Digimon Fan Fiction ❯ Losing Myself ❯ Losing Myself:Part Two:Losing Friendship ( Chapter 2 )

Losing Myself

Part 2: Losing Friendship

By ladybird2223

a/n: ok sorry I took so long on posting the next part of this story, I've just been so busy this summer. Well for those of you who are still interested, here is the second part of L.M. For those of whom didn't read the first chapter. It isn't totally necessary but it does help to understand this chapter better. Don't forget that each chapter is in a different P.O.V.

Well on with the show.

He had to go and do it didn't he. He could have had a great life. But no. He had to go and kill himself.

I knew he hadn't been the same since the Kari incident but now I've lost something also. I've lost Hope.

He had lost Hope that night he lost her. Surprising as he was the keeper of Hope. It was even worse being that he had been forced to watch Kari get beaten and raped. When she died, that's when he died. Not now. He told me he had planned on doing it. I didn't listen.

I know I should have known better. He had never been one to lie unless he had to. I saw myself his shimmer of hope disappear when he couldn't find Kari's pulse.

He blamed himself for her death. I was the only one he told this to. I was the only one he talked to, not even the other Chosen. He was scared of talking to the councilors mom sent him to so he talked to me instead.

He always said that if he hadn't stopped in the park to ask her to marry him (yes he told me about that even though I was shocked when I heard it), it never would have happened.

I could have done more for him. I should have done more. I am. I mean I was his big brother. His onii-san. I should have protected him. What am I saying? I couldn't have known this was gonna happen. If I hadn't been coming home from a band practice that had run extremely late a lot more would have happened to the two. I am sure of this.

Today is his funeral. I really hope he is happy wherever he may be now. I really do.

FLASHBACK TO A WEEK AGO

Matt Ishida was in the shower getting ready for practice with his band, the Teenage Wolves, when he heard the phone ringing.

"Damn it! Figures just when the water get's perfect, the phone rings."

As he got out and toweled off walking into the living room to answer the phone not caring that he wasn't even dressed besides a towel that was slowly slipping off from around his waist."Not like anybody's gonna look through the window of a 30th story apartment. And Mimi isn't home right now, like she would mind. It's probably Dad check'n up on me. Why can't he accept that I moved out?"

"Moshe Moshe, Ishida Yamato speaking."

"Matt! Good thing you're home. I wasn't sure if you'd left for rehearsal yet."

"Cody?!? What are you calling me for? Something up?"

"Just cancel practice with your band and get to your mom's apartment ASAP."

"Man. Slow down."Cody sure has become more energetic and less serious since he got older but this sounds like a cross between the old and the new Cody."Why do I have to go over across the city? Who's all gonna be there?"

"Umm...It's an emergency. Just get here quick. Oh um. Tai, Sora, Yoeli's here already with me, Izzy, Joe is here already since he's a doctor."

"What do you mean since he's a doctor?"

Cody continued on ignoring Matt's question."Mimi, Davis, and Ken"

"You had to get Meems off of work for this...Wait a minute, what about T.K.? It is his apartment."

"..."Silence.

"Cody?"

"Just get here quick. Trust me."

"Ok, see ya in a few. Bye."

"Uh huh."CLICK

"What was that about?" Matt wondered out loud to himself as he dialed up his band.

On Matt's motorcycle

"I wonder what's going on if it is big enough for Meems to get called from her summer job and me to cancel practice. Oh well I'll as T.K. when I get there."

At the Takaishi apartment

"Ok, I'm here. What's wrong?"

All everybody could do was point.

"Oh my god." Matt whispered.

"Matt, I'm sorry."Tai said hugging him.

"Come hear and read the notes he left us. We didn't read the one." Sora said trying to control her tears.

"Why not? "

"It was left for you."

"Oh."

"T.K. was also holding this. Do you know anything about it?" Joe was holding a little black box." It was locked shut. Do you know why?"

"The ring." Matt whispered to himself in shock. Nobody else had known about the ring or where the key was to the box but Matt and T.K. himself.

"Ring? What about a ring?" Izzy asked.

"It was for Kari that night. T.K. was planning on asking her to marry him."

"AN ENGAGEMENT RING!?!?" Tai yelled forgetting himself. "No wonder the poor guy took it so hard."

"Yea, I know where the key is but first let me read those notes."

Mimi handed them to him crying."Hunny, everything's gonna be all right, ok Matt."

"Yea, sure, come here. I need to sit down."

"Yamato? "

"Hey mom. I can't believe this happened."He couldn't keep from crying and dropped down on his knees. He felt someone come from behind and put their hands on his shoulders.

"Matt man, don't lose yourself too. We've made it through Kari's death and I'll help you get through T.K.'s"

"It just doesn't seem right. How could we loose Hope? Losing Light was bad enough for us all but now we, I've lost Hope. Next it'll be Mimi."

"Don't worry Matt. You won't lose me." Mimi said kissing his forehead.

"You don't know that."Matt said still crying. "T.K. didn't know we'd lose Kari. We didn't know we woud I lose T.K. We don't know when any of us will be the next ones."

"Matt, calm down." Joe shouted which shocked everyone.

He grabbed the notes and read them. The one for him just made him worse. "It's not my fault he says. Yea right. I could have stopped him. I could have done more."

Everybody went silent as Matt walked to T.K.'s room grabbing a picture frame with a picture of T.K. and Kari laughing and kissing at the same time with Matt and Tai in the background making strangling motions at the others sibling laughing about it. He took the picture out of the frame and taped to the cardboard backing was a key. He took it off and handed it and the box to Tai.

"Here's the key to the box. You should have it. It was meant for your sister...I. I have to go." With that he left.

End Flashback

Now I think I know how Takeru felt when Kari was killed. It's like you lose a part of yourself that you'll never get back. I don't think I am going to go drastic and commit suicide like he did.

I don't think so anyways. No I couldn't do that to Mimi.

One good thing came out of it. Dad doesn't treat me like his maid anymore.

I think T.K.'s Death made him realize that I am his son. His only one now. Kind of sad if you think about it. It took death to be treated like the man that I am.

FUCK! I'd rather be treated like his servant and have my lil bro back than how it is now. But that isn't gonna happen now is it.

I see the funeral home up ahead. It just reminds me I'm not onii-san anymore.

I turn to Mimi, who I've been married to since about a week before Kari's death."Meems, I promised myself I wouldn't cry but look at mom over there by herself at the door. And I can almost bet that those stupid reporters are here.

I mean what better headlines then "World Famous Lead Singer of the band Teenage Wolves, Yamato Ishida at funeral of brother who committed suicide at the age of 17."

"UM I think it would have to be a lil shorter to be on the front page but I get the idea. And it's ok to cry Hun. It's perfectly natural." Mimi said comfortingly. " I can't help you about reporters being here though because here they come."

"Fuck." I say. "Ok, let's just run for the door and shut them out."

"Probably won't work. More than likely there are some inside."

"You're helpful." I say sarcastically.

"Just being' sincere." She says putting a hand over her heart."That's what I'm supposed to do according to Genaii."

"Well here they are." We both whispered.

"Mr. Ishida, Yamato, How do you feel about your infamous brother's death?"

"Matt! Are you going to put off you world tour because of this?"

"Mrs. Ishida, how well did you know the late Mr. Takaishi, your brother-in-law?"

Etc.

Etc.

Etc.

The questions just keep coming while we walk to the door. I can't take it anymore."Will you leave my wife and me the fuck alone? Damn it, don't you have any respect?"

"Honey?!"

"I'm sorry but leave us alone. This has been a very hared week and I'd rather not have any reporters here."

"So does that mean you won't even answer one question?"

"NO!" Oh how I love it that my wife thinks like I do.

"They're all going for once. This is shocking."

"With my luck they are probably regrouping." I try this jokingly but I can tell I didn't.

We finally make it to where Mom is standing watching the people come in.

"Hey mom, how are you holding up? And why are the police here?"

"OH Yamato! You're here. Wait a minute, you didn't know?"

"Know what Ms. Takaishi?" Mimi asks.

"Yea mom, what?"

"Oh god, well as if things aren't bad enough. There have been calls and letters to your father and I about someone going to try to kill YOU today." Mom starts crying as she says this.

"Oh god, well are the rest of the Chosen here yet?"

"Almost Mimi, the Kamiya's, including Sora is here, Mrs. Takenouchi is here, Izzy, Ken and Yoeli, and Cody. We are waiting on Davis and Joe. Make that Davis."

"Hey Matt, Ms. Takaishi, Mimi, sorry I was late. I was running behind with a patient."

"That's ok Joe. Just glad you could be here. Go on inside."

"Joe all the Chosen are in the front along with Matt's father and I."

"Ok, thank you madam."

"No need to be so formal Joe." Mimi says.

"Oh yea."

"Hey there's Davis." I say.

"Hi Matt, Mimi, Takaishi-san, Joe. Sorry I'm late but Yokimi came over and I had to get rid of her.

"Same old Davis even after all this time." Joe says.

"Yea but we better get inside right mom?"

"Yamato, I want you to be careful. I know they are probably just rumors but with you being you and all I wouldn't risk it." Ms. Takaishi says while taking her seat.

I look around trying to recognize each person but fail miserably.

"Matt, how many of these people do you actually know?" Tai asks coming up to Mimi and me. "People are fighting to get a seat."

"Around half best bet. Everyone else sat down including our wives so maybe we should to."

"Yea, good idea. This must be hard for you."

" It is but if you could make it after Kari's death, I'll be fine with Takeru's."

"Guys sit down. It's about to start."

"We're coming, Ken." Tai says.

I feel tears forming in my eyes and I can tell Mimi notices them.

"Hun, I told you. It's all right and perfectly normal to cry at a funeral. Especially your own brother's."

"I know but...." I can't hold it back anymore and silently tears start falling as Takeru's casket is opened for viewing. From where I am sitting I can see his still, lifeless body. It's almost too much for me. Correction, it is too much for me.

I hear the priest, but I don't hear him. I don't think that I can go up there anymore.

Too late."...And now the brother of the deceased, Yamato Ishida." I hear cries from "fans". One of them probably Jun. So I know now this was an open house funeral.

Damn you dad, you arranged an open house so complete STRANGERS could come in just to see ME. Not to mourn the soul of my brother. Damn you.

"Hunny, it's time for you to go up." Mimi says.

"We're all here for you Yama." Sora whispers giving me a gentle shove up.

"Well I guess I better get up there then." I hear myself mumble to them.

"Ok, first off I would like to thank you all for showing up to pay you respects to my brother. I know he would be glad to know so many people came.

It's hard to imagine this child of Hope leaving this world at so young an age but sadly were not imagining it. He is. I know that T.K. wasn't the same after Hikari-chan died. He of all people had lost hope.

Like Takeru said, we will have Faith again. We MUST have Faith again.

My little brother wouldn't have it any other way.

Takeru I know you can hear me up there in heaven among the angels. I love you and we will all miss you."

I notice now that I have finished my speech that I have been crying the whole time. I don't care anymore about crying in front of everyone. T.K. deserves my tears.

As I sit down again with all the remaining Digidestend. I just now realize something very important.

"Mimi, I know now that it was not my fault this happened. It wasn't something that could be stopped but that doesn't make me feel any better about this."

"Matt, you'll heal in time. We all will."

"Matt, it's our turn to go up to the casket. Is it still ok that he is buried next to Kari?"Tai asks.

"Yea, you guys go on up. I want to be the last one."

They look at me but agree without any argument.

The line slowly moves as each person pays his or her last respects to Takeru.

As I come up, I pull out Takeru's crest. We had started a tradition at Kari's funeral that the closest living Chosen Child would lay the dead Digidestend's crest on them to be buried alongside the owner.

For Kari, that was Tai and T.K. both. For T.K. it is I.

As I look at the chain I notice something. The crest has changed. It looks like the design on the ring. Hope and Light combined.

I know looking at it what it is though. It is the crest of Faith."Guys, look at this before I put it in its place." I say to them.

"What is it?" Izzy asks.

"T.K. and Kari's crests merged into the crest of Faith."

"You know, I bet Kari's crest is doing the same thing."Tai says.

"Yea, well good bye lil' bro. I have hope again. Enjoy being up there in Heaven."

All of a sudden I hear a boom.

"Matt, get down." Someone yells. I'm not sure whom though.

So it was true about the assassin. It is too late though and I am still holding onto Takeru's crest, as it is growing black on me.

Matt could hear people yelling but he was only drawn to a brilliant white light.

Up ahead he sees the angels of Hope and Light.

Between the two was an angel that was younger than T.K. and Kari. He knew in his heart that it was the destined one of Faith.

Now God had one more loyal angel with him.

Friendship.

A/N: I hope you enjoyed the second part of Losing Myself. I told you that this story was depressing. The next chapter is to be the "Epilogue" to this chapter. It won't be a true epilogue because it isn't the last part of the story; it is just an epilogue to this chapter. This next chapter will not be from anyone's P.O.V. but after that it will go back to its normalcy of the story being told from different people's point of views.

Until next time readers.

ladybird2223

Oh yea don't forget to leave a review.