Death Note Fan Fiction ❯ Brilliance Tarnished ❯ Sinking In ( Chapter 2 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
By: kk_twin 
L realizes that he doesn't know as much as he once thought he did about himself or about Raito.
Anime/Manga: Death Note Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Psychological / Drama | Type: Yaoi | Uploaded On: 06.26.2008 | Pages: 7 | Words: 9.0K | Visits: 701 | Status: Work In Progress
L realizes that he doesn't know as much as he once thought he did about himself or about Raito.
Anime/Manga: Death Note Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Psychological / Drama | Type: Yaoi | Uploaded On: 06.26.2008 | Pages: 7 | Words: 9.0K | Visits: 701 | Status: Work In Progress
A/N: Hello again! More fic! And by the way, please feel free to message me if you notice mistakes. I haven't had much time to proofread and edit.
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L stared sullenly at the TV screen, but only half of his attention was on the news at the moment. Raito’s behavior was occupying the other half of his mind.
What was going on? Raito had always had those teasing moments, but what he had been subjected to in the bathroom had no precedent. He had never been flirted with before, so he couldn’t even say for certain that Raito had been flirting with him. But his embarrassment and Raito’s subsequent smugness were simply too conveniently matched.
It had been deliberate. But why would Raito go to such lengths to embarrass him? Was it because of how he had flinched last night? If this was the other boy’s new way to torment him, it was working splendidly. He must not give his captor any more ammunition. He must not react! His will was stronger than this.
L brought his free hand to his lips, gnawing determinedly at the side of his thumb. Damn Kira for analyzing him and observing him. Damn him for kicking a hole in the profile that L had meticulously constructed from observation, evidence and what had been inevitable conclusions. And damn Kira for being so beautiful.
Not just beautiful. Alluring. Charming. Persuasive. Brilliant. Humorous.
He winced as he bit down on his thumb too hard, but continued to chew and stare fixedly at the TV screen, no longer seeing it. Anxiety scrabbled in the pit of his stomach.
Why did he react to Raito at all? He’d never found anyone attractive before. When had he begun to think that those features were beautiful? When had he begun to pay attention to the changing colors of those eyes, the myriad expressions that flickered across that face, so subtle and swift that no one else but L saw them?
Was he so weak that he became vulnerable to the first person to treat him like a human being and not another resource, or an extraordinary mind without any emotions whatsoever?
Raito had always looked directly into his eyes - directly into him, it seemed. It was extremely disturbing that the only person that had ever truly known him was a sociopath and a mass-murderer. And it was even more worrisome that said sociopath was the only person that he enjoyed bantering with and sharing tea with, the only person that he could relate to.
But in actuality, he and Kira were nothing alike. It was only Raito that he related to. But there was no separating one from the other any longer.
L suddenly tasted the metallic tang of blood in his mouth and withdrew his thumb, surprised. He had bitten down too firmly and hadn’t even realized. That was the alarming affect that Raito, and even thinking about Raito, had on him. It had to stop. It had to.
How long would he be forced to look at that face, finally unmasked? Raito was a murderer. Raito was cruel. Raito was cold.
But also endearing. There, the error in his assessment. How could someone like Raito be considered endearing?
He watched the blood ooze slowly from the small cut on his thumb, hypnotized.
It was imperative that he have this sorted out in his mind by the time Raito returned. Essential.
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“Thank you, I’ll just be a few minutes,” Raito assured the bank employee. He entered the indicated private room and sat down, opening his safe deposit box.
Contained within it were L’s cell phone, his own, false identification, both Death Notes and miscellaneous odds and ends that he didn’t want accessible to just anyone.
He drew his cell phone out and checked his messages, lips compressing with displeasure as he listened to Misa’s whining voice. She wanted to see him. As usual. The only reason he continued to communicate with her was to allay further suspicions and to keep Rem from deciding to kill him out of hand.
He must not let Misa know that L was with him, nor that he had any interest in keeping the detective alive. It would give her – or more accurately, Rem – something with which to control him and blackmail him.
Not that he cared about L very much at all, but he had gone through a great deal of effort to preserve the other boy. Only he would say when L was to die.
Could he set up a situation in which Rem would be forced to kill someone else to protect Misa? That would be effective in removing the shinigami from his path. Yes, perhaps he ought to look into arranging such a situation.
Raito smiled to himself as he deleted Misa’s message. Checking his watch, he confirmed that she should be in the middle of a photo shoot. He called her home phone and quietly crooned plausible excuses about why he couldn’t see her just yet - the task force, suspicion, et cetera.
The part about the task force was true, however. That would be his next stop. It shouldn’t be too difficult to convince them that he was innocent of involvement with L’s disappearance, however. No one had seen the two of them leave together last night. As far as they knew, L had remained at headquarters when he himself had left for the evening. That would be his story.
The other reason he couldn’t see Misa at the moment was that it would simply take too long. He didn’t want to leave L to his own devices for that long, and not just because he feared the detective might somehow find a means of escaping. He also did not want to be burdened with an angry L, and his teasing this morning had apparently gone too far for his companion’s comfort.
Amusing, and most fascinating. Of all people, he would never have suspected L as being one to have a weakness to charm and physical contact. Now that he knew, he would hammer that vulnerability relentlessly. He had initially been troubled as to how to control the detective without knowing any of his weaknesses, but that was now a moot concern.
He considered L’s entertaining reactions as he listened to the second message. It was his mother asking if he would like to have dinner with the family on Friday – tomorrow evening.
Raito quickly returned the call and left a message confirming that he would love to, then turned his cell off and returned it to the metal box. He lightly stroked his fingers over L’s silver flip-phone, smirking to himself as he thought of the ‘L’ wallpaper on the phone. You’re actually quite as vain as I am, he thought with something akin to satisfaction.
His own black phone was rather minimalist compared to L’s, which had all sorts of functionality, but their phones were actually very similar in appearance. This also pleased him for no reason that he could articulate.
He picked up L’s phone and opened it, noting that the detective had several messages, as well. As he listened to the messages, he frowned. They were all from Watari, asking why L had missed his usual rendezvous with the older man, and in the last message a reference was made to some plan that the two of them had arranged in the event of L’s death. Watari was saying that he would active said plan if he did not hear from L soon.
Dammit. He hadn’t wanted to be troubled with disposing of Watari, but what else could he do? He would have to figure out a way. Raito closed the phone and replaced it back in the box, disgruntled.
L, why are you so damned annoying?
He closed the box again and stepped out of the room, signaling that he was done. The young woman that had assisted him initially ran right over, beaming up into his face with near-adoration.
“Are you finished, sir?” she asked breathlessly.
He smiled back. “Yes, thank you. You’ve been most helpful,” he scanned her name tag surreptitiously, “Otsuma-san.”
She fluttered at him a moment more before he managed to extricate himself. As he stepped out of the bank, his strides lengthened and the smile on his face disappeared as if it had never been.
Now it was time to confront the members of the task force and make excuses about why he wouldn’t be able to spend much time there today. Perhaps something about being tired, and wanting to work on the Kira case at home on his own for the evening. Yes, perhaps that would work. He knew they would be somewhat suspicious of him due to L’s annoying habit of broadcasting the percentage of likelihood that Raito was Kira to everyone in the vicinity.
Now…now he had the freedom to smack that clever mouth if it said something that he disliked. He would prefer not to resort to doing such things, as leaving L untended was apparently a more effective punishment, but…it thrilled him that the option was open to him. Any option was open to him. He loved having complete control over the detective’s life. There was no other feeling as beautiful, nothing else that could give him such a high.
He was in a splendid mood. Perhaps he would pick up a treat for his sullen captive on his way ‘home’ from headquarters – and after he checked up on his real apartment and made it look a little lived in by cooking something to leave in the refrigerator and throwing some clothes in the hamper, et cetera. Ah yes, and he mustn’t forget to water the plants.
Sooner or later, the task force would want to investigate his apartment when L did not return. He would be ready for them.
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L was startled into full wakefulness when the front door suddenly opened. Without realizing it, he had begun to fall asleep with his back against the pole for support. A good thing he hadn’t been left to sleep like that – he would have been rather displeased if he had fallen off of the footrest and wrenched his arm or worse.
He heard the refrigerator door open and close, and then the sound of Raito’s footsteps coming back towards him.
Raito stopped and stood motionless in the foyer, just looking at him. The shadows covered most of the other boy’s face where he stood, making pools of darkness in the hollows of his eyes.
“Raito?” he asked tentatively. “What time is it?”
“Six or so,” the shadowy figure replied tonelessly, still not moving.
“I have to use the restroom, Raito,” he said pointedly.
“Of course you do, Ryuuzaki. Did you miss me?”
L blinked several times, squinting in surprise at Raito. “Er…no? It was only a few hours. But it was very boring here.” He had missed Raito a bit, but he wasn’t going to say such a stupid thing.
“Oh? Perhaps I should leave for a while.” Raito’s tone was slightly playful, but also had a slight edge to it.
Great, antagonize the sociopath as soon as he comes home. Mind clearing, L tried again. “Well, perhaps I did miss you…a little,” he admitted grudgingly. Nauseating. He would have vengeance on Raito for this one day.
Raito finally stepped into the light, wearing his usual mysterious smile. “Ahh, I suspected as much. Why do you attempt to hide your feelings from your friends, Ryuuzaki? Honestly, I don’t understand you at all.” The sly smile creeping over Raito’s face said otherwise, however.
Glad you’re so pleased, Raito-kun, he thought in irritation. It vexed him even more that he didn’t even dare to say it aloud.
He watched as Raito walked over to him, thinking it unfair that the other boy was so graceful – dancing in slow motion, every movement a perfect coordination of long, shapely limbs. He suppressed the urge to bite his thumb again. This way of thinking was getting him nowhere.
“What’s wrong? You seem…disturbed.” Raito’s amber eyes were concerned, sympathetic.
He wasn’t falling for it. The predator sensed weakness – that was all. “I’m fine, Raito, just bored out of my mind. If we weren’t such close friends, I’d say that you were trying to torture me.” He kept his tone light and benign.
“You’re angry with me,” Raito stated flatly, glancing at the TV screen. “Nothing that I do makes you happy, Ryuuzaki. Nothing. The only thing I could do to please you would be to become Kira for you.”
What?? He frowned up at his captor, noting the tenseness that lined the other boy’s body. But he was more concerned with the words that were coming out of left field. Was that truly what Raito thought and felt? Ridiculous! He could deal with the logical RaitoKira, but not the emotional one. And he knew better than to point out to Raito that there was an emotional RaitoKira, because his ‘friend’ seemed largely unaware of that fact.
“We’ve been over this. You know that I would rather you not be Kira, Raito-kun—“
“No ‘kun’!” Raito raged, suddenly whipping around to slap him in the face.
The shock of it knocked him off balance and he ended up sprawled on the floor, his arm wrenched. The pain that seeped into the muscles of his shoulder and back told him that he had strained them a little. He gritted his teeth, suddenly angry.
“Ryuuzaki!” Raito exclaimed in concern, moving to his side with alacrity.
As soon as Raito was within range, L kicked him in the side. This was apparently the wrong thing to do.
Raito immediately seized the offending limb in an iron grip and cuffed L in the head yet again, but more seriously this time. “Don’t.fucking.kick.me,” Kira growled in a menacing and deadly voice.
L froze, despite the fact that his ringing ears only made him more furious with Raito. He did not, however, want to have a physical fight with his captor when he only had one hand to use and no range of movement. He was horrified to hear himself make a slight choking sound as his own helplessness overwhelmed him.
Raito drew closer to his face, amber eyes as pale as he had ever seen them. “Look what you made me do,” the brunette whispered chidingly, lightly touching L’s bleeding lip.
L flinched, unable to keep from stealing glances up at that face, but he had nowhere to go. Get away, get away, get away…don’t touch!
Those eyes closed slowly, and as if in a dream, Kira leaned in and delicately licked at his bleeding lip.
His heart stopped. Stopped and froze before suddenly speeding up wildly. He wanted to escape, needed to run away from this insane boy, but he was trapped. TRAPPED, and utterly deprived of his precious freedom.
“What you always make me do…” Kira repeated huskily, licking L’s lip more boldly. Sensually.
L shuddered and closed his eyes. He couldn’t help it. He wasn’t sure what to do in such a situation. He had studied and observed just about everything else that was relevant to his existence and the necessary interactions with others, but he had never thought that he would be in this position. It wasn’t even a kiss. As far as he could tell, Raito was intent upon his blood. Which only made things worse. He could have clearly rejected a kiss. He had no idea what to do with someone licking his bloody lip - the lip they had cut.
His entire body was shaking. He was ashamed, and terrified, and ashamed of being terrified. He was angry and disturbed, unsettled and confused as to what to do. And he was disgusted, disgusted by the thrill chasing up his spine and radiating through his stomach.
L became aware of someone murmuring. He realized with a start that it was himself, murmuring, “Stopitstopitstopit,” in a hoarse litany.
The insistent lapping at his lip continued for a moment more before ceasing altogether, and he tried to focus on Raito’s hand where it lay against the side of his face, fingers slightly twisted in his hair.
“Do I frighten you so much, Ryuuzaki? Just cleaning the blood from your lip? I apologize for hitting you. You know I didn’t mean it.” Raito’s tone was faux-tender and cajoling, trying to bring him back to reality so that he could appreciate his torture.
He opened his eyes warily, just a bit freaked out by the smear of blood evident on Raito’s full, sensual lips. “That…was unsanitary,” he choked out, attempting to enforce some normalcy.
Raito’s eyes had returned to their usual color, and his expression was contrite. “You shouldn’t have kicked me, Ryuuzaki. You know that I have a temper.”
“You shouldn’t have slapped me,” he shot back.
“You shouldn’t have disobeyed me, Ryuuzaki,” Raito growled. “That was what began this.”
“It was an accident!” he exploded, pushed beyond his limit. “Calling you with an honorific is a habit!”
“I apologized already,” Raito murmured, leaning in again as if he intended to lick at L’s lip once more.
He blocked the attempt with an arm across his captor’s collarbones. “It’s fine,” he said pointedly.
“But you’re bleeding again,” Raito insisted, expression focused and determined.
“Raito! It’s—“ His arm was suddenly forced back by his captured wrist, and the heat of the other boy’s mouth was back, gently sucking at his wounded lip.
He wasn’t one for cursing, but…what.the.fuck!
“Raito!” he barked out, trying to turn his head away. “This is completely unnecessary, and you’re invading my personal space to an absurd extent. Stop it, or I’ll be forced to kick you again.”
“But this is what friends do, and you’re my closest friend. And my only.”
“Raito, I have to ask where you picked up this insane notion of friendship. Bondage, beating and lip licking are not really friendship activities.”
“And how should you know, Ryuuzaki?” Raito taunted softly, drawing back to look into his eyes from a minimal distance.
“I am familiar with common culture and typical human interactions and their range of behaviors during said interactions,” he explained. “Can you please get off of me now? I despise close contact with people, Raito. You know that. If we are friends, you must respect my personal space.”
“If we are friends, you shouldn’t mind being close to me, Ryuuzaki. Perhaps you’re playing me false, and all you’ve ever cared about is your notion that I might be Kira.” Those eyes were beginning to resemble Kira’s again.
“Please, I’m exhausted. And I have to use the restroom. Please allow me to do so, and then I’d like to request that we go to bed.” And I’d like to kick you in the head.
L was subjected to watching Raito’s pupils pin in response. He really didn’t want to know why any of what he had just said should elicit such a response from his captor. But he was about to discard the profile that he had put together so painstakingly. It had once been accurate, but at this point, it seemed that almost everything they had known about Kira was now useless.
“Very well, Ryuuzaki. Is your arm all right?”
“It hurts a bit, but I’m certain that the damage is not permanent. It doesn’t require any attention, although I’d prefer not to have it be the arm that is handcuffed tonight.”
“Of course. You know that I’d do anything for you.” Raito was smiling.
L shot a searching glance at the other boy to gauge the tenor of that smile. There was no way that Raito meant that seriously. It was simply too obnoxious, especially after what had just happened. It was another taunt.
“Yes, I’m sure,” he muttered as he collected himself and sat up. “I couldn’t ask for a better friend.”
“I’m glad that we’re in agreement on that,” his captor replied smoothly, freeing L’s handcuffed hand and helping him up.
L wisely kept his retort to himself.
Raito waited patiently until he was certain that L was asleep before slipping quietly out of bed. He moved with silent stealth to the detective’s bedside and stared down at the vague form for a moment before leaning down to bring his lips near L’s ear.
“I’m Kira,” he whispered sweetly into that ear, lips brushing its curve lightly as he spoke.
Immediately he was back in his bed as if he had never left it, lying motionless and listening.
L awoke with a gasp, actually sitting up in bed. Aside from frantic breathing, there was silence for a very long moment before the detective said, “Raito?” in a thready voice.
He played dead, watching his captive’s darker shape against the general darkness of the room with half-closed eyes. He didn’t want the gleam of his eyes to give him away. There was precious little ambient light leaking into the room. Only the soft light that he left on in the foyer bled its way in under the door. It was just enough.
“Raito,” L whispered to himself, somehow conveying fear through the susurration.
Raito felt a smile take over his face – the sort of smile that displeased L the most. He had never enjoyed himself so much in his entire life. Why hadn’t he done this before?
L was easy to play, but despite that, so very entertaining to play with. None of his other toys or distractions had ever pleased him like this or filled him with such wondrous glee. This annoying detective was the best thing that had ever happened to him – in disguise.
The other boy had settled back to lie down again. Raito sensed more than saw that L was watching him in the darkness.
That’s better, L. Focus all of your mind upon me. No distractions! You need to be paying attention when I’m stalking you. That’s how you played into my hands in the first place – by allowing yourself to be distracted by lesser things.
But it was too late for L now. He had already fallen into Raito’s hands. He would not permit the detective to escape him, not ever.
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Raito resisted the urge to prop his head on his hand as he pretended to focus on Misa. He was actually keeping an eye on Rem while the model chattered on.
“We should make wedding plans, Raito—“ Misa began, insipid eyes full of hope.
“Kun,h he interjected firmly. gRaito-kun. Wefre not married just yet, Misa, and you mustnft assume that Ifll be able to make plans right now. Ifm very busy and I donft have time for that sort of thing.h
She pouted at him, winding a finger in one of the blond locks falling over her shoulders. gBut wefre in love, Raito-kun! And why canft I just call you Raito?h
He had fond thoughts of L. If only he were spending this time with the other boy instead of being tormented by Misa.
“Because it isn’t proper, Misa! Think of your reputation – and mine. You know how I feel about propriety.”
She frowned thoughtfully, seemingly tripped up by considering the notion.
He could feel Remfs ugly gaze boring into his temple.
“You still haven’t gotten the chance to kill that detective, have you?” Misa asked in a rare moment of solemnity.
“Don’t say things like that here,” he hissed, glancing around the restaurant surreptitiously as he sipped his third glass of scotch. “Besides, it won’t matter once this world belongs to Kira.”
Raito resisted the urge to sneer at them both. As if he would kill L now after so carefully preserving him.
“Aren’t you being overly confident?” Rem asked coolly.
“Not at all,” he assured the shinigami. “L is easy enough to distract.”
Internally, he was seething. He loathed being questioned about his ability to fulfill his goals. And he found it intolerable when others tried to influence his actions and choices.
He found his gaze wandering to track a tall, slender boy across the restaurant. The boyfs posture was slightly sloppy, just like Lfs, and the dark hair was vaguely reminiscent.
Raito pressed the glass of scotch harder to his lips, recalling the wild, frightened look the detective had worn when trapped beneath him. Those large, dark eyes were quite striking, especially when the sleepless shadows beneath them had faded.
That beautiful, delectable fear, the bleeding lip trembling beneath his stroking tonguec
Raito set his glass down determinedly, dragging his gaze back to the very blond Misa with considerable effort. gIfm very tired, Misa. I know itfs unfair, but Ifm going to have to cut this short.h
“Will you at least think about where you’d want to have our wedding, Raito-kun?” she entreated, gazing up at him with wide eyes that did nothing at all for him.
“Yes, I’ll give it careful thought.” He casually laid money on the table and picked up his coat, shrugging into it.
He smiled once more at Misa and Rem before walking with determined steadiness down the aisle towards the door. As he walked, he scanned the room again for the boy he had seen earlier, then smirked to himself.
It didnft matter. The person the boy resembled was helpless to do anything but wait on his pleasure. His pleasurec Raito lifted his hand and pressed the back of his fingers to his lips unconsciously, strolling out into the night.
He should probably give L the pie. With the awkward events of last night, he had never had a chance to mention it. Perhaps theyfd have tea when he got home, and the detective could have his treat. The domesticity of it pleased him in a way having girlfriends and being with his family never had.
But there was still the irksome matter of preventing Watari from executing whatever contingency plan that he and L had concocted. After thinking fruitlessly for a moment as he walked, he shrugged. His mind had a way of working things out on its own. It was one of the reasons he always carried a voice recorder with him.
No matter how he tried, he couldnft stop thinking about the detectivefs delightful reactions to him. Fear, vulnerability, disturbance. All of the things he craved and had always wanted to see breaking the surface of that reserved and unflappable exterior. Now that he had his wish, he was addicted. He couldnft stop trying to provoke those reactions.
It was even more intolerable to waste his time with Misa and the task force when he knew he could be tormenting L in new and exciting ways. Without limits, without boundaries. That was what he loved the most - violating Lfs boundaries and pushing him beyond his limits.
Shake for me. Break underneath me. Cry, and cry for mercy.
Raito smiled to himself, but he felt slightly restless. Somewhat anxious and displeased. There was a growing hunger for something within him, and he had no idea what to do about it.
The streets were quiet and deserted in the falling dusk, with only one or two people walking by on the other side on his way to ehisf neighborhood.
Pushing L too far would ruin his enjoyment, he was certain. It might even stir a pang of guilt or two from the dust at the bottom of his nonexistent conscience.
So perhaps break was too strong a word. He merely wanted to fracture the other boy. That was all. Just crack L open a bit to see the hot, melting inside.
He was certain that it would be well worth it. Most people lived on the surface, but both he and L concealed their true selves deep within. L had seen some of his true face, but he had yet to see Lfs. He planned to change that very soon.
As he turned down the street to the apartment he kept L in, he felt his mood lift slightly.
Raito licked his lips, as they were still tingling from the three glasses of scotch that hefd had. He didnft often drink, but he felt that this evening had certainly merited some alcohol to numb the tedium. He couldnft keep up the charade with Misa for much longer. It was taking up too much of his time and energy.
He found his feet ascending the stairs to the apartment, and his heart leapt within his chest in an unsettling fashion. What was going on with his mood tonight? Perhaps he ought to make a point of avoiding the alcohol.
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At the sound of the door, L looked up slowly from the tedious book that Raito had allowed him for this latest abandonment, registering that the brunette had entered the apartment and turned into the kitchen. Raito was currently rummaging in the refrigerator.
“Raito, this book is awful. I would ordinarily never say this, but this book deserves to be burned. I certainly hope you brought me something home from your date to make up for this drivel.”
Raito turned to face him over the bar, setting something on the counter. gActually, Ryuuzaki, I bought you a treat yesterday, but wasnft able to give it to you then. Your behavior has been considerably better today, so I thought we might have some tea together while you had your dessert.h
“You brought me sugar?” he exclaimed, leaning forward in excitement.
“I did, and they only have this particular pie available a couple times a year. Fresh buko pie. Do you want it?” Raito’s eyes were gleaming subtly with suppressed emotion.
L could barely contain himself. Hefd heard of buko pie, but had only ever seen it available frozen, and he was quite selective about how his dessert came to him. He always preferred them freshly made.
“Well?” the brunette prompted again, smirking just slightest bit.
“Yes, please, Raito,” he replied with perfect manners, eyes wide and hopeful.
Raito turned away to make tea, but L suspected that it was, in fact, an attempt to conceal a genuine smile. Odd.
“We’re going to bed right after this, Ryuuzaki. I’m exhausted, and Misa didn’t help at all.”
“Have you seen the members of the task force?” he asked casually, wondering if Watari had executed their emergency plan yet. Not that it would help him personally at this point, but it would greatly inconvenience Raito.
Raito shot him a dry, quelling look from over his shoulder. gIndeed. They wonder where you are, but Ifve assured them that you disappeared without me. There have been no further challenges yet, but Ifm prepared for them.h
“Raito’s cute little innocent face can be so convincing,h he mused aloud, looking up at the ceiling as he rocked slightly on his footstool, knees drawn up to his chest.
“Oh? You think I’m cute?” Raito was smiling at him like Death.
L felt a jolt of pure panic lurch through him. gAhhcwell, youch his words trailed off, and he stared helplessly at the other boy, not knowing what to say to draw Raito off of the scent.
“Never mind, Ryuuzaki, you know I’m just teasing you,” Raito said in his best honeyed tone as he brought the tea and pie out.
L watched as the tray holding the tea and dessert was placed on the coffee table, words failing him completely. He was determined to avoid those eyes, as well. He didnft want to see their dark amber mocking him from beneath lashes more beautiful than any girlfs. It was humiliating.
Raito crouched behind him to free one of his hands from the cuffs, then knelt at the coffee table. gShall we?h
“But you’re not having any dessert,” L pointed out.
“Tea is all I want. Dessert is for you. You know that I don’t favor sweets the way you do.”
At last, he found the courage to glance at Raitofs eyes. They werenft mocking, merely amused. And oddly warm, which made L immediately wary.
“How did you enjoy your date with Misa?” he asked lightly.
Raito rolled his eyes as he took a sip of this tea. gOh, please, Ryuuzaki. You know that I canft stand her. I donft care what she says about marriage. I have no intention of marrying her, or even being with her.h
L stared down into his tea, a pang of some unidentifiable feeling falling through him. gRaito is fortunate to have people that care about him like that,h he murmured.
The brunette made a sound of amusement. gYou wouldnft know what to do with a girl that liked you. Trust me, itfs very annoying. And shefd want to touch you all the time, which you definitely wouldnft want any part of.h
He tried to imagine a girl liking him or touching him and he couldnft. Not at all. Raito had been the only person to touch him in any way. He didnft know how to deal with that, or even what a normal reaction would be to the closeness and the hot-cold treatment that the other boy subjected him to on a regular basis.
“You’re probably right,” he muttered, focusing on drinking his tea in order to escape the loneliness and shame that were growing within him by the minute.
Being around someone like Raito only exacerbated it. The brunette was everything that he was not, everything that he would secretly like to be, but couldnft be. What would it be like to be wanted the way Raito was wanted by practically everyone?
It had never really bothered him before. Not before taking on this case and being immersed in human contact. They had contaminated him with their need for affection and acceptance, and now he couldnft shake it.
L almost leapt out of his skin when he felt warm fingers brush his cheek. He looked up at Raito, startled.
Those eyes met his, almost concerned. gWhatfs wrong, Ryuuzaki? You look like youfre brooding over something.h
“It’s nothing,” he assured his captor, concealing how much Raito’s sudden touch had shaken him. How did the other boy always know when he was vulnerable?
“It has to be something serious to make you ignore pie,” Raito pressed, frowning slightly.
“Ah…” Dammit, he was being obvious again! L immediately picked up his plate and fork and began eating his pie. “This is delicious, Raito! Thank you so much.”
It truly was delicious. The pie wasnft the problem. Everything else was.
L worked determinedly at finishing his pie and tea, aware of Raitofs intense eyes resting on him periodically. Something was up. Something had to be. He knew the brunette too well not to suspect something strange afoot.
After he was done, Raito collected the dishes and took them to the sink, leaving them there. gCome, Ryuuzaki, letfs go to bed. Ifll give you your time in the bathroom first.h
The leaving of the dishes was highly unusual as well, especially since Raito was otherwise so meticulous and fastidious about everything. He was becoming concerned. gIs everything all right, Raito?h he asked tentatively. gIs there something youfre not telling me?h
“I have no reason to keep secrets from you,” the other boy replied smoothly as he knelt to release the handcuffs.
L rose automatically, obediently following Raito into the bedroom. It had only been a few days, but he was always annoyed with himself for complying with his captorfs wishes and being so obedient. True, it did earn him liberties, but still. His principles.
He went through his usual routine in the bathroom, noticing with surprise that the circles of exhaustion that were usually so present beneath his eyes had faded a great deal. Could it be that he actually slept better in this situation? Ridiculous. Impossible.
He opened the door and went to his bed, closely followed by Raito. The other cuffed him to the headboard, as usual, but left him with a lot less play in the chain, which was not usual. gRaito, I donft think that I can\g
“I’ll fix it in a moment, Ryuuzaki. Just let me get ready for bed.” Those eyes were slightly Kira-esque again.
L sighed and relaxed against the pillow as Raito vanished into the bathroom, having nothing else to do with his hands drawn up in such an uncomfortable fashion. He honestly wasnft certain what to make of the other boyfs peculiar behavior tonight. Even for Kira, it was slightly bizarre.
He was fairly relaxed when he heard the door open again. There was a long, pregnant pause, and it caused him to open his eyes, turning his head to examine Raito in the soft light of the bedside lamp. The brunette was just standing there staring, gaze fixed and glimmering like steel.
L felt the tension of anxiety constrict his throat. gWhat is it, Raito?h
Without answering him, his captor walked over to him slowly and stood beside the bed, just gazing down upon him.
L could barely breathe. He was rapidly becoming certain that he was suddenly expendable, and it caused a chill to course down his prone and helpless body. He didnft want to die. gRaito,h he whispered to those vaguely human eyes, gplease.h
The wicked, sinister smile that he loathed began to creep out, spreading over the other boyfs face and transforming it into Kirafs face.
I hate you like this, he thought vehemently, closing his eyes to shut it out.
He heard the click of the lamp being shut off, and darkness descended in the room. The soft sound of something being set on the bedside table was also audible. Raitofs weight on the bed startled him, however.
L opened his eyes, trying to see something. Anything. But there was only the dark silhouette of his captor looming over him.
“You’re mine now, aren’t you?” Kira’s voice slid through the darkness like a razor blade.
“Yours…?” he repeated uncertainly, wondering if Raito meant it in a triumphant way or a killing way. A sudden whiff of alcohol surprised him. “Were you drinking?h
“You tell me,” Raito whispered, lips suddenly descending on L’s and forcing them open.
He gasped in shock, twisting under Raitofs weight to no avail. His mind swam as that mouth consumed his hungrily, spreading him open too personally, too intimately. He was horrified and terrified by it, but something deep inside of him sang and thrilled to it, having known it was coming. Somehow, it had known.
Something inside of him was opening its arms to something inside of Raito, to Kira.
lFill me, fill me, fill this emptinessc
L tried to reject the thought and that dirty, disgusting part of him. RaitoKirafs hands rose to cup his face, caressing his jaw as their lips and tongues continued to move against each other.
He kicked futilely, but he was well-pinned. One of the hands left his face to creep under his shirt, stroking confidently over his stomach and hips. L writhed, his traitorous body fluttering, catching fire and wanting to strain into those divine hands. Hands that belonged to a beautiful monster, which only seemed to increase the heat raging to break through his skin.
Raito allowed him to turn his face away finally, and he panted with embarrassing reaction and vulnerability. He could feel those eyes devouring his naked face. gRacRaitocthis is sick and wrong, donft\g
An especially adventurous hand slid over one of his hips and slightly under the waistband of his boxers, making him cry out and buck. gWhat is it, L?h Raito asked in a slightly breathless voice. gDidnft you want this, want for someone to touch you?h
L made an inarticulate noise in the back of his throat, jerking his wrists against the handcuffs violently. The frustrated misery of this entire situation was lodged in his throat and wouldnft come out.
Raito leaned down. gWas I drinking?h those lips murmured against his.
He inhaled his captorfs breath, choking on the ravenous feeling inside of him. Was this desire? Was this what it felt like to want someone? Was it supposed to be so violent, twisting so viscerally like a knife in his stomach?
The brunettefs lips flirted with his, brushed over them again and again.
“Raito!” he gasped out, maddened and lost.
“If this is sick, then I want to be as sick as possible with you,” Raito breathed darkly into his mouth before delivering another slightly bruising, open-mouthed kiss.
L felt previously unknown depths opening up within him, and the pressure was crushing him, leaving him feeling desperate and panicked. He felt the other boyfs hand suddenly slip much lower and wrap around his aching desire, which he had been trying to ignore until that moment.
Raito stroked him teasingly, not permitting him to get into a rhythm. He twisted and arched helplessly, uncertain if he was trying to get away or if he was just asking for more.
Suddenly, the hands and lips withdrew, leaving him struggling for breath and burning up. gRaito?h he whispered into the darkness, feeling deprived.
“You were thinking that you wanted me to stop, weren’t you? You seem so frightened, L.h The voice was taunting, yet full and caressing. There were promises in it. Threats.
L swallowed anxiously, trying to ignore his throbbing body and the feeling of closeness that had swamped him when he was being kissed and touched by Raito. Kira. His enemy. His friend.
“That’s right, Raito,” he asserted in a slightly tremulous voice. “I don’t like this sort of thing, even if you might go in for--”
Raito suddenly leaned in again. gThen why are you so aroused, L? Tell me that, because I was holding you in my hand, so Ifm well aware of how you felt about it.h
L flinched into the pillow in shame, silent. He didnft want to react that way to this beautiful, monstrous and maddening person that taunted him and mocked him. He closed his eyes against the desire of his body, trying to will it away. But it seemed that once his body had realized its desire, it refused to back down. Just as Raito had said, he was painfully aroused.
“I know what you want, L,” Raito murmured, hand returning to stroke his side lightly. “Why don’t you tell me? I can see it in the way you look at me. Even before you knew, I knew you wanted this.”
L thought that sounded like an utter lie, but he knew better than to disturb the flow of Raitofs con act when it was in action.
“Tell me,h Raito growled, hand coasting down Lfs body to grip him almost painfully.
He strangled his cry of pleasure, trying to retain at least a shred of his dignity. He couldnft stand being so helpless during something like this, and with Raito, no less. But it was also sickly appealing to him, and he hated that even more. This way, he had an excuse to give in to his captor.
“There’s nothing to tell,” he managed to force out, challenged by the effort it took to string coherent words together when Raito was touching him so intimately.
Raito unbuttoned, unzipped and wrestled Lfs jeans off, then divested him of his boxers. L thought of struggling, but all he could do was lie there as if in shock as he was methodically stripped. Raito then spread Lfs legs apart forcefully, easing down to lie between them. Their noses touched briefly as the brunette came in for another punishing, soul-tainting kiss.
The feeling of Raitofs slacks sliding over his arousal made him whimper and writhe, and he would have bitten his lip except his mouth was no longer his own. Those hips moved demandingly against his as his captorfs tongue stroked his, plunging into the soft flesh of his mouth.
L had never felt so exposed and overwhelmed in his life. In fact, nothing he had ever experienced even came close to this. It made him want to run away as fast as he could, but also birthed a fierce desire to hold onto Raito as if there were no tomorrow, to dig in until he drew blood.
It was pathetic that simple sexual contact could make him feel this way. This person is truly amazing, L thought wryly.
Raito pulled back slightly, separating their mouths, and began to stroke Lfs desperate flesh with his hand again. gCome on, give it to me,h the brunette crooned sweetly to him, fingers working his body expertly.
Just hearing something so scandalous from Raitofs lips made him want to comply. gWhy are youcdoing this?h L panted hoarsely.
“Kira likes you,h Raito said softly into his ear, running his tongue lightly over the lobe.
He felt his heart skip a beat before it accelerated even more. The blood was rushing in his ears, and there was an unbearable gathering low in his groin, a feeling that was spreading into his stomach and drawing his entire being in.
“And you said you didn’t want Kira,” Raito murmured as L’s body went into overdrive.
He barely heard the words, so preoccupied was he with what was happening within him, not to mention the maddening stroking of that capable, clever hand. He lost himself within it, but faintly heard the sound of low laughter in his ears as he found release, spending himself in Kirafs service.
“Giving in to me isn’t so bad, is it?” Raito whispered against L’s heated cheek, brushing a light kiss over it in passing. Again came a click from the bedside table.
The other boy suddenly rose and went to the bathroom, leaving L to listen to the sound of running water and to contemplate the horror that had just occurred. He was mortally ashamed of himself, and disgusted. He found that he wanted very much to bathe and pretend that he had never allowed Kira to touch him that way.
L consoled himself with the fact that he was handcuffed and had not been able to get away. Any healthy young man would enjoy being stimulated in that way, even if it were by someone they despised or werenft attracted to. Any young man. In fact, he had probably held out much better than most people would have. Raito was very beautiful and skilled, despite being a mass-murderer and male.
Anyone would have reacted the way he just had. Anyone.
~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~ *~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*
Raito groaned into his washcloth as he stroked himself in the shower, unable to stand it any longer. Ryuuzaki, Ryuuzaki, Ryuuzakic
He had never seen anything more desirable than his half-naked and helpless captive, gazing up at him with those vulnerable eyes, with desire and need. It had been so difficult to restrain himself, to keep from going all the way right then. He had wanted to so badly. So badly. To just lose himself in Lfs body, to spread him wide open and drive his need into him over and over, to make the detective scream and cry. Oh, god, he wanted it more than anything.
Even more than a pure world. Utter blasphemy for anyone aspiring to be a god.
And the noises the detective had made for him. GOD. He had almost lost it half a dozen times listening to those arousing, sensual noises as he touched that pale body. Raito closed his eyes tightly, clenching his teeth and breathing hard as his orgasm snapped through him with surprising savagery.
He shuddered violently against the bathroom wall, riding it out as he curled in on himself. He had never wanted anyone this badly. Never. How had he not seen it for what it was, that desire to imprison, control and manipulate the detective? The desire to keep L alive, no matter how dangerous it was.
Would he ruin his plans with this insane lust? This demented lust that climbed up his spine with steel hooks and took over his supposedly brilliant mind with the overriding need to bring his flesh into contact with Ryuuzakifs in the most intimate ways possible.
Raito straightened and rinsed himself off. He still had to clean L up.
And he knew that L would not ever suspect that he had told the truth when he said he liked him. Obviously he must, otherwise he would not have been the victim of this wild lust.
No more alcohol.
But at least he now had a way out of the Watari issue.
~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~ *
L stared sullenly at the TV screen, but only half of his attention was on the news at the moment. Raito’s behavior was occupying the other half of his mind.
What was going on? Raito had always had those teasing moments, but what he had been subjected to in the bathroom had no precedent. He had never been flirted with before, so he couldn’t even say for certain that Raito had been flirting with him. But his embarrassment and Raito’s subsequent smugness were simply too conveniently matched.
It had been deliberate. But why would Raito go to such lengths to embarrass him? Was it because of how he had flinched last night? If this was the other boy’s new way to torment him, it was working splendidly. He must not give his captor any more ammunition. He must not react! His will was stronger than this.
L brought his free hand to his lips, gnawing determinedly at the side of his thumb. Damn Kira for analyzing him and observing him. Damn him for kicking a hole in the profile that L had meticulously constructed from observation, evidence and what had been inevitable conclusions. And damn Kira for being so beautiful.
Not just beautiful. Alluring. Charming. Persuasive. Brilliant. Humorous.
He winced as he bit down on his thumb too hard, but continued to chew and stare fixedly at the TV screen, no longer seeing it. Anxiety scrabbled in the pit of his stomach.
Why did he react to Raito at all? He’d never found anyone attractive before. When had he begun to think that those features were beautiful? When had he begun to pay attention to the changing colors of those eyes, the myriad expressions that flickered across that face, so subtle and swift that no one else but L saw them?
Was he so weak that he became vulnerable to the first person to treat him like a human being and not another resource, or an extraordinary mind without any emotions whatsoever?
Raito had always looked directly into his eyes - directly into him, it seemed. It was extremely disturbing that the only person that had ever truly known him was a sociopath and a mass-murderer. And it was even more worrisome that said sociopath was the only person that he enjoyed bantering with and sharing tea with, the only person that he could relate to.
But in actuality, he and Kira were nothing alike. It was only Raito that he related to. But there was no separating one from the other any longer.
L suddenly tasted the metallic tang of blood in his mouth and withdrew his thumb, surprised. He had bitten down too firmly and hadn’t even realized. That was the alarming affect that Raito, and even thinking about Raito, had on him. It had to stop. It had to.
How long would he be forced to look at that face, finally unmasked? Raito was a murderer. Raito was cruel. Raito was cold.
But also endearing. There, the error in his assessment. How could someone like Raito be considered endearing?
He watched the blood ooze slowly from the small cut on his thumb, hypnotized.
It was imperative that he have this sorted out in his mind by the time Raito returned. Essential.
~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~ *
“Thank you, I’ll just be a few minutes,” Raito assured the bank employee. He entered the indicated private room and sat down, opening his safe deposit box.
Contained within it were L’s cell phone, his own, false identification, both Death Notes and miscellaneous odds and ends that he didn’t want accessible to just anyone.
He drew his cell phone out and checked his messages, lips compressing with displeasure as he listened to Misa’s whining voice. She wanted to see him. As usual. The only reason he continued to communicate with her was to allay further suspicions and to keep Rem from deciding to kill him out of hand.
He must not let Misa know that L was with him, nor that he had any interest in keeping the detective alive. It would give her – or more accurately, Rem – something with which to control him and blackmail him.
Not that he cared about L very much at all, but he had gone through a great deal of effort to preserve the other boy. Only he would say when L was to die.
Could he set up a situation in which Rem would be forced to kill someone else to protect Misa? That would be effective in removing the shinigami from his path. Yes, perhaps he ought to look into arranging such a situation.
Raito smiled to himself as he deleted Misa’s message. Checking his watch, he confirmed that she should be in the middle of a photo shoot. He called her home phone and quietly crooned plausible excuses about why he couldn’t see her just yet - the task force, suspicion, et cetera.
The part about the task force was true, however. That would be his next stop. It shouldn’t be too difficult to convince them that he was innocent of involvement with L’s disappearance, however. No one had seen the two of them leave together last night. As far as they knew, L had remained at headquarters when he himself had left for the evening. That would be his story.
The other reason he couldn’t see Misa at the moment was that it would simply take too long. He didn’t want to leave L to his own devices for that long, and not just because he feared the detective might somehow find a means of escaping. He also did not want to be burdened with an angry L, and his teasing this morning had apparently gone too far for his companion’s comfort.
Amusing, and most fascinating. Of all people, he would never have suspected L as being one to have a weakness to charm and physical contact. Now that he knew, he would hammer that vulnerability relentlessly. He had initially been troubled as to how to control the detective without knowing any of his weaknesses, but that was now a moot concern.
He considered L’s entertaining reactions as he listened to the second message. It was his mother asking if he would like to have dinner with the family on Friday – tomorrow evening.
Raito quickly returned the call and left a message confirming that he would love to, then turned his cell off and returned it to the metal box. He lightly stroked his fingers over L’s silver flip-phone, smirking to himself as he thought of the ‘L’ wallpaper on the phone. You’re actually quite as vain as I am, he thought with something akin to satisfaction.
His own black phone was rather minimalist compared to L’s, which had all sorts of functionality, but their phones were actually very similar in appearance. This also pleased him for no reason that he could articulate.
He picked up L’s phone and opened it, noting that the detective had several messages, as well. As he listened to the messages, he frowned. They were all from Watari, asking why L had missed his usual rendezvous with the older man, and in the last message a reference was made to some plan that the two of them had arranged in the event of L’s death. Watari was saying that he would active said plan if he did not hear from L soon.
Dammit. He hadn’t wanted to be troubled with disposing of Watari, but what else could he do? He would have to figure out a way. Raito closed the phone and replaced it back in the box, disgruntled.
L, why are you so damned annoying?
He closed the box again and stepped out of the room, signaling that he was done. The young woman that had assisted him initially ran right over, beaming up into his face with near-adoration.
“Are you finished, sir?” she asked breathlessly.
He smiled back. “Yes, thank you. You’ve been most helpful,” he scanned her name tag surreptitiously, “Otsuma-san.”
She fluttered at him a moment more before he managed to extricate himself. As he stepped out of the bank, his strides lengthened and the smile on his face disappeared as if it had never been.
Now it was time to confront the members of the task force and make excuses about why he wouldn’t be able to spend much time there today. Perhaps something about being tired, and wanting to work on the Kira case at home on his own for the evening. Yes, perhaps that would work. He knew they would be somewhat suspicious of him due to L’s annoying habit of broadcasting the percentage of likelihood that Raito was Kira to everyone in the vicinity.
Now…now he had the freedom to smack that clever mouth if it said something that he disliked. He would prefer not to resort to doing such things, as leaving L untended was apparently a more effective punishment, but…it thrilled him that the option was open to him. Any option was open to him. He loved having complete control over the detective’s life. There was no other feeling as beautiful, nothing else that could give him such a high.
He was in a splendid mood. Perhaps he would pick up a treat for his sullen captive on his way ‘home’ from headquarters – and after he checked up on his real apartment and made it look a little lived in by cooking something to leave in the refrigerator and throwing some clothes in the hamper, et cetera. Ah yes, and he mustn’t forget to water the plants.
Sooner or later, the task force would want to investigate his apartment when L did not return. He would be ready for them.
~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~ *~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*
L was startled into full wakefulness when the front door suddenly opened. Without realizing it, he had begun to fall asleep with his back against the pole for support. A good thing he hadn’t been left to sleep like that – he would have been rather displeased if he had fallen off of the footrest and wrenched his arm or worse.
He heard the refrigerator door open and close, and then the sound of Raito’s footsteps coming back towards him.
Raito stopped and stood motionless in the foyer, just looking at him. The shadows covered most of the other boy’s face where he stood, making pools of darkness in the hollows of his eyes.
“Raito?” he asked tentatively. “What time is it?”
“Six or so,” the shadowy figure replied tonelessly, still not moving.
“I have to use the restroom, Raito,” he said pointedly.
“Of course you do, Ryuuzaki. Did you miss me?”
L blinked several times, squinting in surprise at Raito. “Er…no? It was only a few hours. But it was very boring here.” He had missed Raito a bit, but he wasn’t going to say such a stupid thing.
“Oh? Perhaps I should leave for a while.” Raito’s tone was slightly playful, but also had a slight edge to it.
Great, antagonize the sociopath as soon as he comes home. Mind clearing, L tried again. “Well, perhaps I did miss you…a little,” he admitted grudgingly. Nauseating. He would have vengeance on Raito for this one day.
Raito finally stepped into the light, wearing his usual mysterious smile. “Ahh, I suspected as much. Why do you attempt to hide your feelings from your friends, Ryuuzaki? Honestly, I don’t understand you at all.” The sly smile creeping over Raito’s face said otherwise, however.
Glad you’re so pleased, Raito-kun, he thought in irritation. It vexed him even more that he didn’t even dare to say it aloud.
He watched as Raito walked over to him, thinking it unfair that the other boy was so graceful – dancing in slow motion, every movement a perfect coordination of long, shapely limbs. He suppressed the urge to bite his thumb again. This way of thinking was getting him nowhere.
“What’s wrong? You seem…disturbed.” Raito’s amber eyes were concerned, sympathetic.
He wasn’t falling for it. The predator sensed weakness – that was all. “I’m fine, Raito, just bored out of my mind. If we weren’t such close friends, I’d say that you were trying to torture me.” He kept his tone light and benign.
“You’re angry with me,” Raito stated flatly, glancing at the TV screen. “Nothing that I do makes you happy, Ryuuzaki. Nothing. The only thing I could do to please you would be to become Kira for you.”
What?? He frowned up at his captor, noting the tenseness that lined the other boy’s body. But he was more concerned with the words that were coming out of left field. Was that truly what Raito thought and felt? Ridiculous! He could deal with the logical RaitoKira, but not the emotional one. And he knew better than to point out to Raito that there was an emotional RaitoKira, because his ‘friend’ seemed largely unaware of that fact.
“We’ve been over this. You know that I would rather you not be Kira, Raito-kun—“
“No ‘kun’!” Raito raged, suddenly whipping around to slap him in the face.
The shock of it knocked him off balance and he ended up sprawled on the floor, his arm wrenched. The pain that seeped into the muscles of his shoulder and back told him that he had strained them a little. He gritted his teeth, suddenly angry.
“Ryuuzaki!” Raito exclaimed in concern, moving to his side with alacrity.
As soon as Raito was within range, L kicked him in the side. This was apparently the wrong thing to do.
Raito immediately seized the offending limb in an iron grip and cuffed L in the head yet again, but more seriously this time. “Don’t.fucking.kick.me,” Kira growled in a menacing and deadly voice.
L froze, despite the fact that his ringing ears only made him more furious with Raito. He did not, however, want to have a physical fight with his captor when he only had one hand to use and no range of movement. He was horrified to hear himself make a slight choking sound as his own helplessness overwhelmed him.
Raito drew closer to his face, amber eyes as pale as he had ever seen them. “Look what you made me do,” the brunette whispered chidingly, lightly touching L’s bleeding lip.
L flinched, unable to keep from stealing glances up at that face, but he had nowhere to go. Get away, get away, get away…don’t touch!
Those eyes closed slowly, and as if in a dream, Kira leaned in and delicately licked at his bleeding lip.
His heart stopped. Stopped and froze before suddenly speeding up wildly. He wanted to escape, needed to run away from this insane boy, but he was trapped. TRAPPED, and utterly deprived of his precious freedom.
“What you always make me do…” Kira repeated huskily, licking L’s lip more boldly. Sensually.
L shuddered and closed his eyes. He couldn’t help it. He wasn’t sure what to do in such a situation. He had studied and observed just about everything else that was relevant to his existence and the necessary interactions with others, but he had never thought that he would be in this position. It wasn’t even a kiss. As far as he could tell, Raito was intent upon his blood. Which only made things worse. He could have clearly rejected a kiss. He had no idea what to do with someone licking his bloody lip - the lip they had cut.
His entire body was shaking. He was ashamed, and terrified, and ashamed of being terrified. He was angry and disturbed, unsettled and confused as to what to do. And he was disgusted, disgusted by the thrill chasing up his spine and radiating through his stomach.
L became aware of someone murmuring. He realized with a start that it was himself, murmuring, “Stopitstopitstopit,” in a hoarse litany.
The insistent lapping at his lip continued for a moment more before ceasing altogether, and he tried to focus on Raito’s hand where it lay against the side of his face, fingers slightly twisted in his hair.
“Do I frighten you so much, Ryuuzaki? Just cleaning the blood from your lip? I apologize for hitting you. You know I didn’t mean it.” Raito’s tone was faux-tender and cajoling, trying to bring him back to reality so that he could appreciate his torture.
He opened his eyes warily, just a bit freaked out by the smear of blood evident on Raito’s full, sensual lips. “That…was unsanitary,” he choked out, attempting to enforce some normalcy.
Raito’s eyes had returned to their usual color, and his expression was contrite. “You shouldn’t have kicked me, Ryuuzaki. You know that I have a temper.”
“You shouldn’t have slapped me,” he shot back.
“You shouldn’t have disobeyed me, Ryuuzaki,” Raito growled. “That was what began this.”
“It was an accident!” he exploded, pushed beyond his limit. “Calling you with an honorific is a habit!”
“I apologized already,” Raito murmured, leaning in again as if he intended to lick at L’s lip once more.
He blocked the attempt with an arm across his captor’s collarbones. “It’s fine,” he said pointedly.
“But you’re bleeding again,” Raito insisted, expression focused and determined.
“Raito! It’s—“ His arm was suddenly forced back by his captured wrist, and the heat of the other boy’s mouth was back, gently sucking at his wounded lip.
He wasn’t one for cursing, but…what.the.fuck!
“Raito!” he barked out, trying to turn his head away. “This is completely unnecessary, and you’re invading my personal space to an absurd extent. Stop it, or I’ll be forced to kick you again.”
“But this is what friends do, and you’re my closest friend. And my only.”
“Raito, I have to ask where you picked up this insane notion of friendship. Bondage, beating and lip licking are not really friendship activities.”
“And how should you know, Ryuuzaki?” Raito taunted softly, drawing back to look into his eyes from a minimal distance.
“I am familiar with common culture and typical human interactions and their range of behaviors during said interactions,” he explained. “Can you please get off of me now? I despise close contact with people, Raito. You know that. If we are friends, you must respect my personal space.”
“If we are friends, you shouldn’t mind being close to me, Ryuuzaki. Perhaps you’re playing me false, and all you’ve ever cared about is your notion that I might be Kira.” Those eyes were beginning to resemble Kira’s again.
“Please, I’m exhausted. And I have to use the restroom. Please allow me to do so, and then I’d like to request that we go to bed.” And I’d like to kick you in the head.
L was subjected to watching Raito’s pupils pin in response. He really didn’t want to know why any of what he had just said should elicit such a response from his captor. But he was about to discard the profile that he had put together so painstakingly. It had once been accurate, but at this point, it seemed that almost everything they had known about Kira was now useless.
“Very well, Ryuuzaki. Is your arm all right?”
“It hurts a bit, but I’m certain that the damage is not permanent. It doesn’t require any attention, although I’d prefer not to have it be the arm that is handcuffed tonight.”
“Of course. You know that I’d do anything for you.” Raito was smiling.
L shot a searching glance at the other boy to gauge the tenor of that smile. There was no way that Raito meant that seriously. It was simply too obnoxious, especially after what had just happened. It was another taunt.
“Yes, I’m sure,” he muttered as he collected himself and sat up. “I couldn’t ask for a better friend.”
“I’m glad that we’re in agreement on that,” his captor replied smoothly, freeing L’s handcuffed hand and helping him up.
L wisely kept his retort to himself.
Raito waited patiently until he was certain that L was asleep before slipping quietly out of bed. He moved with silent stealth to the detective’s bedside and stared down at the vague form for a moment before leaning down to bring his lips near L’s ear.
“I’m Kira,” he whispered sweetly into that ear, lips brushing its curve lightly as he spoke.
Immediately he was back in his bed as if he had never left it, lying motionless and listening.
L awoke with a gasp, actually sitting up in bed. Aside from frantic breathing, there was silence for a very long moment before the detective said, “Raito?” in a thready voice.
He played dead, watching his captive’s darker shape against the general darkness of the room with half-closed eyes. He didn’t want the gleam of his eyes to give him away. There was precious little ambient light leaking into the room. Only the soft light that he left on in the foyer bled its way in under the door. It was just enough.
“Raito,” L whispered to himself, somehow conveying fear through the susurration.
Raito felt a smile take over his face – the sort of smile that displeased L the most. He had never enjoyed himself so much in his entire life. Why hadn’t he done this before?
L was easy to play, but despite that, so very entertaining to play with. None of his other toys or distractions had ever pleased him like this or filled him with such wondrous glee. This annoying detective was the best thing that had ever happened to him – in disguise.
The other boy had settled back to lie down again. Raito sensed more than saw that L was watching him in the darkness.
That’s better, L. Focus all of your mind upon me. No distractions! You need to be paying attention when I’m stalking you. That’s how you played into my hands in the first place – by allowing yourself to be distracted by lesser things.
But it was too late for L now. He had already fallen into Raito’s hands. He would not permit the detective to escape him, not ever.
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Raito resisted the urge to prop his head on his hand as he pretended to focus on Misa. He was actually keeping an eye on Rem while the model chattered on.
“We should make wedding plans, Raito—“ Misa began, insipid eyes full of hope.
“Kun,h he interjected firmly. gRaito-kun. Wefre not married just yet, Misa, and you mustnft assume that Ifll be able to make plans right now. Ifm very busy and I donft have time for that sort of thing.h
She pouted at him, winding a finger in one of the blond locks falling over her shoulders. gBut wefre in love, Raito-kun! And why canft I just call you Raito?h
He had fond thoughts of L. If only he were spending this time with the other boy instead of being tormented by Misa.
“Because it isn’t proper, Misa! Think of your reputation – and mine. You know how I feel about propriety.”
She frowned thoughtfully, seemingly tripped up by considering the notion.
He could feel Remfs ugly gaze boring into his temple.
“You still haven’t gotten the chance to kill that detective, have you?” Misa asked in a rare moment of solemnity.
“Don’t say things like that here,” he hissed, glancing around the restaurant surreptitiously as he sipped his third glass of scotch. “Besides, it won’t matter once this world belongs to Kira.”
Raito resisted the urge to sneer at them both. As if he would kill L now after so carefully preserving him.
“Aren’t you being overly confident?” Rem asked coolly.
“Not at all,” he assured the shinigami. “L is easy enough to distract.”
Internally, he was seething. He loathed being questioned about his ability to fulfill his goals. And he found it intolerable when others tried to influence his actions and choices.
He found his gaze wandering to track a tall, slender boy across the restaurant. The boyfs posture was slightly sloppy, just like Lfs, and the dark hair was vaguely reminiscent.
Raito pressed the glass of scotch harder to his lips, recalling the wild, frightened look the detective had worn when trapped beneath him. Those large, dark eyes were quite striking, especially when the sleepless shadows beneath them had faded.
That beautiful, delectable fear, the bleeding lip trembling beneath his stroking tonguec
Raito set his glass down determinedly, dragging his gaze back to the very blond Misa with considerable effort. gIfm very tired, Misa. I know itfs unfair, but Ifm going to have to cut this short.h
“Will you at least think about where you’d want to have our wedding, Raito-kun?” she entreated, gazing up at him with wide eyes that did nothing at all for him.
“Yes, I’ll give it careful thought.” He casually laid money on the table and picked up his coat, shrugging into it.
He smiled once more at Misa and Rem before walking with determined steadiness down the aisle towards the door. As he walked, he scanned the room again for the boy he had seen earlier, then smirked to himself.
It didnft matter. The person the boy resembled was helpless to do anything but wait on his pleasure. His pleasurec Raito lifted his hand and pressed the back of his fingers to his lips unconsciously, strolling out into the night.
He should probably give L the pie. With the awkward events of last night, he had never had a chance to mention it. Perhaps theyfd have tea when he got home, and the detective could have his treat. The domesticity of it pleased him in a way having girlfriends and being with his family never had.
But there was still the irksome matter of preventing Watari from executing whatever contingency plan that he and L had concocted. After thinking fruitlessly for a moment as he walked, he shrugged. His mind had a way of working things out on its own. It was one of the reasons he always carried a voice recorder with him.
No matter how he tried, he couldnft stop thinking about the detectivefs delightful reactions to him. Fear, vulnerability, disturbance. All of the things he craved and had always wanted to see breaking the surface of that reserved and unflappable exterior. Now that he had his wish, he was addicted. He couldnft stop trying to provoke those reactions.
It was even more intolerable to waste his time with Misa and the task force when he knew he could be tormenting L in new and exciting ways. Without limits, without boundaries. That was what he loved the most - violating Lfs boundaries and pushing him beyond his limits.
Shake for me. Break underneath me. Cry, and cry for mercy.
Raito smiled to himself, but he felt slightly restless. Somewhat anxious and displeased. There was a growing hunger for something within him, and he had no idea what to do about it.
The streets were quiet and deserted in the falling dusk, with only one or two people walking by on the other side on his way to ehisf neighborhood.
Pushing L too far would ruin his enjoyment, he was certain. It might even stir a pang of guilt or two from the dust at the bottom of his nonexistent conscience.
So perhaps break was too strong a word. He merely wanted to fracture the other boy. That was all. Just crack L open a bit to see the hot, melting inside.
He was certain that it would be well worth it. Most people lived on the surface, but both he and L concealed their true selves deep within. L had seen some of his true face, but he had yet to see Lfs. He planned to change that very soon.
As he turned down the street to the apartment he kept L in, he felt his mood lift slightly.
Raito licked his lips, as they were still tingling from the three glasses of scotch that hefd had. He didnft often drink, but he felt that this evening had certainly merited some alcohol to numb the tedium. He couldnft keep up the charade with Misa for much longer. It was taking up too much of his time and energy.
He found his feet ascending the stairs to the apartment, and his heart leapt within his chest in an unsettling fashion. What was going on with his mood tonight? Perhaps he ought to make a point of avoiding the alcohol.
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At the sound of the door, L looked up slowly from the tedious book that Raito had allowed him for this latest abandonment, registering that the brunette had entered the apartment and turned into the kitchen. Raito was currently rummaging in the refrigerator.
“Raito, this book is awful. I would ordinarily never say this, but this book deserves to be burned. I certainly hope you brought me something home from your date to make up for this drivel.”
Raito turned to face him over the bar, setting something on the counter. gActually, Ryuuzaki, I bought you a treat yesterday, but wasnft able to give it to you then. Your behavior has been considerably better today, so I thought we might have some tea together while you had your dessert.h
“You brought me sugar?” he exclaimed, leaning forward in excitement.
“I did, and they only have this particular pie available a couple times a year. Fresh buko pie. Do you want it?” Raito’s eyes were gleaming subtly with suppressed emotion.
L could barely contain himself. Hefd heard of buko pie, but had only ever seen it available frozen, and he was quite selective about how his dessert came to him. He always preferred them freshly made.
“Well?” the brunette prompted again, smirking just slightest bit.
“Yes, please, Raito,” he replied with perfect manners, eyes wide and hopeful.
Raito turned away to make tea, but L suspected that it was, in fact, an attempt to conceal a genuine smile. Odd.
“We’re going to bed right after this, Ryuuzaki. I’m exhausted, and Misa didn’t help at all.”
“Have you seen the members of the task force?” he asked casually, wondering if Watari had executed their emergency plan yet. Not that it would help him personally at this point, but it would greatly inconvenience Raito.
Raito shot him a dry, quelling look from over his shoulder. gIndeed. They wonder where you are, but Ifve assured them that you disappeared without me. There have been no further challenges yet, but Ifm prepared for them.h
“Raito’s cute little innocent face can be so convincing,h he mused aloud, looking up at the ceiling as he rocked slightly on his footstool, knees drawn up to his chest.
“Oh? You think I’m cute?” Raito was smiling at him like Death.
L felt a jolt of pure panic lurch through him. gAhhcwell, youch his words trailed off, and he stared helplessly at the other boy, not knowing what to say to draw Raito off of the scent.
“Never mind, Ryuuzaki, you know I’m just teasing you,” Raito said in his best honeyed tone as he brought the tea and pie out.
L watched as the tray holding the tea and dessert was placed on the coffee table, words failing him completely. He was determined to avoid those eyes, as well. He didnft want to see their dark amber mocking him from beneath lashes more beautiful than any girlfs. It was humiliating.
Raito crouched behind him to free one of his hands from the cuffs, then knelt at the coffee table. gShall we?h
“But you’re not having any dessert,” L pointed out.
“Tea is all I want. Dessert is for you. You know that I don’t favor sweets the way you do.”
At last, he found the courage to glance at Raitofs eyes. They werenft mocking, merely amused. And oddly warm, which made L immediately wary.
“How did you enjoy your date with Misa?” he asked lightly.
Raito rolled his eyes as he took a sip of this tea. gOh, please, Ryuuzaki. You know that I canft stand her. I donft care what she says about marriage. I have no intention of marrying her, or even being with her.h
L stared down into his tea, a pang of some unidentifiable feeling falling through him. gRaito is fortunate to have people that care about him like that,h he murmured.
The brunette made a sound of amusement. gYou wouldnft know what to do with a girl that liked you. Trust me, itfs very annoying. And shefd want to touch you all the time, which you definitely wouldnft want any part of.h
He tried to imagine a girl liking him or touching him and he couldnft. Not at all. Raito had been the only person to touch him in any way. He didnft know how to deal with that, or even what a normal reaction would be to the closeness and the hot-cold treatment that the other boy subjected him to on a regular basis.
“You’re probably right,” he muttered, focusing on drinking his tea in order to escape the loneliness and shame that were growing within him by the minute.
Being around someone like Raito only exacerbated it. The brunette was everything that he was not, everything that he would secretly like to be, but couldnft be. What would it be like to be wanted the way Raito was wanted by practically everyone?
It had never really bothered him before. Not before taking on this case and being immersed in human contact. They had contaminated him with their need for affection and acceptance, and now he couldnft shake it.
L almost leapt out of his skin when he felt warm fingers brush his cheek. He looked up at Raito, startled.
Those eyes met his, almost concerned. gWhatfs wrong, Ryuuzaki? You look like youfre brooding over something.h
“It’s nothing,” he assured his captor, concealing how much Raito’s sudden touch had shaken him. How did the other boy always know when he was vulnerable?
“It has to be something serious to make you ignore pie,” Raito pressed, frowning slightly.
“Ah…” Dammit, he was being obvious again! L immediately picked up his plate and fork and began eating his pie. “This is delicious, Raito! Thank you so much.”
It truly was delicious. The pie wasnft the problem. Everything else was.
L worked determinedly at finishing his pie and tea, aware of Raitofs intense eyes resting on him periodically. Something was up. Something had to be. He knew the brunette too well not to suspect something strange afoot.
After he was done, Raito collected the dishes and took them to the sink, leaving them there. gCome, Ryuuzaki, letfs go to bed. Ifll give you your time in the bathroom first.h
The leaving of the dishes was highly unusual as well, especially since Raito was otherwise so meticulous and fastidious about everything. He was becoming concerned. gIs everything all right, Raito?h he asked tentatively. gIs there something youfre not telling me?h
“I have no reason to keep secrets from you,” the other boy replied smoothly as he knelt to release the handcuffs.
L rose automatically, obediently following Raito into the bedroom. It had only been a few days, but he was always annoyed with himself for complying with his captorfs wishes and being so obedient. True, it did earn him liberties, but still. His principles.
He went through his usual routine in the bathroom, noticing with surprise that the circles of exhaustion that were usually so present beneath his eyes had faded a great deal. Could it be that he actually slept better in this situation? Ridiculous. Impossible.
He opened the door and went to his bed, closely followed by Raito. The other cuffed him to the headboard, as usual, but left him with a lot less play in the chain, which was not usual. gRaito, I donft think that I can\g
“I’ll fix it in a moment, Ryuuzaki. Just let me get ready for bed.” Those eyes were slightly Kira-esque again.
L sighed and relaxed against the pillow as Raito vanished into the bathroom, having nothing else to do with his hands drawn up in such an uncomfortable fashion. He honestly wasnft certain what to make of the other boyfs peculiar behavior tonight. Even for Kira, it was slightly bizarre.
He was fairly relaxed when he heard the door open again. There was a long, pregnant pause, and it caused him to open his eyes, turning his head to examine Raito in the soft light of the bedside lamp. The brunette was just standing there staring, gaze fixed and glimmering like steel.
L felt the tension of anxiety constrict his throat. gWhat is it, Raito?h
Without answering him, his captor walked over to him slowly and stood beside the bed, just gazing down upon him.
L could barely breathe. He was rapidly becoming certain that he was suddenly expendable, and it caused a chill to course down his prone and helpless body. He didnft want to die. gRaito,h he whispered to those vaguely human eyes, gplease.h
The wicked, sinister smile that he loathed began to creep out, spreading over the other boyfs face and transforming it into Kirafs face.
I hate you like this, he thought vehemently, closing his eyes to shut it out.
He heard the click of the lamp being shut off, and darkness descended in the room. The soft sound of something being set on the bedside table was also audible. Raitofs weight on the bed startled him, however.
L opened his eyes, trying to see something. Anything. But there was only the dark silhouette of his captor looming over him.
“You’re mine now, aren’t you?” Kira’s voice slid through the darkness like a razor blade.
“Yours…?” he repeated uncertainly, wondering if Raito meant it in a triumphant way or a killing way. A sudden whiff of alcohol surprised him. “Were you drinking?h
“You tell me,” Raito whispered, lips suddenly descending on L’s and forcing them open.
He gasped in shock, twisting under Raitofs weight to no avail. His mind swam as that mouth consumed his hungrily, spreading him open too personally, too intimately. He was horrified and terrified by it, but something deep inside of him sang and thrilled to it, having known it was coming. Somehow, it had known.
Something inside of him was opening its arms to something inside of Raito, to Kira.
lFill me, fill me, fill this emptinessc
L tried to reject the thought and that dirty, disgusting part of him. RaitoKirafs hands rose to cup his face, caressing his jaw as their lips and tongues continued to move against each other.
He kicked futilely, but he was well-pinned. One of the hands left his face to creep under his shirt, stroking confidently over his stomach and hips. L writhed, his traitorous body fluttering, catching fire and wanting to strain into those divine hands. Hands that belonged to a beautiful monster, which only seemed to increase the heat raging to break through his skin.
Raito allowed him to turn his face away finally, and he panted with embarrassing reaction and vulnerability. He could feel those eyes devouring his naked face. gRacRaitocthis is sick and wrong, donft\g
An especially adventurous hand slid over one of his hips and slightly under the waistband of his boxers, making him cry out and buck. gWhat is it, L?h Raito asked in a slightly breathless voice. gDidnft you want this, want for someone to touch you?h
L made an inarticulate noise in the back of his throat, jerking his wrists against the handcuffs violently. The frustrated misery of this entire situation was lodged in his throat and wouldnft come out.
Raito leaned down. gWas I drinking?h those lips murmured against his.
He inhaled his captorfs breath, choking on the ravenous feeling inside of him. Was this desire? Was this what it felt like to want someone? Was it supposed to be so violent, twisting so viscerally like a knife in his stomach?
The brunettefs lips flirted with his, brushed over them again and again.
“Raito!” he gasped out, maddened and lost.
“If this is sick, then I want to be as sick as possible with you,” Raito breathed darkly into his mouth before delivering another slightly bruising, open-mouthed kiss.
L felt previously unknown depths opening up within him, and the pressure was crushing him, leaving him feeling desperate and panicked. He felt the other boyfs hand suddenly slip much lower and wrap around his aching desire, which he had been trying to ignore until that moment.
Raito stroked him teasingly, not permitting him to get into a rhythm. He twisted and arched helplessly, uncertain if he was trying to get away or if he was just asking for more.
Suddenly, the hands and lips withdrew, leaving him struggling for breath and burning up. gRaito?h he whispered into the darkness, feeling deprived.
“You were thinking that you wanted me to stop, weren’t you? You seem so frightened, L.h The voice was taunting, yet full and caressing. There were promises in it. Threats.
L swallowed anxiously, trying to ignore his throbbing body and the feeling of closeness that had swamped him when he was being kissed and touched by Raito. Kira. His enemy. His friend.
“That’s right, Raito,” he asserted in a slightly tremulous voice. “I don’t like this sort of thing, even if you might go in for--”
Raito suddenly leaned in again. gThen why are you so aroused, L? Tell me that, because I was holding you in my hand, so Ifm well aware of how you felt about it.h
L flinched into the pillow in shame, silent. He didnft want to react that way to this beautiful, monstrous and maddening person that taunted him and mocked him. He closed his eyes against the desire of his body, trying to will it away. But it seemed that once his body had realized its desire, it refused to back down. Just as Raito had said, he was painfully aroused.
“I know what you want, L,” Raito murmured, hand returning to stroke his side lightly. “Why don’t you tell me? I can see it in the way you look at me. Even before you knew, I knew you wanted this.”
L thought that sounded like an utter lie, but he knew better than to disturb the flow of Raitofs con act when it was in action.
“Tell me,h Raito growled, hand coasting down Lfs body to grip him almost painfully.
He strangled his cry of pleasure, trying to retain at least a shred of his dignity. He couldnft stand being so helpless during something like this, and with Raito, no less. But it was also sickly appealing to him, and he hated that even more. This way, he had an excuse to give in to his captor.
“There’s nothing to tell,” he managed to force out, challenged by the effort it took to string coherent words together when Raito was touching him so intimately.
Raito unbuttoned, unzipped and wrestled Lfs jeans off, then divested him of his boxers. L thought of struggling, but all he could do was lie there as if in shock as he was methodically stripped. Raito then spread Lfs legs apart forcefully, easing down to lie between them. Their noses touched briefly as the brunette came in for another punishing, soul-tainting kiss.
The feeling of Raitofs slacks sliding over his arousal made him whimper and writhe, and he would have bitten his lip except his mouth was no longer his own. Those hips moved demandingly against his as his captorfs tongue stroked his, plunging into the soft flesh of his mouth.
L had never felt so exposed and overwhelmed in his life. In fact, nothing he had ever experienced even came close to this. It made him want to run away as fast as he could, but also birthed a fierce desire to hold onto Raito as if there were no tomorrow, to dig in until he drew blood.
It was pathetic that simple sexual contact could make him feel this way. This person is truly amazing, L thought wryly.
Raito pulled back slightly, separating their mouths, and began to stroke Lfs desperate flesh with his hand again. gCome on, give it to me,h the brunette crooned sweetly to him, fingers working his body expertly.
Just hearing something so scandalous from Raitofs lips made him want to comply. gWhy are youcdoing this?h L panted hoarsely.
“Kira likes you,h Raito said softly into his ear, running his tongue lightly over the lobe.
He felt his heart skip a beat before it accelerated even more. The blood was rushing in his ears, and there was an unbearable gathering low in his groin, a feeling that was spreading into his stomach and drawing his entire being in.
“And you said you didn’t want Kira,” Raito murmured as L’s body went into overdrive.
He barely heard the words, so preoccupied was he with what was happening within him, not to mention the maddening stroking of that capable, clever hand. He lost himself within it, but faintly heard the sound of low laughter in his ears as he found release, spending himself in Kirafs service.
“Giving in to me isn’t so bad, is it?” Raito whispered against L’s heated cheek, brushing a light kiss over it in passing. Again came a click from the bedside table.
The other boy suddenly rose and went to the bathroom, leaving L to listen to the sound of running water and to contemplate the horror that had just occurred. He was mortally ashamed of himself, and disgusted. He found that he wanted very much to bathe and pretend that he had never allowed Kira to touch him that way.
L consoled himself with the fact that he was handcuffed and had not been able to get away. Any healthy young man would enjoy being stimulated in that way, even if it were by someone they despised or werenft attracted to. Any young man. In fact, he had probably held out much better than most people would have. Raito was very beautiful and skilled, despite being a mass-murderer and male.
Anyone would have reacted the way he just had. Anyone.
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Raito groaned into his washcloth as he stroked himself in the shower, unable to stand it any longer. Ryuuzaki, Ryuuzaki, Ryuuzakic
He had never seen anything more desirable than his half-naked and helpless captive, gazing up at him with those vulnerable eyes, with desire and need. It had been so difficult to restrain himself, to keep from going all the way right then. He had wanted to so badly. So badly. To just lose himself in Lfs body, to spread him wide open and drive his need into him over and over, to make the detective scream and cry. Oh, god, he wanted it more than anything.
Even more than a pure world. Utter blasphemy for anyone aspiring to be a god.
And the noises the detective had made for him. GOD. He had almost lost it half a dozen times listening to those arousing, sensual noises as he touched that pale body. Raito closed his eyes tightly, clenching his teeth and breathing hard as his orgasm snapped through him with surprising savagery.
He shuddered violently against the bathroom wall, riding it out as he curled in on himself. He had never wanted anyone this badly. Never. How had he not seen it for what it was, that desire to imprison, control and manipulate the detective? The desire to keep L alive, no matter how dangerous it was.
Would he ruin his plans with this insane lust? This demented lust that climbed up his spine with steel hooks and took over his supposedly brilliant mind with the overriding need to bring his flesh into contact with Ryuuzakifs in the most intimate ways possible.
Raito straightened and rinsed himself off. He still had to clean L up.
And he knew that L would not ever suspect that he had told the truth when he said he liked him. Obviously he must, otherwise he would not have been the victim of this wild lust.
No more alcohol.
But at least he now had a way out of the Watari issue.