Card Captor Sakura Fan Fiction ❯ Wish Unbroken, Dream Unspoken ❯ Chapter 13

Touya woke in his room, alone. Even after a night's sleep he didn't know what to think of everything that had happened. He took his time getting up and getting dressed. It was overcast outside, and a light mist-like rain drizzled gently against the window. Beyond that though, there were already beams of sunlight breaking through the rain, and it was obvious that it would burn off by lunchtime.

He slipped on a pair of pajama bottoms, trying to decide ahead of time how he would deal with things. It was no use. Mirror was still dead, no matter how hopeful Sakura had been last night. She had used the word "possibility" when she told him that she might be able to bring Mirror back. It had reminded him too clearly how there had been a "possibility" that their mom could come home the next day...or the day after that...or next week.... Dad, the doctors, everyone had said "possibility" about her, but she had never come home.

On top of that, his best friend had been the one that did it. The guy he had trusted all these years now. The guy he had fallen in love with. He had killed--

No. He had made a mistake. A very bad mistake, but a mistake nevertheless. He couldn't blame Yukito for what had happened to Mirror and what had almost happened to Sakura. He was probably just as devastated as everyone else by the outcome. Yukito had always been a gentle and kind soul, and the thought of making everyone he loved suffer so much was probably pure hell.

For half a moment Touya entertained the thought that it was all he deserved for what he had done and what he had tried to do. It was tempting to hang onto the anger that went with that thought, but he couldn't do it. This was his Yuki. He wouldn't fix a thing by resenting his friend. He had to go see what he could do to fix it. He finally walked from the room, finding his purpose, finding a reason to start the day.

Down the hall Sakura was singing one of her childish little tunes. Her spirits were returning from the shocking blow they had taken last night. He immediately dismissed thoughts of their mother and concentrated on what Sakura had really wanted to tell him. There was hope, she had told him. It was a small hope, but as long as her friend was within her, as long as Mirror was aware within the strengthening energy of his sister, there was hope. Touya smiled a little as he paused in the hall, he could 'feel' what was going on in there again, and 'feel' where she was despite hearing her. It was a comforting feeling that he didn't quite realize how much he had missed.

As he walked down the stairs he could hear someone cooking in the kitchen. He was shocked when he realized it was Nakuru--he hadn't thought of her as the type to be so considerate. She had only ever been an annoyance to him before, but seeing her this time he realized how much of that had been an act. No, not all of it was, but enough that she wasn't grating on his nerves quite as much as before.

From the living room came signs that Eriol was groggily stirring to life, still tired after casting the spell, but still more powerful than Touya had guessed from before. It surprised him how much he was able to glean from his surroundings suddenly--until the feel of Eriol's presence began to fade, hidden almost completely by the "background noise" of everyday things. A moment later, Eriol walked into the kitchen with a smile, waving Touya in to join them.

Touya shook his head, declining the offer for now. "Where's Yuki?"

But, he knew as soon as he asked. He didn't wait for an answer, he went directly out to the back yard. In the limbs of the tree, Yukito was sitting and swaying his bare feet in the air. Touya grabbed a branch and climbed up, sitting across from him on a branch where he could look his best friend in the eye and face what needed to be said.

"Good morning, Touya. I was hoping to see Eriol first, but he wasn't awake yet."

"He's awake now, if--"

Yukito shook his head. "No, that can wait. This is more important. I need to apologize."

Touya looked closely at his friend. Yukito still looked like Yue outwardly, but he seemed to be finding himself again within. He was alive again, in a way Touya hadn't seen from his friend in too long. Still, he looked at this change with a wary eye. Yue and Yukito both had proven they were too adept at wearing masks to hide what truly drove them. It would take a long time to rebuild that trust. "You scared me, Yuki. A lot."

"I know. I scared myself too. I don't know how to tell you what's been going on inside my mind the last few weeks. There was too much to handle, I was just getting used to the idea that Yue exists, and I don't think I had quite accepted it. Then there was kissing, there were more blackouts to deal with, and I didn't know what you cared about, I didn't know where I stood with you, and I was starting to hate myself. Why couldn't I just be happy that you might have found someone to be happy with? Why was I so scared?"

Touya tried to place himself in Yukito's shoes and winced. He hadn't really thought about it from his friend's point of view, he was so busy trying to figure out how to deal with the chaos in his own life that he hadn't really been able to empathize with the one who was most important to him. He had stood, confused and hurt, completely unable to understand why Yukito was acting the way he had been.

"Yuki, I was probably pushing you too hard. I'm sorry I didn't understand--"

This was met with genuine laughter. "This is my apology, not yours!" Yukito's eyes sparkled, dancing in little patches of weak sunlight that was now starting to illuminate their surroundings. It was a bit of a shock to see his friend able to laugh like that again, finding some part of himself that Touya had been afraid that Yukito had lost forever. "Also, there is nothing you've done that I need to forgive. You did nothing wrong." Yukito's tone became serious again. Touya opened his mouth to protest, to explain, but Yukito was already speaking again, not giving his friend a chance now that he had finally found his voice.

"When I found myself in Yue's place, I was already falling apart. You knew this more than anyone else, but there were things I hid even from you. I was terrified and couldn't see a way out, and that feeling was amplified by being put in a situation I was never meant to be in." He brushed a stray lock of hair out of his face, and over at Touya with clear eyes that begged for understanding and compassion. "It helps to be able to explain this to you. I probably should have tried it before, but I was scared...." He trailed off, looking down at his hands.

Touya found himself reaching over, trying to offer comfort or forgiveness through touch alone, but his hand hadn't even met the half way mark when a cheerful cry came from the house. "Touya-kuuuuun~! Yue-saaaaaan~! Breakfast is ready!"

Touya gritted his teeth, biting back a sharp retort. Instead he muttered, "Hmm, now *that* is the Nakuru I remember. Poor timing and all."

Yukito laughed, and Touya's scowl melted into a grin. Things were returning to normal. They weren't there yet, but they showed signs of heading in that direction.

Yue found himself standing in the back yard under the tree. The misty morning rain was easing now, though the air was still heavy with moisture. Touya was lightly jumping from the tree, wearing loose blue cotton pajama bottoms--and nothing else. He landed gracefully as a cat, his taut muscles shifting, rippling, clearly showing his strength as he easily kept his balance.

"Breakfast is ready," Touya announced after he landed. "I'm just going to run upstairs and get dressed first. It's find for you or Yuki to stare at me like that, but from Akizuki it starts to get annoying."

Yue blinked, surprised. "I wasn't staring! I don't--"

Touya just smiled and rushed inside. Yue followed at a more dignified pace, still protesting internally that he hadn't been staring.

Ah, but you were staring, and so was I. The soft voice came from within, but was somehow also separate. It was very faint, but it was there.

"Yukito?" He whispered it aloud, uncertain if wishful thinking had prompted the mental words, or if they were actually from his alter ego. He concentrated on listening, holding perfectly still so he could know--

There was nothing. That didn't necessarily mean anything though. He walked inside, forgetting about food as the glimmer of possibility overcame physical desires. He stood in the doorway to the kitchen, crossed his arms, and waited for a lull in the conversation at the table. Sakura and Nakuru were chatting animatedly while Eriol smiled and occasionally commented, but Yue still didn't have long to wait before he had brought silence to the group with the weight of his presence.

"Eriol, could I speak with you?" He was polite and formal, hesitating to tear the reincarnation away from nourishment after such a difficult spell. Still, he had to ask.

Eriol smiled and nodded, standing and grabbing an apple in passing. Yue followed him back outside, where they stood just outside the door on the small porch. Eriol leaned against the car parked nearby and took a bite out of the apple.

"Is it possible that Yukito and I could talk to each other? Without another elaborate spell or something of the sort?" The words came out in a hopeful rush before he had even thought about it. Yue immediately blushed, chiding himself internally for acting like a child...like he had acted around Clow so many years ago. Why was this coming back to him now?

Eriol nodded, waving the bitten apple in the air a bit. "You should have been able to before. I misjudged the magic, and I have--ah, but I apologized last night. Yue, I tried very hard, Clow tried very hard, but I'm not perfect. Now though, you should be able to communicate with Yukito. It will be easier once the two of you are returned to your rightful places."

"So, that really was him," Yue murmured softly. He felt something in his awareness shift a little, coming to accept the connection he had with his other self. It was more than just mask and magic. It was a realization of his nature in a way.

"It's already happened? Good. I think I have meddled enough around here for now." He finished the apple and tossed the core in the air, where it promptly disappeared.

"You're leaving?" It seemed too sudden. Just when things were getting resolved, this mage would disappear into the mists and reappear only to cause trouble again.

Eriol nodded. "It's time for me to go. I'm surprised you want me to stay, Yue, after the mess I made of things this time."

Yue gasped, despite the twinkle of humor clearly present in Eriol's eyes. "Of course I would want you to stay!"

"Yue," Eriol forestalled further protest by raising his hand. "Trust me, within a day you won't miss me. That is my hope. It's flattering that you hold me in such regard as Clow's reincarnation, but you have a shining future ahead of you. Look forward, not behind."

These were all the words that were implied but not said the last time they parted. Yue knew that Eriol was right, but his heart was reluctant to let go. He frowned, wanting to protest, but he knew it wouldn't make a difference. Eriol smiled up at the guardian though, as if he could tell exactly what was in Yue's heart. Maybe he could. Yue found himself smiling in reply though, and that made his apprehension melt away. "I will."

"I know. Now, let's go and enjoy breakfast. After that I will fix my mistakes, and leave everyone else to fix their own. Good luck."

They returned to the kitchen, finding it more crowded than Yue had ever seen it before. Everyone was crowded around (or in Kero's case, on) the table, talking animatedly, obviously enjoying the food. Yue slid next to Touya, in a chair that had been brought out of storage for the occasion. It was crowded, but no one complained. From the smiles on most faces, you couldn't tell what had happened the night before. It was strange, but it was--necessary. After only a moment of hesitation Yue allowed himself to fully enjoy the food and the company offered.

Author's note: I've been editing out all the notes in this fanfic until now, because it was originally posted back in 2003 and most of it is so outdated it won't make sense. I'm leaving this one here though. What can I say? Even all these years later, I loved this bit.

Okay, okay, it's *really* getting upbeat here. Yikes! What's this? Is it a happy ending I see? Aaah! The light! It BURNS!

I have one more chapter to go, and resolution will be offered for all. I hope to see you all then! Shirtless Touya is dedicated to Peacewish; he would have been fully clothed and a lot less distracting (and interesting) without her. The following okake is dedicated to her and other Touya fans that pester me all the time. ~grins~ (Thank you for pestering me though! Really!)

Omake:

Yue found himself standing in the back yard under the tree. The misty morning rain was easing now, though the air was still heavy with moisture. Touya was lightly jumping from the tree, wearing loose blue cotton pajama bottoms--and nothing else. He landed gracefully as a cat, his taut muscles shifting, rippling, clearly showing his strength as he easily kept his balance.

He turned with a smile on his face, clearly not realizing what realizing what his walking around without a shirt was doing to the poor moon guardian's libido. "Breakfast is ready," he said innocently.

Yue almost groaned, unable to take his eyes off of Touya's perfect form. He suddenly realized he was channeling the pent up urges of fangirls across the world and slapped himself in the head. "For the love of-- what the heck do you think you're doing, Touya? Running around shirtless like that? They're *reading* this fic! Have you no shame or modesty?"

"Oh, come on Yue, you of all people should know this whole 'gay' think is just to attract the chicks. And *damn* it works too! Hi Peacewish! Hi L-chan! You know you love me...you know you want me!" He waved jauntily, blowing kisses at both authors.

That's when Tam put a gun to both their heads and glared. "Boys, we're trying to film a dramatic angst fic here, not a meat show. Get back to work!"

They groaned and protested a while, but eventually got back to work before Tam killed them.