Cowboy Bebop Fan Fiction ❯ Stew ❯ Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder ( Chapter 13 )

"Jordan?"

"Hm?"

"How long have I been asleep?"

"Maybe an hour or two."

"I'm sorry..."

She yawned as she stretched, then sat quietly on the edge of the bed, thinking.

I can't believe it. Am I actually....going to try again? After I had to work for so long to give into it the first time? What if he does the same thing? What if he just leaves me in the blink of an eye?

She looked over at him. His arm was over his eyes in a pitiful attempt to catch a break from watching over her.

No. He wouldn't. He doesn't have HIS past chasing him down. HE's not....still in love with someone else. He's searching for something, just like me.

She leaned over the half-sleeping man and said softly, "I...I want to thank you....for your company, and for listening. I really needed it. I can't tell you how much better you've made me feel."

"It's nothing. Who wouldn't want to spend time with a beautiful woman?"

Faye laughed as Jordan smirked, peeking out from under his arm.

"You're good for a self-confidence boost, too."

She ran a hand threw her hair and stopped in mid-motion.

"Oh SHIT!"

Jordan flew up with a start. "What?! WHAT?!?!"

"My....my HAIR!!! What the - OH MY GOD! My....argh! I'll be right back, Jordan, I need to shower! BADLY!"

She dashed out of the room wildly.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~

A dash of yellow flew by.

He turned, eyes searching frantically.

Was it...?

A purple streak.

He turned again, and sound harassed him from every direction - a deafening mass of volume pushed into his ears unmercilessly. He called out and felt the result of what had caused that sound - a flaming pain on his cheek. He looked up to see hurt green eyes stained with running mascara.

Faye....

Without a sound, she was gone. Just like that. Just faded away....

Glass. Broken crystalline shards of razor sharp, bone-shattering pain. Swarms of it flew at him, attacking every inch of his thin, lanky frame, digging into every pore, making him scream in agony.

And again, silence. Nothing. Everything went white, then black, alternating between total heat and light to darkness and intense cold. The gravity fluctuated incessantly, changing just as his body got used to it. He felt like he was being tossed about like a rag doll.

What in the world is going on?

And again, peace. He wasn't fooled. He breathed deeply in relief, but was braced for whatever was to come next. Looking down to check for any serious injuries, he was surprised to see....nothing. No blood, no bruises, no nothing.

"Spike."

She stood there, calm and cool, like nothing ever happened. Beautiful.

"Yeah?"

She smiled softly.

"You know....I never told you, but....I think you know by now....that I lo -"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Spike! Spike, are you okay?!"

Julia was shaking him lightly, wiping the sweat off his brow. He groaned and rolled over.

"Spike, you were...having a nightmare."

Like HELL I was having a nightmare, he thought sarcastically.

She examined him for a while, then spoke.

"You said a name, too."

He stiffened. "Oh?"

"Yeah. You said....Faye."

He felt the bedsprings adjust under the lessening of her weight as she stood up to go dress herself. He watched her, wondering what to say.

What the hell am I doing here? I thought I decided....that I didn't love you anymore....

"Is that her name, Spike?"

He looked up and locked eyes with her. He could see the love she still had for him dancing around inside her like an animal waiting to be released....she was waiting for him to fully love her again. But he couldn't do that. He had moved on, and now, after all this, he knew in his heart that it was true.

Is this becoming a habit? Just love them and leave them? he asked himself.

But it couldn't be. Not what he felt for Faye...that couldn't be just a fling sort of attraction. He knew she was what he wanted, what he needed now. The best sex in his life hadn't even changed that. It was a fact, set in stone. He knew he had to do it.

"Why do you want to know? What does it matter what her name is?"

"I just....I just want to know....who I'm losing you to."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ < p>Faye toweled off her hair, feeling much better than she had before. Now that she had someone, whether he was a friend or more, that she could count on 100%, any time she needed him, she felt a new sense of security. It was comforting, like a warm quilt that always kept you safe. Pleasant, something she wasn't used to.

She got into her robe and looked into the steamed mirror. Her puffy eyes had deflated a little and she looked more healthy than she had in weeks. Maybe it was time to move on....

She grinned to herself and put on some lipstick, then went back to her room to see Jordan conked out on her bed. She giggled, then got as close to tucking him in as she could without waking him up.

She walked out into the living room, then to the kitchen, and opened up the cabinets.

Aged Rabbit Juice. Speckled Cabbage Pulp, Chicken Flavored. Sea Prune Chunks.

Dammit, Spike, did you have to leave your reminders where I would SURELY see them?

Sighing, she took a can of fish and a fork and plopped down in front of the T.V. She watched a few shows and relaxed, sighing as she felt some strength return to her frail body. After a an hour or so, Jordan joined her, casually linking his arm around her waist.

She didn't move it, nor get uncomfortable. Jordan noticed this and was glad that she trusted him. His body heat was comforting in itself to her, and she leaned her forehead into his neck as they watched a movie together.

Faye Valentine finally knew peace.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The ex-couple sat on opposite sides of the bed, neither knowing what to say. Somewhere in the pits of their hearts, they knew it was coming. It was like some lung-squeezing, chest-constraining death curse on their relationship.

"Is she pretty?"

"...Julia..."

She stood up and stormed over to him. It was the first time he had ever seen her angry, and he sat back in surprise as the tidal wave of confused emotions she had bottled up for so long was finally released.

"I loved you for SO long, after SO much, and...and now....look at us now, Spike, LOOK AT US NOW. What are we? What's left of us? And after all we did..."

Her voice got choked up and she let a few sobs escape.

"All I have ever wanted was....to be perfect for you. Not for me, not for....Vicious, just for you. I wanted to do everything for you, I would have given all I had just to spend my life with you. My life, Spike."

He stood and took her hands in his.

"I know. I would have given all that and a thousand nights of torture to have been able to stay with you, but I knew I had to escape. And I know now that....I need to escape again. It's just not the same, I know you feel it. But I will say this - you were the first one to ever open my heart enough to make me fall in love. And first loves are always, ALWAYS special. You will always be with me..."

And with that, he kissed her hand and walked out.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ < p class="c1">It's good to be back, old friend.

Spike sat in the well-worn pilot seat and started up his ship.

Where to now? What if she doesn't want me back? And am I gonna tell her about....Julia? What if she totally disowns me? I can act like I don't care....I'm good at that. But she's not going to throw me off my own ship. I was there before she was, and Jet will take my side. ..... Hopefully....

Ah, well. It's for the best....it's not like I have strong feelings for Julia anymore, so ....yeah....I know what I'm doing.

He flew off into space, flying smoothly towards Venus.

Ah, who am I kidding? It'll be weird if things don't turn out right. But hey, I'm irresistible, right? Yeah. Right.

He put the ship on auto pilot and went back to his cot, pulling out from under the mattress his favorite picture of Faye, which had gotten a little worn. On Mars he had bought a small frame used for holographs and had cropped the picture so it would fit. He wanted to preserve it because he knew that there was a possibility that it might be all he'll have left.

He shuddered every time he thought about losing her - she was like a part of him now. Granted, he hadn't seen her for a month, but still, his feelings were there. As much as he had thought and maybe even hoped that his feelings for her were fleeting, they had only gotten stronger with their long separation.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder, right?

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Julia lay curled up on the bed, feeling dejected.

I can't believe I just...I let it happen...my one true love....I let him go.

@]----'----,----

How can I just let you walk away

Just watch you leave without a trace

When I stand here taking every breath with you?

You're the only one who really knew me at all

How can you just walk away from me

When all I can do is watch you leave?

'Cause we've shared the laughter and the pain, and even shared the tears

You're the only one who really knew me at all...

@]----'----,----

Her golden locks became a dark blonde as her tears soaked them and the pillow.

I guess the best things in life are the things you can't keep.

@]----'----,----

So take a look at me now

There's just an empty space

There's nothing left here to remind me

Just the memory of your face

So take a look at me now

There's just an empty space

And you coming back to me is against the odds

And that's what I've got to face...

@]----'----,----

She wiped her tears away and resolved firmly that she'd never love him again. It would take time, but he had broken her heart repeatedly. If he didn't need her, she didn't want to need him - she had to retain her dignity and self-respect. No man could give that to her, no man could take it away.

But as she straightened the rumpled bedcovers and caught scent of his cologne, another tear dropped. It left a small, dark dot on the white linen sheets and made her long lashes glisten with dew.

I never loved anyone more than you, Spike. I hope....I hope you'll find happiness with her.

@]----'----,----

I wish I could just make you turn around

Turn around and see me cry

There's so much I need to say to you

So many reasons why

You're the only one who really knew me at all

So take a look at me now

There's just an empty space

There's nothing left here to remind me

Just the memory of your face

So take a look at me now

There's just an empty space

But to wait for you is all I can do

And that's what I've got to face...

@]----'----,----

With one last look around the room, the angelic figure dressed in black picked up her keycards and exited the hotel room quietly, leaving with one less love than she had come with.

@]----'----,----

Take a good look at me now

'Cause I'll still be standing here

And you coming back to me

Is against all odds

That's a chance I got to take

Take a look at me now...

@]----'----,----

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Hello?" Jet answered the radio.

"Jet, it's me."

The captain of the Bebop blinked in disbelief.

Spike? Is that...really you? You didn't kill yourself?

A thousand questions flew threw his head.

"What the hell do you want? You were never anything but trouble..."

"I just wanted to tell you guys that I'm coming back."

"You're what? But I have to -"

"If you won't let me stay, I at least have to talk to Faye."

"WHAT? But she's -"

"Thanks Jet! I'll be there in five minutes."

*Click.*

Jet Black put down the receiver slowly, already getting a headache from the thought of what chaos was going to ensue once Spike walked in on Faye with Jordan.

Ah hell. Ain't none of my business, anyhow.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~

Spike carefully landed his ship quietly onto the runway of the Bebop, then, once he was safely on the platform, drove it into the garage and parked.

He didn't want anyone to know he was there already, besides Jet. Surprising Faye would be interesting.

Tossing the key onto a hook on a wall, he strolled in silently and made his way to the living room. He thought he could hear the sound of Faye's voice already, not loud and screeching, but low and soft, quite pleasant, actually.

He stopped as soon as he could see half her body.

Even in the glow from the television he could see how much paler she had gotten. Her clothes sagged on her, and she had bags under her eyes. Little did he know that this wasn't half as bad as she had been since he left.

My God. Please don't tell me....that I caused this. I made her like this? I couldn't have! Did she care THAT much? And I just left her behind, just like that? Just like....I did to Julia? Am I this much of a monster? ..... I can't believe I've been so foolish. To Faye, to Julia, to everyone. Maybe I don't care about anybody. How could I if I can just leave like that?

No. I'm going to make it right. All I have to do is just walk in and -

His feet and his heart stopped. It was....there was....her. With Jordan. And she looked....happy, contented. Without him. With Jordan.

WITHOUT him.

His knees almost gave in and he ducked back behind the corner, leaning into the wall for support.

Oh God....what do I do now?

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ < p>A/N: Sorry for the long wait, but I had to pack my bags *breaks out into "Leaving on a Jet Plane"* ^_^ For Christmas vacation. I'm skipping Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday because I'm flying back to Texas, where I'm originally from, to spend the holidays with my mom. ^_- What did you guys think of the chapter? Too fast? Too slow? Too cheesy? Too OOC? Suggestions and comments are always welcome, *PLEASE* review!!!