Digimon Fan Fiction ❯ An Unexected Death ❯ No... ( Chapter 4 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Author's Notes: The song I used, "Darkness and Shadows," was
written by my friend DarkSaint (AKA "do-not-use-my-name-in-there-


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Author's Notes: The song I used, "Darkness and
Shadows," was written by my friend DarkSaint (AKA
"do-not-use-my-name-in-there-you-moron!") As an after thought - same
as the first three - no flaming me, only constructive criticism. Anyway...shall
we end my senseless ranting and go ON WITH THE FREAKING STORY! …Thank you, and
have a nice day ~ Britts





Fuming,
TK paced in front of the group that had formed in one of the hospital's many
waiting rooms. He was mad. He was above and beyond mad. But...he was also very
sad...and terrified. Why hadn't Matt told him what was going on? They could
always talk to each other. So why had TK's older brother kept this from him?
His pacing faltered slightly but he regained his composure before anyone could
come to his aid. He turned to look at the rest of the Digidestined.

They
looked almost as bad as he was feeling. Hardly any of them looked rested. Mimi
was leaning somewhat heavily on Joe who sat on her right and looked like he was
going to have a panic attack...or something along those lines. Sora was staring
off into space, Kari was biting her nails, a rarity for her, and Izzy looked
like he had just woken up from one Hell of a nightmare. Tai, however, seemed
the most out of character.

He
was bent forward, his head resting in his hands. His elbows were in turn
resting on his knees and he looked worried sick. TK knew Matt and Tai were
close but it was still strange to see the "leader" of the
Digidestined reduced to such an anxious teenager. It was true that Matt could
be jumpy every now and then but Tai...never! The soccer player looked like he'd
been punched in the stomach. TK almost took pity on him...almost.

"I
want to know," TK started coldly as everyone looked up at him, "How
long have you all known?"

Tai
was the first to respond to the boy's icy tone. "We found out yesterday
after school. He was going to tell you..." The older boy found it
impossible to continue. His vocal chords seemed to freeze and he looked down at
the floor again.

"Well
he didn't. No help from any of you," TK said with a glare that seemed to
pierce the very soul of everyone present. His voiced suddenly took on a jagged
edge. "You didn't tell me. None of you did. My brother is DYING and you
didn't tell me." Tears started streaming from the troubled azure eyes. His
voice hitched suddenly. "Why? Why didn't you tell me?" The boy paced
to the nearest wall and slammed his fist against the unyielding plaster.
"Why didn't he tell me?! Why?! Why?! WHY?!" his fist pounding
against the wall for emphasis of each question. TK's shoulders started to shake
violently as the sobs that had been suppressed suddenly started to wrack his
small frame.

Tai
watched as the younger boy slowly dropped to the floor against the wall. He
couldn't take this...this pain anymore. He stood up and walked quietly over to
the distressed youth who was still whispering his mantra. Tai blinked back
tears that wanted to be shed and wrapped his arms around the fallen child. TK
started and seemed to want to jump away but decided better of it and relaxed
into the arms that encircled his shoulders.

"It'll
be alright...It'll be okay...Sssshhhh...He'll be alright..." words of
comfort met deaf ears as Tai rocked the other boy back and forth.

*
* * * *
*

Matt
sat upright in his hospital bed. The doctors had removed the respirator seeing
that he was conscious and was able to breathe on his own.

He
knew that the doctors and various nurses were doing all they could to
help...no…save him, but he also knew that nothing they did was working.

His
parents were in the middle of a heated argument. Amazingly, it wasn't between
each other.

"More
treatments?!" his mother cried. "None of the ones you've used have
helped!"

"All
that's happened is they either have no affect or they make him worse," his
father added.

"We
know as much but we want to try a different approach," one of the doctors,
an older guy that somehow managed to keep his thinning brown hair. Matt nearly
laughed at the thought of the guy using some kind of strange hair renewal
product as well as various dyes.

"A
different approach? How many different approaches have you tried?!" Matt's
mother answered hotly.

"We're
going to give him an experimental treatment that will hopefully work and if
that has no effect then the only other option is chemotherapy," the other
doctor, a woman, replied.

He
looked up at the arguing adults. He was sick of them talking like he wasn't
here. He was sick and tired of all the tests and treatments that time after
time refused to work. Matt took a deep breath and spoke up.

"No."

He
watched as everyone in the room turned to him in unison. It might have been
comical if what was happening wasn't so dramatic. His father recovered from the
shock of his son speaking first.

"No
what, Matt?"

"No
more tests. No more treatments. No more."

"But...why?"
his mother asked.

"Because
I am sick of them all. It's obvious that none of them are working and I REALLY
don't want to spend the rest of my shortened life stuck in a place like this
with nothing but white walls to look at. I want to be out...away...even if it
is to be the death of me..."

After
his short little speech, Matt looked down at his clasped hands that rested in
his lap. He bit back the tears that were once again threatening to spill from
his sapphire eyes. He looked up and was met with similarly colored eyes.
TK…Matt thought as he looked into his younger brother's eyes.

"Then...where
do you want to be Matt?" the younger boy asked.

Matt
looked out the lone window in his room at the distant mountains and smiled.

* * *
* * *

A
few days later, after they got the stuff at the hospital cleared up, Matt was
back at home. He wasn't necessarily doing much better, but he was home...and he
was packing so he could leave. He was rummaging around his room for the things
that he'd want with him at the house in the country. He only took what he
thought he would need...I'm most likely not coming back, he thought bitterly.

Matt
always liked it at his grandmother's house. It was far away from
everything... Well, almost
everything...and he felt that he could just forget all the problems in his life
when he was out there. When his grandmother died a few years ago, she left the
house to the family. The teen was happy she did and that they hadn't sold it.
He was so deep in his memories and feelings that he didn't notice when someone
walked into his room.

"So
you're leaving, huh?" a gentle tenor voice inquired from behind the blond.
Matt whirled to face the newcomer.

"Oh...Hi
Tai..." he replied softly putting some more things into his bags to take.
"Yeah, I'm leaving."

"I
guess this means that you aren't gonna be at school for the History test
then..." his voice trailed off.

"Yeah...guess
not..." Matt answered, picking up a picture to put with the rest of the
luggage. It wasn't really just one picture though. It was a collage of many -
at least 8 - of him and the other Digidestined. His eyes focused on each one in
turn. The memories of each shot flashed behind his eyes before he, blinking
back tears, placed it alongside his clothes and Walkman. Matt sighed. The
silence between the two friends was becoming oppressive. The blond youth turned
to face his amber-eyed friend. What he saw surprised him - he saw tears.

Taichi
Kamiya of all people was crying. In front of him, Yamato Ishida, one of his most
prominent rivals in the entire school. Matt was taken aback. He knew Tai cared
but he also knew that his friend wasn't the type that let his weaknesses show
unless he was under a great deal of emotional stress. Apparently, he was.

"Am
I gonna ever see you again?" Tai asked softly, closing his eyes and
lowering his head.

"I
- I don't know..." Matt answered truthfully. He wanted to believe that
he'd see his wild-haired comrade again but he somehow knew that this was the
last chance he'd get to talk to him.

Tai
nodded and sat on the bed careful not to upset anything that was resting on it.
"You know, it's strange," he said after awhile. "Usually I'm the
one to go ahead into the unknown and here you are going first..." His
voice broke on the last. He took a deep breath and continued. "Why is this
happening to you? Why not someone else?" he asked harshly.

"Because
it's my turn," Matt answered him softly.

"Your
turn my ass," Tai retorted as he stood up. "You're only - what?
Fifteen? Sixteen?"

"Sixteen."

"This
shouldn't be happening! You have your whole life ahead of you!"

"I
HAD my whole life ahead of me."

"Will
you stop acting so gothic?!"

"No!"

"Why
not?!"

"Because
wha t I'm saying is the TRUTH!"

"Damn
it, Matt!" Tai said placing his hands on his hips and turning to face the
other who had his frail arms crossed over his chest. Heated, exasperated amber
eyes met hooded, irritated azure. Tai sighed, throwing his arms up in the air
as he turned his back to Matt. "I give up. I really do..."

"Don't..."

"Don't
what?"

"Don't...don 't
give up."

Tai
turned and looked at his companion and now it was his turn to be surprised.
Matt looked terrified...desperate...not to mention that there were tears in his
eyes now.

"Matt…?"

The
other boy pursed his lips and looked away. The unshed tears fell freely down
his alabaster cheeks, staining the pale flesh with obvious pain. "Don't
give up...never give up..."

"What?
Why? What do you mean?" Tai asked, knowing he probably sounded like an
idiot with his questions but once again he was surprised; Matt didn't throw any
verbal barbs his way.

Matt
wrapped his arms around himself and shivered. "If you give up, you lose
sight of hope. And if you lose sight of hope, you lose all sense of who you
are..." Matt trailed off as more tears fell from his eyes. He held himself
tighter and refused to look his friend in the eyes.

Tai
walked over to him and placed gentle hands on his friend's shoulders, hoping to
relieve some of the pain he saw in the other youth's eyes. At his touch, Matt
shivered again with restrained grief and looked into his friend's questioning
eyes at last.

"I
never want you to lose sight of who you are. That's why I've always admired
you..."Matt once again trailed off and closed his eyes. Tai's throat
constricted as he himself held back more tears. He wrapped his arms around his
fragile companion.

"I'm
so scared...I - I don't..." Matt's voice hitched as he returned Tai's
gesture. The blond let all his barriers break as he was held close in a
comforting embrace and sobbed on Tai's shoulder.

* * *
* * *

Mr.
Ishida watched as Matt picked at the food in front of him. The boy's appetite
had continued to diminish especially after the stay at the hospital. Amazingly,
however, Matt seemed the most alive here. Away from the city with it's
fluorescent lighting and car horns. Away from the endless treatments and
doctors. The doctors...

The
very thought of the white robed scientists that were STILL at a loss of
what was truly sending Matt through a physical Hell made the older man's blood
boil. His son was dying and no one knew what to do about it. He, himself, had
not a clue, which made the situation in Mr. Ishida's mind even worse.

"Matt?
Is something wrong?" Ms. Takiashi asked of her older son who started and
looked up at her.

"N-no… Nothings wrong...I'm just not very
hungry," the blond murmured.

"Oh,"
the woman answered, not really knowing what else to say.

The
meal lasted for another five minutes with random conversations about school,
teachers, friends, enemies, and life in particular. Matt excused himself a
little while after that, cleaning his dishes and walking up to his room.

* * *
* * *

TK
watched as his brother left the dining room and slowly trudged up to his room. This
can't be good, he thought. His brother had barely touched his food and it
looked like he hadn't slept in days. TK's brows furrowed as he tried to
decipher his brother's strange actions of late. Excusing himself as well,
leaving his parents a little less than completely confused, he headed up to Matt's
room.

Opening
the door softly so to not shake his older sibling from his reverie, TK entered
the room. It's gotta be the most comfortable room here, he thought as he
took in the spacious - or as spacious as a room can get in a country home -
room and was slightly envious that his brother got such good accommodations but
at the same time was glad the teen did. There was a balcony overlooking the
valley below and it had a wonderful view of the night sky. One could stand out
there and simply be amazed at the vastness. This was how he found Matt -
standing on the balcony, his arms resting on the rail and his shoulders
hunched, staring up at the stars.

"Beautiful...aren't
they?"

TK
jumped. He hadn't realized that Matt had heard him enter and said as much. Dropping
his gaze and turning slightly, Matt replied.

"Brother's
intuition? Sixth Sense? Who knows."

TK
laughed harshly and walked up to stand next to the taller youth. "Why
didn't you eat anything tonight?"

"Like
I said down there; I wasn't hungry."

"Bull!
I know you Matt, and you aren't acting normally."

"Since
when have I ever acted 'normally?'" Matt asked as he averted his gaze to
the night sky. Quieter, he added, "Especially now..."

TK
looked at his older brother. What is going on with you? part of him asked
as the other part scolded, saying, He's DYING you nitwit! The
13-year-old turned to face his older brother who remained profile.
"Matt…" he started trying to get the young musician's attention. The
younger boy's efforts were rewarded when Matt turned to face him as well.
"Matt, I know what's immediately wrong, we all do, but that doesn't
explain why you all of a sudden are...well...I don't know..."

"Acting
like I want to die?" Matt finished for his younger brother who was
fumbling with the words.

"Well...yeah,"
he answered.

Matt
turned away. He couldn't look into TK eyes anymore. They were too bright, too
innocent, Hell, too full of life. "I...I don't know...I'm just tired...so
very tired..." Matt's voice went into a whisper and stepped back to lean
against the doorframe. TK started and rushed to him.

"Matt?
Are you okay?" Matt looked up once again to meet his brother's blue eyes.
Matt's eyes filled with tears at the sound of his brother's caring voice. I
can't cry...not in front of him, he thought as he rubbed his eyes and made
to stand up.

He couldn't.

Oh
shit, he
thought. He tried again.

Still
couldn't. Mentally kicking himself, he looked back up to his brother's eyes.

"Help
me," he whispered hoarsely as he stretched out a pale, shaking hand. TK
frowned and grasped his older brother's hand and pulled him to his feet, which
wasn't an easy job; Matt was practically dead weight.

"Where
do you want to go?" the smaller boy asked as he draped his older brother's
arm around his shoulder.

"Pretty
much anywhere but the bed," Matt answered. "I've been lying in those
things for far to long. Somewhere where I can still see the sky."

"How's
the desk?"

"You
want me to sit on the desk?" Matt asked incredulously.

"No…I
want you to sit in the chair at the desk," TK chuckled.

Matt
smiled, "Oh...I see, I see..."

TK
helped his frail brother and gently lowered him into the seat. Matt sighed as
if the short walk had taken all his strength. The blond teen looked over his
shoulder and smiled slightly when he could see the night sky. The stars
glittered back at him. He looked back up at his younger brother, "Thank
you."

"Hey
no problem," TK managed to croak out, tears starting to form once again in
his eyes. "Hey, uh, do you want anything else?"

Matt
thought awhile before responded quietly, "A piece of paper and a
pen."

Confused,
TK nodded and fetched them and gave them to his brother. Looking up at the
clock he realized that is was almost 1:00 in the morning. He bit his lip and
looked back at his brother. "I..."

"I
know. Go to bed."

"I
don't wanna leave you..."

"You
won't. You're just across the hall and dad and mom's rooms are down the hall.
I'll be fine. Now go to bed," the older brother scolded.

Smiling,
TK nodded and headed toward the door when he was stopped by his brother's call,
"TK..."

The
younger boy turned and looked at his brother who looked somewhat distressed.
"What is it? Something wrong?"

"N-no…it's
just that...I wanted to say...that I, uh...I - "

"Matt…I
know."

Matt
closed his eyes tight and bit back a sob that tried to force itself out of his
throat. TK walked quickly back to him and wrapped his arms around his brother.

"I
love you Onniichan..." the small boy whispered as he let the tears fall.

"I
know, kid, I know," the older boy whispered as he wrapped his thin arms
around the younger boy. "Look, I know you're scared - so am I - but right
now I need you to be the strong one, okay?"

"Okay..."

Matt
smiled and hugged his brother closer. This is the last time I'll be able to, he
thought sadly. Rocking TK in his arms he murmured, "No matter what
happens, I'll always be here for you, okay? I'll never leave you."

TK
nodded and hugged his brother before he stood up. Smiling through his tears, he
asked, "So, I'll see you tomorrow morning?"

Matt
hesitated, but concluded, "Yes, you'll see me."

TK's
smile broadened and he hugged his older brother before leaving the room. Matt
smiled and then looked back out the window to the sky. Closing his eyes, he
turned and began to write.

After
about an hour and a half, he stood up and shakily got into bed.

* * *
* * *

The
next morning, Mr. Ishida stretched and looked out the window from his bed. The
sky swirled with gray clouds. Storm today, he thought as he got up and dressed.
He went downstairs and met his ex-wife down there.

"Where's
Matt and TK?"

"I'm
guessing that they're still asleep," she answered. "They were still
awake when I went to bed."

Mr.
Ishida nodded and moved to the coffee machine to get himself a much-needed cup.
All of a sudden, an anguished cry rang through the small country house, which
caused the two adults in the kitchen to stop what they were doing. The man's
cup shattered on the floor as it fell. The woman cried out, "TK!"

Running
up the stairs, the came into the boy's room. He wasn't there.

"TK?"

"I-I'm
in here," can the muffled reply.

With
heavy hearts, they walked into their older son's room. There they saw an image
they hoped that they would never see. TK was on his knees with face hidden by
his hands as he rested them on Matt's bed. As they looked on, they saw what was
wrong. Matt lay, pale, silent, and unmoving, in the center of his bed.

TK
turned with a tear-streaked face and looked up at his parents. "He's gone.
He's gone!" he cried out as he started sobbing again. In his hands he
clasped a crumpled sheet of paper.

"TK,"
Ms. Takiashi whispered as she walked to him. She wrapped her arms around her
son and Mr. Ishida followed her.

TK
thrust the paper into his father's hands. "Read," came the quiet
command. Looking down at his son and ex-wife then at his lifeless older son
then back at the paper and started to read aloud.

Life
it seems

To many's belief

Just
a dance to waltz right by

But
life to me

Day
after day

Is
a knife slashing through my side

All
my years I have learned

That
though I pray and hope

I
can not run away

The
night shall come

The
moon, she will not fall

Until
He leads my soul away

And
the rain will fall

The
thunder storm

Lightning
crash through the sky

While
the rage burns on

The
tears descend

A
cry pierce through the night

But
I know that you are there

Through
the darkness and shadows

Dawn
rises in the east

Clouds
drift in

Surrounding
a young, innocent life

Grey
heart full of

"My
God..." Mr. Ishida whispered under his breath and stared at his silent
son.

"Wh-where's
the rest of it?" his ex-wife asked.

"He
never got to finish it..." TK whispered as his tears stopped falling, his
body and mind going into shock.

The
piece of paper slipped from Mr. Ishida's slack fingers and he let it flutter to
the wooden floor. Walking up to his motionless son, he felt the cold feeling
set in even as hot tears burned his life-worn cheeks. My God, he
thought, Matt… He dropped to his knees next to the still teen. Tears
dropped onto the crisp bed sheets. He clutched Matt's cold hand in his own and
ran stiff fingers through the boy's tousled blond hair. No…