Digimon Fan Fiction ❯ No Wings To Fly ❯ 11. Empty Eyes, Empty Soul ( Chapter 12 )

11 Empty Eyes, Empty Soul

Taichi stared blankly at me with those inquisitor eyes. "What happened?" he asked. I turn to meet the ground. No, I wasn't going to tell him. It was too painful and I didn't want him to know, that was the truth. I didn't want him to know. It was enough that I had to suffer with that, he didn't need to worry.

He sat by my side. "Tell me Sora." He demanded. But my will was too strong even for him. I looked into his eyes. We did not need words to tell how we felt to each other; after all we had been friends for ages, even if that friendship had grown apart.

My eyes said all that he needed to know. They said that the boy in who I had trusted had betrayed me in the cruelest way. They show how much and deep he had hurt me. They reflected the impossibility of me to get near him ever again. I wanted Kay to go dye far away from me.

"What did he do to you?" Taichi asked but even he knew that was a secret that I would reveal. He sighed defeated.

Days rushed in like the winter breeze. After a week it was given me permission to leave the hospital. My mom had come to visit me sometimes and she asked me to come home. I accepted. I didn't have anywhere else to go anyway. Taichi visited me several times too, but we just remained looking at each other in silence. A death silence that I could bare anymore. It was just like a cliff had born between the two of us and none could get through it.

Mimi and Yamato as well as Takeru, Hikari and Koushiro had come to visit me too. Jyou was in a summer course in Hong Kong so he couldn't come. I felt so supported by my friends, but still the happiness had been completely stolen from me.

I could no longer remember the days when I showed a true smile filled with true happiness. I could no longer remember a day in which my will to live could face any danger. When I lied in my bed, sometimes, I wished I had died with overdose.

The school days were mostly spent with Mimi, Yamato and Taichi, though we spend most of the time looking at the ceiling, well except for Mimi and Yamato that ate each other during lunch time and class' breaks.

Unfortunately Kay was in the same school as we and I had to see him around the school. I could see his eyes mirroring me, but I could see Taichi's eyes scaring him away too. He had become my silent protector but his eyes to me remained as silent, as empty, as lonely and as distant as in the day I first woke up at the hospital.

It was lunch break. Mimi and Yamato sat on the grass and started eating, this time the food not quite each other. I picked my lunch and stared at it. In my mind it was like a giant lunch and by just looking at it, I'd loosen all my appetite. Even the pleasure of eating had been completely denied to me.

I looked around at my friends. Taichi was laid on the grass staring at the ceiling. I could see his hair floating softly as the wind blew. Mimi and Yamato had stopped eating the food and started eating each other again. I thought that no one would notice my lack so I stood up and walked away. I went to the dust bin and threw the food away.

Then, suddenly I felt a presence behind me. I turned to face the devil's eyes. It was Kay. He grinned. I started panicking. I shouldn't have left my friends. I looked around. There was no one there, no one. I tried to pass him but he stood in front of me. I couldn't go ahead or step back cause behind me it was a wall. And he was too fast for me run from one of the sides.

Too late. I felt his hand touch my cheek. I pulled it away and stepped back. My heart bumped faster than I would ever think possible. "Come on, Sor." He grinned. "Can't you forgive me?"

I could feel his hand touching me but I didn't want him to do it. I pulled it away again. He stared at me. He grabbed me by my shoulders and pushed me against the wall. I winced as my ribs hit the hard bricks. "Kay, please, just leave me alone." I asked, though I knew quite well he wasn't going to do anything of what I would ask him.

I wanted to get away so I tried pushing him, but he was too strong. I started sobbing acknowledging that I would never escape from his claws. He wiped one of the tears from my cheek. "Don't cry. I just wanted you to stay with me." I glared at his eyes. The eyes that had been my hid out from my impossible love with Taichi. The eyes that had kept me safe and in which I trusted.

I could feel him getting closer to me, too close. I felt his breath on my neck as he leaned to kiss it. I tried once more with all my strength to pull him off. And suddenly the hands that held me against the wall released me.

I stared at a very angry Taichi grabbing a very scared Kay's arm. "Leave her alone. You've done enough to harm her." Taichi said in a voice that I didn't recognize. Kay looked into Taichi's eyes and then to me, and then again to Taichi's eyes. "This isn't over Sor." He yelled back as he walked away.

I looked to my saviour. I hoped to see joy for seeing me well and had saved me but there was none in his eyes. Once again, I stared into a blank Taichi, with no feelings towards me. Not anger, not joy, not sadness, not nothing. It was like all his feelings for me had been erased from his heart. I felt tears rolling down my cheeks as I saw him just turn away and head back to the place he had come from. Just like a knight who rescues the princess and leaves her quietly showing nothing towards her in front of her king and return to his castle to wait for another call of his king.

Again the pain was too much to handle. I ran away. I couldn't hold my tears back. I cried and cried until I reached home. The pain was stronger then ever. It was like my heart was being crossed by thousands of swords at the same time. Like thousand flames burning inside of it. And it hurt me, it hurt me too much.

I headed to my room. The time had come. I knew I wouldn't be happy ever again. Not with the knowledge of have hurt the person that I loved the most. Not knowing that he was because of me that his eyes didn't shine anymore.

I wrote a letter. The paper was blue as my dreams and the pen was black as my real life. I put the letter inside an envelop and wrote the words that had cost me my happiness to know. "Taichi Kamyia".

I sat on my bed. Everything was strangely quite. I couldn't hear the sound of the children playing on the streets. I couldn't hear the sound of their laughs of happiness and joy. I couldn't hear the birds singing or the wind whispering unknown words of a distant pass and unexpected future to the trees. I could only hear my heart bumping.

I wiped my tears to the back of my hand. The pain was just too much to handle. I couldn't stand it. I stared at the ceiling. It was beautiful, it was all beautiful, except for my life. I cursed the day I met the green eyed boy. I cursed the day that those chocolate brown eyes had stolen my heart and completely taken my soul. It was only my body that wasn't his. Not because I didn't want him to have that part of me too, but because I was too weak and too stupid to tell him.

I looked around me and then too my hands. It seemed all so unbelievable, so unreal. I picked the sharp object at my side. I was over. I allowed my self to lay on the bed. A red fluid dropped heavily on the carpet. I winced as the metal met my other arm, but this was nothing compared to the pain inside of me, but soon, it will all be over.

I closed my eyes as I felt my blood dropping taking away my hateful life. As I was loosing my conscious my mind drifted away to places too well known by me, bring back memories that I had tried to bury. I could no longer have good memories. I allowed as the pain of un unsolved past entered me in a dying moment. Soon it will all be over.

I felt like hours had passed, but only took me seconds to destroy myself. I felt my brain blacking out. I could almost hear foot steps on the hallway. I smiled as the image of an angel was the last thing I saw. "Aishiteru Taichi."

----------------

Well, did you enjoyed? I hope so. I'm so happy today cause I got lots of reviews and that means that people are actually reading my fan fic and want to give their opinion. Well, I know you don't ant Sora to dye, but this was what I've planned all along. Now I don't really know what to do, I'm confused. Anyway, sorry I was so late to update and thanks for reviewing.

Oh, one last warning. This is not the final chapter okay?