Death Note Fan Fiction / Death Note Fan Fiction ❯ Bloody Bodies and Love ❯ The Bad Man ( Chapter 4 )

Chapter Four - The Bad Man

 

by Andyouthinkimcrazy [FF.N]/ ShoushiMitsukai [dA] and hitagashi [da and MM.O]

 

Disclaimer: We do not own Death Note or make money off of this... If we did there would be heavy yaoi.

 

Summary: This chapter shows what happened to make Beyond crazy.

 

L didn't say anything, he couldn't; there were several thoughts and words spinning in his mind but he just couldn't bring himself to say any of them. There were things he wanted to ask, but he didn't want to start any kind of civil conversation. There were things he wanted to scream, but he couldn't take it if Beyond grew angry and started to cut him up again... not now. There were things he wanted to do, but he was still bound... still helpless...

 

So he remained silent and unmoving; trapped, for now, in his own unproductive self-hatred. He could only afford this single moment of silence, no more; if he became his own enemy there would be no way he would ever free himself from this horrid situation.

 

Beyond started rocking against L subconsciously, not entirely knowing he was there but knowing something warm was by him, "This old man, he played one, he played knick-knack on my gun, with a knick-knack patty-whack, give a dog a bone, this old man came rolling home..." He was looking at L but at the same time, his eyes were vacant and he was looking at nothing, "This old man, he played two, he played knick-knack on my shoe, with a knick-knack patty-whack, give a dog a bone, this old man came rolling home." He continued to do this to the end of the song and back.

 

L turned his head slightly to look back into the distant red eyes of his copy; B really was mentally ill... it was so painfully obvious. Reason and logic seemed to fail despite the intelligence locked up in that head. Beyond had demonstrated obsessive behavior, dramatic mood swings, and now he was rocking back and forth mumbling a child's song in what L could only suspect was some kind of comfort method. With all of this in mind, it was hard to really loathe Beyond with his entire being; he wanted to, however.

 

The small part of him that was driven by emotions was telling him he should laugh in Beyond's face. He should point out with chilling clarity the many reasons why he could never emotionally or mentally belong to Beyond. The copy could torture and rape him every day, but only his body would belong to such a beast. L knew he was far above B's petty tricks to break him down...

 

And yet...

 

He would never do this. He wasn't driven by such feelings; he was a logical person, and neither of them would benefit if he were to launch an emotional attack on the mentally fragile man. They... really had to work together if they both wanted to come out of this; though it was rather impossible with things the way they were. L knew that if he even suggested putting Beyond back into a mental institution he'd be met with resistance of some form... but it was what B needed. That and, L decided, he would probably need some kind of support... from the one person who mattered to him at all.

 

That would have to be the ultimate goal in this, but L couldn't make it known; he couldn't make the mistake of acting too early as he had with his previous plans. This time... he would simply have to endure these things instead of trying to find a way out of them; he could only hope he worked fast enough. Watari was looking for him for sure... and he didn't want to think of what would happen when Watari found them. When L left here with B it would be willingly, so that they could both work towards some kind of recovery... rather than the first failed attempt he'd made when he'd left B in LA.

 

Beyond shot up and started to shake L's shoulders, "The numbers are fading! You need to find a Shinigami! You need a life longer! You need to raise your numbers! Numbers are ticking down and down! They're rocketing down down down down down and out of town!!! Away away away away! We should play we should play play play!!! Before your time fades away!!!" He smiled maniacally as he shot out rhymes.

 

He nuzzled into L's neck happily before looking up with tears in his eyes, "The numbers they go down and down, down and down, down and down. Will you stay until I drown? My fair Lawli?" Tears fell down his face and onto L's chest, "Fifth of November in 2004, the numbers turn zero. Before the fifth of November 2004 you will need a hero!"

 

L sighed before turning a little more towards Beyond; cautiously he leaned in, though he refused to touch the other man more that he already was, "Beyond... do you think you will be my hero?" Truthfully, he wasn't interested in what B thought about this particular topic; he was only testing to see if B was conscious enough to recognize his voice among... whatever strange thoughts were in his head. If he could then maybe he could figure out a way to coax Beyond back into the semi-sane attitude he'd had before the rape.

 

Beyond smiled happily, "I want to keep you! You seem nice! My name's Beyond, what's yours? No, wait, I can see it! Can you see my numbers and name too? I have special eyes!" He looked down, "Why are we naked? And why are you tied up? Where are we?" He bounced a little on L and looked around, "Ah! I know! You should play with me!!" He jumped off of L, "Will you play with me? Will you stay and play with me? I don't know where my parents are! I think my mommy's numbers ran out! And I think my daddy's did! So I'm aaaalllll alone! Will you be my friend?" He smiled at L innocently. "Please?"

 

L stared at him with his ever calculating dark eyes; was this some form of trick..? Or had B actually reverted to a younger version of himself? He didn't want to say he was afraid, but he did wonder if this might be some kind of trick Beyond was using to try to lead him into a trap. Cautiously he replied to his child-like copy, "Alright, I will try... though I haven't the experience to be a very good friend, I'm afraid."

 

Beyond smiled at him happily, "I'll teach you! I like to draw! And play tag! They're fun games!!! I never really liked other games... Do you like other games?" He began unbuckling L's restraints quickly, "Let's play tag!!!" He saw the chains and stared, "Hmm…" He then smiled as if he had gotten a bright idea. He found the knife and picked the lock easily, "There! Come on! Let's play!!" He grabbed L's hands and pulled him off the bed, "It's fun! It's fun!"

 

L grit his teeth as his legs touched the ground; an instant spike of pain traveled from his torn passage up his spine and even down into his legs making a faint shiver pass though his body, though he otherwise remained stoic and unmoved by the pain. He took a short intake of breath before, with one eye fixed on Beyond, he bent down to grab his boxers from the floor.

 

B seemed to genuinely be caught in some childhood reenactment, but that didn't make him feel any better about this situation. Beyond had set him free; and that might be proof enough that he wasn't trying to trick him, but then that meant that he had to be extra careful not to further damage this child while, at the same time, trying to bring back the B he knew. It would prove to be difficult... and he may just have to wait for B to come around on his own.

 

Then, of course... there was this 'playing' Beyond wanted. It could be innocent enough, but there were so many warning signs that were going off in his head, likely due to Beyond's earlier actions, he didn't want to agree to play any games B suggested at all. Nevertheless, as L slipped on his boxers, he smiled at the child-like Beyond with just a light curve to his lips, "Well, tell me what game we'll be playing... and I'll decide then if I want to play it or not." he gently nudged a garment of Beyond's that was on the floor with a bare toe, "You should dress too or you'll catch a cold."

 

Beyond looked at the boxers and pulled them on. He hopped around trying to get his second leg in the boxers but instead catching his foot and falling backwards. He yelled out in shock as he fell to the floor. He landed on his back and gasped in pain, "Ah... owwww..." He bit his lip as tears welled up in his eyes. He curled on his side and sniffled while holding his knees to his chest. He finished pulling up his boxers as soon as his tears started to fall. He curled away from L again and cried heavily. His hand went up to his mouth when he started to whine loudly. A moment later, he bit down on his hand heavily. He bit to the point of where it bled. He trembled and looked at L fearfully. His eyes widened at the slouched stance of the detective. "D-Don't hurt me! I... I won't do it again! Please don't!" He bit down on his hand once more after that.

 

L stared at him with wide eyes as he processed the information this little incident had given him; the way he'd reacted suggested that he'd been harmed intentionally by someone... and maybe he'd been taught to punish himself? That could be the reason as to why he was now biting at his hand.

 

One thumb came up to L's lips and he bit at it as he continued to think; how could he defuse this situation in the most efficient way? He had to show B that he wasn't threatening; and though it would put him in danger if B was trying to trick him, L sunk down to the floor in his crouch to seem less threatening. He placed his hands on his knees and wiggled his toes a little against each other.

 

"Relax." he said in his calm, cold voice, "I don't plan to harm you at all, Beyond. Please remove your hand from your mouth before you damage it further.”

 

Beyond moved away from him and he shook his head violently, "Mommy said speak your mind. Daddy beat Mommy. Mommy doesn't speak anymore. Daddy says I have to shut up. Daddy says I have to listen. Daddy says he doesn't love me anymore. Daddy says I took away my Mommy. Daddy says I'm getting too smart. Daddy says I need to be punished. I don't like how my Daddy punishes me. I do it for him. Sometimes he does it to me too. My Mommy is in the ground. My Daddy is going to die soon. His zeros are ticking down. The bad man is here again. Why does he come here, L? Why does he do those things?" He looked up at L in extreme sadness and fear. He reached out and grasped L's pants. "Don't leave. Please."

 

L quickly pieced everything together the best that he could. B's father beat his mother until she died... then he turned his anger onto Beyond... and had him punish himself as well. His father died or was dying when 'the bad man' came... ... but what things did he do..? It seemed to him that this 'bad man' must be even worse than Beyond's father, he seemed much more terrified of this man than his abusive father. What did this man do?

 

He had to wonder about this, but he wasn't sure if pressing B for details would be appropriate... it may only send Beyond into some further spiral of childhood memories. For now he simply reached down and slid one hand over B's; he squeezed gently and took a deep breath before letting it out slowly. In a low voice he replied, "I... won't leave, B..." and, strangely enough, he meant it.

 

Beyond tensed at being called that, "Why did you just... call me 'B'? My name is Beyond..." He pulled himself closer to L trying to feel secure again, "Do you know why the bad man comes? He's not good. I told Daddy he was no good. Bad Man killed Daddy. Bad Man tortured him with a wire hanger. My evil Daddy is gone. Now the Bad Man is here. He's no good you know. He does bad things. He's a very bad man. I never liked him. He liked to scare me. And now he likes to do very bad things. It makes me scared. I don't like it. He's really no good. He likes to do things that my Mommy said shouldn't happen. He likes to drug me. He likes to do bad things. He's a bad, bad man. Why is he so bad to me, L? Why does he hurt me?" His eyes search L's eyes for an answer. "Do you know?" He clutched tighter, "Please tell me you do. I don't want him to do the things he does." He bit his lip again, "Can you keep the Bad Man away?"

 

L was around 90% sure he knew exactly what the 'Bad Man' had done to Beyond... but if he was right, and this man had violated the young boy, then why would B have raped him just moments ago..? L knew he would never force that pain on someone... but then... B was mentally unstable and this had happened to him when he was a child. He'd heard that people were more likely to lash out when they were older if they were abused at a young age... perhaps the same could be said for rape victims. Or maybe it was the combination of both?

 

"I can't say for sure that I know why he hurt you, Beyond." L said, still in his stoic and calculating manner, though he tightened his grip over the hand that was attached to his jeans, "But I can promise you that you are safe from him now." the detective cracked a bit of a smile and reached out with his other hand to brush his long fingers though his copy's black hair, "I may not look it, but I'm a powerful man."

 

Beyond looked at him with big eyes, his smile was hesitant but big. "I believe you L! You wouldn't lie to me, right?" He purred at the hand in his hair and then giggled at his reaction. "L... can I sit in your lap?" Beyond twiddled with his fingers, unsure whether or not he would be able to; he didn't think he knew this man but he could trust him. A blush lit his face with the innocent question, "I mean, you don't have to let me. It's just what Mommy did whenever I had nightmares or wasn't feeling good."

 

L was extremely tempted to say 'no'; he rather liked sitting here on the floor, curled up with Beyond close... but far enough that he was comfortable... and he rather liked his crouching position. But, L rubbed his toes together again, he knew that in order to show B, the real B, that he was committed to helping him he couldn't reject anything... even little things like this.

 

With a quick movement L slid his hand from B's hair and stood into his usual slouch; he looked between B and the bed for a moment before he climbed onto it and gestured for B to follow him up. He had to fight hard, very hard, to ignore the warning sirens that were going off in his head; he knew he was inviting his rapist into bed with him... but he had to ignore that. He was rather certain by this point that B wasn't trying to trick him... he'd had many opportunities already to attack him if he so chose.

 

Beyond followed him and sat in L's lap hesitantly and flinching when he accidentally touched his back against L's leg. He curled up from the pain and clutched to L. Fresh tears sprung out of his eyes unbidden. He buried his face in L's chest and cried, "Thank you..." He smiled up at L happily and then hugged him, "I think I can trust you." He fell asleep quickly due to pain and the softness of L's skin.

 

L sighed and leaned back in the bed; he began again to gently run his hands through the sleeping Beyond's hair as he stared ahead at nothing in particular. He wouldn't be joining B in slumber, he decided. He wouldn't want to be completely helpless when Beyond woke up again in what might be his normal state; if he saw his prisoner unbound... just what would he think and do..? L didn't want to be sleeping if B became angry with what he found.

 

But... L had nothing to think about; he would avoid the topic of Beyond completely for obvious reasons... and it was virtually impossible to work on the Kira case without a computer or another source of information. And really... what else did he have to think of..? Perhaps he could think of his current heirs... though there was only so long that line of thought could satisfy him...

 

Eventually, L did drift off; the exhaustion from the physical violation and his usual insomnia seemed to catch up with him and he drifted off with his hand still settled in Beyond's dark hair.

 

Beyond slept heavily and began to relive his memories. The Bad Man began to touch him weirdly but in ways his Mommy had told him were bad. He pushed his arms against his chains while hitting against his captor's chest violently. In reality he was thrashing about and hitting L harshly. He whined and screamed and tears streamed down his face.

 

L was jolted awake by a harsh hit to his chest, and then another and another. He yelped in shock and didn't waste a moment in reacting. With both hands he shoved at Beyond and used his legs to kick the other man off the bed. He turned then and hopped off the other side to put some distance between them and give him a moment to collect his thoughts.

 

Beyond shook violently and sobbed, pulling his legs to his chest. He made sure to make his ball as tight and air tight as possible. He muttered incoherently until one sentence came out unbidden. "...Sorry... Lawli-pop... I didn't want to.... hurt you...." With that he fell unconscious with tears, thrashing and sobs.

 

L sighed softly and shoved his thumb into his mouth; his teeth worked at the skin for a moment before he moved around the bed to look down at his copy. What should he do? Part of him wanted to take advantage of this: he could tackle B right now in this nightmare of his and chain him up with the shackles that still lay on the bed. Then he could escape with Beyond as his prisoner... he could leave him in a better mental institution this time and just... forget all about it...

 

But... ... he somehow felt far too responsible for this situation to take that course of action.

 

Beyond's body flinched as if shying away from something. "D-Don't! ...it hurts...!" Beyond flinched again, drawing his thumb into his mouth. He bit down so hard that he drew blood.

 

L frowned as he watched Beyond with dark, expressionless eyes; he stepped a little closer and sighed softly before calling out. He hoped his words would reach the other man, "Beyond! Beyond! Nothing's happening to you!" he stepped a little closer, though he was afraid to actually get within striking distance of his copy, "Beyond..."

 

Beyond whimpered and withdrew his head more, his mumbling grew louder and when he woke his head shot up. When he saw L, in his mind the gaunt face was replaced with a terrifying person. He scrambled back into the wall and pressed against the wall. "I... I won't! You can't make me! My Mommy says it's wrong! You don't touch people like that! You don't make them touch you! It's bad! I won't!" He backed away, fear etched into his features. He made sure to be completely against the wall so as not to be seen by others.

 

L crouched down again as he had the day before; he stared across at B as one thumb again moved to his lips, "I won't make you do anything, Beyond... what happened to you was wrong... and it won't ever happen to you again... ... only your dreams will replay those things... ... and... I want to help you get rid of that too..."

 

Beyond tried to back away again; he knew what the Bad Man wanted. He only had ten minutes before the Bad Man would leave. He was so afraid he was trembling. "You too, L? You want to do it too? Why?" Tears lit and fell from his eyes as he continued to struggle away.

 

L shook his head quickly as he curled his arm around his legs; he stretched his toes a little and watched the movement, "I'd never do anything to you B... I promised you." he played a little with his lip stretching it to show the white rows of teeth they hid before he spoke again, "Beyond, you need to calm down. Right now... he is only in your head."

Beyond quickly scurried under the bed. He shook his head in jerky movements, "He's here, Lawli-pop! I know he is! I saw his numbers again! I know he is! His numbers went down in the way they would have! He's here! He found me!" He started shaking as his mind regained its former age. Still he hid but pleaded to L with his eyes as well as words, "You need to hide! Come under here! He won't get you if he can't find you! He doesn't like beds! The Bad Man doesn't like them!" He shook his head, "He'll like you though! Hide, PLEASE!!!" Tears spilled out faster as he trembled in fear for himself and L.

 

L bit at his thumb again; he didn't like this situation one bit. He was safe, and so was B no matter where they chose to hide or if they chose not to; he really didn't want to get any closer to B but... he was wary of the turn Beyond's madness might take if he didn't. Beyond's mental health was one of his top priorities in this... and he wouldn't be any help if he were to agitate the situation.

 

L drew his thumb from his mouth before he crept along the floor, still in his crouch, towards the bed. He dropped down lower and slid under the bed next to Beyond.

 

Beyond smiled at him then turned grave as the doorknob rattled. He put a finger to his mouth as he searched beside him for something. He started shaking as he heard boots running down the hall at the door, breaking it open under the weight. The man staggered and Beyond finally found it: his gun. If he had to, he would. He didn't want L to be hurt by this man. He looked over to L and mouthed out the words "Bad Man" before turning his attention back to the feet that were roaming the room carefully.