Digimon Fan Fiction ❯ Drifting Pieces ❯ Insect Wings ( Chapter 8 )
[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]
By: Yeaomi 
Things aren't always as black and white as they seem. Though Daisuke wishes they were. At least then he'd know what to do to make this problem disappear.
Anime/Manga: Digimon Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Psychological | Type: Shounen-ai | Uploaded On: 09.19.2010 | Updated On: 09.11.2012 | Pages: 5 | Words: 6.9K | Visits: 341 | Status: Completed
Things aren't always as black and white as they seem. Though Daisuke wishes they were. At least then he'd know what to do to make this problem disappear.
Anime/Manga: Digimon Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Psychological | Type: Shounen-ai | Uploaded On: 09.19.2010 | Updated On: 09.11.2012 | Pages: 5 | Words: 6.9K | Visits: 341 | Status: Completed
Author’s Note:This fic was originally partially posted at the end of 2010. Since then, I have rewritten every single chapter and done a serious edit as well as finished the story. If you have not visited since October of 2010, I recommend that you start over. It’s worth it (05/2012).
I hope you enjoy this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it. Please review!
Chapter 08: Insect Wings
The desert was quiet and still, rustling softly from the occasional breeze. The sun was slowly rising and the heat of the day was only just starting to warm the shifting sands.
The Kaiser sat silently next to Ken, watching everything unravel before him. He felt alive and it felt good. Even the little annoyances felt amazing. The shifting, gritty and warm sand under him and blowing into his eyes with every gentle breeze, the bright sun glinting off of the white dunes in the cloudless sky making him wish that he still had his trademarked violet shades, the feel of his own heart beating solidly in his chest… But then again, it wasn’t his own heart that he was feeling, was it?
As they had passed through the gate, he had felt his mind cloud over and jumble as the gate tried to decipher the data and desires of the minds and souls that passed through it. Daisuke had gotten his standard hero’s flames and fluff, but when the gate had gotten to Ken… Two minds, two desires, two images, two bodies.
He had been amazed at the outcome that even he couldn’t have predicted. His games to torment and take control were now at a whole new level. It was easy and entertaining to watch from the back of Ken’s mind as the boy struggled to understand and live in denial… But to be face-to-face with his ‘problems’ was more than he could have ever hoped for. It was so delicious to see the torment flash over his face with each confused thought and action.
And yet… There was so much that he was still trying to work out for himself and more still that he was just starting to understand.
He could feel Daisuke’s heart next to his own as the Digital World made the jogress bond stronger and almost tangible.
His own heart felt odd as it struggled to strike out independently, sometimes following Daisuke’s and at other times leading strongly or falling behind with a whimper. Kaiser wondered if Daisuke could feel it too. A theory was starting to form and he was impatient to test it, but at the same time he was almost scared to find the answer.
Focusing on the steady and faltering beats, he suspected that he and Ken were sharing more than a heart…
“Ken…?” Daisuke snapped him out of his thoughts in his usual annoying but endearing way.
Both boys answered in unison. “Yes?”
This earned a glare from both Daisuke and Ken.
“Oh, I’m sorry. Am I expected to answer by a different name? Do you like calling me Kaiser? It’s just a title, really, but if you enjoy the master servant angle, I’m more than willing to oblige. I would also answer to Ichijouji if you want to try something a little more formal and respectful. Or would you like to just name me yourself like you would a pet?”
This earned another glare that he found so beautiful in those dark chocolate eyes.
Daisuke tried again, this time turning to face Ken fully. “Ken. Are you alright?”
Ken shook his head slightly but let out a weak, “Yeah… I think so.”
“He’s fine. He’s just coming to terms with having his own psychosis on display for everyone to see. It’s not every day that you can come face-to-face with your own insanity.” He knew Ken’s dark secrets. Ken knew that he knew and Kaiser could see it in his eyes that Ken was quickly nearing a snapping point. There was something cold and familiar in those eyes that he knew he’d find in his own.
“Kaiser.” Daisuke snapped and looked like he really wanted to hit him again. Oh, please do.
“Daisuke?” He loved the way Daisuke’s demeanor would change completely when dealing with Ken or Kaiser. One moment he was handling an injured bird and the next a tiger.
Daisuke kneeled down in front of him and looked him in the eyes, sending shivers down his spine. “Out there… When you’re in there…” He gestured lightly towards Ken. “You were safe. In here… It’s just like old times. I will take you down if you so much as take one step out of line. Veemon has my full permission to use your head as a soccer ball.”
To the side, he could see Beemon grinning and taking up guard to uphold the Motomiya law.
“Are you afraid I’m going to take up my whip and try our little song and dance again?” Kaiser slowly stood up, pleased as always that he was taller than the tanned boy. “I don’t make the same mistakes twice. Not like he does.” Another gesture towards Ken, who was starting to look like he wanted to sink away into the sand. “I was nothing but a puppet back then. Power hungry and being used. I was… naïve.” Oh how he hated that word.
Daisuke looked like he was about to say something when Wormmon suddenly spoke up, startling everyone.
“If you aren’t here to take over again… Why are you here?”
Kaiser turned around and looked down at the little digimon fully. The poor creature must have been so confused right about now. He was bound to Ken no matter what the circumstance. Ever loyal, he had stood next to him through the darkest of times… But now he had the boy he loved and the boy he had failed to protect.
He paused long enough to consider the tiny little virus type, searching his own feelings and thoughts on the matter. Wormmon sat patiently, looking back at him with those large blue eyes that had once pained him to look at.
Once he was certain on the matter, he slowly walked up to the small digimon. Daisuke stiffened and Ken looked up sharply, something passing over his features that Kaiser logged away for later study.
Wormmon shrank back in the shadow of his former master. “Wormmon… The biggest mistake I made was taking you for granted. You are stronger than I could have ever imagined and I should have taken better care of you. I promise that what ever happens… I will never raise an angry hand to you again.”
Leaning down, he scooped up his Digimon and lightly stroked his antenna between his fingers. Wormmon squirmed in surprise then slowly leaned into the familiar warm touch, which earned a pained look from Ken.
“I don’t know why I’m here… How it’s possible for me to be here. Not yet at lest. Yet here I am and I plan to take full advantage of such an improbability. I want my life back. I worked hard for what I had and he thinks he can just swoop in and screw it all away without working for it himself. That he can ruin it all because he’s a changed man. Those were MY grades. MY family. MY publicity. MY soccer title and MY respect. I’m no longer willing to sit by and watch as he fucks it all up and destroys my life.” His hands were trembling in a barely controlled rage, yet his touch remained light on the little digimon and Wormmon didn’t shy away.
Kaiser took note of how Ken’s hands were trembling ever so slightly and his eyes burned with a cold flame.
Kaiser took several deep breaths to calm himself then smiled as he continued to gently stroke the digimon’s head. “It’s not your life, Ken. It never was. I was here longer, and I was here first.”
A sudden understanding bloomed behind Ken’s eyes and it was beautiful. “No… It’s not your life. It’s mine. It’s my life. You… You’re not real. I…” Ken was standing now and the look on his face was priceless.
“That’s where you’re wrong, my dear sweet Ken. I’m more real than you ever were. I will have it back and I will be better at it than you ever were. Look at how little it took to make you crack. You’re too scared to deal with your parents, unable to cope with school, you can’t stand the spotlight, and you’re terrified of the ghost of your brother. You can’t even admit to what you want to do to our dear Motomiya… All I had to do was lay it all out for you and just look at you… You’re cracking, Ken.” His heart shuddered and he felt a flash of rage rush through him.
Daisuke looked as if he was about to punch him again. As Kaiser prepared to take the hit full on, he was suddenly tackled from the side. Wormmon slipped from his arms as the two dark haired boys rolled down a small dune in a flurry of sand. Daisuke charged down after them with Veemon hot on his heels.
Kaiser smirked and allowed Ken to get the upper hand when they hit the bottom of the hill. Pinned back with Ken on top of him, he could only laugh at how easy it all was.
A rough hiss of air escaped him as Ken shoved him down roughly into the sand. “Is this just like your little fantasy, Kenny boy? Are you going to punish me for the crimes you committed? Will you stand back and watch me die again?”
“You don’t get to call me that. Never call me that.” Ken’s own voice trembled and for a brief moment, they sounded the same.
“Look at you… So violent. So like me. Do you feel that rush? That thrill deep inside as you imagine your hands around my throat squeezing?” He leaned up, lips just inches from Ken’s ear. “Carefully little Kenny boy. Motomiya’s watching. Do you think he’d get off on this? Maybe we could make it more interesting for him…”
Small little keening sounds escaped the other boy’s throat as he whispered, “Shut up… Just shut up… Please just shut up…”
Then Daisuke was suddenly there pulling Ken off of him and holding him back. Kaiser could still feel his heart pounding heavily in his chest, his own hands clenched tightly as his nails dug into the tender flesh of his palm.
Amusement filled him as he noticed how Ken’s hair had been tossed around in the scuffle, now a mess of spikes and sand, just like his own. Daisuke was not quite as amused as he noticed as well and suddenly took a step back, looking between the two.
“Ken, are you alright?” The question was open. Apparently Daisuke had lost track of them in the scuffle.
For the second time that day, Daisuke was answered in unison. “Yes. I’m fine.”
“…Crap.”
----
Daisuke could swear that he’d once had a dream like this. A rather heated dream that had left him hot, sweaty and very confused.
Now he just felt like he was in a nightmare.
Two Kens. Two Ichijoujis. Two objects of his affection. A voice in the back of his head objected that he only had one Ken and the other was Kaiser. But if he thought about it too hard, Kaiser had been Ken in the end and was still an object of his affection… Just one that he tended to want to bash in the head before he snuggled with him.
And the little voice in the back of his head was now informing him of his old dreams and fantasies he’d once had back during those darker times that now had nothing to do with ‘snuggling’.
Daisuke waved his hand angrily as if trying to shush the little voice. Ken must have had a little voice in the back of his head too, but now it wasn’t so little or in his head anymore.
He had no idea how this was possible, what he was supposed to do, or how he was supposed to fix it.
With something like this, he would have normally waited for someone smarter to show up and tell him whose butt to kick to solve it… Problem was, Ken was that smarter someone that he normally went to and Ken was currently looking like he was about to fall apart at the seams.
Someone as seasoned in the book of Ken as Daisuke was could easily tell that the boy was about to crash, burn, and drift away with the ashes.
Daisuke wanted nothing more than to grab the boy and dive screaming back into the digi-port where at least there, the problem was more localized in one area. But maybe it was better this way. Wasn’t it better to be able to stare down the problem and not have to wonder if the look in Ken’s eyes was really his friend or a shadow that seemed to want to… to… Have his way with me.
And there was that little voice again, sounding as smug as ever.
“No one’s doing anything to anyone so just shut up!” He flailed and ran a frustrated hand through his hair and across his goggles.
Both Kens looked up in surprise at the sudden outburst. Kaiser smirked, “Hearing voices, Daisuke? Maybe you should listen to them. It did wonders for me.”
Daisuke growled and shot him a warning look. It had taken him a whole five minutes before he could comfortably be certain on which Ken was the real Ken. Five minutes of a headache, feeling like a terrible friend, and what must have been hell to his sweet kind Ken.
Your sweet kind Ken that had been attempting to strangle the cruel evil one…
Kaiser was a surprisingly good actor when he wanted to be, but his arrogance and impatience seemed to be his weakness. Not to mention the whole subject of Daisuke in general. Daisuke had figured it out when he’d complained about the desert heat and the Kaiser had made a very wrong –wonderful- suggestion.
He now had them sitting several feet apart, separated from each other by a hastily drawn line in the sand. Veemon stood guard over the line with instructions that should any Ken, Kaiser, or Ken shaped individual approach the line or cause trouble, he was to tackle them as hard as necessary and sit on them.
Wormmon was sitting next to Daisuke and watching both boys as if he was afraid to let either of them out of his sights. Daisuke could relate.
Daisuke pulled out his D3 and checked it for what felt like the millionth time. He had sent out a frantic email just a few minutes ago reading, ‘EMERGENCY. DIGITAL WORLD NOW. BRING KOUSHIRO.”
He hoped that the fact that he’d specifically asked for Koushiro had clued them all in on just how big a problem this was. He honestly didn’t think that he could explain what had just happened without sounding like a raving lunatic.
Out of the corner of his eye, he caught Kaiser watching him like a snake watches a mouse just before striking. There was something hidden behind the cold look that left him feeling flustered and like he needed a shower. A cold shower.
Ken, who was still slowly trying to smooth out his hair, was also quietly watching him with immense guilt. Daisuke was disturbed by how Ken’s normally perfectly wispy hair wouldn’t stay down; bits of it kept spiking back up in random places. On closer inspection, Kaiser’s hair had several smoothed out portions too. It was as if they were looking in a mirror and having trouble getting coordinated.
Daisuke picked up Wormmon and gave him a squeeze. “Hey, don’t look so worried. We’ll get this sorted out soon enough!”
“I should have seen this coming. He was so stressed and I wasn’t there when he needed me…” Wormmon looked up at Daisuke with those watery baby blues that just pulled on his heart strings.
“I’ll have none of that!” Daisuke proclaimed loudly. “No guilt! None!” He gave Ken a stern look. He didn’t like how quiet Ken was being and desperately wanted to leap in and pull Ken back up before he sank away into that bottomless pit that was the Ichijouji guilt trip.
“This… This isn’t your fault. It’s no one’s fault. Sometimes things just happen and the best that anyone can do is to try and fix them.” It was a reminder to himself more than anything. He knew Ken the best and he had known that he was in a bad place, yet he hadn’t done anything to stop it.
Ken looked up and cut off any retort Kaiser had been about to toss out. “But it is my fault. How can it not be my fault? I did this… I created that.” He pointed without looking, which was probably for the best considering the look the Kaiser was now giving him.
Kaiser smiled and slowly stretched out in the sand like a lazy cat, absently brushing a few grains of sand from his pants. “He’s right, you know. He was so desperate to separate himself from his problems that he created the split. I think he’s finally starting to understand what I am at long last. It only took you twice as long as it should have, Ken. I’m still waiting for Daisuke to show some glimmer of intelligence and get it.”
Daisuke glared. Thankfully, it was Veemon who asked the burning question. “Well, what are you?”
“Potential.” Kaiser stretched again and stood up, obviously getting restless and tired of fishing the sand from his shoes.
“What the heck does that even mean?!” Daisuke was frustrated and really not in the mood to play the ‘I’m smarter than you’ Kaiser game.
Ken stayed quiet and kept his eyes firmly on the sand in front of him as if he were expecting it to put on a show.
“If I tell you, you won’t learn anything and where would the fun be?” Kaiser laughed then fixed his gaze somewhere behind Daisuke. “Ah… And the cavalry arrives. Get up, Ken. Let them see your pretty face.”
Ken flinched then slowly got to his feet. He looked like he wanted to hide and Daisuke felt terrible for having to put him through this.
Takeru was the first on the scene. “Alright, Daisuke. What’s so important that we had to pull Koushiro out of a fascinating day of computer upgrades?”
Daisuke was pleased to see Taichi and Yamato dragging along Koushiro, who was still immersed in his laptop and not watching where he was going at all.
“We have a small… problem.” Daisuke stepped aside and weakly gestured behind him.
The others all came to a stop and looked curiously up at Kaiser, who was standing front and center with a smirk. Daisuke watched their faces as they went from confusion to utter shock as one by one, they picked out Ken who was lingering back and still watching the sand blowing around his feet.
“…Fascinating!” Koushiro dropped his lap top.
----
Ken stayed back as the others listened to Daisuke’s story, which he noticed skipped over the ‘he tried to do things to me in bed’ part. At this point, he wanted nothing more than to sink into the sand and just disappear. He felt agitated as the Kaiser allowed them to look him over, surprisingly patient as if he were just humoring a bunch of dull children.
Ken was ashamed and aghast that the others were there to see this. It was upsetting enough that Daisuke had to see this… To put up with that…
Ken had understood just what the Kaiser was after his embarrassing loss of temperament that had lead to their tumble down the hill.
Thinking about that moment again, his hand shot up and he smoothed out his hair obsessively as he recalled those agonizing minutes where Daisuke had attempted to tell the two apart, and failed. It would seem that the Kaiser relished in watching him suffer.
“I’m potential.” The response rang out in his head again, causing him to wince. He could feel his heart beating strongly in his chest, feeling like a foreign object as it marched to the beat of the other.
The Kaiser was not really The Kaiser. He wasn’t the whip carrying insane power hungry child that had overstepped his bounds with the powers of darkness. No, that other boy that was wearing his manic smile and cold calculating eyes was a part of himself that he had tried to burry away and forget about long before and after those darker days.
He was desire, lust, arrogance, anger, rage, violence… And now it was all running loose and seemed to want nothing more than to destroy what was left of reserve, kindness and humility.
And take Daisuke and fuck him into the ground.
Ken shook his head to clear it and looked over at Kaiser. He was not surprised to find the Kaiser watching him out of the corner of his eyes with a sadistic smirk.
“So let me get this straight.” Koushiro cleared his throat and everyone quieted down as if he were a school teacher preparing to explain something that was overly complicated.
“Ken, while out in the real world…Had several instances where he wasn’t Ken. You two had a scuffle and when you came here… You had two, uh… Kens.” It was a very inelegant summary and judging from the look on Kaiser’s face, he thought that he could have done far better. Ken looked away as he felt a flare of arrogance roll over him when he realized that he agreed.
Koushiro had paused and looked at the two of them as if waiting for some sort of confirmation. He frowned when he didn’t receive any. “Ken, I’m afraid that we’ll need more information if we’re to discover the cause of this phenomenon.”
Kaiser sighed and walked up to Ken, draping an arm over his shoulder as if they were long time buddies.
A brief surge of alarm raced through him as he realized that being this close to the Kaiser made his head hurt. It seemed to muddle his thoughts and do funny things to his carefully controlled emotions. Ken could tell that it did the same to the Kaiser, but he didn’t seem to mind or care. It was almost as if the closer they got to each other, the harder it was to stay separate. It felt dangerous.
“I already know the answer to what we are… And I’m betting that he does too. Though I must confess that the cause still eludes me. There is one little test I would like to conduct, however. Shall we give a demonstration, Ken?” Kaiser turned to look at him fully, reaching up to place a hand firmly against his cheek.
Their eyes locked and there was a sharp pull. Ken’s heart fluttered painfully in his chest and his vision doubled for the briefest of moments.
“Do you understand yet, Ken?” The world was suddenly so far away and it was getting harder and harder to hear anyone over the sound of the waves.
Waves…
Ken’s eyes flew open and he gasped desperately for air. He couldn’t remember having fallen, yet he was flat on his back in the sand with Daisuke leaning over him yelling something.
To the side, there was more yelling and he could vaguely make out the image of Kaiser being threatened by Taichi and Yamato. They looked angry while the Kaiser looked slightly delirious.
Koushiro was at his computer looking as amazed as always while the others were all standing off to the side looking angry and confused.
“Daisuke… What happened?” Ken sat up despite his pounding head.
“I don’t know!” Daisuke was still practically leaning over him and well into Ken’s personal space. Ken was starting to find it rather distracting. “He touched you and you both just kinda… Flickered or something. It looked like you were phasing! Then you just collapsed! Are you alright? What did he do?”
Ken felt like he was blushing, seeing Daisuke leaning over him like this. He was so close and the gentle hand on his arm was quite soothing…
His eyes watched Daisuke’s lips as he talked and Ken subconsciously liked his own lips. It would be so easy to just take it… So fast. All he would have to do would be to lean up just a little and…
“Ken?”
“Dai…Suke… ;” He blinked, realizing his hand was now resting on Daisuke’s shoulder. “I… I’m fine. Just…” Off to the side, the Kaiser was now watching him intently, reminding him of a hungry wolf watching a wounded animal.
There was an odd sensation at the back of his mind, almost like something or someone trying to worm their way inside.
Ken shuddered and slowly sat up fully, pulling away from Daisuke. “I’m fine.”
“Well now!” Everyone jumped, including Kaiser, at the sudden intrusion of the loud and overly friendly voice of Gennai. “If you were going to cause trouble, the polite thing to do would be to cause it in a place that isn’t going to get sand in my boots.” His voice was gentle and un-accusing, though his eyes fell on Ken heavily and seemed to drill a hole right through him.
Ken looked away and slowly got to his feet, still feeling disoriented. Daisuke placed a hand on his shoulder in an attempt to steady him.
The others were now moving in to greet Gennai, which left Kaiser free to slowly wander back towards Ken. Ken instantly backed up slightly, keeping Daisuke between them carefully. The Kaiser was hardly fazed as he settled naturally on the other side of Daisuke.
Ken wondered if the rising heat was finally starting to get to Daisuke as the boy’s face suddenly seemed beyond flushed.
As the others busily set to work with filling Gennai in on the details as they knew them, Gennai’s eyes kept wandering back to Ken and Kaiser, a curious glint to them as he listened to the story.
The Kaiser did not seem perturbed in the slightest as he kept his own cold steely stare fixed on Gennai. To anyone else, that look would have almost seemed bored. Ken, on the other hand, was very familiar with that particular look. He’d seen it on his own face far too many times in the past.
It was the look one gave a curious insect while trying to decide if they were going to step on it or not.
“Well, my young Ichijouji!” Ken started as Gennai suddenly started to make his way towards them.
He instinctively leaned into Daisuke, seeking what ever strength he could get from the child of courage. Curiously, the flush on Daisuke’s face seemed to be spreading rapidly. Ken was starting to wonder if perhaps his partner should go sit in the shade before he suffered from heat stroke.
“That’s quite the interesting story they’ve told me!” Gennai smiled and looked from boy to boy. “But I get the feeling there’s more to it than we all think. I have my theories of course, but I’d very much like to hear your side of it. Er… Sides.” His smile was far too bright for Ken’s liking.
Of course in the past Gennai had been an odd but decent guardian to them all, but Ken had never gotten over a deep seeded distrust for the guardian. Perhaps it had something to do with the sad and almost guilty looks Gennai was always giving him.
Ken had a feeling it all had to do with his first experience in the digital world, which still only came to him in sketchy dreams and nightmares.
Gennai knew about those lost memories but had always refused to talk about them. Any time Ken had managed to get him alone to ask, he had always been given the same speech that ‘some things were best left in the past’.
Gennai looked from Ken to Kaiser as if trying to make up his mind about something. “If you don’t mind, I’d like to talk to each of you privately for a moment.”
Kaiser’s face twitched ever-so-slightly, giving away for the briefest of moments his utter dislike for the man before it smoothed back over to his contemptuous smile. Seems that we have one thing in common after all…
Gennai proved to be sharper than he looked as his broad smile instantly turned towards Kaiser and he placed a hand on his shoulder. “Come, my boy! I’d very much like to speak with you first.”
“Are you sure that’s a good idea? To go anywhere alone with him?” Takeru spoke up at last.
Kaiser looked over at the tall blond in surprise. Ken’s eyes narrowed as he saw something else flicker through the Kaiser’s eyes. Fear? No, he must have been imagining it. The Kaiser certainly did not fear someone like Takeru. Whatever it had been, it was well hidden now.
“I promise not to maim to old coot.” Kaiser held up his hand in a show of making a pledge. Of course Gennai wasn’t so old anymore, and he was surprisingly agile… But with all of Ken’s judo training, it would be very interesting to see who would win in a fight.
Gennai smiled at Takeru and nodded to the boy reassuringly. “I’m sure he’ll behave himself. Besides, I think I can take him.” Apparently Gennai was betting on himself.
“Yes… I’m sure you could.” Kaiser’s smile made Ken shiver. He could feel the pure malice radiating off of his double. Apparently he had decided not to step on this insect just yet, but to pull the wings off and watch it crawl around.
One more comforting nod from Gennai and the two of them strolled out across the desert, looking for all the world like two old friends out on a casual walk. Once they were out of ear shot, they started to talk.
Ken and Daisuke watched for a moment. Whatever it was that they were discussing, it looked like Kaiser was quickly getting the upper hand and hardly being helpful to the situation. As their talk continued there was a moment where Ken felt a flash of pure hate boil up inside of him before he could squash it down and dismiss it like the foreign object that it was.
Daisuke, apparently not oblivious to Ken’s struggles, suddenly spoke up. “So uh… How’s everyone’s vacation going?”
This earned him more than one exasperated look.
“Well I’m just glad to not have to be in school! One more minute in there and I thought I’d go crazy! Er…” His eyes darted towards Ken so fast he must have made himself dizzy. “Not that being crazy’s a bad thing! I mean, there are lots of awesome crazy people out there! …I mean, I’m sure they don’t think that being crazy is awesome but they… It… It’s better than school, right?”
Everyone stared at Daisuke.
Ken smiled then shook his head and laughed softly. He felt the tension lower around them as the others joined in. Daisuke rubbed his nose and grinned sheepishly at Ken. Suddenly, it didn’t matter what happened, everything was going to be alright as long as Daisuke was there with him.
Wormmon climbed up his leg and nestled into Ken’s arms to add his own affection to the moment while Veemon sauntered up and patted his leg in a show or approval and support.
For a brief moment it felt like just a normal day with everyone simply hanging out in the digital world and enjoying their break. They could pretend that there wasn’t a psychotic version of Ken just a few feet away talking to the guardian of the Digital World.
The moment ended all too soon as Kaiser rejoined their group, looking far too smug for his own good. “Your turn, Kenny boy.”
Any good feelings Ken might have had disappeared like a grain of sand blowing past his feet. Kaiser took up his position next to Daisuke again, one arm snaking out to wrap around Daisuke’s waist to pull the boy closer. Daisuke’s face flushed deeply and this time, Ken felt the pains of jealousy starting to rise up inside of him.
He hesitated, his hands trembling ever so slightly, as he looked over at Gennai waiting patiently for him out in the sand.
Daisuke looked about to protest or offer to go with him but Ken shook his head in a silent ‘no thanks’ and walked towards the guardian, clutching Wormmon to his small frame desperately. Wormmon didn’t seem to mind as he tried to comfort his partner by nuzzling his arms.
His pace was slow and the wind was starting to pick up a bit, blowing sand into his eyes and through his hair. Behind him he could still hear the others talking until their voices floated up and away with the wind.
Ken could feel the edge of a memory start to stir in the back of his mind. It didn’t feel like a pleasant one from the way his gut was starting to wrench.
Sand. The wind was blowing and there was so much sand. He tried to focus on just getting to Gennai. He was there. His sad guilty eyes always on me. Always watching… By now, he must have been squeezing Wormmon a little too hard as the little digimon squirmed in his arms to make himself more comfortable. Wormmon crumpled on the sand. Osamu shattered in the road. And the boy…
He stumbled slightly in the sand as the memory refused to stay down. Osamu’s harsh voice. Gennai’s sad eyes. And that boy…
“Ken, its unfortunate that we keep meeting this way.”
Ken looked up at Gennai sharply, his eyes cold and distant. “Why am I not surprised to find you still meddling in my life?”
Gennai kept his gaze on Ken for a moment, focused and almost looking for something. “Curious that you both had the same question for me.”
Ken’s eyes softened and he looked away. “Why is this happening, Gennai?” His voice was almost brittle this time, begging for an answer that he knew Gennai wouldn’t be able to provide.
Gennai softened and moved closer to Ken. “Problems out in the real world follow you in here, Ken. This isn’t an escape. I would have thought that you’d have figured that one out by now.” The answer to a question that hadn’t been asked or wanted.
Ken looked down at Wormmon, his large blue eyes keeping Ken grounded and calm. He decided to stop their little game before it started and just get to the point. “What is he?”
“He’s you. Talking with him made that very clear, actually. He’s quite the difficult one, just like you always were.” Gennai chuckled at some distant memory that only he could see.
Ken didn’t share his humor at the situation.
Gennai frowned when Ken did not crack a smile. “Have you been under a lot of stress lately?”
Ken sighed, “Yes.”
Wormmon spoke up quickly, “Always. Especially this week. This was the week that-”
Ken shifted Wormmon in his arms a bit too roughly and kept his gaze firmly on the ground.
Gennai raised his eyebrows but didn’t comment on it.
They were silent for a moment before Gennai cleared his throat loudly as if trying to clear the past demons from the air.
“You can’t stay divided forever, Ken. A soul isn’t meant to be split in two. If you don’t fix this soon, the damage may be irreversible.”
“What is that supposed to mean?” Ken snapped.
Gennai sighed and for a brief moment, Ken thought that Gennai might actually give him a straight answer. “You two are still connected. The longer you stay divided, the more the dominant one will start to take over. Right now, the break is still tenuous. Both of your emotions and thoughts are rippling across your connection and overwhelming the other. You’re both dangling by some very tightly wound strings.”
Ken fought back the anger that was slowly welling up inside him. It burned and threatened to eat him alive. Behind him, he knew the Kaiser was watching.
“And when those strings snap?”
Gennai stayed silent for an uncomfortably long period of time.
Wormmon was looking from Gennai to Ken with worry in his large deep blue eyes.
Ken shook his head as he decided that he already knew the answer. “What about the waves?” He pushed on impatiently.
This time Ken took a bit of pleasure in catching Gennai off guard.
“Waves?” The infuriating casual and innocent look that followed confirmed everything for him.
“Old man.” Ken started slowly, his voice soft and quiet and anything but kind. “Someday you will regret toying with me.”
Turning his back on the guardian, Ken started back towards the others. Towards Daisuke. Towards his nightmare. Behind him, he could feel those sad guilt ridden eyes watching him go.
Gennai’s soft voice followed him on the wind. “He said the same thing, actually…”
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Di sclaimer: According to Wikipedia: Akiyoshi Hongo was the creator of the Digimon concept. Bandai, Saban Entertainment and various other entities that are not me own Digimon. I am in no way making money off of this and am strictly using the characters and world for my own fan based fiction.
Converting /tmp/phpoU2vgX to /dev/stdout
I hope you enjoy this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it. Please review!
Chapter 08: Insect Wings
The desert was quiet and still, rustling softly from the occasional breeze. The sun was slowly rising and the heat of the day was only just starting to warm the shifting sands.
The Kaiser sat silently next to Ken, watching everything unravel before him. He felt alive and it felt good. Even the little annoyances felt amazing. The shifting, gritty and warm sand under him and blowing into his eyes with every gentle breeze, the bright sun glinting off of the white dunes in the cloudless sky making him wish that he still had his trademarked violet shades, the feel of his own heart beating solidly in his chest… But then again, it wasn’t his own heart that he was feeling, was it?
As they had passed through the gate, he had felt his mind cloud over and jumble as the gate tried to decipher the data and desires of the minds and souls that passed through it. Daisuke had gotten his standard hero’s flames and fluff, but when the gate had gotten to Ken… Two minds, two desires, two images, two bodies.
He had been amazed at the outcome that even he couldn’t have predicted. His games to torment and take control were now at a whole new level. It was easy and entertaining to watch from the back of Ken’s mind as the boy struggled to understand and live in denial… But to be face-to-face with his ‘problems’ was more than he could have ever hoped for. It was so delicious to see the torment flash over his face with each confused thought and action.
And yet… There was so much that he was still trying to work out for himself and more still that he was just starting to understand.
He could feel Daisuke’s heart next to his own as the Digital World made the jogress bond stronger and almost tangible.
His own heart felt odd as it struggled to strike out independently, sometimes following Daisuke’s and at other times leading strongly or falling behind with a whimper. Kaiser wondered if Daisuke could feel it too. A theory was starting to form and he was impatient to test it, but at the same time he was almost scared to find the answer.
Focusing on the steady and faltering beats, he suspected that he and Ken were sharing more than a heart…
“Ken…?” Daisuke snapped him out of his thoughts in his usual annoying but endearing way.
Both boys answered in unison. “Yes?”
This earned a glare from both Daisuke and Ken.
“Oh, I’m sorry. Am I expected to answer by a different name? Do you like calling me Kaiser? It’s just a title, really, but if you enjoy the master servant angle, I’m more than willing to oblige. I would also answer to Ichijouji if you want to try something a little more formal and respectful. Or would you like to just name me yourself like you would a pet?”
This earned another glare that he found so beautiful in those dark chocolate eyes.
Daisuke tried again, this time turning to face Ken fully. “Ken. Are you alright?”
Ken shook his head slightly but let out a weak, “Yeah… I think so.”
“He’s fine. He’s just coming to terms with having his own psychosis on display for everyone to see. It’s not every day that you can come face-to-face with your own insanity.” He knew Ken’s dark secrets. Ken knew that he knew and Kaiser could see it in his eyes that Ken was quickly nearing a snapping point. There was something cold and familiar in those eyes that he knew he’d find in his own.
“Kaiser.” Daisuke snapped and looked like he really wanted to hit him again. Oh, please do.
“Daisuke?” He loved the way Daisuke’s demeanor would change completely when dealing with Ken or Kaiser. One moment he was handling an injured bird and the next a tiger.
Daisuke kneeled down in front of him and looked him in the eyes, sending shivers down his spine. “Out there… When you’re in there…” He gestured lightly towards Ken. “You were safe. In here… It’s just like old times. I will take you down if you so much as take one step out of line. Veemon has my full permission to use your head as a soccer ball.”
To the side, he could see Beemon grinning and taking up guard to uphold the Motomiya law.
“Are you afraid I’m going to take up my whip and try our little song and dance again?” Kaiser slowly stood up, pleased as always that he was taller than the tanned boy. “I don’t make the same mistakes twice. Not like he does.” Another gesture towards Ken, who was starting to look like he wanted to sink away into the sand. “I was nothing but a puppet back then. Power hungry and being used. I was… naïve.” Oh how he hated that word.
Daisuke looked like he was about to say something when Wormmon suddenly spoke up, startling everyone.
“If you aren’t here to take over again… Why are you here?”
Kaiser turned around and looked down at the little digimon fully. The poor creature must have been so confused right about now. He was bound to Ken no matter what the circumstance. Ever loyal, he had stood next to him through the darkest of times… But now he had the boy he loved and the boy he had failed to protect.
He paused long enough to consider the tiny little virus type, searching his own feelings and thoughts on the matter. Wormmon sat patiently, looking back at him with those large blue eyes that had once pained him to look at.
Once he was certain on the matter, he slowly walked up to the small digimon. Daisuke stiffened and Ken looked up sharply, something passing over his features that Kaiser logged away for later study.
Wormmon shrank back in the shadow of his former master. “Wormmon… The biggest mistake I made was taking you for granted. You are stronger than I could have ever imagined and I should have taken better care of you. I promise that what ever happens… I will never raise an angry hand to you again.”
Leaning down, he scooped up his Digimon and lightly stroked his antenna between his fingers. Wormmon squirmed in surprise then slowly leaned into the familiar warm touch, which earned a pained look from Ken.
“I don’t know why I’m here… How it’s possible for me to be here. Not yet at lest. Yet here I am and I plan to take full advantage of such an improbability. I want my life back. I worked hard for what I had and he thinks he can just swoop in and screw it all away without working for it himself. That he can ruin it all because he’s a changed man. Those were MY grades. MY family. MY publicity. MY soccer title and MY respect. I’m no longer willing to sit by and watch as he fucks it all up and destroys my life.” His hands were trembling in a barely controlled rage, yet his touch remained light on the little digimon and Wormmon didn’t shy away.
Kaiser took note of how Ken’s hands were trembling ever so slightly and his eyes burned with a cold flame.
Kaiser took several deep breaths to calm himself then smiled as he continued to gently stroke the digimon’s head. “It’s not your life, Ken. It never was. I was here longer, and I was here first.”
A sudden understanding bloomed behind Ken’s eyes and it was beautiful. “No… It’s not your life. It’s mine. It’s my life. You… You’re not real. I…” Ken was standing now and the look on his face was priceless.
“That’s where you’re wrong, my dear sweet Ken. I’m more real than you ever were. I will have it back and I will be better at it than you ever were. Look at how little it took to make you crack. You’re too scared to deal with your parents, unable to cope with school, you can’t stand the spotlight, and you’re terrified of the ghost of your brother. You can’t even admit to what you want to do to our dear Motomiya… All I had to do was lay it all out for you and just look at you… You’re cracking, Ken.” His heart shuddered and he felt a flash of rage rush through him.
Daisuke looked as if he was about to punch him again. As Kaiser prepared to take the hit full on, he was suddenly tackled from the side. Wormmon slipped from his arms as the two dark haired boys rolled down a small dune in a flurry of sand. Daisuke charged down after them with Veemon hot on his heels.
Kaiser smirked and allowed Ken to get the upper hand when they hit the bottom of the hill. Pinned back with Ken on top of him, he could only laugh at how easy it all was.
A rough hiss of air escaped him as Ken shoved him down roughly into the sand. “Is this just like your little fantasy, Kenny boy? Are you going to punish me for the crimes you committed? Will you stand back and watch me die again?”
“You don’t get to call me that. Never call me that.” Ken’s own voice trembled and for a brief moment, they sounded the same.
“Look at you… So violent. So like me. Do you feel that rush? That thrill deep inside as you imagine your hands around my throat squeezing?” He leaned up, lips just inches from Ken’s ear. “Carefully little Kenny boy. Motomiya’s watching. Do you think he’d get off on this? Maybe we could make it more interesting for him…”
Small little keening sounds escaped the other boy’s throat as he whispered, “Shut up… Just shut up… Please just shut up…”
Then Daisuke was suddenly there pulling Ken off of him and holding him back. Kaiser could still feel his heart pounding heavily in his chest, his own hands clenched tightly as his nails dug into the tender flesh of his palm.
Amusement filled him as he noticed how Ken’s hair had been tossed around in the scuffle, now a mess of spikes and sand, just like his own. Daisuke was not quite as amused as he noticed as well and suddenly took a step back, looking between the two.
“Ken, are you alright?” The question was open. Apparently Daisuke had lost track of them in the scuffle.
For the second time that day, Daisuke was answered in unison. “Yes. I’m fine.”
“…Crap.”
----
Daisuke could swear that he’d once had a dream like this. A rather heated dream that had left him hot, sweaty and very confused.
Now he just felt like he was in a nightmare.
Two Kens. Two Ichijoujis. Two objects of his affection. A voice in the back of his head objected that he only had one Ken and the other was Kaiser. But if he thought about it too hard, Kaiser had been Ken in the end and was still an object of his affection… Just one that he tended to want to bash in the head before he snuggled with him.
And the little voice in the back of his head was now informing him of his old dreams and fantasies he’d once had back during those darker times that now had nothing to do with ‘snuggling’.
Daisuke waved his hand angrily as if trying to shush the little voice. Ken must have had a little voice in the back of his head too, but now it wasn’t so little or in his head anymore.
He had no idea how this was possible, what he was supposed to do, or how he was supposed to fix it.
With something like this, he would have normally waited for someone smarter to show up and tell him whose butt to kick to solve it… Problem was, Ken was that smarter someone that he normally went to and Ken was currently looking like he was about to fall apart at the seams.
Someone as seasoned in the book of Ken as Daisuke was could easily tell that the boy was about to crash, burn, and drift away with the ashes.
Daisuke wanted nothing more than to grab the boy and dive screaming back into the digi-port where at least there, the problem was more localized in one area. But maybe it was better this way. Wasn’t it better to be able to stare down the problem and not have to wonder if the look in Ken’s eyes was really his friend or a shadow that seemed to want to… to… Have his way with me.
And there was that little voice again, sounding as smug as ever.
“No one’s doing anything to anyone so just shut up!” He flailed and ran a frustrated hand through his hair and across his goggles.
Both Kens looked up in surprise at the sudden outburst. Kaiser smirked, “Hearing voices, Daisuke? Maybe you should listen to them. It did wonders for me.”
Daisuke growled and shot him a warning look. It had taken him a whole five minutes before he could comfortably be certain on which Ken was the real Ken. Five minutes of a headache, feeling like a terrible friend, and what must have been hell to his sweet kind Ken.
Your sweet kind Ken that had been attempting to strangle the cruel evil one…
Kaiser was a surprisingly good actor when he wanted to be, but his arrogance and impatience seemed to be his weakness. Not to mention the whole subject of Daisuke in general. Daisuke had figured it out when he’d complained about the desert heat and the Kaiser had made a very wrong –wonderful- suggestion.
He now had them sitting several feet apart, separated from each other by a hastily drawn line in the sand. Veemon stood guard over the line with instructions that should any Ken, Kaiser, or Ken shaped individual approach the line or cause trouble, he was to tackle them as hard as necessary and sit on them.
Wormmon was sitting next to Daisuke and watching both boys as if he was afraid to let either of them out of his sights. Daisuke could relate.
Daisuke pulled out his D3 and checked it for what felt like the millionth time. He had sent out a frantic email just a few minutes ago reading, ‘EMERGENCY. DIGITAL WORLD NOW. BRING KOUSHIRO.”
He hoped that the fact that he’d specifically asked for Koushiro had clued them all in on just how big a problem this was. He honestly didn’t think that he could explain what had just happened without sounding like a raving lunatic.
Out of the corner of his eye, he caught Kaiser watching him like a snake watches a mouse just before striking. There was something hidden behind the cold look that left him feeling flustered and like he needed a shower. A cold shower.
Ken, who was still slowly trying to smooth out his hair, was also quietly watching him with immense guilt. Daisuke was disturbed by how Ken’s normally perfectly wispy hair wouldn’t stay down; bits of it kept spiking back up in random places. On closer inspection, Kaiser’s hair had several smoothed out portions too. It was as if they were looking in a mirror and having trouble getting coordinated.
Daisuke picked up Wormmon and gave him a squeeze. “Hey, don’t look so worried. We’ll get this sorted out soon enough!”
“I should have seen this coming. He was so stressed and I wasn’t there when he needed me…” Wormmon looked up at Daisuke with those watery baby blues that just pulled on his heart strings.
“I’ll have none of that!” Daisuke proclaimed loudly. “No guilt! None!” He gave Ken a stern look. He didn’t like how quiet Ken was being and desperately wanted to leap in and pull Ken back up before he sank away into that bottomless pit that was the Ichijouji guilt trip.
“This… This isn’t your fault. It’s no one’s fault. Sometimes things just happen and the best that anyone can do is to try and fix them.” It was a reminder to himself more than anything. He knew Ken the best and he had known that he was in a bad place, yet he hadn’t done anything to stop it.
Ken looked up and cut off any retort Kaiser had been about to toss out. “But it is my fault. How can it not be my fault? I did this… I created that.” He pointed without looking, which was probably for the best considering the look the Kaiser was now giving him.
Kaiser smiled and slowly stretched out in the sand like a lazy cat, absently brushing a few grains of sand from his pants. “He’s right, you know. He was so desperate to separate himself from his problems that he created the split. I think he’s finally starting to understand what I am at long last. It only took you twice as long as it should have, Ken. I’m still waiting for Daisuke to show some glimmer of intelligence and get it.”
Daisuke glared. Thankfully, it was Veemon who asked the burning question. “Well, what are you?”
“Potential.” Kaiser stretched again and stood up, obviously getting restless and tired of fishing the sand from his shoes.
“What the heck does that even mean?!” Daisuke was frustrated and really not in the mood to play the ‘I’m smarter than you’ Kaiser game.
Ken stayed quiet and kept his eyes firmly on the sand in front of him as if he were expecting it to put on a show.
“If I tell you, you won’t learn anything and where would the fun be?” Kaiser laughed then fixed his gaze somewhere behind Daisuke. “Ah… And the cavalry arrives. Get up, Ken. Let them see your pretty face.”
Ken flinched then slowly got to his feet. He looked like he wanted to hide and Daisuke felt terrible for having to put him through this.
Takeru was the first on the scene. “Alright, Daisuke. What’s so important that we had to pull Koushiro out of a fascinating day of computer upgrades?”
Daisuke was pleased to see Taichi and Yamato dragging along Koushiro, who was still immersed in his laptop and not watching where he was going at all.
“We have a small… problem.” Daisuke stepped aside and weakly gestured behind him.
The others all came to a stop and looked curiously up at Kaiser, who was standing front and center with a smirk. Daisuke watched their faces as they went from confusion to utter shock as one by one, they picked out Ken who was lingering back and still watching the sand blowing around his feet.
“…Fascinating!” Koushiro dropped his lap top.
----
Ken stayed back as the others listened to Daisuke’s story, which he noticed skipped over the ‘he tried to do things to me in bed’ part. At this point, he wanted nothing more than to sink into the sand and just disappear. He felt agitated as the Kaiser allowed them to look him over, surprisingly patient as if he were just humoring a bunch of dull children.
Ken was ashamed and aghast that the others were there to see this. It was upsetting enough that Daisuke had to see this… To put up with that…
Ken had understood just what the Kaiser was after his embarrassing loss of temperament that had lead to their tumble down the hill.
Thinking about that moment again, his hand shot up and he smoothed out his hair obsessively as he recalled those agonizing minutes where Daisuke had attempted to tell the two apart, and failed. It would seem that the Kaiser relished in watching him suffer.
“I’m potential.” The response rang out in his head again, causing him to wince. He could feel his heart beating strongly in his chest, feeling like a foreign object as it marched to the beat of the other.
The Kaiser was not really The Kaiser. He wasn’t the whip carrying insane power hungry child that had overstepped his bounds with the powers of darkness. No, that other boy that was wearing his manic smile and cold calculating eyes was a part of himself that he had tried to burry away and forget about long before and after those darker days.
He was desire, lust, arrogance, anger, rage, violence… And now it was all running loose and seemed to want nothing more than to destroy what was left of reserve, kindness and humility.
And take Daisuke and fuck him into the ground.
Ken shook his head to clear it and looked over at Kaiser. He was not surprised to find the Kaiser watching him out of the corner of his eyes with a sadistic smirk.
“So let me get this straight.” Koushiro cleared his throat and everyone quieted down as if he were a school teacher preparing to explain something that was overly complicated.
“Ken, while out in the real world…Had several instances where he wasn’t Ken. You two had a scuffle and when you came here… You had two, uh… Kens.” It was a very inelegant summary and judging from the look on Kaiser’s face, he thought that he could have done far better. Ken looked away as he felt a flare of arrogance roll over him when he realized that he agreed.
Koushiro had paused and looked at the two of them as if waiting for some sort of confirmation. He frowned when he didn’t receive any. “Ken, I’m afraid that we’ll need more information if we’re to discover the cause of this phenomenon.”
Kaiser sighed and walked up to Ken, draping an arm over his shoulder as if they were long time buddies.
A brief surge of alarm raced through him as he realized that being this close to the Kaiser made his head hurt. It seemed to muddle his thoughts and do funny things to his carefully controlled emotions. Ken could tell that it did the same to the Kaiser, but he didn’t seem to mind or care. It was almost as if the closer they got to each other, the harder it was to stay separate. It felt dangerous.
“I already know the answer to what we are… And I’m betting that he does too. Though I must confess that the cause still eludes me. There is one little test I would like to conduct, however. Shall we give a demonstration, Ken?” Kaiser turned to look at him fully, reaching up to place a hand firmly against his cheek.
Their eyes locked and there was a sharp pull. Ken’s heart fluttered painfully in his chest and his vision doubled for the briefest of moments.
“Do you understand yet, Ken?” The world was suddenly so far away and it was getting harder and harder to hear anyone over the sound of the waves.
Waves…
Ken’s eyes flew open and he gasped desperately for air. He couldn’t remember having fallen, yet he was flat on his back in the sand with Daisuke leaning over him yelling something.
To the side, there was more yelling and he could vaguely make out the image of Kaiser being threatened by Taichi and Yamato. They looked angry while the Kaiser looked slightly delirious.
Koushiro was at his computer looking as amazed as always while the others were all standing off to the side looking angry and confused.
“Daisuke… What happened?” Ken sat up despite his pounding head.
“I don’t know!” Daisuke was still practically leaning over him and well into Ken’s personal space. Ken was starting to find it rather distracting. “He touched you and you both just kinda… Flickered or something. It looked like you were phasing! Then you just collapsed! Are you alright? What did he do?”
Ken felt like he was blushing, seeing Daisuke leaning over him like this. He was so close and the gentle hand on his arm was quite soothing…
His eyes watched Daisuke’s lips as he talked and Ken subconsciously liked his own lips. It would be so easy to just take it… So fast. All he would have to do would be to lean up just a little and…
“Ken?”
“Dai…Suke… ;” He blinked, realizing his hand was now resting on Daisuke’s shoulder. “I… I’m fine. Just…” Off to the side, the Kaiser was now watching him intently, reminding him of a hungry wolf watching a wounded animal.
There was an odd sensation at the back of his mind, almost like something or someone trying to worm their way inside.
Ken shuddered and slowly sat up fully, pulling away from Daisuke. “I’m fine.”
“Well now!” Everyone jumped, including Kaiser, at the sudden intrusion of the loud and overly friendly voice of Gennai. “If you were going to cause trouble, the polite thing to do would be to cause it in a place that isn’t going to get sand in my boots.” His voice was gentle and un-accusing, though his eyes fell on Ken heavily and seemed to drill a hole right through him.
Ken looked away and slowly got to his feet, still feeling disoriented. Daisuke placed a hand on his shoulder in an attempt to steady him.
The others were now moving in to greet Gennai, which left Kaiser free to slowly wander back towards Ken. Ken instantly backed up slightly, keeping Daisuke between them carefully. The Kaiser was hardly fazed as he settled naturally on the other side of Daisuke.
Ken wondered if the rising heat was finally starting to get to Daisuke as the boy’s face suddenly seemed beyond flushed.
As the others busily set to work with filling Gennai in on the details as they knew them, Gennai’s eyes kept wandering back to Ken and Kaiser, a curious glint to them as he listened to the story.
The Kaiser did not seem perturbed in the slightest as he kept his own cold steely stare fixed on Gennai. To anyone else, that look would have almost seemed bored. Ken, on the other hand, was very familiar with that particular look. He’d seen it on his own face far too many times in the past.
It was the look one gave a curious insect while trying to decide if they were going to step on it or not.
“Well, my young Ichijouji!” Ken started as Gennai suddenly started to make his way towards them.
He instinctively leaned into Daisuke, seeking what ever strength he could get from the child of courage. Curiously, the flush on Daisuke’s face seemed to be spreading rapidly. Ken was starting to wonder if perhaps his partner should go sit in the shade before he suffered from heat stroke.
“That’s quite the interesting story they’ve told me!” Gennai smiled and looked from boy to boy. “But I get the feeling there’s more to it than we all think. I have my theories of course, but I’d very much like to hear your side of it. Er… Sides.” His smile was far too bright for Ken’s liking.
Of course in the past Gennai had been an odd but decent guardian to them all, but Ken had never gotten over a deep seeded distrust for the guardian. Perhaps it had something to do with the sad and almost guilty looks Gennai was always giving him.
Ken had a feeling it all had to do with his first experience in the digital world, which still only came to him in sketchy dreams and nightmares.
Gennai knew about those lost memories but had always refused to talk about them. Any time Ken had managed to get him alone to ask, he had always been given the same speech that ‘some things were best left in the past’.
Gennai looked from Ken to Kaiser as if trying to make up his mind about something. “If you don’t mind, I’d like to talk to each of you privately for a moment.”
Kaiser’s face twitched ever-so-slightly, giving away for the briefest of moments his utter dislike for the man before it smoothed back over to his contemptuous smile. Seems that we have one thing in common after all…
Gennai proved to be sharper than he looked as his broad smile instantly turned towards Kaiser and he placed a hand on his shoulder. “Come, my boy! I’d very much like to speak with you first.”
“Are you sure that’s a good idea? To go anywhere alone with him?” Takeru spoke up at last.
Kaiser looked over at the tall blond in surprise. Ken’s eyes narrowed as he saw something else flicker through the Kaiser’s eyes. Fear? No, he must have been imagining it. The Kaiser certainly did not fear someone like Takeru. Whatever it had been, it was well hidden now.
“I promise not to maim to old coot.” Kaiser held up his hand in a show of making a pledge. Of course Gennai wasn’t so old anymore, and he was surprisingly agile… But with all of Ken’s judo training, it would be very interesting to see who would win in a fight.
Gennai smiled at Takeru and nodded to the boy reassuringly. “I’m sure he’ll behave himself. Besides, I think I can take him.” Apparently Gennai was betting on himself.
“Yes… I’m sure you could.” Kaiser’s smile made Ken shiver. He could feel the pure malice radiating off of his double. Apparently he had decided not to step on this insect just yet, but to pull the wings off and watch it crawl around.
One more comforting nod from Gennai and the two of them strolled out across the desert, looking for all the world like two old friends out on a casual walk. Once they were out of ear shot, they started to talk.
Ken and Daisuke watched for a moment. Whatever it was that they were discussing, it looked like Kaiser was quickly getting the upper hand and hardly being helpful to the situation. As their talk continued there was a moment where Ken felt a flash of pure hate boil up inside of him before he could squash it down and dismiss it like the foreign object that it was.
Daisuke, apparently not oblivious to Ken’s struggles, suddenly spoke up. “So uh… How’s everyone’s vacation going?”
This earned him more than one exasperated look.
“Well I’m just glad to not have to be in school! One more minute in there and I thought I’d go crazy! Er…” His eyes darted towards Ken so fast he must have made himself dizzy. “Not that being crazy’s a bad thing! I mean, there are lots of awesome crazy people out there! …I mean, I’m sure they don’t think that being crazy is awesome but they… It… It’s better than school, right?”
Everyone stared at Daisuke.
Ken smiled then shook his head and laughed softly. He felt the tension lower around them as the others joined in. Daisuke rubbed his nose and grinned sheepishly at Ken. Suddenly, it didn’t matter what happened, everything was going to be alright as long as Daisuke was there with him.
Wormmon climbed up his leg and nestled into Ken’s arms to add his own affection to the moment while Veemon sauntered up and patted his leg in a show or approval and support.
For a brief moment it felt like just a normal day with everyone simply hanging out in the digital world and enjoying their break. They could pretend that there wasn’t a psychotic version of Ken just a few feet away talking to the guardian of the Digital World.
The moment ended all too soon as Kaiser rejoined their group, looking far too smug for his own good. “Your turn, Kenny boy.”
Any good feelings Ken might have had disappeared like a grain of sand blowing past his feet. Kaiser took up his position next to Daisuke again, one arm snaking out to wrap around Daisuke’s waist to pull the boy closer. Daisuke’s face flushed deeply and this time, Ken felt the pains of jealousy starting to rise up inside of him.
He hesitated, his hands trembling ever so slightly, as he looked over at Gennai waiting patiently for him out in the sand.
Daisuke looked about to protest or offer to go with him but Ken shook his head in a silent ‘no thanks’ and walked towards the guardian, clutching Wormmon to his small frame desperately. Wormmon didn’t seem to mind as he tried to comfort his partner by nuzzling his arms.
His pace was slow and the wind was starting to pick up a bit, blowing sand into his eyes and through his hair. Behind him he could still hear the others talking until their voices floated up and away with the wind.
Ken could feel the edge of a memory start to stir in the back of his mind. It didn’t feel like a pleasant one from the way his gut was starting to wrench.
Sand. The wind was blowing and there was so much sand. He tried to focus on just getting to Gennai. He was there. His sad guilty eyes always on me. Always watching… By now, he must have been squeezing Wormmon a little too hard as the little digimon squirmed in his arms to make himself more comfortable. Wormmon crumpled on the sand. Osamu shattered in the road. And the boy…
He stumbled slightly in the sand as the memory refused to stay down. Osamu’s harsh voice. Gennai’s sad eyes. And that boy…
“Ken, its unfortunate that we keep meeting this way.”
Ken looked up at Gennai sharply, his eyes cold and distant. “Why am I not surprised to find you still meddling in my life?”
Gennai kept his gaze on Ken for a moment, focused and almost looking for something. “Curious that you both had the same question for me.”
Ken’s eyes softened and he looked away. “Why is this happening, Gennai?” His voice was almost brittle this time, begging for an answer that he knew Gennai wouldn’t be able to provide.
Gennai softened and moved closer to Ken. “Problems out in the real world follow you in here, Ken. This isn’t an escape. I would have thought that you’d have figured that one out by now.” The answer to a question that hadn’t been asked or wanted.
Ken looked down at Wormmon, his large blue eyes keeping Ken grounded and calm. He decided to stop their little game before it started and just get to the point. “What is he?”
“He’s you. Talking with him made that very clear, actually. He’s quite the difficult one, just like you always were.” Gennai chuckled at some distant memory that only he could see.
Ken didn’t share his humor at the situation.
Gennai frowned when Ken did not crack a smile. “Have you been under a lot of stress lately?”
Ken sighed, “Yes.”
Wormmon spoke up quickly, “Always. Especially this week. This was the week that-”
Ken shifted Wormmon in his arms a bit too roughly and kept his gaze firmly on the ground.
Gennai raised his eyebrows but didn’t comment on it.
They were silent for a moment before Gennai cleared his throat loudly as if trying to clear the past demons from the air.
“You can’t stay divided forever, Ken. A soul isn’t meant to be split in two. If you don’t fix this soon, the damage may be irreversible.”
“What is that supposed to mean?” Ken snapped.
Gennai sighed and for a brief moment, Ken thought that Gennai might actually give him a straight answer. “You two are still connected. The longer you stay divided, the more the dominant one will start to take over. Right now, the break is still tenuous. Both of your emotions and thoughts are rippling across your connection and overwhelming the other. You’re both dangling by some very tightly wound strings.”
Ken fought back the anger that was slowly welling up inside him. It burned and threatened to eat him alive. Behind him, he knew the Kaiser was watching.
“And when those strings snap?”
Gennai stayed silent for an uncomfortably long period of time.
Wormmon was looking from Gennai to Ken with worry in his large deep blue eyes.
Ken shook his head as he decided that he already knew the answer. “What about the waves?” He pushed on impatiently.
This time Ken took a bit of pleasure in catching Gennai off guard.
“Waves?” The infuriating casual and innocent look that followed confirmed everything for him.
“Old man.” Ken started slowly, his voice soft and quiet and anything but kind. “Someday you will regret toying with me.”
Turning his back on the guardian, Ken started back towards the others. Towards Daisuke. Towards his nightmare. Behind him, he could feel those sad guilt ridden eyes watching him go.
Gennai’s soft voice followed him on the wind. “He said the same thing, actually…”
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Di sclaimer: According to Wikipedia: Akiyoshi Hongo was the creator of the Digimon concept. Bandai, Saban Entertainment and various other entities that are not me own Digimon. I am in no way making money off of this and am strictly using the characters and world for my own fan based fiction.
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