Digimon Fan Fiction ❯ Drifting Pieces ❯ Points of View ( Chapter 9 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

Author’s Note:This fic was originally partially posted at the end of 2010. Since then, I have rewritten every single chapter and done a serious edit as well as finished the story. If you have not visited since October of 2010, I recommend that you start over. It’s worth it (05/2012).

I promise no triangle relationship problems in my fic. This is pure Ken/Daisuke. …even if some Kaiser Takeru is implied later on. Takeru's feelings and their relationship will be explained later. I promise. Please review.



Chapter 09: Points of View

Daisuke wasn’t a genius by any stretch of the imagination. Sometimes he wished that he was, even though Ken was always wishing that he wasn’t.

Now was one of those times as he waited for Ken to finish his one-on-one with Gennai.

Once he had extracted the Kaiser’s alarmingly strong grip from around his waist, the Kaiser had been too compliant and quiet for Daisuke’s taste.

The others had talked quietly while they waited; doing their best to pretend that everything was alright. Or perhaps they were just under the delusion that Gennai was about to solve all of Ken’s problems and they could go on with their lives like none of this ever happened.

Daisuke knew better. Nothing was ever that easy when it came to Ken Ichijouji.

Beside him, Kaiser had a look of extreme concentration etched across his face. It was the sort of look that Daisuke had long ago learned not to interrupt unless he wanted the infamous Ichijouji Look leveled at him. Then again, he wasn’t so sure that it was necessarily a good thing to let the Kaiser concentrate.

Daisuke sighed loudly and shifted impatiently from foot to foot. He couldn’t understand why Gennai had singled Ken out to talk privately. If he had something to say, he should be able to say it to them all so that they could all help. So he could help. No one knew Ken better than he did, after all.

Then again, maybe being the genius that he was, Ken has probably already figured out what Gennai was going to tell him and hadn’t wanted everyone to hear it. It was likely that Ken thought that this was his problem and hadn’t wanted to trouble anyone else.

Daisuke sighed again as he decided that this was probably the most plausible answer.

Koushiro had once explained to Daisuke that Gennai was a genius in his own way. One of those kooky ones that you had to listen to very carefully or you wouldn’t get the full meaning of what he had to say.

Daisuke had never been able to master the patience that it took to listen to Gennai and had always simply waited for the others to give him the short version later. He preferred the blunt Ken type geniuses that would always patiently explain every little detail to him no matter what ridiculous the questions he asked were.

Daisuke stood onto his toes as he looked out across the small stretch of desert where he could see Ken and Gennai talking. Even from this distance, he could tell that Ken was upset and guarded. His stiff overly straight back and the way Wormmon was being held tightly to Ken’s chest both indicated that the conversation was not going well. Then there was the way that his head was tilted back ever so slightly so that his hair wouldn’t fall across his eyes while he was looking down on something that disgusted him… Wait, that’s not right. That’s not my Ken.

Daisuke quickly looked over at Kaiser, who was eyeing Gennai with the same disgusted look on his face.

What the heck is going on here?

Before Daisuke could start to process that particular trail of thought, Ken had turned on his heels and started back towards them. He looked less pleased about his talk with Gennai than Kaiser had been.

Gennai waited for a moment, letting Ken put some distance between them, before he followed. Though he never lost the smile on his face, Daisuke couldn’t help but notice how defeated the older man appeared.

As Ken rejoined the group, he cast a look at his double. For a split second they almost seemed to be communicating silently. Some deep dark and almost tangible thought was exchanged between them and it made Daisuke’s skin crawl.

As quickly as it had come, the moment was gone and Ken moved to take up his place at Daisuke’s side. Daisuke couldn’t help but notice how Ken was clinging to him as if he were the only life raft left in the whole ocean or how Kaiser was snaking his arm back around his waist, letting his fingers lightly ghost over his hip in the process.

It’s just like that dream… The little voice piped up again, sending unpleasant little jolts through his heart and stomach and various other parts of his body that should definitely not be involved in such serious moments.

Daisuke felt like he was going red in the face again. Luckily, everyone else seemed to be more focused on Gennai and hadn’t noticed.

Everyone, that is, except for Hikari. She was pretending not to notice in a way that clearly stated that she’d noticed and understood far more than Daisuke did about it.

Gennai cleared his throat and in a solemn voice announced that it was time for him to go.

“Go?! Go where? Why? You just got here! We still have a problem! You can’t just leave and expect it to get better on its own!” Taichi of course, voicing only what everyone else was thinking. Daisuke was glad that Taichi was there to take charge while he keep his eyes on other more important Ken related things.

“There is nothing any of us can do right now, I’m afraid. How this ends is completely up to him.” Gennai didn’t bother to specify which ‘him’ he had been referring to.

“But… We can’t just leave them like this… Can we?” Iori, hesitant and deep in thought.

“Why not? I mean, until we can put them back together again it seems better that they’re separated, doesn’t it?” Miyako voiced loudly and reminded him of an old nursery rhyme about an egg and a wall.

“But wouldn’t it be better if they go back? He can’t stay here forever. At least out there in the real world they’re in the same body. And what about his family? They’ll be missing him soon.” Takeru being the grounding voice of reason as always.

“I don’t know… It didn’t sound like he was doing any better out there… If it was me, I’d rather be able to see the problem than have it in my head doing who knows what.” Yamato’s soft voice cut in, sounding far too experienced on the subject.

Next to him, Daisuke could feel Ken’s trembling hand digging into his arm. Ken hated being the center of attention and hated being talked about as if he wasn’t even there even more.

“I don’t think it’s up to us what he does.” Hikari surprised them all as she spoke up disapprovingly. Everyone sent a guilty look over to Ken, who was eyeing the sand at his feet once more.

Daisuke decided that it was time for him to toss in his own two cents. He started in slowly and softly at first as he really thought about what he was saying. “Neither of them seem out to destroy or take over anything…. But I’m not about to just leave either of them alone, either. Not out there or in here. I don’t even think that they should be left alone together. Until we solve this, and I do mean we, I go where he goes.”

This earned him a heavy eye roll from Kaiser, who pulled away from Daisuke. “Are we all quite done? As touching as this all is, it doesn’t matter where we go or what you do. I’m not going to just ‘disappear’. Frankly, I like it out here. It’s a hell of a lot saner here than it was in there.” A slender finger pointed up at Ken’s head, making Ken shrink back slightly and look away. The smile that spread across Kaiser’s face made Daisuke’s fists clench in a desperate need for action.

I will not maim I will not maim I will not maim.

Wormmon made a threateningly cute sound of anger as he squirmed around in Ken’s arms in an attempt to watch both boys wearily at the same time. It was as if was afraid that one or both of them would suddenly just disappear. Veemon seemed equally as frustrated as Daisuke was by the lack of action, appearing as if he couldn’t decide if he should tackle the other boy or not.

Ken shook his head slowly. “I can’t stay here. I… I have to get back home. My Mom… She’s probably worried.” Daisuke knew that look. Even hidden behind the long dark hair, he could spot the ‘I’m guilty and I will keep my problems to myself so no one else has to be troubled by what I do’ look.

Daisuke was about to argue with that look when Koushiro suddenly spoke up from his seat in the sand, hunched over his computer. “Actually… I think it’s best that he stays here. I have a theory that I need to test. I may know what caused this whole mess but I can’t be certain just yet. I agree that Ken needs to go home and get things settled with his family, but after being split like this here, there’s no telling what kind of damage has already been done. It could be catastrophic. Out in the real world, it’s harder to ascertain such damage, but in here we can visibly see it. Plus, there’s also the problem that while out there, I doubt very much that his parents would appreciate the uniqueness of this little problem.”

Gennai nodded sagely towards Koushiro, obviously impressed by the young genius. Koushiro was blunt, but never willing to jump into action as easily as Ken was. He liked to work through a problem methodically before voicing his solution. Ken, on the other hand, was known to see the solutions and act on them without asking for approval.

Of course everyone else looked less impressed and more alarmed by the use of words like ‘damage’ and ‘catastrophic’. Daisuke was especially alarmed and looked ready to start flailing his arms about while yelling ‘fire!’ as loudly as he could.

“Okay! We should go! Let’s go then! Make it quick! I’ll go with you! I was staying over at your house anyways so I should be there! We’ll tell your parents that we’re going to spend a few days with me and the other guys! Usual cover story! Camping or something…”

Ken frowned and looked about to protest when Takeru spoke up quickly. “We’ll help too. Yamato and Taichi are real pros at the whole cover story business.” Yamato turned bright red while Taichi pretended to look elsewhere. Daisuke wondered briefly about the implications behind that little statement.

Takeru continued seriously, thinking it all through as he went. “I doubt either option is a very good long term solution really… But at least in here we have a better grasp and control on the situation. Who knows what Kaiser could do to mess things up for Ken out in the real world. Either way, I don’t think that he should be going back and forth between worlds too often. It could make things worse. We can all stay here for a few days. I doubt that Daisuke is enough to keep watch over things all alone for the whole time. There’s no telling how long this could take. I honestly wouldn’t mind staying here. It gets me out of having to suffer through Yamato’s cooking all break.”

“Look, that was a one time incident!” Yamato sighed loudly and Taichi visibly fought back a smart remark. “But the squirt does have a point. Daisuke can’t be here alone the whole time. We should all go home and set up something with our families then come back here when we’re ready. I think that all of us would like to help you, Ken.”

Daisuke couldn’t help but grin at his friends. He was always trying to reassure Ken that they were all his friends too and that they would always be there for him when he needed them.

Finally, Ken nodded and gave the smallest smile. “Thank you. I’m sorry you all had to be troubled by this… I’ll repay you somehow for your kindness.”

Kaiser made a rude noise behind him and looked away in disgust.

Gennai clapped his hands together and smiled broadly. “Well now! I’m glad that’s worked out. I have some pressing matters that I need to check on out here. I’ll be by later to see how things are going. Hopefully I will have more answers when next I see you.” As the guardian turned and started to walk off across the sand, Daisuke caught the parting look that had been sent in Ken’s direction. Whatever they had discussed out there had left a very cold and troubled gap between them.

Belatedly, something occurred to Daisuke. “Wait… Where are we going to stay? I’m all for camping out and all, but I wouldn’t mind a roof over my head or something.”

The others all quieted down, deep in thought. None of them had considered shelter, food, or basic needs. There was no telling how long they would be stuck there and even if they came prepared, it might not be enough.

The silence was suddenly shattered by a giggle that quickly grew into barely stifled manic laughter. Daisuke looked over in alarm at Kaiser, who was practically doubled over in laughter.

“Oh no…” Ken’s quiet voice chilled the air.

There was a moment of confusion before Hikari suddenly gasped; catching a glimpse of what had set the Kaiser off. “The base!”

There it was, glinting in the distance as the sun finally sat high enough in the sky to reflect off of it properly. Still half buried in the sand, it was hard to see it properly from where they were; yet it looked just as menacing as ever.

“I can assure you that it is actually quite decent inside. Of course you never bothered to visit any of the more lavish areas besides the prison and lower levels.” Kaiser gave Takeru an almost adoring smile that left Daisuke feeling confused and… Jealous? Takeru surprisingly returned the smirk. Daisuke couldn’t help but feel like he had been left out of something.

Is it my imagination, or is there something going on between those two?

Apparently he wasn’t the only one that had noticed the transaction as Hikari suddenly looked very troubled.

“Oh please, put that look away Takaishi. I’m past that. I can assure you that if I’m going to be locking anyone up it will be for far more delicious reasons than you’re capable of thinking of. Though I’m sure those two can explain it to you later if you insist on it.” Kaiser smirked at Taichi and Yamato, who managed to outdo Daisuke in blushing while trying to look simultaneously outraged and like they have no idea what Kaiser was talking about.

Kaiser continued, sounding more than a little bored. “If I’m going to spend my days being baby sat, I at least want to sleep in a comfortable familiar bed.” He walked off towards the nearest portal without waiting for a response.

Apparently he felt that the matter was closed and no one seemed to be able to find a valid reason to disagree with him. They all remembered just how difficult it had been to debate with the Kaiser once his mind was set on something.

“Are we going?” He called back over his shoulder with a grin. “It’s almost lunch time and I’d hate to miss mother’s cooking.”

The others sighed and followed, each giving a comforting word or smile to Ken as they prepared to head back to their own gates. They didn’t bother with Kaiser, who looked far more impatient than normal.

Takeru nodded to Daisuke and whispered as he passed them, “If there’s trouble when you get back, call me immediately.” There was a slight look in his eye that Daisuke just couldn’t quite place.

Daisuke nodded and pulled Ken along gently, once again feeling as if he had missed something important.

Ken hesitated once they reached the TV. “Daisuke, wait… I don’t know what’s going to happen when I go through. Please, be careful.”

It occurred to Daisuke that no one had considered the possibility that if the Digital World could create Digimon from pure data, could it also create a human? Would he go back and find two equally real Kens waiting for him? Apparently the thought had occurred to Ken and he looked terrified.

His stomach churned as he looked over at the Kaiser wearily. The Kaiser smirked and gave Daisuke a look that brought back that uncomfortable feeling from earlier.

Daisuke swallowed hard and tried to ignore the way his voice cracked as he opened the gate. “Digi-port, open!”

There was the familiar dizzy sensation that ended in a thud as they landed back in Ken’s room with a tangle of limbs, pods, claws, and antenna.

Daisuke sat up quickly and looked around frantically, taking stock of the number of limbs.

Thankfully, there only appeared to be two Ken arms and two Ken legs in the pile. Of course which Ken was controlling those limbs was another matter completely.

Thanks to the tumble, Ken’s hair was still just as chaotic as it had been before they’d left. Just looking at him, there was no way to tell who they were dealing with.

Ken sat up slowly, a trembling hand reaching back to tenderly touch the back of his neck as his face scrunched up in pain.

Daisuke hesitated, still not quite sure who he was addressing. “…Ken? Are you okay?”

Ken didn’t respond in the slightest. He appeared to be disoriented and unsteady.

Daisuke leaned down to peer behind the curtain of hair and was startled to see how faraway Ken seemed.

It was obvious that Ken was struggling and Daisuke felt a pang in his heart as he wanted nothing more than to reach out to where ever Ken was and pull him back.

Looking him in the eyes firmly, Daisuke reached out to place a hand gingerly on his partner’s arm. “Ken… Come back to me. You can do this. You can beat it. I’m here… I’m right here with you.”

Slowly, Ken looked like he was gaining more focus as the color started to return to his cheeks.

Daisuke was about to relax when a knock at the bedroom door sent him into a fresh new panic.

Surging to his feet, he promptly tripped over Veemon and crashed back down to the floor.

The door opened quickly and a startled looking Mrs. Ichijouji peered into the room.

“My goodness! Are you boys alright?” Apparently hearing two loud thumps in a row had set off the overly protective mother radar.

“Ah! Uh, yeah! We’re alright!” Daisuke scrambled back up to his feet. “We were just, uh… Practicing some soccer moves! Ken was teaching me a new trick and I lost my balance. I’m actually pretty clumsy and always falling over and my head’s really hard though, so everything’s fine! Um… How are you?”

He put on his best ‘talking to adults and I’m perfectly innocent’ grin.

Ken hazily blinked up at his mother quietly. Daisuke didn’t like how out of it his friend looked and practically jumped between Ken and his mother in an effort to grab away her attention. He grinned so hard that his face was starting to hurt; he could only hope that he looked far more innocent than he felt. The last thing he needed was to cause any worry with Mrs. Ichijouji.

“Oh… I’m just fine, thank you.” She appeared to be completely caught off guard by Daisuke’s hurried and overly cheerful explanation, but she also appeared to be buying it. Daisuke’s own mother would never have believed any of it for half a second.

The thought that Mrs. Ichijouji just didn’t have any experience with mischievous young boys crossed his mind and Daisuke’s smile faltered. Of course she wouldn’t have the experience. After losing Osamu, who according to Ken was utterly perfect, and then dealing with Ken’s own little disappearing act and problems, how could she be expected to?

Daisuke suddenly felt horrible about lying to her and he moved closer to properly address the overly trusting woman that had Ken’s same kind smile.

“We’ll be more careful, I promise.” I promise I will protect him. I will take care of your son. “Mrs. Ichijouji… Me and some of the others were going to have this big uh… Get together… Camping… Type thing… over the break and we were wondering if maybe Ken could join us. It starts today and we would really love it if he could come. I know its a little last minute but I just found out and uh… Yeah…”

Ken’s Mom looked hesitant for a moment. He knew that she was always reluctant to let Ken out of her sights for long periods of time on such short notice. Daisuke decided to pull out the big guns and gave the poor woman his best puppy dog eyes. “Pleeeeeaaase?”

Her face flushed in a very Ken like manner, adding more guilt to the fact that he was not only lying to the kind woman, but also not telling her that her son could be ‘damaged’ in the whole process.

She seemed to think about it a moment longer before she smiled brightly and clasped her hands together, looking completely pleased. “Oh Daisuke, of course he can!”

Before Daisuke could breathe a sigh of relief, he was suddenly pulled into a gentle hug as she dabbed away tears of happiness.

Daisuke sputtered and awkwardly tried to return the hug. “Uh… Thank you!”

“We’ll stay for lunch but then we need to get going.” Daisuke stiffened as Ken spoke up behind them, sounding level and calm. Which one is it?

“Of course, dear.” She released Daisuke and wiped her eyes. “Oh, I’m a mess. I still just get so happy that he has such wonderful friends like you, Daisuke.” She smiled at Daisuke and for just a moment he saw something knowing in her eyes. It was the same something he had briefly seen in Hikari’s eyes earlier.

She looked like she wanted to hug him again but she simply turned and hurried out the door to prepare lunch.

Daisuke didn’t have time to consider the possible implications behind what had just happened since there was the possibility that there was a lunatic lurking just behind him.

He steeled himself and turned around to face the music.

“Contrary to popular belief, I do know how to behave myself.” Daisuke’s heart felt like it had just dropped down into his stomach. “You forget just how long I’ve worked at this. How many years I pretended to be someone else and just how long I fooled everyone into believing the lie.” Kaiser sounded surprisingly bitter, not a single trace of the usual arrogance or smugness anywhere on his face.

“You certainly didn’t behave yourself in the Digital World. Or earlier, for that matter.” Daisuke crossed his arms and kept a firm glare fixed on the figure that was now moving to scoop up a stunned Wormmon and gently place him on the bed.

“In there, I don’t have to. In there, you are already accepted for what you really are and there’s no point in pretending. As for earlier… Well, it was just too good to resist having you utterly helpless and lying there in my bed next to me. Think of it as a compliment.”

Daisuke swallowed hard and tried to process what he was seeing and hearing. The kindness with the cold so perfectly blended together that it almost seemed natural. “Why are you doing this? Why do you want to hurt him and yourself?”

Kaiser ignored him, refusing to face Daisuke fully, as he lightly stroked a confused Wormmon tenderly. Veemon watched from the floor anxiously and Daisuke couldn’t blame him. It was hard to watch your partner get so close to danger while you were helpless to stop it.

“Did you know that this used to be a bunk bed?” Kaiser’s voice was so soft that Daisuke had to strain to hear him. He took a few steps closer, drawn in as if mesmerized by the normally cold and cruel voice that now sounded so delicate. “A month after the funeral, I came home and it had been converted into what it is now. The other bed had been removed and disposed of without a single trace. All of his clothes had disappeared from the closet and the few personal items that had decorated his desk had been packed away. It was as if he had never existed. As if he had disappeared.”

A memory flared up of Ken telling him something like that once. About how he had wished that his brother would disappear. “You know that isn’t true. It’s not your fault, Ke-… It’s not your fault.”

“I agree with you. It’s not my fault the truck hit him. I realized this a long time ago. I also realized just how easy it was for his existence to be wiped out. To be erased. Even back then it occurred to me that should I disappear today, tomorrow the rest of the bed could be gone, the closet empty, and everything else packed up into a little shoe box. Ken would disappear.”

Daisuke had no idea how to respond to that. How did you reassure someone that they wouldn’t disappear?

Kaiser continued, obviously not expecting Daisuke to respond anyway.

“I wanted to make an impact. To be remembered. To leave a mark. More of a mark than he left.”

“Is that why you… Ahem… Cape and so on?” Another tentative step forward. This was more than Ken had ever told him. It felt sacred… Forbidden.

“Part of it. But I would be naïve to believe it was the whole reason.” Kaiser turned around and leveled Daisuke with a look he had only seen in his dreams. It wasn’t the kind of look that left him hot and sticky, but the kind that left his heart pounding and his arms aching to wrap around that frail frame and protect it forever.

“Who was here first?” Kaiser continued softly. “Can you honestly answer that? Sure, there was that little boy that was kind and gentle and that loved his big brother and wanted nothing more than to be noticed; but that little boy is also the one that wanted his big brother to suffer. To make others suffer for ignoring him. After that fateful trip to the other world, who do you think became the dominant persona? Do you have any idea how many years that was for? How many years of pretending and smiling for the camera while playing nice and catering to all those idiots while all I wanted was just to be accepted for who I was supposed to be and not just the ghost of someone that couldn’t be?”

Another step forward and Daisuke was now in what could be considered the ‘Danger Zone’. The room was so quiet and calm with just the sound of that delicate whisper reaching out to him.

“It wasn’t just the spore. It was never just the spore. You saw those other children. Smart, cruel, uncaring, arrogant… But that wasn’t really them. That was just them living a misguided dream that any child could have of being perfect after following a very bad role model. None of them really wanted to crush something in their fists just to feel it break. None of them wanted to cause so much pain that it validated their existence.” There was the bitterness again. It was creeping into his voice little by little until he took a slow breath and pushed it down again. “And none of them liked it like I did… Liked causing that pain. Hurting something… The rush of the wild chaos and suffering and control and even the lack of control… I needed it. Maybe I still do.”

“But you don’t feel that way anymore. That wasn’t really who you are. You don’t want to hurt anyone anymore. Under all that, you really are just that boy that needed to be noticed…” Daisuke kept his voice a whisper, afraid to break the spell and lose this precious moment forever.  

Kaiser looked at Daisuke thoughtfully for a moment. “You noticed me, didn’t you? You noticed me and you hurt me. You tore me apart inside and I noticed you too.” A small laugh without any humor behind it. “I wanted to crush you. To own you and make you mine so that you would never stop noticing me.”

Another step and Daisuke was well past ‘Danger Zone’ and into ‘Too late to turn back now’ territory.

“Do you honestly think someone can go from feeling all of that to being a sweet kind and caring innocent person overnight? That all of those feelings weren’t real? That I might not still feel that need to hurt someone?”

“I think that…” What did he think? How do you argue with a genius that was normally right? “I don’t think you need to pretend anymore. I still notice you. I couldn’t stop noticing you if I tried. Ken… I-”

“He broke, Daisuke.” Kaiser cut him off, something wild and dangerous lurking just behind his eyes. “Osamu broke. What if I break too? I think I’m already starting to. I think I’m breaking apart and it feels wonderful. Is this what he felt?”

Daisuke slowly reached out and wrapped his arms around the other boy, pulling him closer as his hands ran over the too stiff spine and up into the chaotic locks of inky black hair.

Kaiser’s arms snaked around his waist and fisted into his shirt tightly. Closer still and Kaiser’s face was buried into Daisuke’s hair, their hearts pounding against each other through their tightly pressed chests.

This wasn’t the sexual desire or need that had been so very dominant before. There was nothing sexual in the way Kaiser’s fingers were digging into his shirt and back or the way his face had dipped down to press into the crook of his neck.

This was pure. This was something so raw and intense that it almost scared Daisuke. This was a part of Ken that he’d only seen distant glimpses of. Something that had always been lurking just behind those insecure moments of fear and anger and barely contained tears.

And yet… It was the Kaiser that was sharing it with him. Maybe Daisuke had it all wrong. Maybe this wasn’t just the monster from the past. Maybe…

A sharp intake of breath cut off Daisuke’s thoughts as the small frame sinking into him shuddered. It took a moment before Daisuke realized that the small gasps were laughter. Not the usual Kaiser laughter, but this desperate giggle that edged on the verge of something so dark and foreign that it made Daisuke’s blood run cold.

“He was smiling… Before he broke. I think now I know why he smiled…” Slowly Kaiser’s legs gave out under him and the two boys sank to the floor, Daisuke still supporting the taller boy in his arms fully.

“Ken… It’s alright. Just calm down, okay? We’ll fix this soon. I’ll take care of you. Just relax for now.” Daisuke floundered as he struggled to grasp just what it was that Kaiser was talking about. What ever it was, he was starting to get the feeling that this was a subject that was more dangerous than anything he’d ever dealt with before.

Kaiser didn’t seem to hear Daisuke’s attempts at getting him to calm down as he continued to let out a barely stifled giggle that was quickly turning into shuddering gulps for air.

It was painfully clear that the boy was melting down right there in Daisuke’s arms and there wasn’t anything he could do to help. The thought that Ken was more damaged by the split than even Koushiro could predict crossed his mind and it terrified him.

“Ken doesn’t know.” A strangled gasping giggle painfully wrenched from Kaiser’s throat. A strong hand slid over Daisuke’s chest and gripped the folds of his shirt desperately. “Maybe I should tell him. Denial never did anyone any good… I think it would break him so beautifully. Just like me…”

Daisuke suddenly found himself looking into a deep dark storm that surged just behind those painfully familiar purple eyes.

“Osamu killed himself because of me.” There was no life behind those words.

Daisuke’s eyes widened as the words hit home and the whole picture suddenly came together. Ken had never talked about the accident before. When the subject of his brother came up, he would always shy away and say how perfect his brother had been.

Daisuke had just assumed that it had been some terrible accident. Stepping off the curb too soon with a truck speeding down the street… Now the real picture was painted for him and it was ugly.

“Ken… No. It wasn’t your fault. He didn’t…”

“It was so fast. ‘Wait here Kenny boy. Wait here.’ A smile and then… Bang. Crunch. And then he was free.” Kaiser slowly shook his head then seemed to slowly pull himself back together. It was incredible to watch as his face twisted and strained before it slowly settled back into that perfectly controlled mask. Only his eyes betrayed the storm that lurked just below the surface.

Kaiser got to his feet, steady and calm, and then headed to the door. “Lunch should be ready. I’d rather not keep mother waiting. Shall we?”  

Daisuke sat in a stunned silence on the floor, starring at the now vacant space before him. On the bed, Wormmon was huddled down in the blankets starring after his partner looking just as worried and horrified as Daisuke felt.

Veemon, who was just starting to climb up to join Wormmon on the bed, looked utterly confused. Veemon had stayed quiet, sensing that the moment had been something special, but Daisuke realized that the little digimon probably didn’t understand what it was that Kaiser had just told him.

It occurred to Daisuke that a digimon should rightfully be confused by things like this. They didn’t know of death or suicide.

The fact that Wormmon appeared to have understood on some level only furthered to solidify just how different Ken’s world was to Daisuke’s.

‘Bang. Crunch.’ The quiet and unstable whisper kept echoing in Daisuke’s ears. Just those words were more than enough to horrify him. Was this what woke Ken up at night screaming? Was it because Ken heard more than just the words? Was it because that ‘Bang. Crunch.’ was a sound and a picture that just wouldn’t go away?

Daisuke had always known that Osamu had been hit by a truck and that Ken had been there. Perhaps it had even occurred to him that Ken had seen it happen. Yet he had always envisioned a young Ken to the side as Osamu slipped off a curb or the truck ran a light before it came barreling down until… His imagination had never allowed him to envision the rest.

Suddenly there was an alarming clarity that he wasn’t sure he wanted.

A small fragile Ken, angry at the world for ignoring him and desperate for love, standing with his perfect big brother on a curb.

His big brother leaning down and offering reassuring words that ‘it was all going to be okay’. Osamu watching the traffic with such intense calculation. Smiling. A truck rumbles down the road, the driver maybe not paying enough attention or expecting for that perfect boy to the side to suddenly step out in front of him. And then… ‘Bang. Crunch.’

He flinched as his imagination skipped over an image that, if the only picture he’d ever seen of Osamu had been any indication, looked alarmingly like his own Ken getting hit by a truck and apparently ‘crunching’.

Then there was the young fragile Ken, only a few feet away…

Daisuke felt sick. He’d never gotten along with his own sister Jun, and he had often entertained the notion that if he had been an only child his life would have been so much nicer and quieter… But he could never imagine what it would be like to see her ‘crunching.’

Slowly, Daisuke got to his feet and followed after Kaiser out to the main room.

‘Ken doesn’t know.’ Was that true? Ken always said he couldn’t remember and no one had ever pushed it any further than that. Was it possible that Ken really couldn’t remember or did he choose to simply not know? Kaiser apparently remembered it differently than Ken.

A suicide.

Ken had always blamed himself over his brother’s death for simply wishing that his brother would disappear. What would happen if Ken found out that it wasn’t just an accident? Would Kaiser set such a cruel trap for Ken?

Daisuke sat at the table across from Kaiser, a firm look on his face. Both boys smiled politely as Mrs. Ichijoiji set plates of food down before them. Kaiser’s well practiced public smile was all too smooth for Daisuke’s liking.

Daisuke looked up at the hopeful and caring woman and his heart sank. Did she know? Had she suspected what her own son had done? Or had Osamu been as good at pretending as Ken had become?

It made Daisuke’s stomach twist to watch the way Kaiser seemed to perform for her. His smile looked so genuinely warm, his voice so polite and careful, and the way she accepted it all so eagerly...

Once she was satisfied that they had all they needed, she smiled and headed back into the kitchen.

Daisuke watched as Kaiser took a delicate bite of the offered food, the fake smile still plastered on his face.

“You can’t tell him.” Daisuke hissed across the table at him and shoved a large piece of food into his mouth.

“How do you know I haven’t already?” Kaiser tapped his temple lightly and took another small bite.

Daisuke sighed. “Because you’d want to see his reaction.”

Kaiser smirked and nodded. “How true. You know me well.”

“You never answered my question. Why are you doing this? You’re the same person. You’ll be hurting yourself. Why can’t you just be one person? Why can’t you just be Ken?”

“You are so deliciously naïve sometimes.” Kaiser paused and took a long drink. “It was you. It’s always been you.”

“What are you talking about?” Daisuke grumbled around a mouthful of food while he struggled not to choke on it.

“Please swallow your food before you speak. If you’re going to choke, I’d rather it be because of something more dignified or erotic than an undercooked dumpling.”

Daisuke glared and took a long gulp of water.

Kaiser looked down at his own plate with a contemplating look. “I can’t let this go on any longer. His denial over what he was, what he’s always been, and what he needs… The fact that while he is Ken, he is also me and will always be me. His struggles through school and with his family. His self-inflicted punishment. Then of course there’s Osamu. His denial over what he did when he…” Kaiser’s voice cracked slightly. “Well, now you know. I can’t let his denial ruin this life that I have built. This life that he has taken and failed at. And then there’s you. Always you, Motomiya.”

“What about me? What did I do?” He felt like he was trying to follow a conversation that he wasn’t fully a part of. Then again, maybe he wasn’t.

“You noticed me, noticed us, and you loved us, didn’t you? You have always loved both of us.” Daisuke swallowed too hard and choked slightly as the Kaiser leaned across the table slightly and whispered loudly. “Even back then. Did you dream about us? About me? Did you wake up at night after tossing and turning and dreaming about what wonderful things I could do to you with that whip?”

Daisuke’s face was flushing brightly again and he wondered if it was possible to die from blushing too much.

“I thought so.” A small triumphant smile. “You already know how I feel about you. How I want to make all those dirty little dreams come true. The only problem is Ken…” The smile disappeared and he shook his head slightly as a faint distracted look crept into his eyes. “Everyone he loves disappears. Suffers because of him.”

‘Bang. Crunch.’ Daisuke shuddered slightly at the far off look Kaiser was suddenly giving him.

A thought occurred to him and he looked down, afraid to meet those probing eyes. “Then he doesn’t…?”

“Don’t ask stupid questions. Of course he does. How could he not? It terrifies him more than anything else. With a track record like his…” Kaiser paused, his lips thin and twisted up slightly at the corners in what could almost have been a smile. “He refuses to accept it but he desires it so desperately. It may not have caused the split, but it certainly didn’t help. Now that we’re split, he’s using it as an escape. It’s a wonderful defense that his psyche has perfected over the years. It just refuses to accept what he can’t handle but he can’t keep this up for much longer. The walls are crumbling and there won’t be much left of him soon. Gennai was right, even if he is infuriating. We can’t stay split forever. Eventually one of us will disappear. I aim to do my best to make sure that it won’t be me.”

Daisuke slammed his hand down on the table angrily. “I won’t let that happen.”

“Oh really? And how do you intend to stop me?”

“I don’t know but I will find a way! You… You can’t be two and you can’t be just one or the other. I know this! You are Ken Ichijouji and like it or not, you are both the same person. You both need to learn to accept it!” He was nearly yelling now and he hoped that Mrs. Ichijouji wasn’t listening.

Kaiser starred at him in surprise. The confusion was back in his eyes and Daisuke had a sudden understanding of just what it was he was seeing.

“…Ken?”

Kaiser shook his head slightly and gripped the edge of the table tightly. “Stop it… Stop it…” It was an angry hiss filled with malice that wasn’t entirely addressed to Daisuke.

“Ken.” Daisuke stood up and quickly moved to go to his friend’s side.

“Don’t.” Kaiser looked up at him sharply, stopping him from getting closer. “Don’t… I’m not ready.” His face twisted as he slowly regained his composure and breathed deeply.

Daisuke sighed in frustration. “I wish you wouldn’t do that.”

Jealousy flashed across Kaiser’s face and he stood up, his eyes locking on Daisuke with deadly intensity. “Why? Do you want him? Do you wish he was out here sobbing into your arms like the weak pathetic thing that he is? Do you love him more? He can’t give you what I can. I want you and I will have you.”

Kaiser suddenly moved up to him like a predator, standing tall and looking down at him angrily. Daisuke stood his ground and looked up into his eyes fully.

“Ken.” Daisuke said firmly and stubbornly. “You are a part of Ken and I care for and love all of you the same. Even if you are arrogant, childish, sadistic, or just aggravating. I love Ken. I love you.” He was pleased by the surprised look on Kaiser’s face despite the surprise he felt at his own sudden statement.

He loved Ken and he loved Kaiser. Kaiser… Ken… They were the same boy. The same vulnerable boy that had curled into his arms just a few moments ago and bared his soul for him and only him…

Kaiser smiled and suddenly grabbed Daisuke, pulling him in and kissing him hard.

A part of him wished that just for once, Ken would be the one to give him a gentle shy kiss like the ones from his dreams… But another part was relishing in the thrill of the hot passion Kaiser seemed to have no problem demonstrating. It was probably this second part that was now returning the kiss and pushing Kaiser back into the table. He refused to let Kaiser dominate him like this and he had a sudden wild urge to let Kaiser know that he could give as good as he got.

There was a brief struggle as both boys fought to dominate, hands exploring over curves and fingers seeking out bare skin. Daisuke gained the upper hand as he found a vulnerable spot on Kaiser’s lower back that made him let out a moan that was sure to be a regular feature in his nightly dreams for at least a month.

Passion was quickly replaced by panic as Mrs. Ichijouji’s voice suddenly called out to them from the kitchen. “Did you boys get enough to eat?”

Kaiser released him and licked his lips slowly with a purr. Daisuke breathed out deeply and shivered as he pulled away, frantically adjusting his shirt and curiously feeling the fresh claw marks that were now raked across his sides and hips.

He barely managed to muster a garbled ‘zuh’ sound in response as he struggled to compose himself. Thankfully, Kaiser was a master at composure.

“Yes, thank you. Would you please pack up the leftovers for us? I would like to bring them along for my friends as a snack later.” Kaiser’s voice was smooth, cool, deceptively innocent and utterly in control.

Daisuke suddenly felt like he’d just stolen something and been caught red handed. He swallowed hard as Kaiser smirked and slowly smoothed his clothes back out.

In the kitchen he could hear Mrs. Ichijouji happily going on about how all of Ken’s friends would share the food she had lovingly prepared for them. If only she knew.

“We should go pack.” Kaiser walked past Daisuke and headed back to his bedroom, stopping just before going inside to give him a look that said far too much. Smug, knowing, and arrogant all topped with something that made Daisuke feel completely guilty.

Oh god.

It suddenly occurred to him that he had volunteered to spend time alone babysitting Ken and Kaiser. There was a good chance that he would have several moments of being all alone with him… Most likely sleeping in the same room just so he could keep an eye on both of them at the same time… Even the possibility of sleeping in the same bed…

Daisuke felt panic surge up in him at that thought. If Kaiser was not only going to cause trouble for Ken but also continue his little game of ‘let’s play with Daisuke’s hormones’, he was about to have a very difficult vacation.

The guilt was suddenly back full force. What will Ken think? He had kissed the Kaiser without Ken’s consent. Ken was still so unsure of himself when it came to these emotions and Kaiser was more than likely to use it as a weapon to hurt Ken.

After what felt like ages later, the two had said their emotional goodbye to Mrs. Ichijouji and made their way down the street carrying two overnight sacks with two very tired digimon buried in them with a large supply of food and cookies.

Packing had been awkward and filled with more than a few awkward moments of Daisuke blushing and averting his gaze. It had been decided that they couldn’t just disappear from Ken’s bedroom without causing any suspicion so they now walked in silence as they headed towards Ken’s school.

Despite the vacation, the computer room was still open to allow for students to continue to study and work on assignments if they didn’t have easy access to technology. Kaiser had decided that this was the closest and easiest way for them to reach the Digital World and Daisuke had reluctantly agreed.

Daisuke couldn’t help but feel awkward and guilty over that stolen kiss. Every now and then he’d glance at Kaiser who looked like he was hardly affected at all by it. Knowing him, he probably wasn’t. He’s probably scheming on how to use it against us later.

Daisuke suddenly decided he couldn’t keep quiet about it anymore. “I want to talk to Ken before we go.”

Kaiser stopped so suddenly that Daisuke nearly plowed right into him. The look on his face was anything but pleased.

“Do you think it’s a switch? That I can just turn on and off like that? It doesn’t work that way, Motomiya.” The return of the use of his last name meant that he was already walking a thin line.

“I don’t care. I think I should talk to Ken alone before you two split up. Just in case something happens. I… I need to know he’s okay.”

“He’s fine. You can talk to him once we’re split.” It was a clipped response without an ounce of patience to it.

“No. I want to talk to him out here. I… I need to just make sure!”

Kaiser pushed past Daisuke and marched ahead angrily. “That’s too bad then, isn’t it?”

“Ken!” Daisuke growled and ran after him. “Ken, wait! That’s not fair! I need to talk to him!”

Kaiser stopped again and pulled himself up to his full height, planting his feet in a familiar posture that told Daisuke that he was prepared for a fight. Daisuke did the same, balling his fists up as he prepared to meet him head on. He would not back down. Not from this.

“Hey, Daisuke!” A loud familiar voice called out from behind them. “I was starting to think you two would never come!”

“Takeru?!” Daisuke briefly forgot about the pending fight and stared at the cheerful boy amazement. “What are you doing here?”

Kaiser’s eyes flickered and an emotion that almost looked like fear washed over him. “Takaishi…”

Daisuke glanced up in time to watch his partner stumble and sway.

Takeru and Daisuke dove forward in time to catch him just before he took what could have been a very unpleasant trip to the ground for him and Wormmon.

Daisuke felt his heart jolt in his chest as light purple eyes met his own. “Ken?”

“Daisuke? What’s going on?”

Takeru looked from Ken to Daisuke curiously. “… Let me guess. I missed the fun?”





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Disclaimer: According to Wikipedia: Akiyoshi Hongo was the creator of the Digimon concept. Bandai, Saban Entertainment and various other entities that are not me own Digimon. I am in no way making money off of this and am strictly using the characters and world for my own fan based fiction.

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