Digimon Fan Fiction ❯ No Wings To Fly ❯ 10. Still Dreaming ( Chapter 11 )

10. Still Dreaming

I was sitting on a bench. It was a bright sunny day. I was waiting. I didn't know for who, but I was waiting. The birds were singing in the trees and cats and dogs passed by me running happy. Everything in that moment gave me a freedom sensation and happiness unimaginable.

And I just sat there. The sun made his way through the skies till it was sun setting. I watched with a smile on my face as his flames reflected in the ocean. It was all so quite. For moments I just wanted to be there for all eternity.

I could feel the sweet ocean breeze caressing my face and my hair waving to its sound. I was alone but I was happy. I was very happy. Until the last flames disappeared from the horizon. Then my spirit became darker. The birds stop singing. There was a death silence. The happiness faded away as the darkness covered my heart, body and soul.

But I kept waiting. I waited and waited and waited. I waited for what it seemed eternities. Then a sound from behind me made me look. There was a person there. It was covered by the shadows. My heart started beating fast. Un fearless I stood up and walked towards the person.

The sky suddenly became lighter. I look above me and saw the moon. The queen of the night had returned to light my way. I turned my attention to the stranger again. I could see his shape. It was a boy. As the moon made her way to the top of the sky his features became more visible.

I could see his eyes. His chocolate brown eyes. There was no pain on them only worrying. There was no rage or anger, only compassion and understanding.

I took a step forward but he kept still. The moon was in her top now, but I couldn't see him totally. Only his eyes. But I wanted to see him. It was for him that I was waiting. For his love that he was ready to give me that moment.

I started running but though he didn't move I could never reach him. I yelled his name but still couldn't reach him. I kept running and running until I tripped and fell to the ground. His eyes kept his feelings and started to cry.

I stood up and ran again. I didn't want him to cry. I didn't want him to be sad. It was my entire fault, all my fault. Then he disappeared. The moon and the ocean disappeared and left me in the emptiness and darkness. Then I started falling. I can remember quite well the feeling of fall, fall eternally. Fall into the deepest darkness and loneliness.

I opened my eyes. Was that a dream? I could see two bright points but nothing else. Have died and go to heaven? No, that was impossible after all my sins. My vision started clearing and I could distinguish a lamp above me. I closed and opened my eyes to see better. It looked like an hospital. Yeah, it was an hospital.

I tried to sit but I couldn't. In fact I could hardly move, not that I couldn't, but I was restrained. My hands were tied to the bed as my feet. I lifted my head slightly so I could see. There was someone sitting on a chair next to the window. It was dark outside.

"Taichi?!" I murmured. My voice came all weird, hoarse. He lifted his eyes from the magazine he was reading. He looked at me and a smile was sketched in his face.

"You're awake." He said. He stood up and put down the magazine. He approached my bed and sat. "Do you feel better?" he said. Better? Well that depends of what he calls better since I was tied to the bed like I was crazy or something.

"I'm going to call the doctors to come and see you." He exited the room living me alone with my thoughts. I'd been dreaming. I tried to remember how the hell I had been going there. But I couldn't.

I was interrupted as a doctor entered the room. It was a blond woman. "Are you feeling better now Sora?" she asked. There was no hint of feelings in her voice, just deep professionalism. I could even dare to say that she hated me and all the persons like me. You know, people who drug themselves. Taichi was right behind her, but there was someone with him. Mimi. The pink girl was here too. I wished they weren't. I didn't want my friends to see me like that.

"Why am I tied up?" I asked. The doctor looked at Taichi and then again to me. "You were very aggressive and tried to hit you're friends and some nurses so we tied you." She replied. Only then I noticed a major wound on Taichi's forehead along with some bruises on his arms.

"But I see you're better now, so I'll give permission to your friends to untied you." She said still with the same rough tone. Then she left. Taichi and Mimi started untying me. When they were finish I sat on the bed. I didn't know what to say or what to do.

"Sorry." I finally replied to Taichi. He smiled and shook his head. Mimi was on the other side of the bed. I looked at her. Her eyes were red. Once again I tried to remember what had happened. But I couldn't. I couldn't remember beating Taichi and the doctors and I couldn't remember how I get there.

"How… how did I… get here?" I asked. My friends changed sad looks and then Mimi left crying. "I'm sorry but I can't remember anything." I said.

"No, it's okay." Taichi said. His voice made me tremble. I felt like I hadn't heard his voice since ever. "You got an overdose and… Kay …brought you here."

My head started searching. I remembered a door slamming and Kay completely drunk picking something in his drawer.

"But, I don't remember beating you. How long have I been here?" I asked. Taichi sighed. I wanted to cry. He seemed so sad and distant. It was just like my dream. "You've been here for almost a week. You woke up several times but you kept beating everyone up so they tied you and gave you an anaesthetic."

I heard it all, but I couldn't believe. A week? And I couldn't remember. Damn it. Somehow I knew I hadn't drug myself. I wanted to ask questions but his voice, his sad, empty voice. I couldn't bear hearing it again.

"Are you angry, Tai?" I mumbled. He sighed again. Yeah, deep inside he was furious with me. I knew it. "No, of course not, Sor. It's just that…" Sor? My mind drifted again. "But now, you'll never leave me. Not if we have something to connect us. I'm sorry, Sor. I didn't want it to be this way." I remembered Kay's voice saying those words.

Taichi kept there for a while but he didn't reply my question. I knew he was angry. He was furious. I wanted to dye in that moment. I'll had done anything to see him happy again. Anything.

Later that evening, Taichi went home, and so did Mimi. I was left alone in the hospital bed, just like in my dream. I tried to sleep but I couldn't so I asked a nurse to give me a pill. After two hours I felt asleep. A quite sleep without nightmares.

The next day all the gang came to visit me. Hikari was the first followed by Takeru. They had happy faces and were always planning things that we could do after I got out of the hospital. "You can go for a huge ice-cream and to a fun park…" Hikari said. "Just don't leave us, okay?".

I had a lot of fun with Koushiro and Jyou that came after Hikari. Jyou held a book and Koushiro had his computer. He started showing me things he had found on the internet. As for Jyou he sat by my side with the funniest face ever talking about a book he had read. None of them talked about my life or my mistakes and I guess that that helped me a lot.

Then Mimi, Yamato and Taichi came to visit me. Mimi was obviously much better now, but I still could see her red worried eyes. They looked at me like I was going to jump to them like a crazy person or starting to cut myself. They chose their words while talking to me and that was really starting to annoy me. Only Taichi remained silent. His eyes staring blankly at somewhere.

I still couldn't remember quite what had happened and every time I tried, I had a huge head ache. Then someone knocked on the door. Taichi went to open it. A boy came in, a boy with green eyes, Kay. Something in my spirit told me to get him away from me.

As he stepped towards the bed, I started shaking; my entire body started shaking without an apparent reason. Mimi and the others headed for the door, but I managed to grab Taichi's arm before he got out of reach. Mimi and Yamato exited, leaving me, Kay and Taichi.

The green eyed approach and sat on the bed. "I leave you two alone." Taichi said without a feeling in his voice. "No." I replied and push his arm making him sit in the chair next to the bed. He eyed me with a confused look, but not Kay. He obviously knew something that I couldn't remember.

Kay leaned on me to kiss me but I turned. He sat again. My body was covered by the blanket, but in a feeling of protection, I pulled it closer to me, gathering my knees to my chest and covering me, till only my head and fingers were visible.

Taichi eyed me still in confusion. Once again I tried to remember what my mind was blocking away from me. But I couldn't and that was really driving me crazy. I was so afraid of Kay and I didn't know why. I knew he was my boyfriend but why was I afraid of him?

"I'm sorry, Sor." Kay said and he put his hand on my knees. Suddenly my mind raced. It was like watching parts of movies. "I'm sorry, Sor. But you gave me no chance. Do you know what you said that night, Sor?" "Kay, please don't."

All came into my mind. All that I had forgot about. That cursed night that I wished it had never happened. I shook his hand off of my knees and tried to get as far as possible from him. "Get away?!" I said. I think the suddenness of my memory return made me kind of crazy in that moment. I started screaming for him to get away, and to get is hands off of me.

But he didn't leave. I started crying. That was when Taichi acknowledged that something was wrong. He went to Kay and asked him to leave. They stared at each other for a while. I could see hate sparking out of both those eyes. They hated each other, and it was because of me, it was my entire fault.

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Liked it? Hope so. Sorry I had taken a bit longer than usual. Once again I warn you that this is almost over, and I don't think I'm going to put a happy ending. I guess more two chapters will do.

Thanks for reviewing. OH, and Kawaii-Q, yes I'm going to make that suicide part. Was the way it started, is going to be the way it will finish. But I'm open to suggestions.