Crossover Fan Fiction / Devil Hunter Yohko Fan Fiction / Mermaid's Saga Fan Fiction / Ah My Goddess Fan Fiction / Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction / Sailor Moon Fan Fiction / Tenchi Muyo Fan Fiction ❯ Ranma Crossing Over too the Wild Side ❯ The Amazons are coming ( Chapter 11 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters, but I'm not trying to make any money off this so I guess it's OK then.

This is a Ranma continuation and multi-cross-over with Sailor Moon, Tenchi Muyo!, Mermaid Saga, Ah! Megami-sama, and Mamono Hunter Yohko.

This is my first time writing a fan fiction, so please review and tell me what you think.

Chapter 11: The Amazons are coming


Koh Lon woke up the younger two Amazons bright and early and started making a kettle of her strongest tea. They had all been up late last night, Shampoo had been spying on the Tendos, Mousse was out hunting for Neko-Ranma-chan until he called in and found out that some Shinto shrine maiden had taken him home, and she had been using the ham radio to talk with the other elders in Amazon Code Speak. (They stole the idea from the US WWII practice of using Apache code talkers and revived a 200-year dead Mongolian tribal language and combined it with Pig-Latin.) So far no one had been able to break the code, but it was frustrating for everyone involved to speak in such a bastardized tongue.

The Amazon Matriarch had verified what she had heard about the Phoenix Mountain incident and relayed the news about the failed wedding and the Tokyo Neko-Onna chase. She had asked for reinforcements and the Elder Counsel had given her that and more. They agreed to send Xian Pu’s four prospective co-wives, then added half a dozen unmarried maidens that wanted to go husband hunting in Nerima as well as two older widowed warriors that were looking for new husbands.

Sierra Lee had lost her husband and daughter to a Triad while she was in Hong Kong learning Jeet Kune Do six years ago and had expressed interest in Tendo Soun and his Tendo Ryu of the Musabetsu Kakuto Ryu.

Xian Pu’s aunt Xoa Pu was also coming. Her husband had been killed by a chimera beast that had come from Jusenkyo four years ago. The beast had killed six people outside the village before it attacked one night and killed eight more and injured twenty before an elder doused it with hot water and killed the rabid dog that had hit the pools of drowned crocodile, drowned tiger, and drowned porcupine. She was tracking a nameless cloaked warrior that had saved her from bandits and her only clue was that he was going to Japan and that he has a pantyhose fetish.

Fara Lee, Sierra’s adopted daughter, was a foundling with some obvious Musk heritage. Her Tiger clan bloodline was really obvious in her fangs, retractable claws, pointed ears and slitted green eyes. To help the poor girl fit in better she was dunked into Nyanniichuan and many people are under the mistaken impression that she was cursed by ‘the hot spring of drowned girl holding her pet kitty’. Besides looking for a good fighter as a husband, she was going to find out if she could learn this Neko-Ken style that she had heard about.

Jin Tsu, Mu Tsu’s 2nd cousin, had learned Escrima from her father who was as escaped criminal from the Philippines that had defeated her mother when she caught him stealing food and knives from her house.

Pur Se was a decent swords-woman and what the Americans call a ‘gold digger’, so she was looking for a fighter with lots of money that she could control. She had heard about Kuno Tatewaki from Xian Pu and was looking to marry into money.

Rin Se, Pur Se’s younger sister, was a rather meek girl, and not that good a warrior, thus she was rather unpopular in the village. It was upsetting her that the boys she challenged would take a dive to avoid marrying her.

Deena Ling, Rin Se’s blonde best friend, and the current village champion, was also looking for a husband. She kept beating all boys that challenged her with her father’s Drunken Boxing style Kung Fu.

The last girl on the list was the mannish Tow El that fought Xian Pu in the finals two years ago. She was already known as an old maid and she was getting desperate. When she heard about the husband hunt, she made sure that she was going.

With all these Amazon girls coming to Tokyo, Koh Lon thought that she deserved a little help from the council, so she asked for another elder to come to Tokyo. Poe Sun the head mystic of the amazons decided to she would come to Nerima so that she can checkout Demon activity in Juuban.

Elder Poe Sun was also going to look for the location of the age reducing mushrooms she heard about. After all who wanted to be shrunken old mummy if they could regain their youth by eating a 20-cm mushroom.

While it would take these amazons a week to reach Nerima, she would have to start looking for additional lodging for them immediately. Access to a Dojo for training during the day would also be needed. Nabiki might rent out the Tendo Dojo for enough money, and that would also get many of the girls closer to Ranma, always a plus. Also the opportunity to learn some of the techniques of the Musabetsu Kakuto Ryu would improve the fighting skills of the girls.

Just then Mu Tsu came tumbling down the stairs with a towel-clad Xian Pu following with her Bon-Bori out and ready. “Stupid Mousse! Put on glasses and read ‘Occupied’ sign next time!” she yells swinging her mace into his chest, sending him into a table in the dining area of the Nekohanten. “It does blind duck no good to peep on Shampoo without glasses on as well, so Mousse just being stupid again.”

“Oh ho ho ho ho.” Koh Lon cackles, “You’re lucky she sees it that way boy. You know the punishment for peeping on an Amazon maiden?”

“Yeah, yeah, she gets to kick the pervert in the balls until she is satisfied.” Mu Tsu replies.

“Aiyah! Is same law that drove Happosai from the village, right Great Grandma?” asks Xian Pu.

“That’s right, Happosai peeped on Pow Dee, the warrior with the highest dan ranking in Muay Thai.” Koh Lon replies. “He fled in fear that she would keep kicking him in the balls until he died, and given the way he insulted her appearance I’m sure that he was right.”

“Pow Dee, isn’t Tow El from the Dee clan?” asks Mu Tsu.

“That’s right Mousse. She was Tow El’s . . . great great great . . . great great-grandmother, and Tow El is quite the looker in comparison since Pow Dee’s father was Boar Clan Musk.” Koh Lon explains.

“OH! So that where Tow El gets her looks. Shampoo always wonder about that.”

“What? Is there something wrong with how Tow El’s looks?” Mu Tsu asks.

#Thump# Xian Pu and Kon Lon both facefault. (Tow El was the ‘girl?’ that was fighting Xian Pu on the log when Genma and Ranma watched.)

“Aiyah! Almost loose towel!” Xian Pu exclaims as she runs back up stairs.

“Nothing Mousse, Towel is only slightly less beautiful than Shampoo and myself when I was young.” Kon Lon tells him. “Maybe you should ask her out when she gets here. She is a strong warrior and would be a good wife for you.”

Mu Tsu gets up and grabs a chair yelling, “What! I’ll never give up on making Shampoo my wife you dried up monkey.”

#WHAP#

“Quit molesting that chair and get it through your skull that Shampoo WILL marry Ranma.” Koh Lon tells him after hitting him with her staff. “Shampoo lost a formal marriage challenge to Ranma-dono when she was wearing the Reversal Jewel, so unless someone can beat Muko-dono for Shampoo’s hand she has to marry him to keep her honor, and after his defeat of Saffron the council will insist in bringing Ranma-dono into the tribe. Even now Shampoo’s sister-wives are coming here to help her. Now put on your glasses and set the table for breakfast.”
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When the three Amazons finished breakfast Koh Lon sent Mu Tsu to prepare the dining room for opening so that she could talk with Xian Pu alone.

“So Shampoo what did you learn from the Tendos last night.” Koh Lon asks as they start setting up the kitchen.

“Shampoo hear many important things while underneath coffee table.” she replies. “Find out that Ranma is member of great Masaki clan and that the Masaki clan are the Royal Family of the Juraii Empire. Shampoo also hear that Sword Mother is daughter of great warrior Yosho. Yosho is calling self Katsuhito, and is in Nerima with sister Princess Ayeka. Also Demon Ryouko is with him and has her mother Scary Genius Girl with her, but Demon-Girl seem like normal girl after Ranma’s cousin Tenchi.”

“Ah yes, Muko-dono being related to Yosho may explain some of his great Ki strength. This makes it even more imperative that Ranma joins the tribe.” Koh Lon replies. “Why Yosho’s 3rd wife was an Amazon, but Blos Sun died 400 years ago so Nodoka must be from a later wife. But Yosho should be in favor of at least a few Amazon wives for Ranma. Oh ho ho ho.”

“Is good Hiba-chan, Shampoo also hear that Saotome clan is demon-hunters, but only the men, and the men must stay pure until 18-years-old to use demon killing sword. No Saotomes have used the sword in 200 years.” Xian Pu explains. “Ranma almost 18, just couple weeks he get sword and girl demon-hunter fiancee from Mano clan. Is great news, Shampoo will have demon-hunting sister-wife and husband. Shampoo is too, too happy.” Xian Pu squeals jumping up and down happily.

“My Shampoo, you seem excited by having more competition for Muko-dono. Why is this?” Koh Lon asks suspiciously.

“Is simple Hiba-chan. Shampoo overhear that Juraii OK with many wives for husband like Amazons.” Xian Pu answers excitedly. “Also Airen’s Sword Mother very upset with Violent Kitchen Destroyer for insulting Airen at wedding and attacking with no reason, break engagement. Sisters both say no to engagement, say Violent Hammer Girl be mad with them if take Ranma. Mercenary Girl and Too Nice Girl pass Ranma to nice genius girl cousin Ami to keep crying man and panda happy. Sword Lady agree, she like Genius Girl and Genius Girl like Airen when visit.”

“Oh, I see, you’re already planning for a large family?” Koh Lon asks. Xian Pu nods happily with a wicked lecherous grin. “That’s all well and good since Ling Ling, Lung Lung, Loe Sun, and Per Fume are going to be here soon.” Koh Lon says causing Xian Pu’s grin to go sour.

“Oh no Hiba-chan! Sword Mother made Panda talk! Airen have too too many fiancees without Shampoo having to share with sisters!” Xian Pu exclaims.

“That damned Genma! How many other fiancees do we have to deal with Shampoo?” Koh Lon asks in a serious tone.

“Panda-man confess too six engagements, one girl already gone, two more to show up, Airen meet new one last night. Sword Mother make one engagement, Demon Hunter Girl last one mentioned.” Xian Pu answers.

“Hmm, with you and your sisters that would be thirteen wives for Muko-dono.” Koh Lon says considering the possibilities. “Not even Muko-dono has that much endurance. He will have to learn some of Happosai’s ki draining techniques to even hope to keep up with that many wives.”

“Aiyah! Please no Hiba-chan!” Xian Pu pleads dropping to her knees, clasping her hands and giving her great-grandmother the sad puppy eyes. “No want Airen be evil pervert. Must be other way!”

“Ho ho ho, don’t worry Great Granddaughter.” Koh Lon reassures her. “The technique won’t make Muko-dono into an evil panty thief. Happy became a molester and panty thief because he had no luck with women, Ranma has too much luck with girls and will never have to grope unwilling maidens or steal bras and panties to fuel his ki, the women throwing themselves into his arms will supply a large surplus of female ki to restore his strength and stamina.”

“That right! Airen never have to grab other girls when Airen have many wives hugging him.” Xian Pu says in vast relief. “Most girls be too happy to have Airen grab them too, Airen too too handsome.”

“What else did you learn Shampoo?”

“Mercenary Girl and Sword Mother start plotting for matchmaking to fix up some fiancees with other men.” Xian Pu answers. “They talk about setting up sister-wives and some fiancees with Pantyhose Beast, Ninja Girl-Boy, Mousse and a few others I don’t know. Sword Mother happy with many wives for Airen, but think thirteen too many, feel wives should share Airen but thirteen ways being shared too much.”

“And how do you feel about their plans to set up your sister-wives?”

“Ling Ling, Lung Lung, Per Fume, and Loe Sun have only weak claim on Shampoo’s Airen. Shampoo not want to share too much. Want sisters to find good strong husbands besides Shampoo’s Airen. Sword Mother will not allow bad matches, Sword Mother nice and have much honor like Airen.”

“Did anyone know that you were there?”

“Sword Mother, Great Warrior Yosho, and Nice Girl Kasumi for sure, maybe Mercenary Girl, not sure about the others, but saw several looks passed around. Shampoo think they keep Panda-man and Crying Man in dark.” Xian Pu replies with a grin.

“Were you able to see the TV news about Muko-dono last night Shampoo?” Koh Lon asks. After seeing Xian Pu’s nod she asks. “What did you think of the monster in the park?”

“It look like Lost Soul that Airen butchered. Many dead girls and monsters in park last month. Shampoo think someone feeding girls Mermaid’s Flesh.” Xian Pu replies. “Maybe bad Immortal want Immortal girlfriend and no care how many die until one live. Sounds like one that needs to be shortened by a head.”

“Oh ho ho ho ho. No question about that, this psychotic is dead when someone catches up to him.” Koh Lon replies. “But I was wondering about your thoughts on Muko-dono’s Neko-Ken.”

“Aiyah! Neko-Ken claws too too sharp and long. Airen’s Neko-Ken too too deadly, Hiba-chan very smart give up fight for Phoenix Pill.” Xian Pu says. “If fight keep going Airen could have gotten hurt or angry. Fight become lose-lose for Hiba-chan, so decide lose small and let Airen win.”

“That’s right. I might have been able to get a good win, but didn’t like my chances.” Koh Lon says. “The chances for things to go very badly if the fight continued were great. Muko-dono really surprised me with that technique and I wasn’t prepared for it. Now I know better.”

“Oh? What Hiba-chan do now if see Airen in Neko-Ken?” Xian Pu asks.

“Why I’ll give him these.” Koh Lon says pulling from her sleeves a large steel wiffle-ball with a bell in it, a catnip chew toy, and several sticks of jerky causing Xian Pu to facefault and start laughing while rolling around on the floor. “But if he’s angry I’ll give him this.” Koh Lon says when Xian Pu stops laughing and gets up, showing her a black paper bouquet wrapper holding several long sticks of jerky and a few sprigs of catnip.

“Is one of Crazy Ribbon Girl’s flower wrappers. Is gas bomb right?” Xian Pu asks.

“Yes, Kodachi makes a mean paralysis gas bomb.” Koh Lon replies. “I’ve sent several of them back home to Poe Sun. It turns out to be the effect of the Kodachi Black Rose’s pollen.”

“Hmm, always thought Black Rose Girl smart, mostly just act crazy. Have to talk with Crazy Ribbon Girl and Spatula Girl soon about new arrangement with Airen. Too bad not get Sly Mercenary Girl when get rid of Angry Pervert Girl. Maybe not too late.” Xian Pu mused.

“That’s right. You have to track down and check out your possible new wives Shampoo.” Koh Lon tells her. “Since you are First Wife, you have as much say about them as Muko-dono. We should go to see this new fiancee at her shrine. We can take them some ramen and pork buns for lunch.”

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At the Okonomiyaki-ya called Ucchan’s another of Ranma’s fiancees was making her own plans.
“Konatsu, pack up enough ingredients to feed twenty, we’re taking the portable grill to that shrine in Juuban to see Ranchan for lunch.” Ukyo calls out to her ninja waitress. “I’ve got to apologize for the way I acted at the wedding, and figure catering lunch for them at the shrine should help.”

“How do you know Ranma-sama is going to be at the shrine for lunch Ukyo-sama?” the cross-dressing ninja asks as he starts to pack toppings into a backpack.

“It was easy, I bought the information from Nabiki-chan. The cell-phone she just got makes it so easy to keep up with what’s happening with Ranchan.” Ukyo replies. “For instance I also found out that the Miko at the Hikawa Shrine that we are going to is Ranchan’s fiancee. Also Nodoka-sama threw out Akane-san’s engagement and the Tendos have shifted their engagement to a younger cousin from Juuban.”

“Knowing Nabiki-san that information must have been very expensive Ukyo-sama.” Konatsu remarks.

“Not really, I made a deal with Nabiki awhile ago. For 3 meals for her and a guest each week she will provide me with any important information about what Ranchan is up to.” Ukyo tells him proudly. “I drove a hard bargain when Nabiki was desperate. It was just after Taro-san and some girl named Rouge tore up the Tendo-ke, and Akane got mad and decided to cook dinner. Nabiki fled from the house with Kasumi-chan without any money for dinner. When they ended up here I was happy to feed them and save them from the Destroyer of Kitchens’ toxic food and made that deal with Nabiki so that she and her sister will have a safe place to escape from their own little sister, and if Nabiki doesn’t use the meals during the week she’ll bring some of her henchgirls over on Saturday for a small okonomiyaki party.”

“Ah, that explains why Nabiki-san and Kasumi-san come over so often.” Konatsu says. “But why do you let Kasumi take over the grill while you run an errand?”

“Well, I still have to try and save Ranchan from Akane-chan’s kitchen experiment when they both show up.” answers Ukyo. “So I whip up several okonomiyaki for Ranchan when they call and go to deliver them after Kasumi gets here. That way Ranchan has something good to eat after he purges his body of any poisons he was forced to consume. I’m not sure what Akane eats, but I’m sure that it isn’t her own cooking.”

“Ukyo-sama. How are we going to get to the shrine with all this?” Konatsu asks shouldering his backpack full of ingredients.

“Nabiki-san told me that the Hikawa Shrine is right at the Sendaizaka Ue bus stop, we just have to make a transfer too the Red #66 bus after we get into Juuban and that’ll put us almost at the foot of the stairs to shrine.” Ukyo replies while putting her grill into a ki pocket. “The directions cost me a little extra, so Nabiki and her cousin Ami get free lunches from us when we get there. I’m lucky that Nabiki-chan has a weakness for good okonomiyaki, can you imagine how much yen she would get from the Kunos for this info?”Converting /tmp/phpnxCIHe to /dev/stdout