Crossover Fan Fiction / Neon Genesis Evangelion Fan Fiction / Tenchi Muyo Fan Fiction ❯ Reason And Accountability ❯ Misato's Squidlispooge ( Chapter 7 )

SIX

Unfamiliar ceiling. This time it wasn’t in a hospital. I looked around and opened some doors before finding a bathroom, relieving myself and then washing my hands and staring into the mirror. So this is what Shinji Ikari looked like in 3D. I washed his face and returned to his bedroom, looking for a calendar. The TV series is before smart phones so they don’t have them. No luck. I pulled on school clothes from the hangers in the closet (good on him being a neat freak) and headed into the kitchen, turning on the TV and starting the breakfast. Thanks to be the primary caregiver for the cutest little sister in the world I can cook any type of meal. This requires both education, manual dexterity (I still have all my fingers), and willingness to learn from your mistakes. Wait, that’s three, not both. Ahem. I need coffee. I made some.

Coffee and Shinji Ikari are an interesting combination. It makes him wildly awake because apparently he only drinks weak green tea in the mornings, and for some reason it makes him angry. I am literally fighting back the impulses he’s got to pre-taliate to Asuka who is sleeping late again. From doors I heard snoring from two separate rooms so I expect this means Asuka is here. In the show she was a relentless bitch, not even tsundere. Just tsun. Continuous nagging rage. Shinji usually backed down rather than sass her till she stopped it, and I personally think he’s doing this wrong. Asuka’s issues are deep and serious and require both medication and probably hospitalization until her issues are either talked out or burned out with electroshock. Probably not a good idea for a pilot you rely on to save the world, but to make a zombie girl others can stand? Probably needed. Just thinking about it was making Shinji anxious and angry and the coffee jitters are multiplying this.

The tv news said it was a Wednesday, so school is on the menu probably, and I continued cooking stuff for breakfast before knocking on doors and plating stuff. Misato entered the bathroom first and came out a short time later in her underwear and a pullover bra, the kind she liked to sleep it. It was not sexy. She sleepwalked to the fridge for her morning beer so I zapped her with Heal Other, curing her hangover and fixing her wrinkles, the tendons in her tits that makes them sag tightened so they rose like a teenagers, and started on her main injury, the abdominal scar that cost her her reproductive organs, her womb in particular was lost to that injury during Third Impact in Antarctica. So I started regrowing it and her ovaries.

“Breakfast is ready. Sit down and eat,” I commanded. She sat. I started eating with my right hand, left still running the spell under the table. Misato was out of sorts, sipping her beer and eating breakfast like a zombie. She was probably up really late doing Nerv stuff. After I finished the repairs to her body I added a bit of effort at her liver and kidneys, restoring them both to pristine condition.

“Huh. This beer is kinda hitting me real hard for some reason. And I feel really full,” she muttered. She had a womb now and it was pressing into her guts and her stomach had less room. She put down the fork, and the beer and meandered past Asuka, who left the bathroom in her uniform, hair up and looking nice, sitting at the table as I finished up my meal.

“Morning nerd,” she casually insulted me.

“Morning bitch,” I replied savagely, taking my plate away and dumping the scraps.

“What did you say to me?” she shrieked. Typical Asuka.  

“Asuka! No screaming this early in the morning!” yelled Misato from the other room.

“Did you HEAR what he said to me, the little creep?” demanded the red haired bitch.

“Someday they’ll get your medication right, bitch girl. It’s a shame that won’t be today,” I taunted, finishing my plate washing while she stormed at me, ready to punch my lights out. I gave her a little taste of Spark and she dropped like a sack of potatoes. Good spell. Insta-taser, no waiting. No dead batteries to worry about either. No wonder that Misaka girl liked it so much. I left Asuka drooling on the floor and got my things for school. Today would be a good day.

Rather than go straight to school, I headed for Rei’s apartment. The building had been heavily damaged by one of the battles, with water leaking down the walls and rubble strewn outside. It was a wreck. I climbed the stairs and reached her apartment, which matched the show perfectly. I waited in the doorway.

“Rei? Are you there? It’s Shinji. Rei?” I called out. The noise of a shower stopped.

“First Child. Ikari Shinji. Pilot. I was not expecting you.” Okay, I shuddered a bit. That’s my sister’s voice coming out toneless and dead. She stepped out of the bathroom, dripping wet, and naked. She’s my sister, Shinji’s sister specifically.

“Dry off and put on some clothes. I am making the command decision to move you out of this apartment. It is damaged. We’ll put you in my room at Misato’s place. You’ll be safe there. We’ll get another bed. Do you have any special things you want to take with you?” I decided. Rei does not have a lot of autonomy. She’s a clone of my mother mixed with the DNA from Adam, one of the first angels found at the crash site in Antarctica. I noticed that some of the security guys turned up out of a neighboring room and stared at me, then talked into their sleeves or collars while listening intently to those flesh colored ear buds in one ear. They were tacky, but they have been around for decades. They kept their distance.

“You!” I pointed at the nearest one. “Make the arrangements. Get a single bed shipped to Captain Katsuragi’s apartment. Make sure she’s notified. Who’s your site commander?” I demanded. He looked a bit helpless, then spoke into the mic again. A few minutes later Rei emerged, dry now, carrying a small duffel bag of her stuff and wearing her uniform. I stepped forward, hugged my sister and took the bag from her.

“Are you okay? Any injuries?” I inquired, looking her in the eye. She blinked a couple times as if trying to reboot.

“Affirmative. I was injured in the previous battle. I have removed my bandages and will need to replace them to assist in healing until I can visit Doctor Akagi.”

“I will see what I can do. Let’s get down the stairs before this building collapses around us. The mold alone is probably poisonous,” I urged. The goons made themselves scarce and we descended the darkened concrete fire stairs, my personal flashlight protecting us from terrible falls on all the slippery rubble and bits of plaster and concrete. When Rei’s back was turned I used Heal Other on her, closing up the worst of her injuries and noting her kidney function was terrible, and there were perforations in her intestines, probably some kind of allergic reaction. The chunk of Adam where her womb should be was disgusting. I dissolved that chunk of alien flesh and grew a proper organ like I did for Misato. She’d be far healthier with actual hormones. And it might really screw up their plans for melting down the human race into red goo in a few months’ time. Screw that. Rei paused at the bottom step, looking up at me.

“Why did you hug me?” she said, looking disturbed.

“You’re my sister. The visitor said so, left me a note. You’re my actual sister. You deserve familial protection and Dad isn’t stepping up, so it’s up to me. Someday, in another life you’ll be Komachi, the cutest little sister in the whole world. Oh, and you don’t need to shield me. There will come a time where it seems necessary, but I’ve got this.”

We went to school, me carrying her small duffel of personal objects, including the broken sunglasses my father wore when he tore open her overheated capsule, burning his hands and saving her from cooking to death in boiling ACL fluid. I should probably heal him. It would annoy him.

School was a series of events, boring lectures about Third Impact, the Dead Sea Scrolls which were popular when they were found but actually quite boring since they really just confirmed that the current copies of the Old Testament were faithfully reproduced, errors and all. Considering the aliens were probably just Berzerkers from some lost civilization hellbent on destroying all other intelligent life in the universe, starting with those who broadcast radio signals from their home planets, wiping them out had nothing to do with religion and everything to do with the basic psyop they were running to reduce resistance as their kaiju destroyed our cities and infrastructure. Screw that. Spells worked through the soul, and the evangelions had them too, which meant that spells would work there too, including defensive spells like Stoneskin. Just a matter of being in the pilots seat and I’d have that much extra protection.

That afternoon I visited the younger sister of my classroom friend and healed up her injuries while I was there. Nobody noticed exactly though the girl gained strength as the various injuries healed and damaged organs, and why did she also have womb injuries? Do these aliens just like hurting women? Fixed that in a few minutes and various scars faded under the bandages she was wearing. Wouldn’t the doctors be amazed when they changed those later? I smiled for the girl and promised to defend the city and look out for her stupid brother. She looked very happy.

Home that afternoon involved escorting Rei from the hospital, where she’d stood observing me, back to Misato’s place. There were spare towels, and various toiletries, and Asuka hurling insults after being forced to visit Doctor Akagi after her “fainting episode”.

“I didn’t faint!” she shouted again.

“Right, Asuka. I’m sure its not high blood pressure or some kind of battle damage or even warning signs of a brain hemorrhage, which is why Ritsuko checked you for all that. So Shinji, care to explain why we’re hosting Rei?” asked Misato with an angry gleam.

“Did you see her place? The building was falling down, water leaking everywhere. It was condemned, and the agents just let her live there, alone, in the mess. Did nobody think maybe there was a solution rather than risk one of the three pilots?” I replied, a bit angry.

“And why did you want her bed in your room? Up to some hanky panky?” asked the slutty woman.

“She’s my sister. I’m not sure how they do things where you grew up, but we don’t have “hanky panky” with our sisters where I come from. We do look after them, however. Something Father wasn’t doing. What happened to her guardian anyway?” I corrected her.

“Uh, apparently he died in one of the battles and the agents had no orders about a replacement.”

“So who was notified about it?” I asked, digging.

“Let’s not worry about that,” she said, waving her hand nervously. Ah, it was her fault. Probably got the message while drunk and forgot about it. “The important thing is that she’s here, and apparently will be sleeping in your room.”

“Before I forget, I need to visit a clothing store. Some of my clothes seem to have shrunk,” Misato remarked. I grinned. 

“I’ll keep an eye on portions so I don’t overfeed you anymore, Misato. You might lay off the beer. It causes bloating, you know. Once you gain weight it is so hard to lose it. At least that’s what Doctor Akagi says.”

Rei was a good roommate. I hugged her before bed and combed her hair, which sprouted an ahoge. A bit more Heal Other after she went to sleep and I called it a night myself. I hope Shinji reads the notes I left for him in his workbook.