Digimon Fan Fiction ❯ Degrees of Protection ❯ Unprotected ( Chapter 1 )

Note 1: You asked for it, you got it. The story of how Yamato and Koushirou broke up. This isn't a happy fic. You'll probably call it out of character, but it's a breakup fic, so people are gonna be snippy, snappy, and annoyed. Deal with it.

Note 2: Um...yeah. Let's hear it for the girly blonde or something like that. -_-;; Yeah. Oh yeah, and for sadness and such, too. And some OOC-ness...yeah...

Koushirou was busily working away on his computer when Yamato came in, hugging him from behind and kissing his cheek. "Kou-chan." He bit his lip and snuggled closer as Koushirou continued to work. "Kou-chan? Dinner's ready."

"It can wait." Koushirou muttered absently as he continued to work. Yamato blinked, biting his lip again as he managed to get into Koushirou's lap and look up at him.

"But it'll get cold..." He had worked for so long on dinner, and now Koushirou was just ignoring it!

The redhead snapped sharply, "Yamato, I'm busy!!"

"You've been working for five hours straight. C-can't you just take a little break?" Yamato looked at him with pleading eyes. "I...I never get to spend any time with you anymore."

"I am trying to finish this, Yamato, stop nagging me!" Koushirou's temper was on the verge of snapping altogether. Yamato closed his eyes.

"Kou-chan, please, just a little bit, just for dinner, please. You need to eat."

The Child of Knowledge was getting just a bit tired of this. " Are you deaf??" He'd already said it once, he didn't want to have to keep on saying it.

"N-no..." Yamato got up, not looking at him. "I just thought..."

"Just get out of the way." Koushirou growled, annoyed. Yamato sighed quietly, nodding.

"I'm...I'm sorry. I didn't mean to disturb you." The blonde tried to calm himself down, not wanting to cry in front of Koushirou. He had found himself getting more and more emotional as the years had passed, and he still didn't like showing tears in front of someone else, especially someone he loved as much as he loved Koushirou. "I just thought it would be nice to spend a little time together on our anniversary."

Koushirou didn't so much as bat an eye on Yamato ran out of the room, still involved in his new program. Yamato leaned against a wall outside, fighting back the tears. I know what'll get Kou-chan to notice me. I'll make him something special. I know just what to do. He headed into the kitchen to get started, then noticed one of the ingredients he needed was stored high on one of the shelves. He bit his lip, staring up at it for a few moments before he started to climb carefully onto the counter to get it.

He was balanced very precariously as he reached for the spice on the very top of the rack, and as his hand closed on it, he felt himself slipping. He tumbled off backwards, bringing the whole spice rack with him, and landed with a thump and a pained squeak. He stayed where he was, too hurt to move for a few moments, then winced as he heard Koushirou's angry voice.

"What are you doing??" The redhead sounded very angry as Yamato tried to stammer out an answer. "Well? What is it?"

Yamato gulped. "I was just trying to...to get something."

"Why?"

The blonde winced faintly. "I needed it to finish making something." He half-whispered, hearing Koushirou's footsteps as the redhead came closer to the kitchen.

"You're clumsy!" Koushirou glared down at him angrily, entering the doorway and glaring at the one still laying on the floor, stammering apologies. "Get up!"

Yamato tried to, but cried out in pain and protest as he did, tears sliding down his cheeks. "I...I'm sorry. I didn't mean to disturb you. I'll be fine, you...you can go f-finish your work."

"Get up." Koushirou said flatly, looking down at him with dark black eyes. Yamato tried again, whimpering in pain as he slumped back down.

"I-I'll..." He almost flinched as Koushirou started to reach for him. "No...d-don't worry a-about me...I'm fine. J-just...you said you have to finish, right? I...it would be better if you do that." Yamato smiled the best he could right then. Koushirou glared at him, then headed back to his computer, his mind already going back to work as he did so.

Yamato kept trying to get up, holding in the sounds of pain to the best of his ability, until he slumped down in defeat, tears coursing down his cheeks. "Help me...please help me..." He squeezed his eyes shut, noting in the back of his mind that Koushirou almost seemed to notice him, then shook his head. He was going to do this. Using all of his strength, he stood up, his back to Koushirou now, and his shirt unknowingly riding up to reveal a very nasty bruise on his back. Koushirou, looking over his shoulder, frowned as he saw it.

"You're going to the hospital." He said flatly. Yamato blinked, looking towards him in confusion.

"Wh-what?"

Koushirou stood up. "You heard me. You're going to the hospital. You've hurt yourself pretty badly. You probably shouldn't even be standing."

Yamato bit his lip, shaking his head slightly. "I-it's just a bruise." He didn't look at Koushirou. "I'm fine, it...it doesn't hurt that much. I've had a lot worse, a-and...and it'll heal up real soon." He stared down at the mess he'd made falling. "I...I don't want to go to the hospital...n-not on our anniversary."

"What?"

The blonde spoke up louder, but firmly. "I don't...don't want to go there on our anniversary..." It was their anniversary, and he wanted to be here with his beloved. Not in some crummy hospital where it smelled bad and was disgusting.

"You're joking." Koushirou was startled. "Our anniversary?"

Yamato nodded slightly, and almost started crying as he realized that Koushirou had forgotten it. He was just about to write it off, to claim that it wasn't their anniversary, his mistake, not wanting Koushirou mad at him. He could see Koushirou looked at the calendar and frowning. "I...I must have the wrong day..."

Koushirou frowned more. "I'd remember it." Yamato nodded slightly, still not looking at Koushirou, wincing as he saw the redhead go over and close his computer down. "You're going to the hospital."

"No."

"Yes!" Koushirou snapped the word like an order, then picked up Yamato easily and carried him out. Yamato wasn't very heavy, even after all his growth had come in, and Koushirou could handle him with ease. The blonde trembled in pain.

"Kou-chan, you're hurting me!" he complained, and Koushirou just kept on carrying him.

"You have to go to the doctor." He was resolute in this. Yamato was hurt, and hurt meant doctor.

The blonde shook his head hard. "No...I don't, I swear I don't! Please, Kou-chan!"

"Shut up." Koushirou was tired and cranky and annoyed over a lot of things he couldn't explain to Yamato, things about the computer program he was working on that just wasn't working out right. All he really wanted was the peace and quiet to get it all done, then he'd lavish all the attention on his Yamato that he deserved, and then some.

Both of them remained quiet until they'd gotten to the hospital, and Yamato started to try and pull away again. "Kou-chan, can't we please just go home?" That got another order to shut up, and Yamato's blue eyes widened. "Why are you being so mean?" This was just not like his Kou-chan!

"You've hurt yourself when you didn't have to!" Koushirou snapped, and Yamato winced, in pain both physical and emotional.

"You act like I meant to fall." That hurt more than the pain in his back did.

Koushirou shook his head. "You weren't being careful."

"I didn't want to disturb you!" Yamato flinched back from the dark glare that Koushirou delivered to him, his eyes tearing up again. "I just want to go home, please, Kou-chan, can't we just go back home? This is stupid, it's just a bruise, they can't do anything for it."

The redhead paid no attention to him as he brought him to the desk and explained things to a nurse. The neatly dressed lady nodded them both to a seat after telling them that a doctor would be with them as soon as possible.

Yamato looked at him as they sat down together. "You're not listening to me! Kou-chan!" The other didn't even look at him. "Will you at least give me some sort of sign that you're hearing what I'm saying?"

"Rest." Koushirou told him, and Yamato sighed, standing up with some difficulty. The redhead wouldn't let him move away, though, holding him firmly by a wrist.

"Let me go." Yamato breathed quietly as Koushirou shook his head. "Please let go of me. You're hurting me!"

Koushirou could be rather pigheaded when he wanted something, though. "No. You need to see a doctor."

"That doesn't change the fact that you're hurting me, Kou-chan!" Yamato declared. "Let me go!" Koushirou released him, and the blonde held his wrist to his chest, looking at him. "Why are you being so mean to me?" He wanted an answer and he wanted it now!

The redhead shook his head. "I'm not. You need help, Yamato. You've hurt yourself. You know that."

Yamato looked at him with hurt blue eyes. "I just wanted to make you something special! You keep acting like I meant to fall." He turned away from the unforgiving black eyes. "You forgot, you know. Why do you think I spent all day cooking? Why do you think I was making my brownies for you? It's our anniversary and you forgot all about it!"

Koushirou reached for him as he saw the calendar on this wall, and he knew that Yamato was right, he had forgotten. His heart broke as he heard the sobs coming out of his love. Koushirou put a hand on his shoulder, and Yamato turned and threw his arms around him, crying into Koushirou's shirt.

"You forgot all about it! You forgot and you yelled at me and you don't want to spend any time with me!" Yamato sniffled, being adorable even in his sorrow, and Koushirou patted him on the shoulder gently.

"I'm sorry." He said quietly, and Yamato looked up at him in shock. "I'm sorry."

The blonde shook his head. "Don't apologize." He snuggled closer into Koushirou. "It's my fault. It...it was..."

Koushirou frowned slightly. "Hush."

"But..."

The redhead shook his head firmly. "I said hush."

Yamato was not going to be deterred however. "Kou-chan...if...if I hadn't kept bothering you, and if I hadn't been so stupid to climb onto the counter to try to get that spice in the first place, this wouldn't have happened."

"Yama-chan." Koushirou said quietly. "It's my fault. If I had paid more attention to you..."

The two of them went back and forth in that vein for a while, both refusing to think the other was at fault in the slightest. Yamato sniffled. "I don't understand why you just won't admit that it was my fault." He snuggled into Koushirou, mumbling that it was his fault over and over again, until Koushirou growled softly in anger. He jumped back a bit, looking away. "You're mad at me again."

"Yamato." Koushirou said quietly, and the blonde looked back at him, to be surprised by a tender kiss.

Yamato blushed deeply. "Wh-what was th-th-that for?"

"I love you."

The blonde's eyes widened in shock as he blushed. "I...I love you, Kou-chan." He snuggled into Koushirou the best he could just then. He would have willingly given everything to his lover if he'd asked for it right then. "I want to go home."

"You need to stay." Koushirou said firmly, and Yamato started to sniffle, clinging to him.

"I want to go home. Please...I..." Yamato trembled, not wanting to say what was on his mind, but feeling he had to.

Koushirou shook his head. "We're staying. No buts."

Yamato sniffled again. "Please...I...I'm scared." There, he'd said it.

"You'll be fine." Koushirou didn't want to listen to Yamato's fears right now. They'd leave once the doctor had checked him out, and not one second sooner.

"Please, Kou-chan." Yamato begged. "I just...I don't want to be here."

The redhead was firm. "Yes. Yes, we are staying." Yamato pouted even more, about to protest again when Koushirou cut him off. "We. Are. Staying. No questions."

Fat tears had just started to roll down Yamato's cheeks when the doctor came over to them. Koushirou explained in a clinical tone what was going on, and what he was worried over, that Yamato could have injuries that didn't show right away. The doctor nodded slightly.

"Come on, this won't take long." He motioned to Yamato, who clung onto Koushirou for dear life, still crying.

The doctor nodded slightly, then looked at Yamato, his voice quite gentle and soothing. "I'm not going to hurt you, I just have to check to make sure it's just a bruise is all."

Yamato just kept clinging, the tears still rolling down. Koushirou looked at him. "Yama-chan. Let him check you out." The blonde shook his head as he pressed very close to Koushirou. "Yama-chan." The redhead started to pull away, and Yamato shrieked, moving so that he was in the exact same position with Koushirou as he was before the redhead had moved away.

The doctor chuckled, amused. "Maybe you should come with us." Koushirou sighed and nodded, then followed the doctor to an examining room. The professional motioned for Yamato to be laid face down on the table, and Koushirou nodded.

"Yamato, get on the table, face-down." Koushirou told him when the other didn't move, not having seen the motion. Yamato looked up at him, terrified.

"I..." He blushed. "But I don't want to be away from you."

Koushirou patted his hand gently. "You won't be." Yamato could be very clingy at times.

Yamato didn't move an inch, though. "C-can't you...can't you lay down with me? Please?"

Koushirou considered it for a moment, then laid down on the table, Yamato laying on top of him, to the amusement of the doctor as he lifted Yamato's shirt up to look. He examined carefully, then stepped back.

"Well, it looks as if it's just some bruising, nothing more." the doctor reported. "It should clear up in a few days."

Yamato looked at Koushirou hopefully. "Can we go home now?" The redhead looked at the doctor, who nodded his permission, and Koushirou nodded back to Yamato, who squealed in joy and snuggled into him adorably. "Home?"

A few days later, Yamato was straddling Koushirou's lap again, snuggling into him, and kissing Koushirou's neck quite softly as the other worked on his computer. "Yama." Koushirou murmured. "I'm working on something."

Yamato nodded slightly as he bit his lip. "C-can I..." He blushed a most becoming shade of red. "Do you m-mind if I stay with you o-on your lap?" Koushirou just gave him a look, and Yamato blushed even deeper. "O-or I could just...go..."

"I'm busy." The redhead said flatly. He had resumed his normal distant manner after they'd come back from the hospital, and Yamato could barely keep himself from complaining out loud that Koushirou had promised they'd spend time together, and they hadn't. The blonde worked his way over to the couch and sniffled, fighting back his tears once more. "Hush." Koushirou muttered absently as he worked through a particularly tricky piece of code.

Yamato sniffled again. "But you promised!"

"I'm busy!" Koushirou snapped at him, and Yamato shook his head.

"You've said that for the past four days."

The redhead looked over at him. "And I am."

"You also promised that you'd make time for me." Yamato looked down sadly. "Don't you care about me at all anymore?"

Koushirou's temper was fraying. This thing was almost acting as if it were alive, causing problems for him. "I said I'm busy!"

"Aren't you always?" Yamato looked at him sadly. "Aren't you always doing something that's more important than me, more important than what I want, more important than what I need? I could be bleeding to death, and you wouldn't even notice, you're so wrapped up in being busy with your computer!"

"Stop being so selfish!" Koushirou growled impatiently. "This is important!"

Yamato curled up on the couch. "You wouldn't care." That hurt, deep inside, worse than anything else had.

"You could try for another job to hold for a week." Koushirou drawled at him. Yamato glared for a moment.

"I have tried! I've tried twenty times and been fired after two days, maximum, on any of them! And I've tried to find another job, but no one will hire me! What would you have me do, sell myself in order to make some money?"

Koushirou snorted. "No one else would want you."

"Oh, of course not. After all, I'm just some worthless piece of trash who isn't worth the time of day, who isn't worth anyone's attention." Yamato stood up. "If you'll excuse me, I'm sure that there's something sharp enough to make sure no one has to waste time or attention on me anymore."

"Stop being so theatric." Koushirou was starting to dive back into his computer work. Yamato could be so annoying at times...

The blonde was not believing his ears, but at the same time, he felt as if it were only right. "That's all I am to you, isn't it? An act, just a pretty face with no feelings behind it. I need to spend time with you, it's the way I am, Kou-chan! And you never do anything with me anymore! You don't even hold me anymore, not even at night!"

Koushirou spared him a glance. "Yamato, you're overacting. You're not on stage anymore."

"And I suppose I couldn't possibly know what I'm talking about." Yamato refused to look at Koushirou, not wanting him to see the tears, to see the weakness.

"I've told you how important this is." The redhead reminded him. "I have to do things like pay rent and bills."

Yamato shook his head. "...and that, of course, gets raked up so high because you're dating someone who's just so "high maintenance," of course."

"You are."

The blonde shook his head sadly. "Then maybe it would be better if I was gone?"

"Where would you go?" Koushirou dived back into his work fully, hardly listening to anything else.

Yamato shrugged. "Would it matter?" He stifled his emotions; Koushirou hadn't caught his hidden meaning in the question. Maybe Koushirou didn't care about him anymore... "Is there anything specific you'd like for dinner?" The redhead barely shrugged, and Yamato bit his lip, wanting to be the perfect housekeeper for him, if nothing else. "You..." He shivered a tad. "I want to make sure I make something you actually want this time, Kou-chan...I'll...I'll be in the kitchen..."

Koushirou didn't look up as Yamato headed into the kitchen, going straight for the knife drawer and searching through it. "He wouldn't even care." The blonde murmured louder than he'd intended, holding the sharpest knife they owned. He didn't even notice a few others that fell to the floor with a harsh clanging noise. "I'd be...I'd be doing him a favor..." He held the knife to his wrist. "H-he's right...no one would want me...I'm just a stupid, worthless, high maintenance bitch..." Yamato closed his eyes and tried to cut, but his hand froze as if denying him even this. He threw the knife the floor and collapsed to his knees, sobbing.

"Yamato, would you cut the noise, I'm trying to work in here!" Koushirou snapped harshly. Yamato trembled, hiccupping slightly before he cut it off into sniffles.

"I'm such an idiot." He whispered to himself. "Such a weak idiot. I can't even do it. I can't even help him out and take myself off his hands." He picked up the knife and stared at it before he put it and all the others that had fallen back into the draw and slammed it shut.

"Keep it down!" Koushirou yelled, and Yamato jumped, staring brokenly at the now-closed drawer.

"Kou-chan...Kou-chan, would it hurt..." He wasn't sure if he really heard the harsh demand of what he wanted, or if it was just in his imagination. "Would it hurt to die?"

The redhead growled, not liking being pulled out of his work. "What are you talking about?"

"D-do you think it would hurt to die?" Yamato asked a bit louder. Koushirou sounded quite angry.

"How should I know?"

Yamato nodded slightly to himself. "Would anyone miss me?" He shuddered, repeating it louder without even realizing it. "Would anyone miss me if I died?" He slid down to the floor, tears in his eyes. "W-would anyone notice? I...I'm just a stupid little bitch...not worth the time of day...K-Kou-chan would be better without me...w-would he notice? W-would he care?"

Koushirou turned towards the kitchen door, distracted by the barely audible mumblings. "Are you whining again?"

"I should...just do it." Yamato shook his head, his eyes distant. "I should do it for Kou-chan...he'd be happier if I was dead...and I only want him happy..." He trembled a little, tears spilling again silently. "But I'm too scared to..." He headed into the other room, hugging Koushirou from behind as he buried his face in the redhead's shoulder.

"Yamato!" Koushirou was at a very delicate point, and he kept being interrupted!

"W-would you notice if I died?" Yamato asked, repeating himself when Koushirou demanded it. The computer genius looked at him in surprise.

"Of course!"

Yamato looked at him. "B-because I wouldn't be here to bother you anymore...you'd be happier, wouldn't you?" He sounded only interested, not accusing.

Koushirou wasn't happy, though. "Yamato, stop this."

"Please, I just...I need to know." The blonde quivered, staring at him. "Please just tell me if I'm right."

"Yes!" Koushirou snapped, annoyed, irritated, and just wanting the peace and quiet to finish what he'd been working on for over two weeks. He had a deadline and he was going to miss it, they were going to lose money they needed badly...

Yamato nodded slightly. "I...would there be a way that's less painful than any other...?" Koushirou growled angrily, and Yamato ducked his head. "I only want to make you happy."

"Then stop interrupting me!"

Yamato nodded again, then slipped out of the room stopping only long enough to murmur, "I...I love you." Koushirou didn't look up, only kept on working. Yamato headed into the bathroom, closed and locked the door, then huddled into himself, trembling. "He...he wants me to...to...to..." He shuddered, holding his hands to his chest as his heart broke.

"Yamato!" The shout was loud and irritated. "Where's dinner?"

The blonde bit his lip, then headed out. "What would you like me to make for you, Koushirou-sama?" He didn't even notice the change in what he'd called Koushirou. The redhead named off a few dishes, and Yamato nodded, heading into the kitchen. Inside half an hour he had it all ready, working as fast as he could without screwing it up, and brought it out to him.

"Here you go, Koushirou-sama." He gave the redhead a quick peck on the cheek and went back to start cleaning things up. Just as he was done, he heard the sound of the plate being pushed away and hitting what sounded like one of Koushirou's computer books. "Are you finished, Koushirou-sama?" he asked politely, going back in there. The other nodded, and Yamato smiled, feeling that it didn't reach his eyes, but not really caring right now. "Is there anything else you'd like, Koushirou-sama?"

"No." Koushirou was already heading back into his work once more.

"Just let me know if there's anything I can do for you, Koushirou-sama." Yamato asked, watching as the redheaded nodded, absorbed in his work again. He headed back into the kitchen, and spent the next several hours cleaning up, making certain he kept well out of the other's way. He worked until everything in there sparkled with cleanliness.

"Yamato?" Koushirou looked over at him several hours later as his computer shut down. The blonde looked back over at him at once.

"Koushirou-sama?" He asked quietly. "Do you need something?"

The redhead nodded. "Let's go to bed."

Yamato blinked in confusion. "I...I just have to finish..."

"Let's go."

The blonde looked down sadly. "I just need to finish cleaning a couple more things, Koushirou-sama. I've been neglecting my duties to keep it clean." Koushirou frowned; he knew perfectly well that Yamato cleaned everyday. "I can't let you live in such a filthy house, Koushirou-sama."

Koushirou was getting rather annoyed. "I said bed."

"As soon as I finish, Koushirou-sama." Yamato turned back to cleaning, trembling. He didn't like not doing what Koushirou said, but he had to. "I'll be done soon. You should get some rest, you need it."

"Did you hear me?" Koushirou hated hearing the sound of other people moving around when he was trying to sleep, that was why he wanted them to go to bed at the same time. Yamato nodded his understanding, and Koushirou headed for the bedroom.

Yamato was about to follow, then bit his lip as he looked around the apartment. "It's not right for Koushirou-sama to live in such a filthy place. It's not right...how could I let it get this dirty? I...I could never be good enough for him if I let his home get this dirty."

"Yamato! Get in here!!" The cry came sharp and commanding, and Yamato obeyed, head bowed.

"Koushirou-sama, I don't deserve to be..." He muttered, right over Koushirou's annoyed 'whatever'. "I really have to finish cleaning, Koushirou-sama. I'll finish as quickly as possible."

As the redhead slid into bed, he glared over at his blonde companion. "I don't know why you're still cleaning, we could eat off the ceiling!"

"W...what?" Yamato looked confused. What in the world did Koushirou mean by that? "What do you mean, Koushirou-sama?"

Koushirou glared at him much more harshly. "The apartment is clean enough!"

"But it's..."

"Shut up." Koushirou ordered, not noticing the pain that flashed through Yamato's eyes for a moment before they went dead again. "Come to bed. Now."

Yamato nodded and changed into his nightclothes, then curled into the bed, taking as little space as he could. He laid there, not fighting back as Koushirou ran a loving hand down him, simply opening himself up for the redhead. Koushirou stopped suddenly, and the blonde looked over at him. "Why did you stop, Koushirou-sama? I-isn't this what you want?"

"What is wrong with you?" Koushirou snapped, glaring at him in angry disgust.

Yamato was even more confused now. "Koushirou-sama? I don't...understand..."

"You've lost your mind." Koushirou snapped, sitting up. "I am not dealing with this anymore." This was not the kind of thing he'd had in mind at all.

Yamato stared him, his voice strangled and harsh as if his entire life had just been completely torn from him. "Koushirou-sama? I...I don't understand. What did I do wrong? I...please tell me, Koushirou-sama, I...I have to fix it...it's my fault, just please, let me know what I did and I'll fix it."

The redhead glared angrily at him. "You're a psycho prima donna! You can't stand that I might think about something that isn't you!"

"I...I'll be better, I promise, Koushirou-sama." Yamato promised, then paled at what was said next.

"I'm leaving."

"N-no! Please don't...Koushirou-sama, please don't go. I'll be good, I'll stop bothering you all of the time. I swear, just please don't go!" Yamato begged as Koushirou got out of bed and started to pack quickly. The blonde jumped up and ran over to him, wrapping his arms around him. "I..I know I've been horrible, and I know you have no reason to stay, but, please...I need you." He stared as Koushirou shoved him away, then fell back on the bed. "Koushirou-sama! Please, listen!" Koushirou kept on packing, and Yamato came to a horrible conclusion. "I...if you're final on this, then...Koushirou-sama, wouldn't it be...better if I were the one to go?"

The redhead turned finally to look at him. "What are you calling me?" Yamato tilted his head in confusion. "Well?"

Yamato still had no answer, and Koushirou was not at all happy with what was going on here, growling furiously. Yamato trembled a little. "I...Koushirou-sama, I don't understand..."

"You're calling me Koushirou-sama." Koushirou said quietly. Yamato blinked and looked away. He hadn't really thought about it, it had just happened. "Well?"

Yamato stared down. "I don't know why, Koushirou-sama. But...if you're sure you want to do this, I'll go." It killed him to say it, but he wouldn't not say it. As Koushirou grabbed his bag, Yamato grabbed Koushirou's legs. "What would be the point of me staying here, Koushirou-sama? The apartment is in your name...I have no money. It would make sense for you to stay and me to go...I'll...I'll just get all of my things together and...and...move in with my father again." He got up and started to gather his things together.

"Fine." Koushirou knew Yamato was right, but he didn't have to be graceful about it. He watched as Yamato gathered his few things together, then looked at him.

"I only want you happy, Koushirou-sama." Yamato looked away quickly, and Koushirou snorted.

"No, you want to be a prima donna."

Yamato closed his eyes against the tears as he started to leave, then paused at the apartment door to put his shoes on. "Did you mean it? When you said that you would be happy if I die, did you mean it?"

"If you're going to go, go! Look for someone else to leech off of!" Koushirou snapped. He wanted this over with as soon as possible. It would be less painful for the both of them.

He means yes. Yamato sighed mentally, then looked at him. "Just one more question. Please, I need to know. Did you ever love me? Even for just a minute?"

Koushirou glared at him. "Ishida." His voice was cold and unfriendly. He hadn't thought his lovable Yama-chan could be this much of a self-centered jerk. Couldn't he understand that he had to get this finished before they could spend time together? No, it was all him, him, him.

"Please, answer me." Yamato wouldn't look at him. "I...I need to know."

Koushirou sighed, and nodded. "Yes."

"Thank you." Yamato nodded slightly and opened the door, still not looking at him. Doing that would show the tears streaming down his cheeks, and that doing this was killing him. "Thank you for everything, Koushirou-sama." He stepped out, dropping his keys inside the door as he closed it, then headed for the elevator. In his heart, without even being consciously aware, he decided he would find someone who looked like his beloved Kou-chan. Yamato no longer cared what happened to himself, though. All he wanted was to be back with the one he loved.

To no longer feel so alone, and unprotected.