Death Note Fan Fiction ❯ Sin or Spend the Night All Alone ❯ Sin or Spend the Night All Alone (Part Six) ( Chapter 6 )

Sin or spend the night all alone

Masamune Reforged

a Death Note- Mello x Matt fanfic

 

Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note, nor Matt or Mello. The quoted song is “Me vs. Maradonna vs. Elvis” by Brand New. I know, a crazy name for a song like this... I don't even like that band; but this song is absolutely awesome and made me write this.

 

Warnings: Yaoi (Mello x Matt, graphic, kinky lemon: bondage, rough S&M), angst, cursing, alcohol. Also, unsafe sex is stupid sex, and a needless gamble with your life and the person you are with.

 

Author's Note: I take some liberties here with these two's pasts. All I know officially about it is that they were both potential successors to L at the same Wammy's house. I assume they knew each other when they were younger, but I do not have them being close childhood buddies.

 

For: Everyone who has encouraged me to stick with this thing. I hope you enjoy it

 

Song lyrics are in ~~bold~~

 

 

Time passes. Matt coaxes me back with soft, dry kisses against my neck. I get hard again, still inside of him, and he asks me to fuck him. That's what he says, he doesn't say 'make love'. I don't believe he feels that is a thing you can consciously produce. I try my best, and as Matt encourages me along with wanton words, I regain my composure. I drag my fingernails over his nipples when he asks me to. I bite him when he cries out for me to. I smack him on every inch of his body and twist him into a million positions. I grab the pan of boiling wax and empty it on his chest. He goes rigid, clenching and squirming. We both reach the summit's edge and heedlessly plummet over it.

 

Sunlight cascades over our naked bodies.

 

~~I will lie awake~~

 

“I don't get it,” Matt whispers. “I'm so confused and... But I feel happy.” He laughs. “For the first time in my life, I feel happy.”

 

We are on the other side of the abyss, but everything is still the same.

 

“It doesn't matter what you feel.” I push him off of me and turn away.

 

~~Lie for fun and fake the way I hold you~~

 

“If you want to stay with me, this is how it's going to be. You are just a tool, another thing I have. You are important only so long as you can live for me. That's all I want from you.”

 

We have born our souls to each other, but the people we are are still the same.

 

“That's enough for me.” Matt smiles.

 

~~Let you fall for every empty word I say.~~

 

We are at the beginning.

After so much, after going so far, here we are, the same as we started.

After so much, after giving so much, here we are, and it all seems like so much of the same.

 

~~I will lie awake~~

 

“Go shower and clean yourself up. You smell like shit.”

 

I push him roughly away. He stands on weak legs.

 

~~Lie for fun and fake the way I hold you~~

 

“Sure thing... boss.”

 

He begins to walk away.

 

~~Let you fall for every empty word I say.~~

 

At the far, far, filthy, ransacked, lightless little corner of myself, back near the gates that lead down to my memories and the demon infested workings of my mind. At the far back, where the good is dead, back near the font of salvation where, only when I believe no one is looking, I empty my burden, terrified of taking on some new form, some new life. Where the decay stinks and I can almost hear the lingering echo of the pitiful thing screaming out from behind the gates while I cut it—cut myself—to pieces one by one.

 

I live back here because it's the only place I'm comfortable. I live here because I can't face the prospect of salvation, because I can't save my pitiful self, screaming in the darkness of my soul. I live back here because I can stare out at the world and it doesn't get a chance to stare back at me.

 

I consume my own poisoned thoughts and watch the red-head walk towards the shower.

 

~~I will lie awake~~

 

“I can never love you, you know.”

 

It is a sad and terrible place to be.

 

~~Lie for fun and fake the way I hold you~~

 

“That... that's okay...”

 

~~Let you fall for every empty word I say.~~

 

But at least I am not there by myself.

 

-end

“Sin or spend the night all alone”

 

Author Comment:

It has been awhile, hasn't it?

 

There was a time when I was sure I would never finish this thing. I honestly care next to nothing for Death Note, and this twisted version of the characters is something so drenched in the colors of my own demons that it can no way be considered 'in character'. When I came to a complete halt on this, I decided there was nothing that could make me want to do it. The only reason I have dragged myself up out of the hole of idleness to hack and stumble to a conclusion is the feedback, reviews, and e-mails I have gotten from people who wanted to see this thing finished.

 

Thank you so much. I hope you enjoyed it.

 

Author Notes:

The song by Brand New is actually titled “Me vs Maradona vs Elvis”

Mello sometimes uses Matt's real name, “Mail”.

Matt does not use Mello's name because he has forgotten it, but he has recognized who Mello is. In fact, I half suspect he is not at that bar by accident at all.

I originally included Mello calling a doctor to come and check on Matt, who would have some serious internal issues considering the circus-size of the dildos and cock in this one.

I did not originally have Mello crying. Part of me wonders if that was the right thing to do. I felt that he had to show something, considering I always intended to end the story with him being cold to Matt, but somehow...

I originally had planned to fully narrate the end of the sex scene at the beginning of this chapter (with the wax and all) as the end of the previous chapter, but I thought Mello's breakdown was a better note to end it on, as my original plan was to write sex-based story, and in the end it is not just that, I hope.