Digimon Fan Fiction ❯ Avalanche - White Danger ❯ Glittering Pieces of a broken mirror ( Chapter 11 )

This is the corrected version of Chapter 11! Thanks to Settiai who did this*smiles* And thanks for your reviews!

Avalanche - White Danger

by Kaeera

Chapter 11: Glittering Pieces of a broken mirror

"It looks like he is having a nightmare," the nurse announced worriedly, glancing down at the boy. His face was pale, and he was sweating. From time to time he flinched, the pain visible in his expression.

"Another one?" the doctor questioned and stepped neare. "He had one an hour ago." He shrugged helplessly. "Well, we should take it as a good sign - at least he's moving."

"But he looks so frightened..." the young nurse said sadly. "Can't we wake him up?"

"I wouldn't know how," the doctor admitted. "It depends on him."

"I know." The woman sighed and stroked the white covers. "It's just that it makes me feel sad to watch his nice face in such agony. He's just a kid; he doesn't deserve this." She was new in the job, and all the sorrow and sadness around her made her feel depressed sometimes. She wanted to help, but often she could only watch...

"His parents should come soon," the doctor told her, "They are on their way and should arrive in the morning." He yawned, "I'll be happy when my shift's over - it was a stressful night."

The nurse smiled a bit. "Yes, with the avalanche... how many did survive?"

"Not many. The four kids and two other people who were found hours ago. Seven people are still missing, and they have announced them as dead."

"Terrible."

"It is."

* * *

Terrible. That was the word Daisuke was searching for. It was TERRIBLE! HORRIBLE!! He had wandered for an eternity, and still nothing had happened. Waking up? No, not here...HA! Why couldn't he manage it? Why couldn't he flee? Was he such a failure? He wished that he could be as smart as Izzy or Ken - maybe then he would find a way. But no, he was still his old self, clueless like always. He was sinking deeper and deeper in his dark thoughts, when suddenly something caught his attention. There was a black... whatever... a difference from the monotone grayness around him. He narrowed his eyes and walked faster. Maybe this was a way to flee?

To wake up?

He reached his goal, only to notice that it was a giant black mirror. What the... a mirror? Daisuke examined it, searching for a clue, but he didn't find one. The only thing he could see was his reflection. The boy stared at it and blinked. Was that really him? Did he look so... gray? He looked down at his hands, and really, they were of a deep shadowed gray color. Not only his hands, but his clothes, too!

Daisuke scratched his head. "What's that supposed to mean?" he asked loudly, not really expecting an answer.
So it was no surprise that he jumped in shock when his reflection answered him. "You should know that," it snickered, causing Davis to open and close his mouth, resembling a huge (gray) fish.
"What?" he gasped finally and pointed towards the mirror. "You - you're speaking!!!"

"Of course I am speaking, duh!", his mirror-self answered arrogantly. "Why shouldn't I?"

"Uh..." Davis was suddenly feeling very uncomfortable. "You are just a reflection... I mean, you are just a picture on a mirror...."

The other Davis snorted. "And because I am a reflection, I can't speak or what?" He started grinning.

"Ah Daisuke, but what if YOU are the reflection... and I the real one??"

"I am the real Daisuke!" Davis insisted.

"And why?"

"Ehm..." he searched for a fitting answer, "Because I have all the memories. And my feelings. They tell me that I am Daisuke Motomiya, and they tell me that you..." he pointed to the mirror. "...that you are just a reflection of me. An illusion, a picture!"

"Memories?" the mirror-Davis smiled. "You mean memories of my life? Like when Jun wanted to make a birthday cake and managed to poison the whole family? Or my first day with Veemon? Or the day I cried because the others had been so mean to me?"

"The day I... how do you know that??" Daisuke shouted angrily. "I never told anyone about it. It was supposed to be a secret..."

"Maybe because I am you?" his smile widened. "Because I am the mirror of your soul? Reflecting your deepest feelings..."
Daisuke stepped back. He didn't like the whole thing, and his first intention was to run away, because this whole place frightened him. But something was pulling him, as if a small voice in his heart would cry "Stay! Stay!", and to his anger, he listened to this voice.

"What feelings?", he croaked out.

"Buried feelings," the other boy responded. "Hidden feelings. True feelings. Fears."

"Daisuke," he continued. "Isn't there something you've been afraid of? The whole time since this
dream started? Something you knew, but you didn't want to realize that it was true..."

"Not that I remember," Davis admitted cautiously.

"Oh, there is!" his mirror-self lowered his gaze.

"Daisuke, are you lonely?"

Davis froze. Lonely? Was he lonely? No he wasn't, he had Veemon and his friends and his family... he really wasn't lonely! No, never...

"Daisuke, is there someone who understands your feelings?"
I am not alone, am I? Veemon understands me. He's my buddy, my best friend, and we share everything. But he's also a Digimon...sometimes he doesn't understand me...

"Daisuke, is there something who helps you when you feel sad?"
Of course, everybody. First of all Veemon... and all my other friends would help me if I asked...
If I asked... something I've never done...

"Daisuke, do they see it when you feel sad? Do they hug you when you are crying? Does anyone care enough for you to look behind the facade???"
Nobody did ever manage it to look behind the facade... They all believe that I am Davis, goggle-wearing Davis, cheerful-Davis, never-give-up-Davis, always-happy Davis....

"Daisuke, is there someone who loves you?"

Minutes passed and Davis stayed silent. His mind was whirling, and his head hurting. Love... him? These questions, what were they doing? They made him doubt, doubt everything... even his most precious gift, his friendship!
Is there someone who loves me? He looked straight into the face of the other boy, and noticed the sad smile in his eyes. Is there someone who understands, helps, hugs me, cares for me?

Loves me?

He looked up, tears forming in his eyes. Slowly the sobs came, racking through his body. Daisuke cried. Years of buried feelings, years of fears came to the surface with a destroying power. The boy who had never been depressed in his whole life - or had faked never to be depressed - was sitting on the ground, sobbing like mad, a heart-breaking view. He didn't notice the darkness around him, he didn't notice how wrong some of these statements were, he just felt the deep grief in his heart. His self in the mirror looked down on him, pity in his eyes, softly mumbling his last question.

"Daisuke, is there someone who wants you to come back?"

* * *

"DAVIS!!", Veemon shouted, jerking up from his restless sleep. He breathed heavily, sweat on his forehead. He had had a dream, a dream of Daisuke... and he had been crying. The small Digimon rubbed his eyes and tried to collect the few memories he had, but they were fading quickly. Just the uncomfortable feeling that something was very wrong stayed. He shuddered and looked around.

The four Digimon had gathered in a small, unoccupied room in the hospital, because they weren't allowed to enter the rooms of their partners. After some hours of waiting, they had all fallen asleep, one after another.
Veemon decided that it would be better not to wake the others and stood up. He wanted to search for Davis...maybe he could sneak into his room. Something was very wrong with the goggled boy, he could sense it. And the fear of loosing his friend grew bigger and bigger. He peered out of the door, seeing a bright and empty corridor. Using the same instincts which had helped him to find his friend under tons of snow, Veemon quickly made his way to the huge white door. Slowly he opened it and stepped inside.

The room was dark. His eyes needed some time to get used to it, but then he could recognize the figure on the bed.
"Davis!", he whispered softly, ran towards his partner and climbed on the bed. "Davis?", he asked again, but he got no response. Gently he stroked over the face of the boy, feeling very sad and worried. Daisuke looked so pale and... lifeless... that it was scary. Why wasn't he awake? Veemon had thought that everything would come back to normal as soon as he had rescued Davis, but now he had to face the truth that maybe things would never be like that - never again!! And he also felt that he couldn't do anything about it, that he was totally helpless... It was a fight Davis had to manage alone.

Veemon couldn't stand looking at his partner. For the first time in his life, the Digimon was really worried. Normally, he would take things lightly, with a smiling face and a warm heart. But this time...he had never felt such a sadness and... fear in his whole life! And there was no one to support him. He was lonely.
Lonely like Daisuke was right now, he realized. They couldn't reach each other mentally, although they had physical contact. "Davis..." Veemon said, "Even if you are alone... I want you to know that I am your friends, always... and that I love you more than anything..." a small tear rolled down his cheek. "I know that sometimes you feel sad and alone, but I will always be there, I will care for you.... I am your Digimon partner, and more than that, I am your friend. Trust your friends, Davis. Come back. We miss you. I miss you."

"Come back", he sobbed and buried his head under the covers, staying as near to the boy as possible. "Don't leave me like that..."

* * *

Jun tried to relax, but she couldn't. She was sitting in the car, glancing over at the place where normally her brother was sitting, only to find that it was empty. And every time she watched the empty seat, fear gripped her heart. She kept telling herself that everything would be fine, that her brother would be okay, but it didn't stop.
It was strangely silent in the car. At the rare occasions the Motomiya's made a trip, it was always loud and cheerful. Well, okay, maybe not that cheerful, but loud. Since Jun was older now, she didn't go out with her family very often, but when she did, she usually enjoyed every single minute of it.

It didn't mind that Davis and her were always quarreling; they just couldn't communicate different. It was funny to pick on her little brother, and it was funny to hear his comments. If he had been here, he would have surely done something stupid, like throwing the food out of the window or something like that. Living with Davis, Jun had learned to accept the daily surprises he was offering.
But she really couldn't accept this surprise. Avalanche. What if he was hurt seriously? What if he was... dead?

She shuddered. She didn't want to think of this, but... she had to face the possibility. Jun wasn't stupid. And she did care about her brother - she had just a very strange way of showing it.
Glancing out of the window, the girl realized that they would be there soon. She turned around and looked for the other cars following them. The families of Daisuke's friends, all with the same worried expressions as Jun and her parents.

She remembered the boy, Taichi was his name, the older brother of the nice girl. He had looked so worried, it had made her cry. And the parents...
Softly she leaned her head against the cool glass. When would this day be over? When would it end?
Waiting, how she hated it. No Motomiya was patient. They lived for the moment; action, whatever, just no boredom.

Feelings were underestimated. Jun tried to remember the last time she had told her brother that she loved him, but she couldn't. Maybe there hadn't been a last time? And what if he died now? Her last comment to him had been something stupid, about his stupid hat or something like that...she didn't remember it exactly. Whatever, it hadn't been the nicest thing on earth to say, and now she regretted it. But how could she have known?
How could anyone have known?
She just hoped - sincerely hoped - that she would have another chance.

That she wouldn't be too late.

* * *

Does anyone want me to come back?

Davis just stared at the mirror, not noticing that tears were rolling down his cheeks.
"You are lying!" he said with a shaking voice. "I have friends, I have a family. They do care, and they do want to have me back!"

Oh yeah, and when did they actually say this??

His mirror-self stared at him with pity in his eyes: "I didn't lie. I just asked some questions. What I think you know the answer already. You should listen to the voice inside of you."

Hey, nobody ever told you 'I love you', or? Did your parents? Did your sister? And your friends?

"My friends would never betray me!", Davis spat out and closed his eyes. Why was he crying? There was no reason to cry! But his heart was hurting....

"Yes, they wouldn't do that," the other boy admitted, "But are they your friends?"

Daisuke balled his fists. "I don't know what you're talking about! I have great friends. We have saved the Digiworld together, we've always helped each other and you can't convince me otherwise. The wouldn't hang around with me if they didn't like me..." His voice trailed off.

"Would they?" the mirror-Davis stared at him, and suddenly, there was fire in his eyes. Furiously he pointed at Daisuke and shouted: "Maybe they like you. Me. Whatever. But have they ever really known you? Tell me, have they ever realized that you are a person with real feelings? A person you can hurt? Don't you remember how often you cried alone in the middle of night - like the time your grandfather died. You didn't tell the others about this, but they didn't notice how sad you had been. Is that friendship, Davis? Is that love? Why didn't your mother hug you when you needed her? Why didn't your sister pat reassuringly on your shoulder when you were crying? Why, Davis? Why were you always alone?"
His mirror-self panted. Daisuke felt the sudden urge to cry. He was right, damn he was so right! Numerous times he had desperately wished a shoulder to cry on, but there had never been one, he had always been alone. ALONE! Nobody there. Never.

"....because they don't care..." he whispered and started sobbing. Memories of a happy life faded, just the images of him alone crying at night stayed. And Daisuke couldn't stop the tears. Painful years had told him to hold back his feelings - to support others, but never relying on their support. Now he cried all the tears he had suppressed in those years. Alone in the dark. Frightened.
His image in the mirror watched sadly and closed his eyes. "I am sorry," it whispered, so soft that Daisuke didn't hear it.
And the mirror broke into thousands of little pieces. Slowly they flew through the air, glittering in a strange light and making soft noises when they landed on the ground. A big splitter bored into Daisuke's leg, and he cried out in pain. Blood was on his hands, everywhere, but somehow he didn't care anymore. Forgotten was his will to wake up, his disgust for the grayness.
Instead he felt incredibly old and worn out. Tired. Nobody wanted him back. So why care?

What's with my sister? She was always fighting with me...does she care? Does she want me back? Does she love me?
Is there a proof for it? Do I have any memories????

Jun bit on her fingers, asking her parents the same question again and again: "When will we be there?"
"I don't know, Jun.", came the tired reply of her father. "Maybe half an hour or so..."
She closed her eyes and whispered: "Let him be okay, let him be okay... oh please..."

She was never caring, was she? She always ignored me...we've never had a relationship like TK and Matt... or Tai and Kari. We did never something together.
Maybe Jun doesn't want me to come back.
And my parents? They were never there when I needed them...

"He will be okay, dear, he will be okay." Mr. Motomiya assured his wife, although he couldn't believe his own words. "Daisuke is a strong kid, and he knows how to survive in the snow..."
Daisuke's mother looked out of the window with a worried expression on her face. "Will he?"
She closed her eyes. "If something happened to him, I will never forgive myself..."

I was always alone. They did never listen. They were always busy.
But if you love a person, you listen to it. You don't leave it. You... just show feelings. But nobody did show feelings, never... They didn't love me?
They didn't... they don't.... and they will never be...
friends.

"I wonder if Davis is okay...., Kari mused and looked at Gatomon. "I don't know what I would do if something happened to him..."
"You really like him, do you?" Gatomon questioned.
Hikari smiled a weakly and answered: "Yes, I do. He's a very good and close friend. I couldn't bear to loose him."

The mirror was right. I've never had real friends. They used to make fun of me. So many times. Did they notice that they hurt me? Did they realize that I - too - was crying sometimes?
They didn't. Never. They ignored me. So often. Leaving me. Alone. Hurt. They never saw me crying. I cried alone. Who came and supported me?

Nobody...

Who wants me back?

Nobody.

Maybe I just stay here. Don't come back. They will be happy without me. Everybody. I am just a burden. My parents won't have to pay for me. My friends can hang around with 'cool kids'. Bet they won't miss me.

I am staying.

And in the middle of the desert, they dark and depressing desert, a lonely boy was hugging his knees, rocking back and forth and crying like a baby. Nobody would have thought that this boy was the same who had helped to save the Digital World. Nobody would have recognized the usually cheerful, happy and energetic Daisuke Motomiya. In fact, would the boy have seen himself like that , he wouldn't have recognized the picture. But he couldn't. There was just the darkness, in his mind and in his heart.

To be continued...