Death Note Fan Fiction ❯ A Balm for Social Failure ❯ Blitz Tactics ( Chapter 11 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

A Balm for Social Failure

(Chapter 11: Blitz Tactics)
Light x L

L begins to suspect something is missing from his life. He believes the key to be in social interaction - his weak point. At the appearance of the enigma named Light Yagami, he is challenged to rise to the occasion.

Disclaimer: see ch. 1 for full disclaimer

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Chapter 11:


L shuffled to the headquarters hotel room around 10 a.m. the next day, the hallway's tastefully patterned carpet soft but firm under his bare feet. His steps slowed. He'd given the matter much thought since his abruptly ended phone call last night. Yagami-san seemed to be systematically removing all opportunity he had to interact with Light on any level. Though he had considered removing himself from Light's sphere of influence on his own, and on more than one occasion, having it done for him was greatly irritating.

He supposed it had been considerate of Light to let him know the father was involved instead of merely hanging up. Calling again would almost guarantee that the elder Yagami would be the one who answered.

Considerate? Had he ever applied such a word to Light before? And if that word fit, it certainly went against a mountain of evidence to the contrary. Perhaps it was not consideration then, but a guise of it? For when had Light ever looked out for anyone but himself?

But back to the matter at hand.

Regardless of what Yagami-san believed him to be guilty of, and no matter how he chose to run his own family, he held no sway over L and his attempts at controlling L's actions must be met with decisive action. No matter how uncomfortable that made things, it was necessary to L's sense of autonomy and pride. It was also a challenge Yagami-san had issued, and L sorely disliked backing down from one of those.

L opened the door to the hotel room, and slunk sulkily through the room to his seat.  There was nothing here of true interest while Light was absent. The monotony of it all was creeping back and gaining full force. Well, wasn't that sick? He actually missed the brunette. Torment and all.

Watari must still be feeling guilty
, he thought as he eyed a platter of exorbitantly priced, oversized muffins that had been placed next to his usual seat. They were from the bakery across town and were covered in plastic wrap to keep other greedy hands away until such a time that L chose to share. If he did. L lifted the corner and took out one of the heavy, fresh muffins, eyes shining as he admired the light sparkling off the course granulated sugar that adorned its cap in abundance. These were his favorite breakfast, and it had been some time since he'd last had even one. The traffic, price, and availability being the center of Watari's usual argument against such fare.

L broke off a piece of the cap and popped it into his mouth. His eyes closed as he savored it. Still warm... Watari was all but forgiven.

"-zaki. Ryuuzaki!"

One of L's dark eyes opened a crack. Matsuda. He sighed. Must they pounce on him so quickly? "Certainly you have had breakfast already, Matsuda-san?"

"Huh?" The man scratched his head. "Oh. Yeah, I did-"

"Then I'm sure you won't begrudge me a few moments to have mine?" Civility, L.

"Well, but it's kinda... important..."

More important than warm, gourmet muffins? I think not.
L popped another piece into his mouth and looked at Matsuda as if he could freeze the motion of the man's mouth if he only concentrated hard enough. Better yet, go away. Leave me to my muffins! He tried shooing the pesky man with his eyes.

Matsuda, unfortunately, held fast but he was wavering. "You see.... last night... um... there..."

L bit a huge chunk out of his muffin and chewed it with a horrific smacking of lips. He squinted one eye for good effect. It was a disservice to the glorious confection he was consuming but to his satisfaction Matsuda started edging away, 'important matter' suddenly becoming less so. Ha!

"What Matsuda is trying to say is that there has been a rash of new murders since last night," Yagami-san interrupted impatiently. "It seems that Kira has become active again in a big way."

L refrained from beating his head into the nearest object. "And why exactly is it necessary to tell me this now versus five minutes from now?" God. Leave me be. Let me eat. Bother me forever afterwards if you must. Just go away before they get cold!

Yagami-san coming over to add his two cents was not helping this pass quickly.

"Can you not spare a few moments for information pertinent to the case, Ryuuzaki?" Yagami-san crossed his arms across his chest. "What is a few minutes? Must everything happen according to your will, including breaking news?"

L's heart sank. Muffins, oh, muffins, how quickly your delightful warmth doth fade. This was a travesty. A silent passing of all that was good in this world, and he was the only one to bear witness. Don't worry, my fair comrades, I will avenge you.

"Last night, you say?" L took a bite of room temperature muffin, and chewed thoughtfully. Regretfully actually, but they probably wouldn't note the distinction.

"Yes, last night."

"Interesting," L said. "It seems to me that Kira suddenly had a change in circumstance. And was today not the first day that you have forbidden me and the investigation from tailing a main suspect? My, yes, that is quite interesting." L examined a piece of muffin as he said this and waited for the expected refute.

"Light is not Kira," Yagami-san spat.

L met the chief's eyes with blank ones. "I'm afraid evidence points to the contrary, Yagami-san, and I do not believe in coincidences."

"Why were you talking to him last night?" the police chief rounded. "Answer me that."

"Was I?" L said in surprise. "Do you have any proof of this?"

"He had a call from an unlisted number. It had to be you."

"This is getting tiresome, Yagami-san," he sighed with annoyance. Yagami-san was fast to jump to conclusions nowadays. "Unless you have something on which to found your accusations...?"

The police chief's jaw was set, and his composure was looking rather less stable than usual. "I've told you, you are to stay away from him."

"Yes, but as I recall telling you, I will not allow anything to compromise this investigation and I will do whatever I see as necessary to bring it to its completion." L took a bite of cold muffin, and watched the older man's reaction as he chewed nonchalantly. "In fact, I have decided that more intrinsic surveillance is called for. We will be planting hidden cameras in the homes of 10 suspects to try to narrow our focus to only the most plausible of the group. Or, in the best case scenario, catch Kira at work and see how it is he accomplishes these murders."

"No."

"'No', what, Yagami-san?"

"I'll not have you-" The police chief seemed overwrought. His fist clenched and unclenched at his sides."What gives you the right-"

"My credentials and my backers," L interrupted.

"But to go so far! My wife and daughter... it's unthinkable!"

"I have considered this, Yagami-san. I will be requesting your assistance in the monitoring of your family."

The older man relaxed the barest fraction, but his frown etched deeper.

"But as you are predisposed to believing your family is completely innocent, I cannot allow you to monitor them all yourself. You may choose who you wish to be the sole watcher of, but it cannot be all three." The police chief seemed torn. Being forced to chose whose propriety to uphold had to have been difficult.

"Are they to be monitored at all times?"

"Yes. Bathrooms and showers will have cameras as well."

Yagami-san got a stubborn look to him. "If you suspect Light, why must you keep surveillance on  my wife and Sayu? This is all just another one of your schemes, is it not? Then put only Light under surveillance and I will watch him."

"Being thorough is the only way for this to have a chance of success, Yagami-san. I must watch the entire household of every prime suspect. But as you are part of the investigation, I am offering you a chance to preserve some of their modesty. I do not care who I watch, be it Light or your lovely daughter." L blinked large black eyes at him in as disconcertingly and intensely interested manner as possible and said, "She takes after your wife, does she not?"

Yagami-san dove forward and fisted the front of L's shirt in his hand. "How do you know my wife and daughter?"

L let a bland yet smug smile wash over his face. "I know much more about your family then you would suppose. I always do thorough research before approaching anyone. Including members of the police." So far so good. Yagami was now becoming paranoid over L's interest in the female members of his family. But was it enough to tip his hand? Perhaps a little more...

"You surprise me, Yagami-san. I'd have thought most fathers would be more protective over their women. In today's society, it seems less a grievous harm for a male to have his privacy compromised than a female... but then, what do I know? In any case, it will not matter to me who I must keep watch over, be they eating breakfast or taking a shower."

L accented his cavalier speech with his best attempt at a subtlety anticipatory expression. It must have been awful, but Yagami-san was taking it satisfactorily enough.

"I will watch my wife and daughter," he said stiffly. "But while I am here I will watch Light as well."

L tried to look disappointed. "Very well then." He truly had no interest in anyone but Light, but this pretense was the only way to gain him this win. "But if you ever need assistance with the other two-"

"I will not," Yagami-san growled. "And don't think I don't know that you stand to gain something here."

"I would stand to gain something if I were to have a worthy partner for chess at my disposal," L said touchily. "Watching the menial day to day tasks of any person will be dreadfully boring." L forced his speech back to monotone and said what he should. "But given your mandate, and my attempt to comply to the greatest extent I am able, this is the only solution that will allow the investigation to continue. I will be relieved when this part is over."

Yagami-san engaged him in a minute-long staring contest before turning sharply away. 

L took a bite of muffin, and lamented. It was cold. Stone cold.

---

"What is it, Ryuuk?" Light snapped after dragging the Shinigami halfway into the the commercial district. The damn thing had been floating around his room, laughing, for a good hour. But the bug-eyed, leering creature had volunteered nothing and Light had been unable to ask.

Someone had been in his room. The simple trap Light set with his door told him so - though it was quite unexpected. His family wouldn't have intruded in his absence... so it had to be the investigation's doing. There was a good chance his every move was being monitored. But, following him around outside should prove more difficult.

"Cameras," Ryuuk said, turning to float upside-down. "Now, gimme apples. I need them."

"Tell me where all the cameras are," you damn vulture.

"APPLES," Ryuuk bellowed, spinning in place.

Light ignored him and kept walking. Five, four, three....

"Ok, I'll tell you where they are," it said quickly. "That's easy. C'mon, Light."

"Very well. Thank you, Ryuuk." Dealing with the shinigami was like dealing with a toddler at times. But then, those were the easier times. It was when its protruding eyes glossed over in apathy that he really had difficulty.  "Would you prefer Gala, Fuji, or Red Delicious?" Fortunately for him, Ryuuk seemed happy enough pestering him until his patience threatened to crack.

Ryuuk's eyes lit up. "I want bagged Fuji apples."

Light grimaced. Those were almost 1800 yen (17 dollars) a piece! "Those are gift quality apples. What do you need those for when you'll eat one in two bites?" Light had had them before - they were the best tasting apples you could get. And they damn well better be for all the ridiculous work farmers went to, bagging them on the tree to ensure flavor, and trimming the trees back and using reflectors once they were unbagged to maximize sun exposure to achieve the perfect and uniform color they were known for. Appalling. This might easily become an addiction if he let Ryuuk have even a taste. He'd be broke in a month.

"But, they are 30 percent larger than the other apples at least. It will take longer for me to eat those."

"4 bites versus 3? I hardly see the point."

Ryuuk floated over the apple selection of the storefront market. "It would be a bother for you not to know where those cameras are...." One taloned finger paused at his mouth. "What is the cost of gourmet apples to that?" The palid, blue-skinned creature was practically drooling over the fruit, and Light heard him mumble something about the wonderful color and juiciness.

Light shrugged. "Ah well, I suppose splurging isn't bad every once in a while."

"Really, Light??" The Shinigami said gleefully. "You're the best!"

"Clerk? I'll take one of the Gourmet Fuji's please." More quietly he said, "It's a shame I won't be able to buy any more apples for the next two weeks, just to get this one..."

Ryuuk gasped in horror. "TWO WEEKS??"

The clerk nodded in sympathy. "They are a bit expensive, but they are worth it."

"Light! Don't do this to me!" Ryuuk cried over his shoulder.

"Most assuredly," Light responded to the clerk, taking his time to draw out the the shinigami's dismay. "However, I wonder if maybe I should reconsider this time..."

Ryuuk loomed up in front of him, buggy eyes desperate. Light was able to avoid any change in expression. Barely - and only because of hard won practice.

"More is better!" it howled. "Well, not really, but I can't take two weeks of abstinence!"

"Hmmm..." Light considered aloud, torturing the death god. "Perhaps mother will buy the normal ones though."

"Light!!" the death god wailed. "Buy apples. Plural. I crave their sweet flesh! One is not enough!"

"I'm terribly sorry," Light said to the produce clerk, "but I think I will have to go with the normal Fuji apples this time."

"Certainly, sir."

They had hardly gotten out of view of the street when Ryuuk grabbed the bag of apples and started gorging himself as fast as he could. It was revolting. But the death god seemed to be enjoying himself. Perhaps too much.

Light decided not to dwell on that.

Instead, he was wondering what had prompted the surveillance. And how his father had taken the news, as surely he would be against it.

Not fair, Ryuuzaki. You can see me, but I cannot see you.


---

It had calmed L down considerably just to see Light, even though it was through the slightly grainy eyes of the cameras.

Light had unobtrusively gone out for a while, but now he was back. He shrugged out of his coat and hung it on a hook in the foyer, then ran a hand through his silky hair to ease any disarray the wind may have caused, his movements graceful as always.

L caught himself about to settle his thumb at his lower lip as he watched, and routed the behavior with a yawn.

"If you are tired, Ryuuzaki, there is no need for both of us to keep watch."

"I don't need much sleep," he answered dismissively, grabbing a caramel, chocolate and coconut covered cookie from the tray next to him. Nice try, Yagami-san, but I am not going anywhere. "Besides, it is barely evening yet." He languidly sipped his tea while the police chief ground his teeth.

L turned his attention back to the screen.

"Mother, Sayu, I'm back," Light called out as he removed his shoes at the entryway.

"Light, Light!" His sister bounded up to him. "Can you help me with my math again, pleeeeeeeease?"

"Of course. But I hope you remember what I showed you last time?"

"Weeeell," she drawled out impishly.

Light shook his head ruefully. "You'll never get into college like that," he chided.

"Light, be nice to your sister - and come here a moment? I need some help with the biscuits for dinner. I left the fish on too long, and the vegetables need-"

L blinked slowly at the scene of domesticity. Was this what families were like? It was intriguing. It seemed so wholesome, too - though he knew Light was nothing but an amazing actor. Still. He could almost... be jealous of Light for it. To have people that welcomed him returning to them...

The scene was an illusion though. The man next to him was proof. He knew Light felt nothing short of harassment when dealing with his father of late. And who knew how he really felt about his mother and sister? That smiling, wide-eyed face was merely a mask. One that was so believable it made L's chest hurt for the lie that it was.

Would Light ever genuinely wear that expression?

Was he even capable of personal attachments anymore, as he claimed?

"Mom, when's dad coming home?" Sayu asked.

"I don't know dear, he may be late again tonight. Try to be patient. The investigation is harder on your father than anyone. We need to be supportive right now."

There was the clinking of silverware. The Yagami's table setup was western style. Light buttered a biscuit solemnly and said, "I wish father had allowed me to continue assisting him. The sooner this case is over, the sooner we can go back to normal."

"You know he is just worried about putting you in danger. You are his only son after all."

"But so suddenly? I am in no more danger than I was when I began with the task force."

Isn't that the truth, L thought. You face no danger from Kira after all, not like the rest of us, being that you are him. You only face entrapment by the law, and we have come no closer to ensnaring you than when you first joined our efforts.

 "HAHA," Sayu snickered loudly, "Light's just mad because he got grounded and can't see his giiiirlfriend."

"Sayu," their mother hushed her. "How is Misa-Misa, Light? You'll see her at school, will you not?"

"I suppose," he sighed dramatically. "But I hardly think that is sufficient. Classes are so close together - they really only give you time to get from one to the next."

"I heard you kissed her at school," Sayu said brazenly.

"Sayu!" Her mother gasped. "Stop that right now, it is inappropriate!"

"Well, he did," she whined, pouting. "I heard dad tell you."

"It is nice to know everyone is up to date on my affairs," Light said coolly.

"What was it like?" Sayu perked up, fixing her brother with an awed look.

"Sayu!!"

"You'll know when you're older," Light said ambiguously.

Sayu's eyes were round and and excited. "Tell me, tell me, I wanna know now!"

"Sayu-"

"Do you really want to know... or would you rather I help you with your math?"

The young girl considered the options very carefully, but in the end, duty won out. "Math," she mumbled disappointedly. She got over that quickly though, and next she was asking, "When is Misa-Misa coming by again? Maybe she'll tell me?"

"I don't think she will be coming until I am no longer grounded."

"Errrargh!" Sayu fumed. "Why did you have to go and make dad ground you? This sucks!"

"Sayu, do not question your father," Their mother chided. "He has his reasons."

L felt Yagami-san's eyes burning a hole in the side of his head. L looked up at him. He did not appreciate all the man's glaring. "Do you require something, Yagami-san? A cookie perhaps?" L picked up several cookies, all sticking together in a gooey caramel-coated mess, and shoved them towards the man.

The police chief cringed back from the sweets, caught off guard. "N-No, I'm fine, thank you."

L shrugged. He bought the cookies up to his own mouth and took a large bite, amused that Yagami-san looked so horror stricken. The man had no stomach for sweets. L chewed loudly and watched him turn a little green. "Tea?" he offered, stirring his own with a piece of rock candy. Green, and sickly yellow. Intriguing.

"Ah, no. I'm... I'll be right back," Yagami-san hurried from the room.

L felt a smile break out over his face. He tossed the cookies back on the plate and wiped his hands clean on the white cloth napkin beside it, and settled down to watch Light in peace.

He sipped the tea and winced at the rapidly dissolving rock candy overpowering it. He pulled it out and tossed it aside, and steeled himself to the sugar rush he was going to get from the unnaturally and overpoweringly sweetened drink. Light would be appalled.

Speaking of Light... L's dark eyes swept back to his quarry. The Yagami family was wrapping up dinner.

Light was excusing himself from the table.

"Hey," Sayu protested, "Why do I have to help with the dishes?!"

"Because I will be helping you later," Light replied. "It's only fair. I need time for my studies as well. I'm going to take a bath while you finish up."

"Okay," she muttered and started helping her mother clear the table.

Light proceeded up the stairs, his hand trailing the banister in what looked to L like a sensuous gesture. L stared after him like he was trying to burn everything to memory - his articulate hands, the curve of his jaw and neck, the tight spread of well-defined shoulders... the secretive dip of his head and the slight upturn of a suppressed smile.

Does he know?


But how would he have found out we are watching him?

L leaned forward, scrutinizing the aristocratic features, but the boy's face was carefully blank once more. Just enough to let me know you know, is that it?

Light closed the bathroom door behind him and was now captured on a different camera. He then began to strip off his clothing at a slow and and infuriating pace. The corded, dark green sweater rose inch by inch to expose his flat stomach and lightly muscled torso and L found he was biting his thumb as he watched, willing the progress to hasten. At the same time, he felt sure Yagami-san would return any moment, and wondered how Light would possibly be this...  sensual, when he couldn't know who else was watching.

Light's beautiful body stretched as the sweater was pulled over his head and dropped into the clothes bin. L bit his thumb harder as the sight of his bared skin and long limbs evoked a stirring in his body. His hands recalled the feel of shoulders under his nails. He recalled the unbearable eroticism of Light pressing against him, moaning in his ear with quickened breath as they spent their pleasure.

Light's hands moved to the fastener of his slacks. They toyed with the zipper, drawing it down slowly. Teasingly. 

L's eyes were riveted to the spot. He licked his lips as the khaki cloth was pushed down lean hips. It felt so wrong to be able to see Light like this, unbeknown to the brunette. But it was also appealing. That he could stare and study as much as he liked, with no setbacks. Without the pitfalls that emerged when Light was aware of having the upper hand.

Though it was likely Light had the upper hand even now. And he knew it. Somehow he knew about the cameras. L swallowed as Light's hands trailed down his body, hooking in the waistband of his underwear, and pulling them down in the most tantalizing way possible.

L felt his skin flush as the garment was tossed aside and there was nothing more hiding Light from view. Light smiled to himself, as if merely in a good mood, but his eyes flicked to meet the camera, to penetrate L's stare with a flash of heat.

L felt desire wash through his body in a shameful sweep.

He knew. He totally knew! But
how?

Light moved into the shower itself, basking under the spray of heated water like it was a lover's caress.

L bit his lip as the view affected him to distraction. Why do I want him so much?

Your hands... your mouth...

Damn you...

L barely managed to wrest his eyes from the monitor as the hotel room door clicked, heralding it's imminent admittance to the police chief.  L  tucked his legs closer to his body and shoved a handful of cookies into his mouth in desperation. Speaking  was not a viable option at the moment.

Long years of habit enabled him dull his eyes to their usual blankness. He hoped.

"I'm sorry about that, Ryuuzaki, I just seem to be having a delicate stomach these... days..."

 Yagami-san trailed off as he watched L try to chew the contents of his overstuffed mouth. L guessed that maybe 3 or 4 cookies were in danger of falling slowly (there was rather a lot of caramel on them) from his mouth in a most embarrassing, and admittedly disgusting fashion.

L, unfortunately, smiled reflexively to curb the embarrassment and felt some cookies ooze down in caramelic suspension.

Yagami-san looked utterly horrified. Worse than that actually.

"I'm - I think I am actually done - for the evening," the police chief managed to get out in a faint voice before grabbing his stuff and making a hasty retreat.

L's head turned to follow him and he felt some of the mess land in his lap. Damn you, Light. He grimaced, and could not bear the thought of ingesting the massive sugar death he half held in his mouth. Even he had limits. But at least his accuser had fled. That was good for something. And if Yagami-san had noticed L's flushed face or that his son was currently in the shower, he'd given no indication.

L reached for the cloth napkin that lived beside his treat tray and relieved himself of the unsightly mouthful that was all Light's fault. Saccharine syrup lined his mouth even without the cookies. He looked at Light toweling off, and wished he could force it on the other boy - kiss him hard - and make him suffer the taste. L closed his eyes as that image streaked through him with intensity.

He licked his lips. How would Light deal with L then? If L were to take a more active role and force deep kisses on him like Light had done to him? Sugar coated - would Light resist him? Turn his head and evade?

L put a hand to his head as he kept imagining his response to every one of Light's. He rubbed his temples, trying to dispel the train of thought but without success. ...the brunette would avert his face and leave the long line of his neck wide open... vulnerable to lips and teeth...

L shook his head. Nowhere good. His thoughts were going nowhere good.

His body felt hot. Light was burning through to the core of him, wrapping around and within him so deeply he'd never break free. Only you could twist my mind like this.

How could one boy so forcefully make him aware of the allure of passion and the pain of obsessive desire?

Now the only question was... What was he going to do about it?

L's thumb found his lower lip and pressed down distractedly.  Was it worth the risk to find out if Light had been serious in his claims?  Or would it be unforgivably reckless to believe for even a moment that the brunette was not acting with the ultimate intent of extinguishing him?

L begrudgingly allowed himself the screen. Though he desperately hoped the brunette had concluded his scandalous behavior before his warped brain convinced him to give into doing something unspeakable, under the faulty argument that he was alone and no one would know.

Light wrapped the towel around his waist and exited the bathroom. It was a short distance to his own room,  a mere few feet, but L was aware of every infinitesimal movement it took to get him there.

Light went to his dresser and found a white T-shirt to pull over his beautiful torso. Another moment of rummaging and he had in hand a pair of slate grey boxers and a pair of muted blue plaid cotton pants. They fit him like a glove. Of course.

After dressing, Light padded down the stairs to retrieve his sister who was watching T.V.

L bit his thumb with a frown on his face. He was fascinated by this demure, thoughtful, and calm version of Light. He knew it was fake, but still, it drew him in. Light somehow managed to radiate the sort of wholesomeness that most people craved a taste of their entire lives. Peace, stability, affection. He affected all these things as easy as breathing. It was such a perversion of the truth. L had seen the darker side. The demanding, the terrifying, the sensual and the aggressive. And where was the evidence of that here? L's knowledge of reality transposed with what he saw, and the contrast engaged and intrigued him more than he would have thought possible.

Who would've thought this caring older brother who was patiently tutoring his sister could be one and the same as a deviant who forced intimacy on people he did not consider friends? Who would think that sweetly smiling mouth could deliver such hot, punishing kisses? That those mild amber eyes could burn with such wicked intensity?

Oh damn. L had almost managed to calm the restless desire with submersion into the puzzle of Light's personas and inner workings. But the desire was persistent.

L let his head fall back and stared vacantly at the pristine white of the hotel ceiling. He analyzed the state of his body, the rushing heat, the pulling in his lower belly, and the crackling jumpiness that suffused his limbs. Yes, it was utterly foreign. How could Light have done this to him? How could the other boy subject him to lust?

And who jumps people in bathrooms anyway?

L flinched as his stomach tightened with a jolt of heat. What was he saying? He'd just had the urge to jump Light in his bathroom not 2 minutes ago. But that didn't mean he'd jump him, jump him. Just a kiss. Yes, just to punish him with the flavor of sweets. And if his hands stroked down bare hips while he did so, that meant nothing. If he pushed Light up against the wall, pinned him there, that meant nothing either. Kisses weren't limited to the chaste use of lips, were they.

What Light had done to him was different.

To practically break in, and then force intimacy on someone like he did...

L scowled as his desire intensified, becoming even more focused despite his efforts.

This had to stop.

Light had truly twisted him if the thought of somewhat non-consensual sex was affecting him in this way.

L rubbed his hands over his eyes. What to do... How to proceed...

Perhaps what he really needed was closure. He'd been pursuing Light's friendship for what felt like an excruciating amount of time, and not only did the other boy dismiss his overtures, he upped the ante by surging in for something much more awkward, embarrassing and intense.

He really had no idea where he stood anymore.

And he wasn't entirely sure if he wanted what Light was offering, sincere or not.

But he couldn't help wondering what would happen should another situation present itself. Was it merely a one time thing, or would Light press close again? L half wanted him to, and was half afraid he would. He didn't know the parameters of this game. What rules determined the victor? If Light was insincere, then it would be L's acquiescence. If, on the other hand, he was sincere, then L would lose everything by pushing him away.

Light's victory in the first instance would mean death; L's victory would be Light's death.

In the second instance... there was no clear-cut game or victory. It was a coming together or falling apart.

All in all it was a game of risks.

A game of chicken.

What were they willing to put on the line as they faced each other? Because this was just as potentially deadly for the both of them.


---
TBC
 
A/N: Please review! You have no idea how sad it is to spend hoooooours writing, then hear like nothing back after an update. When I hear from you guys I get all motivated and energized.
I encourage you really tell me what you think! What you liked and who you wanted to beat in the head. I love stuff like that <3
POLL: Who gets more hate points? Light or Light's father?
(speak up if you have another person in mind) Those are the two i was hearing about, though plenty of you could also understand Light's father's actions as being those of a concerned parent.  L got no hate, he was rabidly defended. But Light? Where's the love for our boy? Must he -XXX- L before he gets any props? (YES?)
Note: Neither L nor Light will die in the making of this fic. Nor will they be maimed, tortured.....er...  *clears throat* ok, not physically tortured, but emotional torture, maybe. Anyhow, it will be an ending where they are together and alive and all that, because that is the POINT, right? Can't have pornz without that.