Digimon Fan Fiction ❯ Behind the Scenes ❯ Peaceful Hearts ( Chapter 2 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Disclaimer: Digimon Adventure 02 belongs to Toei Animation, its dubbing rights belong to Saban Entertainment (and now Disney), and its merchandising rights belong to Bandai. We're just writing this baby for fun.
Author's Note 1: I have no idea what to put here. It's 3:30 a.m. and my author's note well has hit rock bottom. Read the fic. Love it, hate it, we won't be offended. We had fun, and we gave an ending. Is it happy? Read it and find out. Why should we tell you everything?
Author's Note 2: I love torturing him, that's what it's all about. Beware the OOC-ness...and the spineless Yamato.
Timeline Note: They're...well, Yamato is 20, and Koushirou is 19. It's based around what happened in the first fic...it kind of ruined Yamato's life. Oh yeah, and Miyako is the one who set Yamato up with Sora...and then they ended up together for a while, too. A lone figure sat alone on a couch, curled up under a blanket and nose stuck in a book, safe indoors from the cold winter air outside, though he still shivered slightly. His frame was perhaps too thin for the weather. He shivered again, blue eyes skimming over the words on the pages before him, words that he knew almost by memory, for he had read the book so many times in the past, but words that he loved regardless. As he read, he idly wondered how much longer he would be waiting for the pizza that he ordered, feeling the distinct, tell-tale bite in his stomach that he was practically starving. Yet, even though he was expecting the delivery boy at any minute, he still jumped when there was a knock at the door, startled out of the world of his imagination that his book had put him into. He blinked, looking up before unwrapping the blanket from himself, picking up some yen from the table before him and walking to the door, still reading. He didn't even look up from the book as he opened the door and held out the money in his hand to who he knew would be the delivery boy. "This is enough, right?" he asked softly, still not bothering to look away from the wonderful world written on those pages.

The person in the doorway blinked at that, dark eyes confused. "What?"

"It's enough, right?" He paused at that, one hand idly reaching up to move a strand of blond hair from his face. Wait a minute...I know that voice... He looked up from his book, right at his visitor, recognizing him immediately and blushing bright red. "O-oh...Izumi-san. I'm sorry, I...I didn't know it was you..." The redhead just stared at him, and he blinked before holding his book, which Koushirou couldn't help but note looked like it was almost heavier than what the fragile blonde would be able to lift, open against his chest, hugging it to himself. His blush deepened to a most becoming shade. "I..." Again, the blush deepened. "I'm sorry...about that..." He cut off, biting his lip nervously. "W-would you like to come in?" The redhead nodded, and he felt himself smiling nervously at him before stepping out of Koushirou's way. That was when he felt self-consciousness sinking in. "I...I'm sorry if it's a bit of a mess..."

Koushirou took a moment to look around as he walked in, blinking at the comment as he noticed that it was spotless and in perfect order, except a few books, all of which looking at least as big as the one that the blonde was holding, on the couch with a blanket that he could tell the other had recently been using. "It looks fine." He didn't notice the blush that those words brought onto pale cheeks, nor did he notice how nervous the other was. The blonde thought that he was just saying that, convinced that his apartment was a mess. Yet the thoughts didn't show in his eyes, and Koushirou didn't know about them...or, if he did, he didn't make mention of them. "How have you been?"

The blonde shrugged. "O-okay, I guess..." He blushed again, hugging his book closer to himself as Koushirou made a sound of acknowledgement.

One red eyebrow quirked up at that. "What are you reading?"

"Huh?" Blue eyes lit with surprise. "Oh...n-nothing..." His blush deepened.

"What?"

"I-it's nothing, really..." He smiled nervously as the redhead frowned, then walked over to the couch. "W-would you like to sit?" Koushirou nodded shortly and sat, and he put his book face-down on the table so that it was still open to his page, quickly gathering the books from the couch into a neat stack on the table, and then moving to grab the blanket so that it wasn't in the way. He blushed softly as he noticed a thoughtful frown on his guest's face as he watched the blonde fold the blanket neatly. He didn't even think about how he left his precious book unprotected.

Koushirou, however, did notice that, and leaned over to look at it, then up at the blonde, who was still folding his blanket. "Well..." He noted the small jump that the blonde gave at that. "Interesting."

"Wh-what's interesting?" He was biting his lip again, looking sincerely confused, then blushed as he saw the redhead point to his book.

"Yamato..." He paused, looking directly into clear blue eyes. "Why didn't you tell me you liked to read?" He noticed a blush blossoming on Yamato's face again.

"I...I didn't know it was s-such a big deal..." He bit his lip again as he heard the other chuckle, then quickly grabbed up his book before Koushirou could see anything about it, dropping the blanket in the process.

"What is that?" Yamato shook his head, hugging the book, still open with its pages facing towards his chest. Koushirou peered closer. "The mists of Avalon?" Blue eyes widened as he said that, and Yamato turned away, blushing furiously. "Well?" The blonde blushed deeper, but didn't answer, and he frowned.

It took a minute for Yamato to finally peek over his shoulder, and he bit his lip as he noticed the frown. "Wh-what's wrong?"

"You're not talking to me."

He bit his lip again. "I...I really don't...know what to say." And that was the truth. He had never felt quite so confused about anything before this.

"Maybe you could answer why you didn't tell me?" He sighed as the blonde blinked, but cut him off before he could ask his question. "That you like to read, Yamato!"

Again, the blonde blushed deeply. "Oh...I...I already told you, I didn't...didn't think it was important, Izumi-san..." He noted the eyebrow that raised in a silent questioning of why as he said that, and he shrugged slightly. "It...just never seemed like it was. Does it really make that much of a difference?"

Koushirou sighed. "No, of course not. "

Yamato bit his lip again before speaking softly, "You're mad..." His eyes went wide as the redhead stood. "Izumi-san!"

"Obviously I was mistaken in coming." The blonde couldn't speak...for all that his voice had been known for at any point in his life, it abandoned him now. He just stood there, silently shaking his head. "I won't bother you again since you obviously don't want me here." Still, Yamato shook his head, on the verge of tears and still unable to speak. "What?"

He shrugged, barely managing any sound at all. "I...I do want you here." The redhead frowned, and he blushed softly.

"Well..."

"W-well...?" Yamato stammered out, even more nervous than he had been before.

"I might stay."

He bit his lip again. "M-might?" He watched as the redhead sat back down, then nervously went over to join him, about to sit before he noticed the blanket and bit his lip.

"What is it?" Koushirou sighed mentally as he saw the evidence internal debate Yamato was having in those blue eyes, then watched as the blonde picked up the blanket, but refusing to quit hugging his book. That, of course, caused a bit of trouble, and he dropped both, giving a tiny, girlish shriek before going to pick them up, laying the book down on the table with care. He then picked up the blanket, folding it up neatly and placing it on the back of the couch before sitting next to Koushirou, blushing softly and trembling a bit. The trembling increased as he noticed the redhead smile at him. "You look so cute when you're frustrated." Yamato's blush deepened, and his trembling increased even more. "What?"

"H-huh?"

"Why are you blushing?" The redhead smiled gently at him.

Why am I...and...and why can't I stop shaking? He looked into Koushirou's dark eyes, blush growing a bit more. "I...I..." Yet he was cut off by a knock on the door. He picked up the money again, still trembling, and went to answer the door, paying the delivery boy and bringing in the pizza box. "W-would you like some?"

Koushirou looked at him worriedly. "Is there enough?" He watched the other nod.

"I usually only eat one or two slices, so there's m-more than enough..." The redhead nodded, and Yamato blushed, walking over to his table and putting the box down before disappearing into the kitchen to get plates, glasses, drinks, and napkins and returning, trembling again as Koushirou moved to help him out. The nervous trembling increased with each passing moment.

"What?" Blue eyes looked up at him in confusion. "You're shaking." Yamato bit his lip and looked away, still shivering. "What is it?"

The blond shook his head slightly. "I-it's nothing..." He didn't notice the other's frown, but blushed and sat, Koushirou sitting across from him. He ate slowly, nervousness showing, and still trembling, but taking time to peek up at the man that he still loved, even after all of the years that had passed since his blatant rejection and statement of hatred that the other had given him. His mind barely registered the soft smile that lit Koushirou's features as they ate. They ate in silence, finishing soon enough, and Yamato quickly, yet carefully, cleared everything...Koushirou frowned as he noticed just how obsessed Yamato seemed with making the process orderly and making sure that everything was perfectly clean. When the blonde finished, he smiled softly, and Koushirou smiled back. That, unfortunately, just made Yamato even more nervous, and his shivering came back with a vengeance.

"What?" Yamato looked up in confusion again. "You're shaking, Yamato." Blue eyes went a little dull for a moment before Yamato shrugged as best as he could, trembling more because Koushirou noticed. Koushirou, not being one to keep from acting in a situation like this, grabbed the blanket from the couch and pulled it around Yamato, who only shivered more. "What is it?!"

The blonde squeaked, backing into a wall and shaking like a leaf. "I...I...I..." He felt like a bunny that had just been cornered by a wolf.

Koushirou sighed at his behavior. "I'm not going to bite you." He sighed again as Yamato continued to shake.

"I...I'm sorry..." the blonde said eventually. "I'm being stupid." He wasn't going to argue there, and he nodded in affirmation of the blonde's words. Yamato looked down, embarrassed and more than slightly upset, shaking and nervousness still apparent, and he mentally berated himself because he was ruining the one thing he wanted more than anything...a chance for Koushirou to actually want to be with him. "I'm sorry..." he whispered. "I'm sorry...I...I just...I can't say it..."

"Sorry for what?!?

He whimpered, repeating himself softly. "I can't say it..." Koushirou sighed, and he whispered again. "I'm so sorry..." The redhead stood, and a soft whimper escaped Yamato's lips.

"What?!" Yamato whimpered once again, pressing back against the wall and trying desperately to hide the fact that he was crying because Koushirou had yelled at him. The redhead looked at him in contempt. "Sorry, I must have the wrong place. I thought Ishida Yamato lived here." He didn't bother to look at the blonde, who was still trying to hide his tears, as he began to leave

Last chance...if I...if I don't say it... Blue eyes watched him brokenly, and he whispered as though his life depended on these three words, "I love you..."

"You love whining and hiding and being deceitful." The blonde trembled, shaking his head at those words, but absolutely refusing to talk.

I...I admitted it...I told him the truth, told him exactly how I feel, and he...he threw it right back at me. He would cut out my heart so quickly and leave me to bleed...alone... He stopped, standing up and walking to the couch, collapsing onto it and staring forward, speaking softly. "I was a fool to think that...to hope that maybe I had a chance. I...should have learned years ago that I have no right to hope for something that wonderful..."

Koushirou looked back at him. "Did it sink into your mind that if you had a spine like you pretended to, you might? If you had tried to be real?" There was no response as the blonde continued to stare straight ahead. Minutes passed.

"Izumi-san?" There was a soft grunt in response, and he looked thoughtful before speaking again, his tone showing that there was something severely wrong. "Do you think that I could honestly ever be good enough for anyone?" For you...

He turned, dark eyes staring at the blonde. "What?"

The tone didn't change, in fact, it got worse. "Do you think that I could honestly ever be good enough for anyone?"

"...it depends, I guess."

The blonde bit his lip, but nodded. "Do you think I could be a good wife?" Koushirou blinked at that...he had never figured Yamato to be one to want that sort of life. "No...no, I suppose I wouldn't. I'd be a horrible wife, probably. I can only think about myself, I can't even keep a room clean, let alone an entire home...I'd probably be horrible with raising children..."

Koushirou tried a more gentle approach. "Yamato...your place is spotless."

He shook his head. "It's not...it's horrible, absolutely disgusting."

"Where?"

"Everywhere." He looked around. "There's things that aren't in the right place, and there's dust all over the place, and..." He continued on a list of every little thing that he could nitpick about his home, while Koushirou looked around slowly.

"No." The blonde silenced, looking up at him and blinking in confusion. "This place is perfect."

"But it's not!"

"Yes, Yamato, it is." The blonde shook his head violently, but then stopped, biting his lip again.

"I..." He closed his eyes, thinking. "I forgot...something...what did I..."

"What?"

But he obviously wasn't listening. "I...don't know what it...no...oh no...nonononono..." He gasped softly, eyes flying open wide as he ran to the bathroom, looking almost fanatical as he searched through his medicine cabinet. Koushirou followed him slowly, almost worried that the blonde might try something stupid.

"Yamato?" But the blonde didn't answer as he grabbed a bottle of pills. Koushirou walked over just as the blonde opened the bottle. "What is that?" Again, there was no answer, and Koushirou looked into the crazed blue eyes. Without a second thought, he took the bottle from the blonde.

"No!" The shriek pierced the entire room. "No, Izumi-san, I need to!" Koushirou, however, could have selective hearing just as Yamato could, and he ignored the blonde as he read the label thoroughly. "Please, Izumi-san...my doctor said I need to...he...he said that it would make me better, stop me from acting...like that, and would stop my compulsive...urges...and...and..." He trailed off, reaching for the bottle again, all while trying to keep the rest of the cabinet from the redhead's view, self-conscious about how many different prescriptions he had in there. Koushirou frowned slightly. "Wh-what?" The other shook his head a bit before wordlessly handing the bottle back. Yamato smiled nervously as he got the proper dose out, then blushed, because he's only had a select few people watch him as he took any of his medications. "Um..." His blush deepened, and Koushirou raised an eyebrow as Yamato got a glass of water. "Could you...um..." That was all it took for Koushirou to realize that he was nervous, and he nodded before leaving the bathroom to give Yamato his space. The blonde sighed softly before taking his pills, and then opening the cabinet again, taking out proper doses for all of the others that he had to take, and having those as well. He didn't want to risk something happening, not with someone over. He blushed softly as he walked back towards Koushirou. "Izumi-san..."

"Kou: Yes?"

He smiled nervously. "I...I'm sorry..."

"It's all right." Koushirou smiled at him as Yamato blushed and bit his lip.

"But...it doesn't change anything, does it?" He sounded upset. "It doesn't change the fact that I never had a chance with you..." He looked up, eyes distant and tears shining in them. "...that I'll never have a chance with you." He sat down, drawing his knees to his chest.

"Maybe." Yamato looked up at him, eyes sad. "Maybe you do..." He smile at the confusion written on Yamato's face.

"I...don't understand..." Blonde eyebrows furrowed together. "I thought that you...that you hated me..."

"No."

"But you..."

"What?"

"You yelled at me..." He blushed, knowing that he sounded incredibly stupid right then. "Everything you said..."

"I didn't know about your problems," Koushirou stated simply.

The blonde bit his lip, then looked up at him, tears in his eyes. "That has nothing to do with anything! I...I don't want you to stay here if it's out of sympathy..." He turned his face away, trying to hide his tears and his pain. "You knew about some of them, Koushirou-san...you knew I was never normal." The redhead sighed at those words. "I only want you here if you really, truly want to be here."

"I do."

He bit his lip. "But you didn't want to be before you knew about my problems." Koushirou growled, causing Yamato to jump and flatten himself against a wall.

"Fine." Koushirou's voice seethed in his anger, and Yamato looked at him with sad blue eyes. "You don't want to believe anything, so just forget it." The blonde stayed flattened against the wall, and Koushirou looked at him sadly. "There's nothing I can do. If I say anything, you'll take it the wrong way. If I don't say anything, you'll take it the wrong way."

Yamato felt his eyes tear up at that, and he couldn't stop himself from asking. "Why did you come here today, Izumi-san?"

"I was hoping to ask you out, but, since you think you're too scummy for anyone, you wouldn't say yes anyway." Yamato's eyes went wide at that, and he dropped to his knees as Koushirou walked to the door. "You don't want anyone to care about you."

Yamato shook his head, even knowing that the other wouldn't see it. "I don't want anyone to pity me. There's a difference."

"I wasn't."

"But until you found out about my "problems" you didn't want to be around me."

"Oh, am I supposed to be perfect now?"

He shook his head again, looking at Koushirou, pain obvious in his eyes. "But I'm supposed to just accept it that it wasn't you finding out about my 'problems' that kept you here?"

"I didn't stay out of pity." The disgust was obvious, and Yamato sighed before suddenly just stopping, eyes going wide, and he banged his head against the wall a few times. Koushirou blinked at that.

He stood there for a moment before whispering softly, "You should go...I...I don't want you to see me like this..."

"Of course," Koushirou sneered. "Obviously everything I've said was a lie, and you can't trust me."

Yamato groaned very softly at that. "Please, I just...I don't like anyone to see me when I'm like this." He collapsed, drawing his knees to his chest as Koushirou left, trying to calm himself down. He whispered softly to himself, "I'm sorry, Izumi-san..." His eyes clenched shut. "I can't let you see me like this...I can't let you see me when I lose control..." A lone tear made its solitary journey down his face. I don't want you to see me when I can't keep a hold of myself...when I'm not just me...

He stood, going to pick up his book again, taking a few deep breaths and holding it close to himself again, then looked at the door forlornly before running to it. He put his shoes on and ran out, neglect his coat, despite the winter air outside, determined to find Koushirou and apologize for his inexcusable behavior. He ran, hoping against every hope that he had chosen the correct direction, searching desperately, and finally he saw him walking. His breath caught, and he ran up to catch him, calling out softly, "Izumi-san!"

"What?" There was no way to mistake the annoyance in that voice. Yamato bit his lip, but looked up at him.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to doubt your honestly. I'm sorry."

"Are you?" The blonde nodded, and Koushirou found himself smiling.

"I'm an idiot." He hugged his book tightly to his chest for comfort.

"You're not."

He hugged his book tighter. "I am."

"No." The firmness in that statement gave Yamato pause, and he looked up in confusion.

"I am, Izumi-san. Only an idiot would do something as stupid as what I did." Koushirou shook his head, and he sighed. "You don't have to try to make me feel better."

"I'm not."

The blonde looked down sadly. "I know what I am, Izumi-san. I'm stupid, and I'm a freak."

The redhead sighed at that. "Let me know when you're done feeling sorry for yourself."

"I'm not feeling sorry for myself, Izumi-san. I...it's the truth."

"No."

His heart almost broke as he saw Yamato look up at him, tears shining in his brilliant blue eyes. "It is! I can't do anything right, I don't know how to do anything, I don't know anything!"

Koushirou looked at him before speaking dryly, "Yamato." Yamato looked up at him again, too scared to do anything else. "You can read that book, right?" Blue eyes blinked, but the blonde nodded. "In English." Confusion entered the shimmering blue eyes. "You can read it in English." The blonde blinked again, but nodded slowly. "Perfectly."

"I..."

"Well?"

He blushed. "How did you know..."

"I can tell when a book has been read, Yamato," Koushirou answered simply.

He blushed again, deeper this time. "Izumi-san..." He blushed as Koushirou looked at him, but then shivered, eyes looking around himself, and he finally realized that it was snowing...that it must have been snowing for a while now. The cold was just then getting through to him.

"You're freezing!" Yamato looked up again, blushing and shivering, which only made the blush deepen. "Come on...you're going home." The blonde nodded a bit, shivering increasing as he got colder. Koushirou did the first thing that came to mind...put an arm around the shorter man, and Yamato immediately snuggled with him.

"I..." He blushed, and Koushirou looked at him with a silent urge for him to continue. "I've loved you since..." His blush deepened. "I've loved you since I first met you...you've had my heart since then." He snuggled happily as Koushirou blushed at the statement, and the redhead smiled down at him. Yamato pressed even closer as they neared his apartment, and Koushirou brought him in. "I...don't really know how to tell you any of this, Koushirou-san..." he began softly. He pulled Koushirou over to the couch after they removed their shoes and locked the door, and Koushirou brought the blanket around them both, gently holding the fragile blonde close. "You...know about the problems that I had from the start...the health problems that I had been born with." Koushirou nodded for him to continue. "And...I told you that they would never really go away, and...they didn't. I still have to deal with them. But...I've...kind of developed more problems than just that...

"I...I think you've probably guessed by now that...well, I have problems dealing with anything being out of place. I never really thought about it for a while, I kind of thought that it was natural, even when people told me that I shouldn't clean things constantly, that I could let things out of their little assigned places every now and then. They told me that everything didn't need its perfect little cubbyhole, but I...I couldn't deal with that." Koushirou nodded, squeezing him gently. "Eventually, I...well, it happened after some other things, and I was already seeing a psychologist..." He didn't look up to see Koushirou's frown at that. He knew that he would have to go into it anyway...everything would have its time and place. "I told him about it...I asked him if everyone was right when they were telling me that it wasn't normal...and he...he told me that they were. He told me that it wasn't healthy, and that I should have told him that I was like that earlier..."

"Obsessive-compulsive..."

Yamato nodded. "Exactly. And I...I've been getting better, I guess you can say, but...if I miss one dose of my medication, I usually go right back into old habits...you got a good view of that earlier." He paused, sighing softly. "I still like things to be neat...but, I'm not as...anal about it, I guess you could say." He snuggled closer. "So there's that, and the health problems for my spine and my lungs..."

"Which I knew about." Koushirou smiled at him gently.

"...I never really told many people about the rest." He paused, taking a deep breath. "My family, my doctors...and Miyako. They're the only people that know. Miyako because she's one of my two best friends...and I didn't really think I could confide in Taichi about any of this. I don't know if he would have been able to deal with it the way that she did." He paused, gathering his thoughts. "D-do you remember when Ken...captured Agumon? How Miyako had stayed behind, and then she ran off, and...and I went after her?" Koushirou nodded. "I never really told anyone except for her, but when you and I spoke...and...and you yelled at me..." He looked up, eyes distant. "It was sort of a breaking point, I guess you could say. I had never really been all there...I'd always been a little crazy, and to hear you, the one person that I loved with all of my heart, yell at me...it kind of killed a part of me. I...I know that no one ever told you...I didn't want anyone to, but...I tried to kill myself a few times after that..." He leaned his head back, looking into Koushirou's eyes before pulling up one of his sleeves to reveal some scars from long lines of stitches along the veins on his wrist. "...that's why I'm always wearing long sleeves. I tried so many times, and I would get so angry that someone would always save me, but I just kept bottling it away. It wouldn't do for me to yell at someone for saving my life...they were only doing what they thought was right. It's not their fault that I was such a fuck-up. And bottling it up just lead to more depression, and that lead to more attempts to take my life...and, eventually...

"Eventually, I ended up with about a year in the psyche ward of the hospital. They usually just kept me on suicide watch, but I ended up going too far over the edge...all of the resentment at being saved when I had nothing to live for in the first place...it just kept bottling up and bottling up until I wasn't the only person in me anymore. There was me, the regular Yamato...and then there was that anger...a whole different self, and I couldn't keep myself in control all of the time. That was why I made that last attempt...I almost succeeded, but Sora and Miyako found me...Miyako blamed herself...she thought that it was because we had just broken up not long before that...and that it was just me being mad about her attempts to give me a love life - she was the one who set me up with Sora to try to help me get over you, and then after that ended...we just sort of...ended up together. It wasn't a good reason...it was kind of like those relationships that start off because of a night of sex, only we never..." He trailed off, blushing slightly. "They were both rebounds for me...and I didn't want either of them. The one person that I wanted, I couldn't have. That's why my psychologist still gets plenty of cash out of me...I'm still seeing him every week. But he's helping me out a lot...he's helping me get rid of that...anger...that other self. And I can usually control it really well now, it's just...today, I almost lost control. That's why I asked you to leave...I couldn't stand the thought of you having to see me like that.

"But, it was because of that other self, that angry self, that I ended up in the psyche ward. When I woke up after being saved...I went ballistic. I lashed out at everyone, and they put me through a psychological test or something like that...I don't even remember what it was...and they figured it out pretty quickly...all I really remember about the thing was phasing in and out of control. It was a sure sign, and I just...wouldn't get better. That's why I was there for so long. But...I...I'm doing a lot better now." He looked up at Koushirou and smiled. "I just need to make sure that I don't miss my medications is all, and it's not so bad, really. I have incentive to not miss taking them, you know? I don't want to go crazy...it...it wasn't fun."

"I...I'm sorry, Yamato." Koushirou looked at him sadly, his eyes showing just how sincere his words were, and Yamato hugged him slightly, smiling softly up at him.

"Th-thank you." He snuggled, taking a few deep breaths. "There's...a lot more to it..." He closed his eyes.

"But you don't have to push it."

He nodded. "Thank you." He smiled up at him. "I...I'm not perfect. I know I'm not. And I'm not even a 'me.' I'm kind of scared that I never will be just one person again, that I'll be a 'we' for the rest of my life...and not a we as in a relationship...but...me and my psychotic other self." He frowned, and Koushirou hugged him gently. "And I'm still depressed...and I'm still suicidal..." He closed his eyes. "I just...I don't know how anyone could want me..."

"How about because you're a wonderful person, and because you're not perfect?" Yamato looked up in surprise, then blushed.

They sat there like that for a while, neither could tell if it was just moments, or minutes, or even hours. Time seemed to take forever and yet go by too fast at the same time. But, eventually, Yamato spoke again, softly. "You'll help me if something starts to happen, right?" Koushirou nodded, and Yamato snuggled closely. "Thank you." His love held him, and he looked up cutely, to be rewarded by a gentle smile. Blue eyes fluttered closed, and a soft blush tinted pale cheeks, and his head tilted up. Koushirou smiled, leaning down and kissing him gently, causing Yamato's blush to deepened as he kissed back. They pulled out of the kiss slowly, staring into each other's eyes lovingly. "So..."

"Hm?"

He bit his lip again, once again nervous. "Was there any other reason you kept insisting that I'm not stupid, that I'm not an idiot? I mean...you were so insistent. I just...don't understand why."

Koushirou chuckled softly. "But you aren't stupid." Yamato looked up at him with questioning eyes, and he stated firmly, "You aren't. And don't ask me what I mean, Yamato. I know you're not stupid, just as well as you do."

"You're basing this all on the fact that I can read a stupid book..."

"No, I'm also basing this on how you graduated. It may not get some special recognition...but you don't graduate third in your class by being stupid." The blush that flared up on Yamato's cheeks was glorious.

"I..." His blush deepened. "I didn't think that anyone remembered..."

"I did."

Yamato blushed a becoming shade of red at those words, and Koushirou smiled gently at him. "Thank you for remembering..." He leaned up for a kiss, which Koushirou happily obliged him with, and when they pulled back, Yamato looked into dark eyes again. "I love you..."

"And I love you." They smiled at each other, snuggling close before Yamato yawned cutely. "Rest, Yamato."

The blonde looked up, blushing and closing his eyes. He remained motionless for a minute, and Koushirou could have sworn that he had fallen asleep, but then he spoke. "Kou-chan? Will you...remind me to take my medicine again later?"

The redhead smiled. "All right." The blonde made a soft happy, noise as he drifted of to sleep, with Koushirou holding him. A smile lit each of their faces.

And things looked brighter at that moment. Just as the snow was blanketing the world in its purity, love was providing its pure healing that would eventually mend a torn soul completely. But at the moment, all that was necessary was that Yamato was safe, in Koushirou's arms...and that both of their hearts were at peace.