Death Note Fan Fiction / Death Note Fan Fiction ❯ Bloody Bodies and Love ❯ Hope? No... Despair. ( Chapter 5 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

Summary: Whoever said the bad guy had to stay? (Seriously, read CLAMP School Detectives and you�ll see what I mean.) Dante flees and Beyond is emo and L is paranoid. Isn�t love grand?

Anime/Manga: Death Note Fan Fiction / Death Note Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Police / Occult / Supernatural / Romance / Psychological | Type: Yaoi | Uploaded On: 05.11.2009 | Pages: 3 | Words: 5.3K | Visits: 239 | Status: Completed

Chapter Five - Hope? No… despair.

By Andyouthinkimcrazy [FF.N]/ ShoushiMitsukai [dA] and hitagashi [da and MM.O]

Disclaimer: We do not own Death Note or make money off of this... If we did there would be heavy yaoi.

Summary: Whoever said the bad guy had to stay? (Seriously, read CLAMP School Detectives and you'll see what I mean.) Dante flees and Beyond is emo and L is paranoid. Isn't love grand?

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L stared with wide eyes at the booted feet; did this really mean that Beyond was correct? He'd thought it had only been some kind of hallucination but if B could really see these 'numbers'...

November 5th......

No, this had to be some kind of coincidence. Perhaps he'd already been found by Watari and the others of the task force? There was no way he could tell from down here; he had to wait in order to find out.

Beyond held the gun shakily. For his L. For his L. If he tried to do anything, he would shoot him. To protect his L. He shut his eyes then snapped them open, waiting to see if he would leave when suddenly the mattress was flipped over then the frame itself. Beyond rushed and covered L from view as completely as possible. He held the gun aloft and to the man's head. "Lawli-pop, when I say so, run: as fast and hard as you can. Don't hesitate. Go. All right?" He smiled at L before glaring at the man above him. His face turned into an evil snarl while he remembered the things that had twisted him.

L quickly tilted his head to stare up at the man; was this really the man who had so harmed B? Or was Beyond simply replacing this man's face with an image long ingrained into his mind? He didn't know... he didn't know at all what the 'Bad Man' looked like so he didn't know if Beyond was protecting him from an innocent person or not... though he didn't look like anyone with good intentions...

L hated how much he didn't know, he hated hiding behind Beyond, and he hated how absolutely helpless he was in all of this.

The man advanced until the shaky gun was in his face, "Kid, you've given me a run for my money. Been lookin' for ya for years now. And," he looked at L, "seems to me ya got a little friend too. Ain't that magical? Incompliant little shits like you don't deserve friends. 'Specially not pretty ones like that." His drawl gave B the chills and Beyond began to cry again when the gun was launched backwards out of his hand to land on the ground by L. He looked at L and kicked the man, "Run, Lawli-pop. Run, run, and run some more. Do it!" He looked at the numbers above the head but more important was the name. "Dante Magnius. Remember that name."

L furiously shook his head and reached his hand out to the gun; he took it in his grasp and aimed it straight at the man who had broken in, "Beyond." he began in a serious voice, finger hovering over the trigger as he stared up into golden eyes, "I've decided I won't be leaving without you."

Dante looked at him with a smirk, "Come on, kid, ya can't do it! This kid likes 'em weak!" Beyond stared at L in shock until his mouth twisted into a small grin; it would figure that he would end up having to depend on L again. And he wasn't leaving; that made B become determined to beat Dante. He backed up until he was by L and thus his knife. He picked it up, wiping drying blood on his boxers.

He held it in his hand loosely, ready to throw it; Dante's life was fading, that meant one thing: he was dying by either L or B's hand today.

"You would be surprised how 'weak' I'm not." L replied in a bored tone of voice, though he did not take his eyes off the albino before him; he could not afford a second of inattention when it came to someone who was immediately a danger to his health.

Beyond felt the slight shaking of his hand: he knew he wouldn't be able to do this, it was impossible. He was still too afraid. Dante saw and laughed loudly, "Little baby B, you're STILL afraid of little ol' me? Pathetic." Dante walked closer, laughing at the two before him. One overly cautious and the other trembling in fear, "Too bad I gotta kill the pretty boy, huh Beyond?" Dante leered at them and Beyond squeezed his eyes shut. The knife was slipping so he held it more firmly.

L frowned and quickly stood; he held the gun tightly in his grip as he stared the other man down with a hard look in his black eyes. Distractedly he noticed the wounds on his chest were throbbing with pain in time with the beating of his heart; but it was ignored for the feel of gun's trigger against his curled index finger, "I don't know what you think you can do against us unarmed, you should leave now while you can."

Beyond looked at L briefly and tried to earn comfort from his voice; but all it did was make him sick. He could see blood trickling out of some of the wounds and felt shame and regret fill him. But still, he nodded in agreement, afraid his voice would fail him.

Dante's smile disappeared as he evaluated the situation. He shook his head and backed out, "Of course. Sorry to bother ya. I'll be going now." Dante turned and ran outside then away from the building. B dropped the knife and started shaking uncontrollably. He had his eyes wide and locked on the door, not really remembering that L was there.

L sighed out a breath of relief, though he kept his grip on the gun steady; that man might return with his own weapon and he wasn't about to release the only defense he had. He dropped back into his crouch next to Beyond and eyed the door warily for a second before turning to look at B, "Beyond... are you alright?" he asked calmly.

Beyond snapped his head in L's direction and then looked at his chest, "I... Are you okay, Lawli-pop?" He looked away in shame and walked to the bathroom shakily; once there, he went into the cabinet beneath the sink, grabbing bandages, antiseptics, medical tape and gauze. He came out with it, making sure he had it all before sitting on the floor next to L. He held it up then set it on the floor, "I... you... I need to fix you." He looked at his shaking hands and mentally cursed himself for visibly showing weakness to L.

L sighed and curled his free arm around his legs while he set the one with the gun on the ground, though his grasp didn't let up; he cast his gaze to the items Beyond had brought out for him, "You don't have to, I can deal with it myself. You really need to relax, B... and get this off your mind."

Beyond felt like he had been stabbed in the heart. He couldn't stop the tears from flowing or from the biting of his lip. His shaking redoubled with the force of the sobs that wracked his body. He started to hiccup as it hit him that L didn't want him to touch him. Probably didn't even want to be near him. Beyond scooted back against the wall then sighed wearily in defeat. He kept his face facing the hands in his lap.

L turned towards Beyond and watched him sob for a moment; he hadn't meant to make B so upset, but he had. Obviously, Beyond mistook this as more of a rejection; and coupled with the `I hate you' remark from earlier it would be adding onto the man's unstable mental health. When he thought more carefully, it was the remark that had set this behavior off in the first place. If he wanted to help reverse the damage he would have to tell B that he wasn't hated… regardless of the probable increase of Beyond's sexual advances.

Unfolding from his crouch, L stretched his legs out before him. He wiggled his toes a bit before drawing his legs back to sit with them crossed. He stared at Beyond a moment longer before he let out a sigh and snagged the roll of bandages. He then leaned across the floor towards Beyond and nudged his foot with the roll, “If it really means that much to you B, I'll let you.” L said while lifting the bandages higher from the floor so that he could draw B's gaze from his lap, “I wouldn't mind that much…”

Beyond looked at him in confusion; first he was shocked to see him, then he was hating him, then he was a puddle of goop when he moved in him a certain way, then back to hate, something had happened yesterday though he had no clue what, then he doesn't believe him when he KNEW Dante was there, then he hid, then he helped, then he rejected B's help, then decided to allow it? It made no sense to B whatsoever and it surprised him.

Beyond was an expert on L. No one knew as much about him as B did and they never would. But he was confused by the detective all the same. He took the bandage gingerly and moved over to him, placing it back in the pile slowly. He then picked up the disinfectant and added it to the gauze he had grabbed out. After that, he looked to L expectantly. He didn't want to be rejected again so he was careful this time. "Are you sure?"

L nodded slowly before stretching so he was sitting up straight; it hurt a little, but it was nothing he couldn't deal with while Beyond worked. Really, he was more focused on Beyond's rather interesting attitude; he seemed like he was genuinely sorry for what he had done. It would make sense, of course, after hearing the words 'I hate you' from someone he... admired he must be regretting his actions. Perhaps that had been what that 'please' had been about... that single word that had somehow reached L's mind while he was being raped...

'Please, take it back.'

Perhaps those had been the words that Beyond was trying to send to him; but L didn't regret saying them, not if they had knocked some sense into that head, albeit slowly. So maybe... maybe he shouldn't tell Beyond that he'd been lying when he'd said them. If Beyond seemed willing to earn some sort of trust back from him, then he would have to keep those words to himself.

Beyond dabbed at the wounds softly, switching gauze pads every now and then when one got too dirty. He continued this process until he was sure L could be smelled from two miles away with the amount of Betatine he had applied. He had always liked how it cleared the sinuses and thus only used it. With a small shuffle he grabbed the bandages and set to work wrapping L's torso. Sadly, to do this, he had to lean very close to L. So he leant as far away as he could so as not to scare L. When he was done, he clipped it into place and circled around L to check if he missed anything. Satisfied it was all covered; he sat in a crouch shakily and poked at the floor with his face downcast, "All done."

L slid his free hand over the bandages once before he shifted to curl his legs to his chest again; his other hand was still holding the gun, but he switched to holding it his usual way: between thumb and index finger. He lifted it up before him and stared at it with blank black eyes before he cast his gaze to Beyond, "Perhaps we should leave here. The chances of him returning at a later time are rather high... and he would likely be prepared with a weapon of his own."

Beyond looked at him in shock; then again he returned his face to looking down with a nod before chewing on his finger to the point where it bled. He pulled his hand away as a sudden thought hitting him. "Your hotel; that's the safest place, there's more security than a maximum security prison... but..." He stared at L in absolute misery, "If we go there, I'll be arrested. But... I'd deserve it, wouldn't I?" He smiled at L sadly and lied down on the floor, "Or I can stay and get you away from here. Either way, we won't see each other anymore..." New tears started in his eyes and he tried to wipe them away. He really hated how weak he was right now. Stupid, that's what he was.

L drew his left thumb up to his lips as he looked back to the gun dangling from his grip. He ignored Beyond's pain while he thought things over: this was what he wanted, wasn't it? Beyond was willingly giving him the decision to decide what would happen to him. He'd follow him back to the hotel to be arrested and dealt with... there'd be another trial for him dealing with his escape, the murder L knew he'd committed (and any others), and this latest kidnapping and rape.

That stuff certainly didn't fit into his plan; Beyond would have to go back to L. A. for the murder and escape, and L wanted to keep him close. Then, of course, the kidnapping and rape would be swept under the rug for L to keep his identity hidden. It was safe to say that Beyond would not be returning if he were arrested, and L wanted to get Beyond help as soon as he could.

With a sigh L lowered the gun and let it lay flat on the floor before he tilted his head once more in his copy's direction, "Not necessarily."

Beyond looked at him in confusion: did he just say what he thought he said? Did that mean he had a chance to stay with him? To keep him safe? He kept his eyes on L. "What do you mean?"

L nibbled on his thumb for a second before his lips curved into a little bit of a smile around the digit; he drew it back slightly and said, "I mean that I might not want you to be arrested at this moment in time."

Beyond sat up abruptly and stared at L in shock; without realizing it, he had tackled the raven to the ground in a hug. His tears fell into L's hair and his body shook uncontrollably as he murmured out, "Thank you." continuously.

L yelped and froze against the ground with Beyond on top of him; memories quickly jolted across his mind before he could stop them. He squeezed his eyes shut and shoved at Beyond shoulders, "Get off!"

Beyond realized what he had done and jumped off of L quickly. He then proceeded to scramble back against the wall, "I... I..!" He shook his head, stood and ran out of the room in a rush. On his way down the hall, he crashed into the wall and other objects, not bothering to notice a sharp edge of a metal door had clipped his shoulder.

L sucked in a deep, trembling breath before he relaxed against the floor. His dark eyes rolled upwards and his head tilted back so he could look at the door which Beyond had run out from. He was gone... to where? L didn't know, nor did he care right now. He just needed to relax and get this out of his head before he worried about what his copy was up to.

Beyond collapsed in the makeshift living room in tears, his left shoulder bleeding profusely and draining him of energy; the supposed clip on his shoulder had actually reached his bone. He whimpered when he moved and deemed it more appropriate to stay still after that. He hadn't done anything wrong; he had just hugged him. Why did this have to happen to him all the time? Why not someone else? Someone who could handle all the pain he felt with this?

L drew in another deep breath before he sat up; his mind was still replaying the lips on his skin and the feel of the blade cutting into the skin of his chest. He could still feel the jab of Beyond's hips connecting with his own...

Quickly, he moved to his feet and tried desperately to ignore the pain that came with the movement; he'd managed to ignore it all this time, he'd be able to do it again. Now, he knew it was time to find Beyond... who knew what he was doing alone..?

Beyond saw it right by him. It looked beautiful to him at the moment. Staring in wonder, he picked it up, wondering why he had never thought of this before. Moving the knife in his hands gracefully, so ethereally beautiful, like a spirit resided in it. He thought of L and with a saddened smile drew it across his wrist. There it was: his blood. Sparkling somewhat in the light that had entered the room, he marveled at it. Without a second thought, he raised the blade up to his neck slowly because somewhere in his mind he was wishing L would stop him. But, B reasoned, if he hadn't wanted him to, wouldn't he have followed? Or been gentler? And those words were still ringing in his head painfully: 'I hate you.' Beyond smiled at the thought again; at least L had used some energy on him. No matter what type of thought it was, it was a welcome thought. Slowly - so as not to completely open the skin-B glided the razor sharp blade over his throat.