Digimon Fan Fiction ❯ Say the Same ❯ The Tertiary Apportionment ( Chapter 3 )

----*--*----*--*--*----*--*--*----*--*--*----*--*--*----*--*--*-- --*--*--*----*--*--*----*--*--*----

 

Say the Same

The Tertiary Apportionment

 

“Ah, ah…yes…yes…NOOOO!”

 

Taichi suddenly screamed, scaring Koushiro so badly that he nearly flew out of his seat. Nearly, because there was a desk in front of him after all, and he could only go so far before his knees had a crushing encounter with the underside of said desk. This time, he didn't bother to turn around to see what Tai was shouting about. He already knew.

 

“Arrgh, that was clearly a foul, you buffoon! Idiot!”

 

“Tai!” Koushiro whined. “Would you stop doing that? My knees are all red.”

 

“Huh? Stop what?”

 

“Your outbursts!”

 

Taichi grumbled. “Agumon would—*aw, what the hell was that!?*—uh…he'd understand, and when he gets—*yes! Go, go!*—er…oh, yeah, when he gets back for a visit, I'll be sure to inform him of your behavior…*NOOO!*”

 

“I'm quite sure,” Koushiro said, rolling his eyes as he rubbed at his sore knees. Honestly, Koushiro didn't know what was worse, letting Taichi watch his foreign affairs programs, or soccer. Either way resulted in lot of shouting, but only soccer got Taichi jumping off the couch…and Koushiro jumping into his desk. The former, Koushiro had actually gotten used to. Kind of. A little. One of these days…

 

“Aw, c'mon,” Taichi was muttering.

 

**It's the same thing again,** Koushiro thought.

 

Inside, Koushiro laughed even as he thought it. The “same thing again?” When had this sort of thing become normal for him? Regardless, he could hear the sounds of the game and Taichi's additional, and often times colorful, side-commentary over the sounds of his typing. Having finished his re-coding the night before, Koushiro was now going through his tri-annual reprogramming. While he waiting for a new program to download and install, he looked over Miyako's camera. It really was a neat camera, and even though Koushiro had never had an interest in filming, he wanted one.

 

Behind him, Taichi was flipping back and forth between the game and some sort of press conference.

 

“I don't see how you can stand watching either of those,” Koushiro said aloud then, and Taichi turned his head to look at Koushiro.

 

In truth, Taichi was surprised to hear Koushiro say something to him. He had been coming over to Koushiro's house for quite some time now, and though he spent anywhere from twenty minutes to hours at a time at the Izumi household, the conversations had been largely one-sided…Taichi's side. Even now, though Koushiro was speaking to him, he wasn't looking directly at Taichi, focusing instead on the small video camera in his lap. Taichi took in his small figure. Koushiro's computer chair was up as high as it could go in order for him to be able to reach the keyboard, and like that, Koushiro's feet couldn't rest completely on the ground.

 

Taichi smiled. “I dunno, I've always like soccer, and this other stuff just lately. It's really weird, I never used to like watching anything about politics or whatever before. Just one day, I suddenly understood what they were all talking about, and it made it more…I dunno, interesting to watch. And the more I watched, the more I liked, I guess…” Koushiro made a soft sound of acknowledgement, but he didn't look up. “Hey, `Shiro,” Taichi added, “do you known what you want to do after high school?”

 

Ah, this got Koushiro to look at him, but it wasn't what Taichi was expecting. Though he should have. With his computer reprogramming practically on its own behind him and a top of the line video camera in his lap, Koushiro paused to turn and give Taichi his best “Are you stupid?” stare.

 

“Ah, right, of course,” Tai said as he blushed.

 

“Well, y'know,” pressed on after Koushiro went back to the video camera. “I'd really like to be an ambassador. And not only for countries in our own world, but in the Digital World, too. Wouldn't that be awesome?”

 

Koushiro looked up at Taichi again. “Really?”

 

Taichi grinned. “Yeah! I think it's a good idea to bring the two worlds together. I mean, some people here in Japan know about the two worlds, and they're not Digidestined, so why not everyone else? It could be good for our world, to see such a peaceful place. It may inspire the human race to give up all the bad stuff, y'know?”

 

Koushiro didn't reply but he stared at Taichi as if he had grown another head. In truth, Koushiro was rather impressed by Taichi's depth, no matter how inarticulately he expressed it. Furthermore, if Taichi exposed the Digital World to the Real World, then Koushiro would be able to continue his research. He could probably set up a massive project! A whole company dedicated to the cause!

 

On the other side of Koushiro's unwavering gaze, Taichi began feeling nervous, certain he'd just said something incredibly stupid.

 

“But hey,” Taichi began again, a certain desperation beginning to creep into him, “I found this really neat college that I can get my first degree at. I'm hoping to go into the Foreign Affairs department. They have a program that deals with the United Nations, but I heard it's kinda tough to get into. But that's okay, I'm real excited about it, everyone I talked to said it was an awesome school to go to.”

 

**Who is `everyone?'** Koushiro wondered. **Not people I know right?**

 

“I'll be able to start right away,” Taichi was still saying, “so I won't have much of a break after the commencement ceremony, but at least I'll still be able to work, since the new school doesn't have any rules against students working. So I'll have to find…”

 

But by this time, Koushiro wasn't listening any longer. **That's it, then,** he was thinking. **It's final now, Taichi will be leaving everyone…and me. He's leaving ME.** Koushiro blinked. How did this happen? How could he have let this happen?

 

It was because he let Taichi…in. He let Taichi become important to him, very important, but Taichi didn't feel the same way. At least not to the same degree. He remembered this. Koushiro remembered the lesson he had learned in such a hard way, and that Tentomon had tried so hard, and succeeded, in pushing away.

 

You are not supposed to let people get too close because they will leave you one day.

 

They will leave you behind.

 

For a moment, Koushiro's heart and mind battled. In the past, Koushiro had always relied on his mind. He was after all, a genius, and that was not boasting. He was smart, he knew he was, and therefore, he always made the right decisions. Right? But now, he had foolishly allowed his heart to take matters into its (metaphoric) hands, and look what's happened now! Taichi was about to set sail for the horizons, and Koushiro was left to mourn the loss.

 

Always left behind with only Ardie for support and waiting for someone to find him.

 

**What now, idiot heart?** Koushiro asked.

 

For a moment, Koushiro's heart and mind battled. Heart reminding Koushiro of all the good times, mind fighting back with all the consequences…his mind reminding Koushiro that Taichi was leaving, heart desperate that he understand Taichi was here, now…

 

And then, mind struck with a finality that his heart could not contest. Then or now, good or bad, Taichi wouldn't even be there with him if it wasn't for the fact that his home was close to Taichi's work. A sort of horror filtered through Koushiro, and heart silent and mind broken, he began making all sorts of wild deductions.

 

Was he then merely a friend of convenience? Like a marriage of convenience? Taichi only just barely *tolerated* his company for a small amount of time after school because it benefited him? Could be. They didn't have classes together, and even though they had lunch together, Taichi did work with his soccer coach, and if Koushiro didn't just spend the period alone, he could be found with Ken, but not with Taichi. Never with Taichi. Should never have been with Taichi.

 

And what if he *had* spent all that time with Taichi. How much worse would he be feeling now? If he got any closer to Taichi, the pain of their separation would be even worse. He couldn't do that.

 

“'Shiro? Koushiro?”

 

At that moment, Koushiro felt a hand under his chin lifting his face up. Taichi was staring down at him, a bit of worry on his face.

 

“Are you okay? Did you zone out or something?”

 

Koushiro jerked back so that Taichi was no longer touching him. “Um…yeah,” he said in a breathy voice as if he hadn't been breathing.

 

Taichi didn't touch him again, but he also didn't move away. Somewhere along (Taichi wasn't really sure, he never was very quick on the uptake), Taichi realized that Koushiro wasn't listening anymore. And not only that, but Koushiro wasn't even looking at Miyako's video camera. He seemed to be staring off into space, but even if Taichi couldn't tell *when* it had began, he could tell that whatever Koushiro was thinking about wasn't just anything. The younger boy had a sort of pinched look to his expression, as if it were something painful.

 

Taichi had stood up from his seat and had been standing in front of Koushiro for a long while, and still Koushiro never looked up at him. Finally, Taichi had reached out to him, and now Koushiro was reacting the way a small animal would when confronted with something frightening. Taichi didn't know if he wanted to laugh or cry.

 

“Koushiro,” Taichi began, but he didn't get much further than that.

 

“You should go now.”

 

Taichi glanced at the clock on Koushiro's wall. “But it's not even four yet—”

 

“You don't want to be late again,” Koushiro said breezily, hastily turning back to his computer. He placed Miyako's camera on his desk and began typing. “That's not good for future references, you know…”

 

“Koushiro, is something—”

 

“Hurry or you'll be late,” Koushiro cut in tensely as several programs began to open on his computer screen.

 

Taichi raised an eyebrow. **Okay, something is definitely up with Koushiro,** he thought, **and I ain't goin' nowhere until I figure out what it is.** With this in mind, Taichi reached out and spun Koushiro's chair around until the smaller boy was forced to look at him.

 

“Koushiro,” Taichi said firmly. “I know something's the matter—”

 

“There's nothing—”

 

“Don't lie!” Taichi said, feeling himself becoming irritated. “Tell me what it is, I'm your friend and I'm worried—”

 

“I don't need your worry!” Koushiro suddenly shouted. To hear the strong words from his long-time friend caused Taichi no end of surprise. Stunned, Taichi stood straight and stumbled back a few steps. “I don't need your worry,” Koushiro continued, apparently on fire and rolling with it, “because nothing is wrong! You may be my friend, but I don't need such an overbearing friend! You—you shouldn't come over here so often if all you're going to do is hover over me. In fact, don't come over anymore at all! Get out!”

 

Taichi had frozen in his spot. It took phenomenal effort to force breath through his vocal chords. “Wait—”

 

“Get out, get out, get out!” Koushiro said, very well aware of the fact that his voice sounded like a child's and not caring. Very well of the fact that he was acting like a child and not caring. Very well aware of the fact that Taichi looked hurt and not…

 

Standing up, Koushiro used all his strength to push Taichi out the door and slam it closed. For a moment, there was silence, and then the sounds of Taichi's retreating footsteps, fading softly into nothingness echoed in the stifled house. Slowly, Koushiro backed away from the doorway until he hit his computer chair. Mechanically, he sat down in the chair and turned to face his computer screen, but his eyes, wide from shock, saw nothing.

 

**It's for the best, it's for the best,** he reminded himself.

 

**But is it what you want?** his heart softly asked, as if afraid Koushiro would break under the pressure of such a heavy question.

 

Again, Koushiro's heart and mind battled. And this time, heart prevailed. Even if a computer crashes, you can always replace it, but it wasn't so with people, Koushiro knew this now. You can't just get newer and better models of people, but it wouldn't matter if he could. Because Koushiro realized now, more than anything else, that he didn't want anyone other than Taichi Yagami.

 

Jumping off of his seat, Koushiro dashed for the door. Flinging it open, Koushiro took one step outside…

 

…and crashed right into Taichi.

 

----*--*----*--*--*----*--*--*----*--*--*----*--*--*----*--*--*-- --*--*--*----*--*--*----*--*--*----

 

Please join us for The Quaternary Apportionment!

 

----*--*----*--*--*----*--*--*----*--*--*----*--*--*----*--*--*-- --*--*--*----*--*--*----*--*--*----