Death Note Fan Fiction ❯ Brilliance Tarnished ❯ Caged ( Chapter 3 )

A/N: Yes, I still read all of my reviews! Thank you for the encouragement and for taking the time to read my fic and send the reviews in. :) Sorry for the looong delay!

 

~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~ |~*~|~*~|~*

 

 

“Ryuuzaki, will you have croissants for breakfast?” Raito asked from the kitchen.

 

L nodded mutely from his perch on the footrest, unable to meet Raito's eyes. Ever since waking up this morning, he had been utterly incapable of looking the other boy in the eye. Or even the face.

 

The things that Raito had done to him didn't bear thinking upon. But think upon them he had, almost constantly since last night. He fervently wished that he had the privacy in which to freak out.

 

But he did not have that luxury at the moment. So he simply sat staring at the floor, his chin tucked into his upraised knees.

 

Raito's hands. Delete. Raito's lips. Delete. Raito's dark and taunting laughter. Deletedeletedeletedeletedeletedeletedelete!

 

“..zaki? Ryuuzaki!”

 

Raito's impatient tone broke through his barely contained panic, and he reached out to take the plate of croissants that was being jabbed at him. “Sorry,” he muttered, barely noticing the coffee that the other boy set down on the coffee table next to him.

 

The brunette's scent was overwhelming him. Raito had not straightened from placing the coffee, but remained leaning over. He could feel that penetrating gaze trying to pry his brain apart.

 

“Ryuuzaki, what's the matter?” The concerned tone of the question only made it worse.

 

“Raito, please,” he choked, turning his head away. After a moment, he heard his captor straighten, felt the sanity-numbing focus upon his person ease up.

 

“I don't know what's wrong with you today. Perhaps I should just leave early. I won't be back for quite some time, as I have dinner at my family's house this evening.” Raito sounded waspish.

 

“Fine,” he murmured, not rising to the bait.

 

“But first, I need your assistance, and you're going to give it to me.”

 

L raised his head at the arrogant tone, finally glancing at the other boy grudgingly. Raito's expression was indeed arrogant and assessing. “And why would I do that?” he grumbled rebelliously.

 

“Because you'll always give me what I want, L.” That smirk implied levels of meaning.

 

He looked away again, face burning with humiliation. No matter how he tried, the images from last night kept pouring over him, tearing his pride and self-respect down piece by piece.

 

“If you thought that I wouldn't realize that you had a contingency plan set up with Watari in the event of your disappearance, you're wrong. We're going to record you saying that everything is fine and to abandon that plan until further notice. You're going to tell him that you're going underground for a while on a hot lead, and not to look for you.”

 

L stared even harder at the floor, biting down on this thumb aggressively. “Again, Raito, there is no reason for me to feel compelled to assist you.”

 

“Oh, but there is.” The brunette's voice sounded smug, self-satisfied. “I will release this to the internet and to all major news networks if you don't make that recording for me.”

 

As L lifted his head and turned to look at what `this' might be, he heard his own voice gasping out of the small recorder held in the other boy's hand. He stared in horror.

 

“I don't like this sort of thing, even if you might go in for--”

 

“Then why are you so aroused, L? Tell me that, because I was holding you in my hand, so I'm well aware of how you feel about it.”

 

Raito pressed another button, fast forwarding for a moment before pressing play again.

 

“Ah! Please…!”

 

“And you said you didn't want Kira.”

 

“Ah…nn!” Heavy gasping.

 

Raito pressed the stop button and smiled sincerely at L. “You see? The entire world would know that the great L gave it up to another boy. It would be simple to distort the sound of my name and my voice and release this as L with Kira, wouldn't it? And even if everyone wasn't convinced, it would still greatly damage your reputation. So shouldn't you just make the recording telling Watari to stand down?”

 

L buried his face against his knees. He didn't want to live like this. And the worst of it was that he now suspected that he had actually always liked the brunette, had always wanted him. But like this…and yet, would it have ever happened otherwise?

 

He didn't care. He despised it, he didn't want it.

 

“Come on, Ryuuzaki,” his captor crooned, sounding closer. “Do this for me - in return for my care of you.”

 

L glared up at the other boy as he approached. “You're sick.”

 

“If this is sick, then I want to be as sick as possible with you,” Raito repeated, gaze darkening.

 

He tensed as the recorder was lowered to his face, a few inches away from his lips, and tried to push away the images that came with Raito's repeated words from last night. Was he truly going to do this? Help this charming, mass-murdering rapist escape capture?

 

But did he really want that recording out on the internet?

 

Finally, he nodded jerkily and Raito pressed the record button. “Watari, it's…L. I'm placing the emergency plan on indefinite hold. I'm fine, but I'm going to have to remain out of contact. I think I'm close to capturing Kira, and I can't jeopardize that by trying to make regular communications. I'll let you know when I have something.” He deeply wished now that he had gone over an innocuous phrase to use that would indicate duress or a hostile situation, thus negating his assurance that all was well.

 

But he had never arranged anything of the sort because he had always been so secure in the notion that he would never be under duress, that no one would manage to capture him with all of his security and the many other precautions he had always observed. He had been arrogant.

 

He hadn't counted on someone like Raito.

 

Raito stopped the recorder and lightly stroked the back of L's neck, making him flinch and shudder. The hand on his neck paused, then clenched, securing him.

 

His captor leaned down until their faces were too close. “Don't tell me that you don't enjoy my touch, Ryuuzaki. I know better.” Raito brushed a gentle kiss over L's lips, the tenderness belying the violence that the other boy was capable of.

 

A shiver and a yearning went through him from the slight contact of their lips and the pressure of those fingers clamped at the base of his neck. He pulled away, disturbed, and Raito allowed it.

 

The other boy straightened, gazing down upon him with the smile of a conqueror. “Be good, Ryuuzaki.”

 

L didn't answer, staring at the wall as Raito left. He only allowed himself to relax when he heard the locks slide home. He brought his hand up to his mouth immediately, biting down on his thumb again to tear his thoughts away from the brunette's perfect form.

 

He is like a god to me, if I could ever believe in such a thing. His clever mind, the way he speaks, the way he moves…and the incredible beauty of him on every level. To have Raito's attention like that was terrifying…and intoxicating.

 

“It's that type of thinking!” he snapped out loud, shutting his eyes tightly. “I am letting him do this to me because I'm too weak!” He felt the vague burn of tears behind his eyelids and refused them. The greatest detective in the world was not going to be brought to this simply because he was backed into a corner by his quarry.

 

He would find a way.

 

 

 

~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~ |~*~|~*~|~*

 

 

 

Raito was so content that he could almost allow himself to hum. Not that he would, of course, but the feeling was there, bubbling in his throat.

 

His first stop was the bank, of course, where he was about to ensure that Watari would cease and desist all pursuit and execution of whatever contingency plan L had established previously.

 

He sat down in the chair provided in the private room and opened his safe deposit box once again. Removing L's phone and opening it, he scrolled through the contacts until he found Watari's number. At this time of day, the man would likely be working with the task force and be unable to answer the call. Presumably. But just in case, he would record it onto L's phone and send it as a voice message rather than risk a direct call.

 

Raito sighed at the inconvenience. He didn't feel comfortable doing it at the bank. He would have to leave the building with both phones and then return shortly thereafter to return them. How troublesome. But what was necessary was necessary, and he had never been one to shirk.

 

After that was taken care of, L was all his. He would have to stop in over at headquarters just to make his usual appearance to prevent any suspicion against him, and then he'd have to go and check on his other apartment.

 

After that, he would go and be the dutiful and innocent son, perfect in every way.

 

To think...L was paying him very well to do this to him...or rather, to be on the task force. But it amounted to the same thing.

 

You've always wanted this, he thought at L, smiling. But I am entertained by your token resistance.

 

He slipped both phones into the pockets of his slacks, one on either side so as to be less obvious, and closed the safe deposit box, preparing to leave.

 

Overall, today would be pleasant. If he tried, he would be able to leave his family's house in a timely fashion and spend some time with L before the end of the day. Even though he had just left the detective a short while ago, he was already looking forward to seeing him again.

 

 

~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~ |~*~|~*~|~*

 

 

 

L was trying to shrug the stiffness out of his shoulder when he heard the front door being unlocked. Raito was home. A surge of delighted dread went through him.

 

He picked up his book from the coffee table quickly, pretending to read as the door opened. “Raito's books leave something to be desired,” he remarked to the brunette, who was just then walking into the kitchen.

 

“Hmm,” Raito responded, checking his watch as he took a couple of bottled waters from the refrigerator. “You must be hungry, Ryuuzaki. I brought home some leftovers, so I'll heat something up for you right now.”

 

L blinked.

 

The other boy rounded the corner and came towards him, offering one of the bottles and setting the other down on a coaster on the coffee table. Without pausing, Raito slipped the key to the handcuffs from his mouth and bent over L, unlocking the remaining cuff.

 

L stared.

 

Raito took the handcuffs and slipped the key back into his mouth before heading back into the kitchen to use the microwave.

 

He stared down at his completely unfettered hands, shocked. It wasn't like the brunette to give up control, not at all. He had never known him to do so unless it was part of a...plan. Part of a plan? But what plan could that possibly be? He was already trapped here. Was it to make him overconfident? But to what purpose?

 

His captor returned, bearing a plate of rice, fish and vegetables. L recoiled. “Ugh.”

 

The reaction earned him a stern glance from Raito. “Ryuuzaki, you need to eat a balanced meal sometimes. You're going to eat this.”

 

L stared down at what he was being offered, analyzing the contents of the plate again with evident disgust.

 

“Eat it or wear it,” the other boy threatened, burnt amber eyes warning him to cease all resistance.

 

L sighed and took the plate, picking up the chopsticks that rested on the side. If this was his penance for having both hands free, so be it. He began picking determinedly. Nothing was worse than an angry Raito, not even a balanced, sugar-free meal.

 

Raito went into the other room with the handcuffs, taking off his shirt as he went.

 

He was forced to pause with the chopsticks halfway to his mouth as he caught a glimpse of the brunette's back and side before his view was cut off. He berated himself silently. So what? It was skin. They were boys. Being shirtless wasn't momentous. Besides, why should he care? He wouldn't have cared even had Raito been a girl.

 

L resumed eating impatiently, annoyed with himself for the way his mind refused to stop fixating on what Raito was doing in the other room.

 

Raito walked back in wearing a white terry bathrobe, perfect hair slightly disheveled. The lines of his throat and collarbones were revealed by its gape, as well as the beginning of a smooth, well-shaped chest.

 

EATING, he thought forcefully, continuing with an effort.

 

His captor collected his own bottled water from the bar and began sipping at it, regarding L calmly the entire time.

 

“I can't eat when I'm being watched, Raito,” L complained.

 

The other boy paused in his drinking to answer. “Why not? You can do other things while you're being watched. What's eating compared to that?” Smirk.

 

He turned multiple shades of deep red and refused to answer, doggedly finishing his meal. If this was going to be his companion's mood for the evening, he didn't want any part of it.

 

Raito set the water down, then took L's empty plate from him and went to the kitchen with it, washing it and putting it in the rack to dry, as was the usual routine.

 

That was reassuring, at least. It was when the other boy deviated that he truly had to worry.

 

“Come, Ryuuzaki. It's time for bed.” Kira was peering out from behind Raito's eyes again. It was also in the sheer, unadulterated arrogance, the commanding tilt of that lovely head.

 

“So how did things go at headquarters? Does everyone believe that I've gone underground?” His tone was slightly challenging.

 

“Yes, they all believe it. No one is concerned, not even Watari. He came by today and informed all of us of the message you'd left, and that we would just have to continue on our own for a while. No one is looking for you, L.” Raito was sneering at him now, not even bothering to disguise it.

 

He gave the killer his most deadpan stare in return. “You're not a very nice friend, Raito. In fact, I don't think that I like you very much.”

 

“Is that so?” the other boy breathed menacingly, shifting his weight slowly from one leg to the other, his hand on his hip. “Then you won't mind if I just order you to bed. I think I'm done enduring you for tonight.”

 

L felt faintly offended and hurt, despite the fact that he had just insulted Raito and had only received the inevitable response.

 

He rose to his feet, uncertain of how far he should push the brunette - but willing to test his boundaries. “What if I say no?”

 

Raito shot him a dark look. “Then we'll just have to fight it out, won't we? You're going where I say you're going, and that's final. It's just a matter of whether you go willingly or not.”

 

Not worth it. “Fine, Raito, I'll go to bed.”

 

“You get the bathroom first,” his captor said firmly.

 

“All right,” he responded uncertainly, turning to head into the bathroom. He was aware of Raito close behind him. What was with the other boy tonight? Despite the relatively normal behavior, L felt disturbed by the presence of Kira.

 

Instead of allowing him to close the bathroom door behind him, Raito pushed in right behind him, crowding him and herding him forward.

 

“What are you - Raito! I thought I was going to -“ he broke off as he was pushed roughly towards the shower stall.

 

“Get in,” his captor ordered coldly.

 

L was forced to comply in the interest of not cracking his head open on the tile. He didn't think that Raito was above hurting him to attain the desired result. “If you wanted me to take a shower so badly—“ he began in exasperation.

 

Raito suddenly grabbed the hem of L's shirt and dragged it up over his head, dropping it on the floor. The other boy was unbearably close to him, and the robe had slipped off of one shoulder in an effect that was startlingly appealing.

 

He was so intrigued by the naked shoulder before him that he was startled when he felt handcuffs close over his wrists. L jerked in surprise, looking down. He was handcuffed to the usual rail, but this time neither hand had been left free. Had the handcuffs already been there, or had Raito pulled them out of his robe pocket while L was distracted? He was definitely slipping if he couldn't say which it had been.

 

He turned back to Raito to gaze down at him questioningly. “Raito, what's with all of the…the…” he trailed off as he realized that his captor was ignoring him in favor of getting his jeans unbuttoned and off of his hips.

 

There was a growing feeling of dread-excitement in the pit of his stomach. Perhaps it wasn't only a shower that Raito wanted from him. Maybe…his captor wanted to touch him again? His eyes slid closed against his will, and he forced them open again. He must not give in.

 

Raito chuckled softly, darkly, slipping L's underwear off as well. “You see, Ryuuzaki?” the brunette murmured, gazing down at his body.

 

Reluctantly, he looked down at himself. It was obvious that he was at least slightly aroused. Humiliation and shame sizzled up the back of his throat, making it clench.

 

“That's just perfect,” Raito whispered, untying his robe and allowing it to fall amongst their other clothing.

 

L stared silently. Raito was definitely aroused, and there was no doubt about it. “R-raito…”

 

“Yes,” the other boy whispered, pressing close to him. Those lips were hunting his.

 

He turned his head sullenly, trying not to become involved any further. Not that resisting would matter - this was Kira, after all, his friend, and both were very determined people.

 

A hand clenched forcefully in L's hair to keep his head still and Raito's lips found his, forcing his mouth open, cutting lips on teeth with the roughness of it. He thought of biting, but thought again when he considered how that match would go when he didn't even have a hand free.

 

A hand stroking over his left hip and lower stomach made him flinch back, but he was pinned between the wall and the beautiful boy in front of him - and the handcuffs weren't about to disappear.

 

Raito's arousal was rubbing against his, driving him wild, and that demanding mouth stole L's strength from him. Without warning, hands on his shoulders forced him down on his knees before the other boy. Those same hands then pressed him closer, lightly combing through his hair.

 

He couldn't help but be painfully aware of where that put his face in regard to the evidence of Raito's arousal. A moment later, its silken heat was pressed against his cheek.

 

“Ryuuzaki…” the brunette growled, hands urging him silently.

 

Raito wanted him to actually….actually…??

 

 

~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~ |~*~|~*~|~*

 

 

 

“Shouldn't Misa be doing this for you?” Ryuuzaki said suddenly, an edge to his voice.

 

Raito looked down, surprised at the nerve of the detective. Those dark eyes were narrow with resistance, but the pale cheeks were flushed and his captive's body had definitely defected to his side.

 

“Misa is boring,” he replied coldly. He tenderly stroked the dark-haired boy's cheeks. “Come on, just a little,” Raito murmured, gently rolling his hips against Ryuuzaki's face.

 

I want into that obnoxious little mouth, he thought fiercely. He would use force if the other boy made him resort to it.

 

“No,” the detective said shortly, glaring up at him.

 

“This can be as easy or as difficult as you'd like,” Raito said with faux sweetness, smile curdling with cruelty.

 

Had Ryuuzaki just flinched slightly?

 

“Kira likes it when you resist,” he whispered, pushing it further. The negative reaction was immediate in the tightening of the skin around the other boy's eyes, the thinning of those lips. But would that work for him or against him?

 

Silence. Ryuuzaki's eyes had closed, brows slightly knitted with what looked like pain or unhappiness.

 

He took the opportunity to position himself, pressing slightly forward between Ryuuzaki's lips.

 

The other boy made a dismayed sound, trying to back away, but there was nowhere to go. Wide, dark eyes looked up at him with frantic, betrayed anger. Meeting that gaze calmly, he pushed a little further into that mouth. Waited. The ambient heat was driving him insane, and the tightness of the lips around him was torturous. If only L would just…god. He wanted to let go and do this properly and thoroughly, but his captive wouldn't let him.

 

He felt a moment of rage and frustration at being denied, but he had to be slightly patient if he wanted to take L apart from the inside. It had to be done…just like this.

 

“Come on, Ryuu…” he entreated, stroking the other boy's face again. “You're the only one I can do this with.” He pushed further, and he felt his arousal brush across Ryuuzaki's tongue. He gasped, closing his eyes tightly for a moment as his hands clenched in dark hair.

 

When he recovered himself, he opened his eyes and looked down. Dark eyes were watching him with wariness and surprise. Did the detective think that he was immune to this sort of thing?

 

Raito drew back slightly and pushed in again, once more feeling that tongue as his sensitive skin moved across it. He clenched his jaw against the pleasure and repeated the movement against L's sounds of protest around his hard heat.

 

“It's easier if you just…take it, Ryuuzaki…ngh…” His breathing was elevated and he was losing control of himself, unable to remain calm and gloating with this distraction.

 

The resistance around him slowly eased, and he was able to gain true access to the wet warmth of Ryuuzaki's mouth. It was letting him in now, no longer rejecting him.

 

Raito looked down again and found that the dark-haired boy's eyes were shut, and the tormented expression was back on his pale face. Those fists were clenched over his head where the handcuffs restrained them, and L was making soft little noises of…grief? Pleasure? He couldn't tell.

 

He continued to stroke L's face and cheeks in rhythm with his thrusts, whispering, “Take it, take me in,” over and over between his own moans and gasps.

 

It wasn't long before he wasn't able to hold back any longer. Just seeing himself being enveloped in that defiant, clever mouth was painfully pleasurable. And the faint, independent flicks of L's tongue warily and discreetly tasting him were unbearable and quite enough to make him want to do this all night.

 

“Ryuu…zaki…ah…I'm going…going to—“ Raito clenched his fists in the other boy's hair, forcing the detective to continue pleasuring him without moving as his pace quickened and he released his heat and passion into that waiting mouth. He shuddered violently, biting the inside of his cheek until he tasted blood. His knees were trembling, and only his impressive will kept him on his feet.

 

You want this. You want it just like this, L. I know you.

 

Ryuuzaki made a faint choking noise and swallowed, not trying to resist anymore. Raito stayed where he was for long moments, gazing down at that face and the mouth that still held him in its sweet, soft humidity. He felt…warm inside.

 

Those eyes didn't open, and the pained expression didn't change, although L was trembling slightly, fingers twitching from time to time.

 

Raito slowly pulled out of Ryuuzaki's mouth and knelt, gently wiping the other boy's lips as his captive sagged. “You swallowed me just like you were supposed to. I'm very pleased.”

 

Dark eyes opened slowly, faint and flickering as they gazed into his. Was that…despair? Shame? Surely something as small as this wasn't enough to defeat the indomitable L. He pressed a tender kiss to those lips once, twice. “You're beautiful,” he said almost sweetly. “Did you know that?”

 

Ryuuzaki's eyes widened slightly, looking more alert than they had a moment before.

 

Raito traced a line down the detective's stomach. “Yes, you are. I'm certain that no one has ever said so. But there you have it. Instead…they look at people like me and say that, but they have no idea.”

 

He reached out for the nearest bottle and squeezed some shampoo into his hand. Setting it aside, he reached out for that helpless body, his lips flirting with those of the dark-haired boy.

 

“No,” Ryuuzaki breathed, trying to twist away.

 

“Why are you bothering to protest this? I'm just making sure you're comfortable.” He smiled reassuringly.

 

Those dark eyes locked on his, looking haunted and tormented. “No more,” his captive pled.

 

Raito sighed, hanging his head. “You're being absurd. Just relax.” He trailed his fingers up the other boy's length, allowing the shampoo to run down his fingers and ooze its way onto Ryuuzaki's skin.

 

L gasped, twisting futilely against the handcuffs as his back arched. He moaned as Raito's fingers crept around him, tightening and sliding with a ruinous confidence.

 

Raito smiled, trying to suppress the wide grin that his friend hated. But this…this was what he had always wanted from his life. He had simply never known it before now, yet had always been searching. Somehow, it was in Ryuuzaki's harsh breaths, that damp skin, those spread legs. Ryuuzaki, L…made life truly worthwhile and entertaining, ultimately. Nothing else could hold his attention in this way.

 

He leaned in and penetrated L's mouth with insistent, patient thrusts of his tongue, and another gasp let him in. Raito cornered the detective in his own mouth, pushing, dominating, gently violating…as his hands worked skillfully between them.

 

The dark-haired boy was trembling hard now, no longer bothering to open his eyes and keep tabs on Raito. No, his captive was plainly lost in pleasure.

 

He broke their kiss, leaning in until his lips could caress the other boy's ear. “Do you like how I taste, Ryuuzaki? I love…your mouth. It's treacherous. Also, I like the way you feel in my hands. You're so excited. You want this so much. Why do you always struggle?”

 

A couple of inarticulate noises were his only response.

 

“Come on, I want you to lose control for me,” he murmured into Ryuuzaki's ear, one hand sliding around to caress the other boy's backside.

 

L's breath caught in response to the new stimulus, so Raito continued with it, fondling and squeezing. His captive shuddered and jerked in response, leaning into his shoulder.

 

The other boy cried out loudly in release and bit the side of Raito's neck, startling him with the abruptness of it, not to mention the biting itself.

 

He drew back slightly, cupping Ryuuzaki's face with sticky hands. His companion seemed to be ignoring him in favor of catching his breath, eyes remaining closed, so Raito leaned in to feather kisses over that pale face, dropping them indiscriminately. Mouth, nose, cheeks, eyelids.

 

Strange how soft that skin was, how it reminded him of cream or milk. He wanted to taste it, run his tongue over it - but he restricted himself to kisses.

 

L's eyes opened to regard him, some unnameable quality or emotion lurking in their darkness. The look made him pause. The moment stretched out.

 

Discomfited by the peculiar quality of that gaze, Raito bent his attention on carefully collected the clothing that pooled around them, leaning to put it safely on top of the toilet seat.

 

He then rose and pulled the curtain closed, then turned the shower on warm and rinsed them both off. L was like a doll the entire time, moving when moved, but largely unresponsive. Those large, dark eyes were now staring vacantly at the bottom of the shower stall, barely even blinking.

 

Raito felt a twinge of worry, but dismissed it. He was doing this correctly. L was tougher than he seemed. There was no other way to break the other boy to his will.

 

He finished and turned off the water, then removed the handcuff key from his bathrobe pocket and released L. “Come on, Ryuuzaki, time for bed.”

 

The detective responded numbly, rising and going to the sink. They both brushed their teeth, and then L allowed himself to be led to Raito's bed.

 

“No handcuffs this time, but you're going to stay with me.” He expected some token resistance, but there was none at all. Ryuuzaki climbed into bed obediently.

 

Raito wedged the handcuff key under the mattress and slid in beside him, wrapping his arms about his friend and pulling him close. “There, Ryuu, we'll be lovers tonight. That makes your earlier concessions entirely acceptable, don't you think?”

 

Only soft breathing answered him. He pressed a kiss to Ryuuzaki's forehead. “Don't hate me,” he murmured, already falling into sleep.

 

 

 

~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~|~*~ |~*~|~*~|~*

 

 

 

L felt his throat tighten, felt himself close to panic. It was unbearably intimate to be forced to lay in the same bed as the other boy, pressed against Raito's naked body.

 

Hate you? Hate you?? How could I hate you when you give me what I want and then make it my fault?

 

He could still feel the sliding, sheathed fire of Raito between his lips and in his mouth, and every moment was burned into his mind. He could never seem to forget about these things once they had happened, but instead had to endure their replay over and over.

 

And the shame, the humiliation burning in his stomach. It made him feel physically ill. He had given in, he had given Raito his mouth, taken the brunette's essence into his body without even thinking about it. Instinctually.

 

The shame spiked more sharply when he recalled how his captor's moans and reactions had increased his own arousal tenfold. He had begun to…begun to seek those responses with slight reactions of his own, movements of his tongue.

 

Then, to make things even worse, Raito had considerately seen to L's pleasure - but he didn't want the other boy to see his responses, his excitement when he was touched by the one person he should feel only disgust for.

 

But he had been touched, smirked over, probed and explored all the same. This time had been worse than last time. This time he had wanted to scream when those hands had taken him, when those evil lips had murmured sweetly blasphemous things into his ear as he was losing himself.

 

Yes, I do like the taste of the devil, he thought, burning with self-loathing.

 

And he received a sick and irrational comfort from being held in the devil's arms tonight.