Digimon Fan Fiction / Pokemon Fan Fiction / Pokemon Fan Fiction ❯ Anime Debates Series ❯ Digimon Debate: Sex Ruins Romance ( Chapter 2 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

Digimon Debate: Sex Ruins Romance
Directed and written by Storm Da Elite
Co written by PikaFlash Tai

Rated R for topics and the repeat of the word sex more than usual...

Disclaimers:All characters, ideas, scenes, speeches, comercials and songs belong to their
respective owners...

*Note: These aren't true, so, don't critisise. But the part about FOX and WB are all true.*

Cast:

Affirmative Team:
Tai Yagami
Yolei Inoue
Takeru Takaishi

Negative Team:
Cody Hida
Kari Yagami
Ken Ichijoji

Moderator:
Gatomon

*************

Ga tomon: Ok, now, this is the debate of the moment that shows that Sex runis Romance...well,
it's not what I would want to say since I have to take care of a Digi-Egg I suppose that
belongs to me...but still, who's complaining? Well, Romance did lead to sex and leads back to
Romance with a sore back, heartburn and throwing up in the morning. Or is that sex? Well, I
will ring the bell if Time is up or my Digi-egg is hatching. So, now we'll have our first
guest...Tai Yagami and his Tai Live stunts here to prove that Sex Ruins Romance...

Tai's Speech:

Tai:*holding a flower* Well, just to clarify that, it is easier using props as visual
reffrences...basically, this flower represents Romance, delicate, fragile and in need of
care. To prove that Sex ruins romance, I'm going to need one of these. *holds up a penis
shaped object* and this is an immobiliser model that represents Sex. For those of you who
don't know what this is, it's a penis without the main part...let's see the results...

As Tai puts the flowers on the Negative desk, he used the object and smashed the flowers lots
of times right in front of Cody, Kari and Ken...

Tai: Not only I have prove the point, we can dispense the rest of the proceadings and go to
some bar, get drunk and have sex with each other. Gatomon, would you like to hold this for me?

Tai hands the object to Gatomon...

Gatomon: No way. I'm not going to hold one of those...

Tai: Ok, just put it on the table...anyway, if that wasn't proof enough, just remember that
this topic is about sex. Nobody is intrested in Romance, you can't romance someone with a
strap-on device. And besides, you can't put "Romance" and "Penetration" in the same sentence.
And who among the men around here would prefer to watch a Romance video than a Sex Video?

Cody and Ken raised their hands...

Tai: Recently, Toei released a survey that Romance behind wars and boy bands are a threat to
our planet. I mean, Romance isn't a pure thing to be preserved. Think about Cupid? I mean,
for god's sake, Cupid! Romance being represented by a naked child would be disturbing enough.

Gatomon rings the bell...

Tai: Just breathe and calm down...is the egg hatching?

Gatomon: This one is for you.

Tai: Why is it that people do great things? To get laid, if that is a word. Like Piedmon
acting like an idiot. Like Etemon making his own music. And Goku introduced the GST to screw us
all. But there's an irony. The Head of WB never even bother to show new episodes of Pokemon and
yet we still get screwed!!!! The Head of FOX never even show the new episodes of Digimon and
yet again we still get SCREWED!!! What is this? A conspiracy? THAT'S RIGHT!!! WE'VE BEEN
SCREWED!!! I would like to say, Sex Ruins Romance...thank you...

Tai walks back to his chair...

Gatomon: That was the king of the universe, Tai Yagami. Next, we will have an ex-lawyer who
say he knows much about Romance, but doesn't have a romantic bone. But if you pay him enough,
he'll say he has one, but still don't get it, here he have is the one known as Cody Hida!

Cody's speech:

Cody: Anyway, the main thing for us in the negative team is that we'll be repeating the topic
over and over again but with the additional words, "does not". Ok, Sex, I have heard about it
and read it in books and I even know one person who had it. Anyway, the most important thing
to know is that sex does not ruin Romance, and to show that is true. I mean, people at work
think about it, but when having sex, you'll think, "Oh, I forgot about that file!" Sex isn't
the ending. It's the beginning. I mean we'll know the diffrences between men and women.
Becoming a parent. There are such things as multiple orgasms in women and men can't, if we
can, then we'll all be dehydrated in just half and hour!!!! I know that forplay is the kind
of thing that starts Sex, but not ruin it, because people would want to do it if there's
candle light dinner and stuff...well during sex women can detect an orgasm, just listen for
snores and count 3 seconds back.

Gatomon rings the bell...

Cody: The point is that no matter how much we try in doing Sex, it doesn't ruin Romance, so
we shall see who is right!!! *gestures at the cameraman* Come closer. I want to end this with
an appeal. Ever wonder when your romance ended? Well with eating chocolates replaced by FOX's
taxes? Candlelight dinner replaced with washing up rosters? Bouquet of flowers replaced by
gardening duty? Well, why not jost go and do it. Not just in the bedroom, but in the living
room, on the sofa. And while you're at it. *looks around* Leave the TV on. AND that's why Sex
DOES NOT Ruin Romance! Thank you!

Gatomon: And that was Cody Hida, the Ex-Lawyer of Death.

*Comercial Break*

Tai Live Comercial:

Tai is in his studio:

Tai: That's right, the Ex-lawyer of death, anyway, I'm up here on the ladder...soon, Tai Live
episode 8 is coming up as I will interview Sabrina, the Psychic, Kari interviewing the crew
from Salior Moon, have Veronica Taylor and Rachel Lillis to be in the gameshow segment, Kari,
Matt and I will audition for a circus, I will interview Matt's Band and get a make over with
the Band's make up artist and catch up with comedian Storm Da Elite...

*

Gatomon: Now, we will have a certain violet-haired girl, YOLEI INOUE!!!

Yolei's Speech:

Yolei: Well, I have been doing a bit of studying and I found out that when a male praying
mantis courts a female praying mantis, it turns out very hard for it but after a few aphids
or tiny diet of edible food, the female gives in and when the male thinks he's going to score,
during sex, the female rips the male's head off...now, that ruins Romance. Do these people
think that we're not praying mantises? *pointing at Cody's team* Well, I think that romance
starts out as holding hands while goinging to the movies...then sex came along...at first,
Sex wasn't anything anybody knows about. But now, there's condoms, AIDS, Bi-sex, Gay-sex,
cyber-sex, multiple orgasms and more.

Gatomon rings the bell...

Yolei: Basically, having a child is the main point of ruining both sex and romance, I mean,
that's what they were born to do. Sex is smelly, dirty, awful and weird...and it ruins romance
when you get preagnent. Basically, when you think bacl to the movie holding hands, you'll
think, "Where have we gone wrong?" To end this f...abulous debate, I say, Sex ruins Romance.

Gatomon: That was Yolei, the queen of purple hair...next is a girl who was an angel but now
is nicknamed Angel, we bring her to earth, Kari Yagami!!!!

Kari's Speech:

Kari: Sex does not ruin Romance, as Cody says. But the point is that Sex does not ruin
Romance, Romance ruin Sex. Romance is like a B-movie with Antony Hopkins and a flock of sheep.
Romance ruins sex like WB, FOX, 4Kids, Saban, Toei and Nintendo ruin everything. A candlelight
is safe when alone, but not when you're nude, because you would have wax every where but not
at the good spots. Romance is a kind of investment that can drain faster than the kitchen
sink. I just wanted to say that to sound smart.

Gatomon rings the bell...

Kari: Basically, on the internet, you'll fall for a trick of broken promises, a radio
competition and marrying a criminal with a hairstyle much worst than Matt's. Romance is crap,
it's some kind of stiky goo that can mess with your mind and it must be destroyed. Sex does
not ruin romance but romance ruins sex. Now before any of us get nausea for not having sex,
I like to say Romance ruins sex. Thank you.

Gatomon: That was Kari Yagami aka. Angel.

*Comercial Break*

Digimon High Comercial:

Pictures of a younger Matt being drunk...

TK: If you drink Alcohol, you will die...

Izzy pours a carton of milk on himself...

Matt: I have ruin this beautiful working relationship...

Matt faints right in front of Yolei...

*

Gatomon: The next person is the type of good soul that proves that romance is ruined by
grunting, mess, mones and lust, I'm pleased to bring you, Takeru Takaishi...

TK's Speech:

TK: This is a wonderful debate and a wonderful show and you people look like fragile, delicate
flowers. You know what makes flowers grow? Well, you won't be flung around by these bloody
crap. You need the light *thumb pointing at Cody* Basically, all living beings known can have
sex. But the diffrence between a human is one, the thumb, two, we have the ability to become
romantic. Anyway, Sex ruins Romance and in my 6th grade science, we got to see the buffalos
having sex...and now, my teacher is in prison. Well, after Buffalos mated, they don't walk
off hoove to hoove into the sunset. I never see 2 buffalos pash in the back row. The point?
Don't have sex with a buffalo, you...buffalo, for it doesn't give you Romance...This isn't
about Sex and Romance...it goes deeper...it goes to say that its being human and much less
human. And now, more people suffer from depression than the people during the depression.
These days, people go to a niteclub to find someone, and the beautiful people go with the
beautiful people while the rest go and get a kabab. It's time for you to see who's the perfect
human being...Music...

Music started to play...

TK: Who is this beautiful man? Who roams around the Earth who does not need to have sex
to be romantic but needs the thumb.

TK stands on while taking off his jacket, reavealing a T-shirt with a picture of himself
giving the thumbs up on it...and the music ends...

TK: Thank you.

Gatomon: That was the Thumb King, Takeru Takaishi...

*Comercial Break*

McAnimes Ad:

Joe was wearing a McAnimes outfit...

Voice: At McAnimes, we not only make great meals, but making great meals isn't good enough,
we have tackle the competition head on...

Joe tackled a Pizza Guy from the Pizza at the Hut...

Joe tackled a Dice Pizza delievery guy...

Joe tackled a Digimon Food Chain (DFC) Delivery guy...

Joe then tackled a Pokemon Delivery service...

Voice: Thank goodness we make great meals...

*

Gatomon: Now, let's take a look at him, what face to look at for a woman to think when
staring at him in a field of flowers..."RUN AWAY!!!!" And here he is, the Ex-Kaiser, Ken!!!

Ken's Speech:

Ken: Sex does not destroy Romance, nothing can destroy Romance, unless is a tiny one...Sex
can replace Romance, but not destroy. Yolei's speech makes it feel like it's in your face. No,
that's what tissues are for. Anyway, I had sex with 2 of the members of the opposing team, and
the romance is still there, except for Tai cause his hair is too big...Shakespear is a very
romantic kind of guys as you can see in his works, like this part in Romeo and Juliet, Juliet
says "Does thou love, I knew they would say yes, but it does thou swearm they may proof
false." I think what she means "If you love me, just say it, but if you're lieing, then just
do it!!!" That's not what Shakespearean people would want to hear would they. Well, here's one
for Romeo, "Call me but love, but it shall be you baptised, henceforth, I shall never be
Romeo", which means "I'm in love with you, I forget who I am and I'll become part of you".
The other thing in that sentence is when you say "but love" in a sexy way...but one person
said, "Bricks and water is like an idea from Better Homes and Gardens."

Gatomon rings the bell...

Ken: You know, the opposition says that if you jump into Romance, then you're gonna get a
good Jolly Rogering...and sex can destroy Romance, not even the natural enemy of
entertainment, sock puppets. *puts on a sock on his left hand and hids behind the stand and
holds up the sock* *Singing using the black sock* It's Christmas day, in a sock drawer! When I
saw a certain thing that can make it a happy Christmas. *Finishes singing* You think that
socks don't have genetials cannot have sex? Well, anything on my hands can have sex. Thank you.

*Comercial Break*

Tai Live Community Service: Serving people for a couple of months...

*Mimi's house...*

Jun: Mimi, where's the bathroom?

Mimi: Over there...

Jun enters the bathroom...

Matt: HAHAHAHAH!!! Can you believe that he's still singing?

Guy: Yeah...

Matt: Now, I need to use the men's room...*puts the beer bottle on the table*

Mimi heard what Matt did...and then she started running, stopping Matt from reaching the
bathroom...

Mimi: *slowly* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! *as she drops the plate and trips*

Then Matt opens the door to see Jun at the toliet bowl screaming...as Matt was covering his
face in fear...

Later...Jun was crying...

Matt: I didn't know she was in there?

Mimi: Too late!!! THIS RELATIONSHIP IS OVER!!!!

*Then the gang freezes as Tai comes on screen in a lab coat*

Tai: Forgeting to lock bathrooms is a problem in the Anime world...it breaks up relationships
and partys. This is a problem...so follow this message...

"If you're in, lock"
"If you're out, knock"

*

Gatomon: Now is both the team's last chance to gain the support of you people for this debate
and win the support, starting with Cody Hida!!!

Cody's rebuttal:

Cody: Ok, why did Tai portrayed Romance as a rose while being beaten up by a fake penis...
although I was expecting a real one. And being impossible to put "Romance" and "Penetration",
didn't he put those words together? What about Yolei's explaination about sex as smelly,
dirty, awful and weird? That's not sex, that's taking out the garbage. And about the part of
us arguing that we aren't praying mantises, we will, we will prove we are not. And didn't any
noticed that Yolei almost swore? But then she said, "F...abulous"! We've been tricked. As for
TK, why would he want people to get closer to him by softening his voice? You know why? TO
CON YOU!!! He's conning you to be on his side!!!! HE'S CONNING YOU TO SEE THAT SEX RUINS
ROMANCE BUT IT DOES NOT!!! I mean, he did mention that there are more people depressed than
the people during the depression, well, there are more people at middle age than there were in
the world during the middle ages, there are more people having the cold than there were during
the cold war.

Kari: And maybe there were more people with at least the name War in their name than
during the Cold War.

Cody: There are more people doing the doggy style than there are dogs in the world...

Ken: Dogs with style? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Cody: There are more people in the world doing a 69 than the number 69. There are more people
in the world with the initials B.C than the world BC. If sex does not exist, romance cannot
exist and no dust can carry flowers, only humans, and that's shows that SEX DOES NOT RUIN
ROMANCE!!! Thank you.

Gatomon: That was Cody of the Negative...

*Comercial Break*

Tai Story promotion:

Tai Yagami is almost here as he brings a story of comedy...

Joe: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! YOU IDIOT!!!

Squall was dressed as a Nurse sweeping the floor of Joe's Monster Food Shop...

...Romance...

Tai: That's Sora, she's beautiful, intelligent, ambitious, sensible and totally unobtainable
for a guy like me...she's mentally strong too...

...idiotic stunts...

Jun whacks Joe's face and the frying pan filled with chicken he was holding landed at the
stove and a fire was started...and all panicked and all hell broke loose...

As we will get to see it on Tai Story, coming soon...

*

Tai's rebuttal:

Tai: Well, basically now I have heard more shit than the shit of some who have...shited, if
that is a word. What I'm doing now is talking about the team over there. *Pointing at Cody's
team* Well, while listening to Cody, I was just day dreaming...until the part where he mentions
about having sex in the living room and leaving the TV on. He did that so that he could peek at
you. As for Kari, I was just watching TK drawing naked pictures of Kari. And then as for Ken,
what's is it with the Sock puppets? Just to say this, Sex does honestly ruins Romance, but I
decided to go last as you know, we're in a generation where we talk for 3-4 minutes and for
another 3-4 minutes, someone would say, "He was just going on and on." So, basically the result
is...we'll win, obviously.

Tai walks back to his seat...

Gatomon: That was Tai of the Affirmative. Now, it's your turn to choose which of them will be
the winner of this debate. Will it be the loving and caring team of the affirmative?

1/3rd of the audience cheered...

Gatomon: Or the messy and active team of the negative?

2/3rds of the audience cheered...

Gatomon: Ok, looks like the Negative wins this round, and thank you for coming to night...ack,
the egg kicked me.

Party papers were shot out from the sides of the stage...

Credits:

Affirmative Team:
Tai Yagami
Yolei Inoue
Takeru Takaishi

Negative Team:
Cody Hida
Kari Yagami
Ken Ichijoji

Moderator:
Gatomon

Producer: Taichi Yagami

Producer: PikaFlash Tai

Cameraman/Editor: Koushiro Izumi

Clean up: Hikari Yagami

A Studio Production

A Tai Enterprises Production

A PikaFlash Production