Digimon Fan Fiction ❯ Somewhere in Between ❯ If My Mind Would Just Stop Racing ( Chapter 2 )

A/N: Well, Its not quite as long as the last chapter, but that mostly due to there being less dialogue and no page-long dream sequence. One major thing to note about this chapter is the change in POV. This is a Yamaki chapter. Not quite as exciting as Li, maybe, but a lot more twisted, and hard as that might be to fathom. Yamaki might be a little OOC in this, but I'm not really sure. Also, I set his age at 35, since I don't recall him having a real age in the show. And if he's 35 here, that would make him 27 in the show, which seems about right to me. He was supposed to be pretty young, after all. Anyways, things get a lot more, well, weird from this point. I warn you now, so if anyone is offended by anything that happens from this point on, well, you had the chance to turn back.

Oh, and Yamaki and Reiko live together for the purposes of this story. ^__^ I don't think that should bother anyone, though.

Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon. I really hope you were smart enough to know that before I said it...

--------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------- < p class="MsoNormal">Somewhere in Between

Chapter 2

The kids thinks I did it. It wouldn't have been such a big deal to me, I don't think, if those words didn't bring back memories I'd rather not be reminded of. And as much as I would have liked to ponder the subject, and maybe wallow in cluelessness, it was very clear that I didn't have time to. Even when I was alone on the train, distractions followed. This time the distraction came in the form of the beeping of my phone. I had no choice but to answer when I saw who it was.

"Moshi mo-"

I was cut off by her calm, yet somehow irrational words. "Don't even think about being casual, Yamaki."

I hung my head, regardless of the fact that I was speaking to her over the phone. "Reiko, I swear, I have no idea what is going on."

"Oh, I'm sure you don't," she sounded more than a little sarcastic.

"I don't," I was being honest, but I knew she wasn't buying it.

"Oh, yeah, one more thing," she paused for a moment, like she was trying to find something. "I was collecting the trash from the bathroom this morning, and I found something..interesting.."

"Interesting?" I bit my lip. I couldn't remember throwing anything strange away recently.

"A prescription bottle," she said curtly. "A very new bottle, barely touched."

I contemplated this. It wasn't something I remembered throwing away. But..it was vaguely familiar, like something from a dream. "Okay..a prescription bottle?"

"With your name on it," she seemed almost..worried. But the worry was lost in her combined curiosity and anger. "Tell me, who would throw your drugs away besides you?"

"I..I don't know," I knew this should mean something to me, but I couldn't figure out what.

"Well then can you tell me why they were in the trash?"

"If I don't know who put them there, how the hell do you expect me to know why?"

"Ohh...I don't know," I could almost hear her biting her lip over the phone. "I just..can we finish this when you get home?"

"Yeah, sure," I almost felt myself fall away from the reality of everything that was happening. "I'll see you then."

"Bye, Yamaki." Click.

"Yeah bye," I said to the dial tone. I clicked my phone off and put it away. I wondered what kind of prescription it was, since she hadn't mentioned it. I decided she must not have known herself, since that would have most likely affected the mood of the conversation.

When I got home, she was sitting on the couch, arms crossed with an displeased look on her face. Her expression became even more troubled when she saw me come in.

"I'm..home," I gulped a little and walked into the room.

"I can see that," she stared at me evenly, unfolded her arms, and revealed the bottle she had been hiding in them. Before I could say anything, she flung the bottle at me.

"Ah-" I looked at the bottle. "This is.."

She raised an eyebrow. "This is..?"

"Its..well, its not important," I was lying, and I could tell she knew it.

"I'm sure," she sent me an unconvinced look. "Can you at least tell me what the prescription is for?"

"I..well, I guess," I tore my eyes away from the bottle, and walked over to the couch, sitting down heavily next to her. "Its for..depression."

"Depression?"

"Uhm," I looked at her, feeling a little embarrassed. I hadn't wanted her to know about this. "Yeah.."

"Hmm," she looked thoughtful for a moment, then turned to look at me. "Well, that's not such a strange thing, I suppose."

"Although I still can't think of how it could have found its way into the trash," I tried to remember the last time I had had it out. I realized I had missed two days worth of doses, and I had no idea how. The more I tried to remember, the less there seemed to be to remember. I found that I couldn't remember anything about waking up that morning, or the two days preceding it. I realized then that Reiko was looking at me, probably wondering where I had drifted off to.

"Can you remember anything?"

"No..I can't. I can't remember one damned thing," I didn't look at her. I had a feeling the look in my eyes at that moment might scare her a little. "Its..probably nothing, so can we just..forget this happened?"

"I..suppose," she looked uncertain, but agreed anyways. "No real harm was done, I guess."

I nodded. She stood up uneasily, and turned to face me. "I'm going out now..I'll see you later."

"Okay," I watched her leave, then went back to trying to make sense out of the events of the past few days. I had this sickening feeling that the reason my pills ended up where they had was somehow linked to what had happened to that kid. I tried again and again to remember the past few mornings to no avail. And the more I thought about it, the more it seemed like those mornings just..hadn't happened. That was a scary thought, but what scared me even more was that I knew it had happened before. I'd be one place, blink, and find myself somewhere else, sometimes I even found myself in places I didn't recognize. I stopped trying to remember the mornings, and instead tried to remember where I had been the night the kid was raped. I couldn't remember anything, except finding myself in a place I didn't remember going to. A place way too close to where the kid had be raped to be a simple coincidence. That brought the realization I had been dreading to mind.

I did it. I broke his arm, raped him, nearly killed him, and I didn't even remember doing it.

And I still had no idea what the hell was going on, what or why these things were happening to me, or even how. I knew something wasn't right, something beyond simple depression like the shrink had said, but what? What was going on inside my head that I wasn't aware of? And, worse yet, what might it cause me to do next?

I'm thirty-five, I remember thinking. Shouldn't I have a batter hold on my own sanity by now?