Death Note Fan Fiction ❯ Brilliance Tarnished ❯ Inside Out ( Chapter 6 )

A/N: Sorry, guys. Life keeps getting in the way! And I went to the AWA convention this past weekend and was tied up with that. Was anyone there? I cosplayed 'informal' Raito (no jacket) and was handcuffed to my very own L! But only for a bit...con staff thought handcuffs were dangerous. :I There was one other Raito and L pair with handcuffs, but theirs had the long chain and ours the short.

 

 

 

Raito sighed as he dragged himself up the stairs to the apartment. He judged that he had given L plenty of time to calm down - and to be desperate with hunger.

 

He'd barely slept at all last night between concern for his captive and Misa's annoying presence pressing in upon him. It would be a relief to settle things with the detective, to coax him back into submission. A lighter touch was needed - that much was obvious. He cursed himself for misjudging and exerting too much pressure.

 

As a peace offering, he had purchased a cake on his way home. Raito smiled slightly as he imagined L's delighted response. He pulled his key out with his free hand, lifting his head to look at the door of his temporary apartment - and froze.

 

There was a notice taped to the door, and the deadbolt he had installed had been removed, leaving only the usual lock that the apartment complex had a key for. The notice read:

 

EVICTION NOTICE

 

Dear Mr. Takano,

 

We had to enter your apartment to repair a leak in the bathroom and found it necessary to remove your deadbolt (installed without authorization) in order to gain access to make the repair. The installation of the deadbolt goes against the terms agreed upon in your lease, as do the other modifications that have been made to the apartment.

 

We regret to inform you that we must evict you from your apartment due to your violation of the lease. Modifications to the apartment are strictly forbidden (please reference page 2, paragraph 5 of your lease). You will also be billed for the repairs--

 

Raito felt the handle of the cake box slip from his nerveless fingers. "Fuck!" he snarled with a complete lack of eloquence, jamming his key into the door and twisting it. He wrenched the door open and rushed in, looking frantically for any sign of L. "Ryuuzaki? Ryuuzaki!" There was no answer.

 

He searched every room of the apartment to no avail. L was gone. Raito clutched his head in both hands, hands tightening into fists in his hair as the implications raced through his mind. He was dead. Dead.

 

He took several deep breaths, trying to calm down. Now was not the time to linger. The apartment maintenance staff could come back at any time, and he had no intention of paying for repairs, nor allowing them the chance to determine that he was not who he said he was.

 

Raito set to wiping down all the surfaces in the apartment that could possibly take fingerprints, then gathered the few personal articles that remained - primarily in the form of clothing - and threw them into a garbage bag. He hesitated in the kitchen when he encountered their teacups and the tea tray in the cabinet, then decided to wrap them in clothing and toss them into the garbage bag as well.

 

Why am I bothering with such ridiculous things? Raito thought in annoyance, perturbed that he would bother with something so trivial. There were always new teacups and tea trays to be had. It didn't matter that he had found those and purchased them on a whim, smirking in amusement as he imagined L's dismay when he said that they had been chosen specifically with the dark-haired boy in mind.

 

With a deep sigh of disgust, Raito made haste out of the apartment, secure in the knowledge that there was nothing incriminating left behind. He was confronted with the cake sitting on the landing outside where he had dropped it earlier. With a scowl and another curse, he opened the door again and kicked the cake box into the apartment. That accomplished, he set off down the stairs purposefully, but took care not to appear too hurried. It wouldn't do for someone to see him and take note of him, even if he didn't usually frequent this part of town for anything other than the apartment where he kept L confined.

 

L, L, L. What was the detective up to?

 

An even more pressing thought - what was he to do with the clothing he had for L in the garbage bag? Better to discard it in an anonymous dumpster somewhere? Burn it? Or would it be harmless enough to box it up and leave it in the closet in his own apartment? After all, what could anyone say? That Raito had some clothing that looked suspiciously like the sort of clothing that L would wear? And so? He couldn't foresee an issue.

 

But the most pressing thought of all was what L would do now. The other boy would surely take action against him.

 

Raito entertained fleeting thoughts of melting away into another city, disappearing and leaving 'Yagami Raito' behind here. But the thought quickly disintegrated when he imagined a lifetime of trying to evade the greatest detective in the world - a lifetime of boredom without being able to speak to the only person he'd ever known who was on his level.

 

What kind of god was he if he couldn't best L on his own ground? He would have to face this situation and overcome it. Surely he could turn it to his own advantage if he only had the chance. But that depended on L's next move. If the detective outed him as Kira, his life would be over very shortly.

 

He glanced around casually to gauge the responses of the occasional passersby, but no one gave him much of a glance. He couldn't very well go much further carrying a garbage bag, however. He spotted what looked to be a small shipping store and crossed the street, entering the store and placing his trash bag on the counter.

 

The young man behind the counter eyed him with surprise. "Wow, what have you got there?"

 

Raito laughed self-deprecatingly, running his fingers through his immaculate hair and touseling it. "Need to send some clothes back to my cousin. He doesn't live that far away, but be damned if I'm going to drag his mess through public transport and god knows what else. I've called him sooo many times, but the good-for-nothing refuses to come and pick this stuff up." He smiled engagingly, widening his eyes to look more innocent.

 

The clerk laughed, dragging out a collapsed box of suitable proportions and setting it up with a few well-placed strips of tape. "Yeah, man, I hear you. Just fill out one of those forms there with his address and we'll get it going."

 

"Thanks a lot." Raito hurriedly wrote his own address, affecting the alternate handwriting style he had practiced, and gave it to the man. After paying in cash, he was back out on the street and on his way home.

 

He would get cleaned up, and then he would go to headquarters to face L.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Fingers slid up the back of his neck, burying themselves in his dark hair before clenching forcefully and dragging his head back. He struggled, but it was hopeless. Lips descended upon his bared throat anyway, and he felt them curving into a taunting, wicked smirk against his desperate skin.

 

"Raito," L gasped, pulling against the silken knots that bound his wrists and kept his hands out of the way above his head.

 

As seductive lips learned the arch of his neck and the lines of his collarbones, a naked body undulated sinuously against his, sliding against him in places he preferred to keep clothed and hidden. He shuddered in response, biting the inside of his cheek in an attempt to maintain control.

 

"L...I don't want to learn your name anymore," Raito murmured against his shoulder, hand sliding down the smooth plane of L's stomach.

 

The heat of that hand was a trail of greater warmth against his rapidly heating flesh. "Ah..." he answered, trying to drag his attention from Raito's hands upon his body in order to process the words. "What?" he asked intently when it clicked. "What do you mean?"

 

"I don't...want to be Kira anymore," Raito whispered, teasing the now hypersensitive flesh between L's thighs. The brunette slid a slick finger just the slightest bit into him. Withdrawing. Sliding in a little further.

 

"Raito...don't...nngh..." L twisted his wrists repeatedly, trying to control himself against the sweet disaster of his desire and aching helplessness. He could feel the passion building, tightening, constricting his throat as the finger continued its cruel teasing of his body. He wanted--

 

L awoke with a gasp, staring eyes focusing on the screen before him. He had apparently fallen asleep in his chair while watching the task force at work via the multiple cameras installed in the room they called headquarters. But the only feed he was currently watching was the one fixed upon Yagami Raito, zoomed in upon the other boy's face.

 

Raito. Just seeing his supposed friend's face sent a pang through his aching body, and he was suddenly and painfully aware of his need. Need caused by a disgusting and pathetic dream. Although he did not sleep that often when he was not with Raito, he was now afraid to sleep at all for fear of the dreams that had plagued him since escaping his imprisonment 3 days ago.

 

He had not shown himself to anyone but Watari yet. He wasn't ready to face anyone else yet. He was also still trying to decide on the best course of action regarding Raito. Part of him sincerely wanted to reveal the other boy as Kira, despite the fact that the humiliating kidnapping would come out. But the rest of him was well aware that such an action would condemn Raito to death with Kira, thus depriving him of his only...friend. Raito deserved it. It was only right. The brunette had killed countless people, and was definitely mentally unstable.

 

But...there was no one like Raito. No one. The grief ghosted through him again, and he pushed it away impatiently. Death or tolerance. Those were his only two choices. Getting emotional about it would be useless and stupid. It was difficult not to feel something with that dream still so fresh, with his body throbbing, longing for Raito to--

 

GOD. L closed his eyes tightly, rubbing them. Bodies and emotions were treacherous. Thus why he had never bothered with them before he had been tricked and drawn into the tar pit known as human interaction. His sterile environment, so essential to perfect thought processes, was destroyed, utterly contaminated. Hormones clouded and choked the proper functioning of his brain.

 

Why didn't Raito suffer from such a handicap? How did the other boy do it? Those honey-amber eyes were staring quite intently at the screen, fingers moving to type periodically. Focused. Not the least bit distracted or tormented.

 

Of course not. Of course not. Raito was a perfect killer. Cool, calm, collected and rational almost all the time. Unless Raito was in the midst of one of his flash rages. But he seemed the only person capable of provoking Raito into one of those.

 

It rankled that Kira could maintain a more professional attitude than he himself could at this point. The dreams were so disturbing and confusing. They almost made him miss being in captivity - which was sick, just sick. Was he suffering from Stockholm Syndrome?

 

L opened his eyes again, switching off the monitor. Staring at Raito's face for hours at a time wasn't helping him analyze anything - and wasn't helping his state of mind, either. He slowly uncurled from his computer chair, getting to his feet to stretch. His arousal reminded him of its presence with a random throb and he sighed. He would have to take care of it before he could focus on anything else. Which was usually best accomplished by staring at a blank wall while he did so, focusing on said wall with all of his considerable will. Otherwise he began to remember dreams, experiences...and heard the echo of Raito's voice taunting him and coaxing him. Crooning obscene things to him.

 

He turned, weaving his way around the bed in the small room, and reluctantly made his way into the bathroom, shutting the door.

 

 

 

 

 

 

L tore into his donut half-heartedly, and noted with dismay that he'd barely made a dent in the plate of sweets that Watari had brought to him a few hours ago. Since his captivity, he hadn't had much desire for sweets anymore. Every time he began to crave, he was reminded of how treats had been Raito's reward to him when he had 'behaved' himself.

 

It had now been six days since his captivity had ended, and yet he had delayed making his reappearance. That would probably end today, as there was nothing further to gain from continuing his...surveillance.

 

L's eyes widened as Matsuda appeared behind Raito's right shoulder, and the detective leaned closer to the screen. The two had a brief exchange, Raito smiling winningly up at Matsuda, Matsuda lightly laying a hand on Raito's shoulder. A cup of tea was deposited in front of the brunette.

 

That was the other reason he had to re-emerge. To protect that idiot Matsuda from himself. Not that he cared overmuch for Matsuda's safety, but he was damned if he'd allow Raito to have his way with yet another person. He wouldn't allow the sadistic pervert that satisfaction. It was time to scare Raito with his appearance, to take the other boy off balance with the fear of L's knowledge and ability to ruin him.

 

He had come to the conclusion that Raito was too precious a resource to destroy, and the only way to keep Raito alive was by restricting him and controlling him. Carefully. It could be managed, but only by himself. But would he be able to face that smirk without shaking and having flashbacks? He would have to.

 

L finished his donut hurriedly, giving the dessert plate a sad look before leaving his private room. The room headquarters was based in was just around the corner.

 

Raito had even ruined his love of sugar, and for that he owed the other boy. He was going to make certain he caused as much discomfort as possible. He stood before the door with his fingers poised at the keypad, bracing himself. He had to remember what his continued surveillance had revealed from the fourth day onward. That his former captor was just as nervous as he was. He had seen the evidence of it in Raito's surreptitious glances at the door several times a day, at the dark smudges slowly appearing under the burnt amber eyes, even though an attempt had been made to mask them with what he presumed was foundation or powder. Raito was being worn down, too.

 

L took a deep breath and punched in the code to open the door, wandering into the room as if he hadn't been gone at all. The task force members noticed him one by one, gasping and getting to their feet, looking at him with hopeful eyes. Raito's back was to him, but slowly his liar of a friend began to turn.

 

"L!" Matsuda exclaimed, sounding both relieved and disappointed.

 

At that, Raito whipped the rest of the way around, eyes widening as they fixed on his. The surprise was quickly suppressed. He held the brunette's gaze for a tense moment, then scratched his head, glancing around casually. "Yes. I am afraid that my lead went cold, and I was unable to capture Kira." He met Raito's eyes again. "However, I'm very close to doing so, and he will be defeated very shortly."

 

Matsuda glanced between L and Raito, expression puzzled - likely at the focused intensity burning between them like a laser beam. It seemed to galvanize Raito out of his staring.

 

"Ah, Ryuu...zaki! We were so worried about you. Thank goodness you're safe, but that's a shame about Kira."

 

"Indeed," he replied flatly, shifting from one bare foot to the other. "Why don't you get me some tea, Raito...kun?" He had managed to tag the 'kun' on just in time, but the long pause made it sound immensely awkward. He struggled to prevent his embarrassment from burning his face.

 

Raito smiled with a touch of aggression, Kira sliding through his eyes briefly. "Of course, Ryuu-chan."

 

Matsuda gaped indignantly. "But...why should Yagami-kun have to do that? Can't you get your own, or have Watari--"

 

The brunette held up a hand and shook his head. "It's no trouble, Matsuda. In fact, it would be my pleasure." Those eyes touched his face briefly, a courteous smile upon Raito's lips. But those eyes...gleamed with a suppressed amusement. Amusement at his expense.

 

This would be more challenging than he had initially supposed. But that should only be expected from someone who was his equal. He waved his hand at Raito dismissively and settled into a chair halfway across the room, ignoring Matsuda's surprised look. He was not about to sit anywhere near his former captor as he once would have. The more distance, the better.

 

Was it safe to allow the other boy to touch his food, his beverages? He felt a pang of panic, which he forcibly suppressed. Raito wasn't stupid. He wouldn't do something like that in headquarters. There were too many people coming and going, too many cameras.

 

From the corner of his eye, L caught Matsuda speaking to Raito again, leaning in very close. He suffered the same sharp jag of irritation that he always did when he saw that buffoon courting his former captor. Matsuda didn't have the right, was nowhere near being on their plane of existence and intellectual ability. What do I care if he gets kidnapped and molested? L thought churlishly, forcing his eyes back to his computer screen.

 

It nagged at the back of his neck, prickling and irritating him. He almost jumped when a teacup was set before him by a well-formed, perfectly manicured hand. "There you are, Ryuu," an all-too-familiar voice murmured intimately, far too close to his ear.

 

L reacted without thinking, reaching up and back to grab the neck of Raito's dress shirt. "I expect you to treat me with respect and restraint, Yagami," he replied softly, tone threatening. "Your little power-trip is over, and you'd best learn your place immediately or I'll be forced to take action and do something...unfortunate." He waited for a moment for any response, Raito's warmth and pleasing scent beginning to filter into his awareness. Hold, hold. Don't show any weakness.

 

"As you say," Raito said quietly, gently uncurling L's fingers from his shirt before straightening and going back to his chair as if nothing unusual had occurred.

 

He swallowed discreetly, trying to work the tense and anxious feeling from his throat. His mouth had gone dry, too. This wasn't good enough. There had to be some way to demonstrate to Raito that L was the one in control now. He rubbed the fingers that those corrupting hands had touched, trying to erase the feeling of the other boy from his flesh.

 

If I believed in therapy, I'd be there right now, L thought, disgruntled.

 

If he were clever, he would encourage the disturbing interaction between Raito and Matsuda. It would keep the brunette distracted and out of trouble, making controlling him a more manageable goal. Such a dangerous person. The perfect Kira.

 

For the first time in his life, he regretted taking a case. L slouched more deeply into his chair. It was obvious that he would have to set up a private meeting with Raito to lay down the ground rules.

 

There had to be a way that he could work this to his advantage.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Raito ground his teeth, typing fiercely as he composed a plausible-sounding report on Kira statistics.

 

This dangerous situation with L was going to be the end of him. There had to be a way that he could work things to his advantage!

 

He had been anxious for a week, wondering what on earth L was up to, wondering when the police would come to arrest him. He had barely been eating or sleeping. On top of that major concern, he had also been plagued by thoughts of how badly L might be damaged. He had only wanted to crack him a little, after all. Just enough to get inside...

 

L's hot, melting inside.

 

Raito took a deep breath, disturbed at the shock of heat that tore through him when he recalled the intimacies that he had forced upon the detective. When L had pulled him down just a moment ago, and he'd been so close to that pale neck, inhaling the scent of the other boy's choppy, feathery hair...he had almost forgotten where he was. He had been able to smell the vulnerability just beneath the calm, cool surface.

 

Why did it give him so much pleasure to lose himself in sexuality with such an odd creature? Before L, he had been certain that he would never experience passion with anyone. Had it simply been the situation? The power?

 

He longed to terrorize L, to corner him, to make him cry out and struggle. It had been too long. He had to do something about this desperate feeling. He would surely make a mistake if things went on this way. He needed to spend the unbearable desire somewhere.

 

Misa? No, he couldn't bear that. He would be ill. Matsuda had been all over him lately, but he wasn't certain that he'd be able to stomach sex with Matsuda, either. He was also certain that a relationship would be presumed if they had sex, and he wanted nothing to do with that. Nothing whatsoever.

 

But it was so entertaining to draw those disapproving looks from L. If only he could bear to take Matsuda.

 

He knew there were establishments that catered to such tastes. Although he kept feeling the need to glance back at L, he refused to succumb to the urge. It was too obvious, and he knew that there were cameras recording their every move twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. As it was he had probably revealed his anxiety of the past week with some careless glance or another.

 

Raito relaxed slightly as he replayed L's behavior in his mind. There were openings, weaknesses. It was not impossible to take advantage of the situation.

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Is Yagami wondering why he's here at this moment?” L asked innocently, sipping his tea as he watched the sullen brunette's face.

 

Raito glanced around the nearly deserted cafe before deigning to answer, remaining perfectly composed on his side of their small corner booth. “That question could be taken any number of ways,” the other boy said neutrally, paling amber eyes wary.

 

No, I do not want Kira to come out right now, L thought firmly. “I think you know what the usual repercussions would be for your breach of conduct. But I'm willing to be generous.”

 

Those fierce eyes narrowed, pinning him with a look not unlike a predator aware that he was being deliberately taunted with something delectable. “Oh?” Raito prompted, impassive tone belying his focused eyes.

 

“Yes. I will permit your continued existence...so long as you accept my terms and obey me. I will be your law.”

 

The brunette's jaw clenched, eyes shifting away briefly before returning to stare into his once again. “Stop dragging this out and say it already.”

 

“First of all, I think you're already aware that you will not be permitted to act against me ever again. You will be under constant surveillance, no matter where you are. If you try to do so, I will take that as rejection of these terms and our agreement will be null and void. Second, you will do everything that I say. Third, you are not to go anywhere without my permission. As with my first condition, the consequence is the same for any violation.”

 

Raito was scowling by the time he finished. “I don't have any choice, do I? I must agree or die.”

 

L shrugged nonchalantly, although he was rather relieved that the other boy had not immediately rejected the conditions. “Essentially. But there's one more issue on which I'll require your compliance.”

 

His former captor stiffened, immediately on the defensive. “What else?”

 

“You'll need to give me my phone back, as well as turning over any Death Note in your possession to me.” L held his breath, waiting.

 

Raito's amber eyes widened, color darkening towards their normal burnt amber. “But...Ryuuzaki, there's a...I have a problem.” Saying the last seemed to gall his companion greatly.

 

“A problem? What do you mean?” He couldn't help that his tone was slightly snappish. What problem could there possibly be?

 

“You're aware of the shinigami. The shinigami of one Note will slay me if I do not make Misa happy, and the other, my shinigami, plans to take my life when I give up his Note. It's part of the bargain.”

 

“Raito! ” he exclaimed angrily, clenching a hand around his teacup. In his helpless anger, he had slipped and used the other boy's first name in a familiar fashion again. But to think that Raito had made such a stupid bargain with a supernatural entity that could not be defeated! The knowledge made anger surge within his usually stoic heart. How the hell am I to save you now, you prideful fool?

 

Raito glared back, leaning forward aggressively. “I was bored! What does it matter?” The brunette raked a hand through his bangs. “Just what was I supposed to do? Put out a personal ad? 'One genius seeks another for companionship. Very bored. Please come soon.' Yes, I'm certain that would have worked so well.” His friend sneered at him, leaned back, and crossed his arms.

 

L felt oddly touched. Raito had desired companionship? Could he believe that? But Raito's bitter jest struck home. If not for the Kira investigation, he and Raito would never have met each other.

 

But the shinigami issue. That was not easily solved. “Very well, the fourth condition will be suspended until a solution can be found. Do you accept everything else?”

 

“Why not? Anything is better than death, isn't it?” Kira's eyes were probing his face, trying to get under the skin.

 

“Good. Let's go.” The phrasing did not make him happy. But then, when had he ever expected Raito to do or say anything that would make him happy? There was no chance of that happening.

 

And yet...he couldn't let go.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Raito did his very best to drive L insane in a dozen small ways over the next week.

 

He touched Matsuda unnecessarily just to see the detective hunch over even more, posture tightening with irritation. He made sure to make sensual, stroking motions with his fingers when he placed tea or treats before L. Every chance to press too close, to touch the dark-haired boy, he took, seeking the advantage. His special delight was to watch L's eyes glaze over with desire when their faces were too close. L had even begun gnawing on his fingers excessively when he thought no one was watching.

 

Raito smiled to himself as he recalled. Oral fixation. We'll take care of satisfying that very soon, Ryuu.

 

Very soon, something would give...and it would be in his favor. Would it be today? He had been watching L surreptitiously all afternoon, and the detective seemed incapable of remaining still for any period of time, shifting constantly between one awkward sitting position and the next.

 

L suddenly sighed explosively, breaking Raito out of his musing, and called Watari over. The other task force members paid no mind, but he watched closely as L murmured something into the older man's ear. From Watari's body language as he straightened, the older man did not approve, but he moved off purposefully anyway.

 

Within minutes, Watari was at Raito's side, leaning down to speak softly into his ear. “L will meet you in room 515. The code is 264753. You will go to the specified room in seven minutes, and he will follow sometime thereafter. You are to wait in that room for him.”

 

Raito blinked in surprise, but was excited that something had finally changed. He would no doubt have his opportunity to manipulate the situation to his liking very shortly. As he glanced up, he caught Matsuda watching him with curious eyes. Caught, the young man blushed, but Raito smiled at him meaningfully before turning his gaze back to his computer screen.

 

At seven minutes, he rose and stretched, walking casually towards the door. This had better be interesting, L, he thought at Ryuuzaki's back.

 

 

 

 

 

 

L fidgeted the next five minutes after he had watched Raito leave the room, barely able to stand waiting. Nothing was working out the way he had planned. The whole point of this meeting would be to drive home to Raito just who was in control now. The brunette didn't seem to realize that he no longer held any cards.

 

He lunged to his feet and stalked out of the room, heading purposefully for 515. His shoulders tightened in preparation for the confrontation, and he was aware that there was a distinct possibility that they would come to blows. Their disagreements always seemed to end up being physical.

 

L punched in the code and pushed into the room, glancing around as the door closed behind him. Raito was lounging in the chair in the corner, looking very self-possessed and...sensual. The top two buttons of the other boy's shirt were undone, and his amber eyes were like liquid honey, their gaze coating him with a close and constrictive warmth. It made him feel oddly...threatened. Uncomfortable.

 

Remember, you're in control now. Not Raito.

 

“So what is it this time, Ryuu?” Raito murmured silkily, one graceful hand gesturing vaguely with languid grace. “Shall we have tea?” Watari had indeed set up a tea tray on the table between the two chairs in the room. When he didn't answer, Raito straightened, pouring tea into both cups with a calm, steady hand. Without pausing, he spooned a decent amount of sugar into one of the cups, stirred, and offered it to L.

 

L reached out and took the cup hesitantly, disliking the tone of their meeting even more. “Do not imagine that you will be able to do anything here...Yagami.” He took a quick sip of his tea and backed several steps to put it down on the bedside table, never taking his eyes from the brunette for a moment. He would not make that mistake again.

 

He moved closer until he was looming over Raito, waiting for his arrogant counterpart to set the teacup down. As soon as that was accomplished, he found his hand reaching out to clench in his companion's hair, forcing that head back so that he could see the perfect face. “Don't imagine that you're in control of anything,” he breathed as he leaned down, face very close to that of the other boy.

 

“Will hurting me make you feel stronger?” the brunette asked with a slight smirk, eyes gleaming with barely concealed amusement. Those eyes wandered down to his lips, then lifted to meet his hard gaze again. “I didn't mean to hurt you so much,” Raito whispered, expression twisting with something that approximated sadness or regret. Fingers reached up towards his face, but he jerked away before they could connect.

 

“I don't want your filth touching me,” L ground out raggedly, trying to keep his former captor at arms length. But fine tremors were beginning to work their way through his body. Control, control, control.

 

There was a way to show Raito that he was not allowed to be in control. It was simple. Why hadn't he thought of it? After all, the same technique had been used on him. “I think I'll use you,” he rasped out, giving the other boy a little shake.

 

Raito peered up at him, hands freezing, expression caught somewhere between wary and half contrite.

 

“Do it,” L commanded, seizing one of Raito's uncertain hands and laying it on the fastening of his jeans.

 

The other boy's expression was suddenly haughty and cool. “I don't think--”

 

“Death?” L prompted, fist tightening in the back of Raito's hair warningly.

 

A myriad of expressions flashed across the brunette's face, but none of them were decipherable. “Very well.” Deft fingers opened his jeans easily, pushing them down with his underwear...and then hesitated. “I've never--”

 

L jerked his supposed friend's face close to his semi-arousal. “I had barely kissed anyone before you made me do this. You have nothing to complain about. This is only the slightest bit of what you deserve.”

 

Raito's expression was shuttered and still as the other boy touched his nakedness lightly with cool fingers, branding him. He suppressed the gasp that wanted to escape and remained determinedly stoic, gaze remaining fixed on his partner. As soon as that mouth opened ever so slightly, he took advantage just like his captor had and pushed himself into that wet and welcoming place. His pleasure spiked, surprising him, and he almost moaned before he choked on it.

 

The other boy made a startled sound, trying to move back a bit in response, but he wouldn't allow it. “Take it, Yagami. Didn't you like this so much?” He would enjoy taunting Raito, he knew it.

 

Slowly, that mouth began to draw on him, tongue stroking tentatively. L fought against the almost irresistible urge to close his eyes, and his knees began to shake slightly. Dammit, dammit! I don't know if I can do this.

 

Those eyes glanced up into his, resentful - and then widened slightly at something they saw before filling with a sly satisfaction.

 

What is he looking at?? What has him so pleased?? He frowned down into those eyes, trying to seem completely unaffected - until Raito's mouth suddenly did something unbelievable to him and he gasped, his legs nearly failing to support him. Suddenly the other boy's hands were gripping his hips, and that mouth was consuming him, aggressively working his flesh.

 

L struggled fiercely with his will, feeling that he was steadily losing his internal battle. The pleasure battered him and chopped over the seawall of his control in forceful rushes, destroying his composure. He would not ask Raito to stop! He would...he would...win...

 

CONTROL. He tightened his fist in the brunette's hair again and tried to focus on thrusting into the devil's sweet, silken mouth. It was nearly impossible to maintain the concentration necessary for this. How had Raito...?

 

The onslaught intensified, and he couldn't control his harsh panting, even if he could suppress most of the other sounds that were trying to burst free. He felt Raito move and found himself pushed back against the nearby wall, his former captor on his knees before him. At least it was easier to remain standing this way, but...

 

Before L knew it, the peak of pleasurable torment was upon him, and only the pressure from Raito allowed him to remain standing as his will gave out. His body bowed and shook like a slender limb in a strong storm wind, and he found he had closed his eyes, completely taken by the feelings that were raging through his body. It felt as if his body were about to snap under the strain of Raito's avaricious mouth, giving the other boy all it had. Why did he have to feel this way with this person, of all people?

 

As the waves of his orgasm subsided, he became aware of the possessive fingers digging into his hips, the lips that teased the flesh of his naked thighs. He gathered himself mentally, attempting to regain the steely determination he had felt only minutes before.

 

L suddenly felt clothing sliding against his sensitive flesh and jerked, eyes opening to find his companion standing before him, leaning in to taste and tease the vulnerable skin of his throat, the curve of his neck. “Rai...Yagami, what are you doing? I did not tell you to do this.” He was disappointed to find that he sounded winded rather than firm.

 

“Can't I kiss you at all? It has been such a long time since we did this...” Those heavy-lidded eyes met his, warm and almost affectionate.

 

When he opened his mouth to answer, Raito's lips covered his and drew him into a deep kiss, taking advantage of him before he could blink. L fought against the feeling that he had missed the kisses, the warmth of being touched. The feelings hurt. He didn't want to be taken by them again. Bare flesh suddenly touched his and he broke the kiss, glancing down in surprise.

 

Raito had managed to unfasten his own slacks and push them down, and of course L's were already around his ankles. One of those devious hands was already sliding past his lower back, seeking. It was the other boy's arousal pressed against his own that had alerted him.

 

“No, we're not doing this,” he ground out, pushing his traitorous friend away with a well-placed shove to the chest. “I've concluded my business with you, and have no further use for you at this time.” He quickly drew up his underwear and jeans, straightened his clothing out, then turned to go, ignoring the amazed look on Raito's face.

 

“Ryuuza--”

 

L closed the door in Raito's face and hurried away. He would have to keep in mind some way to restrain the other boy...if he ever needed to do this again. But he didn't want to do it again. He probably wouldn't. It was...disturbing.

 

Hopefully the dreams would stop now that he had faced his demon.