Death Note Fan Fiction ❯ A Balm for Social Failure ❯ Resolve ( Chapter 23 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

A Balm for Social Failure

(Chapter 23: Resolve )
Light x L

L begins to suspect something is missing from his life. He believes the key to be in social interaction - his weak point. At the appearance of the enigma named Light Yagami, he is challenged to rise to the occasion.

Disclaimer: see ch. 1 for full disclaimer

A/N: I hope the XXX scenes are made of good, for you guys. (I worry). Oh, and for those of you still wondering... neither Light nor L will be killed off in this fic. I swear to you.

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Chapter 23:

L groaned inwardly as he was forced to address the newly reassembled task force. It had taken an inordinate amount of time merely to get through to Yagami senior that the second Kira was, in fact, a second Kira and not proof that L had screwed up and murdered his son.

It was amazing how angelified people became in their death. Had everyone forgotten the hard evidence that had proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that Light was Kira? What was this ridiculous notion that the dead had done no wrong?

Not that they would give him the same treatment.

No. He would go down as the bag-eyed freak that dragged their precious, prep-boy scholar through the mud before having him killed.

Would glossier hair have helped him out there? Appearance seemed the only thing that truly influenced these people. Light would not have gotten away with half as much if he hadn't been so attractive. Or been such a fantastic actor. Or had such a winning smile. Or those long lashes to bat at people when he didn't get his way...

"So, I hope you will be able to understand how I came by this conclusion," L finished. "The currently active Kira is a second Kira. Any questions?"

Aizawa raised his hand. "Why is it that time has done nothing to mitigate my great dislike of you?"

Aizawa. He'd never liked Aizawa.

"That might be because you were never one to take handouts lightly, Aizawa-san. I can understand that, for a prideful man such as yourself, accepting our supplements to your missing income could chafe rather insistently. But let us keep this discussion on track, shall we?"

Matsuda sniggered as the afro-headed man abashedly withdrew his hand.

Mogi spoke up, not raising his hand. "You say this is a second Kira, but who is to say it is not really just the first Kira? I understand that their patterns are different... but over the last day or so, they seem to have changed again. Couldn't Kira have been laying low while someone else took the blame, and they are intentionally acting like they did the last time to make us think it was a second Kira? Or even that there was a third?"

Again with the disregard of the fact that Light had, yes, really, been Kira. Without a doubt. "Mogi-san, there would be no purpose in Kira doing that." Are you watching this, Light? You see how even now they think you were some kind of saint? Apparently, mass-murder is not a charge that can cling to and sully the white majesty of your robes.

Mogi frowned. "But he could fool us and lead us off the trail."

He could fool you, yes. "Mogi-san, forgive me, but if you don't understand it at this point, there is not much I could do to explain. In the instance of the first Kira, however, he was sentenced and charged after un-impugnable evidence was obtained. This, accordingly, is not the original Kira 'laying low'. It is a second person with the same power that the first and a desire to emulate them for the purpose of punishing those responsible for removing their idol. This is why we are focusing on female students of To-oh. It is not certain that this is where the second Kira may be found, but it has the highest chance of yielding success."

The task force collectively blinked at him as if the logic was shooting miles over their heads, which it shouldn't. It really shouldn't. L added, "We will check male students afterwards before moving on to the surrounding schools." This garnered a pointed growl from Light's father.

"Yagami-san," L addressed him, staring the older man in the eye. "I trust you understand the need to be thorough?"

"Yes."

"Speaking of which, I would like to know if you can recall any or all of the girlfriends or friends Light may have brought over in the past several years."

Yagami's jaw tightened. "That is a breach of privacy, regardless of whether the person is deceased or not. If someone were to be Kira, you'd be able to find them without such information."

And a point goes to you, Light. A shame; I was curious to see who you'd allowed that close to you... "You're right. My apologies, Yagami-san," he said automatically, his mind already moving on. How likely, and incurably stupid, would it be for Light's most current girlfriend to be the second Kira? Misa, was it?

He didn't think that Light would confirm or deny such a thing, were he to know. He would plead the 5th and wash his hands of the entire affair. But he did not seem to care much about the blonde girl from what he had seen. For what reason would he not just hand her over in the hopes that L would reciprocate with a bolstering of trust?

Hmmm.

In any case, there was not enough substantial reason for him to tap her communications and monitor her movements. Yet. Perhaps the task force could help him there. They might gather the necessary data which he could use as he liked. He'd decide at that time whether he wanted them in on it. But that would depend on Light and how he received the news.

---

Light pounced on him the moment he returned to the room; leaving Watari at the disposal of the task force in lieu of himself.

"You were thinking things at me, weren't you, Ryuuzaki?" Light accused gleefully.

"What makes you say that?" Damn him and the way he says my name like that. Light could purr the syllables from deep within his throat in such a way that it shot straight to his... unmentionables. It also reinforced the cat-like traits he seemed to posses. Like the way he moved, graceful, poised, stalking L like prey as he gloated.

"Don't lie," Light teased.

"How could I have lied? I haven't said anything yet."

"Lying by evasion," Light clarified with a smile. "Come on, tell me what you were thinking. You had the most interesting expressions."

Light's words curled through him, and he struggled to suppress their effect. The brunette's smirking face danced before his eyes and he longed to lose himself in the shattering warmth of those lips. "Nothing of note," he replied.

"You want to kiss me," Light declared smugly, arms crossing over his chest.

He laughed softly as L jerked back, a flood of denial and protestations on his tongue.

"Why are you holding back?" Light taunted, his pupils dilating and swallowing some of the rich amber of his irises. "Are you afraid you can't trust yourself?" The brunette sidled up to him, standing way too close. Closer than they'd been in a long time. Their chests would touch if he breathed too deeply, but he couldn't move away. He could detect the scent of Light's skin, the warm, dizzying quality of it, and the hunger it evoked in him.

Light carefully kept from touching him as he leaned in, lips brushing against L's ear. "Ryuuzaki," he murmured, the scandalous sound of desire rolling through those syllables snaked their way into L, quickening his body faster than thought.

Before he was aware, he had Light's face between his hands and the sultry heat of that mouth was opening to receive him.

Sensation overwhelmed him, gathering tightly in his abdomen. The feel of silky strands of hair and smooth, perfect skin beneath his fingertips... it was only natural to want to feel the rest of him... It was an impulse driven by greed - by wanting too long. His hands smoothed down Light's neck, over his chest, and down the flat planes of his stomach.

Light's hitched breath, as he ran hands over the bare skin of the other boy's hips, spiked through him relentlessly. The sound was feeding the ache that was growing between his thighs.

"Ryuu... zaki..." Light breathed out as L relinquished his mouth in favor of feeling the soft skin of his neck between his teeth. He pressed their bodies together as he tested the resilience of yielding flesh and surrounded himself in that perfect fragrance, gratified to hear the small noises the brunette made when he bit down and the growing solidity of the hardness against his hip.

His mind was hardly functioning as he pushed them upon the bed, but it was not really needed for the simple motions of unlatching Light's belt or unfastening his slacks. It was not necessary to note the removal of his own shirt by the hands of the flushed brunette beneath him, though it made him want to linger at the inviting, kiss-reddened lips for a small eternity.

He fought his way out of his pants, and Light out of his, and the glorious heat of their bared skin touching everywhere was nearly euphoric. Light's hands alighted on his lower back, stroking the skin as they slid lower, holding his hips captive as the brunette ground upwards. Their joined lips kept the secrets of their moans as the shuddering sensations flowed over them with every motion. Their tongues violated each other's mouths, demanding more and feeding the unbearably delicious heat of their arousal.

Light was perhaps in more control of his facilities. It took L a moment to identify the small tube the brunette held before his eyes.

"One of us... needs to use this," Light said matter-of-factly, though he was breathing hard and his eyes looked a bit glazed. "I don't care who."

L's brain sputtered on thoughts of why and how. Light would willingly take on the submissive role? He didn't care? Was he that into what they were doing or was this an overture of some kind?

Light took the decision out of his hands, by reaching down to grasp him with a slick hand. L shuddered violently as the nimble fingers caressed and coated him with the lubricant. He bit his lip against the undoing pleasure of it.

"If you don't think you can handle it..." Light trailed off, challenging his pride. His eyes held amusement, but the desire in them was still heady to look upon.

L was certain the brunette simply saw bottoming as the only way to achieve intimacy of this sort, and he might be right. L felt he was in control and the only threat he perceived was shaming himself in giving in to satiation too quickly. He took the proffered tube with only a slightly shaking hand, feeling a bit hesitant with the weight of taking such a step as this, his insecurity trying to unman him. He was half afraid the brunette would sneer or scoff at him if he did something inaccurately, but Light did nothing of the sort. If anything, he seemed patient as he walked L through the necessary preparations, though the lack of touching slowly frayed at the edges.

L kissed Light's upturned mouth and palmed his arousal, anxious excitement burning in the pit of his stomach as he mentally prepared himself to take the brunette in the same manner he himself had been taken countless times now. Light's hands ran down his sides and over his flanks, distracting him from anything that did not involve sensation, and the increasing of such.

"Just do it," Light murmured against his lips, "or I might have to rescind my offer."

"You're so impatient," he muttered back, almost grateful for the prompting. He eased forward slowly, recalling his own experience beneath the other boy, stopping when his breath caught and pushing forward when he seemed more relaxed. It was a technical process that he hardly had wits enough to uphold.

To feel Light in this way was indescribable.

By the time he was fully seated, they were both slightly out of breath and glistening with a thin sheen of sweat. Light's face betrayed in small ways his discomfort. His brows were drawn together slightly and his eyes were closed, making him look almost vulnerable. L tried to take his mind off of the incredible sensation of the brunette's body holding his so securely in favor of erasing that discomfort.

He lay a kiss on Light's flushed cheek and rueful eyes revealed themselves. "This is a bit... different than I anticipated," Light admitted reluctantly. "I can see why you were angry with me now."

L began to stroke Light's flesh to life, teasing him with trailing fingers. "It doesn't feel that way for long," he murmured, claiming the other boy's lips. Light's clever tongue elicited responses in him that drove straight into his throbbing flesh, prompting him to move deeper and deeper into the body spread before him.

Light's reaction was immediate, his spine arching as L touched that spot within him, his hands twisting in the sheets. "God, do that again."

L shuddered at the timbre of that voice, complying before he made conscious effort to do so. Again and again he moved within that body, as affected by the muscles bearing down on him with such sweet pressure as he was by the sight of the beautiful boy writhing beneath him, uttering sounds from his sinful mouth that would be L's undoing.

L stroked Light's arousal more firmly as his climax bore near, making the other bite his lip.

A sort of haze was washing over him, obscuring from his senses almost everything but the heat in his hand and the coiling, building, helpless ache that was throbbing between his legs. In. Out. He was skittering closer to the edge of his limits, his reserve shot through every time Light's hips canted up to welcome his entry.

His mind was blessedly blank of all the things that normally plagued him. There was no Kira here. No L. Just himself and Light and what they were creating between them. This desperate union of flesh and desire. The echoing of their harsh breathing. The bitten back moans. The-

A warm rushing surge shot through L as he felt Light's body shuddering around him, and heard his name on the brunette's lips. His tensed body seized as orgasm raked through it, sucking the life from him through the apex of their union. He collapsed upon Light, his burning arms giving out at last.

The world felt fresh and new and blessedly quiet.

He would like to see if anything had truly changed, but his eyes willfully stayed shut.

It didn't matter, he thought, lulled by the speeding beats of their hearts. The passing of time could only be marked in their slowing, in their steadying rhythm.

L noted the soft stroking of a hand on his hair before he fell asleep.

---

"...zaki."

"...yuuzaki."

L opened his eyes slowly, trying to make sense of the small, blurry electronic device dangling in front of his face. "Your phone," it said, wiggling insistently. Then, "God, you're no use." A beep sounded in L's ear and then a familiar voice.

"Hello?" the voice said. Pause. "L, are you there?"

Out of nowhere a sharp smack hit upon L's head making him curse. He blinked again and immediately the situation crystallized. Cell phone. Watari. Awakening strike to the head - Light. Light. Sex. Naked.

"No, you don't have to come up," L said hastily as the British man started to express his concern that something was not right. "I was a bit distracted and then stubbed my toe," he lied through his teeth. He ignored the look he knew Light was giving him. He tried not to lie, usually. But this situation required more than an omission of truth.

"You don't say," he replied. "Alright, I'll look into it, thank you." He hung up the phone gratefully, unleashing a massive sigh.

"I did what I could," Light defended, "You were completely out. I even shook you."

L took in the the sight of one very nude brunette, modesty not in evidence, and had to turn his head, the blush rising to his cheeks having enough force to make his head spin. "Perhaps you should put some clothes on, Yagami-kun," he said weakly. There were no sheets to cover themselves with as they had sex and slept on top of the made bed. Mortification was slowly ebbing over L's thoughts and he tried to push it from his mind.

"I let you have your way with me, and it's back to Yagami-kun? How cold of you, Ryuuzaki." Light unabashedly sprawled upon the bed, ignoring his suggestion to cover himself.

L flushed red from ear to ear. You're shameless! "I'm taking a shower."

"Can I join you?"

That walk to the bathroom, nude, was looking unbearably far. "Can I trust that you won't try and drown me in the tub?"

Light scoffed. "Like I would let you do all that only to drown you. Honestly, the way you mind works is perplexing." He smiled then. "But it never fails to keep me intrigued."

L looked at him appraisingly, trying to squash the urge to cover himself and give Light one more source of amusement. "All right, then."

"Besides," Light countered, "if I were deranged enough to attack you, I'd be down before you came to harm, wouldn't I? You've never been lax in that regard."

Ah, his containment system... His apparent containment system... if only Light knew. But he didn't even suspect, and that was why it worked. "On second thought," he pretended to consider. "You always like to be unpredictable, and I don't need you knocking yourself unconscious..."

"Oh, stop." Light rose to his feet and stretched, forcing L to look away again. "I promise not to drown you, now stop being shy and come on already. I don't feel like waiting while you sulk away all the hot water."

"I'm not being shy!" L protested as Light pushed him towards the bathroom.

"Mmhmm."

"And what would I have to sulk about?"

Light started the water running. "Oh, just that you totally breached the little restriction you'd placed on yourself, that's all. Get in."

L stepped into the shower, and moved aside to give the brunette room. "What are you talking about?" he growled, feeling put out.

Light stepped under the water, looking like he was enjoying the warm spray way too thoroughly. "Don't be tedious, you know what I'm talking about."

Actually, L did. He should have realized that Light would figure it out. He was rather hoping the brunette would assume he was merely angry or uninterested instead of trying in vain to keep a pact with himself - that he would refrain from anything physical with the other boy. The premise for it had been solid; he would practice abstinence while he was unsure of Light's intentions. It sounded great in theory.

But he'd so completely fucked that up, it was pathetic. And Light hadn't really done anything active to initiate it. A little teasing, a little flirting, a sexy voice in his ear and he'd practically ripped the other boy's clothes off.

"It's adorable how embarrassed you get," Light teased, his amber eyes glinting as he rinsed shampoo suds from his hair.

"Shut up," L grumbled, getting even more embarrassed if he let himself remember the things they'd done. Wipe that clean, don't think about it, he told himself. Besides, shouldn't Light be the one suffering from an affliction of modesty after letting him...?

A pleased smirk had affixed itself to the brunette's face and it did not appear to be dissipating.

Light made way to give him a turn under the water. "Don't be so uptight, Ryuuzaki." He placed a butterfly kiss on L's nose as he slipped past. "It makes me want to ravish you," he added slyly, rattling L with the husky timbre of his voice in his ear. He laughed as he easily evaded L's disgruntled fist.

I can't win, L thought sullenly.

---

Light found that he was in an incredibly good mood.

He hadn't exactly anticipated L jumping him, nor had he ever expected to willingly let someone take the dominant role from him, but it had all turned out in a way that left him no room for complaints. It was amazing how much control and power could be had in the 'submissive' role. L was caught in his pace just as much as ever, only he was convinced the opposite was true.

Hmmm, and after all this time of wanting some sort of contact with his stubborn companion... To initiate the entire thing, all he'd had to do was press L without actively perusing him, and the the dark-haired boy had quickly lost the battle with his self-control. Delightful.

It thrilled Light to know he'd been trying so hard to hold back. It almost made up for the annoyance and frustration the detective had put him through these last many days.

Yes, his mood was elevated to the point where he could truly enjoy harassing his dark-eyed partner, and embarrassing the hell out of him just because he could. He loved the way the accusing looks he received seemed to be telling him that he should be the one experiencing discomfort over the intimacy they'd shared. Don't you see, L? You feel that way because you never were in control. I play you like a fine tune, my friend.

Even Ryuuk's appearance as they were in the shower could not drag down his good humor. Nor could the 10 day ultimatum. He felt quite capable of dealing with all of it now.

Ryuuk, he could ignore. Truly, it was a pain, but the alternative - leaving L alone - was much less pleasant. The 10 days? He already had the workings of his tactic on that. And the thing with the second Kira, his sweet little unwanted thorn in the side. Misa...

That was not as easy a fix as he would have liked, but his mind was whirring away at the problem even now. The background hum to his active thoughts. He would have a solution soon. In the meantime, L was secreting away information pertaining to his progress tracking the new Kira, and he intended to wring some of it from him. It could be helpful, and might alter his strategy, depending on what was revealed.

The other thing posing an issue was the strange alteration in Misa's behavior. He would ask Rem about it but the stupid thing had been making itself scarce. He could tell Ryuuk to fetch her, but... the black-winged Shinigami would get a kick out of his request and a greater kick out of ignoring him.

No matter. He smiled. It would work itself out.

"Your smiles are creepy, Light," Ryuuk piped up.

Light tilted his eyes to meet the gaze of his constant shadow. "Yours are worse, I'm sure."

Ryuuk startled him by dropping almost on top of him to stare him in the face. He recoiled - the Shinigami's pure white skin was a horror to behold, especially up close. Its face looked immobile like carved wax, and yet it could stretch and shift. Yellowed eyes rolled in their sockets as the death god leered, the irises slow to train upon him. "You only say that because I have extra teeth," it said.

...not only that, Light thought with disgust.

"I'll have you know," it continued, so close that Light was grateful incorporeal beings could emit no smell, "Where I am from, a profusion of teeth is considered a mark of beauty."

"You don't say." Profusion? That was certainly beyond the death god's vocabulary until now. Light narrowed his eyes. He was correct, then. More proof the thing liked to act dumb when it really was not. It was not intelligent in the standard way - it was more of an animal cunning. Though... the vocabulary altering was a perplexing development. "So if you were covered in eyes as well, you would be even more popular in your realm, hm? Multiplicity being the attractive trait?"

"Not always. The one covered in eyes is not well liked. She is also very large."

Oh god, whoever designed these cursed creatures? The eyes thing had been a joke. "Well then, maybe you should go back to your realm and make good on that reputation you've got going for you." And stop hovering over me! He was almost laying flat on his back to get any sort of distance from it.

The Shinigami laughed, various buckles and things upon it jingling in accompaniment. "It is not as simple as that, Light."

The rolling eyes thing was starting to make Light feel queasy. It was a new behavior, one that he would probably get used to in time, but...

"Even if I wanted to go back, I can't," it chortled to itself.

"And... why not?" he asked hesitantly. He had a feeling he was not going to like what it said.

"I have a condition to fulfill before then."

"Well, what is it?" he snapped. Patience was a virtue he was running a little short on.

"You aren't going to like it," the Shinigami cooed.

Light had had enough. He rolled out from under the oppressing presence of his stalking shadow. "Forget it." He was wasting time. Time that could be much better spent observing the task force and gleaning what he could from the goings on in that room. It might give him something to work with when he saw L later. There were only a few days left, so he had to make this snappy.

"Give me an apple and I'll tell you," the death god's voice trailed over his shoulder.

"And how am I supposed to do that?"

"Ask for one for lunch and say you're saving it for later," it huffed. "You should have thought of that. You're just being difficult."

Cunning, yes. But logical also. Ryuuk was betraying his true nature more and more. "Why, Ryuuk, how could you say such a thing? I have been nothing but accommodating. You, on the other hand, like to be underhanded, as well as spy upon people's private affairs." Light turned in his seat to give the thing the full effect of his affronted act. "I'll tell you what," he placated. "I'll get you an apple and forgive you if you agree to bring Rem to me so I can speak with her."

Its eyes bore a glazed and deadly look. "It's a good thing your impudence amuses me, human." Its white face loomed close like a spectre. Rows of teeth glinted like razors and were hard to look away from.

Light held his ground, certain he knew the creature well enough to predict its actions. "That is why you chose me, isn't it?"

The otherworldly eyes closed as Ryuuk suddenly became wracked with laughter. "Yes, yes," it agreed, confirming Light's previous suspicion. The grin it wore stretched hideously. "I'll tell you what," it said. "I'm going to go, but before I do, I'll leave you with a parting gift."

Light was poised, waiting. Did this mean it was going to retrieve Rem? Or...

"Its a secret we usually don't tell to humans, but I just want you to know."

Odd, Light thought. Ryuuk wasn't one to do such a thing.

The Shinigami clicked its teeth. "If you give ownership of your Death Note to another human... or even if you lose or destroy it... You are still the original owner."

Light let out a breath he hadn't known he was holding. That was it? "Well, thank you, Ryuuk, for that enlightening piece of-"

"Meaning," the death god continued, tapping the Death Note it wore on its hip. "My realm is barred to me until you, the original owner, are dead."

Light felt all the color drain from his face.

Certain death?

Death that could come at any time? For there was no way to change the fact that he was the first human to have touched the notebook, to have used it. No planning or trickery could undo that simple fact. In short... he was completely fucked.

"Don't be down, Light," it said gleefully. "Lucky for you, you keep me entertained. And as long as that is the case, I will probably keep you around."

'Probably...' The bastard thing was screwing with his head! Light beat down the wild, desperate urge to ask the thing all of what he did that was so entertaining so he could at least try to make provisions against his death. Maybe it was a lie? He could hope...

...but he had a sinking feeling it was true.

"Just keep doing what you always do," the Shinigami said. "You know what I like." It began to step through the wall, but paused. "Oh, and don't let the detective see me," it added helpfully. "I wouldn't want my presence to alter your behavior."

And then it was gone.

Light slowly put his head in his hands and clenched his fingers tightly into his hair until it hurt. "Fuuuck," he exhaled harshly.

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TBC

A/N: I'm getting in the habit of these notes now. What changed? I have no idea.

I have a nice several chapters lined up! (Currently, chapter 27 is beating me in the head. It is a tricky one. Pivotal and all of that.) Now I just need to beg my beta to conjure a moment to read and stuff so I can continue the weekly updates. :)

Is anyone going to JACON this year?

I was just informed that I will be going. (gasp) But I don't know yet if I will be cosplaying L like I did at AWA (Anime Weekend Atlanta). There were a LOT of people there. 11,000 paid attendees. It gave me crowd fear.