Crossover Fan Fiction / Devil Hunter Yohko Fan Fiction / Mermaid's Saga Fan Fiction / Ah My Goddess Fan Fiction / Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction / Sailor Moon Fan Fiction / Tenchi Muyo Fan Fiction ❯ Ranma Crossing Over too the Wild Side ❯ Waiting for Lunch ( Chapter 12 )
[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]
Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters, but I'm not trying to make any money off this so I guess it's OK then.
This is a Ranma continuation and multi-cross-over with Sailor Moon, Tenchi Muyo!, Mermaid Saga, Ah! Megami-sama, and Mamono Hunter Yohko.
This is my first time writing a fan fiction, so please review and tell me what you think.
At the Hikawa Shine in Juuban a red-haired woman was trying to get her female son off her lap.
"Ranko, wake up Ranko-chan, it’s almost lunch time." Nodoka says, shaking the red-haired girl laying across her legs.
"Hmm lunch." Ranma-chan says opening her eyes and looking around. "Wha! What happened? Oh Mom, why am I on your lap?" She asks as she gets up.
"Well dear, you've been in the Neko-Ken most of the morning. You played around with everyone, Rei did a silly lion-tamer act, you sparred with your Grandfather, and even got to rough up Ryoko. Then after you got tired you came over and sat on my lap until you fell asleep." Nodoka tells her son. "Now you need to wash up and change for lunch."
"Change or just change clothes?" Ranma-chan asks.
"Both dear, the press and the police left hours ago, now its just friends and family here."
“Uhm, don’t you mean fiancees and family?”
“No, I’m certain that at least four of the girls here aren’t your fiancee, . . . yet anyway.” Nodoka says as Ranma leaves for the bathroom. “But I’m not sure of the other girl, still that leaves at least two fiancees here. Oh dear, I wonder if they know about that?”
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Four teenage girls gathered together in Rei’s bedroom for some girl talk.
Ami starts out. “Nabiki-oneechan these are my friends Hino Rei, the shrine maiden here, and Aino Minako who goes to my school. Girls this is my cousin Tendo Nabiki, the Ice Queen of Furinkan High.”
Nabiki is trying to keep her poker face as she thinks, ‘Kami, I’m stuck in a room with three of the new fiancees.’ Then she says, “It’s nice to meet you Rei-chan, Minako-chan.”
“Hello Nabiki-chan.” Minako says greeting her warmly.
“I’m pleased to meet you Nabiki-chan. It’s too bad what happened at your sister’s wedding.” Rei says. “How is she handling this?”
“Oh yes, what a horrible thing to happen to a girl.” Minako says. “Her wedding being totally destroyed like that and then the groom runs off.”
“Well, I wouldn’t say that he ran out on her.” Nabiki replies. “Not after she insulted him and attacked him and caused him to go into the Neko-Ken. As for my sister Akane, well she isn’t taking this very well. Auntie Nodoka was very upset with Akane’s actions at the wedding and broke her engagement to Ranma-kun because of her insulting Ranma’s honor and that of her family. When I left this morning she was already taking out her frustrations on the wreckage from the Dojo.”
“Yes, Akane-chan does have some anger management issues what she need to resolve.” Ami says in a disapproving tone. “This was the last straw for Auntie Nodoka. She doesn’t have Ranma-kun’s tolerance for abuse and doesn’t see why he should have to put up with it.”
“Ami! Your taking Ranma’s side on this against your own cousin?” Minako asks surprised that her usually meek friend was siding with HIM.
“Hmpf. I’ve had to watch Ranma take abuse from Akane-san and about everyone else that came by whenever I visited for the last two years.” Ami replies angrily. “The only one I know that didn’t abuse him in one way or another was Kasumi-oneechan. They blamed everything that went wrong on Ranma-kun, anything his fiancees or rivals did was his fault and Akane-san would hit Ranma-kun for the silliest of reasons.”
“That’s not fair Ami-chan.” Nabiki says coldly. “Kasumi and I couldn’t very well take Ranma-kun’s side when his own father wouldn’t. We had to stand aside and support Ranma-kun as much as we could without breaking with our family.”
“Gomen Nabiki-chan. I know I had to do the same thing when I was visiting.” Ami says apologizing while looking at the floor. “It must have been much harder for you, what with everything you had to do too keep your family in the black.”
“Its OK Ami-chan.” Nabiki says patting Ami’s shoulder. “Maybe now that Ranma-kun is moving out I can make up for some of what I did to him, since I won’t have to make money by exploiting him anymore.”
“And why did you have to exploit Ranma-kun for money?” Rei angrily asks Nabiki.
“Hmm, I’ll tell you for only 2,000 yen.” Nabiki offers.
“Nani! Why should I pay you for/” Rei yells at Nabiki before being cut off by Ami.
“Rei! I’ll tell you.” Ami says interrupting Rei. “Nabiki is like that because of her family. She has had to handle the household budget and support the family with the money she makes off of betting pools, selling information, and even selling pictures of Ranma-kun, Ranko-chan and Akane-chan to their admirers. She even charges family for information. After Ranma-kun and his father Genma started living with them the food budget more than doubled, and repairs to the house averaged 20,000 yen a week most of the time even with doing most of the work themselves.”
“Why would you need that much for repairs?” Minako asks Nabiki. “It seems like a lot just for building materials.”
“Damage from the many fights that Ranma is in.” Nabiki replies. “His fault or not they are still due to his presence. Holes from people being thrown or smashed through the walls, windows, floor, ceiling, roof, even the stone wall around the property or some people just making a hole in a wall when a door was inconvenient.”
“And they don’t end up in the hospital when this happens?” Minako asks in shock.
“Of course not! None of these people can be considered normal, Ranma’s rivals and his first nine fiancees have spent most of their childhoods doing harsh martial arts training.” Nabiki tells her. “None of them have been trained even half as harshly as Ranma-kun himself of course. My little sister Akane is the least capable in speed, skill, and maybe toughness, but she has incredible brute strength when she is enraged and can beat up two dozen hormonal boys in under a minute.”
“Wait, back up a minute! You said NINE fiancees?!” Rei yells when it sinks in.
“No, I said the first nine fiancees. Ranma has gotten rid of one of them in a challenge race, and four more are Amazons with lesser claims on him, and Akane has lost her claim because of her temper.” Nabiki explains to Rei. “So of those nine you should only have to worry about three of them. That’ll be 1,000 yen, and for an additional 1,000 yen each I can tell you about those three.”
“Grrrr” Rei growled as she went to her headboard for her purse.
“Just give her 1,000 Rei. I can tell you about the other fiancees if you want.” Ami says. “But I don’t see why your so interested in Ranma-kun’s fiancees.”
“Of course I’m interested in my fiancé’s other fiancees!” Rei tells Ami in a harsh tone, still digging in her purse for some money. “He has already mentioned that the competition is really fierce at times and I want to be prepared.”
Ami’s face goes pale and she stutters out “Y-y-your e-e-en-gaged to Ranma?” While pointing a shaking finger at Rei as Nabiki loses her poker face and falls to the floor howling in laughter.
“Yeah, I found out last night.” Rei say turning around. When she gets a look at Ami she asks, “Ami! You look like someone just walked over your grave or stole your homework or something. What’s wrong?”
“Uh. Uhm. . . . How did you get en-engaged to Ranma-kun?” Ami asks Rei still in shock.
“Well, Ranma was the boy who I found in the Neko-Ken nine years ago, and we got close during the month he spent here before his father was well enough to travel again.” Rei tells her. “Before they left my father and grandfather talked with Ranma’s father and they ended up betrothing me to Ranma. I heard that Genma ended up with 500,000 yen as well as several rare scrolls of ki techniques. They never came back, and Gramps didn’t tell me about it until after we brought Neko-Ranma-chan home last night.”
“Oh. I see.” Ami says pulling herself together. Then she kicks Nabiki yelling “This isn’t funny!”
“Yes it is!” Nabiki yells from the floor, still busting a gut laughing at her cousin. “Let’s see you explain this one my dear genius cousin.”
Rei is watching Ami suspiciously while Minako goes over to comfort her friend. “Ami? What’s wrong Ami?” Minako asks putting her arm around Ami. “What does she think is so funny?”
“Uh . . . well you see, after you dropped me off. Mom had gotten off her shift at the hospital, and we went to the Tendo-ke over in Nerima to see my cousins after that horrible wedding fiasco, too offer our support.” Ami explains in a low voice. “Ranma-kun’s mother had already broken his engagement to my cousin Akane, and her sisters refused the engagement on the grounds that it would destroy the Wa of the house and tear the family apart.”
“That sounds about right from what I’ve heard of your cousin Akane.” Rei says. “Her anger and jealousy would fester with one of her own sisters being engaged to her x-fiancé.”
“True. But Mom is Tendo Soun’s younger sister, and after her divorce we went back on the Tendo clan register even though we didn’t change our names.” Ami explains. “That means that Uncle Soun is our clan head and transferred the engagement to me. By this time next week I’ll be Tendo Ami, and I’m the newest fiancee of Saotome Ranma.” she says bowing to Rei while Minako is stuck with her jaw hanging loose and Nabiki starts another laughing fit from her spot on the floor.
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A little ways down the street from the stairs leading up to the Hikawa Shrine is a bus stop. At this bus stop a girl wearing an okonomiyaki chef outfit including a slung Uber-Spatula was helping a boy wearing an elegant kimono with a heavy backpack step from the bus.
“See Konatsu, we made it in plenty of time.” Ukyo says after they get clear of the crowd.
“I hate riding busses Ukyo-sama.” Konatsu complains, “I always have a bunch of perverts flirting with me, and they won’t even stop when I tell them I not gay.”
“Uh ... Konatsu, Sugar I think those guys think that you’re a girl.” Ukyo explains to him. “It probably has something to do with how you dress and your very tasteful makeup.”
“Oh. So when I say that I’m not gay, they think I’m saying that I’m not a lesbian since they think I’m a girl.” Konatsu says realizing the problem. “So I should tell them that I’m a guy then, right Ukyo-sama?”
“Well, that might not be the best thing to do either.” Ukyo replies thinking about the strange problem. “Maybe you should tell them that you only like girls, meaning that you’re a straight guy, but leaving them with the impression that you’re a lesbian without calling attention to the fact that you’re really a good cross-dresser.”
“Hmm, I can see your point Ukyo-sama.” Konatsu replies. “That should provide the best results while avoiding stirring up more problems without actually lying to anyone. But what should I do about the ones that feel me up?”
“Oh, those guys.” Ukyo says. “I’d say a little discrete violence is called for, step on their toes, kick their shins, if they are standing close you can knee their balls, etc. but if they cause a scene go ahead and give them a stinging face-slap.”
Just before they start up the steps they hear a familiar and ominous sound from behind them.
#Ring# #ring#
They both turn around and wait for the blue-haired Amazon wearing a pink form-fitting pantsuit to bring her bike to a stop next to them. On the back of Shampoo’s bike a couple of ramen delivery boxes are strapped down with Cologne riding on top of them.
“Nihao. What Spat/” #whap# “Aiyah, what Ukyo. . .-san doing here?” Shampoo says, getting bonked by Cologne for being rude.
“Probably the same as you Sugar. Bringing lunch to Ranchan and the others here at the shrine.” Ukyo says. “Why is Cologne making you be polite to me?”
“Is simple.” Shampoo says getting off her bike and putting down the kick stand. “You come with me a minute and Shampoo tell you.”
“Ok, sugar.” Ukyo say walking with Shampoo a little ways down the sidewalk. “So what’s going on?”
“Shampoo find out about Violent Pervert Girl no longer Airen’s fiancee, also find out about Airen’s family.” Shampoo says while bouncing up and down in joy. “All rules change. We no need too fight over Airen. Shampoo too too happy. Ukyo-san hold still for second is Ok?”
“Alright.” Ukyo says, then Shampoo puts her arms around her neck and leans into her. Ukyo says “Nan/” #Mmmpff# as Shampoo kisses her on the lips. Ukyo’s eyes go wide and she stiffens in shock as Shampoo keeps their lips together.
Shampoo performs an Amazon Glomp on Ukyo entrapping her arms at her sides while Shampoo gets to snuggle against her while she says. “Shampoo too happy to have Ukyo-chan as sister-wife. We work together now to get Airen to join us, yes?”
Ukyo at this point isn’t up to using multi-syllable words yet, so she says “Uh . . . yes? . . . Wha? Hunh.” still in shock from the kiss and Shampoo rubbing up and down against her breasts is making her feel all hot and bothered and confused at the same time, her face blushing. ‘Uhm ... this means I’m married to Shampoo who is Ranchan’s Amazon wife.’ Ukyo thinks to herself. ‘So this means I’m also married to Ranchan by Amazon Law at least right? I would think so. So now we just need to drag Ranchan to bed or something I guess. But what about the other fiancees? Are we going to marry them too? How many wives are we going to have in this marriage?’
But then her thoughts return to reality and she realizes that Shampoo had just given her a passionate kiss in public and was even now draped all over her nuzzling her face like a cat. This causes Ukyo’s face to blush a dark red as she gets deeply embarrassed by this public display of affection so she begins to struggle against the Glomp.
When Shampoo feels Ukyo struggle she releases the Glomp and steps back just in time to see Ukyo unlimber her Mega-Spatula and take a mighty swing, throwing Shampoo straight back up against the hills concrete retaining wall.
Shampoo is laying upright against the retaining wall trying to regain her breath after that hit as Ukyo slings her massive spatula and walks up to her and delivers a slap that rings her ears and causes her cheek to burn with a red hand-print. “Don’t Ever Kiss Me in PUBLIC!” Ukyo yells at her. “Do you know how embarrassing that is for a girl?!”
When Ukyo sees that Shampoo is still hyperventilating and holding her cheek after a few seconds she goes over and pulls her from the wall and supports her with an arm around her shoulders. “Come on Sugar, lets go see Ranchan.” she says leading Shampoo back to her bike where Cologne and Konatsu are waiting, staring at the two of them.
“See Konatsu-honey, that’s how you slap someone that embarrasses you.” Ukyo says when she reaches them. “Sorry about that Shampoo-honey, but you shouldn’t do that in public with another girl.”
“Is OK, Shampoo remember not to embarrass Ucchan from now on.” she replies. “Aiyah! Is good thing you is wife or Hiba-chan make me give Kiss of Death.”
“Alright you two, lets go up there and see Muko-dono and his family.” Cologne tells them as she starts pogoing up the steps on her staff. So Shampoo shoulders her bike and climbs up the stairs with Ukyo and Konatsu.
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Sitting around the table the priest Hino Akura sat talking with the visiting priest from the Masaki Shrine and his companions about the dreaded Neko-Ken technique that they had just witnessed in action.
“Well, as you can see the Neko personality is quite friendly to most people, and places value on human life.” Akura says. “But will not hesitate in killing a vicious beast or monster.”
“Yet at the wedding the Neko-Ken was angered enough to attack several people.” Katsuhito says. “He injured the Hibiki boy severely and was distracted from attacking the girls by Happosai, and chased the old hentai for several miles before losing track of him when he was caught in the cloud of a pepper grenade.”
“But from what I saw of the wedding video, Neko-Ranma-chan sought out Tendo Akane and wanted petted at first.” Washu replies. “It wasn’t until after she was assaulted in the Neko-Ken that she became angered enough to attack, even then the attacks were not with lethal intent. But against the monster at the park and then the vicious dog the Neko-Ken was used with lethal force from the outset of the fight. It may be important to understand why.”
“Well, when we were playing with Neko-Ranma-chan, she knew that we were playing.” Ryoko tells them. “It may be that the Neko-Ken or Ranma can read the intentions of an opponent and used lethal force against only those with killing intent.”
“That is very likely. With Ranma-dono’s blood-line and extensive martial training he has likely developed his higher senses to a great extent.” Ayeka replies. “The Neko-Ken would use the higher senses with it’s cat-like instincts to judge intentions and such.”
“Hmm yes, that might explain why Ranma’s Neko-Ken behaves so differently from the other Neko-Ken victims I’ve heard of and seen in the past.” Katsuhito says. “Most Neko-Ken victims would usually trust no one near them, and would viciously attack those that came near. But if Ranma is using his aura reading abilities subconsciously in the Neko-Ken then he would know who to trust and when to kill.”
“Ranma’s ability to sense the emotions of ki was apparent even when he was a young boy.” Akura says. “Rei would have to pull the tails of the cats we used in Ranma’s Neko-Tolerance training for the cats to really scare Ranma enough to trigger the technique. A calm cat would only make Ranma uncomfortable and scared, but when the cat became upset enough to fight, then the Neko-Ken could be triggered. We then worked on building up his tolerance for the angry ki of cats until not even two large angry tomcats could trigger the Neko-Ken. At that point we felt it was safe for Ranma to leave here.”
“Excellent! This explains so much.” Washu exclaims. “When the Tendos found out about his fear they hung a dozen house-cats on Ranma and just reduced him to a frozen state. It took an upset tiger to trigger the Neko-Ken in the under-stage area of the Furinken gym. Then twice it was Shampoo in cat-form that scared Ranma into the Neko-Ken. The first time she was probably upset with Akane’s manhandling her, this last time I’m sure that she was quite ready to attack Akane. The only other time was when the BakeNeko Mao-Mo-Lin was licking Ranma-chan’s face, while this didn’t involve any angry ki from a cat, it was probably the only time that Ranma was ever angry enough to fight a cat.”
“Washu-chan, how did you learn so much about Ranma-dono’s Neko-Ken?” Ayeka asks. “We only arrived last night.”
“Simple, I bought the information from the best local source for a reasonable price.” Washu explains.
“She traded Nabiki-san a high-tech CD/radio RAM player with 600 Terrabytes of memory for the chance to scan all of Nabiki’s notes on Ranma.” Ryouko tells them.
“Ah ha, Nabiki-san got a great deal.” Ayeka says. “That RAM player should be able to hold every bit of recorded music on this planet in it’s memory.”
“But Ayeka-chan, I also got to scan all of Nabiki’s pictures of both Ranma’s boy and girl forms. Those pictures are so worth it.” Washu replies. “But back to the subject of the Neko-Ken, with further examination of the videos Neko-Ranma-chan can vary length of her claws at will out to a full meter in length and is capable of blunting her claws as well. She did use her claws on the dog, we just thought that was beyond her reach. In her sparring with Katsuhito and Ryouko I have some good shots of the maximum extension and her blunting ability.”
“Yes, I for one am glad that she can blunt her claws.” Katsuhito says. “There were several times I couldn’t parry all of his claws, or that he locked up my bokken with one hand and swatted me with the other, or even his feet. But I don’t think he can extend his foot claws beyond about 20 cm.”
“Ah! The claws on her feet!” Washu exclaims. “That explains the close spacing of these eviscerating wounds on the monster in the park.” She says calling up a picture of the belly of the monster showing 2 sets of 5 closely spaced deep cuts into the belly. “I thought it was odd that they weren’t splayed out further, but Ranma-chan has fairly dainty feet.”
“Oh, that would explain the deep wounds on the shoulders.” Ryoko says. “She jumped onto the beast then griped with her hands and kicked down once she got her feet planted in it’s stomach. Neko-Ranma-chan probably took all the fight out of the monster with that one attack.”
“I don’t think so, Ryoko. The fight continued for at least a minute.” Katsuhito replies. “You would think that it would collapse immediately and bleed out from those injuries.”
“The other monsters of this type have all taken a large amount of damage to kill.” Akura explains. “The police have tried to kill two of them so far. Even a head shot with a rifle wasn’t sufficient to kill them, permanently. The Sailor Senshi that operate here in Juuban usually incapacitate the monster with ranged lightning and fire attacks and then remove it’s head.”
#Whap# #whap# They hear from the direction of the front door.
“Ah, that should be lunch being delivered.” Akura says getting up to answer the door.
“Oh? What did you order?” Katsuhito asks.
“Nabiki-chan said that she ordered enough okonomiyaki, ramen and pork buns for everyone.” He answers.
“No. She wouldn’t.” Ayeka says in a whisper.
“Right. Knowing Nabiki, that’s exactly what she did.” Ryoko tells her rival.
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The old priest of the shrine answered the door to see a shrunken ancient creature balanced on a staff on his porch. “AHH! A day-walking Gaki!” Akura exclaims. “You must be powerful indeed to have made it past the shrine wards. What must we do too appease you?”
“Oh ho ho ho ho, you must place your Miko under my training to prove her worthiness.” Cologne says in a evil hag tone of voice.
Akura’s face goes white upon hearing this demand, but stands firm and gathers his resolve before saying, “I can not do that without her permission, as well as needing several binding oaths and assurances of her good treatment and release from your service. She is my own beloved granddaughter, and she would beat me severely for any rash agreement.”
“Good, good. It sounds as if she has potential then.” Cologne replies. “She also has a caring grandfather to look after her. So unlike poor Muko-dono who was raised by a stupid, cruel and uncaring taskmaster.”
Shampoo hurries up to the porch and scolds her great-grandmother. “Hiba-chan, quit scaring customer! Is why we ask you no make deliveries.” She says in her cute sing-song voice. “What you say to scare priest so much?”
“I merely asked to train his granddaughter to judge her worthiness.” Cologne replies.
“Is good idea! Shampoo no want useless wife.” Shampoo says to the priest. “It give Shampoo chance to know potential wife.”
“Hey Obasan, can I get in on this training?” Ukyo asks as she makes it up the last few steps. “I need to meet the new girls as well.”
“Wait a minute!” the priest yells. “Why would my granddaughter marry even a beautiful girl like you when she already has a fine fiancé? And I don’t see where this would concern you young man.” he says to Ukyo.
“Humph. Miko would marry Shampoo because Miko’s fiancé is Shampoo’s Airen.” Shampoo answers him in a slightly put-off tone, crossing her arms across her chest.
“And what young man are you talking about Old Man?” Ukyo say putting down her grill, tightening her jacket’s belt and posing to show off her bust, hips, and hair in profile. “I’m Ranchan’s Kawaii Fiancee, Kuonji Ukyo!” (Think Sailor Mars’s transformation pose but with Ukyo in her blue tunic and black tights with a battle-spatula on her back, and remember how good Ukyo looked in that bunny outfit when held captive by Konatsu’s step-family or in a swimming-suit in the Miss Beachside episode.)
This caused the old man’s eyes to bug out and sent him into a coughing fit as he realizes that these two gorgeous girls were Ranma’s fiancees, they were both expert martial artists, they were here to see his granddaughter, and there was no way she could handle one of them in a fight, let alone both of them since she only held a Brown Belt in Jujutsu.
“Ano, why are you girls here? You’re not going to cause trouble are you?” he asks.
“Shampoo no cause trouble. Just inviting self over for lunch.” Shampoo answers in her sing-song voice.
“That’s right Sugar, just show me where to set up the grill and I’ll start whipping out the best okonomiyaki you’ve ever had.” Ukyo says. “We’re here to deliver your lunch, ramen, pork buns, and all you can eat okonomiyaki.”
Converting /tmp/php0L70N2 to /dev/stdout
This is a Ranma continuation and multi-cross-over with Sailor Moon, Tenchi Muyo!, Mermaid Saga, Ah! Megami-sama, and Mamono Hunter Yohko.
This is my first time writing a fan fiction, so please review and tell me what you think.
Ranma Crossing Over to the Wild Side
By Paul Bennett a.k.a. Shadowbakasama
Chapter 12: Waiting for LunchBy Paul Bennett a.k.a. Shadowbakasama
At the Hikawa Shine in Juuban a red-haired woman was trying to get her female son off her lap.
"Ranko, wake up Ranko-chan, it’s almost lunch time." Nodoka says, shaking the red-haired girl laying across her legs.
"Hmm lunch." Ranma-chan says opening her eyes and looking around. "Wha! What happened? Oh Mom, why am I on your lap?" She asks as she gets up.
"Well dear, you've been in the Neko-Ken most of the morning. You played around with everyone, Rei did a silly lion-tamer act, you sparred with your Grandfather, and even got to rough up Ryoko. Then after you got tired you came over and sat on my lap until you fell asleep." Nodoka tells her son. "Now you need to wash up and change for lunch."
"Change or just change clothes?" Ranma-chan asks.
"Both dear, the press and the police left hours ago, now its just friends and family here."
“Uhm, don’t you mean fiancees and family?”
“No, I’m certain that at least four of the girls here aren’t your fiancee, . . . yet anyway.” Nodoka says as Ranma leaves for the bathroom. “But I’m not sure of the other girl, still that leaves at least two fiancees here. Oh dear, I wonder if they know about that?”
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Four teenage girls gathered together in Rei’s bedroom for some girl talk.
Ami starts out. “Nabiki-oneechan these are my friends Hino Rei, the shrine maiden here, and Aino Minako who goes to my school. Girls this is my cousin Tendo Nabiki, the Ice Queen of Furinkan High.”
Nabiki is trying to keep her poker face as she thinks, ‘Kami, I’m stuck in a room with three of the new fiancees.’ Then she says, “It’s nice to meet you Rei-chan, Minako-chan.”
“Hello Nabiki-chan.” Minako says greeting her warmly.
“I’m pleased to meet you Nabiki-chan. It’s too bad what happened at your sister’s wedding.” Rei says. “How is she handling this?”
“Oh yes, what a horrible thing to happen to a girl.” Minako says. “Her wedding being totally destroyed like that and then the groom runs off.”
“Well, I wouldn’t say that he ran out on her.” Nabiki replies. “Not after she insulted him and attacked him and caused him to go into the Neko-Ken. As for my sister Akane, well she isn’t taking this very well. Auntie Nodoka was very upset with Akane’s actions at the wedding and broke her engagement to Ranma-kun because of her insulting Ranma’s honor and that of her family. When I left this morning she was already taking out her frustrations on the wreckage from the Dojo.”
“Yes, Akane-chan does have some anger management issues what she need to resolve.” Ami says in a disapproving tone. “This was the last straw for Auntie Nodoka. She doesn’t have Ranma-kun’s tolerance for abuse and doesn’t see why he should have to put up with it.”
“Ami! Your taking Ranma’s side on this against your own cousin?” Minako asks surprised that her usually meek friend was siding with HIM.
“Hmpf. I’ve had to watch Ranma take abuse from Akane-san and about everyone else that came by whenever I visited for the last two years.” Ami replies angrily. “The only one I know that didn’t abuse him in one way or another was Kasumi-oneechan. They blamed everything that went wrong on Ranma-kun, anything his fiancees or rivals did was his fault and Akane-san would hit Ranma-kun for the silliest of reasons.”
“That’s not fair Ami-chan.” Nabiki says coldly. “Kasumi and I couldn’t very well take Ranma-kun’s side when his own father wouldn’t. We had to stand aside and support Ranma-kun as much as we could without breaking with our family.”
“Gomen Nabiki-chan. I know I had to do the same thing when I was visiting.” Ami says apologizing while looking at the floor. “It must have been much harder for you, what with everything you had to do too keep your family in the black.”
“Its OK Ami-chan.” Nabiki says patting Ami’s shoulder. “Maybe now that Ranma-kun is moving out I can make up for some of what I did to him, since I won’t have to make money by exploiting him anymore.”
“And why did you have to exploit Ranma-kun for money?” Rei angrily asks Nabiki.
“Hmm, I’ll tell you for only 2,000 yen.” Nabiki offers.
“Nani! Why should I pay you for/” Rei yells at Nabiki before being cut off by Ami.
“Rei! I’ll tell you.” Ami says interrupting Rei. “Nabiki is like that because of her family. She has had to handle the household budget and support the family with the money she makes off of betting pools, selling information, and even selling pictures of Ranma-kun, Ranko-chan and Akane-chan to their admirers. She even charges family for information. After Ranma-kun and his father Genma started living with them the food budget more than doubled, and repairs to the house averaged 20,000 yen a week most of the time even with doing most of the work themselves.”
“Why would you need that much for repairs?” Minako asks Nabiki. “It seems like a lot just for building materials.”
“Damage from the many fights that Ranma is in.” Nabiki replies. “His fault or not they are still due to his presence. Holes from people being thrown or smashed through the walls, windows, floor, ceiling, roof, even the stone wall around the property or some people just making a hole in a wall when a door was inconvenient.”
“And they don’t end up in the hospital when this happens?” Minako asks in shock.
“Of course not! None of these people can be considered normal, Ranma’s rivals and his first nine fiancees have spent most of their childhoods doing harsh martial arts training.” Nabiki tells her. “None of them have been trained even half as harshly as Ranma-kun himself of course. My little sister Akane is the least capable in speed, skill, and maybe toughness, but she has incredible brute strength when she is enraged and can beat up two dozen hormonal boys in under a minute.”
“Wait, back up a minute! You said NINE fiancees?!” Rei yells when it sinks in.
“No, I said the first nine fiancees. Ranma has gotten rid of one of them in a challenge race, and four more are Amazons with lesser claims on him, and Akane has lost her claim because of her temper.” Nabiki explains to Rei. “So of those nine you should only have to worry about three of them. That’ll be 1,000 yen, and for an additional 1,000 yen each I can tell you about those three.”
“Grrrr” Rei growled as she went to her headboard for her purse.
“Just give her 1,000 Rei. I can tell you about the other fiancees if you want.” Ami says. “But I don’t see why your so interested in Ranma-kun’s fiancees.”
“Of course I’m interested in my fiancé’s other fiancees!” Rei tells Ami in a harsh tone, still digging in her purse for some money. “He has already mentioned that the competition is really fierce at times and I want to be prepared.”
Ami’s face goes pale and she stutters out “Y-y-your e-e-en-gaged to Ranma?” While pointing a shaking finger at Rei as Nabiki loses her poker face and falls to the floor howling in laughter.
“Yeah, I found out last night.” Rei say turning around. When she gets a look at Ami she asks, “Ami! You look like someone just walked over your grave or stole your homework or something. What’s wrong?”
“Uh. Uhm. . . . How did you get en-engaged to Ranma-kun?” Ami asks Rei still in shock.
“Well, Ranma was the boy who I found in the Neko-Ken nine years ago, and we got close during the month he spent here before his father was well enough to travel again.” Rei tells her. “Before they left my father and grandfather talked with Ranma’s father and they ended up betrothing me to Ranma. I heard that Genma ended up with 500,000 yen as well as several rare scrolls of ki techniques. They never came back, and Gramps didn’t tell me about it until after we brought Neko-Ranma-chan home last night.”
“Oh. I see.” Ami says pulling herself together. Then she kicks Nabiki yelling “This isn’t funny!”
“Yes it is!” Nabiki yells from the floor, still busting a gut laughing at her cousin. “Let’s see you explain this one my dear genius cousin.”
Rei is watching Ami suspiciously while Minako goes over to comfort her friend. “Ami? What’s wrong Ami?” Minako asks putting her arm around Ami. “What does she think is so funny?”
“Uh . . . well you see, after you dropped me off. Mom had gotten off her shift at the hospital, and we went to the Tendo-ke over in Nerima to see my cousins after that horrible wedding fiasco, too offer our support.” Ami explains in a low voice. “Ranma-kun’s mother had already broken his engagement to my cousin Akane, and her sisters refused the engagement on the grounds that it would destroy the Wa of the house and tear the family apart.”
“That sounds about right from what I’ve heard of your cousin Akane.” Rei says. “Her anger and jealousy would fester with one of her own sisters being engaged to her x-fiancé.”
“True. But Mom is Tendo Soun’s younger sister, and after her divorce we went back on the Tendo clan register even though we didn’t change our names.” Ami explains. “That means that Uncle Soun is our clan head and transferred the engagement to me. By this time next week I’ll be Tendo Ami, and I’m the newest fiancee of Saotome Ranma.” she says bowing to Rei while Minako is stuck with her jaw hanging loose and Nabiki starts another laughing fit from her spot on the floor.
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A little ways down the street from the stairs leading up to the Hikawa Shrine is a bus stop. At this bus stop a girl wearing an okonomiyaki chef outfit including a slung Uber-Spatula was helping a boy wearing an elegant kimono with a heavy backpack step from the bus.
“See Konatsu, we made it in plenty of time.” Ukyo says after they get clear of the crowd.
“I hate riding busses Ukyo-sama.” Konatsu complains, “I always have a bunch of perverts flirting with me, and they won’t even stop when I tell them I not gay.”
“Uh ... Konatsu, Sugar I think those guys think that you’re a girl.” Ukyo explains to him. “It probably has something to do with how you dress and your very tasteful makeup.”
“Oh. So when I say that I’m not gay, they think I’m saying that I’m not a lesbian since they think I’m a girl.” Konatsu says realizing the problem. “So I should tell them that I’m a guy then, right Ukyo-sama?”
“Well, that might not be the best thing to do either.” Ukyo replies thinking about the strange problem. “Maybe you should tell them that you only like girls, meaning that you’re a straight guy, but leaving them with the impression that you’re a lesbian without calling attention to the fact that you’re really a good cross-dresser.”
“Hmm, I can see your point Ukyo-sama.” Konatsu replies. “That should provide the best results while avoiding stirring up more problems without actually lying to anyone. But what should I do about the ones that feel me up?”
“Oh, those guys.” Ukyo says. “I’d say a little discrete violence is called for, step on their toes, kick their shins, if they are standing close you can knee their balls, etc. but if they cause a scene go ahead and give them a stinging face-slap.”
Just before they start up the steps they hear a familiar and ominous sound from behind them.
#Ring# #ring#
They both turn around and wait for the blue-haired Amazon wearing a pink form-fitting pantsuit to bring her bike to a stop next to them. On the back of Shampoo’s bike a couple of ramen delivery boxes are strapped down with Cologne riding on top of them.
“Nihao. What Spat/” #whap# “Aiyah, what Ukyo. . .-san doing here?” Shampoo says, getting bonked by Cologne for being rude.
“Probably the same as you Sugar. Bringing lunch to Ranchan and the others here at the shrine.” Ukyo says. “Why is Cologne making you be polite to me?”
“Is simple.” Shampoo says getting off her bike and putting down the kick stand. “You come with me a minute and Shampoo tell you.”
“Ok, sugar.” Ukyo say walking with Shampoo a little ways down the sidewalk. “So what’s going on?”
“Shampoo find out about Violent Pervert Girl no longer Airen’s fiancee, also find out about Airen’s family.” Shampoo says while bouncing up and down in joy. “All rules change. We no need too fight over Airen. Shampoo too too happy. Ukyo-san hold still for second is Ok?”
“Alright.” Ukyo says, then Shampoo puts her arms around her neck and leans into her. Ukyo says “Nan/” #Mmmpff# as Shampoo kisses her on the lips. Ukyo’s eyes go wide and she stiffens in shock as Shampoo keeps their lips together.
Shampoo performs an Amazon Glomp on Ukyo entrapping her arms at her sides while Shampoo gets to snuggle against her while she says. “Shampoo too happy to have Ukyo-chan as sister-wife. We work together now to get Airen to join us, yes?”
Ukyo at this point isn’t up to using multi-syllable words yet, so she says “Uh . . . yes? . . . Wha? Hunh.” still in shock from the kiss and Shampoo rubbing up and down against her breasts is making her feel all hot and bothered and confused at the same time, her face blushing. ‘Uhm ... this means I’m married to Shampoo who is Ranchan’s Amazon wife.’ Ukyo thinks to herself. ‘So this means I’m also married to Ranchan by Amazon Law at least right? I would think so. So now we just need to drag Ranchan to bed or something I guess. But what about the other fiancees? Are we going to marry them too? How many wives are we going to have in this marriage?’
But then her thoughts return to reality and she realizes that Shampoo had just given her a passionate kiss in public and was even now draped all over her nuzzling her face like a cat. This causes Ukyo’s face to blush a dark red as she gets deeply embarrassed by this public display of affection so she begins to struggle against the Glomp.
When Shampoo feels Ukyo struggle she releases the Glomp and steps back just in time to see Ukyo unlimber her Mega-Spatula and take a mighty swing, throwing Shampoo straight back up against the hills concrete retaining wall.
Shampoo is laying upright against the retaining wall trying to regain her breath after that hit as Ukyo slings her massive spatula and walks up to her and delivers a slap that rings her ears and causes her cheek to burn with a red hand-print. “Don’t Ever Kiss Me in PUBLIC!” Ukyo yells at her. “Do you know how embarrassing that is for a girl?!”
When Ukyo sees that Shampoo is still hyperventilating and holding her cheek after a few seconds she goes over and pulls her from the wall and supports her with an arm around her shoulders. “Come on Sugar, lets go see Ranchan.” she says leading Shampoo back to her bike where Cologne and Konatsu are waiting, staring at the two of them.
“See Konatsu-honey, that’s how you slap someone that embarrasses you.” Ukyo says when she reaches them. “Sorry about that Shampoo-honey, but you shouldn’t do that in public with another girl.”
“Is OK, Shampoo remember not to embarrass Ucchan from now on.” she replies. “Aiyah! Is good thing you is wife or Hiba-chan make me give Kiss of Death.”
“Alright you two, lets go up there and see Muko-dono and his family.” Cologne tells them as she starts pogoing up the steps on her staff. So Shampoo shoulders her bike and climbs up the stairs with Ukyo and Konatsu.
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Sitting around the table the priest Hino Akura sat talking with the visiting priest from the Masaki Shrine and his companions about the dreaded Neko-Ken technique that they had just witnessed in action.
“Well, as you can see the Neko personality is quite friendly to most people, and places value on human life.” Akura says. “But will not hesitate in killing a vicious beast or monster.”
“Yet at the wedding the Neko-Ken was angered enough to attack several people.” Katsuhito says. “He injured the Hibiki boy severely and was distracted from attacking the girls by Happosai, and chased the old hentai for several miles before losing track of him when he was caught in the cloud of a pepper grenade.”
“But from what I saw of the wedding video, Neko-Ranma-chan sought out Tendo Akane and wanted petted at first.” Washu replies. “It wasn’t until after she was assaulted in the Neko-Ken that she became angered enough to attack, even then the attacks were not with lethal intent. But against the monster at the park and then the vicious dog the Neko-Ken was used with lethal force from the outset of the fight. It may be important to understand why.”
“Well, when we were playing with Neko-Ranma-chan, she knew that we were playing.” Ryoko tells them. “It may be that the Neko-Ken or Ranma can read the intentions of an opponent and used lethal force against only those with killing intent.”
“That is very likely. With Ranma-dono’s blood-line and extensive martial training he has likely developed his higher senses to a great extent.” Ayeka replies. “The Neko-Ken would use the higher senses with it’s cat-like instincts to judge intentions and such.”
“Hmm yes, that might explain why Ranma’s Neko-Ken behaves so differently from the other Neko-Ken victims I’ve heard of and seen in the past.” Katsuhito says. “Most Neko-Ken victims would usually trust no one near them, and would viciously attack those that came near. But if Ranma is using his aura reading abilities subconsciously in the Neko-Ken then he would know who to trust and when to kill.”
“Ranma’s ability to sense the emotions of ki was apparent even when he was a young boy.” Akura says. “Rei would have to pull the tails of the cats we used in Ranma’s Neko-Tolerance training for the cats to really scare Ranma enough to trigger the technique. A calm cat would only make Ranma uncomfortable and scared, but when the cat became upset enough to fight, then the Neko-Ken could be triggered. We then worked on building up his tolerance for the angry ki of cats until not even two large angry tomcats could trigger the Neko-Ken. At that point we felt it was safe for Ranma to leave here.”
“Excellent! This explains so much.” Washu exclaims. “When the Tendos found out about his fear they hung a dozen house-cats on Ranma and just reduced him to a frozen state. It took an upset tiger to trigger the Neko-Ken in the under-stage area of the Furinken gym. Then twice it was Shampoo in cat-form that scared Ranma into the Neko-Ken. The first time she was probably upset with Akane’s manhandling her, this last time I’m sure that she was quite ready to attack Akane. The only other time was when the BakeNeko Mao-Mo-Lin was licking Ranma-chan’s face, while this didn’t involve any angry ki from a cat, it was probably the only time that Ranma was ever angry enough to fight a cat.”
“Washu-chan, how did you learn so much about Ranma-dono’s Neko-Ken?” Ayeka asks. “We only arrived last night.”
“Simple, I bought the information from the best local source for a reasonable price.” Washu explains.
“She traded Nabiki-san a high-tech CD/radio RAM player with 600 Terrabytes of memory for the chance to scan all of Nabiki’s notes on Ranma.” Ryouko tells them.
“Ah ha, Nabiki-san got a great deal.” Ayeka says. “That RAM player should be able to hold every bit of recorded music on this planet in it’s memory.”
“But Ayeka-chan, I also got to scan all of Nabiki’s pictures of both Ranma’s boy and girl forms. Those pictures are so worth it.” Washu replies. “But back to the subject of the Neko-Ken, with further examination of the videos Neko-Ranma-chan can vary length of her claws at will out to a full meter in length and is capable of blunting her claws as well. She did use her claws on the dog, we just thought that was beyond her reach. In her sparring with Katsuhito and Ryouko I have some good shots of the maximum extension and her blunting ability.”
“Yes, I for one am glad that she can blunt her claws.” Katsuhito says. “There were several times I couldn’t parry all of his claws, or that he locked up my bokken with one hand and swatted me with the other, or even his feet. But I don’t think he can extend his foot claws beyond about 20 cm.”
“Ah! The claws on her feet!” Washu exclaims. “That explains the close spacing of these eviscerating wounds on the monster in the park.” She says calling up a picture of the belly of the monster showing 2 sets of 5 closely spaced deep cuts into the belly. “I thought it was odd that they weren’t splayed out further, but Ranma-chan has fairly dainty feet.”
“Oh, that would explain the deep wounds on the shoulders.” Ryoko says. “She jumped onto the beast then griped with her hands and kicked down once she got her feet planted in it’s stomach. Neko-Ranma-chan probably took all the fight out of the monster with that one attack.”
“I don’t think so, Ryoko. The fight continued for at least a minute.” Katsuhito replies. “You would think that it would collapse immediately and bleed out from those injuries.”
“The other monsters of this type have all taken a large amount of damage to kill.” Akura explains. “The police have tried to kill two of them so far. Even a head shot with a rifle wasn’t sufficient to kill them, permanently. The Sailor Senshi that operate here in Juuban usually incapacitate the monster with ranged lightning and fire attacks and then remove it’s head.”
#Whap# #whap# They hear from the direction of the front door.
“Ah, that should be lunch being delivered.” Akura says getting up to answer the door.
“Oh? What did you order?” Katsuhito asks.
“Nabiki-chan said that she ordered enough okonomiyaki, ramen and pork buns for everyone.” He answers.
“No. She wouldn’t.” Ayeka says in a whisper.
“Right. Knowing Nabiki, that’s exactly what she did.” Ryoko tells her rival.
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The old priest of the shrine answered the door to see a shrunken ancient creature balanced on a staff on his porch. “AHH! A day-walking Gaki!” Akura exclaims. “You must be powerful indeed to have made it past the shrine wards. What must we do too appease you?”
“Oh ho ho ho ho, you must place your Miko under my training to prove her worthiness.” Cologne says in a evil hag tone of voice.
Akura’s face goes white upon hearing this demand, but stands firm and gathers his resolve before saying, “I can not do that without her permission, as well as needing several binding oaths and assurances of her good treatment and release from your service. She is my own beloved granddaughter, and she would beat me severely for any rash agreement.”
“Good, good. It sounds as if she has potential then.” Cologne replies. “She also has a caring grandfather to look after her. So unlike poor Muko-dono who was raised by a stupid, cruel and uncaring taskmaster.”
Shampoo hurries up to the porch and scolds her great-grandmother. “Hiba-chan, quit scaring customer! Is why we ask you no make deliveries.” She says in her cute sing-song voice. “What you say to scare priest so much?”
“I merely asked to train his granddaughter to judge her worthiness.” Cologne replies.
“Is good idea! Shampoo no want useless wife.” Shampoo says to the priest. “It give Shampoo chance to know potential wife.”
“Hey Obasan, can I get in on this training?” Ukyo asks as she makes it up the last few steps. “I need to meet the new girls as well.”
“Wait a minute!” the priest yells. “Why would my granddaughter marry even a beautiful girl like you when she already has a fine fiancé? And I don’t see where this would concern you young man.” he says to Ukyo.
“Humph. Miko would marry Shampoo because Miko’s fiancé is Shampoo’s Airen.” Shampoo answers him in a slightly put-off tone, crossing her arms across her chest.
“And what young man are you talking about Old Man?” Ukyo say putting down her grill, tightening her jacket’s belt and posing to show off her bust, hips, and hair in profile. “I’m Ranchan’s Kawaii Fiancee, Kuonji Ukyo!” (Think Sailor Mars’s transformation pose but with Ukyo in her blue tunic and black tights with a battle-spatula on her back, and remember how good Ukyo looked in that bunny outfit when held captive by Konatsu’s step-family or in a swimming-suit in the Miss Beachside episode.)
This caused the old man’s eyes to bug out and sent him into a coughing fit as he realizes that these two gorgeous girls were Ranma’s fiancees, they were both expert martial artists, they were here to see his granddaughter, and there was no way she could handle one of them in a fight, let alone both of them since she only held a Brown Belt in Jujutsu.
“Ano, why are you girls here? You’re not going to cause trouble are you?” he asks.
“Shampoo no cause trouble. Just inviting self over for lunch.” Shampoo answers in her sing-song voice.
“That’s right Sugar, just show me where to set up the grill and I’ll start whipping out the best okonomiyaki you’ve ever had.” Ukyo says. “We’re here to deliver your lunch, ramen, pork buns, and all you can eat okonomiyaki.”
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