Cat Girl Nuku Nuku Fan Fiction / Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction / Sailor Moon Fan Fiction ❯ Wrong Place Wrong Time ❯ Chapter 3 ( Chapter 3 )

Wrong Place, Wrong Time

Chapter 3

 

 

Disclaimer: I don't own this series or any other series. I am just floating an idea. I am making no money, nor plan to, off this venture. If you think of suing me over this, then grow up.

 

I would like to first personally thank all of those reviewing my stories. I enjoy reading your comments, and try to correct the grammatical errors I miss with my final read-through as well as my spell checkers. The suggestions you all make will help make this story better for everyone to enjoy, as well as allow my to fix some plot holes I may unintentionally leave. If you find any, let me know, and I will correct them and repost the chapters.

 

Please feel free to review, and make comments. If you find a spelling or wordage mistake, feel free to let me know. Thank you.

 

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Author Note: This was originally an Omake File, but feedback I received demanded it be a separate short story.

 

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Omake for Previous Chapter by Kraude:

 

In the early morning, a pack of Nerimaites were following a girl with a laptop computer. The leader of said group with the computer was a tired Nabiki, who had been forced to follow the signal all night.

The others who were following were various fiancées who wanted answers, rivals who wanted proof/revenge, and parents who had wanted answers/wedding/grandbabies.

So, they now approached a lone tent.

“Airen in there, yes?” asked Shampoo.

Nabiki nodded. “Yep, unless he dumped the tracker.”

She literally felt the backlash of wind as the girls raced forward.

Sadly for Ranma's bank account, the girls thought that opening the tent via the zipper would take too much time, so they decided to simply rip it apart.

Gasps were heard as they discovered what was inside.

On the floor of what had once been a very well designed tent, lay a sleeping bag. Inside it was a lone dumpling headed girl with a huge belly, currently chewing on a red pigtail ...

 

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Now back to our usual Innortal Psychosis...

 

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Earlier last night...

 

Usagi was getting worried.

 

She had tried to call Setsuna for a quick teleport home via communicator, but the woman was not responding.

 

Usagi had no idea that said woman was currently tranquilized with enough sedatives to knock out several Senshi, and biting off the tassels off the cozies on Michiru's table doilies, dreaming about making a certain pigtailed boy into a eunuch.

 

Wondering where the dependable one was, Usagi tried to get the other Senshi, but...

 

“Sorry, but this channel is currently being used by the Mercury Computer. Please contact your network administrator to effect repairs if you believe you have received this message in error.”

 

Usagi blinked, not understanding a single word the voice had said. “Okay,” she said.

 

She had to decide what to do. She had no idea if the Senshi communicators could be used to call her folks and ask for a ride—it could, but Usagi was asleep after claiming victory over Mako-chan's cookies, and successfully reading three of Rei's mangas when that had been explained, and she also had no idea where a phone might be for her to call a ride.

 

“Maybe I can just walk home?” she wondered.

 

Sadly, this was not to be.

 

You see, Chaos had not yet forgiven Sailor Moon for stopping Galaxia. He had rather enjoyed his home there.

 

But Earth and more importantly Jusenkyo, offered him more chances to add his style to people's lives.

 

Now, he had been building up a huge storm over Tokyo to change one gender-cursed martial artist, as he had been male for far too long in Chaos's opinion.

 

The fact he had changed moments ago disheartened the being.

 

But it did offer a chance to further add both chaos to Ranma's young life and screw Sailor Moon over some more.

 

So, he caused the storm to make thunder and lightning.

 

Within no-time, the Senshi was quickly inside Ranma's tent, within her sleeping bad, and cuddling said martial artist; deciding the very uncute guy/heartless bitch girl was better to deal with than thunder.

 

Ah, a good day's work, if it said so itself.

 

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This reason was the explanation for why Sailor Moon was currently in the sleeping bag with Ranma, clutching her like a koala bear, and chewing on said girl's pigtail.

 

The fiancées were not amused.

 

One particular repressed fiancée decided to make her unhappiness known to the one who created it.

 

“Sailor Moon, because of you, I've seen hell! Prepare to die!”

 

Now normally, Ranma was excellently conditioned to take every bit of punishment sent his/her way by Akane.

 

No one is quite sure why this is. Some think it was because she was the first person to offer him friendship in almost ten years, while many believe now she was just trying to get into Ranma-chan's pants.

 

Some believe that Ranma saw some spark inside Akane of a pure and good soul. Of course, many discounted that because it was the excuse used by the masochistic Hentai Horde.

 

Those who knew high level martial arts in Nerima truly believed that Akane's hits were too weak to ever hurt Ranma, so he took them just to shut her the hell up.

 

Of course, this was only the case when said anger and rage was directed at him.

 

This rage was directed solely at a Senshi of Love and Justice currently using Ranma's red pigtail for a pacifier.

 

So, in following with Ranma Dogma—Tomboyous 3:14: Thou shalt not let an uncute tomboy striketh an innocent; do so and Kasumi shalt not deliver upon thee food of the divine—Ranma rolled herself, the sleeping bag, and the unwanted baggage to the side of the strike.

 

While this avoided Akane's attempt to send Sailor Moon to the next life, it jostled the sleeping Senshi from her dreams of furry doughnuts to one between her and Tuxedo Kamen: Rated NC-17.

 

Of course, her actions altered Ranma's dreams a bit—no one would let him gloat over Gojita—into one of Kuno chasing her.

 

“Damn it, Kuno,” she muttered, “stop grabbin' them. They ain't yours to play with.”

 

“WHAT?”

 

Guess who screamed that.

 

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“Why won't you just leave me alone?” whined Ranma, fresh from changing back to male, and massaging the bruises on his pecs. You'd think with her being a girl, she'd know not to squeeze them so much.

 

Sailor Moon blushed. It had not been the best moment in her life when she realized exactly why those cinnamon buns wouldn't come off the shelf. “But you told me not to leave your side!” she cried.

 

“That was when the others were trying to kill you,” said Ranma, still wondering not only why Kasumi had been dressed like that, but also why she had been attacking Sailor Moon as well, muttering about how compacts were nowhere near as good as full-sized sedans.

 

“Oh.”

 

Ranma sighed as he stuffed his new tent inside his personal subspace pocket. It had really ticked him that the old one had been ripped apart by the fiancées, as it had been with him for a long time.

 

Hey, a three month period is a long time in Nerima.

 

And warranties didn't exactly cover psychotic females as a reason for acceptable tent destruction.

 

Man; and I was hoping to save up for those nice platinum bracers.

 

“Now what?” she asked.

 

“Well, you could just get the hell away from me and go to your own damn home!” yelled Ranma. He was beginning to wonder if all magical girls had this lost puppy syndrome. Saved her once and she won't leave me alone!

 

Sailor Moon was about to yell at him when her stomach made itself known, thus reinitializing Usagi's Top Ten list of things of Immediate Concern.

 

Number one was finding food.

 

Mom made food.

 

Then you should go to her.

 

Yes, fooooooooooooooood.

 

Sailor Moon never did question that voice in her head.

 

As she darted off via rooftop, Ranma sighed as he began to make his way back to Nerima. He figured by the time he arrived, Nuku Nuku would be finished with her Delivery-off with Shampoo—ignoring the fact that Shampoo had been among his tent-home-invaders—that maybe she and Dr. Natsume would put up with him for the day.

 

After all, he did love to play in fighting as much as Nuku Nuku did. And the Professor was always happy that Nuku Nuku had friends who had more property damage attributed to them than her.

 

“Damn it, why does this sort of shit keep happening to me?”

 

Really, he kept asking that like he expected an answer.

 

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“Shampoo think pervert girl too too trigger-happy.”

 

Akane could forgive a lot in her pursuit of Ranma-chan.

 

Shampoo—despite being the star of a few of those very wet dreams—was not one of them.

 

Cologne's staff to the head prevented another wrecked subway car being attributed to the Nerima Wrecking Crew—Japanese Self Defense Force designation. And to be honest, the 300-year-old Amazon was tired of being pulled in during business hours for questioning, interviews, and attempts to design new weapons to defeat Godzilla.

 

Damn New Yorkers scared him back there after they had finally gotten rid of the giant destroyer of poor neighborhoods and empty buildings.

 

“Really child,” said Cologne, “did you believe that Ranma would simply let you kill the girl?”

 

“Like I care what the pervert wants,” grumbled Akane.

 

Kasumi just sat in the car, fuming. Occasionally, a pervert would try to fondle her, only to be beaten off with a wooden spoon that was hardened with ki to be nearly as deadly as a bat. She had spent hours formulating a plan to bring Ranma back to the big-busted side of the Force, only to have the actions of the fiancées damage what progress she had made.

 

As such, she was beginning to make plans to correct this oversight.

 

I will have to kill them all, I realize that now.

 

No one ever claimed it was a sane choice, let alone that all those years as a domestic servant hadn't damaged Kasumi's mind.

 

“Sugar,” asked Ukyo, “can you track Ranchan again?”

 

Nabiki sighed. “I would, if someone hadn't put a huge ass mallet through my computer!” she screamed at Akane.

 

“It wasn't me!”

 

“See anyone else around here that uses mallets?”

 

Mario stayed quiet. Damn Donkey Kong was still haunting him all these years later.

 

Needless to say, Akane was about to receive a bill of the Dell Computer kind.

 

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“WHO IS HE?” yelled Kenji Tsukino as Usagi staggered into her home.

 

“Huh?”

 

Usagi, not being the brightest bulb in the chandelier, or the recycle bin for broken light bulbs, had neglected many things about her late return; such as how to explain it.

 

“WHO IS THE LOUT WHO KNOCKED UP MY DAUGHTER?”

 

He was soon sent to slumber land by his loving wife and a rolling pin.

 

“Dear,” said Ikuko, her smile strained and her eyebrows twitching, “we need to talk.”

 

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“Friend Ranma!” cried the Android Cat Girl as she glomped onto Ranma in a completely friendly and non-psychotic fiancée manner.

 

“Hey, Nuku,” said Ranma, hugging her back.

 

For those not familiar with such a scene, Ranma could return affection to those who gave it when it would not result in imminent pain and suffering for him.

 

Basically, just his mother, Nuku Nuku, and the occasional Girl Scout selling cookies.

 

He loved cookies, especially Thin Mints.

 

“Friend Ranma,” she said, letting go of the hug that would have killed lesser men—her Father never did mention to her that he had had to bury Superman in the backyard—“why did you not tell me that you were expecting kittens?”

 

“HUH?” he gasped. Not at the cat reference-he expected them from Nuku Nuku—but the fact he was expecting kittens ... er, babies.

 

Nuku Nuku decided that her friend had obviously missed the news report, and took him inside to show him.

 

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“So, Usagi,” said Ikuko, her husband still out cold on the floor, her son at school, and her finger holding the fortieth cigarette she'd smoked since her daughter had missed curfew, “where were you?”

 

“Um ...” said Usagi. Now, she was at least smart enough to know she couldn't tell them the truth. That might get her in trouble and allow her mother to learn she was Sailor Moon.

 

Evil leaders like Beryl were scary; her Mother was down right frightening beyond several Shikima with a few demons from the lowest pits of hell and a Republican.

 

“Well,” said Ikuko. She waited patiently for her delinquent daughter to speak. She was already in a foul mood from her husband's rants about what might have happened to her daughter.

 

“Um, I was hanging out and stuck with Ranma Saotome when some upset people charged him, thinking I was Sailor Moon.”

 

Ikuko fought not to laugh. Really, her daughter being confused with Sailor Moon? That was like confusing American president Bush with intelligence. It just wasn't plausible.

 

“So,” said Ikuko, trying to put this as delicately as possible, and forgetting her daughter had no grasp of innuendo, “you're now in the ... same boat ... as Sailor Moon?” she asked, remembering those photos on the news last night of Ranma standing beside an obviously pregnant Sailor Moon.

Usagi—who had no clues about said pictures, their broadcast, or her love's current situation that would soon escalate to him becoming Most Loved Bitch on Cell Block A, nodded in the affirmative, thinking that it would ease her problems.

 

Once again, the author has to wonder how many would willingly die during the Great Freeze if this woman was left in charge.

 

Ikuko sighed. She really didn't want Nodoka Himura, now Saotome, as a relative. While the woman was supposed to be the heir to both the Kamiya Kasshin style as well as the dreaded Hiten Mitsurugi style, the woman had absolutely zero abilities with the sword, aside from the finishing strike of seppuku.

 

Of course, the woman was mostly popular with the boys on campus for her ... other talents. She had ... dated ... the captains of the soccer team, baseball team, debate team...

 

Basically, Nodoka Himura was like a grade school sports team: everyone got a turn.

 

Of course, the ways she dumped them often left them scarred for life. Soun Tendo; captain of the school's Martial Arts team was turned from a bright, hardworking man into an emotional wreck. Goucho Kuno; head of the school's business club and heir to Kuno Industries, was driven mad when Nodoka dumped him for “failing to be manly in bed”.

 

I hope those people got better.

 

Seeing her mother trudge off and open the phone book, Usagi wiped a bit of sweat from her brow, thanking whatever gods or demons watching over her for sparing her from her mother's wrath. She ran upstairs to take a quick bath and head to bed.

 

Sleep good.

 

Thinking ... bad!

 

As such, she missed her mother's tears as the woman finally made contact with Nodoka “7/11” Saotome.

 

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Ranma sighed from the roof of the Natsume household. As he sat back against the tiles, staring into the partly cloudy sky, he could only come to one conclusion.

 

His life sucked. It sucked long, and it sucked hard.

 

Okay, he would admit it was partially his fault for even helping out the Senshi. He should have learned his lesson from helping Nuku Nuku and left well enough alone, or at least used the Umisenken to stay hidden.

 

But no, he had to do the right thing.

 

Damn him.

 

And now thanks to that damned maid, the world thought he had snuck into the hotel to pamper his pregnant girlfriend Sailor Moon.

 

“Maybe I should leave Tokyo for a century or three,” he muttered. “Just until things calm down.”

 

He looked up towards the heavens. “Don't you have anyone else to screw around with?” he screamed towards the sky.

 

That very same sky opened up and drenched him, changing him to Ranma-chan.

 

“Damn it,” she muttered as she went inside to hang out some more with Nuku Nuku.

 

Maybe her Father could arrange for some travel to America. He heard the guy had a friend named Dr. Theodore Diggers who was looking for some assistants. Surely that job had to be safer for him than what he was going through now.

 

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Nodoka was happy.

 

Nodoka was getting two grandchildren in a few months.

 

Skip, Nodoka, skip.

 

Sure, she knew she had been hoping on a long shot that Sailor Moon was actually pregnant. But since said girl didn't deny it, but had in fact made out with her son on national television, Nodoka had suspected that they had been together on several occasions.

 

The picture just proved it.

 

Add to that that her old acquaintance and old prude friend Ikuko had called her, claiming that Nodoka's son had knocked up her daughter, just made the woman's day.

 

“Nice to know that the daughter doesn't have her knees locked like her mother does.”

 

Not to say that Ikuko and Nodoka didn't have their moments, but it was more likely that Ikuko hadn't remembered those moments.

 

“Oh well, the dear never could hold her liquor.”

 

Nodoka quickly moved off the old relationships she had had with her former college roommate, and onto the matter at hand.

 

Her son had wooed two women into his bed and given her grandchildren.

 

None of those women were his current fiancées.

 

Therefore, they would have to accept being mistresses, like Sailor Moon would have to, since the woman had yet to come forward to her and demand her manly son marry her.

 

So, she headed off to the Tendo Dojo to claim her son, and hustle him to the Cherry Hill Shrine so that he could marry Usagi Tsukino before the girl began to show her pregnancy.

 

After all, even Ikuko had admitted at least the boy was a better choice than Usagi's current boyfriend.

 

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Mamoru dodged yet another punch and returned a kick to the man's side, producing the sound of a few ribs cracking.

 

The Kamen was under duress, as a few prisoners didn't take to the man's obvious dislike of homosexuals, hiding it by claiming that Tuxedo Kamen was straight.

 

Really, that had to be the poorest cover in the world—in their opinions—for hiding a clearly anti-gay mindset.

 

Mamoru however was beginning to sweat a bit. Where were his friends, his fiancée, and his guardians?

 

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Setsuna snorted awake, as the world came back to her, the drugs finally leaving her system.

 

She mentally reminded herself to express her concerns about her treatment with the other Senshi ... with excessive violence and plenty of pain, suffering, and ongoing revenge throughout the future.

 

Already, she had ideas of several crazy and deluded men she could happen to “remember” past life engagements with, that would sadly have to be carried out for the good of Crystal Tokyo.

 

With the efforts of a quick teleport, she got out of her restraints, and spent a few hours at the Gates of Time to flush out the residual drugs in her system, before returning to Earth.

 

Of course, she immediately went back into a rampage after checking the answering machine, finding an invite from Ikuko Tsukino to her daughter's wedding that afternoon to Ranma Saotome.

 

Transforming back into Sailor Pluto, she quickly transformed even further to her Eternal Form, and teleported off to kill Ranma Saotome before he could further ruin her planned future for humanity.

 

So enraged, she forgot to find a way to first find Ranma before the impromptu wedding.

 

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Ranma, shivering as an evil chill ran down his back, was already halfway to the Tendo Dojo, with the promise of Dr. Natsume that by the time Ranma returned that he'd already have that internship with Dr. Diggers.

 

Even Nuku Nuku was coming with him. But Ranma thought that had to do more with the damages incurred by her fights with Eimi than anything else; as he doubted the good doctor could afford to constantly repair the areas from all their sparring matches.

 

So, Ranma had an out, and knew he'd be safe since no one would assume he had left Japan to get away from them. Hell, he might even be able to finish High School and get his diploma.

 

Of course, said chill of evil revisited his back, making the man doubt he'd ever be free of this life.

 

As he approached his soon to be former home, he had to smile. His Mother was standing in front of the doors, prepared to knock on it.

 

Yeah, Mom can come with me! I'm sure she'd be okay with me leaving for a bit!

 

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In the heavens, Chaos laughed. Sometimes, his job was just too easy.

 

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Omake by Wargiver:

 

[At the Cherry Hill Shrine]

Minako looked at the others, and with nods all around they agreed. "So we agree that this was the plan all along. That Usagi used Mamoru, who we all agree is gay, as a distraction while she was secretly dating and sleeping with the Stud Horse."

Makoto interrupted, "You mean Ranma, the Wild Horse."

Ami counters, "No stud is appropriate," while speaking, she never takes her eyes of the picture she purchased off of a dealer at Furinkan High.

Rei punches her fist high into the air, "Damn it meatball head, because of you I haven't dated in months. I've seen hell because of you!"

With that they all gather instruments of blunt pain. Ami grabs a mallet, Minako grabs a gymnastics whip, Makoto grabs an oversized tennis racket (from that time her school played against Furinkan's Martial Arts Tennis), and Rei grabbed a pair of bats.

Eternal Sailor Pluto teleports in and sees them reading the weapons of mass trauma. "Good you are all ready, let's go correct this problem." The Senshi present agree, while Pluto means mass damage to Ranma, the MWC want-a-be fiancées prepare to take out their anger on their evil, plotting, leader.

As they teleport to Nerima, Tendo Dojo to unleash their wrath, Rei's Grandfather walks in. "Where did Rei go? The Wedding is going to be in an hour, and I need her help! Perhaps Professor Natsume will send his daughter here to help, she is such a nice girl!"