Digimon Fan Fiction ❯ An Unexected Death ❯ Moving towards a new future... ( Chapter 5 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Author's Notes: Okay


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Author's Notes:
Okay! Before I go into the
classic rambling of how I know what you're thinking, first, I wanna say this:
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY DARKSAINT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "Belated" by two months...
O.o;; Gomen nasai! Can you ever forgive me? *Gives chibi-eyes* I didn't plan on writing anymore to this but DS (aka
"Don't-You-Dare-Put-My-Name-In-There-You-Moron!") commented that she
wanted me to finish writing a chapter of a ficcie by her birthday. HELPFUL reviews would be much appreciated! Oh, on a side note, I DO NOT know how the
Japanese carry out their mourning/burial ceremonies. I do not live in Japan. I
do not have any Japanese friends that I could ask. So, don't flame me 'cause I'm a stupid American. 'Kay?
Kay. Oh...maybe I should warn
ya'll - more cursing, a Gothic TK, endnotes (Yes! ENDNOTES! You know, the
ones with the lil [#] thingies?), and SHOUNEN AI hintings. *GAS-coughchokegagsputter-P!* Nothing really major though...don't flame
me: I'll post it on my YAOI shrine to
be public ally laughed at. *Cackles*
You've been forewarned. Read at your
own risk! Personally, I think that this
was the best installment of the series.
I actually needed a Kleenex for the last section. Well, enough of my ranting, ne? Helpful criticism is MUCH appreciated! ^_~ Ja ~ Britts



Oh,
by the way...********s separate scenes and exit flashbacks while ~*~*~*~*~s
enter and separate flashbacks.







Tai
walked through his bedroom door and into the hall that led to the kitchen. The History test he failed miserably seemed
so...mundane now. In fact, everything
seemed mundane compared to the past few events. God, why am I thinking like this? Nothing's REALLY changed, he thought as he sat on the couch in
front of the TV. Oh, but it has... His father glanced at him and quickly
averted his eyes back to the folded newspaper he had been reading. Looking at his father, he thought, I told
you what was wrong when TK called from the hospital. You were shocked then...probably still are... That's why you can't talk to me, isn't
it? I was shocked when I found out
too. No…I died when he told us...Matt
and I...we were friends but...It's as if we were more...

~ * ~ * ~

Two
months ago, Tai had walked up to his friend in a huff and demanded, "Why
Sora?"

"What?"
Matt looked up from where he was tuning his guitar.

"Why
did you pick Sora? Of all
people..."

"Because."

"'Because'
why?"
"You
jealous?"

"Of
her or of you?" the only response was an evasive shrug. "Look, she's been my best friend since
we were little. I...I guess I'm kind of
protective of her...ya know?"

"Uh-huh..."
Matt replied as he placed the guitar in its case, careful not to scratch the
red paint on the precious instrument.

"Well,
it's obvious you like her, but..."

"I
don't love her."

"Yeah...waitaminute...YOU
ADMIT TO IT?!"

"Before
you pound my face in, listen first."

"...Okay."

"Thank
you."

"Your
we lcome," Tai sneered.

Matt
sighed and continued, "Sora and I do like each other, like you said, but
neither of us is making as much commitment as would be expected." Tai made as if to reply but Matt held up a
finger, which quickly silenced him.
"And there's a reason behind it, but neither one of us will tell
you what it is. The main thing is that
we...I...need comfort right now...and she was the most willing to give it
without question."

"So...I
take it you aren't having s--"

"No! Where'd you hear that?!"

"Around..."
Tai answered as he looked at the floor and scuffed his sneakered feet.

"Ah..."
Matt answered, nodding. "Well, we
aren't and definitely won't be."
Then with a faint smile, "So...you still have a chance. You mean more to me than she ever
could..."

Tai
blinked a few times then rubbed his eyes and muttered, "You mean to tell
me that you love..." Tai shook his head.
"I hope you know that it's very hard to tell when you're serious or
not."

At
this, Matt threw his head back and laughed.
It took him awhile to calm down enough to say, "I know it is, I
pride myself on it. Just pretend that I
was joking; you're head will hurt less."
He laughed a little more as he threw an arm around his friend. "Come on...it's the weekend and I'm
unbelievably bored. Let's go do
something."

Tai
rolled his eyes and sighed before walking out the door with his friend.

~ * ~ * ~

A
week or two later, they were in another one of their -
monthly?...weekly?...daily?! - arguments....

"And
tell me...WHY should I listen to you?!"

"Because
I'm RIGHT!"

"You're
ALWAYS right...aren't you?"

"Where
you're concerned, yes."

"Ah...so
THAT'S it, huh? Well, ya know
what?"

Sarcastically,
"No…what?"

A
pause to fume, then, "...Ugh...Damn you!"

Shocked
at the minor blow it made to his ego, "That's it?"

"I'm
too frustrated right now to come with anything better," he huffed and
turned around.

The
other rolled his amber eyes and muttered, "Will wonders never
cease...?"

He
whipped around and demanded, "What?
That YOU can render me speechless?"

"Yeah."

A
long pause, then quietly, "You don't have to make me angry to do that you
know..."

"Oh
really? Hn…ya could've fooled me."

His
stubborn friend lowered his eyes and whispered, "You wouldn't have been
the first I've deceived...Tai..." he took a deep breath and stated,
"I'm sorry."

Tai
stared, awestruck, at his friend. Did I
hear him right?! "Matt…?"

"Tai...I'm
sorry for being a pain in the ass and I'm sorry for anything else I've ever
done to make you hate me..." Matt collapsed onto the couch behind
him. "It's just
that...I...I..."

"Hey..."
Tai breathed as he sat down next to his friend. "Why so apologetic all of a sudden?"

"I..."
Matt began as he looked up at his friend.
He struggled to keep the tears from revealing his pent-up emotions. "I can't tell you...at least...not now. I can't..."

"Why
not?"

"I
just can't. Please Tai, don't
pry..."

"Alright...I
won't...Hey, I gotta g--"

"Tai?"

"...Yeah?"

Matt
looked up, and asked, "What would you do...if I started crying right here
and now...?"

Taken
aback, he replied, "I'm not sure.
Cry and we'll see what happens."
Matt lowered his head and his hands came up to cover his eyes. His shoulders began to shake with violent
sobs.

Tai,
startled, shaken and overall dumbfounded, mechanically wrapped his arms around
his friend. He felt the other teenager
lean into the embrace. He pressed his
lips against his friend's forehead and whispered quiet words to soothe the
tormented soul.

Matt's
tears eventually desiccated and he was lulled to sleep by his friend's touch
and whispered words of comfort. Tai ran
his fingers through his friend's silken tresses before looking at his
face. The pale skin was streaked
tears. The young man reached forward
and gently rubbed away the crystalline stains.

"Whatever
pains you Matt…don't hide it from me...not anymore...I'm here...and I always
will be..."

* * * * *

Tai
could feel the anguish wash over him once again. The youth rubbed his eyes and swiped at the tears before they
marked his cheeks, a desperate attempt to keep his cool exterior. You knew even back then...didn't you
Matt? God, it's only 10 in the morning...I
can't cry now...

He sat down and ran his hands through his hair as he
turned to look out the window. The
mountains were veiled in the early-morning fog, giving them an ethereal
appearance. I wonder how he's doing,
Tai thought.

"You
thinking about him again?" a feminine voice asked from beside him.

Turning
from the window, Tai found himself face-to-face with his younger sister. Her amber eyes, so much like his, were
troubled.

"Yeah...I
am..." Tai commented, trying to sound nonchalant, but not quite
succeeding. "I woke up this
morning from a nightmare - that I can't remember now," he said, cutting
Kari off before she could ask what it was about. "And I haven't gotten rid of this feeling that something
bad's gonna happen..."

"You
think it has something to do with Matt?"

"It
might...no - it definitely does - but...I dunno...everything's jumbled and I
can't think straight..."

Kari pursed her lips and looked at the table,
thinking. She looked up and made to
comment but was rudely interrupted by the ringing of the phone. Tai groaned and walked over to the small
table that the household menace rested upon.
Picking up the earpiece Tai answered it, "Hello...Yes, this is
he..."

Kari
watched in confusion as her older brother's face paled from the healthy bronze
complexion to a pasty white in seconds.
The receiver dropped from dead fingers and he slumped to the floor,
mouth moving but forming no audible words.
The young teen rushed to her brother's side as he began shaking and
rocking back and forth. "Tai? Tai!
Snap out of it! What's
wrong?" she asked. When her
brother gave no response, she grabbed the phone off the floor. "Hello? Who is this?" she demanded.

"This
is Takeru…Hikari?"

"Yeah?"

"What
happened to Tai?"

"Maybe
you should tell me." Her only answer
was a cold, dead silence on the other end.
Dismissing the shiver that ran down her spine she asked, "TK?"

"…It's
Matt…he…he's dead, Kari. He passed away
last night."

Kari
was stunned speechless and trembled at the unfeeling voice from the other
line. She gently placed the phone back
on the floor and wrapped her arms around her now hysterical older brother. Burying her face in his mass of hair, she
wept as he sobbed into her shoulder.
They held each other, looking for comfort, but finding little. Oh God…what next?

* * * * *

The
sorrow and pity is overwhelming, thought Takeru as he stood in the cemetery with
the rest of the black-clad mourners. I
wonder how many of these people actually KNEW my brother… His eyes moved from one face to another,
recognizing some and dismissing others as random fan-girls and -boys. The band members were there out of
"devotion" to their lead singer. No,
TK thought with a barely concealed sneer, Their FORMER lead singer. Skipping over other such… "friends"…TK came
to the rest of the DigiDestined who were also dressed in appropriate black
attire.

The
mothers and daughters held onto their husbands, boyfriends, or each other as
the fathers and sons stood either stone-faced or stared off into space as tears
painted their cheeks. Those without
umbrellas were becoming thoroughly drenched by the onslaught of rain. "Fashionably gothic, but no less
depressing," as Matt would say…

Tilting
his face upwards he closed his eyes and let the rain spatter against his
face. The Heavens are crying…I
wonder why considering they have him now, he thought bitterly. Returning his gaze to the ceremony, he
noticed no one had scorned his reaction to the drawn out speech the priest was
making. I'm not trying to look
bored, Hell no…it's just…why does this have to be open to everyone? God, some of these people are just here
because they saw it in the paper. And
the priest doesn't even know who we all are.
All he knows is that we're paying him.
None of them give a damn… Why do
I feel so fucking cold?

TK
shivered and looked at his parents. His
mother stood dabbing her eyes with a Kleenex. Tears of a broken woman…a broken mother. Mr. Ishida looked tired…exhausted. He suffered as his son had suffered…and now he'd suffer
alone. No one should have to
out-live their own child…

TK
pulled his hands out of his trench coat's pockets and looked at them. They were shaking. He closed his eyes and placed them back in the safety of the
cotton lining. He looked up and found
the ceremony had drawn to a close.
People were placing roses and other flowers upon the lid of the casket.

"Takeru?" TK turned to face his pallid mother. "It's time to go…"

"I
know… Can I have a few minutes though?"
he asked as he watched her face tightened.

"Yeah
- "

"Good,"
TK cut her off and turned to face the coffin once again.

"But
- "

"Nancy,"
whispered Mr. Ishida as he pulled gently on his ex-wife's wrist. "Let him be…" Taking one last look at her
son, Ms. Takaishi reluctantly followed.

TK
walked up to the casket that encased his deceased older brother. Reaching forward, he ran his hands along the
smooth, polished surface. It was almost
impossible to imagine his brother - a walking, talking inspiration to everyone
around him [1] - laying silent…dead…within the cold, wooden box. He lowered his head and his knees gave out
on him. TK kneeled in the grass and
pressed his forehead against the coffin's exterior. He could smell the faint perfume of the multiple floral
arrangements that adorned the casket.
Tears spilled from his eyes as he closed them. Why?

* * * * *

Nancy
Takaishi [2] sat in the passenger seat of the jade Nissan [3] her ex-husband
had bought a month ago. "For Matt when
he goes to college," he had said. Both
knew, however, that their son would never get a chance to drive it…She blinked
back more tears and looked out the car windows to see her ex-husband take a
deep drag on the newly lit cigarette before glancing up to their younger,
grieving son. He inhaled the poisonous
smoke once again before tossing the cigarette to the ground and grinding out
the still-burning embers with his shoe.

"Still
haven't kicked the habit, huh?" she asked as he entered the vehicle. Her nose twitched at the putrid odor that
still hung around him. She had divorced
him for a number of reasons, but this practice had been a daily irritation.

"I
almost had," he muttered.

They
sat in silence then, not knowing what to say and what should be left
unsaid. Nancy heard him sigh and shift
in his seat. Turning, she saw he was
twisted so he could see their son standing…no, kneeling next to the
coffin. The coffin that held their
other… The woman lowered her eyes to
look upon her clenched hands. She hated
cemeteries. They were where the old and
the sick should be laid. Not
children…not her child…

"Nancy…"

"Yeah?" Silence met her. "Masaharu…?" [4] She
turned to find him leaning against the wheel, head in hands. Placing a hand on his shoulder, she shook it
gently. "…Masaharu…?"

"Why? Why does this have to happen?! Dammit!" he cried slamming his hand against
the wheel. "This should never have
happened! He was only sixteen! Sixteen, Nancy! He had hopes and dreams…and I feel like…like I wasted all of his
and my time together… I was always at
work and him either at school or with friends.
We had never really talked until we found out about the illness…found
out how little time he had left. I feel
like I never really got to know my own son."

Nancy
paused to think. "I think you're
wrong…"

"What?"

"I
think…I think you always knew our son…at least, much better than me. And you always loved him…"

"I
did, but did I ever tell him that?
After the…divorce…I was too wrapped up with my own problems to really
pay any attention to his…God… And by
the time I did have time to be with him…I found he had already grown up… My son…my little boy…"

"You
forget that he was mine as well…"

The
man turned to face his ex-wife. Tears
blurred his vision as they clouded hers.
"Nancy…"

Reaching
forward, she cupped his face in her palms.
"I know…I know. We'll get
through this…together." She held him to
her until the tears dried and their son entered the car. Leaning back into the seat, Nancy watched
Masaharu as he started the car and drove them out the gates of the
cemetery. We have to put this behind
us…maybe not now, but we have to. And
we will; we'll start again…a new future…

* * * * *

"…The
band broke up. I'm sure you kinda
figured that, though. No one would ever
be as good as you. That and I guess
they don't feel like it's honorable to find someone to take your place. I have to admit, I hope it's the second
reason." He laughed. "Me being my sardonic self again…sorry about
that. You never liked it. You said you'd rather me be the nice twin
rather than the evil one. But
sometimes…I can tell which is which and where's the line between." He sighed.
"Tai and Sora are together. I asked
Tai about it. He didn't really give me
an answer though… I wonder why. Personally, I think it's because they miss
you. Then again…everyone does…" He laughed again. "Everyone keeps saying that I've been acting more and more like
you. That's kinda scary, ne? I mean…I was supposed to be the sweet and
sorta naïve one right? I'm beginning to
wonder if you've ever acted a little crazy.
Lots of people think I've lost it.
Well…not lots lots of people…just a few. Tai doesn't. He knows
just as well as the rest of the DigiDestined that I've developed these…moods
since you left. I can't help it, ya
know? I mean, I haven't started
swallowing pins or dressing in black or anything [5]. It's just that I get a little depressed every now and then. That and the fact that I come to a cemetery
to talk to a tombstone to find consolation."
He paused to think of what else had happened in the last month. So much to talk about so little time, he
thought as he glanced at the setting sun.
"I don't have much time left…I don't know about you but I don't like
cemeteries after the sun's gone down.
For some reason they freak me out."
He shivered. "On to more
cheerful news…Mom and Dad are thinking about getting together again. They both have good jobs now, so the money
won't be tight like last time. That's
always a good thing right? …I remember
that you told me once that Dad still loved Mom even after the divorce. Guess you were right. Like I said earlier, they're thinking about
it. In my opinion, they'll be okay. They've got everything running for them
so…let's hope. I imagine that you'd say
something modest right now if the dead could talk. Something about happiness arising from tragedy…" He sighed and rubbed at his eyes that had
suddenly teared up. "I miss you, you
know. A lot. So does everyone else but…you know." He sniffed and swallowed back a whimper. Trying so hard to contain his tears hurt
sometimes. "Hn…of course you know. You always did. Now, don't laugh but, sometimes…sometimes and can feel you with
me. I can almost hear you…or see
you. I have to admit, it used to freak
me out but…I'm used to it now. That's a
good thing, right?" He paused for a
long time before he pulled something shiny out of his pocket. Matt's harmonica glittered in the fading
sunlight. "I found this in some of your
old stuff. I can't play yet but…I don't
know…I think I can learn. I want to. I know I'll never master the guitar
but… Even if I don't learn, I want to
keep it. I need a part of you with me." He reached forward and touched the cool
marble of the headstone. "I miss you
Oniichan…and I love you. And I hope
you'll meet me at the Gates when I follow you." He then stood up and dusted the dirt off of his pants. "I gotta go now…Mom will be wondering where
I disappeared to. I'll come back and
visit soon. I promise." And with that, Takeru Takaishi left the
cemetery with a much lighter heart than coming in. His rational mind wondered why he would waste his time talking to
a grave. However, deep down he knew
why. Matt was always a good
listener. Just 'cause he's left this
life doesn't mean he still can't hear me rant... And he smiled.





[1] Disturbing Behavior quote...it's only PART of the
quote but...anyway, when I heard it...well, watched the entire scene really, I
thought of TK talking to Kari if Matt died.
Of course...the brother in the movie committed suicide. Very sad...

[2]
After posting the earlier installments, I noticed that I spelled Nancy and TK's
last name wrong a lot. Sorry about
that. It's 'A' before 'I' right? T-A-K-A-I-S-H-I…

[3]
I told my cousin to, "Name a car that could be bought in Japan," and
one of the categories? ...companies?
*shrugs* was a Nissan.

[4]
Thanks to everyone at my E!Group (now Y!Group), Digimon_Fanfics, for helping me
figure out his name. A few thought that
the dub's version was 'Malcolm' but...I figured I should stay with the
Japanese...ne? ~_^

[5]
Anyone catch the reference to GTK brought to us by the wonderful Clare
Ishida? Go learn about him here at: http://www.crosswinds.net/~mattishida/main.html
and click the "Goth TK's Room" link!
^_^*