Digimon Fan Fiction ❯ Mallrats: My Digimon Version ❯ Casting Call ( Prologue )

Disclaimer: I do not own Digimon and Mallrats or any of the registered characters therein.

This is basically a parody of the movie Mallrats.

Mallrats: My Digimon Version

By Wyld Stallyns

~ Casting Call ~

*Everyone is busy conversing with each other.*

Stallyns: All right, everyone we need some silence here, please.

*Everyone continues talking to each other.*

Stallyns: Hello? Damn it! Hey, Lucemon, can you help me out here?

Lucemon: Yeah, sure. EVERYONE SHUT THE HELL UP!

*Everyone in the room suddenly becomes silent.*

Stallyns: Thanks partner.

Lucemon: No problem.

Stallyns: All right now. You guys all know why you're here right?

Kazu: Uh, no.

Stallyns: Jesus Christ! Didn't you guys get my memo?

Kenta: What memo?

Stallyns: Ugh, fine. I guess I'll have to waste my time telling you than.

Terriermon: What time? All you do is sit around and play video games all day.

Stallyns: Hey, I don't just sit around and play video games all the time. I also like to sit at my computer and read fanfics.

Terriermon: [Sarcastically] Geez, if you read fanfics, you really must have no life.

Stallyns: Shut your pie hole rabbit, before I make rabbit stew out of you.

Terriemon: Eep! Yes sir. *Does a salute*

Stallyns: Anyways, I have called you all here, 'cause I need you guys to be in this fic that I'm doing. It's called Mallrats, and it will star you Tamers and some of your favorite Digi-Destined as well.

Stallyns: Now, the main characters in this fic will be Takato, Rika, Henry, and Jeri.

Takato: Huh? Why us?

Lucemon: Well, since this fic is going to have some romance in it, the couples are going to be Rukato and LeeJuri.

Rika: [Turning red] What? You're pairing me with Goggle-Head?

Stallyns: Uh, yeah.

Takato: What's wrong with that Rika?

Rika: [Blushing] Nothing.

Stallyns: Is that okay with the two of you, Henry and Jeri?

Henry: [Making out with Jeri]

Stallyns: Henry? Jeri?

Henry: [Still making out with Jeri]

Stallyns: Hello? [Waving my hands]

Henry: [Continues to make out with Jeri]

Stallyns: [Sighs] Why do I even bother? Okay, Takato, you will play Brodie, a comic geek. But since I'm changing a few things, you'll be a Digimon geek instead.

Terriermon: That shouldn't be too hard for him, considering that's what he is.

Rika: Shut up rabbit. No one insults my Goggle-Head. Got it?

Terriermon: [Gulps] Got it.

Stallyns: [Laughs] Rika, you get to be his girlfriend, Rene. Henry, you're going to play Takato's best friend, T.S. And Jeri gets to be Brandi. You three OK with that?

Rika: Whatever. As long as I'm paired up with my Goggle-Head.

*Henry and Jeri aren't paying attention, since their too busy making out.*

Stallyns: Geez, when are those two gonna take a break? Now Ryo, you get to be Shannon, the guy that tries to steal Rika from Takato.

Ryo: What? Why did you choose me? Rika will kill me.

Stallyns: [Softly] That's what we're hoping for.

Ryo: Say what?!

Stallyns: Nothing. Lucemon and I chose you, 'cause we needed an arrogant jerk for the role. And you know what? You were the first person that came to our twisted minds, hehehe.

Ryo: Hey! I'm not an arrogant jerk. Just 'cause I took Sakuyamon's power to fight the D-Reaper, doesn't give you the right to call me that.

Stallyns: Did it work?

Ryo: Well, no.

Stallyns: Then, there you go. You wasted Sakuyamon's power for nothing. Now for Kazu and Kenta.

Kazu & Kenta: What about us?

Lucemon: The two of you get to be the Jay and Silent Bob of this fic. Kazu will be Jay and Kenta will be Silent Bob.

Kazu & Kenta: ALRIGHT! [Giving each other a high-five]

Stallyns: Okay, now...

Kenta: [Just realizing something] Hey, wait a minute, aren't I supposed get hurt in this thing?

Stallyns: Don't worry, we got an ambulance and a medical team standing by just in case. I would've hired a stuntman for you, but I could care less what happens to you, so I didn't.

Kenta: [Sarcastically] Geez, thanks a lot.

Stallyns: Yamaki, you get to be LaFours, the mall security guard.

Yamaki: [Just nods his head]

Stallyns: Alice, you're going to be in this thing as well. You get to be Gwen, Henry's ex-girlfriend. If that's all right with you that is.

Alice: [Speaking some unknown language]

Stallyns: What did she say?

Lucemon: I think she said "yes".

Stallyns: [Sighs] Man, these Goth chicks. Can't understand a thing they say. Ai & Mako, the two of you will get short roles, no pun intended.

Ai: What kind of role?

Stallyns: Well, the two of will find out later.

Ai & Mako: Okay.

*They go off and play with Susie, who by the way is torturing both Impmon and Lopmon, who are both tied up, with the Pwincess Pwetty Pants mistreatment, I mean treatment.*

Stallyns: [Laughs] Aw, poor Impmon. How did he get stuck in there in the first place?

*Henry's Terriermon and Willis's Terriermon sneak away with some rope in their hands.*

Stallyns: Now for the Digi-Destined. J.P. you will take the role of Willam, the big guy.

J.P.: Isn't that guy slow-minded?

Stallyns: Yeah, so? You're the only person that is fat enough to play his role, so that's why you were chosen.

J.P.: Hey! I resent that. [Takes out a chocolate bar and eats it] I'm just big-boned.

Stallyns: Riiiiiight. Tai, you will get to be Stan Lee.

Tai: Cool! I get to be the great Stan Lee.

Stallyns: Only problem is, we're going to hate ourselves for putting you in that role.

Tai: Huh? What's wrong with being Stan Lee?

Stallyns: Nothing's wrong with being Stan Lee. It's just what the guy has to say to Takato's character later on in this fic.

Tai: [Nods grimly] Oh, I see.

Stallyns: Yeah. Okay, Sora, you will get the role of Miss Ivannah.

Sora: What? I don't want to be that stripper!.

Stallyns: Well, TOO BAD! Consider it payback for going with Matt instead of Tai during that Christmas concert.

Sora: *Pouts* Fine.

Stallyns: Now we just need someone to be "Trish the Dish" in this. Now girls, there's no need to fight for this role.

*You can hear the crickets chirping outside.*

Stallyns: [Sweat drops] Uh...anybody? Aw, come on. Don't make me beg. Um...how about I let whomever takes the role, gets a chance to beat up Davis?

Davis: WHAT?

Stallyns: Just kidding , Davis. After all the bashings that you've received from my fellow Takari supporters, I think you deserve a much-needed rest.

Davis: Thanks.

Stallyns: Besides, I have someone else in mine that truly deserves a good beating. So, whoever takes the role, will get the chance to beat the hell out of Ryo.

Ryo: WHAT?

Stallyns: So, who wants it?

*You can still hear the crickets chirping outside.*

Stallyns: Geez, I thought that would of worked for sure.

Ryo: [Wipes some sweat from his forehead] Whew.

Stallyns: How about I add Terriermon to the beating as well?

Ryo: Uh, oh.

Terriermon: Hey, you can't do that to me. Oh wait, you're in charge here, yes you can.

Stallyns: Hehehe. So girls, any of you want the role?

*The chirping gets louder.*

Stallyns: Tough crowd. How about whomever takes the role will get the chance to go out on a date with one-half of the most popular Digimon couple and my favorite Digi-Destined, T.K. Is that okay with you, T.K.?

T.K.: Sure, anything for one of my fans.

Stallyns: Thanks. This offer will be added to my previous offers as well. So you will get the chance to beat up Ryo, Terriermon, and go out on a date with TK. So, any takers?

*All of a sudden you see a cloud of smoke, with Kari, Catherine, Mimi, Yolei, and Jun charging towards me.*

Stallyns: Uh, oh. RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! AHHHHH!

*Kari, Catherine, Mimi, Yolei, and Jun jump on me before I get the chance to run.*

Stallyns: Hey! Get off of me!

Kari, Catherine, Mimi, Yolei, and Jun: I'll take the role. [Arguing with each other] Hey, I asked first.

Stallyns: Now, now, girls, just get off me so I can make my decision. Although, it is nice to have you on top of me, Mimi.

Mimi: [Blushes]

*The four girls get off of me.*

Stallyns: Okay, Jun, there's no way I'm giving you the role. You freak me out too much. Lucemon, give her the boot.

Lucemon: [Grabs Jun and throws her out the nearest window.]

Stallyns: Sorry Yolei, but I just don't think you would be right for the role. Now, go sit by Davis. Okay, Mimi, come here, I got to ask you something.

*Mimi comes to me and I whisper something into her ear. She nods her head and goes to her seat.*

T.K.: What did you ask her?

Stallyns: I asked her if she wanted to go out to the movies with me when this was all over. So, want to go on a double date with whomever I choose?

T.K.: Yeah, sure.

Stallyns: Hmmmmm, Catherine or Kari. Two excellent choices, but who to pick? Ah, I'll just let the people choose who. [Turns to the audience] So, if your reading and plan on reviewing this fic, please vote for whom you want to take the role of "Trish the Dish". I'm not sure if I'll change this role though, I do need some way to get Ryo arrested at the end of this fic. So the choices are between Kari and Catherine.

T.K.: Whom are you talking to?

Stallyns: My audience.

Terriermon: What audience? I doubt anyone's actually going to read this piece of crap.

Stallyns: You know what? I could always tie you up and throw you into a pit full of Numamon.

Terriermon: Shutting up. [Makes like he's zipping his lips.]

Stallyns: Now, we need three guys to be suitors for the "Lets Make A Date" game show, which will happen in the last chapter. So Joe, Izzy, and Cody, you guys will be the suitors for the game show.

Joe, Izzy, & Cody: Why us?

Stallyns: Well, we needed guys who were college material. So, you three were picked.

Lucemon: Now, for Mr. Katou's assistant, I guess we'll give the role to Willis.

Willis: *Sarcastically* Greeeaaat.

Stallyns: ^_- Hmmmmm. T.K., you and me get to be the cops at the end of this fic.

T.K.: Your putting yourself into your own fic?

Stallyns: Yeah, so? What's wrong with that?

T.K.: Nothing. But isn't self-insertion the lamest thing an author can do?

Stallyns: Whatever.

To be continued.....

Okay, do whatever you want. Flame me or praise me, just as long as you have some constructive criticism for me. Any comments should be helpful. Depends on your choice of words.

*NOTE: I don't really hate Ryo. I just like to make fun of him that's all.*

*NOTE: If you haven't seen the movie before, go to http://www.viewaskew.com/mallrats/index.html to learn about it.*