Digimon Fan Fiction ❯ First Crush ❯ To Be Pretty ( Chapter 3 )

First Crush

Ch 3

To Be Pretty

I do not own Digimon

Suzie continued home feeling sick in her stomach and in her heart. How could Chip be so thoughtless? She had now idea he was interested in someone else. Sure, it was known that a lot of girls had the hots for him. But she loved him more then they did, didn't she? Suzie bit her lip, remembering her harsh remark at Jeri. She shouldn't have done that. Jeri was just trying to cheer her up. But there was so much anger in Suzie at that moment, still in her now, that she just had to unload on someone. When she felt better, if she ever would that is, Suzie will try to apologize to her. Maybe there was something Jeri could do. Jeri had a younger half brother and maybe--

'No,' Suzie shook her head as she shook the thought away. She wanted nothing to do with boys right now. They were probably all the same anyway. They were interested in the same thing. They didn't care how sweet or nice or funny or smart a girl could be. All what really mattered to guys were the size of a girl's breasts. Suzie was reminded again of Chip flirting with Millie and her stomach churned, even if it was empty. She tried to push the thought away.

When she reached home, Suzie didn't bother to tell her mother how her day at school went. Her mother looked on in surprise, thinking she might just have a lot of homework to do. Suzie closed the door behind her, dropped her backpack in the corner and walked to the mirror to see her reflection.

Suzie was a petite, trim, perky and cute girl. She's always been. But right now, Suzie didn't see herself that way, compared to how gorgeous and sexy Mille was. Suzie believed she was flat-chested, a bit on the heavy side and her hair had almost no body. Suzie leaned forward and found a pimple on her forehead.

'Great,' she thought, 'I already have a pimple! I'm so ugly!'

Lopmon looked up at Suzie and cocked her head. "What's the matter, Suzie?" she asked.

"I'm ugly!" Suzie sniffed retorted. She fell onto her bed and began to sob into her forearms. "I'll never be pretty enough! I'm…a pathetic and ugly loser!"

"You are not," Lopmon said.

"I am too!" Suzie muttered and continued to sob. "You don't understand, Lopmon, you never had a crush on someone!"

"Well, no I haven't. But I'm sure once you get this out of your system you'll be better."

"No I won't," Suzie insisted, "I'll never get over this! I really liked Chip and before he could even give me a chance he went to some big-breasted cheerleader! What does he see in her? She's everything I'm not! It's not fair! I want to be pretty!"

Suzie's mother heard the commotion coming from Suzie's room and went to check on her. She knocked on the door softly and opened the door a bit. "Suzie, what's the matter?"

"Nuttin'!" Suzie exclaimed, jerking her head up. "I'm fine!"

"But you're upset, honey." She insisted, "What is it?"

"I don't want to talk about it, okay?" Suzie demanded. "Just go away and leave me alone!"

Her mother bit her lip and closed the door. Suzie dropped her face back down to her pillow and wailed loudly. Lopmon frowned and patted her partner on her head.

"It'll be all right, Suzie," Lopmon said, trying to console her. "You'll realize you're better off without this…this Chip!"

"I'm not just upset about Chip!" Suzie said. "It's all guys. I'll never meet one that will treat me right. I'll just get my heart broken."

"Oh, Suzie, not all boys can be as bad as this Chip is," Lopmon said. "Think about your brother's friends. The other tamers, Takato, Kenta, Kazu, Ryo…they're nice boys."

"They'd only like me because Henry's my brother," Suzie said. "It's hopeless, Lopmon. I'd just have to become like Millie to get a guy."

"What?"

"I'll change everything about me," Suzie sniffed, wiping her eyes. "I saw Millie. She's much prettier than I am."

"You shouldn't do this right away. Give yourself some time."

"You're probably right," Suzie sighed. "I'm not exactly sure how to do it. Maybe Millie was just born the way she is. Miss Perfect!" She got off her bed and looked at herself in the mirror. "I'm tired of being Sara Plain & Tall."

"But you're not that tall, Suzie," Lopmon said, "you're just 4'9".

"Well, plain and short then." She frowned. "And Mille was taller than me too. She's probably a model. Well, it ends now!"

"Suzie what are you talking about?" Henry asked, opening the door. He just got back from school. "Hey, mom said that you were--"

"Go away, Henry!" she snapped at her brother. "I don't want to talk to you!"

"Why not?"

"Because you're one of them!"

"Huh?"

"Just go away!" she pushed him out of her room and groaned.

Henry looked at the door that his sister just slammed in his face. "I'm one of what?" he asked himself as he walked to his room, where Terriermon was waiting.

"Is it just me, or did I hear Suzie yell?"

"You're not hearing things, Terriermon," Henry said. "Suzie's obviously unhappy about something."

"That's not like her," Terriermon said.

"Hopefully she'll get it out of her system, whatever it is."

When the rest of the family came and dinner was ready, Suzie wouldn't come out of her room.

"It's your favorite," her mom said at the door. "Won't you please come and eat with us?"

"I'm not hungry," Suzie insisted.

"Please, come out of there, honey."
Suzie groaned and opened the door. "Fine, but I already told you, I'm not hungry." She went to her empty seat and sat down, tapping her fork on her plate. She was a bit hungry, even though her stomach was still a little upset. She didn't have any lunch and her stomach wanted food. But she still felt angry and didn't want to eat. She insisted that she had no appetite. It was her favorite and her family was all eating and talking about themselves.

"What's wrong, Suzie?" Henry asked. "Are you sure you're not hungry?"

"It's nothing." She mumbled.

"At least have a little." Her dad prompted.

"My stomach hurts."

"That's probably because you're hungry."

"I'm not."

"Did something upset you at school?" her mother inquired.

"I don't feel much like talking."

"You really gotta try this," her older sister said and put a spoonful of casserole on her plate.

"Hey!" Suzie muttered.

"It's just a spoonful, Suzie."

Suzie looked at it. Her stomach rumbled. She was hungry but didn't want to admit it. She believed she was over weight. Suzie picked up her fork and took a bite. If she didn't eat all the time, at least at dinner, her parents would ask even more questions. Suzie just wanted to starve herself until she got thin. There had to be another way. After eating the spoonful on her plate, half of her wanted more and she almost grabbed the large wooden spoon. She stopped herself before she did.

"Thanks," she said, standing up, "but I'm really tired."

"Don't you want desert?" her mother asked.

Suzie dead stopped. She had a huge sweet tooth. Part of her wanted to run back and eat the entire desert. "No thanks." She shut the door behind her, changed into her PJ's and hopped into bed. She was dreading going into school the next day. She'll see Chip with Mille again and wasn't very excited about it.

****

The alarm went off and Suzie hit her snooze button. She lay there to catch a few more Z's. Sleep was not easy for her. She tried to sleep five more minutes then her mother knocked on the door.

"You'll be late for school, Suzie," she called. "I have breakfast for you."

Suzie moaned and pushed herself. As she was getting dressed, the rich aroma of pancakes and syrup reached her noise and made her mouth water. Before she could stop herself, Suzie walked out of her room and sat down at the counter where a plate with one pancake was waiting for her. Suzie buttered it and poured syrup all over it. She didn't bother to cut with her knife, but with her fork and she put long portions of pancake in her mouth, drizzled with syrup.

"Got your appetite back, haven't you?" her mom asked with a slight chuckle.

"Mmm-hmm," Suzie mumbled with her mouth filled with pancake. She finished her pancake in less than ten seconds and asked for another one. She drained her glass of milk and dabbed her napkin. Her stomach wasn't too content with just two pancakes, but she had already eaten too much. If she were going to look anything like Millie, she'd have to lose about twenty pounds. Not to mention change her whole wardrobe, give herself head-to-toe makeover and learn to talk like Millie too. That would be very hard because they were complete opposites. No doubt Millie was a complete airhead stuck up snob and Suzie was a very sweet, smart and shy girl. Suzie brushed her teeth and headed for school.

When she walked inside, she saw something she really did not want to see--Chip and Millie making out in the hall. Suzie stood in shock and she wanted to scream or cry.

"Hi Suzie," Ai said, walking over to her, "what's up?"

Suzie did not respond but her eyes were still fixed on Millie and Chip. Ai looked at them and back at Suzie.

"I wonder how long it'll take for them to lose their breath," Ai joked, "I can see Millie's shirt through her bra. Someone's got to tell her that look is out! Ha-ha-ha!"

Suzie put her hand over her mouth. The sight of Chip being all over Millie was intoxicating and Ai's jokes weren't helping.

"Hey, Suzie, are you okay?" Ai asked, getting over the giggles.

Suzie ran past her to the nearest restroom, pushed open the first stall door not in use and threw up. Ai followed her but kept a few distance from her stall.

"I had to ask," Ai said. "Maybe you should go to the nurse."

"That's not it…" Suzie groaned after she retched and spat a few times to get the vomit taste of her mouth. She flushed the toilet and stumbled out of the stall. "It's Chip and Millie…I used to have a crush on Chip! It makes me sick to see them."

"No kidding," Ai said. "They really do need to get a room before they make everyone sick."

"Ai, please. I was going to tell Chip I liked him and that's when I say him with that--that slut!"

"Sorry," Ai said. "But he really is a jerk. I thought everyone knew that."

"Well, I know that now," Suzie mumbled. "Boys are pigs! All boys are!" Tears fell down her cheeks.

"Hey, I'm sure there's some nice guys out there.'

"Oh yeah, name one?"
"Well, Takato's a very nice guy. Kenta. My brother Mako."

"You're his sister, you're supposed to say that."

"Okay, maybe. Oh, and there's Kazu. He's not just a nice guy, he's a nice cool guy too!"

Suzie rolled her eyes, "oh, give me a break."

"Give it some time, Suzie," Ai said. "You'll get over it."

"No I won't. I'll never live this one down. You never had your heart broken before."

"Well, maybe not like you have," Ai said. "I don't crush on every cute guy I see." She took her arm. "Come on, the bell is about to ring."

Suzie wiped her eyes and walked out of the bathroom with Ai. Her stomach felt a little bit better as if all of the bad feelings she had went down the toilet with what little was in her stomach. They heard shocked cries from girls and guys saying, "whoa!" Girls scattered and Ai looked up to see what the commotion was.

"What's going on?" She wondered out loud and heard a familiar voice.

"I'm lookin' Ai, have ya seen 'er?" a little purple digimon with a red bandana around his neck carrying a spiral notebook said was he walked down the hall.

"IMPMON!" she shouted in surprise and knelt down in front of him. "What are you doing here?"

"You forgot this," he said, handing her the notebook.

"My math homework!" she gasped. "Oh, Impmon, you're such a nice guy!" she glanced at Suzie, who looked away.

"Ah, shucks," Impmon mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck. "I-it was nothing, Ai."
"Thanks. I'll see you today after school."

"Have a good time," he said, "and if anyone gives you trouble just let me know and it'll be BADA BOOM for them!"

Ai laughed and Impmon left before someone fainted. She got up and looked at Suzie, "see Suzie, there are such things as nice guys! You just saw one leave right now!"

"He wasn't nice when he killed Leomon and was trying to hurt everyone when we were in the Digiworld, was he?" she demanded.

"That was a mistake," Ai defended, "we all mistakes. Besides, I'm whom you should blame, not Impmon. If Mako and I weren't fighting all the time, Impmon would never have left. I didn't think he'd ever come back."

When lunch rolled around, Suzie was mighty hungry and knew of a way to lose weight without having to starve herself. It was a little harsh, but it was better than being a blimp feeling sorry for herself. She filled her plate with a burger and fries with all the fixings a fruit cup and a brownie and milk. Ai sat down next to her with a green salad and as she was putting the dressing on her salad, Suzie was biting into her burger like a shark.

"Hungry?" Ai commented.

Suzie ate her burger in just a few bites and she moved onto her fries. Ai looked at her in surprise as she watched her best friend purge herself like she hadn't eaten in days. A piece of lettuce fell from her fork into her lap and she didn't even notice. She was putting whole fries in her mouth, sometimes three at a time. She used eat one fry at a time, bite after bite as she gossiped with Ai and her other friends. She wasn't making time to talk. She was eating too much and too fast.

"Whoa, slow down, Suzie!" Ai exclaimed. "Lunch is a half hour long, not five minutes!"

"There were some things…I wanted to do." She said between bites and put two more whole fries in her mouth. She finished her whole lunch in a matter of no time, let out a belch and she wiped her mouth with her hand. "See ya later, Ai."

"Hey, where're you goin'?" Ai asked, "I thought we were--" but before she could get another word in, Suzie tossed empty plate and milk carton in the garbage and put her tray on the window to be cleaned and left the cafeteria to the restroom. Suzie was very nervous. She never expected to be one of the girls that would become bulimic. Suzie used to be so carefree. Making herself purge was downright nuts. But it wasn't just a way for her to become thin. It was a solution to all her problems. With the lunch she had in her stomach, she'd throw up her bad feelings and aches. She wanted to be empty and feel nothing at all, rather than feel like a total loser. It was so strange how people felt better after they've thrown up.

'I can do this,' Suzie thought. 'I've got to.' She opened her mouth, stuck her finger inside as far as it could go and her stomach churned, bringing the contents of inside up her esophagus and out of her mouth, into the toilet, with all her sad feelings. It wasn't bulimia. It wasn't "scarf and barf" it was a solution--a solution to becoming thin. Becoming perfect.

TBC