Cat Girl Nuku Nuku Fan Fiction / Ah My Goddess Fan Fiction / Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction / Sailor Moon Fan Fiction ❯ Hotaru 1/2 ❯ second day ( Chapter 2 )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

HOTARU 1/2: Second day
mainly by Kestral and Kender_Sci


-------

Michiru had taken some time to convince that Hotaru needed to be pulled out of Furinkan. Still, someone needed to rein in on Haruka at times like this.

"What do you mean 'you can't withdraw Hotaru' from this *MADHOUSE*?!" Haruka asked for what seemed the fourth time.

"Hey, da big kahuna, he got just da ting to explain this ta ya," explained the school principal. "Just ta take a da seat!"

Haruka finally sat back on a chair next to Michiru in the principal's office.

"Now ya two are kinda young to be lil' wahina's adoptees, ya know. Ya kinda look more like'a da students." The principal pointed out.

"We're her legal guardians," said Haruka beginning to get angry again.

"Oh, de big kahuna got just da ting ta make'a de explanations," said Principal Kuno, handing the two pineapples.

"What are we supposed to do with this," asked Haruka.

*BOOM!* *BOOM!*

Principal Kuno smiled. "I be gettin da paralysis powder from mine own little wahini. Is being time students to conform to da school dress code!"

-------

Silver Millenium equipment had been designed to change with the times. The most striking example of this, that the Senshi had encountered, had been the Mercury Computer - which had started out looking like a calculator and currently looked like an ultra-thin laptop computer. Sailor Moon's wands and sceptres evolved through similar means.

Tuxedos, for another example, were a relatively recent invention but it fit the same role as a similar garb in the Silver Millenium and was therefore shown when such a garb's use was indicated.

The castles weren't nearly so adaptable- being older and established long before some of these later developments. Still, they could manage *some* tweaking.

Furniture was altered as more data accumulated. Styles were brought up to date. Minor things.

The interface was a little more work, but still within the capabilities of Castle Saturn. After some searching of broadcast bands and files, it had decided to take a particular persona from a movie that seemed to fit its role.

"Mistress, Sir, I have prepared a light meal for you."

Hotaru blinked muzzily awake, realized she'd fallen asleep, and blushed heavily.

Ranma realized he was clinging to the ceiling, that nothing had happened as they were both clothed, but still... he was *so* dead if this got out.

"Uhm, you're..." Hotaru asked.

"A holographic representation, Mistress," said the British looking fellow in the tuxedo. "I have decided on the persona/identity of 'Alfred' until you request another identity, simply to ease communication and interface." Normally the Castle would appear as a chibi-Saturn, but with the Consort around that hadn't seemed appropriate.

"Oh," said Hotaru, trying to sort through that.

Ranma slowly dropped down, still lost in how doomed he was.

"It will await you in the main dining room," said 'Alfred'. "Does the Consort require information on techniques?"

Ranma nodded, thinking martial arts techniques.

Hotaru saw Ranma nod and nodded herself.

Alfred noted that the Consort required instruction on his role. Well, they were young yet. Not even a quarter century old.

-------

Usagi turned to say hello to Haruka and Michiru as they entered. The soda fell from her nerveless fingers.

"Hey you two, I..." Rei's voice trailed off into nothing.

"ACK!" Minako put quite well.

Haruka looked ticked. Michiru looked... like she was about to break down and cry or go on a homicidal rampage. Or both.

Haruka was nearly bald. She had less than a millimeter of hair coating her scalp. Michiru was nearly the same, but her hair was perhaps a full centimeter in length. Neither had eyebrows showing.

"The principal is a youma. We should go back and destroy that school for the good of humanity," suggested Haruka.

"I quite agree," said Michiru. "As soon as we can find him. I'd think you'd had enough of boobytraps and exploding coconuts to avoid just blindly charging in anymore."

"Oh yes," said Haruka, wryly. "Quite enough."

"Uhm," Usagi struggled for a subtle and polite way to ask, she gave up after a moment. "What happened to your hair?"

"We had a meeting with the principal," said Haruka, scratching at her nearly bare scalp. "It didn't quite go as we anticipated."

"Hotaru and her fiance seem to be doing fine, however I did agree with Haruka on the matter of Furinkan's scholastic record being less than exemplary." Michiru tried to recover some measure of poise and dignity.

"Uhm," Usagi began, about to repeat her question.

"Exploding coconuts, robot crabs, exploding tiki, electrically charged hula dolls, exploding pineapples, robot sharks, exploding palm trees, monkeys trained to give haircuts," listed Haruka.

"You forgot the contact poison on the Hawaiian shirts, exploding bottles of suntan lotion, and firebombing parrots," helpfully pointed out Michiru.

"Cheee!"

"I already mentioned the monkeys, didn't I?" Haruka asked.

"That wasn't me," said Michiru.

"Cheee cheee!" *Bzzzzzzzzzzzzz!*

Usagi Tsukino blinked and slowly reached up to her hair.

"He's coming back around! He's coming after you!"

"EEEEEK!" "AAAAAA!" "NO! BAD MONKEY!"

Usagi slowly reached down and picked up one of her odango, staring at the length of hair in her hands.

"MERCURY STAR!"

"No! You shouldn't transform unless..."

*BZZZZZZzzzzzzZZZZZZ!*

"Ohmygosh! It got Luna!"

"...?! SCREW THAT! KILL THE DAMN THING!"

-----

Hotaru thought it was time to get back. According to Alfred it was fairly early in the morning back home, which meant that the two of them had spent the night, which meant...

Haruka-poppa and Michiru-momma were going to be very unhappy.

Not to mention all those crazy people after Ranma would think that she and he had done *that*. So she had to get back NOW with Ranma and deal with things before they got worse, or else just stay here with Ranma.

She was very very tempted by the latter course of action. It had a lot going for it.

Hotaru blushed as she realized Ranma was staring at her again.

------

Ranma had felt Hotaru's heart when she'd healed him. Just a glimpse while he'd tried to open himself and see how she was doing it. At one point he had been completely open and she completely focussed.

She cared about him. She had this giant wellspring of compassion and kindness and... nobility.

Funny how different nobility was when comparing "the noble house of Kuno" with this.

Ranma had been confronted with true nobility of spirit and he'd compared that with what he knew of the fiancees he'd already had. Then he'd compared it with himself and felt, perhaps for the first time in his life, small and dirty by comparison. It had been humbling, like he'd thought himself the greatest thing since cooked rice and then found out that he was in a tiny little room and there was a great big world out there.

He couldn't help staring at Hotaru, who blushed in response.

Hotaru Tomoe/Sailor Saturn deserved LOTS better than him. That wasn't what she wanted though. She wanted HIM.

She wanted HIM but would let him go if he asked her to. If he told her no she'd pack up her bags and he'd never see her again. She wasn't going to try to force him into anything.

Ranma looked away, nervously swallowing. If he didn't tell her "no" - he'd be getting involved in BIG things. The little comfortable "Ranma Saotome is the center of the universe and martial arts is everything" world he'd been in would be gone and he'd be getting in way over his head at times.

If he did tell her "no" - she'd be hurt. There was a great loneliness in her, and her story had demonstrated that she didn't have a lot of friends or options. From what she had said, her legal guardians were going to set her up with some girlfriend of hers that she didn't really want in *that* way.

Whatever the case, whichever way he went, just stringing her along didn't seem like a good idea. Accept her as a fiancee or reject her outright. He had to do one.

-----------

The cafe wasn't tiny, but it was an out of the way place. Lights shone upon the tables, but left the room mostly in semi-shadows. Customers sat at those tables, their conversations kept low not only by atmosphere, but by unspoken consent. In fact it was only the sound of light jazz music that broke the near silence.

And at a table in one corner of the cafe, sat Setsuna Meiou drinking a cup of steaming tea. Not one of those mass produced store brought brands, but the actual blends that simply made her feel better. She just sat there and sighed in contentment for a very good reason. Here she was not the Princess of Pluto, Sailor Pluto or the Guardian of the Gates, but simply Setsuna Meiou.

That was what attracted her to the eatery since the place was quiet and had a non-intrusive staff. Not that anything illegal was going on in there, but they knew enough to leave people alone. So she was simply allowed to sit, drink her tea and think.

What she was thinking about happened to be one Ranma Saotome. Brash, arrogant and prideful, he was also honest, honorable and would never willingly hurt Hotaru. Yet, his own center of chaos had spread and things were happening that he had never thought about.

Which suited Setsuna just fine at the moment. She bit back a giggle at the thought of what would happen. She glanced at her watch and amended that. What *had* happened. Haruka and Michiru would have met the so called 'principal' by now. And Setsuna was already thing about a way to use this to her advantage. Those two not only had to loosen up, among lots of other things.

Still, Setsuna herself was in a quandry of sorts. She had a choice to make. 'No Ranma' meant a Crystal Tokyo and it would be a city of people about as exciting as potato salad. But if she got Hotaru and Ranma together, then something of this could make things more... interesting. Instead of the staid little city where going to a concert one day meant that she'd have a place that would have growth of music and and art and literature... among other things.

But now, they had to deal with a demon and one who wanted Ranma. That meant that they'd have to be extra careful these days. Plus she had to thank her deities for keeping her safe for now, along with assistance of those beings.

Besides, it would be fun to see the look on the pair's faces...

------

Principal Kuno stopped writing out his newest order for Acme Novelty Company, and slowly put the pen down. He had this awful feeling of impending doom.

*THUNK!*

"Ch-ch-cheeeee."

Looking at the smouldering monkey that had just landed in his office, Principal Kuno made an executive decision. "Need schedule quality time in Islands. Feeling plenty bad juju."

------

Nabiki looked in on Akane's bed.

There was Akane's body, surrounded by spirit wards and good luck charms, apparently resting comfortably.

"She almost looks asleep," said Kasumi, nearly sending Nabiki into orbit.

Clutching her chest, Nabiki looked back at her elder sister. "Don't DO that. Not with demons and goddesses and who knows what else wandering about."

Kasumi nodded, acknowledging the point.

There was the sound of someone running up the stairs. "Akaneeeee!"

Kasumi stood her ground. That goddess had been quite explicit. If the wards around Akane were disturbed before her soul had been reunited with her body, they might lose her forever.

Soun Tendo hardly noticed knocking aside his other two daughters as he rushed in to check his precious youngest baby girl.

He did, however, notice when his eldest daughter -

*BONG*

- brought a frypan down upon his head.

"I wonder what tortures Akane is going through right now," mused Nabiki as she also contemplated how best to reinvent herself as a "good guy" and thereby get some protection.

-------

Akane was finding that her spirit was in spirits. She had been transferred to a larger liquor bottle, and Malfea was currently working on something nearby that Akane couldn't make out through the thick glass.

On the other hand, having merged with the rum in her new home, she was feeling pretty good right at the moment.

-----

"BURNING MANDALA!" "JUPITER THUNDER DRAGON!" "CRESCENT SHOWER!"

"YAAAAAAAHHHH!" Hawaiian floral shirt afire, a certain principal was wondering what he had done to annoy the Sailor Senshi. "Ain't you wahini supposed to be in Juuban?!"

Three classrooms blew up.

"Evil such as yours is worth crossing a few districts to stop," replied Sailor Mars. "For corrupting innocent monkeys and tropical fruit, you shall be punished in high heels!"

"But I not wear high heels," argued the wildly dodging principal.

"How did you know he was setting up traps before class today?" Sailor Moon asked Sailor Neptune in between "Deep Submerge"s.

"Intuition," growled Sailor Neptune.

"Coconut Catapult!"

"World Shaking!" "Fire Soul!" "Crescent Beam!" "Deep Submerge!" "OAK EVOLUTION!"

-------

Tatewaki Kuno sat as was his routine, meditating upon his life. This was normally a time for introspection and deep thought that brought with it a greater understanding of one's self and the world around them. When faced with a problem, great masters would sit and ponder questions with no regard for any world save the realm of thought. And Kuno mainly did this, with his questions burning at his mind.

Unfortunately, the world he pondered was only his own, a very scary place indeed. For him, meditating was usually one one of three things; his 'greatness', defeating 'the foul sorcerer' Ranma Saotome, or his two 'loves'. What was normal, for Kuno, was that he was deep in thought about his loves. Yet it was not just two of them that he was thinking about...

"I must have images of my delicate violet-eyed valkyrie if I am to properly worship her beauty!" lamented the Kuno Heir. He had cleared an area (with Sasuke doing the work) whereupon he could place examples of the beauty that was the new love in his life. Yet, he had none to properly enshrine!

"Take heart Master Kuno," soothed the diminutive ninja, "I'm sure that you will figure something out."

"But of course, Sasuke. However that does not counter the fact that I have not one picture of the glory that is that violet-eyed beauty!"

"You could always ask Nabiki Tendo if she could sell you some pictures..."

"That's it Sasuke! I shall endeavor to seek out the mercenary Tendo and request a purchase of photographs of this new sprite of love! It was so simple that I do not understand why I did not think of it earlier!"

"It must be too far below the complexities of your mind, Master Kuno."

"Too true. Too true."

***

"Brrrr. I just got-"

"This little feeling like something running over your grave, or something nasty is gonna hit the fan? Happens to me all the time," Ranma said, taking Hotaru's hand in his own and marvelling at the differences in fiancees in just that little thing.

Hotaru's hand was tiny and felt warm and soft in his own. Shampoo had been fighting since she was a child as had Ukyo. Both of them had ridges of callous and strong hard lines - particularly from weapons use. Ukyo's hands also had little burns - a natural byproduct of working with hot oil and frying foods. Akane, for all that her wrists were of a similar size to Hotaru's, also had thick lines of callous and old scars on her hands - from breaking boards and bricks and whatever have you as part of her practice. Akane and Shampoo sometimes wore polish, but would never go for the slightly longer nails that Hotaru had as they weren't practical if you were going to make a fist and then drive that fist into a wall.

If he had held hands with Akane - Ranma would expect to get clobbered at any moment. If Akane didn't immediately protest, the two fathers would start going for marriage or something, and THEN Akane would get angry and take it out on him. If he had tried to hold Shampoo's hand, he'd have gotten glomped, attacked by Mousse and/or Akane, and that would have been it. Holding hands with Ukyo would have led to a slightly less desperate glomp, but then Ukyo would start babbling about how they'd be running a restaurant and stuff. He knew this because this sort of thing had happened before, and for him holding someone's hands had not been a romantic gesture - it had been just one of those odd things. Ukyo, for example, had accidently blinded herself with flour at one point and he'd led her back to a sink. Shampoo had done something similar with hot spice two days previously.

In Hotaru's case, holding hands so she could teleport them back to Nerima had been innocent as well, but the smile she turned on him...

Akane could smile like that. When she was in a good mood and feeling that she was in a superior position and therefore not threatened. She didn't do it that often, particularly lately, but Ranma would have gone to hell and back for that smile. And here it was on someone just because he was holding her hand. Wow. Some people are just easier to please than others.

As for Hotaru, she looked at Ranma and felt his hand engulfing hers. His was a strong hand and warm, and with lots of character. She could feel rough callous and old scars on the skin, but it was the feel of that hand and knowing that it was Ranma's and that he TRUSTED her made all sorts of interesting tingles up and down her spine.

Ranma tried to figure out the best way of breaking it to Hotaru that he didn't think they were compatible.

------

Shampoo tried to come to terms with the events recently.

Okay, maybe great-grandmother and Cat-goddess-person were right and she *had* screwed things up royally as far as wooing her airen.

How could she act less than true to herself though? Well, apparently she had to. In order to get Ranma in this mess, she had to change tactics completely.

When it had been practically rubbed in her face, Shampoo could acknowledge that just maybe her ideas of what would win Ranma over were based more on the boys of her village than a boy of Japan.

Shampoo stopped the bike she was doing early morning deliveries on and looked at her reflection in the mirrored glass of an office building. From what she understood of men, they should be all over her. She was cute, she had a good figure, she dressed to emphasize that figure, and she was naturally very affectionate and enthusiastic. Perky and cute worked on the majority of TV programs she'd seen, but weren't working here.

So what was it that her airen saw in Akane anyway? Maybe he was one of those guys who actually enjoyed getting hurt? Shampoo made a face after contemplating that thought. It made *way* too much sense. After all, who would he have learned affection from - his father?

Her eyes widened. That theory now made *way* too much sense. Insults and violence as a means of expressing affection. Her airen was seriously messed up!

Still, she'd apparently been going around with a theory that had proven incorrect before - so she ought to bounce this idea off someone else before embracing it. Shampoo made her delivery, accepted the payment, and turned her bike to a different path. There were others losing in this match, and if they were to ally at least temporarily - it would make their own hand the stronger.

-------

Ukyo listened to the Amazon as she explained her theory. So did a number of her early morning customers.

"You know, the scary thing is," said a sarariman with a breakfast okonomiyaki, "that fits."

Ukyo had been about to scoff this lame idea, but now she thought about it again. Could that be it? The reason that Akane and Ranma had continued to get closer was because to Ranma's delusional Genma-defined system - unreasoning anger + insults + violence = affection? That he and Akane had been getting closer was not despite the violence - but because of it?

Another sarariman spoke up. "You know, Akane's always had that temper. Could be that she enjoys pounding Ranma and so she's subtly encouraging him. Can you imagine what kind of spiral that would lead to eventually?"

Ukyo shuddered, picturing a laughing Akane having thrust a sword through Ranma's heart.

Shampoo shuddered, picturing a smiling Akane having chopped off Ranma's manhood as an ingredient in some stew.

"Of course, if you're right, that new girl is going to be rejected. She just doesn't seem that violent." The first sarariman put in. "He'll end up going back to Akane."

Ukyo and Shampoo shuddered, met each other's gazes and nodded. Better Ranma ended up with scary powerful Sailor Senshi than in a bloody pool in the dojo!

-------

*Ching-ching* *screeeeeeech!*

"Shampoo! You've been gone so long!"

Cologne looked up. "That wasn't Shampoo." Shampoo didn't brake that often.

"Shampoo! You're taller than you used to be? And flatter chested."

*BOOM!*

"aaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaa!"

Col ogne glanced up at the dwindling Mousse. "If you land in Osaka, be sure to bring back some of that Kobe beef!"

"Uhm, excuse me..."

Cologne blinked at the pink haired girl who'd just punted Mousse out of the district. "You're looking for Ranma?"

"Unnn," agreed the girl with a cheerful nod.

"I can give you directions," said Cologne agreeably, "but first, child, can you tell me *what* you are?"

"Nuku Nuku is Nuku Nuku," said the pinkhaired girl pleasantly. "Nuku is Ranma's fi-an-cee."

"Of course you are," agreed Cologne, "I was just trying to find out if you were a goddess or a demon or something. I'll give you directions to Furinkan High School, that's the school Son-in-law is attending."

"Waiii! Thank you, oba-sama!"

Cologne smiled. At least this one was polite.

--------

Setsuna Meiou appeared in front of the school and checked her wristwatch. Hmmm. Students were gathering about, and on a normal day with a normal school, the school nurse would be checking into her clinic and preparing things for another day of sprains, strains, and the occasional tummy ache.

"Maybe we should call the fire department," said Sayuri.

"Niaow!"

"Yuka-chan, I know you've had a catgirl fetish for years, but did you have to request that from Bast-san?"

"Oh man, is that gaping hole up there my classroom?"

"Looks like school's closed today," opined Hiroshi.

*BOOOM!* *Crackle!* *FWOOM!*

"Aaaaaaaaahhhhhh, I be thinkin' that the Big Islands they be calling me!"

"That looked like Principal Kuno," said Daisuke. "Except that little palm tree on his head was on fire."

"Come back here and get dusted you yoma!"

There was mass blinking from the crowd as two girls with *very* bad haircuts ran past.

"That explains a lot," said Sayuri. "Can't blame them either."

"Hey, Sayuri-chan, that looks like fun!" Yuka leapt to the top of a wall with her new catgirl powers. "Hey everyone! We get to help the Sailor Senshi AND beat on that macademia nut of a principal at the same time! What do you say!"

"Ohhhh ho ho ho," said Hiroshi. "I *likes* this idea."

"KILL THE YOMA!" "SEND HIM BACK TO HAWAII - IN AN EGGCUP!" "SHAVE *HIS* HEAD AND SEE HOW HE LIKES IT!"

Setsuna held up her thermos of tea and thoughtfully shook it. She might have time to refill it.

"Sailor Pluto, isn't it?" Bastet slinked up, somehow managing to slink despite wearing a fairly conservative business dress.

"Ah, Bastet-san." Setsuna nodded. "Though I'm officially Setsuna Meiou, school nurse. Ranma should be arriving shortly."

The Egyptian goddess shrugged. "I'm not pursuing Ranma *that* devotedly. I'm officially married, we just seperate for brief periods."

"Like a mortal generation or two?" speculated Setsuna.

"Exactly," agreed Bastet. "Nuku Nuku is over there, and I'll go say hello in a bit. How's the geas?"

"Hasn't troubled me since you..." Setsuna made a little finger wiggling gesture.

"That's good," said Bastet. "I see you've gotten a few pictures of your teammates with their new haircuts."

"Perhaps it's a little petty," said Setsuna, "but they *did* kill me when we fought Galaxia."

"Well, it's a good start, I think. Though you really had little to do with it." Bastet commented. "Your decision to get involved was not predicated entirely on this, was it?"

"No, not at all," said Setsuna. "How much do you know about Crystal Tokyo?"

"One of several potential futures, a sort of vague utopian magic kingdom, isn't it?" Bast conjured a cup of catnip tea and sipped at it as the two watched more of the school get decimated.

"Haruka-poppa, Michiru-momma?!" Hotaru had just appeared and realized that her spending the night away was currently the least of their concerns.

"Whoa," said Ranma, looking over the wrecked school. "Man, this looks worse than the time Taro and Happosai got into it during one of the old perv's raids on the locker rooms."

-------

"What to do with you," said Malfea to the spirit in the bottle, "that is the question. You have your good points, as disgusting as that is, so I'm somewhat limited. I can't simply eat you - truly dark souls instead of mainly dark souls are much more nourishing and tastier."

Malfea held up an ecchi looking rod. "Beautiful, isn't it? My first thought was putting someone who was so into the whole sex-violence thing into a toy like this. Your soul forever in this prison, only able to feel anything when you were used. Still, Bastet is familiar with a few who know how to break soul prisons and free that vital spark from things like Rune Weapons. They might not do it if I were able to get close enough to poison or possess your mortal body - but you can never tell with goddesses like Bastet. Like a cat she can be quite cruel when the spirit moves her."

The demon moved about her workshop. "They'll come and rescue you, you know. I'm evil, that doesn't mean stupid any more than being good does. That luscious fiance you had will brave my lair and challenge me for your soul. By then he'll have a layer of protection on him so that I can't simply snatch his soul. But given, say - in exchange for *yours*? Yes, my dear, you will be the death of Ranma Saotome - and the agent of his damnation and subjugation to my spirit. Every day that goes by with you returned will remind you of how your own temper led to this, and you will have to live with it."

Malfea picked up the bottle and smiled at Akane. "I'm evil, you see. I enjoy things like that. First though, I've found *just* the receptacle for your soul until the exchange is made."

-------

"What's needed is a place to do classes today," suggested Sayuri.

"Well, you sure can't have 'em at school," needlessly pointed out Hiroshi.

A crash and tinkle of breaking glass from somewhere inside said school punctuated his remark.

Setsuna sighed. "I suppose moderation was too much to hope for."

Bastet smiled and clapped her hands. "Okay. Everyone who's in Ranma's class, line up here. Yes, you too Kuonji-san! Today is the perfect day for a field trip, don't you think?"

Cheers met this proposal, especially as some of the school was beginning to smoulder.

Nabiki shouldered her way forward. "What about the rest of the school? What about parental permission? What about... what are you doing?"

"Opening a teleport gate, Miss Tendo," said Bast. "Now if you don't mind, I have to finish anchoring it."

"B-b-b-but," Nabiki stammered before stopping and catching herself.

Bast nodded eventually at the result. "Field trips are supposed to be educational, right? Broadening experiences for young minds?"

"Where did you link to?" Setsuna raised an eyebrow at the sight. It was early morning around her, but the area beyond the space fold was obviously night.

"I've heard a lot about this moon orbitting a gas giant named Garibaldi and I've been meaning to check it out," answered Bast. "Okay, everyone. You've got a half hour to get home, pick up your swimsuits and fishing gear. We're going to a beach!"

The cheers meeting this revelation was several orders of magnitude more heartfelt than the previous one.

Hiroko, a girl in glasses, adjusted them. "This is quite improper! I protest. We should ACK!"

Setsuna tsked at the sight of some poor girl getting dogpiled by nearly the entire student population. "Okay people, go to it."

------

The first problem was that the first group through the Gate looked around and came to a complete and total stop.

More people pushed forward, saw what had stopped the first group, and also came to an utter halt.

Finally, though it was rude, the way was cleared by people just shoving their way through. Then when they saw IT, they immediately understood WHY everyone had come to a stop.

Garibaldi VII is proof that whether you ascribe to a belief in divinity or laws of nature, somewhere they've got to end up in positive balance. 90% of Earth's mass, tropical temperatures, shallow seas, vast forested plains and the occasional jutting mountain range. All taken in combination would have given pause to people far more worldly than a bunch of students from a Japanese High School.

Garibaldi itself was a striped gas giant that was fairly unimpressive by itself. A failed protostar with a core of more solid materials than Jupiter, including a fair amount of what was called "black dwarf" material - ejecta from nearby supernovae. Garibaldi orbitted a fairly unremarkable yellow dwarf sun, and the other planets were likewise unremarkable - with two asteroid belts that were fairly stable as such things go. That sun was a member of what was referred to as a globular cluster - where the density of stars were greater than out in the unfashionable mid-arm areas like Earth.

There were even tattered bits of nebula, themselves unremarkable in the universe.

Add them all together, however, and this is what greeted the skeptics and the scoffers, the "know it all" high schoolers and their teachers, the Sailor Senshi (who'd decided to stick around), and their guests.

"Dear god..." Nabiki managed, trying to get her fingers to work the camera.

Bastet patted her head in passing. "That's goddess, dear."

It was night, but there was light. The thickly packed starscape with colorful streamers of multicolored gas. Then, of course, there was a thin sliver of Garibaldi itself that was fairly well lit, with the rest of the massive and nearby planet dimly visible through the atmosphere. The light level was easily twice that of a full moon on Earth, and the snowcapped mountains running to thick green forests were clearly visible. The sound of the nearby surf was the only sound heard for long minutes.

"Okay, did everyone bring their fishing gear?" Bastet said, clapping her hands. "Class? Hello? Anyone? Yo!"

"Give them time," advised Setsuna. "They've just been confronted with the idea that Japan is not the center of the universe."

Bastet shrugged, never having had that belief.

"Truly, this is a vista worthy of the noble scion of the House of Kuno. I hereby claim this land in the name of the Kuno family!"

This statement proved to be sufficiently ludicrous to shake many of the students out of their daze.

"Uhm, Kuno baby," said Nabiki, tapping her classmate on the shoulder. "Exactly *how* do you plan on getting from Japan to here on a regular basis? Not to mention little things like authority to claim this land?"

"Bother me not with such trifling concerns," said Tatewaki Kuno. "As a member of Japan's nobility, it is well within my authority to cede such."

"Except you don't own it, child," said Bastet from where she was setting up a portable grill. "There is a prior claim as someone stepped forth before any of you."

"Who dares to challenge the authority of the Blue Thunder?" Kuno thundered, raising his bokken.

"Bastet, estranged wife of Sekhmet, goddess of cats and marriage and sensual pleasure. Among other things." Bastet wasn't terribly concerned about the blustering swordsman. She'd seen far too many of them over the centuries. They usually came to a bad end.

"Pfeh! A goddess! You think too much of yourself woman. My pigtailed goddess is far greater than you, and not nearly so... pedestrian." Kuno sneered at the woman. "You may count yourself a powerful sorceress to transport us here, but my blade is proof against any sorcery!"

Bastet sighed and dusted her knees off as she stood. "That sounded like a challenge."

"I do not lower myself to battle with a gaijin tramp such as yourself," began Kuno.

*FWOOOM!*

Bastet now taking the form of an 18' foot tall tigerwoman limned with green fire, Tatewaki Kuno noticed that the crowd around him had melted away and most were running to place still further distance between themselves and his noble personage.

"So proud of your sword, child? Well, hear now my curse. Your sword shall wither and shrink. No more will its voice be added to your madness. Never will you know pleasures of joining, nor will you ever be able to pleasure a maiden. No matter what you try, from now on your sword shall be shriveled and dry! I, Bastet of Heliopolis, do pronounce upon you this curse until such time as you make amends to all those you have wronged!"

*FWOOM!*

Kuno blinked several times and checked his bokken. It still felt the same. "Foul witch! Your thpell hath not worked. As I hath stated, I am proof against enchantments!"

Nabiki got up from where she'd been cowering, composed herself, and stepped up behind Kuno. "Kuno baby. She wasn't talking about that kind of sword."

"Speak plainly woman, what are you... what hath happened to my voice. Ith hath gotten all..."

"Falsetto," supplied Nabiki. "Would you prefer squeaky? Effeminate?"

Kuno looked annoyed until one could see the idea at last take hold. He rushed off into the forest. A high pitched scream occurred shortly thereafter.

"Wasn't that a bit much?" Nabiki asked of the goddess.

"Not at all," responded Bastet. "You didn't see into his mind. Yech. He should be glad I didn't switch the places of his two swords. Besides, you heard the condition of the curse. All he has to do is make amends to the people he wronged, even a token gesture in each case or something like an apology, and the curse will be lifted."

Broken sobbing could be heard from within the forest.

"It's a field trip, it's supposed to be educational," said Bastet. "Now, does anyone want to try catching some fish? I've heard they are *quite* tasty here."

The various Senshi began wondering if this Bastet was a villain. And if so, what could they do about it?

Michiru came up first, intent on questioning this woman and determining if she was a threat to them or Crystal Tokyo.

Bastet merely nodded as she approached. "I know why you're here."

Michiru stopped, frowning, wondering how to attack someone who was reading your mind.

"She can't read your mind unless you either make a contract with her or challenge her, it's one of those rules," said Setsuna softly in a helpful voice.

"Even so, it's obvious," replied Bastet.

Michiru had momentarily relaxed but now went to a guard position.

"There you go, child. No charge. You've been kind to cats in the past," said Bastet.

Michiru was ready to transform to Sailor Neptune the moment that villain's eyes flashed. All the itching along her scalp made it a little distracting as she pulled her transformation pen out, then brushed hair out of her eyes to...

There were gasps from the other Senshi, also ready to transform, as they saw what had occurred.

Michiru held up her mirror and stared, reaching back with one hand to confirm what it was telling her.

Her hair had returned. Lustrous and shining, it hung down to her waist. "..."

Bastet looked over the grill, then out to the students fishing. "Try nets. There are supposed to be something like tuna out there. You'll only catch tiny ones with fishing equipment like that."

Michiru smiled at the sight she'd thought she'd spend several months recovering. She'd have to get it cut and styled again, but this was *so* much better than it had been. Still. "Uhm. Bastet-san?"

"Yes, dear?" Bastet looked up at the young lady, as she tried to use mundane methods to getting the grill warmed up.

"Are you opposed to Crystal Tokyo? Do you pull odd pieces of jewelry out of people's bodies? Steal souls or anything similar?" Michiru asked, hoping for a particular answer.

"No, no, and no." Bastet frowned as she considered the odd question. "They don't have anything against cats in this Crystal Tokyo, do they?"

"No, in fact the Royal Family keeps a few as advisors," honestly answered Michiru.

"Well good then," said Bastet, as far as she was concerned that pretty much clinched it. "Sounds nice."

Michiru nodded and then swept elegantly back to her place, feeling a lot better than she had since meeting Principal Kuno.

Haruka glanced from Michiru to the "goddess" and back. "Uhm."

A few minutes later the first few fish had been caught and violin music could be heard along the beach.

---------

Ukyo made okonomiyaki, of course. Shampoo, who had planned on seeing her airen in the schoolyard, had tagged along.

THIS was hardly what either of them had expected out of a "field trip."

It also brought home to everyone, with the notable exception of one Tatewaki Kuno, what the Middle Eastern/Asian woman in the business suit was. Exactly what she claimed to be. A goddess. Someone who had been alive when the pyramids were being built. Someone with the raw power to open a tunnel in space/time measuring lightyears across. Someone of mercurial moods who could grant a boon to Yuka at one point, and come up with a curse that had most of the boys around them crossing their legs and hoping they didn't do ANYTHING to tick off the goddess.

Someone who could restore one girl's hair from a near buzz cut to waist length, apparently on a whim.

When Ukyo or Shampoo had competed against each other or against other girls for Ranma, they'd been on a nearly level playing field where the rules were pretty much known. You were facing martial artists and the skill levels were staggered out like so, and the only real wildcards thrown in were Shampoo's use of items like the red string or Kodachi's use of odd poisons and powders.

Shampoo had been briefly turned into a cat without cold water. She could end up *permanently* as a cat if she really annoyed this woman named Bastet.

Now they were faced with yet another strange variable.

"You're looking for Ranma Saotome, because your 'papa-san' made an agreement with Genma Saotome?" Ukyo said, a slight twitch developing.

"Unnn," agreed the perky looking school girl. "Nuku Nuku like this already. Look at the fishie I caught!"

"Shampoo notice fish, is very nice nice," agreed Shampoo.

Said fish looked a lot like a tuna. That it was four times the size of the girl holding it up, having a length of about 18 feet, was noteworthy. That the girl more or less skipped lightly from the shore to the grill with it had been duly noted by both Ukyo and Shampoo.

"Suppose she's another goddess or a superhero?" Ukyo asked Shampoo as the girl dumped the fish where it could be turned into okonomiyaki, also fish strips, fish steaks, fish... it was a big fish.

"There is difference?" Shampoo asked. "I ask Great Grandmama how Amazon Law about sames."

Ukyo waited a moment then decided she might as well bite. "Well, what does Amazon Law say about goddesses?"

"Amazon Law say walk very carefully and be very polite, and pray they go elsewheres very very soon."

Ukyo nodded, seeing a definite logic to that philosophy.

"Where ith that thwoman?! I demandth thee remove this affwiction!" Kuno ran past gesturing dramatically with his bokken and looking thoroughly upset. "How dareth thee bethmirk the royalth Kuno lineth!"

"Not touching that one," said Ukyo as she worked.

---------

"So, uhm," Ami said to the goddess, trying to get her nerve together. "You're Bastet. I mean, THE Bastet."

"Among other names," said the goddess, licking her lips at the smell of roasting fish from various points around the beach.

Ami considered. "Uhm, that is, I mean..."

"Don't worry child. I don't bite. Well, not that often. And then only if you ask REALLY nicely." Bastet sighed happily. The fish here weren't quite like their terrestrial cousins, but they were close. The same physics leading to similarities from one world to another. Some of the land based forms though. "Ah, that must be one of the beetles I'd heard about."

Ami looked down and saw something that looked like a furry crab. "Huh?"

"The most evolved form of life on this planet," said Bastet. "This particular world hasn't had the disasters to force species to adapt to them. The beetles are about at a bird's level of intelligence, adapted to a wide range of habitats, and are scavengers that eat decomposing plant materials."

Ami began scanning with her computer. "What? This has characteristics of mammal and insect!"

"Was there something you wanted?" Bastet asked after the girl was apparently lost in whatever she was reading on her computer.

Ami blinked repeatedly, followed by slumping. "I forgot."

"Oh," said Bastet, "in that case might I suggest we join that group over there with the fish fry?"

--------

The air shimmered and rolled back in a tube shape.

Which, of course, was followed by a large crowd of students, teachers, a nurse, and an Egyptian goddess.

"There they are Officer! Just like I told you," Hiroko said. "I told them not to go, but *they* wouldn't listen!"

The students and faculty found themselves facing one student and one police officer.

The police officer adjusted his white gloves, looked at the group and announced his decision. "You really should let the authorities know when you're going to be leaving the district you know."

Bastet considered. "Ah. In that case, tomorrow we're going to visit Egypt. It'll take at least three days to repair the school."

"Egypt?" This started muttering and chatter within the group, though the policeman frowned.

"It is, after all, a trip of an educational nature," put in Setsuna. "The school nurse will have to go along, just in case there are any injuries."

One of the teachers stepped forward. "And it is clearly in the students' best interest to continue their education despite the damage to the school caused by our dear principal's somewhat outre discipline methods."

Another teacher stepped forward. "In order to properly supervise the, ahem, unique learning opportunities Miss Bastet offers, well, there has to be enough teachers present to uhm..."

"Work crowd control," supplied a third teacher.

"Egypt?" Nabiki said with a gleam. Visions of finding another great tomb full of riches glittered briefly before her.

"Well, either that or Babylon 5, I hear that can be interesting," said Bastet speculatively.

"I see," said the policeman. "I'll have to check with my superiors on this."

-------

Kasumi fixed her father and Mister Saotome with her most disapproving look. "Now Father, remember that absolutely nothing must disturb those wards around Akane before we can get her soul back into her body."

Soun nodded.

"It's very important, Father."

Soun nodded again.

"Those nice goddesses were very insistent on this. Akane could be lost to us forever if they're disturbed."

Soun nodded solemnly.

Kasumi wasn't completely satisfied but couldn't see a way around it. "Then I'll go get my shopping done while you play shogi. And if a not-nice woman named Malfea shows up, you must absolutely not attack her."

"Now is that any way to refer to a major demon? I'm practically crushed."

Soun, Genma, and Kasumi stared at the woman in leather hot pants and not much else.

"Besides, are you two going to listen to the advice of goddesses? They just want to break the Saotome-Tendo union. Those wards are what are keeping Akane asleep." Malfea stated as if it were fact.

"You heard her Saotome!" "Growf!"

Kasumi watched in alarm as the two raced upstairs. "But..."

Malfea faded out to reappear upstairs as the two started ripping up spirit wards. "Fish in a barrel. If I had any shame, I'd be ashamed of myself."

"She's still unconscious?" Soun said after ripping up the last ward.

"You two idiots," said Malfea as she walked in. "Nobody denied I was a demon. I even introduced myself as such. You didn't think I would lie? Now shut up and watch."

Akane's body twisted into a demonic dog-like shape with glowing red eyes.

"Not bad, if I do say so myself," admitted Malfea. "A dog to deal with a cat. A nearly unstoppable engine of destruction that knows only rage. The only way to stop her is to kill her, and without her original body - Akane can't be restored to it."

"Where did you put my sister's soul?" Kasumi asked, entering behind the demoness.

"Hmmm? Oh. You. The braindead two dimensional housewife." Malfea shrugged, she'd have preferred telling someone who would then anguish over it a lot. "She's currently in a pair of panties I left in the stack in that little old geezer's room. Not that it does you any good since reuniting the soul with the body will still leave little Akane here in the form of this monster."

Kasumi nodded. "Oh dear."

Malfea shook her head in disgust. She wanted fear and despair, hate and anguish, loathing and raging. What did she get?

"Akane! Akaneeee!" Soun wept as his youngest daughter, now a slavering werebeast, thrust one arm almost to the elbow into Genma's chest.

Genma fainted as this hurt quite a bit.

Akane backhanded her father, who went through three walls on his way out of the house.

"Go my minion, destroy the city in your rage! Slay all you find!" Malfea commanded.

"I won't let you," said Kasumi, not entirely sure what she could do.

"Yeah, right," said Malfea, dismissing the girl as a serious threat. "Akane. Start with her."

--------

"I don't understand why you'd get nervous about talking with her, she seemed very nice, well except for when she did that to the guy with the wooden sword," said Usagi.

"Usagi!" Ami took a deep breath before continuing, aware of all the Senshi (except the missing Setsuna) listening in. "That was Bastet!"

"Yeah, so?" Usagi blinked, clearly not understanding.

"She's a *goddess*, Usagi. Bastet, or Bast. She was around when Egypt was unified almost *five* millenia ago. She's over five thousand years old. When the temples of Bubastis, her center of worship, had a cat die - the cats were then mummified. Some date as far back as 950 BC! Some sources indicate that cat-worship preceeded the unification, which would mean she was even older than that." Ami was despairing of convincing her friends exactly how over-awed she'd felt and why. "Can you imagine what she's seen - what she's lived through? Even if she's merely five thousand years old, she may have been old enough to see the Minoan trade civilization. To see the Greeks develop philosophy and the Sumerians coinage."

"Okay, so she's old," said Haruka who was not impressed. At a look from Michiru she added a little more. "Still in pretty good shape for that age."

Michiru *and* Ami shook their heads at that.

"Think of the songs, the music, the art - lost to human history but held in her memories," said Michiru softly. "The paeans and songs of ancient Egypt. The epic poems and tales."

"She would have seen the Great Library at Alexandria," said Ami with her eyes practically glowing. "The pyramids and sphinx and their construction."

Artemis thoughtfully added. "She likes cats. Certainly a plus in my book."

Luna frowned, not liking this. Still, she hadn't seen *anything* to indicate that the goddess was actively trying to do something against Crystal Tokyo - and Pluto hadn't been alarmed by the goddess. Still, now what?

Ami's computer beeped. When she read the display she frowned. "I think something went wrong back in Nerima."

--------

Nabiki was whistling happily as she turned the corner and beheld a war zone. She stopped whistling. "Whoa."

Her house looked as if it had been shelled, the front gate was smashed outward, three of the neighbors houses were flattened, and as she watched another house erupted in flames. This last was particularly concerning considering that most homes were made primarily of wood.

There was her father, imbedded in the second story of the Yamani family home.

There was Kasumi, sitting with some woman in a golden ball of light?

"What's happening here?" Nabiki asked, though she was far less polite in her actual wording.

"Kasumi called me," said Hestia. "Now that you understand better, do you accept?"

Kasumi straightened up, checking for nonexistent wounds. When she was done, she knelt. "Yes, Hestia-sama, I will be your avatar."

Nabiki winced as the world seemed filled with white light, and when it was over Kasumi stood there alone but seemed to be looking elsewhere. "Kasumi, are you okay?"

Kasumi smiled and nodded. "Yes, Nabiki, We are quite well."

-------

Malfea gave up watching the amusing amount of mayhem spread by her creation and looked towards the pillar of white light. "Say what?"

This was bad. Very bad. When a goddess, even a goddess second class like Hestia, invested an avatar - it was bad news. At least if you happened to be a demon. An avatar was a mortal channel for the goddess, a fragment of the goddess blending with the human. In essence a demigod had just been born.

Of course, Hestia was the goddess (Greek) of the hearth and housekeeping, so it wasn't terribly concerning. Now if it had been Athena or Amaterasu or one of those other goody-goodies, that might have been another concern.

With a divine connection like that, most of Malfea's usual tricks wouldn't work against Kasumi. Her sisters were vulnerable but that wasn't necessarily an exploitable weakness. A lot of goddesses had the policy of "kill a mortal I'm involved with and you'll only think you've been through Hell" thereafter.

"Red Shadow, continue your path of destruction," said Malfea to her minion. "I have another target to deal with." A demigoddess needed killing.

-------

Of course, if you had a major evil running around, there were those whose job/duty/pleasure it was to hunt it down and kill it. In some cases with extreme prejudice.

"WORLD SHAKING!" Sailor Uranus slammed her attack into the hulking four-armed dog-beast.

"CAT SCRATCH FEVER!"

Sailor Mercury sighed as a catgirl got bounced down the street. "While I can't fault her intentions or desire to help, her application seems to require work."

Sailor Saturn and Sailor Pluto began their joint attack. "Chronos Typhoon!"

The beast howled in anger, bracing itself against the force of the blast and straining forward against it.

"OAK EVOLUTION!" "VENUS LOVE & BEAUTY SHOCK!"

Ryouga Hibiki wandered into a scene straight out of a shojo manga! There, several girls in short skirts. Over there, a four armed dog demon standing nine feet tall. Houses and stores crushed beneath the beast's attacks. Clearly there was only one thing for him to do!

"BURNING Mandala!" Mercury Aqua Rhapsody!"

Ryouga stopped. Oh that's right. In this kind of fight you had to shout your attacks. Some kind of union rule so they knew what side you were on. Not that he read any shojo manga, Heavens no. It must have been in Shonen Jump or something. Hmmm. How about... "HIBIKI BANDANA BLITZKRIEG!" Hmmm. Not bad. Definitely had a ring to it.

Sailor Jupiter looked at the studly young man and immediately thanked heaven she had a plate of cookies nearby. She really needed to check out this part of town more often!

The demon dog pulled itself up, the wounds on its body slowly closing.

"MOON CRYSTAL HEART ATTACK!"

Seeing a giant crystal pink heart shatter itself on the monster, Ryouga decided that there were some special manuevers just too horrible to learn even if it would give him an advantage in a fight with Ranma. Oh sure, if he hit Ranma with something like that it would surprise his old rival. Afterwards though, he'd never live it down. And why was that girl presenting him a tray of cookies?!

-------

Ranma was still struggling with the decision he knew he had to make.

No, he'd have to do the noble thing. He had seen exactly what this new girl had to offer. He had seen how happy she was just to get a smile from him. He knew that taking a relationship with this new girl, even if he just accepted her as a fiancee, was to step into a new big arena. And that others could make the girl far happier than he could.

He had to turn her down for her own good.

Man, this being responsible stuff really could make you feel miserable at times.

"Ah, there you are, Ranma," said Cologne. "I've just been telling your mother about the newest developments here."

Ranma blinked at the sight of his mother. Funny, he felt even worse now.

-------

Nabiki opened her mouth, ready to make any number of potentially rude comments, stopped and pinched the bridge of her nose. She tried again, stopped herself again and shook her head.

Finally she decided to be amused by this. Otherwise she'd have trouble sleeping. "Okay. Let me see if I got this straight. Akane's soul was ripped out of her body, bound to a pair of panties..."

"Rayon. Not like I'd ever collect something like that," said Happosai with a sniff. He was a pervert but he had standards after all.

Everyone glared at Happosai, but as he was in a spirit-ward festooned cage, nobody bothered to attack him.

"If I may continue," said Nabiki. "Thank you. Akane's body was turned into a rampaging monster, was hit by a number of attacks, Kasumi reunited Akane's body and soul, however about 90% of it had been burned off by that time."

"Which might explain why I'm currently six years old," protested Chibi-Akane, "but doesn't explain why this sort of thing happens to me. Isn't this sort of thing only supposed to hit Ranma?"

"Uhm, no," indicated Sailor Pluto. "I just checked the timeline, and rather than go through the Japanese school system a second time, you and Mister Saotome go on a ten year training journey in the martial arts."

"Oh, that's okay then," said Akane, nodding. The concept visibly hit on the third nod. "WHAT?!"

Soun limped up to his old friend. "Saotome. Anything like a pit of cats and..."

"No, nothing like that," agreed Genma, glad to get away before any other problems he'd thought safely buried came washing up around here. Yes, and he could correct all the mistakes he'd made training Ranma. This would be perfect! He'd already heard the details of that Amazon "Breaking Point" technique - he'd start Akane off with that.

Akane thought about it. Maybe they could run into that Forest Of Lost Years and she could be restored there. "What are we waiting for? Let's get started!"

"Oh my, Akane *did* want more training in the martial arts." Kasumi handed her little (now VERY little) sister her backpack.

"What happened to the demon though?" Nabiki asked.

Kasumi smiled at her remaining sister. "Nabiki. Never underestimate the power of a Japanese housewife." *crackle- boom!*

"Nice effect," admitted Nabiki.

Kuno fell out of the tree he'd been hiding in.

"Nice aim," added Nabiki.

---------

Bast sat down and crossed her legs, inspecting her manicure casually.

"So you claim to be a goddess?" Captain Takame asked the foreigner. "Can I see your passport and legal documents?"

Bast handed over a small booklet and an identification card.

"I mean legal documentation for you to be in Japan?" Captain Takame said after glancing at the paperwork.

"I can get ahold of a few Japanese deities, I have verbal permission to operate here," said Bast, still being quite pleasant.

The other officers present merely frowned at the foreigner.

"I'd have to see some proof that you're..." The police captain looked over the documentation.

"Bast. Known also as Bastet. Sometimes Hathor and myself cross-cover, we're fairly close." Bast answered, bored with this already. "You need me to prove that I am indeed who I say I am?"

"Yes, that would be a good start." The police captain had already decided that this foreigner would get deported immediately. The way she was dressed indicated that she was some sort of prostitute.

Bast frowned. "Very well. Ahem. Three character witnesses?"

"I'm afraid more would be needed than some bums off the street to indicate..."

*WHOOOM!* A portal of blue fire formed and an ancient set of samurai armor appeared. "Who dares call Susano a 'bum off the street'!"

*BOOM!* Despite being on the fourth floor, one of the windows shattered as the sunlight thickened into a woman in a formal kimono holding a mirror. "Someone who yet proves that idiocy is not confined to foreigners. Hold on. I'm contacting my descendent."

Seeing the woman gesture and levitate the phone to her hand, Captain Takame considered protesting.

"Ah, Emperor. This is your ancestor, Amaterasu Omikami. Hold on when I teleport you here." The light thickened and produced a figure holding a phone.

Lightning crackled and a figure in white robes appeared. "Who summons Raideen?! Oh, it's you Bastet. What's up?"

"This guy is being a prick," said Bastet, who was a bit of an earthy goddess it should be noted. "All three of you gave permission for me to operate in this area, and deal with the Chinese in your case Raideen. Yet the captain here requires more identification."

Captain Takame rallied. "You're all under arrest!"

The other police officers stared at their captain, whom they had known was an idiot but this was going pretty far even for him!

"Just for your paperwork," said Bastet pleasantly to the young sergeant who'd been taking notes. "My name is Bastet, also known as Bast. My occupation is goddess of cats, sexual pleasure, marriage, and kicking the royal #$!$%@ of scorpions and various undead. Formerly of the city of Bubastis. Age: roughly 12,500 years but a lady never gives her exact age and it wasn't something I've kept track of anyway. Married but seperated, for a few decades at least. Now, I've already cursed some idiot swordsman today. Do one of you others have a suggestion or should I get... creative with the captain?"

"I've an idea," said Amaterasu, looking into her mirror. "Captain Takame here has been taking bribes and using the authority of his office to curry favors from married women in his district."

"You can't prove anything," said the Captain, subtly moving his hands towards the drawer he kept his gun in. It sounded like these foreigners were resisting arrest.

"Who said we needed to?" Amaterasu seemed genuinely puzzled for the moment.

Susano grinned, his god-marks glowing. "Well, since he's a little girly-man..."

--------

"According to my castle, he's registered as my Consort and my bodyguard and.... there he is! Ranma!" Hotaru perked right up on seeing her fiance approach.

"Hematite?" Minako asked, licking her lips.

"...but I keep telling you," protested Setsuna. "Ranma is *not* Hematite. He wasn't present in the Silver Millenium, he does not have Senshi powers, he doesn't even qualify as the typical victim-of-the-week. When you become Queen Serenity you can assign him to the post Hematite held, but they only vaguely resemble each other."

"Uhm, hi," said Ranma, dreading this. For her own good, he had to tell Hotaru not to pursue this engagement.

"This is Hotaru?" Nodoka smiled at the young girl. Ah, a young princess who had her heart set on Ranma! Her son had superheroes and goddesses and other girls pursuing him. So manly was he! It was too bad that Akane hadn't worked out but that was for the better all things considered. Now - just think of the grandchildren!

Cologne beamed at Ranma. This was actually a nice solution as far as she was concerned. Shampoo's honor and reputation wouldn't be lessened, because if she had to lose - it was to a superhero who went out to save the world or a goddess. Having allies in either arena and parting friends with both groups would be a great honor for Shampoo, as well as extraordinarily useful for the tribe. She just loved win-win scenarios, especially when it had been spiralling down into such a mess before this.

"...turning him into a girl? Isn't that awfully cliche?" Bastet said as she walked with a group of friends to the Dojo.

"Maybe, but it's kind of traditional for that kind of pest," said some guy in samurai armor.

"And it *did* establish that we are not common trespassers to be dealt with by his ilk," Amaterasu stressed. "Really. Even in these modern times - politeness should ever be a virtue among the Japanese."

"So that's him?" Minako smiled brightly at the fellow. Even if she *didn't* end up with Ranma, maybe Hotaru getting a boyfriend would break the streak of bad luck they'd all been having in that department!

"They're all foul sorcerers," muttered Tatewaki Kuno in his new squeaky voice.

"Most ominous," said Miyo, checking her Tarot cards again.

"Why are you behaving so well? I'd think you'd be all over those goddesses," asked Nabiki.

"Nabiki, my dear, however poor your opinion of me," said Happosai, "I want you to consider one simple concept. You saw what happened to that Kuno boy? Then consider what they'd do to me if I *really* annoyed them."

"You heard about that?" Nabiki was a little surprised, she'd planned on selling him the story.

"I get around," mysteriously commented Happosai as he sauntered off. He was especially hoping that the sun goddess over there had forgotten about something that occurred a couple of centuries ago.

Ranma cleared his throat and began to speak loudly. "Uhm, everyone. I've got an announcement to make. I've reached a decision on my new fiancee, and the truth is..."

*GLOMP!*

Shampoo held up a sign marked "6.5" while Cologne's read "8.0".

"Glaive Girl do pretty good for first try," said Shampoo to Ukyo.

Nodoka produced a hankerchief and started dabbing at tears. "My son is so manly! Enough to satisfy a princess and superheroine! I'm so proud of you!"

"Huh?!" Ranma said. "No no, wait a minute..."

*Sching!* Haruka somehow turned into Sailor Uranus and drew her Space Sword in a single move. "You did *what* with my little girl?!"

Minako blinked and whistled. "Got a fiance and bedded him in the first day? Wow."

Hotaru blushed heavily and ducked her head. "Actually, no, we just slept together."

Dead silence for a moment.

"Waiii!" cheered Nodoka. "And here I was fearing that you'd turned impotent like your father!"

"Kinda explains why she's so focussed on her son being manly," speculated Nabiki out loud.

"Let go of me, Michiru! He's going to get a Space Sword Blaster where the sun doesn't shine!"

Setsuna cleared her throat and tapped Ranma on the shoulder. "You might want to start running."

Shampoo and Ukyo were clearly having second thoughts.

Nuku Nuku was wondering out loud if Ranma was supposed to sleep with her since she was a fiancee too.

"Excuse me," said a very elegant looking girl as she walked up to the crowd. "I'm looking for a Ranma Saotome? I'm his fiancee from a marriage arranged by his father."

Ranma took that as his cue. He started running. Hotaru wouldn't let go so he was carrying her.

"Yes, my son! Take the initiative and elope with that girl!" Nodoka found some rice somewhere and was throwing it around to bless the couple.

Sailor Uranus gave chase, practically frothing at the mouth.

Sailor Neptune gave chase, hoping to calm Uranus down.

The Senshi gave chase, this was so romantic!

Shampoo and Ukyo gave chase, still trying to sort out their feelings on the matter.

Nuku Nuku gave chase, well, because everyone else was doing it and it seemed like fun!

The new fiancee gave chase, understanding only that her new fiance was already cheating on her. Or something. She wasn't clear on the details.

Half of Nerima seemed to join in. Well, mainly because it seemed to be mandated by the current events.

Except for Principal Kuno, who was already on his way to Hawaii. And Akane and Genma who were already off on a training journey.

Holding Hotaru in his arms, seeing the huge cloud of dust kicked up by the equally huge crowd chasing after him, Ranma could only say one thing about the current situation.

"Why me?"

And somewhere, elsewhere, a mischievous being replied. "Why not?"

===========

well, that's it for Hotaru 1/2. Just an omake that grew out of a haphazard collection of addventure options explored (as stated in chapter one) by myself, Kender_Sci, Greyman, Tag, and a few others. The latter half of chapter one and all of chapter two is my fault entirely.

As for what happened afterwards, and who ended up married to whom...
to paraphrase Bilbo, "and they lived happily ever after, to the end of their days..."