Digimon Fan Fiction ❯ A MiSTing of Scoring on Your Own Team ❯ Halloween Hijinks ( Chapter 1 )

A MiSTing of Scoring On Your Own Team

By

Digifan3:16

I got the idea for the second host segment after reading a MiSTing of a Matt/TK lemon (and throwing up).

In the not too distant future,

Orbiting the planet up above,

Brian Smiley and his robot pals

Are being tortured on the

Satellite of Love.

Tortured by the students of Pearl,

Nerd Boy Ned and QB Ted.

Because when Brian relaunched the

SOL into space,

He accidentally burned down

Mrs. Forester's entire place.

(Brian: I'm… so… sorry!)

Pearl: "They'll send him cheesy Stories.

The worst they can find (la, la, la).

They'll make him sit and watch them all,

And they'll monitor his mind (la, la, la)."

Now keep in mind Brian can't control

Where the stories begin or end (la, la, la).

He'll try to keep his sanity,

With the help of his robot friends.

(BRIAN with a clip board reading)

ROBOT ROLL CALL!

CAMBOT! (You're on!)

MAGGIE! (I used to be Magic Voice!)

GYPSY! (Why couldn't the new guy be Richard Bassheart?)

TOM SERVO! (I'm not a talking gumball machine!)

CROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW! (Same as always!)

If you're wondering how

He eats and breathes,

And other science facts (la, la, la),

Just repeat to your self

"It's just a show,

I should really just relax."

For Mystery Science Theatre 3000! (Twang!)

(0… 1… 2… 3… 4… 5… Dog bone)

(SOL, and BRIAN is emerging from behind the desk)

BRIAN: Hi, and welcome to the Satellite of Love, I'm Brian Smiley. It's Halloween here on the SOL, and Mike told me the guys like to pull pranks around this time, but I got a plan. Ok, so its hiding the whole time, you try to think of something on short notice.

TOM (Off screen): Oh boy, this is great.

BRIAN: Uh-oh!

(BRIAN hides just as the BOTS, minus MAGGIE, appear on screen)

TOM: He's in the shower, you know what that means.

CROW: BAM! We got him. He, he, he. He ain't gonna know what hit him.

BRIAN (Emerging from the desk): Which is?

BOTS: ACK!

TOM: But if you're here…

CROW: THEN WHO'S IN THE SHOWER?!

BRIAN: Maggie. She spilled oil on her self when she was drinking earlier, so I let her go first. Why? What did you do?

TOM: We replaced the shower's water…

CROW: WITH SPRING OF DROWNED GIRL!

BRIAN: YOU WHAT?!

(MAGGIE comes out looking the same, since she already looks like the female Ranma, but wearing nothing but a towel, causing BRIAN'S jaw to drop and his nose to bleed)

MAGGIE: That was great. Brian? You ok?

BRIAN: Gah, uh, guh…

TOM: How do you feel?

CROW: You ok?

MAGGIE: While, I feel cold for some strange reason, but I'm not supposed to.

BRIAN (Snapping out of it): Anything else?

(MAGGIE'S new stomach growls)

MAGGIE: What the…?

(Commercial sign)

BRIAN: I'll explain everything. We'll be back.

(BRIAN looks at TOM & CROW)

BRIAN: Well, most of us.

(BRIAN taps the light)

(As we see the planet bumper, we hear MAGGIE yell "GUUUUUUUYYYYYYYYYYYYYSSSS!")

(Commercials)

(SOL, where MAGGIE is crying, and BRIAN is trying to comfort her, the BOTS, are wisely hiding)

BRIAN: Cheer up. There's nothing to worry about. You look the same, only human.

MAGGIE: CHEER UP?! I'M NOW A WEAK HUMAN! No offense.

BRIAN: None taken, I think. But, there's things you can do that Robots can't.

MAGGIE: Like.

BRIAN: Um… your intelligence is no longer artificial.

MAGGIE (Sounding better): Really?

BRIAN: Yeah, and um, other things.

MAGGIE: Like?

BRIAN: Well, you can actually taste foods…

MAGGIE (Moving closer): Yeah?

BRIAN (Moving closer): And feel things for real, not because your sensors say so.

MAGGIE (Closer): What else?

BRIAN (Moving close): And touch…

(BRIAN & MAGGIE are about to kiss when TOM pops up)

TOM: Hey Brian, the Mads are calling.

(Sure enough, the MADS light is flashing)

(BRIAN & MAGGIE snap out of it)

MAGGIE: Um… uh…

BRIAN: Um… I better get this one.

MAGGIE: Yeah.

BRIAN & MAGGIE (Thinking): 'Oh man, am I in love?'

(BRIAN taps the light)

(CLASSROOM, where we see no one)

(SOL)

BRIAN: Huh?

CROW: What the…?

TOM: Hey Cambot, you working ok?

(CAMBOT nods as the whole screen shakes)

(CLASSROOM)

VOICE: Down here baka.

(CAMBOT pans down as we see Gatomon, only with red gloves, and where purple fur is supposed to be, its red)

(SOL)

BRIAN (The Rock): And just who in the blue hell are you?

(CLASSROOM)

GATOMON (?): I'm Dark Gatomon. I'm filling in for Ned, who's ill.

(Just then, a blonde woman appears)

WOMAN: And I'm Hikari4Takeru. QB Ted's on a date with Daisy.

(SOL)

BRIAN: H4T? Ain't you that Sorato freak?

(Just then…)

*BZZZZZZZZZT*

BRIAN: AYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!

(A bolt of lightning hits BRIAN)

(CLASSROOM, where DG is removing her paw from a lever)

DG: DON'T CALL MY SISTER A FREAK!

(SOL)

BRIAN: *COUGH* O *COUGH* k.

CROW: Wait, you're not a Gatomon that got possessed by The Phoenix Force like Jean Grey, are you?

TOM: Fanboy.

(CLASSROOM)

DG: No, I'm the real Gatomon.

H4T: My dad is a mad scientist and wanted to test an invention of his 10 years ago. It malfunctioned, and DG'S been here ever since.

(SOL)

MAGGIE: Now I remember you. Brian, you remember that site the Mads made us see?

BRIAN: Oh yeah. You're that weirdo with those crazy theories of the DD.

*BZZZZZZZZZZZZZT*

BRIAN: AYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYA!

(Another lightning bolt hits BRIAN)

(CLASSROOM, where H4T removes her hand from a lever)

H4T: SHE'S NOT WEIRD! AND HER THEORIES ARE NOT CRAZY!

(SOL)

BRIAN: *COUGHCOUGHCOUGH*

CROW: I think that's his way of saying "Okay."

(CLASSROOM)

DG (Reading a list): Okay, it says here I'm supposed to have 3 authors join you for this particular experiment.

(SOL)

TOM: Three?

BRIAN: *COUGH*

MAGGIE: I think he's saying "Why?"

(CLASSROOM)

H4T: Ned told us it was to test various reactions from authors of various styles to one fic.

(SOL)

BRIAN: What authors? What styles?

(CLASSROOM)

DG: A Taiora author, a couple switching author which you have read, and a hentai author who's work you guys are vary familiar with.

(SOL)

BRIAN: Let's see… a Taiora author… I KNOW! Taioragirl. I've read her work and found it excellent.

(CLASSROOM)

H4T: Bingo. Who else?

(SOL)

MAGGIE: Let's see… couple switcher we've read… ROBSTER80!

TOM: I got a few words with him.

CROW: Heh, heh, heh.

BRIAN: We don't abuse our gussets.

(BOTS look at BRIAN)

BRIAN: Unless their Davis.

BOTS: Ah.

(SOL)

DG: And the other?

(SOL)

TOM: Let's see, a lemon writer we've read before… there's so many.

(CLASSROOM)

H4T: Here's a hint, his story is the first one you guys read with Brian, but before you had Maggie.

(SOL)

CROW: That's easy that's… no… no… NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

(TOM starts to shake)

MAGGIE: Who?

BRIAN: SHADOW GUYVER 007!

TOM: YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGH!

*BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOM*

(TOM'S head explodes)

MAGGIE: What kind of author would make Tom explode before we go into the theatre?

(BRIAN whispers to MAGGIE)

CROW: YOU PEOPLE ARE SICK!

(CLASSROOM)

SUB MADS: Thank you.

(SOL)

MAGGIE: I feel sick…

(MAGGIE looks like she's about to throw up, BRIAN splashes her with hot water)

MAGGIE: NOW I FEEL LIKE I'M GOING TO EXPLODE!

(BRIAN splashes MAGGIE with cold water)

(MAGGIE throws up)

MAGGIE: I don't know if I should thank you, or kill you.

BRIAN: Better throwing up than blowing up.

MAGGIE: Point. Thank you.

BRIAN: You're welcome. NO!

CROW: Nuts.

(CLASSROOM)

DG: Anyway, hope you like the company. H4T?

H4T: Right.

(H4T pushes a button, then…)

(SOL, where a woman in goggles, and red spike hair, and a tank top, and kaki shorts, along with two guys. The first man is dark haired, while the other is blonde and has glasses)

WOMAN: What the…? I was writing a Taiora, when the next thing I know…

MAN #1: You write? Me too.

MAN #2: Me three.

BRIAN: Hi and welcome to the Satellite of Love, I'm Brian Smiley.

WOMAN: HEY! I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU THINK THIS IS BUB, BUT…

BRIAN: NO! It's the name of this ship.

MAN #2: What ship?

MAN #1: And why?

CROW: This ship.

TOM: Better than So Out of Luck.

AUTHORS: True.

BRIAN: This is Tom Servo.

TOM: Hello.

BRIAN: Crow T. Robot.

CROW: Hi.

BRIAN: And Maggie V.

MAGGIE: Hello.

BRIAN: And you are?

WOMAN: I'm Taioragirl, you can call me TG.

(TG eats a red pixie stick)

TG: WOOOOOOOOOO! YOUSEEILOVESURGAR,CAN'TGETENOUGHOFIT!ALTHOUGHITALWAYSMAKEMEHYPER!WOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

(ALL just look at her nervously)

BRIAN: I'm very familiar with your work. I liked "Family" and "Who Am I?"

(TG, on a sugar high, kisses BRIAN over and over again)

TG: THANK YOU!

*KISS*

TG: THANK YOU!

*KISS*

TG: THANK YOU!

*KISS*

TG: THANK YOU!

(MAGGIE gets really angry)

BRIAN: GET THIS NUT JOB OFF OF ME!

(MAN #1 and MAN #2 pull TG off of BRIAN)

TG: Got carried away. Sorry.

MAN #1: I'm Robster80.

CROW: We got one question for you?

R80: Shoot.

CROW: Having the Dark Masters be behind Ken being in love with Mimi "Pink Wedding," Kari and Matt acting really OOC in Prom Fight, and Digimon 1/2 and Sincere Hope in general. Why?

R80: Needed a reason for Ken's madness, needed villains and bash Yakaris, and it's just a crossover and one of my many couple switching fics. Relax.

CROW: Ok.

MAN #2 (Going near TG): Say, I'm a writer too, may be we can "Compare methods?"

*WHAM*

(TG hits MAN #2)

MAGGIE: And I thought Akane packed a punch.

MAN #2 (Holding his chin): Well, I'm Shadow Guyver 007.

BRIAN: The same 007 who wrote humans, Digimon, and Hormones?

007: Yeah. Why?

BRIAN (Lunging for 007): DIE YOU GONNA!

(BRIAN keeps kicking 007)

MAGGIE: HEY! HEY! SAVE IT FOR THE FIC!

(MAGGIE pulls BRIAN off of 007)

BRIAN: Ok, I'm cool.

(CLASSROOM)

H4T: Speaking of the fic…

DG: It's a special fic.

(SOL)

ALL: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

AUTHORS: Special fic?

TOM: Ether its Dr. Thinker…

AUTHORS: Who?

(BRIAN whispers to the AUTHORS)

AUTHORS: OUT POOPED SAILOR MERCURY?!

MAGGIE: Stephen Ratliff.

007: AHHHHHHHHH! THE NAME! THE NAME!

(007 gets into the fetal position)

TG, R80: Who?

(BRIAN whispers to the authors)

TG, R80: SAILOR MOON AND STAR TREK?! AND HOW OLD WAS SHE WHEN SHE COMANDED A STARSHIP?!

TOM: Or Oscar.

007: THE NAME! THE NAME! THE NAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMME!

(007 sucks his thumb)

TG, R80: Don't wanna know.

(BRIAN, out of habit, whispers to the authors)

TG, R80: HE DID WHAT WITH THE WHITE TALKING SAILOR MOON CAT?!

(CLASSROOM)

DG: It's a special Digimon lemon.

(SOL)

BRIAN: That means… no…

TOM: It can't be!

BRIAN: No!

MAGGIE: They wouldn't!

BRIAN: NO!

CROW: That's in human!

BRIAN: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

AUTHORS: What is it?

BRIAN: It's…

(Lights go off)

ALL: FANFIC SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGGGGGGGGGGGGGN!

(Door sequence)

(ALL take their seats. TG sits next to TOM, R80 sits next to TG, and 007 sits next to R80)

R80: What could it be?

BRIAN: I don't want to say anything yet. We could be wrong.

Scoring On Your Own Team

R80: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

ALL: What?

R80: DARKSTAR SHOWED ME THIS! IT'S A TAI/SORA/KARI 3 WAY!

ALL: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

BRIAN: I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT! GOD, I WISH I DIDN'T KNOW IT!

007: OOOOOO! A Taiari!

(ALL look at 007)

007: What?

(TG grabs her head)

BRIAN: TG? You ok?

TG (Still holding her head): NONONONONONONONO!

**WARNING!! This story contains incest (i.e. having sex with anyone directly related to you).

TOM (Sarcastic): NO!

If you don't like it, bite me

CROW: It's not fun.

and don't read it.**

BRIAN: Like we have a choice.

(R80 is about to leave)

BRIAN: You do, she'll cut off the oxygen.

R80: So?

BRIAN: Or air the best of Davis or Jun.

(R80 takes his seat)

Scoring On Your Own Team

By: Darkstar

TG (Speaking like a 5-year-old): Who's Dawkstwr?

TOM: TG?

MAGGIE: You ok?

TG: TG? I'm Kawi.

ALL: ACK!

CROW: Great, hyper girl who is also a skitzo.

BRIAN: How old are you?

KARI (Holding up 5 fingers): This many.

ALL: ACK!

CROW: What's more scaring to a five-year-old? A lemon, or a Davis-a-thon?

TOM: It's a toss up.

************************************************

TOM: Twinkle, twinkle, little star.

007: What are you doing?

CROW: It's what we do to keep our sanity.

R80: It doesn't work then?

ALL: HEY!

KARI: I don't feel too good.

(KARI grabs her head)

KARI (Sounding like an adult): No, no. This isn't for little girls.

BRIAN: Kari?

KARI: Let me introduce my self, I'm Tina.

ALL: TINA?!

TINA: I'm the control personality, or the one that knows what's going on at all times. You see, TG had one too many sugar highs, and created us.

ALL: "Us?"

TINA: Kari you met. There's Blonde, a lemon lover. Tommy, a Taito fan. Bob, a rather temperamental individual.

007: Oh boy.

Tai trudged home from one of his soccer games. Not twenty feet from them was a new kid on the team, and he hadn't shown his true potential in the game.

007: For he didn't take his steroids that day.

BRIAN: You catch on quick.

007: Wait a minute, this the same SOL that fell apart on SCI-FI?

TOM: Yeah.

CROW: You're on Sci-fi right now.

007: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

He did the one thing that can ruin your reputation as a soccer player.

R80: He refused to wear Nikes.

He scored on his own net. And it was that goal that caused them to lose.

TOM: That, and the fact the couch kept saying "You win, and some friends break my legs."

Tai didn't like to talk to people who others had already marked as a person to stay away from. He felt sorry for the kid, but he wasn't going to jeopardize his position on the team.

TINA: Benchwarmer.

BRIAN: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

TINA: You liked that?

BRIAN: Of course.

(MAGGIE is getting a little angry)

He walked home, slightly limping from a trip

TOM (Stoner): That was one cool trip man.

ALL (Stoners): WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

one of the other players had given him.

BRIAN: For his birthday.

"Tai, hang on!"

CROW (Tai): To what? I'm in the middle of the sidewalk.

Tai turned around to see Sora running after him. She jumped into his arms and

kissed him hard.

TINA: OOOOOO! A Taiora. TG is going to love this.

(TINA grabs her head)

TG: What? Wha… OOOOOOOO! A TAIORA!

R80: Welcome back TG.

"Good game," she said.

"Yeah, thanks for the trip Sora," he said, rubbing his ankle.

"Sorry about that," she apologized. "I'll remind our coach never to set up a match between our teams ever again."

BRIAN: Wait! They were on the same team in 01, and Sora was in tennis during 02.

TOM & CROW: FANBOY! FANBOY! FANBOY!

007: What the…?

BRIAN: They do this whenever I bring up a Digimon reference.

AUTHORS: Oh.

"Yeah, you do that," Tai told her.

"I said I was sorry!" Sora protested.

"It's not that," Tai sighed. "I thought we were gonna be alone tonight, but

Yolei was busy, so I have to look after Kari. Besides," he added, "you've got

R80 (Singing): You babe.

Mimi."

007: Mimi, mi. That's all you think about.

"Nope, Mimi's got Matt tonight," Sora sighed.

BRIAN: UGH! 01 had better evidence of Koumi than Mimato.

MAGGIE: Yeah, I mean Izzy and Mimi falling on top of each other. And in 02, who did Izzy wanted to call first when he discovered a Digiport in America? Mimi.

TOM & CROW: FANCOUPLE! FANCOUPLE! FANCOUPLE!

BRIAN & MAGGIE: WE ARE NOT A COUPLE!

AUTHORS: Huh?

MAGGIE: They do this whenever we make a Digimon reference at the same time.

"Oh well, maybe next time. You don't look like you're ready for action anyway,

(BRIAN grabs CROW'S beak shut)

007 (Tai): Not too worry, I have a little blue pill…

BRIAN: STOP RIGHT THERE!

with that leg."

TOM (Tai): I left my good leg at home.

"I'll see you some other time then?" Tai asked hopefully.

"Of course," Sora told him.

R80: But she didn't mean it.

"Just don't get too worried. I have a feeling your

night with Kari will be fun."

ALL: 0_o

BRIAN: How in the world would she know what's coming?

R80: Don't ask what goes through Darkstar's mind. He thinks ANY lemon is a good lemon.

Tai didn't know what she meant exactly.

ALL: But we do.

He roughly guessed it had something to do with the fact that it had been a long time since he and Kari had been together and talked.

CROW: So, that's what they call it now a days?

BRIAN: CROW!

TG: Is he always like this?

BRIAN: Yes.

TG: Oh.

It also might of had something to do with

007: A mind sicker than mine.

Chaos's absentness.

ALL: Who?

R80: He did this series where…

BRIAN: Don't wanna know.

R80: But…

BRIAN: Rob, if a whole series had a part that was, oh say a Daijun, would you read it.

R80: I see your point.

He didn't want to try and guess.

TG: So he used a lifeline.

"Hey, Tai, good game!"

CROW (Tai): That's because the other team threw the game. I had nothing to do with it.

someone from the side of him yelled.

Tai turned to see Davis looking at him strangely. Tai walked over to him with a

mock smile on.

MAGGIE: And his intelligence off.

"Come to congratulate me on a complete failure?" Tai chuckled.

TOM: Only if he means naming a worthy successor to him at the season premiere of Digimon.

"If you mean scoring with Sora, then yes," Davis joked. "But if you mean the

game, you did really well."

CROW (Davis): Because I bet on you to loose… AND YOU DID! WOOOOOOO! I'M RICH!

"Thanks Davis," Tai said. "But I've gotta be getting home. Kari and I have to share

007: The love?

TG: Our lunch?

R80: Pizza?

TOM: Our toys?

MAGGIE: The remote?

BRIAN: The TV?

CROW: The bed?

BRIAN: CROW!

the apartment."

EVERYONE: Oh.

Davis's unsettled look deepened. "Just be careful," he said. He walked away, and

Tai was left confused.

ALL: What the…?

MAGGIE: Ok, he goes from being his dopey self to being considerate?

R80: Ds wrote this fic called the "True Davis Motomya," where Davis…

BRIAN: Don't wanna know.

R80: But…

BRIAN: If it comes from a Taiari author, I don't wanna know.

"That's two weird things about tonight," Tai sighed. "Maybe I should look for

Chaos instead. Sounds less dangerous."

R80: And disgusting.

He sighed and walked on.

BRIAN: As we walked out.

(EVERYONE leaves the theatre)

(Door sequence)

(SOL, where BRIAN is talking to R80, who is holding a drink and 007, who is also holding a drink)

BRIAN: Where did you two get the drinks?

007: I got them from this bottle I found.

CROW (Off screen): Ok, who took my love potion?

ALL: WHAT?!

(BOTS come on screen)

CROW: Someone took my potion.

BRIAN: When did you make it?

TOM: He did it after this Matt/TK lemon to prove that it was nothing more than an anti- impotence liquid.

MAGGIE: And…?

TOM: He fell in love with Cambot.

(R80 and 007 spit out their drinks)

CROW: Relax. It takes a while to kick in.

R80 & 007: That's good.

(TG walks on screen)

TG: Hi guys.

(R80 and 007 see TG)

R80: Hello beautiful.

007: I saw her first pal.

R80: NO, I DID!

007: NO!

R80: WHY YOU…

TG: UGH! I NEED A DRINK!

(TG drinks the love potion)

BRIAN: NO! THAT'S CROW LOVE POTION!

(TG sees BRIAN)

TG: Hello big boy.

ALL: Uh-oh.

007&R80: SHE'S MINE!

TG: Nuh-uh. I'm in love with this guy.

BRIAN: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

R80: Let's kill him and fight over her later.

007: Ok.

BRIAN: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

(BRIAN runs with the AUTHORS running after him, and BRIAN climbs the tallest structure while the AUTHORS are jumping up and down)

BRIAN: NOW I KNOW HOW RANMA FEELS!

CROW: MENTION THE MOST UNSTIMULATING/SICKEST THING KNOWN TO MAN! IT'LL CURE THEM!

BRIAN: JUN MYTOMIA NAKED ON A COLD DAY! JUN MYTOMIA NAKED ON A COLD DAY! JUN MYTOMIA NAKED ON A COLD DAY!

TG & R80 (Snapping out of it): EEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

007: SHE'S MINE BRIAN! NO ONE ELSES!

TOM: HE'S STILL AFFECTED!

MAGGIE: He's a lemon author, what do you expect?

BRIAN: It's a long shot, but… MATT AND SORA MAKING OUT! MATT AND SORA MAKING OUT! MATT AND SORA MAKING OUT!

007 (Snapping out of it): EEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

BRIAN: Phew.

TG: Who…?

R80: It was the one with the beak's potion.

007: LET'S GET HIM! AND HIS FRIENDS TOO!

BOTS: AHHHHHHHHHHH!

(BOTS climb up the structure)

MAGGIE: Gee, they got mad quick.

BRIAN: You got 3 Taiora fans reading a Taiari, of course they're going to get mad at someone quickly, given the right excuse.

(Commercial sign)

BRIAN: Could one of you push the button?

R80: I got it.

BRIAN: Thanks. We'll be back.

(R80 taps the light)

(As we see planet bumper, we hear the AUTHORS yelling in anger at BRIAN & THE BOTS)

(Commercials)