Death Note Fan Fiction ❯ Psych ❯ Yamaguchi ( Chapter 2 )

Psych
Death Note AU
(L/Light or Light/L)

Summary: Sometimes the strangest of happenings, by that merit alone, are the most memorable. Lawliet, a professional who makes his living by understanding the workings of the human mind, finds that a chance meeting throws him a real curve. Yaoi. (As always, it will be of the L and Light variety)

Disclaimer: Please see Chapter 1 for full disclaimer.

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Chapter 2: Yamaguchi

Lawliet sat at his desk, in his big leather office chair, tapping a pen gently against his cheek and wondering if he should get a cat or something. His apartment seemed barren even to him and he didn’t much enjoy coming home to it, though the promise of rest always welcomed him. Perhaps the welcome of a live creature would feel more pleasant.

Though pets did require additional fees to be added to the rent. Not that he couldn’t afford it... but the idea of pet rent did irk him a bit.

Yes, a pet would be reliant on him. It would await his arrival, would seek his presence for companionship. It would provide a reason for him to come home. Not that he wouldn’t anyway.

Ah, yes, but then there is also the burden of responsibility, he reminded himself. You would have to change your schedule to suit its needs.

He couldn’t go out at night, for instance, like last night, not when a cat (or whatever) was at home waiting to be fed, talked to, etc.

A soft rapping came at the door. “Doctor? Your two o’clock is here.”

“Thank you, Sophie.”

And if I can’t go out drinking if I feel the need, how can I possibly entertain my current visits to other psychiatrist offices? The bad ones would surely sit worse than they had before. The good ones would not be enough to maintain the balance, not without alcohol to see him through.

Lawliet was pulled from his distraction as his client entered the room. “Sidney?” he said with surprise, dutifully pushing his rectangular glasses up his nose.

“Hiya, Dr. L,” the man greeted, a smile breaking out on his face as he saw with his own eyes that the man who’d saved his life was indeed himself.

“To what do I owe this visit?” Lawliet asked, leaning forward attentively as Sidney took a seat. “Nothing is wrong, I hope?”

The smile faded a bit and Sidney looked down at his shoes. “I realized something last night, Doc. I’ve--” he glanced up, looking pained. “I’ve been falling off the wagon.”

“Well now,” L said, leaning back in his chair with a frown. “Have you recognized the reasons behind your slip ups? Is there pressure at work? At home? With your kids?”

“No, no, nothing like that.”

Sidney had reached his lowest point during the divorce with his wife. He was a young Australian man who liked to have a good time. Things had fallen apart shortly after his wife had borne their second child. She felt it was time they “grew up” and acted more responsible than their previous partying lifestyle allowed, and he’d had problems making the adjustment. His job had also been causing him problems and that had only been feeding the drinking problem until it was completely out of control. As of the last time they’d spoken, his ex-wife was on cordial speaking terms with him and he regularly visited his children. He’d also been working on changing his career, and he’d been dry for over six months.

“What then?”

“Well,” Sidney said reluctantly, rubbing a hand over his cropped hair as if embarrassed. “It’s the women.”

“Go on.”

“It’s hard to meet people, Doc,” the light-haired man implored. “I’m not a church-going type and there isn’t a bunch of young blood coming in to the company...”

“So you are trying to meet women at bars?”

“And clubs.”

“How is that working for you?”

“Great, actually. But then there is the problem.”

“Which is?”

“They like to drink.”

“I see.” Lawliet scribbled some notes on his tablet to include in the patient file later on. “And you feel pressured to drink?”

“Sort of? I mean, no one is saying anything and yet it’s like they think me less of a man for not knocking a few back. It could be all in my head. But still, eventually it got to me. I had a sip. Then another. And another. It tasted so fucking good and right. It was like meeting up with a long lost friend that I hadn’t realized was out of touch.”

“You do understand why I said you had to avoid alcohol at all costs?”

Sidney sighed.

Lawliet continued. “You aren’t like most people. You can’t stop. Most people have things inside of them that tell them when enough is enough. You do not, therefore the first sip is as damaging to you as the last sip your body can take. You are an alcoholic, Sidney. Whether you are drinking or not, it’s part of who you are and you must never forget that or you may not live to regret it.”

“You know, Doc, talking to you makes me feel like shit sometimes.”

“Yes?”

“But,” the man continued, looking him in the eyes. “I needed that. Really needed it. All the people around me don’t get it. They’d just as soon put a beer in my hand as stop to realize they shouldn’t.”

“All the people? What about AA?”

“I sorta stopped going.” He laughed sheepishly. “I kind of figured I was cured.”

“You still work out?” Lawliet asked.

“Sure,” his patient answered with confusion. “Why?”

“If you stop lifting weights, do your muscles atrophy?”

“You mean get weaker? Sure. But it gets bad over time, missing a few days is no big deal. Missing a few months or even longer would be, though.”

“Exactly my point. Your sobriety is like a muscle. You must continue to flex it, strengthen it. And you can help yourself by surrounding yourself with positive influences. Go back to AA. Regularly. Date, but pick a more suitable environment. If that is a problem, then date someone else. If they can’t understand that your life is on the line with this, then they will be nothing but a bad influence for you.”

“Yeah, Doc,” Sidney said quietly. “I know you’re right. I know it.”

“Don’t let this overwhelm you. Start one step at a time. Attend the Alcoholics Anonymous meetings again. Begin there.” He smiled at his patient. “Who knows, you might meet someone.”

---

L was wrapping things up for the day, already thinking of which psychiatrist’s office he might try this evening. He usually only went once a week at most, but this week was just shaping up different. Despite his flexible schedule, he didn’t like to make a custom of leaving early more often than that, even if it was only an hour or so which allowed him to take another doctor’s last appointment of the day.

And still, he kept debating the cat.

He was a bit of a neat freak. How would he handle the inevitable shedding hair? Would a lint roller suffice? Would he notice hair on his couches? Maybe if he got a black cat, he wouldn’t even see it.

“Doctor?” a feminine voice queried.

“Yes, Sophie?”

And what sort of food did one feed a cat? Canned? Dry? What was the difference? Was one better than the other? Healthier? By god, now he needed to research pet food. He wouldn’t be responsible for providing a miserable quality of life for a creature through poor sustenance. And there had to be a proper balance, certainly, between nutritious and appetizing. Could you make your pet hate you simply for not bearing tasty food? Horrifying thought.

Sophie cleared her throat. He looked up. She had a faint frown on her elfin face and her hands were clasped in front of her. This indicated she didn’t particularly like what she was going to say next. “Doctor, I know you said this morning that you might take an early day, but...”

“Yes?”

“Well,” she sighed. “A new client just walked in and I just couldn’t turn him away, sir.”

“Why not?” he asked bluntly, rather confused at this himself. Sophie had never had this sort of problem before. She handled people with great aplomb. It was part of why he paid her so well.

“We could use a few more patients,” she said, evading the question. “Isn’t that right? So why don’t we just get him started? He said that if we couldn’t take him today, he’d be happy to go somewhere else.”

“We do all right,” he responded, but decided to just cut his losses instead of arguing the point. Sophie was an excellent staff member. He didn’t feel one deviation or oddity in the years she’d worked for him warranted chiding or discipline. In fact, he was lucky he’d happened across her. She made his life easier. Well, most days. He opened his briefcase back up again and took out his notepad and pen. “Give me a moment and then send him in.”

“Yes, sir.”

She left the doorway and he stowed his case back under the desk. Leaning back in his chair, he cleared his mind of the things he’d thought he’d be doing later today and focused upon getting back into the headspace needed for doing his job.

“Am I intruding?” a cultured voice politely inquired, catching him off guard.

What a way to make a first impression, he thought scathingly as he popped upright in a hurry, rattling the chair on its wheels. He grabbed his notepad and pen into a ready position as he looked up at the speaker.

A young man in a business suit stood at the doorway smiling charmingly. Oh boy. This might be the problem Sophie was having. He was a good-looking fellow, with a meticulously kempt appearance, warm eyes that were somewhere between brown and ruddy amber, and smooth, shiny hair. He didn’t look to be so much younger than himself.

Lawliet decided to take the offensive and get things back on track. Perhaps he could restore professionalism to his already compromised performance thus far. “Good afternoon, Mr....?”

“Yamaguchi,” he responded simply, still smiling. “May I?” He gestured to a chair with an articulate, manicured hand. L wondered, had he ever seen hands that were so free of imperfection or clumsiness? He didn’t think so.

“Certainly, Yamaguchi-san, be my guest.”

“That’s a funny turn of phrase, is it not?” the brunet commented as he was seated. “For the very act of my paying you to be in this room makes you something of a business partner. Just so, this chair would rightly be mine to take without your leave, would it not?”

That beatific smile remained in place, not fading a watt.

“That would be a way to look at it.” Charm was not without its sharp edges. He’d anticipated a catch. And this young man had charisma and confidence practically lifting off of him in waves. It put L on edge but it did not show in his demeanor. The pretty ones were always such head cases. “Of course, you might also view your patronage as a salve against your intrusion, and reparation against using the items within this room which are not your own.”

“Indeed,” the brunet remarked, gracefully raising an eyebrow. His smile quirked up a bit at the corner of his mouth as if he’d gained amusement from the exchange.

“And why are you here?” L inquired, shifting his focus from his client’s face to the reason for his visit.

“Aren’t you going to tell me why I am here?”

“I could hazard a guess.”

“Please do.”

“But,” L said, “since it is impossible for you to have known I was scheduled out of the office early this afternoon, it would be foolish to say that you were here to foil my plans. Therefore, instead of making that grave mistake, I shall listen to your estimation of your intent in being here.”

A deeper smile spread upon the brunet’s face. Whether in response to what L said or what his potential patient was going to say next, he wasn’t sure. “I’m too damn happy, doctor.”

Lawliet just looked at him. “Excuse me?”

“Pardon my language,” he amended graciously. “I’m too happy. And that is precisely the problem.” He looked like he was thinking on some private joke. It irritated L just a bit. In this office, real people were dealing with real problems, and this guy--

“Why do you perceive that to be a problem, Yamaguchi-san?”

“Please, call me Light.”

Did he just wink as he said that?

“Light....kun. Why is being happy a problem?”

“There is too much of it,” he confessed, gracefully loosening the tie at his neck. His eyes maintained contact, and L was still uncertain as to how he might classify the color. They had something of an intriguing quality to them. “I graduated top of my class on a scholarship I had no need of as my parents are very wealthy, I’m a successful businessman, I own my own home and two disgustingly expensive vehicles, both paid for, I exercise for something to do, not because I need to, I have excellent taste in clothing, women, and wine, and the future could not be brighter. I simply don’t know what to do.” He almost sounded smug in that proclamation.

Lawliet sat back in his chair, feeling like a slowly deflating balloon. What a curve ball. He had no earthly idea on how to go about handling this one.

“Well, Doctor? What say you?”

“You appear to be quite the enviable man. What would you like me to say?” L returned. It seemed to him that the brunet might be looking for a specific sort of response.

The tie loosened further under the pressure of one slender finger hooked upon it. “Aren’t you going to evaluate me? Perhaps I’m delusional and everything I’ve told you is but whim and fancy.”

“No,” Lawliet contradicted amicably. “I do not think so.”

He received his first frown. “No?”

“No.”

“That is all you have to say to me? After I’ve bared my soul to you?”

“And when did you do that, Yamaguchi-san?”

A deeper frown met his response. “It’s Light, Doctor.”

“Right. Forgive me.”

They looked at each other from across the desk, neither breaking expression. Eventually, however, a secretive smile moved upon the brunet’s well-shaped lips. “Have you ever overdosed on happiness, Doctor?”

“That is such a rare condition, I can’t say that I have.”

“Would you like to know the result?”

“If you would wish to share it with me.”

“Boredom,” the brunet intoned. “Sameness. Anesthetization. Madness.”

“Interesting,” Lawliet said, scribbling a doodle onto the edge of the paper. Later he might make actual notes, but for now he did not wish to waste his concentration. There was something oddly right about what the young man was saying. It could make sense. What would a life be like in which you never had to strive or struggle for anything? Would it not feel empty and meaningless? Still, this new patient of his had a way of getting under his skin with his talk of happiness. It was like a tiny splinter - not large enough to extract and too small to really hurt that much anyway. Just bothersome. There was also the impression that he was privy just now to a grand performance. The brunet was a consummate actor. Flawless in nearly every way.

Yamaguchi Light stood then and, walking up to L’s desk, braced his hands flat upon it, leaning forward with a disapproving look on his face. L distractedly noted the smooth skin of his throat and the edges of his collar bones, where the button-down shirt gaped, before managing to look up again at the face that hovered in front of his. “I don’t believe you are really trying to help me, Doctor,” he accused.

This close, it was really hard not to acknowledge that he was quite beautiful. “What makes you say that?” L asked, finding himself in something of a staring contest for several moments before his eyes were drawn to that mouth turning down in a refined, stoic version of a pout. It should have looked ridiculous, but it didn’t. It was actually rather intriguing. Long lashes swept down to hood warm, intense eyes. “Why, Doctor,” the brunet said in a hushed, coiling voice that thrummed in his ears, “it’s because you haven’t written down a single thing I’ve said.”

“I fail to see the point if you are choosing not to be forthcoming.”

“So stoic, Doctor,” Light commented as he pulled back, taking with him whatever aura it was about him which stole the oxygen out of the air. “Are you calmly implying that I am a liar? It wouldn’t do to slander your patients.”

“Yama--”

“Light.”< br>
“Light-kun,” L amended.

“Just ‘Light’ if you please. Don’t tire me by making me endlessly repeat myself.”

Oh yes, this attitude was exactly the sort of thing that brought splinters to mind - this entitled, royal air. That and the sly, sensual looks that flitted over the brunet’s face, looking for a foothold in whomever might be before him. “Excuse me for that, Light, I misspoke.”

Lawliet caught himself thinking he might justifiably need a shrink of his own after dealing with this young man. “Might I make a request of you?” he asked the princely brunet.

“You may.”

“Could you resume your seat? I’m not accustomed to making such dual use of my work desk.” Indeed, the brunet looked quite at home lounging upon his desk like it was a sofa.

“Does it make you uncomfortable?”

Lawliet debated which answer would get him what he wanted. “A little.”

“Then, if I refuse your request, you might know something of my suffering and be more obliged to end it,” the brunet concluded airily.

“That could be true,” Lawliet ceded. “However, it is also possible that I will choose to ignore your previous request on how I should address you, Yamaguchi-san.”

Light frowned at him speculatively. “You are set on keeping quite the distance between us, aren’t you?”

“It is my professional duty,” he replied.

“Is it?” Light queried thoughtfully, still seated upon the desk. “I’d imagine your duty would lie with helping those in need.” He stressed the word ‘need’ as if he were speaking of a different need altogether, one of a more physical nature. He swept luminous eyes over L’s face. “Can you not see that I am in need?” As much as this flirtatious nature baffled L, it wasn’t something he hadn’t seen before. However, it might have been the first time he’d found himself actually affected by it in any way.

“I am here to assist you as soon as you decide to be forthright with me.”

“All right,” Light said simply.

Lawliet indicated the chair. “From over there--”

Soft lips were brushing over his suddenly, the brunet slipping in too fast for him to even register. The electric shock that snaked through him at their caress, all the way to his toes, rendered him temporarily incapable of rational thought. The tip of a tongue flicked delicately at the seam of his lips and he couldn’t help reflexively letting him in.

Light’s fingers graced his cheek, tracing the lines of his face before sinking into the unruly spikes of his dark hair. More than that, L was aware of the sensuous joining of their mouths and the all-consuming passion with which he was being kissed.

Something was niggling at the back of his mind, though. Quiet, but insistent. Something like horror at what he was allowing to transpire with a patient at this very moment. Or perhaps the true horror was for the inconceivable notion that he was too affected to pay it much mind.

A hand trailed down the side of his neck, lingering upon the hollow of his throat, which was somehow laid bare. When had his shirt become unbuttoned or his tie loosened? He had no memory, but all he could think of was letting that hand continue its meandering path down the front of his chest.

The kiss broke gently. “You’re even more passionate than I thought,” Light murmured against his lips. He sounded like the cat who’d stolen the cream.

What am I doing?

Sense started to trickle in, then a thread of panic.

My god! What am I doing?! This could be a lawsuit, entrapment or no. Patient-doctor relations were strictly forbidden and with good reason. He had to get his wits about him!

“Yamaguchi-san, if you do not sit in your chair as I’ve requested, I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

“After what we just shared?” Light’s tone was sensual and softly mocking. His eyes were mysterious and cat-like.

“What we shared? What I witnessed was a spoiled child in adult form, acting out. Is your life so perfect that you have to fabricate turbulence?” People who decided to act like they were gay in order to be rebellious, or become fashionably outcast, irritated him. And for it to be done by a rich boy like him was unforgivably cliché.

Light stood gracefully, as if he might have been a dancer, and glided back to his seat, sitting upon it like a marionette with cut strings. His head lolled back just the tiniest bit, showing irreverence as he gazed back at L. “Happy?” he queried sardonically.

“No,” L said as he stood abruptly, frowning down at him. “I will not be a method for your destructive impulses. Furthermore, I do not take kindly to being kissed by a man, let alone my own patient. My preferences lie elsewhere.”

“Do they now?” Light said innocently, eyeing him. “That isn’t the impression I got.”

Lawliet was starting to get angry. It was unprofessional of him. About as unprofessional as allowing this man to stick his tongue down his throat, no matter how amazing it may have felt. “Then update yourself,” he snapped.

“Temper, temper,” Light soothed, eyes panning down his body like they were undressing him.

Something about this young man undermined him at nearly every level. It was grating. “Yamaguchi-san, I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

“So soon?” Again, that taunting, teasing tone lurking behind the act. He was being laughed at. All he would have to add is the batting of eyelashes and L would likely try to punch him. “Are you saying you can’t help me?”

You are beyond help.

He wanted to say it, he did. But he couldn’t allow himself to say those words to another human being, no matter how obnoxious they might be. His personal code was ‘No one is beyond help’. If he ever let himself believe otherwise, he’d be a failure of a psychiatrist.

“Light-kun,” he said frankly, coming around to sit against the edge of his desk, facing his troublesome, incredibly sexy patient whom he had no plans of getting to know any further. “Let me level with you. Perfection such as you describe does not exist. It would be a product of either delusion or the claims of a braggart. If you are unhappy with your life, such as it is--” the brunet opened his mouth to interrupt, but L waved him off “--as your presence in my office suggests, then might I recommend that you find a new focus, a new purpose for yourself. Or perhaps obtain a pet? Some people have found an animal’s presence to be quite cathartic. Otherwise, find someone suitable to date.”

His heart skipped in his chest as Light’s look grew broody and accusatory for a moment at that, seeming to say, ‘What if I already found someone I would like to date? Only, after he was kissing me like he hadn’t been laid in years, he’s refusing me.’

“Like one of those women you mentioned having an eye on,” Lawliet added determinedly.

“I said I had good taste, I never said I wanted to fuck them.”

Such a statement was so unexpected, and so blandly stated, that L couldn’t help the surprise that slipped through his professional mask.

“Got you,” Light said. He seemed quietly pleased with himself.

Dammit. “Yes, I suppose you did.” He made a display of looking at his watch. “Our time is at an end, Yamaguchi-san. I must lock up for the evening.”

“Care for a drink?” the brunet asked, as if he were nothing more than an old friend.

“No.”

“That was rather impolite of you, Lawliet.”

“I apologize. I felt a firmer form of declining would be prudent.”

“Not prudent. Rude.”

“I would apologize further, but I admit it would seem a touch unfair given your lack of apology over your advances on me.”

“Very well, I apologize,” Light said, not sounding sorry in the least, “but that doesn’t remove the fact that you liked it.”

“Once you leave this office, the exit is the door on the left. I hope you have a pleasant evening.”

Light was not to be dissuaded. “I’m sure you could do more than just hope, Doctor. Have a drink with me.”

L was just as stubborn. “I applaud your intelligence and your gifts of persuasion. You make for a very interesting person, Light-kun. However, you are not in need of psychiatric care nor do you require further association with me. Look into getting a pet and I’m sure that the rest will just fall into place.”

“Are you breaking up with me?” Light asked blandly. One of his graceful brows was beginning to arch.

“We aren’t dating.”

“Of course not,” he said flatly. “As my doctor, I meant.” Obviously.

L felt his face redden just the tiniest bit. He hoped it went unnoticed, but he wasn’t holding his breath. “If that is how you choose to see it.”

“Hm.” Light’s face adopted a bored expression as he let himself out. He called out over his shoulder with a tone of arrogance and slight disappointment, “Guess you weren’t as good as they say after all.”

---
TBC