Digimon Fan Fiction ❯ Mystery Science Theatre 3000: The Unoffical 2nd Movie ❯ Introduction and true (artifical) hearts confessions ( Chapter 1 )

(CLASSROOM where PEARL is waiting for NED, QB TED, and DAISY and she sees the camera is on)

PEARL: Well, good afternoon to you one and all, I am part time college professor, part time dictator, full time mad scientist Pearl Forrester-Nelson. That's right, I married the same lug my son, Dr. Clayton Forrester, and I tortured for years. Anyway, I gave two of my prized pupils, one a nerd and the other a quarterback, and the girlfriend of the football player a simple assignment. What is it you asked? Simple…

(PEARL is holding a clipboard with a picture of BRIAN)

PEARL: This is Brian Smiley. He entered the local science fair one day, rebuilding my son's old Satellite witch fell to Earth in pieces a year ago. Everything would have been fine and dandy… IF HE DIDN'T TURN MY HOUSE INTO ASH! And I do not mean that annoying kid with the yellow rat. So, for revenge, and to make sure those three students of mine pass, I gave Ned and Ted the assignment to send the worst fanfics they can find and make rocket boy sit and watch them all until he goes insane. Daisy joined them after Brian caused her and Davis to split into two. Don't ask, it's a long story.

(NED, QB TED, and DAISY enter)

PEARL: Did you find it?

DAISY: Yep. I told them where there was a Digimon body swap fic.

PEARL: Something that's been done to death, yes, this will get you three extra credit.

QB TED: Duh, and you can thank my red headed angel for that one.

DAISY: Thanks hon.

NED: Oh, but wait until they get to the end. It'll make even the toughest reader cringe.

PEARL: What's it called?

NED: "Through different eyes."

PEARL: What are you waiting for 4 eyes? Load the fic!

(NED pulls a switch… and the power goes out)

NED: Aw poopie.

MST3K: THE UNOFFICIAL SECOND MOVIE

(SOL, where BRIAN is fixing a section and MAGGIE is helping him out by handing him various tools)

BRIAN: Heard from Fire and 007.

MAGGIE: That's cool. How are they?

BRIAN: Well, they said they've been dating for a couple of months now and are still in touch with Robster. As for Rob, he's in the Fanfic ward of the local mental hospital. He read a story written by some dude. Digisomething or other.

MAGGIE: You mean that guy with the all those numbers at the end that makes him sound like a professional wrestler?

BRIAN: That's the one. I knew his stories weren't good, but the nut house?

MAGGIE: I wonder if we'll get some of his works soon.

BRIAN: If I know the Mads, we will. Wrench please.

(MAGGIE is about to hand BRIAN a wrench and BRIAN grabs it… and MAGGIE'S hand. BRIAN gets out from the work area, looks at MAGGIE, and the two blush)

BRIAN: Um… uh…

MAGGIE: Um… where's the Bots?

BRIAN: I think they're at the steering wheel. I'm going to see what they're doing.

MAGGIE: Good idea. I'll join you.

(Cockpit of the SOL, where CROW is driving and TOM, dressed in a bad suit, tie, and bad pants, is instructing him)

TOM: Good Crow. Ok, now make a hard left.

(CROW does so)

MAGGIE: What are you guys doing?

CROW: Tom here is teaching me how to drive the Satellite of Love.

TOM: And I must say he's doing a fine job. He's one of my best student's yet.

CROW: I'm your only student.

MAGGIE: But Crow you told us never ever let you fly the Satellite under any circumstances.

CROW: I did?

BRIAN: Yeah. You even forced me to sign a contract stating that I am to never let you pilot anything bigger than a paper airplane.

CROW: Oh yeah, now I remember.

(All hell breaks loose as the SOL goes topsy turvey, side to side, and all over the place)

BRIAN: CROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWW!

CROW: I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING YET!

(BRIAN & MAGGIE fall to the ceiling as the SOL turns upside down)

TOM: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! WE'RE GONNA DIE!

MAGGIE: GYPSY! HELP!

GYPSY: I'M ON IT!

(GYPSY stabilizes the SOL…)

GYPSY: There, everything should be fine.

BRIAN & MAGGIE: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

(…and BRIAN & MAGGIE land on the floor, on top one another)

MAGGIE: Um… uh… hey.

BRIAN: Um… Hi.

(MAGGIE blushes and gets off of BRIAN, who too is blushing as he gets up)

BRIAN: Thanks Gyps. Now Crow, what on earth made you want to fly this thing?

CROW: I forgot that I didn't know how.

(MADS light flashes)

MAGGIE: Heads up. Monty Python's Flying Circus is calling.

(BRIAN taps the light and instead of the usual pan to the classroom, the MADS are on a giant screen. Hey, it's a movie after all, need to make it look totally different from the show as much as possible. Plus, it's a sequel, so we need to rip off/clone bits from the original as much as we can)

NED: Well, if it isn't the little Duel Monster players now.

BRIAN: Do we look that dumb?

(NED'S about to answer)

BRIAN: Don't answer that.

(NED shuts his mouth)

QB TED: We found a doozey of a fanfic.

DAISY: *AHEM*

QB TED: Ok, ok. Daisy found it.

DAISY: It's a Digimon body swap fic.

TOM: You wanted the "Beating a dead horse" extra credit Mrs. F was offering, didn't ya?

DAISY: It's not my fault if I'm failing the world domination part of the course.

PEARL (Off screen): AND THAT'S MRS. N!

TOM: Sorry.

DAISY: Say, I don't think you congratulated Ted for the victory he helped our football team get during homecoming.

BRIAN: Sure we did, right after the game.

DAISY: But I don't think you bowed.

BRIAN: Yes we did.

NED: I think its best that we play this safe and assume they didn't bow.

(CROW splashes MAGGIE with hot water)

MAGGIE: WHAT WAS THAT FOR?! I'M STILL AN ANDROID!

CROW: Sorry. Since you look the same in ether form, its difficult to tell.

TOM: But it's a good thing you are in your android form now.

MAGGIE: Why?

(NED pulls a lever)

CROW: Because…

(BRIAN is gasping for air and is bowing desperately)

MAGGIE: OH MY GOD!

(MAGGIE starts to bow repeatedly along with TOM & CROW)

(NED pulls the lever and BRIAN can breathe)

QB TED: Duh, thanks Ned. I never had a friend who was willing to cut off the oxygen to make others bow to me before.

NED: Think nothing of it Ted.

BRIAN: All right Ned.

CROW: What a dick-weed.

NED: ENOUGH! It is time for you to prepare for… uh, but before we do unleash the terror of this week's fic, did you, you know?

ALL: Yes.

NED: Good, because I don't want to stop the movie for…

ALL: You won't.

NED: Good. Then prepare thy selves for The Fallen Starmaster's "Through Different Eyes."

(Lights and Klaxon go off)

BRIAN: WE GOT FANFIC SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGGGGGGGGGGGGGGNNNNNNNNNNNNN!

(Dog bone… 6… 5… 4… 3… 2… 1… 0, ALL take their seats)

Through Different Eyes

TOM: The hills have eyes, but they have glaucoma right now.

I don't know where this came from,

BRIAN: Hell.

well, actually I did, but...someone dared me to write this fic,

CROW: This is going to be a doozey.

without humor, just being totally series. That was hard on my part,

MAGGIE: Its too early Crow.

CROW: Dang.

well, enjoy.

ALL: Doubt it.

Part 1:

TOM: Part one? Oh great, it's in chapters.

"I still don't understand why we had to separate from everyone," Mimi said as

she sat underneath a big tree.

ALL (Singing): Watch out for that…

CROW: AYAYAYAYA!

TOM: CRASH!

ALL (Singing): Treeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee….

"I told you why," Tai said, scanning the horizon of the Digital Forest,"Because

we'd cover more ground this way."

CROW (Tai thinking): Yeah, that's it, she'll believe that.

"I know that," Mimi said, sitting down,"but why did you and me have to end up

together?"

TOM: Ok, why do I have a feeling this is foreshadowing something that will really hurt?

"Listen," Tai said, turning around,"I pulled the names out of a hat, okay?"

"Okay! Sheesh!"

BRIAN: I wonder where in the world some of these authors get the idea that Tai and Mimi don't like each other as much as they like the others.

CROW (Author): Well, Tai acts like a jock and Mimi acts like a prissy spoiled brat who hates sports.

TOM (Interviewer): How did you reach that conclusion?

CROW (Author): She wined within two miles of hiking in the Digiworld.

Tai took a few more seconds to stare her down.

MAGGIE: It's a staring contest.

Mimi caught him, and quickly pulled her legs up, so that Tai couldn't look down her short white skirt anymore. "Stop looking you pervert."

(BRIAN looks at CROW)

CROW: She means Tai.

BRIAN: Oh.

"Hey," he said, turning around,"I'm not the one wearing something so tight and small."

CROW (Tai): Not that you can see anyway.

BRIAN: CROW!

"Why you little..." she began.

TOM: Mimi as Homer Simpson everybody.

ALL (Dully): Hooray.

"Mimi," Tai started,"Let's just find that device."

"Fine," she said, getting up,"Let's go."

CROW: Boy, that moral is really going up for the DD's isn't it?

TOM: Yeah, and does it show.

They started walking for a couple of minutes, when Mimi said,"By the way, Tai,

what are we looking for? You and Davis never told us."

CROW (Tai): What? Huh? Oh, right, a device.

"Oh yeah," he said, looking around the forest,"Izzy said that Tentomon was

reporting strange energy waves in this forest."

MAGGIE (Tai): Of course, he was on acid at the time.

"Maybe that could be it?" Mimi asked, pointing towards a large structure in the distance.

BRIAN: No, that's another unusual structure that doesn't blend in with the Digiworld.

"Yes," Tai said, "that could be it."

CROW (Tai): But, just in case, lets fine something else.

A little later the two approached the base of the structure. It was in a clearing surrounded by large bushes.

"This place really needs a gardener," Mimi said,

TOM (Care taker): We tried to hire one, but it was too expensive.

walking towards the large hedges. Suddenly, the hedges started to shake, and Mimi jumped back, "Ahh!"

"Mimi," Tai said,"Be careful."

"But, there's something in there," she said.

BRIAN (Ash): Something dark in the woods. Something… evil.

BOTS: GASP!

The two watched the bushes shake,

ALL (Singing): Shake, shake, shake. Shake, shake, shake. Shake your booty, shake your booty.

and a giant Digimon came out.

CROW: Of the closet.

BRIAN: CROW!

"Its a Golemon!" Mimi said,"What are we going to do? We don't have our Digimon!"

(ALL look at the last statement and laugh)

BRIAN: Ok, first, we have a Tai and Mimi that don't like each other that much, now we read that they forgot their Digimon? Oh, ho, is this going to be hell.

The Golemon looked at them, then he started yelling. He turned, and ran back

into the forest.

CROW (Golemon): I'm a big bad Digimon, I'm a big bad Digimon.

MAGGIE (Mimi): Hi.

CROW (Golemon): AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! HUMANS! I WANT MY DIGIMOMMY!

"What was that about?" Tai asked.

TOM: Oh, I say five seconds of my life that I want back.

"I don't know," Mimi said,"But I think we got lucky. Let's see what's inside,

then leave."

MAGGIE (Mimi): Ok, we have ancient curses, mummies, tombs… nothing unusual for a temple, big waste, lets go.

Tai agreed and soon the two of them were at the top of the high stars.

TOM: They're in outer space?

They walked inside the small room and found nothing except a weird object. "What's

that?" Mimi asked.

MAGGIE: A weird object.

"It looks like a Digi-Egg," he said, picking it up,"But it has two squares

connected to each other on it, I've never seen one like this before."

CROW: Wouldn't you know it, a fan created Digi-Egg is at the center of this mess.

"Let's take it anyway," Mimi said,"Then let's meet up with the others. This

place is giving me the creeps."

TOM: Lets hope that the temple pulls an Indiana Jones on them and causes a huge bolder to roll towards them.

BRAIN: Dark today?

TOM: Yep.

"Yeah," Tai said,"Let's go."

MAGGIE: Didn't he just say that?

The two of them walked back down the stairs, where they were greeted by a group

of Botamon. "Look how cute they are!" Mimi shriek, rushing over to pick one up,

when the suddenly started attacking.

CROW: "When Ompahloompahs Attack," next Jerry Springer.

"Ahh!" Mimi said, running back over to Tai,"What are they doing?"

BRIAN: They're attacking you, duh.

"I don't know," Tai said, grabbing Mimi's hand,"But let's leave."

TOM: Gee, ya think?

The two of them ran through the forest, being chased by a horde of Botamon with

nasty attitudes.

BRIAN: WWF attitudes.

MAGGIE: Honey, that's WWE now.

BOTS: "Honey?!"

MAGGIE: Um… uh….

BOTS: FANCOUPLE! FANCOUPLE! FANCOUPLE!

BRIAN & MAGGIE: WE ARE NOT A COUPLE!

"I hope there's one around here...There!"

"What?" Mimi asked, looking in his direction.

ALL: He said, "I hope there's one around here… There!"

"A television set," he said,"We can get out of here!"

TOM (Singing): `Cause I'm outta here.

"I'm with you!"

CROW: Unfortunately, Tai took directions from Ryoga Habiki and the two were lost for months.

The two of them held up their Digivices and were pulled through the television

set.

TOM: Talk about getting into your television.

As they were pulled through the Digital Gate, the device in Tai's hand

started to glow strangely. The light it emitted enveloped both Tai and Mimi,

MAGGIE (Reverend Love Joy): Do you see a light my son?

BRIAN (Tai): Yes.

MAGGIE: (Reverend Love Joy): Head towards it my son.

BRIAN (Tai): AYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYA!

filling them with a strange sensation.

CROW: Its called hitting puberty just as soon as you see your dad's hidden Playboys.

BRIAN: CROW!

That sensation was soon replaced by slamming into the hard floor of the computer lab.

TOM: WHAM! BAM! THANK YOU MA'AM!

"Ouch!" Tai said sitting up with his eyes closed. He placed a hand on his

forehead. "That hurt!" he thought. Then he noticed that his hair was in the way.

He pushed it out of the way, wondering how his thick hair had reach his

forehead.

MAGGIE: It's got its own ecosystem.

BRIAN: Now that's thick.

That's when he noticed the unfamiliar weight on his chest.

CROW: For someone placed barbells on there.

His eyes shot open and he noticed the unfamiliar clothes he was wearing.

TOM (Tai): Oh man, did I drink last night. The last thing I remember was that I was with Matt and… Why am I in a fuku?

BRIAN (Sarcastic): Thanks for that mental image Tom.

He saw a red and blue short sleeve shirt that ended above his navel. Further down his

new figure was a short white skirt that fully showcased his curves, then he saw

knee high socks and a pair of platform shoes.

CROW: It's 70's retro flashback!

"Oh my...." he started, then placed his hands to his mouth, surprised at the sound that came out.

BRIAN (Tai): Oh my, I said "Oh my…"

He quickly got up and ran over to a black computer screen. The reflection wasn't

that good, but he still saw what he needed. "How...what..why...

ALL: Huh, wha?

how did....I'm Mimi!"

TOM: And thus, we have plot point.

Then he heard his old voice cry out,"What the hell happen?"

BRIAN: You went to a temple without your Digimon, and Tai's you.

He turned around and saw his old body standing up,"Mimi?"

His old face looked at him,"Tai?"

CROW: Lets see, the two of you left and you're in the other's body? Who the hell can be you when it's just the two of you?

"Yeah," he said,"What happened?"

"I don't know," Mimi said,"But..what are we going to do?"

"I don't know!" Tai said,"I'm you!"

ALL: Duh!

"A worse fate, I could not imagine," she said, sarcasticly.

BRIAN: You know, I had high hopes for this fic, then came the hints that Tai and Mimi don't like each other that much.

MAGGIE: You had hopes?

BRIAN: I know, I was shocked at myself too.

"This isn't time for jokes," Tai said.

CROW: But there's always time for Jell-O.

He lend against the table, and crossed his arms, feeling more than a little weird from his new breasts. "We were still ourselves before we went through the gate, what happened while we were inside?"

TOM: A weird light? Hello, like you wouldn't be able too…

BRIAN: Tom, look who's in the room and tell me that they would have noticed.

TOM: Good point.

"I remember a weird energy coming from..." Mimi started.

"The Egg!" both of them said. They started searching the ground, when Tai found

it. He bent down to pick it up, but felt a draft on his underside, then he

quickly pulled back up. He bent his knees this time and went down. "Why did Mimi

have to where a skirt so short?" he asked himself as he picked up the egg.

CROW: Because the look wouldn't scream "Refugee from the 70's."

When he turned around, he saw Mimi laughing at him. "If you're going to be a

girl, you're going to have to act more lady-like."

TOM (Patrick Star): Keep you pinky up at all times.

"I'm not going to be a girl any longer than I have to," he said, holding up the

egg,"I've got to talk to Izzy, about this. Until then, we've got to keep this a

secret."

"Why?" Mimi asked.

ALL: That's what we want to know.

"Because, if anyone found out about this, we'd probably end up in a lab, being

dissected."

TOM: What? Where on earth did he get that idea?

CROW (Doctor): Hmmmm… so you say this egg caused you two to become one another? OKAY BOYS, LETS CUT THEM OPEN!

"I guess you're right," Mimi said,"So, I've got to pretend to be you until we

find a way back?"

Tai nodded, then sighed. "and I've got to pretend to be you, at least I know

where you live."

CROW: And I saw what you did.

Mimi nodded, then started laughing,"You've got a photo shoot in a couple of

days, not to mention a date with Matt tonight!"

MAGGIE: And thus, we have our obligatory Taito hint.

"What?" Tai shouted,"Well, I'll have to cancel."

"You will do no such thing!" Mimi said,"When I get back to my body, I want to be

able to have a nice life with Matt, okay?"

BRIAN: Just how long does she plan to be a guy anyway?

"What if I refuse?" Tai asked.

"Then I will make up your body to look exactly like a girls!"

ALL: Seen it.

"Deal," Tai said,"Well, we'd better get going, I'll hang on to the Egg."

"Oh, Mimi, you're home, good."

TOM: What the…?

BRIAN: Hey Mr. Author, it's called "Showing a passage of time."

Tai looked around the house. Despite the fact that Mimi's mom decorated the

place, it wasn't covered in all pink. "Mimi?"

BRIAN (Mimi waking up from her trance): FOOTBALL PRACTICE!

He turned in the direction of the voice, and saw a familiar looking woman

walking up to him,"Oh, uh, hi...mom."

"Hi, sweety," she said, niecly,"Matt called and said he'd be here to pick you up

at seven."

TOM: But its 6:59!

ALL: D'HO! Waw, waw, waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwww.

Tai felt something tighten in the pit of his stomach,"Right. I-uh, was just

going to get ready now."

He threw off his shoes, then started walking into the apartment. "Now I've just

got to find the right room..."

TOM (Mimi): No. Nope. Not it.

CROW (Mr. Burns): Did you find the bathroom ok?

TOM (Mimi): Um… yeah.

He started walking down the hall, when he got a bit of luck. There was a big

sign with the name, MIMI written across it. "That must be her room!" he thought

as he walked inside. It was, without a doubt. The entire room was covered in

pink.

BRIAN (Singing): Yeah, pink it's like red but not quite.

Tai groaned and shut the door. "Now I've probably got to take a bath."

MAGGIE: PHEW! I'll say! You stink too high Heaven.

He sighed as he peeled off his socks, then he did the same with his skirt.

"Hah," he said to himself,"Even her underwear is pink."

CROW: Tai, not even a girl for a whole day, and already you're peaking in places you shouldn't. Lucky bastard.

BRIAN: CROW!

to be continued.....

(ALL are about to leave)

NED (Voice Over): Uh, guys, this week, we want to see what happens when the subjects are in the theatre for a prolonged experiment.

(ALL groan and sit back down)

BRIAN: Great, just great. They get the low grades, yet we're the ones in pain.

Part 2:

TOM: Electric boogaloo.

Tai was unsure of what to do as she studied the bath water.

MAGGIE: "She?"

BRIAN: I think the author is writing the character with respect of the body.

How did girls take baths? She assumed that it was that different from a guy's bath habits, but,

there were different areas to wash.

CROW: Interesting areas.

BRIAN: Was that dirty?

CROW: Um… no?

BRIAN: CROW!

Mimi's hair was twice as long as his used to be..

TOM: But his was 3 times as thick.

"Might as well get this over with,"she thought as she untied her robe.

(BRIAN covers CROW'S eyes as MAGGIE covers TOM'S dome)

BOTS: HEY!

BRIAN: This is not for young and dirty bots' eyes.

MAGGIE: Shouldn't you cover your eyes too?

BRIAN: I'm 19 and I can only think of one girl I'd be mindlessly drooling over.

(MAGGIE starts to blush)

BOTS: FANCOUPLE! FANCOUPLE! FANCOUPLE!

BRIAN & MAGGIE: WE ARE NOT A COUPLE!

She easily placed her leg into the water and slide down against the back, lying in

the water as she had seen women on t.v. do it.

(BRIAN & MAGGIE uncover the BOTS' eyes, or in TOM'S case, dome)

CROW: In porn.

BRIAN: CROW!

She sat lying in the bath,"Now what do I do?"

BRIAN: Clean up and beat up the moron that said "Oh, the 70's look is you."

After about an hour, she just did what he usually did. She washed himself and

her hair, wishing she payed to attention to Mimi's blabbering about what shampoo

she uses.

CROW (Tai): Lets see, may cause baldness in women. Oh, I usually use this, so I might as well.

After she had dried himself off, she put the robe back on and walked back to

Mimi's room. "I wonder how Mimi is doing? I hope that idiot remembered to keep

quiet about this!"

ALL: Um, no.

"Really, Mimi?" Kari asked, her eyes open wide.

Mimi nodded, sitting on the end of Kari's bed."Yup, and Tai's got the egg now.

Tomorrow we're going to talk to Izzy about it."

BRIAN: She blabbed.

CROW (Doctor): Ok fellas, she blabbed. SCALPELS OUT!

TOM (Doctor): DIBS ON THE LIVER!

BRIAN (Doctor): KIDNEY FOR ME!

MAGGIE (Doctor): I GET THE HEART!

Kari nodded, her eyes still wide open.

CROW: Better than "Eyes Wide Shut."

It was so unbelievable that part of her didn't want to believe it, but, everything Mimi told her, were things that Tai would have no way of knowing. "So, Mimi, how does it feel to be a guy?"

TOM (Mimi): BURP! A little gassy.

"I don't know," he said, shrugging Tai's shoulders,"Its really different, but I

wish I had my old body back."

He sighed and got up and walked over to Kari's closet,"Hey Kari, do you think

any of your clothes would fit Tai's body?"

Kari was about to protest, when she smiled. "Hold on, I'll get a camera!"

CROW: So much for being discreet.

Tai stared at herself in the mirror. "I guess this is okay, I never had this

much trouble in my old body."

(BRIAN grabs CROW'S beak shut)

She had chosen out of Mimi's closet a pink dress without any sleeves that ended

slightly above her knees. The only problem that she didn't like about it was

that it showed too much cleavage. Normally, he'd enjoy seeing that, but, this

time they were HIS!

MAGGIE: HA! Now you know how it feels when a guy stars at your cleavage!

She hadn't done anything with her hair, she just simply dried it.

BRIAN: And it fizzled out.

She tried her best with the makeup, remembering how she'd seen Kari do it, and she was pleased

that she didn't look like a hooker.

CROW: She looked like a clown.

With Mimi's body, she could easily pass as one.

"Mimi!" he heard Mrs. Tachiwaka yell,"Matt's here."

TOM: Ok, so this fic is a Taito/Mimato?

BRIAN: A meeting of the minds, their date is not.

"Great!" Tai thought. She turned around and wobbled across the floor.

"Damn heels!" she thought as she stumbled out the door.

Inside the living room, she saw Matt sitting on the couch. "Hi Mimi."

"Hi, Matt," she said, walking like she's seen Mimi do,

CROW: Sluty.

"How are you tonight?"

TOM (Matt): Oh, you know, a tallentless hack.

"Just fine. How about you?"

"Oh, I haven't felt like myself lately."

(TOM does a rim shot noise)

"Well," Matt said, walking towards the door,"Maybe you'll feel better after

tonight."

ALL: Don't bet on it.

Tai didn't say anything as she followed Matt out the door.

"This movie stinks!" Tai thought to herself,"I'd prefer a great Dragonball Z

movie,

BRIAN: Witch one? There's 50 of them.

but instead Matt drags me to this romance crap!" She then smiled to

himself,"At least I get dinner and a move for free!"

CROW: And the diner was as good as the movie.

TOM: D'HO!

ALL: Waw, waw, waaaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwww.

She moved in his seat again. "How can girls sit with these skirts? This thing is

driving me crazy!"

MAGGIE (Singing): You drive me crazy, but it feels so right.

She shifted her legs. She couldn't get comfortable. Then she had a thought, she

crossed her legs. "Ahh, this is better," she though,"So, that's the secret."

CROW: Victoria's Secret.

She watched the movie for a bit longer."I'm thirsty." She was about to get up,

when she remembered where she was. "Wait, this is a date, and I'm the girl."

ALL: THAT GIRL!

She turned her head and whispered to Matt. "Matt, I'm thirty."

"Okay, Mimi," she said, getting up,"I'll be right back."

CROW (Horror movie fan from Scream): You never say I'll be right back, because you won't be back.

BRIAN: WOOOOO! MATT'S GONNA DIE!

TOM: But this isn't a horror fic.

BRIAN: DAMN IT!

"Hee hee," Tai smiled to herself,"I might actually enjoy this! HAHAHAHA!"

ALL: Too much information.

Dinner was great too. Tai didn't have to worry about paying anything. Matt took

her to a niece restaurant were he ordered a large steak. Tai wanted something

from the steak menu also, but she then realized that she was in Mimi's body,

which meant having Mimi's appetite.

CROW: A supermodel's diet composed composed of celery.

BRIAN: And?

CROW: And what?

(TOM makes a rim shot noise)

Tai had never seen Mimi eat more than a 6 oz burger in one sitting before.

TOM: She's a model. The most she ate is an ounce of something.

"What should I have then?" she thought, studying the menu,"I know Mimi and Kari

like to eat salads a lot. Sora never did like all that green stuff, oh geez!

This would be so much easier if I had switch with Sora! I know everything about

her! Um...well...."

CROW: Just goes to show you kids that stalking pays off.

She stared studying the salad section, her eyes gazing towards the steak

section. Finally, he decided to comprismise.

TOM: He agreed to disagree.

She turned and looked at the waiter and smiled the biggest smile he could make.

"Could I please get the Chef's Salad?"

The waiter tap his pencil on his pad,"I'm sorry, but that's only for lunch."

Tai then turned her smile around. "Oh, please?"

The waiter studied Tai's face. "Oh, okay. For a pretty face like yours..."

"Yes!" Tai thought,"That's the same trick Mimi used on me right when he returned

home from the Digiworld to Search for the Eight Child. This face just melts guys

away!

CROW: And causes them to get out their wallets…

BRIAN: CROW!

CROW: …to buy her something. What?

BRIAN: Never mind.

Being a girl does have its advantages!"

"Of course," she thought,"Being a guy stuck in a girl's body does have

disadvantages also. Like when your boyfriend is trying to make a more on you!"

Tai quickly scooted over in the seat a bit, making the arm that Matt was going

to drape around her shoulders fall onto the seat.

MAGGIE: Ok, if you're a Taito fan, do you say "Yahoo," at this point, or scream "Kill me" because its also a Mimato?

BRIAN: It's a moot point.

"Mimi?" Matt asked,"What's wrong? You've been avoiding me all evening.

CROW: Like the plague.

What's wrong?"

ALL: You got Sora at the end of 02.

"You wouldn't believe me," Tai said,"Its too weird."

BRIAN: Ok, so going into a world full of talking creatures made from data isn't weird?

BOTS: FANBOY! FANBOY! FANBOY!

"Hey," Matt said,"I've seen plenty of weird things."

"Well," Tai said,"What if I told you that I was really Tai?"

CROW (Doctor): Ok, boys, he confessed!

BRIAN (Doctor): DIBS ON THE THING HE CALLS HAIR!

Matt looked at her questionably. "What do you mean?"

Tai quickly recounted the tale of how he and Mimi found the egg, and upon

returning home, found themselves in each other's body.

"Mimi, are you feeling okay?" Matt asked.

CROW (Tai/Mimi): I'm fine, it's the rest of the world that's nuts.

"Matt," Tai said,"Do you remember the time when you and me snuck into the girl's

locker room at school?"

TOM (Tai): Oh I'm sorry, that was a movie I saw.

Matt's eyes flew open. "Oh my Gosh....Tai, it is you!"

"See," she said,"I told you it was me."

Matt was amazed. "Tai..I...I...How does it feel to be a girl?"

Tai smiled slightly. "I..don't know yet. I haven't really...checked myself out

yet."

ALL: ACK!

BRIAN: Well, THAT was a discrete way of saying "I don't know."

Matt looked at her with a questioned look, then Tai pointed at her breasts. Matt

nodded with an understanding look on his face. "I get it, but I guess you've

adjusted pretty well, considering you've managed to make that waiter get you

that salad you wanted."

Tai started to blush. "Well, I..ah.."

Matt suddenly got a look on his face. "Hey Tai..um..where is the egg now?"

ALL: Huh?

"Back at Mimi's house, why?"

TOM: I don't think we want to know.

"Could, I maybe use it? Just to see what being a girl is like?"

ALL: UGH!

"Uh, sure why not?" she said,"But first we'd better get to Izzy and see if he

can work it."

MAGGIE: WORK IT! WORK IT!

BRIAN: CROW!

CROW: What?

BRIAN: MAGGIE!

"Great," Matt said,"Let's go."

"Wait," Tai said, holding up her hand,"I do want to eat first."

"Fine," Matt said,"But you're going to help pay then."

"No way!" Tai said,"We're on a date, and I'm still the girl, meaning you're

paying! Besides, I don't have any money."

She showed Matt her purse,"See, flat broke!"

"Of course," Matt said,"All Mimi's money probably went into that fancy dress

you're wearing!"

BRIAN (Matt): Ha-ha-ha, I made a funny.

(The screen skips a bit)

BRIAN: What the…?

to be continued.....

(The fic breaks apart)

ALL: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

(ALL exit)

(Classroom)

NED: Minor Fanfic break. It happens all the time. At this rate, Brian should be insane by 10…

*BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM*

QB TED & DAISY: Whoops.

NED: …10:30 at the latest. TED! DAISY! I TOLD YOU NOT TO DO THAT!

(SOL, where BRIAN & MAGGIE are alone)

BRIAN: Um… hello.

MAGGIE: Uh… hi. Where's the guys?

BRIAN: Said they needed to get something.

(Awkward silence)

BRIAN: Um…

MAGGIE: Uh… Remember when you put me in this body?

BRIAN: How can I forget? I'm still reeling in pain. What about "Pink Wedding?"

MAGGIE: That's one fic I'd like to forget. Or, how about Daivs trying to let "Air" out of his lock?

BRIAN: Proved how dumb he was.

MAGGIE: Yeah.

BRIAN: My favorite memory though is activating you.

(MAGGIE smiles)

(Even more awkward silence)

BRIAN: Maggie…

MAGGIE: Brian…

BOTH: I love you!

BRIAN: You…

MAGGIE: Love…

BOTH: ME?!

BRIAN: How can I not? You love anime, you're fun to be with, you're a kind person.

MAGGIE: Same with you.

BRIAN: So, uh, what do I do now?

CROW (Off screen): Kiss her you dummy.

BRIAN: Hold that thought.

(BRIAN gets up and walks off screen)

CROW (O.S.): Hey, Brian. What are you… wait! PUT THAT TAPE D… MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!

(BRIAN walks back on screen)

BRIAN: Now, what should I do?

MAGGIE: Kiss me you dummy.

(BRIAN & MAGGIE kiss)

BRIAN: You're human?

MAGGIE: I did it for you.

(Confetti drops on the SOL and the BOTS are celebrating)

CROW (Who broke free from the tape): Took you two long enough.

MAGGIE: You guys had this planned?

GYPSY: I helped.

TOM: And I placed the odds in Vegas. You made a lot of people stinking rich.

BRIAN: Well, at this point Tom, I don't care what you say because nothing can spoil this.

(Lights go off)

ALL: EXCEPT FANFIC SIGN!

(Part 2 of the MST3K UNOFFICIAL MOVIE in the next chapter, as if that needed to be said)