Death Note Fan Fiction ❯ Brilliance Tarnished ❯ Consumed ( Chapter 4 )

A/N: Ahahaa, at last! This chapter gets a non-con warning. Loving the reviews! I actually want to reply to some of them.... :D

 

 

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Raito blinked awake quickly, as he usually did. But something was different.

 

His eyes focused on the curve of a pale shoulder, the back of a dark head. One of his arms was folded, trapped between his chest and L's back, and the other was casually draped over his captive's bare hip.

 

He closed his eyes for a moment as a thrill rushed through him, tasting again his pleasure from last night. He had never felt so intensely, never felt so alive. None of his girlfriends had ever made him feel anything close to that, despite their intense desire to please him. No, he had always been...bored with it all.

 

It was a very good thing that he hadn't killed L out of hand before trying out his kidnapping idea. This...this was the best. His own secret game that the other boy played along with so perfectly.

 

Raito opened his eyes again, examining the vulnerable curve of Ryuuzaki's neck. The detective truly seemed to be asleep, so he leaned forward and began kissing that exposed skin, gently drawing it into his mouth to taste and lightly bite.

 

L jerked awake with a gasp, but froze after doing so. “Don't...do that,” the other boy said in a flat, quiet voice.

 

He laughed softly, letting his fingers play over Ryuuzaki's hip. It made his captive flinch. Raito smirked widely, enjoying the discomfort he was causing. “But Ryuuzaki, you were able to sleep without handcuffs last night. Wasn't that much more comfortable?”

 

The other boy remained sullenly silent, curling slightly away from the heat of Raito's body.

 

Which was just as well, as he found that he was becoming aroused just by being pressed against L's naked warmth. He slid out of bed, retrieving the key to the handcuffs from under the mattress where he had stashed it last night.

 

“I'm going to have to be gone for a long time today, Ryuuzaki, so I'm going to lock you in this room instead of cuffing you in the living room. You'll be free to move around in here.”

 

“Thank you,” L responded woodenly, not moving.

 

Raito found that his gaze kept being drawn to the detective's body where it lay amongst the tangled sheets. So white, so fragile. He wanted to consume it, fight his way inside of it, make it accept him as a part of it, however temporarily. His fingers wanted to trace that spine, wanted to bite into any soft place they could find.

 

He wanted to make L cry as much as any of those things.

 

Raito turned away with a will. “Is this how you're going to be today?” he asked the silent room, allowing his tone to express disappointment and disdain.

 

 

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L felt the urge to turn over and glare at Raito, but restrained himself. “You don't care if I hate you or not,” L heard himself snap, sounding angry.

 

There was a long silence from Raito, and he began to think that he had angered the other boy, that he had said something wrong again. But then his captor came around the end of the bed, crossing into his line of sight. He was confronted with the brunette's beautiful and perfect body once again, and his appreciation of it filled him with a fresh ocean of shame.

 

“Ryuuzaki, of course I care. After all, it'd be very tedious if you hated me.” Raito was smiling, and a faint sickness laced the edges of it.

 

L averted his eyes to keep from staring - and to prevent the rise of nausea that the smile was causing in him. “It's difficult not to hate someone who imprisons and rapes you.”

 

“Rape is such a strong word. I haven't done anything that you didn't want, and we both know it. I certainly haven't raped you yet - and I have no intention of doing so.” Raito's voice was calm and cool, but far from reassuring.

 

The 'yet' made his stomach lurch sickeningly. He wouldn't. It's just another psychological game, a provocation. “If I had wanted it, I would have asked. I certainly wouldn't have said 'no, stop' if I had somehow desired such a thing.” L tried to keep his tone level and inflectionless, but it was difficult with his feelings being so tumultuous. He had already given the other boy too much to work with.

 

Raito spread his well-shaped hands. “Why are your words never truthful, Ryuuzaki?” The brunette sighed. “I can see you're going to continue being unpleasant, so I'm going to leave shortly. I'm hoping that you'll be in a better temper when I return.” His captor turned away, going to the closet.

 

He thought a fierce spate of obscenities at Raito's back, extremely disturbed by his insistent desire to look at the other boy's body. Perhaps he was suffering from some form of Stockholm Syndrome. Once he escaped, he would only see Kira as Kira, not as an attractive person. It was the conditions he was being forced to endure, the fear of death and punishment.

 

That was all it was.

 

L turned his face into the pillow.

 

 

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Raito sighed in disgust as he tapped away at the keyboard before him, pretending to be utterly absorbed although he was in fact quite aware of the other task force members.

 

He didn't want to be sitting at headquarters, wasting his time chasing the shadow of himself. He would much rather be playing with L...whom he was supposed to be clueless about, just like the other members.

 

He had gone to the bank first this morning to check the cell phone messages. L hadn't had any at all, which wasn't surprising, but he had been forced to listen to messages for five minutes straight. Misa was lonely and bored and wondered where he had been, and his mother was begging him to spend more time with the family and to help his sister with her homework and her behavior.

 

Aside from having to do something about those two things, he also had to waste his time here at headquarters and then go back to his actual apartment to water the plants, throw some clothes around and do something with the leftovers from the other night. Perhaps he should even pick up some more groceries just to insure that his refrigerator didn't look so suspiciously empty.

 

“Yagami-kun?”

 

He snapped out of his reverie to find Matsuda standing beside him, looking concerned. “Yagami-kun, I think you've been working too hard. You come here and work the case, and then you go home and work on it some more. You look tired. I think you're taking this too hard.”

 

Raito sighed and looked up at Matsuda's puppy face, his own filled with concern. “But with L going it alone, we have to pick up the slack and reinforce his work. It's dangerous, Matsuda-san, and the sooner we catch Kira, the safer it is for L. Don't you miss him? To tell you the truth, I feel a little...a little lost without him.”

 

Matsuda's eyes widened, a slight blush tinging his cheeks. “Yeah, well, you and L are really...on the same wavelength Yagami-kun, right? Two of a kind.” Matsuda paused, then rushed ahead. “Except you're a lot cooler, of course - well, not that L isn't cool, too, but you're cool in the popular guy sort of way.”

 

He found it difficult to keep from laughing. “You're right, Matsuda-san. I think that I could call him my best friend.” Raito added some soulfulness to his gaze.

 

Matsuda's blush darkened and he looked the slightest bit disappointed. “Yeah, of course. It's exactly like that. I'm sure you'll be really...happy when he comes back. No one can stand in for L.”

 

What the...? Raito nodded dismissively and returned his attention, but internally he was slightly disgusted. Did Matsuda like him or something? He would definitely have to work the best friends with L angle to keep Matsuda from even entertaining the thought.

 

He kept discreetly glancing at his watch. 4 hours since he had arrived. Long enough. He closed all of his programs and rose, stretching. “Well, I'd better get going.”

 

No one paid any mind as he turned and headed for the door. Instead, they continued to diligently search for any trace of him, little realizing that Kira was in their midst. Fools.

 

He became aware of Ryuk drifting along behind him as he walked down the hall and felt irritation cut across his nerves. He had clearly told the shinigami to leave him completely alone during this operation. It only figured that the creature couldn't follow his orders for more than a few days.

 

Raito maintained his silence until he was out on the street. When no one was close enough to hear him, he said in an undertone, “What is it, Ryuk?”

 

Ryuk moved up to drift beside him, dead-fish eyes fixed on his person. “How long is this 'operation' going to take, Raito? I'm so bored. I thought you were supposed to be interesting, but you haven't even been using the Death Note lately.”

 

“Yes, well,” he replied waspishly. “These things take time. I should think being in the realm of the dead would give you greater patience. You're starting to sound like Misa.”

 

“ That's where you'd be wrong. Shinigami have less patience because we have to wait so long. Speaking of Misa, Rem is tired of waiting, too. When are you going to kill that detective?” Ryuk was silent for moment. “I'll never understand humans,” the shinigami concluded in a disgruntled tone.

 

“I'll finish him when I'm ready!” Raito hissed, feeling a surge of resentful hatred towards Ryuk and Rem.

 

“Rem is harder to convince than I am,” Ryuk said pointedly.

 

“She said she would be happy so long as I kept Misa happy, so there shouldn't be an issue with her.” Raito was feeling distinctly pressured today. The pressure had been building ever since he'd kidnapped L, as a matter of fact.

 

“But you're not spending a lot of time with Misa,” the shinigami observed.

 

“ Would you? God. You things are going to be the death of me.”

 

“ Yes, we are,” Ryuk assured him, grinning like a piranha. “At least, I might be.”

 

“Great , that's just fine,” he replied bitterly, annoyed. He would have to find a way to out of his deal with the shinigami. He had no intention of dying in such a pointless fashion. “Now leave me alone. Go and tell Rem that I have,” he glanced at his watch, “an hour to spend with Misa, but then I have to go and help Sayu with...life? As if I don't have my hands full with my own.”

 

Ryuk laughed in his disturbing fashion. “Yeah, Raito is the perfect role-model.”

 

He glared at the shinigami, but it was already moving away from him. “Why can't this day be over yet?” he muttered under his breath.

 

 

 

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Raito slammed the apartment door closed behind him, grateful to be home at last. As he carefully removed his shoes and aligned them against the wall, it struck him as vaguely ironic that his false home with Ryuuzaki had come to feel more like a real home than his own apartment or his family's house had ever been.

 

At least he no longer needed to have the key to the handcuffs in his mouth at all times. The metallic taste of it displeased him greatly, not to mention that it wasn't perfectly sanitary. He hoped that he would eventually be able to trust Ryuuzaki to roam the entire apartment without the need for handcuffs.

 

Raito made a face at the torn linoleum of the foyer, but dismissed it as an inconsequential annoyance as he made his way to the bedroom door, eager to see what L was up to. He unlocked the door as quietly as possible and slipped his keys back into his pocket, easing the door open.

 

L was sitting up in bed, a book in his hand, but his gaze was fixed on Raito. “You're home rather late,” the detective observed calmly. But there were lines of tension around the other boy's eyes.

 

Your poker face does you no good with me, L, Raito thought smugly. But the thought that his friend might not want him to be here displeased him. Time for a change in tactics.

 

He sat down on the other bed with a dejected sigh, staring at the floor. “You don't want me here. I suppose I could go back to Misa's place. She did ask me to stay, but...I thought you'd be lonely.”

 

Ryuuzaki made a disdainful sound. “Raito, I know that you did not return here for my benefit. You've already said that you find Misa boring.”

 

Raito resisted the urge to snarl or scowl at his captive. This would be more challenging than he had presumed. “I had assumed that you might miss me a little,” he replied acerbically. “Foolish of me, I'm sure.”

 

There was a long, motionless pause from the figure on the other bed. Assessing. Analyzing.

 

Fuck you and your rationality , he thought fiercely, surprising himself. The contained, aloof and controlled Ryuuzaki always antagonized him. He wanted to tear all of that apart to find the boy that trembled against him.

 

“I have become accustomed to your presence,” Ryuuzaki conceded.

 

“Sometimes I desperately hate you,” Raito said coolly, raising his eyes to glare at the dark-haired boy.

 

Those wide, dark eyes stared blankly back at him, but he saw the toes curl slowly in discomfort. “Then why don't you kill me already? Or is there some reason that Raito-kun abstains?”

 

You dare to taunt me! he raged internally, leaping to his feet to loom over the other boy menacingly. He grabbed the front of Ryuuzaki's sweatshirt in one fist, dragging the detective up towards him. “Maybe I should kill you, as worthless and annoying as you are!” he snarled into that face.

 

Something in his captive's eyes shuttered, turned away from him. “You will do whatever you like, Raito...kun.” That void gaze wandered across the room, fixing on the wall intently.

 

Raito drew back his hand and slapped Ryuuzaki across the face with measured force, intending to hurt but not damage.

 

Instead of being chastised, the other boy gave him a slight, maddening smirk, eyes returning to meet his. “You're so predictable, Yagami-kun.”

 

Fresh rage fountained in him. He is deliberately provoking me, trying to enrage me past all reason. For what purpose? “You have a death wish, don't you, L? Well, I'll not oblige you. But I can do something else.”

 

Anxiety suddenly undermined Ryuuzaki's resigned expression, breaking it apart. “I won't let you!” his friend snapped, pushing hard at Raito's chest and trying to pull away at the same time.

 

Raito laughed, catching those evasive hands in his. “What are you thinking? I only want to talk to you, Ryuuzaki. I'm going to bore you with an account of my day. If this is what a little freedom does to you, perhaps I should take to cuffing you again.”

 

Suspicion took up residence in the dark eyes that scrutinized his face. “Talking?”

 

“Yes. My mouth moves, your mouth moves. We exchange information. Typical human past-time.” He laid the sarcasm on heavily, disdainfully.

 

“Tea?” the detective prompted, still guarded.

 

“If you stop acting like a moron, perhaps.”

 

 

 

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L slowly relaxed as he stared up into those burning amber eyes, uncertain. The topmost thought in his mind was that he sincerely wanted Raito to release his hands. The second thought beneath that was that he'd like to punch the other boy for implying that he was the one with the perverted, depraved mind.

 

He was determined to successfully resist his captor's next assault, no matter if he ended up physically wounded or not. If he didn't draw that line now, Raito would leave him nothing to stand on. The brunette was power-hungry, dominating, possessive and controlling. It shouldn't have surprised him that those qualities would extend into the sexual realm. Anything useful would be exploited. And he was very aware that his own vulnerability was human interaction and touch, and that his 'friend' was quite aware of it, as well. That was the reason for their sexual encounters, he was certain.

 

More and more, the word 'friend' sounded like a mockery to him. He wouldn't allow Raito to 'make nice' in order to get close to him anymore.

 

Raito slowly pulled L forward off of the bed, helping him to stand. “What's the matter with you, Ryuuzaki?” Gentle fingers brushed L's cheek.

 

He shuddered slightly, bringing his own hand up to wipe away the feeling of that touch. That touch reminded him of Raito in his mouth, Raito's voice murmuring for his capitulation. The weighty look of lust and hunger in those eyes.

 

L pulled out of Raito's bracing hold and walked away, heading out into the living room to wait for his companion. He couldn't stand being in that bedroom anymore. It was full of his own weakness, filled with humiliation.

 

He sat down on the couch, staring thoughtlessly at his feet in order to watch Raito in his peripheral vision. The other boy had followed him out and was in the kitchen now, busily preparing tea.

 

Was this the right way to deal with this situation? While the other boy had been gone, he had been thinking about which strategies he ought to adopt. He knew immediately that he couldn't live with any sort of surrender. Concessions for the ultimate victory, yes, but not surrender. Anyone surrendering to Kira would be completely and utterly taken over, consumed within moments.

 

Because he had been surprised previously, Raito had been able to take advantage of him. If he refused to let his guard lapse, that wouldn't happen, as their strength was about equal. He could do this. In fact, compared to some of the things he'd accomplished, this ought to be a simple matter. He'd been thrown off balance in the beginning, but that wouldn't happen again.

 

Raito brought the tray out and set it down in the middle of the coffee table, sinking almost gratefully to his knees before it. The brunette silently prepared L's tea, never raising his eyes for a moment until it was time to offer the tea, and then it was only in the briefest flash of dark amber before that gaze was refocused upon the wall.

 

L was surprised to note that the other boy looked exhausted. He hadn't noticed it during their confrontation, but it was apparent to him now.

 

“Ah, Ryuuzaki. I have no idea why my family has begun to look to me for stability. It isn't as if my father is absent. It's more like they no longer consider him to be involved, someone to be relied upon. Perhaps if he were still on the task force, he wouldn't be like that, but ever since his health began to deteriorate...”

 

L blinked, having no other response.

 

“I thought that Sayu was better than this, more clever than this,” Raito continued, frowning down at his untouched tea. “My family is in an uproar over this, and it's such a trite, cliché complication. Sayu is apparently pregnant, and has been too promiscuous to even say who the father might be. Father was completely withdrawn throughout the entire affair. He just sat there smoking his pipe.” His captor sighed, taking a sip of his tea at last.

 

L unconsciously stroked the smooth side of his teacup with hesitant fingers, feeling a faint but compelling pressure in his mind. As if there were something that he ought to do in this situation. “What do they expect you to do about it?” he offered at last.

 

Flat amber eyes rose to meet his. “Provide a positive role-model, I suppose. Which is quite amusing. Not only am I a boy, but if Sayu failed to heed the example that her parents set for her, what am I supposed to do?”

 

“Your parents,” he corrected Raito absently.

 

The brunette gave him a perplexed look. “Yes, right, my parents,” came the exasperated confirmation.

 

L wondered if Raito purposefully distanced himself from his family to escape being emotionally bound to them.

 

gRegardless, it's ridiculous that I should be called over to discuss such an idiotic matter with her. She knows that the entire family disapproves. She knows that that's the way a whore would behave. So what else could we possibly say to her?” Raito recaptured his teacup in deft fingers, taking another bracing sip.

 

Idly watching the way his captor's hair feathered as his head tilted downward, L couldn't help but be somewhat amused at Raito's high-handed moral stance in regard to Sayu when Raito himself was behaving no better.

 

“What are you smirking about?” the other boy snapped, glaring at him briefly before going back to sipping his tea.

 

How did he know I was...? “I was just in agreement with you over the absurdity of the situation, Raito,” L replied smoothly, hunching slightly over his own tea as he cupped it in his pale hands.

 

L could feel the suspicion of those amber eyes burning over him like hot needles. He focused all of his attention on peering into the tea and watching fragments of tea leaves drifting about. “Raito, did you know that you can read your fortune in the tea leaves after--”

 

“Ryuuzaki.” Raito's tone was cutting. “Spare me. Do not say stupid things to me about fortune-telling.”

 

“Raito is cruel and impolite,” L muttered sulkily. But internally, he was even more amused at having successfully provoked the brunette.

 

“The same applies to you,” Raito replied airily. “Now shut up and listen when I'm speaking to you.” The airy tone had been exchanged for one of steel.

 

“Yes, Raito. Whatever you want.” L made his eyes wide and innocent as if he had not just taken a mocking tone with his companion.

 

Without warning, Kira's predatory eyes flared back at him. “Oh, really? Whatever I want?”

 

MISSTEP. L felt his fingers spasm and clench even more tightly around his teacup. He hadn't meant it that way. Yet if he protested, it would be encouraging Raito/Kira. If he agreed, the same. Struggling to remain motionless, he stared back into those hellish eyes blankly. He realized that he was holding his breath. That was no good.

 

The leer slowly expanded across Kira's face, and L felt his own face flush in response to that familiar look. He had to do something, and quickly. A dozen options flashed through his mind, and he opted for the simplest and most direct one. He fumbled with his teacup and allowed it to crash to the table, splashing the rest of his still hot tea across the table and into Raito's lap.

 

Raito leapt up immediately, enraged. “God DAMN it, Ryuuzaki! What is wrong with you--” Raito interrupted himself by fleeing to the bedroom, apparently intent on immediately removing his wet slacks.

 

L allowed himself to smirk. He could hear the muffled cursing from the bedroom. If that didn't distract the other boy from assaulting him, nothing could.

 

The brunette re-emerged clothed in a robe, looking even more weary than before. He spared an eloquent glare for L before detouring to the kitchen for something to mop up the rest of the spilled tea.

 

“You know, Ryuuzaki, sometimes you're more trouble than you're worth,” Raito remarked icily, returning with paper towels. He set to wiping up the tea on the table, not deigning to meet L's eyes.

 

“Why did you bother to kidnap me then, Raito?”

 

“Because you're more troublesome when you're loose, obviously,” his captor growled.

 

“So why didn't you poison my tea instead of merely drugging it?” L pressed, becoming more disturbed by the moment. Why did Raito keep him like this?

 

“Because I knew this would be more entertaining,” Kira replied with a sneaking, creepy smile, eyes meeting his at last.

 

“Really,” L said blandly, struggling to maintain his composure. “This is your idea of fun.”

 

The smile widened. “Yes.”

 

“Hm. I find chess more entertaining. Where is that portable chessboard of yours, anyway? The one you used to bring to headquarters sometimes?” His reply was level enough, but inside he was beginning to panic. Was there no way to regain control of this situation?

 

 

 

 

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Raito was fighting to contain himself, but he couldn't help smiling when he saw the precious stress lines appear around L's eyes, the flicker of disquiet in their depths.

 

I know what you're afraid of, L. Don't worry, I'll be fulfilling your fears shortly.

 

He didn't respond to the chess remark, which seemed to perturb L even more. A few tense moments passed between them, cracking like stressed glass.

 

“How is Misa?” L asked suddenly and incongruously, making another stab at conversation.

 

He blinked slowly. “Frustrated, apparently. She keeps trying to undress me and I keep saying no.”

 

L made a noncommittal noise and glanced away, frowning slightly.

 

“You like her, don't you? I could tell her to go on a date with you, Ryuuzaki, and she would do it. Would you like that? Is that what you want?” His smile was cruel and mocking.

 

The dark head bowed opposite his lifted slowly, and dark eyes glared at him reproachfully. “No, that is not what I want, Yagami-san.”

 

Raito felt his jaw lock. Despite his lack of conscience, L's disapproval bit into him oddly. “Chess it is, then,” he finally managed to say shortly. He retrieved the portable chessboard from its storage place under the couch and set up the board and pieces between he and L quite methodically. As he did so, he felt his robe slipping down off of his shoulders, but did not trouble himself to fix it. He had caught the end of a stare or two recently, and showing L some skin in an innocent fashion could only work for him.

 

As they played in relative silence, he contemplated the problem of the shinigami. Rem was beyond his current ability to do anything about at the moment. As for Ryuk, he would likely have to offer Ryuk something, at least. The only way to live as long as he intended might very well be to give up the Death Note and achieve power in some other, more difficult way. Much as the idea galled him, the Death Note was now more of a hindrance than anything else.

 

But simply giving up the Death Note wouldn't be enough to satisfy Ryuk. He had to offer life, and not all of his own. He did not think that he would be able to escape having to offer at least a portion of his own life. It was also possible that he would have to offer someone else's life as well in order to rid himself of the shinigami and Death Note entanglement.

 

He raised his eyes to contemplate L, who remained unaware of his scrutiny. As L chewed on his thumb thoughtfully, his free hand hovering over the pieces, Raito's mind did much the same over L.

 

He could offer a portion of L's life to Ryuk as well. Would Ryuk accept that? For that matter, he could tell the shinigami to take them both at the same time, whenever that time might be. After all, why would L need or want to live on without a worthy adversary and companion? It would even be for the best. He could not leave L behind, withering, aging and lonely after he had died, leaving his own legend behind in the world.

 

Don't worry, L, I'll have him take us together. He felt a welling of friendship? and satisfaction at the thought. It was a squeezing ache in his chest.

 

Feeling much relieved, he bent his attention back to the chess pieces before him, feeling the muscles of his shoulders begin to relax.

 

The game went on for at least another hour, and Raito thought it a good sign that L was smiling his strange little smile occasionally towards the end.

 

“I'm about to conquer you,” L teased, looking like a pleased child. The dark, wide eyes lingered briefly over Raito's exposed flesh.

 

Raito merely smiled back, not minding his imminent loss. After all, he would not lose the more entertaining and intriguing game that would be taking place shortly after this one concluded. The heat coursing through his body had made up his mind quite thoroughly at least thirty minutes ago. L's wrists, throat and mouth had begun to look unbearably delicious to him.

 

Do you like what you see, L? He had become quite certain this evening that the detective did, in all actuality, desire him.

 

It seemed mysterious to him at first, but after a moment's thought, it was not so surprising. After all, wasn't he the only person that had ever gotten this close to the other boy? The only person that had touched that pale, nearly anorexic body? Of course L would desire him. He was also quite aware of how attractive he was. That, combined with being the only known person to match L's intellect, made him the only choice.

 

He had made a show of yawning periodically once he had come to his decision, so when he announced that he was tired and ready for bed, L did not look the least bit suspicious.

 

“Come, Ryuuzaki. Let's get ready for bed.”

 

They both rose and went through their nightly routine, Raito trying to remain calm and lethargic throughout the entire excruciating process. When all the preparations had been made, L glanced between their two beds, looked at Raito briefly, then cautiously sat down on his own bed.

 

“Yes, I'd also prefer sleeping in our separate beds,” he affirmed casually, as if perfectly content to allow L that freedom from him. “It really is tiresome to share the same bed. But I still have to cuff you so that you don't kill me in the night.” Raito tried to look stern and distrustful as he produced the handcuffs from his robe, leaning down to put them on L.

 

L peered up at him closely, abyssal eyes probing for anything dangerous in his expression. Apparently they found nothing, for L allowed one wrist to be cuffed and only pulled back when Raito went for the other. “But can't I have one hand free?” the detective asked anxiously.

 

Raito pretended to consider, but lunged forward and managed to enslave the other hand, the chain looped around a bar of the headboard, as always. L struggled wildly against him for a moment until he realized that the damage was already done.

 

“ What is this for? What is this for?” his captive asked frantically, jerking against the chain and staring up at Raito with an expression that was nearly naked panic.

 

He wrapped his arms about L and bore him the rest of the way down to the bed, inhaling the scent of his prey with relish. Soon he would possess this body as much as was possible. “Hush, Ryuuzaki, don't be so frightened,” he crooned slyly, seeking the heat of the other boy's throat. “I saw you looking at me. You find me attractive. This is only natural. You should welcome it.”

 

It also served the purpose of punishing L for his insolence. He wasn't going to be as gentle as he ought to be. The thought of hurting the detective and taking him over against his conscious will made Raito's blood burn with joy and passion.

 

L turned his head away from the kisses helplessly, making little choking noises of distress as his throat worked.

 

“Oh, no. No,” Raito soothed, gently stroking L's cheek as he smiled sharply. “What are you thinking in that brilliant mind of yours?” He allowed his thumb to trail over that trembling bottom lip, his mouth following. As his tongue slid past Ryuuzaki's lips and opened his captive's mouth wider to accommodate him, he thought in the back of his mind that it felt like coming home. He had missed the deep, decadent warmth of this mouth.

 

How can he seem so alluring and desirable to me when he's only a frightened, skinny intellectual? Raito thought perplexedly, brows creasing as his desire surged almost uncontrollably.

 

L's eyes were firmly closed.

 

“Look at me,” he murmured, steadily working the other boy's jeans open distractedly as he kept his eyes on that closed, distressed face.

 

Warned by the twitch of one of L's facial muscles, he was prepared when his captive tried to knee him in the side. He blocked, then bit the side of that pale throat very hard. L cried out in pain, jerking violently against the cuffs.

 

“That's your reward when you're spiteful and uncooperative,” Raito said calmly, free hand locking and tightening around L's throat to make his point. A full set of teethmarks was obvious where he had bitten the dark-haired boy.

 

Resentful dark eyes glared up at him now, fixed and angry.

 

“ Oohh, I don't believe I've ever seen this side of you before, darling. It turns me on even more.” He grinned, eyes widening with excitement at the emotion the object of his desire was unable to conceal.

 

He dragged off the annoying jeans and underwear, leaving L only in his long-sleeved shirt. Contrary to whatever else the detective might be feeling, he was also obviously interested in what they were about to do.

 

“ Stop staring, you--” L's breath hissed out in restrained anger, swallowing whatever he had been about to say.

 

He flipped the other boy over with brute strength, pushing him forcefully down into the bed. L grunted in pain as Raito's elbow ground into his back, which Raito used to distract him as he leaned over to quickly grab the lubricant from the night table drawer.

 

“ Fuck...Yagami...” L ground out, struggling for leverage.

 

“Oh, don't worry, I will,” he replied contemptuously. “And you'll beg for it.”

 

L struggled even more energetically at that, but Raito forced his legs apart, making sure to pin them with his own as much as possible.

 

“You are such an irritant to me, L,” he breathed, trying not to sound as if he were panting in excitement as he squeezed some lubricant out onto his fingers - which he was. All he could think about was dominating that body, at long last. And thus L's soul.

 

L flinched and gasped as Raito slowly slid one finger into him, setting up a gradual rhythm. “Stop, stop,” L grated out desperately, frozen.

 

“Hmm,” he responded thoughtfully, biting his lip as he stared at the erotic sight of L's exposed sex and extreme vulnerability. And his penetration of that vulnerability.

 

He added another finger and L's hands were clenched around the bars of the headboard, knuckles white. “Don't!” the other boy pled hoarsely, body trembling.

 

“That just makes me want to do it more,” he whispered back, leaning forward to kiss L's lower back. “You should know that.” He sank his teeth into the pale flesh of one buttock, fingers never ceasing their slow invasion and violation of the person he liked the best.

 

The detective made a startled sound and jerked, but was unable to do anything more than make the occasional small urgent sound.

 

He ran his tongue lightly over the skin that he had just bitten; a mockery of soothing. And added a third finger.

 

“Please , Raito!” L gasped out. “Please. What do you want? What do you want? What can I do to change your mind? I can...I can do what we did last time again. Just not this.” The other boy's voice was ragged and completely without pretense. Raw.

 

He closed his eyes in pleasure, body aching even more with his need. It was almost better than sex. Almost. Only...he knew that sex would bring even more delightful noises from L.

 

“Unfortunately for you, I only want to be inside of you right now.” He watched as his captive's head turned to the side where it lay on the pillow, mouth open to allow harsh breathing. That dark eye regarded him mutely through jags of bangs, wide and unreadable.

 

Raito slowly untied his robe with his free hand, still working L with the other, and allowed the fabric to fall.

 

 

 

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L had never known complete despair until this moment. He had never truly believed that Raito would actually rape him. But it seemed he had underestimated his captor yet again. These were probably Kira's fingers that filled him unbearably, and yet every so often brushed a pleasant, intense place within him. It was a pleasure he didn't want.

 

He watched as Raito's beautiful body was exposed, proud and full of desire. Those eyes were locked on him, aware of his gaze.

 

The fingers withdrew and he heard the snap of the lubricant being opened and closed, and then faint wet sounds as his captor prepared himself.

 

“Don't do it,” he whispered one last time, closing his eyes tightly.

 

Raito's only answer was low, husky laughter.

 

L swallowed as he felt firm hands grip his hips and draw him up, one slipping around in front to stroke him with almost painful force. He bit the pillow, grinding it in his teeth. He would not moan. He would not give Kira any satisfaction.

 

He felt a slow, increasing pressure at his entrance as Raito pushed forward. The other hand distracted him somewhat, but not enough to keep him from flinching at the sudden pain of being stretched beyond his capacity, the sudden and unpleasant strangeness at being inevitably filled with more and more of the devil, the beautiful devil that unmanned him and dehumanized him.

 

L felt a groan begin deep in his chest and work its way up his throat until it was audible as Raito completed penetrating him, body resting flush against his. He was dimly aware of the brunette gasping and murmuring his false name, fingers of the bracing hand biting harshly into his hip.

 

He would not say that it hurt. It would make no difference.

 

Raito suddenly drew back and thrust into him forcefully, making him cry out loudly in pain and slight pleasure. “Are you thinking you're going to keep your stoic silence, L? You're not. I won't allow it.” That voice was cruel and taunting, but so beautiful. Liquid and heavy, like honey.

 

L shut his eyes more tightly in misery. His shoulders were feeling pulled and painful since he could not properly get his elbows beneath him to support himself, and his body burned like fire as Raito pummeled it heedlessly.

 

As he endured, a disturbing thing happened. Intense and sickening pleasure gradually replaced some of the pain, making it impossible for him to remain silent. Every time Raito thrust into him, he had to suppress a cry of pleasure. He began to anticipate the penetration, to crave it.

 

L was utterly horrified. He tried to chase down the feeling of pain, focus on it, but his awareness instead fixated on the hand that stroked him so determinedly and almost brutally, lubricated fingers greedy and too clever.

 

He was breathing so hard that the sound dominated the room, only punctuated by the other boy's gasps and cries. The sound of their breathing mingled together in between.

 

Why did you have to do it this way? he thought violently at Raito.

 

“You feel so good,” his captor gasped harshly into his ear, pace increasing.

 

L cringed at the jolt of pleasure that cut through him at that, both at the voice in his ear and the sentiments. He didn't want to admit it, but hearing Raito so overcome and unscripted was going to put him over the edge. And the filthy, secret part of him that welcomed the invasion by Kira made no small contribution.

 

He cried out and his body spasmed, the final waves of pleasure so violent and intense that they were almost painful. The blaze choked him. As the proof of his pleasure filled Raito's lovely hand, he knew a black and desperate self-hatred. He couldn't help but hate his once-imagined friend, as well.

 

If he were only able to lie limp like a boring doll and offer Raito no reward, no provocation. But it was impossible. He had to react to the other boy, because he...because he just couldn't help it.

 

L cried out in startlement and pain as Raito's teeth clamped down on the flesh between neck and shoulder, driving into him with a flurry of thrusts so forceful that he had to resist being pushed into the headboard.

 

Raito's cries rose loud and strident, embarrassing and arousing to hear.

 

He felt himself actually blushing and wished that he could cover his ears or get away from this carnal, lustful, sexual and tempting devil in the shape of a boy. He'd had no idea that the brunette could be so vocal.

 

Finally, the other boy collapsed on him, skin damp and burning, drained of all energy and sexual drive. “Beautiful,” Raito whispered against the back of his neck.

 

“What?” L asked tremulously, still shaken.

 

“ I could get used to doing this,” his captor murmured, hands languidly stroking over L's sides and the backs of his thighs. Possessively, even.

 

He felt a chill course through him, and it wasn't solely because of Raito's ministrations. The threat of this happening again filled him with terror. He couldn't allow it to happen again. No matter how guarded he was, it did him no good against the brunette.

 

Raito slowly rose and went to the bathroom to clean up, leaving L alone to take stock of his traitorous, throbbing body and contemplate the horror of satisfying the other boy in the same fashion again.