Card Captor Sakura Fan Fiction ❯ Yukito's Little Secret ❯ Yukino Ending ( Chapter 15 )

BISHLOV: This is a long one so you might as well make yourselves comfortable. And put your feathers down! I've updated, haven't I? Enjoy, minna-san, for this is the LAST NON-SHOUNEN AI chapter.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own CCS or any of its characters. CLAMP does. This plot is a product of my imagination. Any similarities to other fan fictions are unintentional.

YUKITO'S LITTLE SECRET

By bishounen lovah

Yukino Ending

Touya brought a tray full of food for Sakura the following morning. He balanced the tray with one hand while he tapped on her bedroom door. He peeked inside and saw her sitting up on her bed. "The kaijuu's early today."

"So I see," she muttered back as she rubbed the sleep from her eyes.

He was surprised for a full minute then grimaced. Not only had she managed not to get angry at the 'kaijuu' insult/endearment, she also thought up of a nice comeback. His imouto-chan was growing up far too fast. He didn't know if he should be proud or terrified. "What do you think you're doing out of bed?"

"I've got to get ready for school," she walked to her closet or at least tried to. For some reason her room kept on spinning, causing her to sway from side to side.

Touya sighed and went to lead his sister back to bed and firmly tucked her in between the sheets. "Stay there for a few more hours and rest. You lost a lot of energy last night and it would do you no good if you tire yourself out."

"But what about…"

"Don't worry about school. I'm pretty sure Tomoyo-chan and that brat you kept on hanging around with would be around this afternoon to check up on you and give you your assignments. I'm serious, Sakura. I want you to stay in that bed," he glared at her when she tried to get out again. "And don't think you could sneak behind my back. Fluffy promised to keep an eye on you for me."

"I heard that!" came the muffled shout inside a drawer.

"Mou! Fine! Are you leaving already? Isn't it a bit too early?"

"I'm dropping by Yuki's apartment first."

"So you're going to talk to her?"

"Aa. Might as well get this over with." He placed the tray on her lap then knocked loudly on the drawer. "Oi! I'm going! Don't sleep through your job, guardian!"

Kero's response was a string of muffled cusses.

"I heard that," Touya answered back drawing a few more unmentionable words from Kero.

"Ganbatte, 'niichan!" Sakura yelled at the closing door.

Good luck. He needed a lot of those plus a chunk of courage. Now that he was not feeling bad about Yuki's lie, he couldn't help but feel a tiny bit of fear about what she was feeling or thinking right now. Hours after his little talk with Sakura, he realized something that caused such great fear that he wasn't able to sleep.

He realized that he hadn't proved Yuki wrong. He realized that his silence could have reinforced her fears. He feared that he thought badly of her and that he did not love her back. He could not bear her suffering like that.

Touya pedaled faster and forced himself to the limit. The exertion felt good since it dispersed some excess emotions as well as distracted him from his thoughts. By the time he reached her apartment he was huffing and puffing pretty badly. He balanced his bike against the wall and nervously ran his hand through his now damp hair.

You can do it Touya, he gave himself a pep talk. He walked up to the door and raised his hand to the bell but then noticed something. He pressed his palm against the door in disappointment.

Yuki wasn't inside. He couldn't feel her aura inside or anywhere within several blocks.

Perhaps she went to school already. He held on to that bit of hope as he raced towards Seijou. Within a record-breaking (as well as possible bone-breaking) time, he was braking at the school gate. But still there was no sign of her or her aura.

Baka. You must have missed her when you took that shortcut. Touya automatically went to his classroom, thankful that it was still too early for the other students to arrive. He wasn't in the mood to being sociable. He sat on his chair and patiently waited for her.

A few minutes later, his eyes roamed around in a predictable pattern. First, he'd stare at Yuki's seat in front of him then he'd look at the wall clock at the front of the room then his gaze would go to the door. After that the pattern will start all over again: chair, clock, door…chair, clock, door…and so on.

The moment the door opened, the pattern changed: door, classmate (who wasn't Yuki unfortunately), clock, chair…door, classmate, clock, chair…and so on.

And then the door opened again. Door, classmates (still no Yuki), clock, *frown*, chair, *frown*…door, classmates, clock, *frown*, chair, *frown*…and so on.

By the time the bell rang and the homeroom teacher came in, well, the other students were already sweatdropping at his weird behavior. The pattern went as teacher, clock, *frown*, door, *frown*, chair, *frown*, window, *sigh*…and the cycle went on pretty much the whole day.

Where are you, Yuki?

~Scene Change~

Yukino couldn't stand the oppressive silence of her apartment. It was driving her crazy. So she did any, er, normal magical being would do…change to her other form and try to fly away from her problems. But of course one could never run or fly away from his or her problems, magical being or not. The more one tried, the more it came back in full force…sort of like bungee jumping.

So even if she was standing on the highest point of Tokyo Tower, miles away from Tomoeda, the image of an emotionally hurt Touya would not leave her alone.

Had her deceit hurt him so much?

Of course it had. You wouldn't be out here in the cold, alone and crying if it hadn't.

"Shut up!" she finally gave in and yelled at that annoying voice that plagued her mind the whole night. She flew a few stories down and sat on one of the wide beams. She buried her head on her raised knees and rocked herself. For a moment she managed to block her heart from the pain.

But as soon as the sun rose and its rays of light reflected against her silver hair, she knew that she had to go back and face her punishment. Every judgment had a punishment. Finally accepting that everything was over, she stood up, placed on her icy mask and flew back to Tomoeda.

Yukino's first stop was her apartment. Classes had long since started, not that she was even thinking of going to school. She couldn't face Touya yet. Not when the possibility of him being angry was still high. So she washed the traces of her rough night from her face, changed her clothes and went to her mistress' house. Touya wouldn't let his sister go to school today, she was sure of that.

She heaved a deep cleansing breath then rang the Kinomoto's doorbell.

"HOOEEEE!!!"

Yukino almost smiled in amusement when she heard that shout. Even through the closed door she could hear the loud footsteps over Kero's shouted pleas for Sakura to stay in bed. Less than a minute later, the door opened revealing a flushed Sakura.

"Ohayo," Yukino whispered with a tentative smile.

"Hoe," Sakura managed to utter out before promptly passing out. Yukino managed to catch the girl.

"Yare yare," Kero popped out of nowhere, "I told her she shouldn't push herself too much. Come on. We should put her in bed."

Kero led the way and Yukino followed, carrying the girl on her back, piggyback style. They tucked her in and silently watched their mistress. After a while, the sun guardian spoke up. "I take it you haven't talked to Touya yet this morning?"

"No…why?" She didn't take her eyes off the child.

"He left early this morning. Said something about dropping by your place."

"I was out." Small pause then, "was he mad?"

"Mad-angry or mad-insane? He wasn't angry though I question his sanity sometimes." Kero sweatdropped when he didn't get a reaction. "Ne, loosen up will you? It's not the end of the world."

No, I still have several more centuries to suffer from my guilt. But Yukino sighed in relief. That was one less burden. But it didn't mean that everything was peachy. Several minutes later, Sakura stirred.

"How are you feeling?" Yukino asked as soon as the girl's eyes opened.

"Happy," she smiled brightly despite of her weak state. "I'm happy that you're here."

"Sakura-sama…I'm sorry…"

"For what?"

"Everything. This whole mess is my fault. I lied to you and T-Touya. And I wasn't able to perform my duties as your guardian."

"Ne, Yuki-kun, you may be my guardian but it doesn't mean that I own you. Your life is your own. Whatever you choose to be, whatever decision you make, whoever you fall in love with is up to you."

"But I lied to you. I hid everything from you. I couldn't even go to you when I took your powers."

"It wasn't your fault that I'm weakened right now. It's expected that you'd eventually get your strength from me-an inevitability. I won't say that your lie didn't bother me because it did even for a little bit, but I can't hold that against you. All beings make mistakes, and I think you've suffered enough to make up for that mistake."

After several moments of silence, Sakura spoke up again. "Don't punish yourself when there's nothing to punish. What you did wasn't unforgivable. I'm not mad at you and so is Touya-niichan. Whatever happens, believe that it will turn out for the best."

"Thank you, Sakura," Yukino smiled a genuine smile and hugged the girl tight. It was funny how children kept on giving her sound advices-first Syaoran and now Sakura.

She stayed with them for the rest of the day, making up for the neglect she did to her mistress. She cooked them lunch, kept Sakura company and locked Kero in his 'room' when he was being too noisy. And then she felt it. Touya's aura was drawing near. It came rushing to the driveway then paused at the door.

He knows I'm here, she thought in sudden panic.

"Go to him, Yuki-kun," Sakura urged. "Don't worry about me. Kero will keep me company. And pretty soon Tomoyo-chan and Syaoran-kun will be here."

When she didn't move an inch, the girl sighed and used a bossy tone she'd never used before. "Just go and get this over with, will you?"

Yukino tried to put on a brave front and smiled rather weakly. She got out of the room, walked through the hallway and stopped at the landing.

Standing at the foot of the stairs was Touya. The way he was staring up at her unnerved her. She couldn't look back at him nor could she cower and train her eyes on her feet. Instead she stared at the suddenly interesting white pattern of the wall beyond his right ear. The problem of doing that while on the brink of a nervous breakdown was that one could never know if and when Murphy's Law would take effect.

In this case, Yukino missed one step of the stairs while descending which almost sent her tumbling down had it not been for Touya's fast reflexes.

He managed to prevent her from falling down the stairs (for the second time around) and the force of it all slammed him against the wall she'd been admiring so much. But through it all she remained unscathed in his arms. All of her pent-up guilt started overflowing. She always ended up hurting him whether consciously or not.

When Yue tried to hurt his beloved imouto-chan…

When he gave his powers in order to keep Yukito and Yue alive…

When Yukito was not able to tell for himself that he wouldn't be returning to Tomoeda…

When Yukino lied to him and made a fool out of him…

The list could go on really and as long as she was with him it would go on. With her guilt, her tears flowed from her gray eyes. She couldn't stop them just as she couldn't stop clutching at his coat.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." She wasn't just apologizing because of what had just happened. She was apologizing for every pain she'd so unwittingly caused. And it seemed that he had understood for when she became more or less composed she noticed that his aura had a warm, comfortable quality to it. When she looked up into his eyes, there was no anger…no sense of betrayal…no indifference.

What she saw was a pair of very warm, very intense brown eyes.

"Let's go for a walk," he released his hold on her but reached for her hand. He gave her a reassuring squeeze then led her out of the house, linking their fingers together along the way.

Somewhere on the second floor, Sakura and Kero got out of their hiding place. The former had on a look that said 'KAWAII' all over her face while the latter got a big, fat sweatdrop. She recalled her staff and slid the chain over her head. In her hand was a pink card.

"Ne, Sakura, you didn't have to make her lose her balance you know."

"Of course I had to. Libra was getting restless and wanted me to use her. Now what kind of mistress do you think I am if I don't let my cards out once in a while?"

"I'd say the devious kind. You've been hanging around Tomoyo-chan too much."

"No, I'm not. Ohohohohohohoho!"

~Scene Change~

They had walked for a long time in silence. Neither of them knew where to begin, both of them collecting their thoughts and emotions. By sunset they were standing at either side of the Penguin Slide. (B/N: Why not? Everything else happens in that park anyways.)

They kept on sneaking glances at each other but neither spoke up. The sun went down, the moon went up and the stars started to twinkle into the night. Still the only sounds that were heard were the enthusiastic chirping of the crickets and occasional shuffling of feet. The boy was looking up at the stars, realizing yet again that he truly couldn't blame her. Those heavenly bodies could really mesmerize anybody to wish almost anything. But the girl was looking anywhere and everywhere but the stars (and the boy). She learned her lesson. Those things were nothing but trouble.

And then Touya's words taunted her. "The stars are beautiful ne?"

Yukino did not reply nor did she look up. She just continued to lean there, hoping that some miracle would happen to get them out of this awkward situation. Little did she know that the miracle would come from Touya himself. One minute they had that slide between them, the next minute he was right in front of her, tipping her chin up.

"I forgive you."

At first she thought she imagined it, but the warm glint in his eyes and the soft smile on his lips told her that she didn't. I forgive you. Such simple words but they meant everything to her. She couldn't hold her tears back. Tears of relief, happiness and love. She threw herself at him, buried her face against his chest and cried on him for the second time around that day.

"Touya!" was all she could say through her sobs.

He spent the next minutes comforting her, all the while savoring her nearness. He stroked her long hair time and time again and held her tighter to him when her sobs racked her body. After a while, his head went down and he whispered in her ear.

"I love you."

That stopped her from crying. She pushed from his chest and stared at him with sorrowful eyes. "I don't deserve…"

His lips came down on hers to stop her from saying those words. She was torn between ecstasy and guilt. Just because he had forgiven her didn't mean she had forgiven herself. But she wanted to. This kiss made her want to believe in his words and in herself.

The kiss wasn't like their first one. That one had been passionate and searching while this one was soft, gentle and slow. It was as if he was no longer searching for something…no longer in doubt. He wanted the kiss to last and show her that indeed he loved her. It was as if he was willing her to believe.

"Don't ever think that you don't deserve my love," he said rather breathlessly as soon as their lips parted. "If anything, it is I who doesn't deserve you."

"No, listen," he shushed her when she tried to protest. "You loved me enough to change. That alone gives me an idea how much you care for me. And though your lie had hurt, I now understand why you did it. I love you, Yuki, no matter what form you take on. Please don't doubt that."

"Touya," she whispered back, half in disbelief. It was too good to be true. She had spent so many months waiting for those words that she was having trouble accepting them as reality.

Whatever happens, believe that it will turn out for the best, Sakura had said to her.

I believe it, Yukino at last stopped punishing herself.

"Thank you, Touya," she hugged him back.

I love you. She didn't have to say those words aloud. He knew. In her eyes, he could see it. With her lips, he could feel it. And they spent many minutes telling each other they loved one another.

Hours later, they were sitting at the bottom of the slide with Yukino's back to his chest, just relishing each other's company and looking up at the brightly lit sky.

"The stars are beautiful ne?" Touya kissed the top of her head.

"Yes." Yes, they are. With her love's arms around her, she could finally say that the stars were indeed beautiful.

~FIN~ (for non-shounen ai lovers)

To be concluded (for shounen ai lovers)…

BISHLOV NOTES:

[1] MURPHY'S LAW kind of goes like if something can go wrong, chances are it will.

[2] I know that the LIBRA CARD is used to judge whether something is a lie or not, but since it's the symbol of balance I kind of added its power. Get it? "Balance" as in gravity and such. Thus Sakura was able to secretly 'trip' Yukino using the card in an attempt to meddle.

[3] This is it folks! The LAST NON-SHOUNEN AI CHAPTER! To those who had been suffering from my insanity since the first chapter but chose to read on…THANKS A BUNCH!!!

[4] YUKITO ENDING is up next!

Huggles, minna-san! ^.^