Cat Girl Nuku Nuku Fan Fiction / Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction / Sailor Moon Fan Fiction ❯ Wrong Place Wrong Time ❯ Chapter 4 ( Chapter 4 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: Innortal 
Can it get worse? It can when parents collide.
Anime/Manga: Cat Girl Nuku Nuku Fan Fiction / Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction / Sailor Moon Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: Crossover | Uploaded On: 05.05.2006 | Pages: 14 | Words: 10.2K | Visits: 1.9K | Status: Work In Progress
Can it get worse? It can when parents collide.
Anime/Manga: Cat Girl Nuku Nuku Fan Fiction / Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction / Sailor Moon Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: Crossover | Uploaded On: 05.05.2006 | Pages: 14 | Words: 10.2K | Visits: 1.9K | Status: Work In Progress
Wrong Place, Wrong Time
Chapter 4
Disclaimer: I don't own this series or any other series. I am just floating an idea. I am making no money, nor plan to, off this venture. If you think of suing me over this, then grow up.
I would like to first personally thank all of those reviewing my stories. I enjoy reading your comments, and try to correct the grammatical errors I miss with my final read-through as well as my spell checkers. The suggestions you all make will help make this story better for everyone to enjoy, as well as allow my to fix some plot holes I may unintentionally leave. If you find any, let me know, and I will correct them and repost the chapters.
Please feel free to review, and make comments. If you find a spelling or wordage mistake, feel free to let me know. Thank you.
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Author Note: This was originally an Omake File, but feedback I received demanded it be a separate short story.
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The Senshi of Saturn sat with her friends, arguing about the message they had all received.
Usagi was pregnant.
Ranma Saotome was the Father.
Ikuko was having them married today.
“WAH! WHY DOES DUMPLING HEAD GET ALL THE CUTE GUYS?”
The rest of the Inners were not amused.
“Hey, I always suspected she swung that way.”
“Haruka, dear, you suspect every female swings that way.”
The Outer couple was very happy.
“HE MUST DIE!”
Setsuna was mildly upset.
But what were little Hotaru's feelings on this?
Well, after careful consideration, and making and both proving and disproving several scientific theories—as well as consulting a magic 8-ball, a ouija board, and her favorite phone psychic from Nerima—Hotaru had come to the conclusion that this was obviously the early arrival of Chibi-Usa; her bestest friend in the whole wide world.
Now, while it was now slightly less creepy to the Senshi of Destruction how Usa had always been hitting on Mamoru—where is he anyway?—that also meant that soon she and Hotaru would be hanging out again.
“We must stop the wedding!” cried out Setsuna.
“Why again?” said Haruka. “At least this husband can actually fight.”
“How do you know?” growled out Setsuna.
Haruka walked over to the television, grabbing a large stack of DVDs; all labeled Ranma Uncut. “I got all his greatest fights on DVD!” she proclaimed happily.
“If you like the guy so much,” muttered Rei, still upset that she had broken up with Mamoru because he was supposed to be King Endymion, “why don't you marry him?”
Haruka shrugged. “He's never asked.”
Everyone stared for a few moments, as they rebooted their minds from the simple fact that Haruka ... respected a guy.
“WHAT?”
“Hey,” said Haruka, “the guy's got skill, style, ain't afraid to actually get into a fight with anyone, and is one of the best martial artists of our generation.”
Makoto snorted. “Sure, and the fact that Setsuna said he turns into a hot little female redhead at the drop of cold water doesn't have anything to do with this.”
“Well ... maybe.”
“Haruka,” growled out Michiru. “We are not bringing other people into our sex life.”
“No, you said other women,” corrected Haruka, actually believing that her weird logic would work in her favor—not unlike a certain part-time panda, “you never said no gender cursed males.”
“Great,” paled Minako, “we're losing men to lesbians now.”
“THIS IS ALL USAGI'S FAULT!” cried Rei, needing someone to blame for her lack of a dating life.
Hotaru paled. Not only was her Setsuna-mama trying to get Usa raised in a broken home—which could explain some of the younger girl's quirks—but Haruka-papa and the Inners were trying to obviously steal Usa's father for their own perverted whims.
And she knew exactly how perverted these whims could be. All one needed to do was visit the M&M (Minako and Makoto's) website. She didn't know what was on this website, but Haruka-papa was always checking it out and chuckling, so it had to be perverted.
So; disappearing from the meeting, Hotaru transformed into Sailor Saturn. She was a Senshi on a mission: to ensure her best friend was born, and was raised in a happy and complete home. To do this, she had to ensure that the wedding went off without a hitch.
Man; helping friends out is tough work.
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“And you see, Mom,” said Ranma as he stuffed the last of his clothes into the backpack, “that's why I have to leave Japan for a few centuries.”
For the last fifteen minutes, Ranma had been explaining his current situation to his Mother, where he was currently staying, and what he would be doing soon afterwards. He left quiet that he was hoping that America would be a place he could go without the chaos following him.
He didn't know that Chaos was currently learning English; including phrases like “there's the pervert” and “let's hit him with cold water.”
Nodoka, however, was still envisioning the two grandchildren her son was supposed to have provided her. So, it was understandable that she had missed his entire explanation for his current troubles; much of which was her own fault in the first place.
“Well, I gotta go, Mom,” said Ranma as he hefted his backpack. “I'll call you when I get to the Diggers' house.”
Nodoka finally snapped out of her stupor. “The what? Where? Why?”
Sighing at the fact his time was running short, Ranma once again explained what was going on, where the fiancées and family were, and why he was leaving Japan.
Suffice to say, Nodoka was not amused. “I'm afraid you can't leave quite yet,” said Nodoka.
“Um, why?” he asked, not seeing a problem. After all, he had explained how Sailor Moon had just ruined his life, and he needed to leave before the others could get back.
“Well, while I am saddened that you did not give me grandchildren by being manly with Sailor Moon,” she said, accepting that as a reason why the super heroine did not seek Ranma's hand in marriage or Nodoka's help in raising her child, “you still must accept responsibility for what has occurred between you and Usagi Tsukino.”
Ranma blinked. I don't know a Usagi, do I? He knew his memory of faces and names were pretty poor. “Um, who's she, Mom?”
“Why, she's the nice girl currently carrying your child.”
Ranma fell to the ground onto his rear. “How?”
Nodoka blinked, figuring he would at least remember that. Ah, my son has been manly with too many women lately to remember how he granted me one. He must be so manly; he doesn't have time to remember their faces. “Well son, she's the daughter of my old college roommate, who told her mother that you knocked her up with my grandchild.”
Ranma wanted to cry. Now girls he had never even met were making claims on him. Why does this shit keep happening to me?
Chaos smiled. Maybe losing Galaxia wasn't all that bad after all.
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Usagi smiled as she skipped downstairs to eat lunch. She was having a wonderful day. Birds were singing, the air smelled like bacon, and she had had the very naughty dream of Mamoru where they had a picnic in the park.
Hell, Luna hadn't even woken her. This was turning into a great day.
This haze of happiness is perhaps why she missed the sight of her scowling father and mother at the table when she arrived, instead choosing to dig into the food.
“Usagi?”
The eating machine of Juuban stopped mid-sucking of the food, as she looked at her parents.
Her haze of happiness soon turned into a mire of despair. “Um, yes?”
“I'm only going to ask this once,” said Ikuko. “Did you sleep with Ranma Saotome?”
Usagi blinked. “Yeah, I had to.”
“What?” growled out Kenji, as he was stopped from exploding in rage by his wife's hand ... which was holding the rolling pin.
“Well, I sort of stayed with him when his admirers showed up, and he got me out of harm's way. But then we were away from everyone, and he was going to camp in the park.”
“And he didn't bring you home?” asked Ikuko.
“There weren't any phones there?” asked Kenji.
“Nope,” Usagi said.
“Why didn't he bring you back here?”
“It was late and the trains had stopped running.”
“So you stayed with him in the park?”
“Yep,” said Usagi, not seeing anything wrong with this. “And when I realized I was stuck, I ... um ...” she said, not wanting to admit she was still afraid of thunder, as she wanted to be seen as grown-up, “he let me stay with him in his tent, so we slept together.”
“BASTARD!” cried Kenji, seeing the truth; that the obviously man-whore had lured his sweet and gentle daughter there for the soul purpose of having his wicked way with her.
Sadly, he would not share these thoughts with his wife for several more hours, as his outburst quickly earned him a time out of the rolling pin kind.
“Now dear,” said Ikuko as she tossed the broken kitchen implement aside, “you do realize what this means?”
“Of course,” said Usagi, nodding her head. “Um ... what does this mean?”
Ikuko sighed. “It means you'll have to marry Ranma now. I won't have a bastard child born in this house.”
Usagi blinked. “WHAT?” she screamed.
“You slept with him, so now you have to marry him.”
Usagi could only stare, her mind unable to fathom what her mom was talking about.
“Now if you'll excuse me,” said Ikuko, “I need to finalize the details with Mr. Hino. He's graciously allowed us to perform the ceremony over at the Shrine.
“You know, I always thought you were smarter than this, Usagi,” said her Mother. “But I will help you with the child. You'll still need to finish school.”
As she was left alone—her Father could not be counted as being present since he was mentally offline at the moment.
“How the fuck did this happen?”
Great debating skills, huh folks.
The line to freeze to death during the Great Freeze forms behind me.
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The Tendos and one panda sighed as they returned to the Dojo.
Kasumi made her way into the kitchen, knowing the other fiancées would return soon in the hopes that Nabiki's backup laptop would be able to track Ranma.
Let's see. Bleach?
No, Akane made Ranma's meatloaf with that.
Rat poison?
No, she made his chicken soup with that yesterday.
She was currently trying to find a way to permanently remove the fiancées from her epic quest to retrieve Ranma to the true big breasted side of the Force.
Akane was pissed that her Ranma-chan was sleeping around with other women.
Now, while that might be allowed in their marriage—with Akane's lone permission of course—Akane knew that it was just sick and perverted for her Ranma-chan to be doing it ... as a guy.
Nabiki was mentally tabulating her bill that would be passed to each of those who had been party to her destroyed laptop. Needless to say, promissory notes would need to be signed.
The two Fathers returned to what they did best: sat, cheated at Shogi, and drank sake while bitching about Ranma.
If any had bothered to look on the table, they would have found two notes.
One was from Ranma, saying he was heading from Nerima for a training mission.
He didn't think they needed to know that he was heading for Tokyo Airport to head to Georgia.
The second was from his Mother, stating her son was getting married in a few hours.
Hers included a long and detailed description—including several artist renderings—of the honeymoon her son would be having with Usagi.
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“Um,” said Grandfather Hino as he stared at the Senshi with the pole arm, “do you really need to be here?”
Saturn nodded. “Ranma and Usagi are meant to be together. And as a warrior of Love and Justice, I must ensure they are wedded as such.”
“Right,” said Hino, as he slowly backed away from the crazy woman with the weapon. Kami-sama, let me just get those two married quickly.
Walking quickly inside, he went over the ceremony, wondering which parts he could cut out to speed things up.
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Usagi, meanwhile, was only digging her grave deeper and deeper.
“I don't understand, Mom,” said Usagi. “I mean, we've only slept together once.
“I mean, I've slept plenty of times with Naru, Rei, I slept that one time with Mamoru. Then there was Minako, and that one time Makoto really needed me to stay over, and...”
Ikuko opened her fourth carton of cigarettes as Usagi kept rattling off names. She and Ranma had to be switched at birth. That's the only explanation. I mean, she's nailing more people than Nodoka!
Look, Usagi's helping.
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“So you see,” said Nodoka, “Ranma will need to be able to clear it first with my good friend Ikuko, before he can go to America for that internship.”
Dr. Natsume sighed. “And you are certain your son is having a child with Ms. Tsukino?
Nuku Nuku gasped. “Friend Ranma said he was not having kittens!”
“Who are you dear?” asked Nodoka.
“Am Nuku Nuku, am best friend of Friend Ranma!” cheered the android cat girl.
Nodoka smiled. “And are you sleeping with my manly son as well?”
Nuku Nuku nodded, much to the ire of her Father, who knew how poor the android cat girl's grasp on undertones in statements were. “Ranma sleep with Nuku Nuku all the time!”
Ranma paled at that. Damn you, whoever is doing this to my life!
“WAH! MY SON'S SO MANLY! I'm getting more grandbabies!”
Ranma turned to Dr. Natsume, fear and silent pleas for help apparent on his face.
Dr. Natsume wanted to help. He really and truly did.
But as he saw Nodoka begin to do back flips around the living room with Nuku Nuku in her arms, further adding to the fire by explaining to Nuku that Nodoka was now expecting grand kitte—children, the smile on his android daughter's face was too much for the man to take away.
No, what father could take away his daughter's joy.
Well, Dr. Diggers did say she would fit in very well. And if Ranma will be her boyfriend, it would help matters more for her.
Ah, if only every father was this understanding.
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“Why we no follow big pervert, crying man, and stupid panda?” asked Shampoo.
“Simple,” said Nabiki, holding up Nodoka's note. “Because we know where he'll actually be.”
“How could Ranchan marry another girl besides his beloved cute fiancée?” bellowed Ukyo.
“How dare that bitch think she could marry another girl other than me,” growled Akane.
Kasumi smiled. “Do we know where this wedding is, little sister?” So far, she had yet to have the time to make any murderous cookies. Sighing, she resigned herself to using pressure points to remove the fiancées from play.
It wasn't permanent, but it would keep them out of her hair while she showed Ranma why bigger was always better.
“I'm trying,” growled Nabiki, “but someone keeps yanking my computer from me demanding to know what I've found.”
“Sorry,” said Kasumi. Really, how long did they expect her to wait?
Cologne put down the note. “A good read, nice plot, and very imaginative style. This is easily one of Nodoka's better plot scripts.”
“Huh?” asked Shampoo. “What mean?”
Cologne cackled. “Simple dear child. What do you think that she has been doing to pay her way through life?”
Kasumi smiled. “She always told us she was doing what she enjoyed.”
Cologne nodded. “She writes for porn videos.”
The girls all stared, asking the question everyone was thinking.
“You mean that stuff has a plot?”
Okay, the question everyone but Akane was thinking.
“And how would you know?' asked Nabiki, pushing away fearful images of 300-year-old Amazons involved in the erotica industry.
“Simple,” said Cologne, bringing out several DVDs from her sleeve. “She gave me these for Shampoo to have pointers in seducing son-in-law.”
“Aiyah!” Shampoo claimed, grabbing the DVDs, before her face scowled. “Shampoo no black, no is Airen. How this help?”
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Ranma sat on the rear porch of the shrine, a certain dumpling-headed girl at his side. Nodoka, Ikuko, Dr. Natsume, Grandfather Hino, and Nuku Nuku were currently inside, discussing the upcoming nuptials between the two children, as Sailor Saturn ensured they did not flee.
“You just couldn't leave well enough alone, could you,” said Ranma, shooting sakura leaves as they neared him, by using small Möko Takabishas at them. “You just had to pull me down with you.”
“This isn't my fault,” said Usagi.
“Who told them you were pregnant?” asked Ranma.
“We did sleep together.”
“We slept, we didn't have sex,” muttered Ranma.
He turned to face her, a random Möko Takabisha accidentally nailing a screaming child, shutting him up, and causing his mother to make more offerings to the gods. “Ever since I met you, my life's been nothing but hell.”
“Don't you like me?” asked Usagi. She couldn't fathom people hating her.
“Fuck no!” said Ranma.
Unfortunately, their fight was ended by a very sharp pole arm.
“Now,” said Sailor Saturn in a very unemotional tone, “you two will provide this child with a very happy home. Do I make myself clear?”
“Very!” squeaked Usagi. Man; Saturn's scary like Rei.
“Kill me now,” said Ranma, standing up, arms and legs spread, welcoming death.
He got the flat side of the Silence Glaive across the top of his head, knocking him out.
Usagi sat back down as Saturn returned to her position. She wasn't too worried. Soon, Mamoru would arrive, proclaim his love, and then they'd go off into the sunset like all those romance movies said they would.
Hmm, where is Mamoru anyway?
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Mamoru sighed as the hot shower soothed his aching muscles. Why do so many prisoners think Tuxedo Kamen is gay?
He had spent the majority of the day fighting for his life, as anti-Mamoru prisoners attacked him. His trial had been pushed back, and he was stuck in here for a bit longer.
But he wasn't worried. These battles had revived his fighting spirit. They had taught him the value of truly standing up for what you believed in. When I find Usagi after I get released...
WHAM!
I'll take a nap.
Soon, he fell to the shower room floor.
“God,” said Kei, “I hope I didn't hurt him too bad.”
“Never mind that,” said Ukon, “we need to get him ready for the wedding.”
“I can't believe our little Eiichi is getting married. It seems like only yesterday he was punking me out for cigarettes.”
Ukon sighed. “That was yesterday.
“Now get his legs. His wedding's in a few hours.”
Well, Usagi and Mamoru always wanted to get married.
Of course, their initial plans were to each other.
Oh well.
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Chaos returned from the bathroom, a fresh pair of pants on after witnessing Mamoru's impending nuptials. Ah, who said the afterlife was boring?
Sadly, he was left with one question: where were the suitors?
Checking his viewer, he finally found them. They had sadly followed Ryoga, intent on gaining vengeance against Ranma for hurting their loves by sleeping with another girl.
As such, they had wound up in the Eiken reality, and thus would never be heard from again in this story.
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Omake by Shinji_the_good_sharer:
"Simple," said Cologne, bringing out several DVDs from her sleeve. "She gave me these for Shampoo to have pointers in seducing son-in-law."
"Aiyah!" Shampoo claimed, grabbing the DVDs, before her face scowled. "Shampoo no black, Airen no read bible. How this help?" Shampoo looked to the next DVD and got even more confused. "Airen know soul of ice, how cold machines seduce Airen?"
Kasumi paled looking at her stolen Bible Black and Cool Devices DVDs. 'Damn, I KNEW it was Nodoka stealing my porn! How does she expect me to keep up this whole housewife thing if I can't get my jollies?!!!"
"Aiyah!" Shampoo claimed, grabbing the DVDs, before her face scowled. "Shampoo no black, Airen no read bible. How this help?" Shampoo looked to the next DVD and got even more confused. "Airen know soul of ice, how cold machines seduce Airen?"
Kasumi paled looking at her stolen Bible Black and Cool Devices DVDs. 'Damn, I KNEW it was Nodoka stealing my porn! How does she expect me to keep up this whole housewife thing if I can't get my jollies?!!!"
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Omake by Wargiver:
Kasumi made her way into the kitchen, knowing the other fiancées would return soon in the hopes that Nabiki's backup laptop would be able to track Ranma.
Let's see. Bleach?
No, Akane made Ranma's meatloaf with that.
Rat poison?
No, she made his chicken soup with that yesterday.
"I need something special, hmmm"
Kasumi thought for a moment. She realized that she would need help from her minion. The one she usually used for all her dirty work after he appeared. The others all believed he just respected her, she always found that amusing.
"Grandfather, can you help me with something?"
Happosai paled momentarily, before turning to the kitchen and with a steady voice replied, "Coming Kasumi-chan."
As he bounded into the house he hopped past his cowering students, 'Cowards, they have learned nothing of what I taught.'
As he entered the kitchen he looked at Kasumi, in her current outfit. If it were not for all himself control, little as it was, he would be suffering needlessly knowing Kasumi. He still didn't know how she managed to get Tofu's boxers, and hem them into panties and hide them in his room without his notice. That was one surprise Happosai was more then happy to not repeat.
"What can I do for you sweet Kasumi-chan?"
Kasumi looked at the troll before her; she knew that she had him in ways he didn't know. He was useful but only controlled. It was always fun to organize those mobs to attack him as well.
"I need something to remove several problems, but I need it to look like someone else did it. After all I do not wish to take credit for the joy it will bring."
'Who's joy?' He thought sarcastically. "What kind of problems Kasumi-chan?" he asked with false enthusiasm.
"Oh my! Nothing much, just a few pests. The kind that make it difficult to live with. Like ones that untidy a kitchen, ruin dinners, pop-up in front of people and cause trouble in a normally quiet home." Kasumi said with her usual smile.
'I see; she wants to get rid of someone, or rather some ones. But she is out of poison. Probably from Akane feeding it to Ranma. Ah my sweet Ranma-chan, at this rate she will be immune to anything.' His mind ran, with that thought until he noticed Kasumi's mouth slipping from its smile. "I might have something for you Kasumi-chan. It's almost useless to me, but it should do the trick. It can banish any pest to a place it deserves the most. Sadly it requires a woman to cast."
"Now it wouldn't be an Amazon Artifact now would it?" Kasumi frowned. She was worried, if the Amazons knew of it, it might hurt her plans.
Happosai looked at her and shook his head rapidly, an upset Kasumi was dangerous, a pissed Kasumi, could scare a Kami. He knew; he saw it happen twice. "No no, nothing like that. If they knew about this they would likely never have used it anyway. They would likely just destroy it. Anything the Amazons cannot use to their advantage, or would hinder them in any way they destroy without taking hesitation. And with Jusenkyo so near they would likely fear its power too much." After saying that he handed her a small box, which when opened had a small piece of paper containing a spell and a badge.
"How does it work Grandfather?" Kasumi asked while eyeing the badge.
"To be honest I am unsure, I have seen another one used about three times, but it was always a pretty lady who used it, and always before jumping in water. I have seen it once be used by a pretty lady pulling a guy with her, and he seemed jumpy, but other then that I have no idea." he admitted.
"Oh my! Is it permanent?"
"When I was given this, I was told that nothing teleported with this was never seen again, except the teleporting girls." he scratched his head at that one. Sure the women had sometimes come back, but according to the reports it was rare that any guy had returned, much less anything like a pet.
Kasumi thought for a moment, 'That might be useful, but what to do about it?' Then she remembered that she had that tracker that fell out of Ranma's hair, she could hide it in the pond and when the fiancée's jump in to find how he is hiding in there she could just use it. 'But what if it only works on guys to teleport with, and requires a girl to actually use it?' She decided on a course of action, "Thank you Grandfather. This is just what I needed."
"Glad to be of service to such a beautiful young lady Kasumi-chan." with that he left, thinking 'Mist is right, the Mist that is used to hide a force no human should ever stand against.'
Later that day
"Ok, I got the laptop setup to detect again, let's go find Ranma!" Remarked Nabiki. As she looked at the others, Akane, Kasumi, Ukyo, Shampoo, and as a distraction Kodachi.
After a round of cheering Nabiki lead, at a pace she would rather not move to the coy pond. A short trip indeed. Nabiki raised an eyebrow at this and said sarcastically, "So he's been hiding in the pond." To bad the others missed the sarcasm, except Kasumi, who started chanting something, while the others jumped into the pond. Before the water settled Kasumi pushed Nabiki into the pond and put one foot into the temporary Spring of Drowned Man, courtesy of four Barrels of Drowned man water sent as per the last request after the wedding fiasco.
A moment later all the Neo-guys were gone, and Kasumi smirked and ran off, after all she had a wedding to crash. She just wished she didn't apply so much water proof soap that her skin itched.
On Siren (Seiren)
The Neo-guys stepped out of the water fountain in the crowded park and Nabiki-kun exclaimed, "I didn't think Kasumi would try something like this."
Before they could say anything they all realized they were guys and the only ones in this crowd of women who ranged from cute to beautiful. They realized that there was a big crowd. They also realized, to Shampoo's terror, they looked like Amazons about to glomp... and it did not seem like that was all they wanted.
One tall young woman stepped out amongst the whispers; she took a long look at them all, especially Ukyo-kun. "Surely this is a gift of the Kami!" Then in a flash, that would forever make Akane rethink the all guys are perverts to now everyone but me is a pervert, they looked at them, with a gleam that made Shampoo realize she had much to learn. "Get them! The tall one is mine! Oh hohohohoho"
Let's see. Bleach?
No, Akane made Ranma's meatloaf with that.
Rat poison?
No, she made his chicken soup with that yesterday.
"I need something special, hmmm"
Kasumi thought for a moment. She realized that she would need help from her minion. The one she usually used for all her dirty work after he appeared. The others all believed he just respected her, she always found that amusing.
"Grandfather, can you help me with something?"
Happosai paled momentarily, before turning to the kitchen and with a steady voice replied, "Coming Kasumi-chan."
As he bounded into the house he hopped past his cowering students, 'Cowards, they have learned nothing of what I taught.'
As he entered the kitchen he looked at Kasumi, in her current outfit. If it were not for all himself control, little as it was, he would be suffering needlessly knowing Kasumi. He still didn't know how she managed to get Tofu's boxers, and hem them into panties and hide them in his room without his notice. That was one surprise Happosai was more then happy to not repeat.
"What can I do for you sweet Kasumi-chan?"
Kasumi looked at the troll before her; she knew that she had him in ways he didn't know. He was useful but only controlled. It was always fun to organize those mobs to attack him as well.
"I need something to remove several problems, but I need it to look like someone else did it. After all I do not wish to take credit for the joy it will bring."
'Who's joy?' He thought sarcastically. "What kind of problems Kasumi-chan?" he asked with false enthusiasm.
"Oh my! Nothing much, just a few pests. The kind that make it difficult to live with. Like ones that untidy a kitchen, ruin dinners, pop-up in front of people and cause trouble in a normally quiet home." Kasumi said with her usual smile.
'I see; she wants to get rid of someone, or rather some ones. But she is out of poison. Probably from Akane feeding it to Ranma. Ah my sweet Ranma-chan, at this rate she will be immune to anything.' His mind ran, with that thought until he noticed Kasumi's mouth slipping from its smile. "I might have something for you Kasumi-chan. It's almost useless to me, but it should do the trick. It can banish any pest to a place it deserves the most. Sadly it requires a woman to cast."
"Now it wouldn't be an Amazon Artifact now would it?" Kasumi frowned. She was worried, if the Amazons knew of it, it might hurt her plans.
Happosai looked at her and shook his head rapidly, an upset Kasumi was dangerous, a pissed Kasumi, could scare a Kami. He knew; he saw it happen twice. "No no, nothing like that. If they knew about this they would likely never have used it anyway. They would likely just destroy it. Anything the Amazons cannot use to their advantage, or would hinder them in any way they destroy without taking hesitation. And with Jusenkyo so near they would likely fear its power too much." After saying that he handed her a small box, which when opened had a small piece of paper containing a spell and a badge.
"How does it work Grandfather?" Kasumi asked while eyeing the badge.
"To be honest I am unsure, I have seen another one used about three times, but it was always a pretty lady who used it, and always before jumping in water. I have seen it once be used by a pretty lady pulling a guy with her, and he seemed jumpy, but other then that I have no idea." he admitted.
"Oh my! Is it permanent?"
"When I was given this, I was told that nothing teleported with this was never seen again, except the teleporting girls." he scratched his head at that one. Sure the women had sometimes come back, but according to the reports it was rare that any guy had returned, much less anything like a pet.
Kasumi thought for a moment, 'That might be useful, but what to do about it?' Then she remembered that she had that tracker that fell out of Ranma's hair, she could hide it in the pond and when the fiancée's jump in to find how he is hiding in there she could just use it. 'But what if it only works on guys to teleport with, and requires a girl to actually use it?' She decided on a course of action, "Thank you Grandfather. This is just what I needed."
"Glad to be of service to such a beautiful young lady Kasumi-chan." with that he left, thinking 'Mist is right, the Mist that is used to hide a force no human should ever stand against.'
Later that day
"Ok, I got the laptop setup to detect again, let's go find Ranma!" Remarked Nabiki. As she looked at the others, Akane, Kasumi, Ukyo, Shampoo, and as a distraction Kodachi.
After a round of cheering Nabiki lead, at a pace she would rather not move to the coy pond. A short trip indeed. Nabiki raised an eyebrow at this and said sarcastically, "So he's been hiding in the pond." To bad the others missed the sarcasm, except Kasumi, who started chanting something, while the others jumped into the pond. Before the water settled Kasumi pushed Nabiki into the pond and put one foot into the temporary Spring of Drowned Man, courtesy of four Barrels of Drowned man water sent as per the last request after the wedding fiasco.
A moment later all the Neo-guys were gone, and Kasumi smirked and ran off, after all she had a wedding to crash. She just wished she didn't apply so much water proof soap that her skin itched.
On Siren (Seiren)
The Neo-guys stepped out of the water fountain in the crowded park and Nabiki-kun exclaimed, "I didn't think Kasumi would try something like this."
Before they could say anything they all realized they were guys and the only ones in this crowd of women who ranged from cute to beautiful. They realized that there was a big crowd. They also realized, to Shampoo's terror, they looked like Amazons about to glomp... and it did not seem like that was all they wanted.
One tall young woman stepped out amongst the whispers; she took a long look at them all, especially Ukyo-kun. "Surely this is a gift of the Kami!" Then in a flash, that would forever make Akane rethink the all guys are perverts to now everyone but me is a pervert, they looked at them, with a gleam that made Shampoo realize she had much to learn. "Get them! The tall one is mine! Oh hohohohoho"
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Omake by migele:
Nabiki had always thought them to be PWP, Pointless Without Plot.
But actually some of them had a plot.
Some reminded them a little of Nerima.
"I should have gotten laid at least three times by him." Kasumi sounded frustrated.
"I wouldn't mind taking a swim in some money with him." Nabiki decided.
"Shampoo no is into bes ... bist... no want to do as cat and no is catgirl."
Cologne blinked.
"That's perverted." Akane stated.
"Hey sis you are in character." Nabiki had an evil grin.
"Huh?"
"A hot redhead is giving someone who can't cook some lessons in French."
"I can cook!"
But actually some of them had a plot.
Some reminded them a little of Nerima.
"I should have gotten laid at least three times by him." Kasumi sounded frustrated.
"I wouldn't mind taking a swim in some money with him." Nabiki decided.
"Shampoo no is into bes ... bist... no want to do as cat and no is catgirl."
Cologne blinked.
"That's perverted." Akane stated.
"Hey sis you are in character." Nabiki had an evil grin.
"Huh?"
"A hot redhead is giving someone who can't cook some lessons in French."
"I can cook!"
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Omakes by Hiryo:
“No, you said other women,” corrected Haruka, actually believing that her
weird logic would work in her favor—not unlike a certain part-time
panda, “you never said no gender cursed males.”
“Great,” paled Minako, “we're losing men to lesbians now.”
“THIS IS ALL USAGI'S FAULT!” cried Rei, needing someone to blame for
her lack of a dating life.
Hotaru paled. Not only was her Setsuna-mama trying to get Usa raised in
a broken home—which could explain some of the younger girl's quirks—
but Haruka-papa and the Inners were trying to obviously steal Usa's
father for their own perverted whims.
PLOINK . . . there goes Hotaru and welcome Mistress 9. Hotaru...I mean
Mistress 9 sits straighter, more confidently, and most importantly her
eyes are mischievous! All that in one little cute package.
In a sing-song voice Ho...Mistress 9 asks Michiru and Haruka. "May I have
a word with you?"
Michiru and Haruka looks at each other unsure of what to say.
"Sure," Haruka says hesitantly. Taking Michiru's hand in heirs for
reinsurance. That look that she saw scared her. Right before the door,
just as she wanted to take a hold of the doorknob . . . .
"No, not that room . . ." Hotaru whispers into Haruka's ear shyly, "I would
feel more confidently in my room of what I have to tell you."
Again Michiru's and Haruka's eyes met, however they do as she asked
them.
As Hotaru enters after Michiru and Haruka in her room she lets out a
chilling laugh then she closes the door. A rumbling sound of a metal door-
plate and metal window plates shutting rapidly and seemingly hundreds of
locks shutting.
After that a familiar transforming sequence of Saturn and then where
silence. A silence where you could hear Minako's drool dropping in the
entire quiet room where she drooled over the paused record where
Ranma run out naked of the bathroom from a furious Akane while fending
of Genma and Soun.
The locks open, a rattling sound like a medieval gate opens sound through
the silent room.
Hotaru comes out and licks seductively some liquid from her lips . . .
grinning somehow manically and satisfied at the same time. "Now that
there are no further competition as well no further doubt . . . ." 'Wait a
sec . . .' she thinks and turns to the still waiting spectators. Ignoring the
little drop of something still clinging to her nose. it should be noted that
she still is in her costume. "NOW USAGI AND MAMORO WILL BE WED AND
THERE WON'T BE A COMPETITON BETWEEN ME AND RANMA ANYMORE!"
Before Setsuna could utter a syllable she still by looking pointblank at the
business end of the silence halberd.
"AND IF YOU ONLY THINK OF INTERFERING WITH MY RANMA," yells
Mistress 9, "THEN I HAVE TO GIVE YOU SOME NITROGLYCERIN
INTRAVENOUS," her manically grin threatens to split her face, "AND SHAKE
YOU THEN SOME UP . . . ."
===============================================
Omake #2:
===============================================
“Usa gi?”
The eating machine of Juuban stopped mid-sucking of the food, as she
looked at her parents.
Her haze of happiness soon turned into a mire of despair. “Um, yes?”
“I'm only going to ask this one,” said Ikuko. “Did you sleep with Ranma
Saotome?”
Usagi blinked. “Yeah, I had to.”
“What?” growled out Kenji.
TSCH, TSHI, TSHI TSHIK Kenji just transformed into an Transformer . . .
and jip his arm was a 2m long shotgun. He further talks VERY loudly with
Usagi. "ShOw Me WhErE ThE oNe Is ThAt . . . ."
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!! Mount Ikuko just blew or better yet she had
a golden corona around her. The now fully transformed Kenji lies in
Ikuko's hands. "NOW HUSBAND, LOOK JUST WHAT YOU HAD ME DO!
NOW WE HAVE TO EXPLAIN TO USAGI WHERE WE REALLY CAME FROM!"
"By the way," Ikuko turns eerily to Usagi as only wicked evil beings and
mothers can do. Flames in her eyes that nearly licking Usagi's strands
she continues with still ticking eyebrows "WHAT DID YOU SAY NOW!?!"
weird logic would work in her favor—not unlike a certain part-time
panda, “you never said no gender cursed males.”
“Great,” paled Minako, “we're losing men to lesbians now.”
“THIS IS ALL USAGI'S FAULT!” cried Rei, needing someone to blame for
her lack of a dating life.
Hotaru paled. Not only was her Setsuna-mama trying to get Usa raised in
a broken home—which could explain some of the younger girl's quirks—
but Haruka-papa and the Inners were trying to obviously steal Usa's
father for their own perverted whims.
PLOINK . . . there goes Hotaru and welcome Mistress 9. Hotaru...I mean
Mistress 9 sits straighter, more confidently, and most importantly her
eyes are mischievous! All that in one little cute package.
In a sing-song voice Ho...Mistress 9 asks Michiru and Haruka. "May I have
a word with you?"
Michiru and Haruka looks at each other unsure of what to say.
"Sure," Haruka says hesitantly. Taking Michiru's hand in heirs for
reinsurance. That look that she saw scared her. Right before the door,
just as she wanted to take a hold of the doorknob . . . .
"No, not that room . . ." Hotaru whispers into Haruka's ear shyly, "I would
feel more confidently in my room of what I have to tell you."
Again Michiru's and Haruka's eyes met, however they do as she asked
them.
As Hotaru enters after Michiru and Haruka in her room she lets out a
chilling laugh then she closes the door. A rumbling sound of a metal door-
plate and metal window plates shutting rapidly and seemingly hundreds of
locks shutting.
After that a familiar transforming sequence of Saturn and then where
silence. A silence where you could hear Minako's drool dropping in the
entire quiet room where she drooled over the paused record where
Ranma run out naked of the bathroom from a furious Akane while fending
of Genma and Soun.
The locks open, a rattling sound like a medieval gate opens sound through
the silent room.
Hotaru comes out and licks seductively some liquid from her lips . . .
grinning somehow manically and satisfied at the same time. "Now that
there are no further competition as well no further doubt . . . ." 'Wait a
sec . . .' she thinks and turns to the still waiting spectators. Ignoring the
little drop of something still clinging to her nose. it should be noted that
she still is in her costume. "NOW USAGI AND MAMORO WILL BE WED AND
THERE WON'T BE A COMPETITON BETWEEN ME AND RANMA ANYMORE!"
Before Setsuna could utter a syllable she still by looking pointblank at the
business end of the silence halberd.
"AND IF YOU ONLY THINK OF INTERFERING WITH MY RANMA," yells
Mistress 9, "THEN I HAVE TO GIVE YOU SOME NITROGLYCERIN
INTRAVENOUS," her manically grin threatens to split her face, "AND SHAKE
YOU THEN SOME UP . . . ."
===============================================
Omake #2:
===============================================
“Usa gi?”
The eating machine of Juuban stopped mid-sucking of the food, as she
looked at her parents.
Her haze of happiness soon turned into a mire of despair. “Um, yes?”
“I'm only going to ask this one,” said Ikuko. “Did you sleep with Ranma
Saotome?”
Usagi blinked. “Yeah, I had to.”
“What?” growled out Kenji.
TSCH, TSHI, TSHI TSHIK Kenji just transformed into an Transformer . . .
and jip his arm was a 2m long shotgun. He further talks VERY loudly with
Usagi. "ShOw Me WhErE ThE oNe Is ThAt . . . ."
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!! Mount Ikuko just blew or better yet she had
a golden corona around her. The now fully transformed Kenji lies in
Ikuko's hands. "NOW HUSBAND, LOOK JUST WHAT YOU HAD ME DO!
NOW WE HAVE TO EXPLAIN TO USAGI WHERE WE REALLY CAME FROM!"
"By the way," Ikuko turns eerily to Usagi as only wicked evil beings and
mothers can do. Flames in her eyes that nearly licking Usagi's strands
she continues with still ticking eyebrows "WHAT DID YOU SAY NOW!?!"
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Omake by crystlshake:
The Senshi of Saturn sat with her friends, arguing about the message they had all received.
Usagi was pregnant.
Ranma Saotome was the Father.
Ikuko was having them married today.
“WAH! WHY DOES DUMPLING HEAD GET ALL THE CUTE GUYS?”
The rest of the Senshi were not amused.
Hotaru had the decency to blush at their combined glare.
Usagi was pregnant.
Ranma Saotome was the Father.
Ikuko was having them married today.
“WAH! WHY DOES DUMPLING HEAD GET ALL THE CUTE GUYS?”
The rest of the Senshi were not amused.
Hotaru had the decency to blush at their combined glare.
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Omake by Anime_Freak317:
Cologne put down the note. “A good read, nice plot, and very imaginative style. This is easily one of Nodoka's better plot scripts.”
“Huh?” asked Shampoo. “What mean?”
Cologne cackled. “Simple dear child. What do you think that she has been doing to pay her way through life?”
Kasumi smiled. “She always told us she was doing what she enjoyed.”
Cologne nodded. “She writes for porn videos.”
The girls all stared, asking the question everyone was thinking.
“You mean that stuff has a plot?”
Okay, the question everyone, but Akane, who was wondering what they were talking about, was thinking.
“And how would you know?' asked Nabiki, pushing away fearful images of 300-year-old Amazons involved in the erotica industry.
“Simple,” said Cologne, bringing out several manuscripts from her sleeve. “I'm her editor. She has been coming to me for advice ever since before she married that worthless man she's with today."
Everyone pales at this and starts edging away from the elder, except Akane.
"So, what's the big deal? It's only words; nothing perverted could ever come of this. I would like to read one of Nodoka-obasan's books."
“Huh?” asked Shampoo. “What mean?”
Cologne cackled. “Simple dear child. What do you think that she has been doing to pay her way through life?”
Kasumi smiled. “She always told us she was doing what she enjoyed.”
Cologne nodded. “She writes for porn videos.”
The girls all stared, asking the question everyone was thinking.
“You mean that stuff has a plot?”
Okay, the question everyone, but Akane, who was wondering what they were talking about, was thinking.
“And how would you know?' asked Nabiki, pushing away fearful images of 300-year-old Amazons involved in the erotica industry.
“Simple,” said Cologne, bringing out several manuscripts from her sleeve. “I'm her editor. She has been coming to me for advice ever since before she married that worthless man she's with today."
Everyone pales at this and starts edging away from the elder, except Akane.
"So, what's the big deal? It's only words; nothing perverted could ever come of this. I would like to read one of Nodoka-obasan's books."