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Disclaimer: Mr. Referee, Largo, Dom, Ed, Gohan/`The Great Saiya-man', Amelia (Wil Tesla Seyruun), and Usagi/Serena/Sailor Moon don't belong to me. Don't worry, I'll return them when I'm done…Let's just hope they won't be scarred for life…Oh well! Please don't sue me! ^_^

Episode 3: Champions of Justice

*Kimi pulls a remote out of her pocket and the giant (and astoundingly convenient) TV lowers out of the ceiling. She presses a few buttons and it turns on. After flipping channels for a minute, she turns on the news*

News Lady: …And, in other news, there has been a recent string of kidnappings. *Pictures of Amelia, Gohan and Usagi are shown* The kidnapper has not yet been identified, but police have made a composite sketch from eyewitness accounts. *A sketch that looks oddly similar to Kimi's conscience flashes onto the screen* If you see this chibi, please notify police immediately. *Someone hands the news lady a piece of paper* …There has been another kidnapping! The fourth victim of this serial kidnapper is Largo from MegaTokyo…

*Just then there is a loud `POP', and Kimi's conscience appears, dragging a comatose Largo*

Conscience: Hi hi, Kimi! Mesas gots Largo-sama here for you, just likes yusas asked!!

Kimi: Thanks! Just put him over in the corner. You really should be more careful, the kidnappings are on the news.

Conscience: Okiday! Mesa go finds more peoplez to kidnaps?

Kimi: No, I think this will be enough. Would you mind waking up Great Teacher Largo?

Conscience: Iiish!!!

*Kimi's conscience pulls a bucket of ice cold water (complete with several ice cubes shaped like small monkeys…don't ask) and dumps it on Largo's head*

Largo (spluttering): Ack! What the? Where am I?

Kimi: Great Teacher Largo! Welcome to Anime Arena (echo)!!!

Largo: OK…Why am I here?

Anti-Conscience: J00R H3R3 2 734CH U5 7H3 M34N!NG OF L337. (Translation: My friend, you are to present in order to show us the meaning of l33t)

Kimi: And to help me beat Resident Evil!!

Largo: Dude! Bring on the zomb!es!

*The scene changes to a dark cell somewhere within the catacombs that lay beneath the arena (if I want catacombs, I can have catacombs!)*

Gohan: Anyone know where the *beep* we are?

Amelia: Judging by the fact that you just got `beeped', this is either a show or a fanfic written by someone who wants to keep their PG rating.

Gohan: Oh that's sooooo helpful.

Usagi: Okay then, mister smart *beep*, do you have a suggestion on how to get out of here?

Gohan: Well…I could blow the whole place up, but you two would probably be crushed to death.

Amelia: Wonderful.

Anti-Conscience (appearing out of the darkness): Actually, you couldn't blow any of this up. These walls are constructed entirely of Ultra-Gundanium, a metal that not even a saiya-jin could break through.

Gohan: WHAT?!

*Meanwhile, back with Kimi*

Kimi: Ack!! I died again!! How the heck are you supposed to control the character from a stationary viewpoint?! It's insanity!!!!

Largo: Too control the character, joo must be one with the character. L34rn this and joo shall reign supreme. By the way, joo got any non-l33t computers around here? `Cause I'd be perfectly willing to…

Kimi: Nope, afraid my l33t-obsessed conscience already got to all the computers within a five-block radius of here.

Conscience: Y35H!!! (Translation: That is correct)

*Just then, Kimi's anti-conscience `POP's in*

Anti-Conscience: The prisoners are secure! Ne, Kimi? How long do I get to keep those three down there?

Kimi: Well…All three of them are hero-types, so it should be awhile before they hate each other enough to fight fellow good guys. I'd give it an hour tops.

Anti-Conscience: Awww. Are you sure I can't play with them for any longer than that? *makes a cute little pouty face*

Kimi: Fine, you can have two hours. Just make sure none of them try and kill each other…yet.

Anti-Conscience: Yeah!!! Let's see…what should I do with them first? I could try out that laser cannon I've been saving for a rainy day, or there's that large rabid monkey that's been hanging around in the basement, or maybe…

*Kimi's anti-conscience disappeared with a `POP', still contemplating on how she should torture her `guests'*

Largo: I need some beer. Got any b33r?

Kimi: Um…I'm under the drinking age…why don't you go ask Mr. Referee?

Largo: PH34R MY LACK OF B33R!!! *Largo goes off to find Mr. Referee…and some beer*

*Two hours later:*

*Kimi's anti-conscience `POP's in, looking rather disgruntled*

Anti-Conscience: Uh, Kimi…Gohan's started foaming at the mouth and chewing on the bars of the cell…

Conscience: J00 5H0UL|> 5/\/\4C|< H1M \/\/!7H |\/|A RUBB3R C|-|!C|<3N!!!! D4+Z W4T 4LW4Y5 \^/0R|<5 4 ^^3. (Translation: Perhaps a rubber chicken would rectify the situation) *Pulls out a rubber chicken and hands it to Kimi's anti-conscience*

Anti-Conscience: Uh…thanks… Hey Kimi?

Kimi: Ah! It came back to life!!! DIE!!!! Did you say something, AC?

Anti-Conscience: Gohan's gone insane…wouldn't it be the perfect time to start the match? ^_^

Kimi: *BEEP*, I'm out of bullets! Huh? Oh, sure, whatever…D!3 J00 Z0/\/\B!3 5CUM!!!!!!!

Conscience: Y35H!! 5h3 !5 /\/0\^/ 4 5[4\/3 2 7|-|3 L337!!! (Translation: She has been converted to the l33t side!)

Largo: S\//33T. (Translation: A glorious triumph!)

Anti-Conscience: I think I'll take that as a yes…Let's go down to the arena, where our three captives-er…contestants are waiting to fight.

*Another conveniently placed giant TV screen lowers down several feet in front of the one Kimi is currently using to shoot zombies. It turns on, showing Mr. Referee with two girls standing behind him: one with very long blond hair in two pigtail-like…things and wearing an odd sailor-type outfit (she seems to be twitching spasmodically), the other a young girl with short purple-black hair (who appears just short of chipper). Kimi's conscience `POP's in, dragging an extremely disgruntled-looking Gohan in a straightjacket*

Mr. Referee: Today we have three contestants, Amelia, Sailor Moon, and The Great Saiya-man, who'll be battling over the tittle of `Defender of Justice' simply for our entertainment. And, to give them some extra incentive, we locked them all in a cell together for two hours earlier today. (After all, no one could take being locked in the same room as Amelia for more than a few minutes with losing some sanity) *Looks over at the three heroes* I trust you know the rules? *Amelia nods happily, Usagi just twitches, and Gohan continues slobbering on himself* I'll take that as a yes… All right then, FIGHT!!!

*Mr. Referee runs and hides behind a large rock as Kimi's anti-conscience releases Gohan (from a safe distance, of course), who then lunges straight at the deranged Sailor Scout who is standing only a few feet away. Meanwhile, Amelia starts one of her oh-so-annoying speeches*

Amelia (striking a valiant pose from atop a boulder): I, Amelia Wil Tesla Seyruun, will not be beaten! The light of my justice will shine through your evil!!! By the Light of Purity I possess, I bid thee be gone to the nexus of our two worlds!

*Amelia unleashes a Megido Flare. Though it has no effect whatsoever on Gohan, it does cause Usagi to fall over in a dead faint*

Gohan (turning towards the strange flash of light…and Amelia): Now you DIE!!!!!!

Amelia: Eh? It didn't work? Uh…What should I use? What should I use? *Gohan is all but charging at the young girl* I know! Everlasting flame of blue, let the power hidden in my soul be called forth from the Infinite!

*Just as Gohan leaps at her, Amelia unleashes a Ra Tilt, which smothers the entire arena in an insanely huge explosion (talk about overkill)*

Amelia: Did I…beat him?

Gohan (staggering out of the smoke): Nope.

Amelia (stuttering): Wha? How could…but I…and then...boom…and you…

*Gohan walks calmly up to the confused princess, stops a step or two away, and points at her forehead. Suddenly, a strange light starts to build at the tip of his outstretched finger*

Gohan: If you don't shut the *beep* up, I swear that I will blow your brains out.

*Amelia falls over in a dead faint*

Gohan: Good choice.

Mr. Referee: (coming out from behind his rock, and looking rather singed): The winner is the Great Saiya-man! You are now the official `Defender of Justice'. Congratulations! You will cover the damages to the arena, right?

*Gohan looks around at the arena (which was almost completely destroyed by Amelia's last spell) and sweat-drops*

Gohan: Er…You can charge that to the Capsule Corp. I'm sure Bulma won't mind…too much.

*Back with Kimi…*

*Kimi is still franticly shooting zombies, and Largo is still drinking beer while conversing in l33t with the chibi-angel that's sitting on his head*

Kimi: How long can this game be? Hey! I gust got a grenade launcher! Boojah! (that's pronounced boo-yeah, and I actually said when I got to that part of the game…)

*Suddenly there is an explosion, leaving a father large hole in the wall. Through it walk two men with very large guns*

Largo: Jo! Dom, Ed, where've joo been?

Ed (into a mike): Mission successful. We're heading back to Tokyo.

Dom: Come on Largo, let's go.

Largo: Aww, but they have b33r h3r3…

Ed: We're leaving now, whether you come of not.

Largo: Fine…

*The two strangers exit back through the smoking hole in the wall, Largo trailing behind them*

By the way, if you don't know who Dom, Ed, or Largo are, you've been missing out. For the love of all that is good, check out MegaTokyo.com. Seriously, the only person I've ever known not to like it was my mom. But then again, she's just weird.

REVIEW!!!! PLEASE!!!! I BEG OF THEE!!!! Okay, maybe not, but I would appreciate it. Or, if you like, you could make a suggestion for the next battle. I dunno…

Oh, and would like to point out the fact that I made a mistake in the first ep. It's not Digger Bolt, it's Digu Volt. Oh well.