Digimon Fan Fiction ❯ beside the river bank ❯ what lies beneath ( Chapter 2 )

*disclaimer* I don't own digimon, or ken or daisuke or anyone else for that matter. *Pout* but the story is miiiine. >=D

Chapter 2

What Lies Beneath

**Nittle Grasper and Sleepless Beauty belong to the gravitation people** **all song lyrics belong to Metallica**

Ken's POV

I stared into the mirror, cold eyes stared back. People always told me what beautiful eyes I had. But I hated them. They looked like his. He hung himself over my shoulder once more. I turned around sharply enough that it made him jump and I smiled internally. "don't touch me." Armored shoulders shrugged and the blue haired mirror image smirked. I couldn't see it, I refused to look at the mirror again, but I felt his cold eyes boring into my back. I turned my eyes back to him, back to his image, as well as my own reflection. He came around in front of me (in front of my reflection) and drooped his arms around me as I stiffened. He started kissing me again. It was unnerving seeing myself being kissed and embraced, even as I felt it happening. I closed my eyes. `This is wrong. I shouldn't be taking pleasure in something an image in a mirror was doing to my reflection, but…'

`Daisuke…'

My eyes snapped open, and I shoved the blue haired illusion away. His eyes darkened dangerously and his mouth creased. "What is it, Ken, building false hopes again?"

I turned away from the mirror. "Come now, you must have figured out by now that no one really loves you. That Daisuke brat only held you like that because he didn't know what else to do. He pities you Ken. I'm sure you disgusted him, especially since you got blood all over him. He'll avoid you tomorrow, I'm sure."

I let my eyes lower to the floor. I knew he was right. Everyone who I had ever thought might care for me disappeared from my life. "please go… just for now.." the blue haired image sighed, and turned his back to me. "all right, but only because you asked so nicely." He blew a kiss then faded into nothing. Alone again. I sat down on my bed, which creaked loudly under my dead weight. I looked down at my scarred arms in disgust. I hated them, those permanent lines that so perfectly mapped out my pain. And now of course, there were half a dozen fresh cuts. New crimson crevices that would eventually form pale shinning stripes up and down my arms. They were disgusting, and no matter how much I rubbed, no matter how many times I washed, my arms would never be clean. Forever tarnished by pale disgusting scar tissue. I tore my nails across the pale lines, erasing them for a split second under dusty white, before their color darkened into an angry red, making them stick out even more. I reached over to my CD player and switched on my favourite CD, laying back and drowning my thoughts in the melancholy sound.

Daisuke's POV

I sat on my bed, listening to the only… `moody' CD I had. My mom had come upstairs 3 times just to see if I was alright. I swear---

`I wonder if Ken's alright…'

I frowned again as my mind returned to my blue haired friend. He seemed introverted when I first met him, but I never thought… I sighed. I wish I had his phone number…

But why am I worrying so much? Why do I care this much? I mean jeeze, I only met the guy this morning…

`But the way he clung to me when I held him…' I closed my eyes for a minute, remembering the moment…

`Wait a sec!!' I shook my head `what the hell, this is queer, I've got to get my mind off Ken. No need to get depressed over a guy I just met today. Besides, I'm sure he's fine…

Heh…….

I'll bet he's already forgotten about this afternoon…..'

I switched off the melancholy stuff and turned over to Nittle Grasper, trying to get my mind off Ken, and back into my normal less-swingy-more-`chipper' mood.

I started to smile as `sleepless beauty', my favourite of their songs, started playing.

But even as I bobbed and sung along, one boys name still hung in the back of my mind…

Ken's POV (pay super attention to fonts, and those speech/thought marks)

**Struggle within it suits you fine

Struggle within your ruin

Struggle within you seal your own coffin

Struggle within the struggling within

Home is not a home it becomes a hell

Turning it into your prison cell

Advantages are taken, not handed out

While you struggle inside your hell

Reaching out

Grabbing for something you've got to feel

Closing in

The pressure upon you is so real**

`I can't breath'

darkness

death

sadness

depression

blood

breath

`Somebody..'

thick air

hate

dark

black

endless

hopeless

`help me….'

The air around me is poison

that's right, taste it

`Is this all there is?'

bleed

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

**Time and space never ending

Disturbing thoughts, questions pending

Limitations of human understanding

Too quick to criticize

Obligation to survive

We hunger to be alive

All that is, ever

Ever was

Will be ever

Twisting

Turning

Through the never

In the dark, see past our eyes

Pursuit of truth no matter where it lies**

`this can't be normal. Being unable to breathe through the darkness can't be normal.'

of course it's not

hopeless

`hold me'

weak

I wrap my arms around myself again, I wish you were here

"am I allowed back yet? Or are you having too much fun surrounding yourself like that?"

"f-fuck off"

the image shrugged and vanished into the mist once again "suit yourself"

`I'm alone. I used to embrace it…this solitude…what wrong with me?'

it's him

disappearing

alone

worthless

hopeless

solitude

embrace the darkness

`Why wont you come'

tears

`please…'

sob

"please…!"

dry sobs do nothing for weary eyes

when will the bridges break?

`are crimson tears the only way?'

crack

`I'm always alone..'

break

`I can't breath'

free yourself

`it's so dark'

you know you want it

`no…'

snap

`no………'

let go

`I'm sorry…'

bleed

`please..'

break

`please……….'

Die

"Daisuke…!"

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

**Hey

I'm your life

I'm the one who takes you there

Hey

I'm your life

I'm the one who cares

They

They betray I'm your only true friend now

They

They'll betray

I'm forever there

I'm your dream, make you real

I'm your eyes when you must steal

I'm your pain when you can't feel

Sad but true**

`it's endless.' I sat on the edge of my bed yet another melancholy song playing in the background.

"thinking to ourselves again are we? Care to share?" he spoke again. The nameless blue mirror image.

Nameless… "what should I call you?"

"call me? Just Kaizer, if anything at all."

"alright then…" my thoughts trailed off again.

"it's all just hopeless, isn't it?" I surprised myself by voicing my thoughts aloud. The Kaizer laughed. "need company bad enough to talk to yon mirror hmm?" he smirked again. "what is `it'? Life? Yes. Life is hopeless. It's a never ending, forever repeating cycle, which only ends harshly as another life takes it's place."

I thought this over for a moment.

My turn. "It's endless, until you end it. I know that. And I really don't have any reason to want to live, so why am I afraid?"

The Kaizer smirked. "Do you think you have too much to live for?"

"No… but I don't want to disappear forever either-" he cut me off. "-you only want a break from the problems, from the betrayal, and from the pain."

"Yes………. your right, then… it truly is endless…nothing will ever cease… this pain will go on forever… and I'll always be trapped…"

"that's right sweet, trapped forever in a cage you made yourself."

"Kaizer…"I shuffled my bed into the mirrors view, so I could see my reflection.

"mm?"

I shut my eyes. I was giving in. No turning back.

"will you hold me?"

he smirked. "of course…" those words held no comforting tone. His voice was instead malicious, as always.

I wrap myself in his cloak

No turning back. Never again.

Let the darkness consume.

**I'm your dream, make you real

I'm your eyes when you must steal

I'm your pain when you can't feel

Sad but true

I'm your truth,

telling lies

I'm your reason

alibis

I'm inside open your eyes

I'm you

You know it's

sad but true**

""Ken- gaaah why am I so sad?

Kuro- cuz I love angsty bois >=D'''

Ken-*pout*""

Okay, I'm sorry if this chappy was super confusing… if it was, ask me and I'll try to sort it out for you ^^;;