Digimon Fan Fiction ❯ The affair ❯ Memories ( Chapter 4 )

*yaoi, don't like don't look*

 

Setting: At Taichi's house and a while after part 2

Title: Memories

By Yamimylove

 

Yamato looked down at Taichi's now waiting form.

"I'm ready." He said. Yamato didn't see the need to answer. It was now Taichi's turn and he wanted Taichi to remember this as one of their best times.

"Yama, start already." Taichi said, raising his hips off the bed to draw Yamato's attention.

"You don't like being teased, do you?" Taichi nodded his head.

"Do you think that after you teased me to the point of whimpering that I will not do the same to you?"

"Yamato."

"Oh, don't worry. I'm not that cruel." With one quick motion he rolled Taichi around on all fours and quickly pushed his way in the tight, prepared anus, catching Taichi off guard. The whole body stiffened at the intrusion and Yamato loved this feel so he pushed in more and more until he was completely immersed inside. He wanted to hear a response to what he was doing and waited for it: a scream, a whimper, or a moan. He needed to continue badly. He was blazing, on fire and needed so badly to release himself at once. Being confined to such a small area and not moving or doing anything was almost too much for him to bear. But soon he got his response, a shriek, and trembling skin. Only then did he feel it time to begin, holding fast to the hips as he slid in and out the body. The shrieks became louder, more urgent as he sped up his pace, and he couldn't help but moan as the area tightened again, practically sucking him in more. Taichi began stroking himself as well in anticipation for the climax that he felt coming so soon yet too far away. He needed to reach it or he would surely die of frustration.

"Don't touch yourself." Yamato said as he removed Taichi's hand. "Let me do it for you."

He had no control over this situation any longer. He didn't care that Yamato was riding him furiously in steady rhythm, and that it was going to hurt like hell later. He only needed Yamato to continue and knew that only he could make him feel this way. A silent scream filled his lips and the muscle clasped down onto Yamato firmly. Only then did Yamato allow himself release as well, letting it leave him as he pushed in one last time and collapsed. Exhausted.

"I love the way you feel." Yamato whispered in Taichi's ear before he nibbled on the tender lobe and kissed it.

"I … I know." Taichi responded. He was feeling weak, like he was drunk and had no control over anything anymore. He suddenly moaned as Yamato withdrew himself from the still firm grip. He was almost sad to see Yamato part with him so soon. He wanted Yamato to pleasure him again before he became too tired to do it later. Instead, Yamato left him to dispose of the condom. He was rolled over on his back and felt a soft material passing over his stomach and between his legs. It was a towel, but he was too tired to realize what it was.

"That was incredible." He said incoherently as he yawned and stretched his back. He knew for a fact that he'd fall asleep any minute.

"I know it was. You're always incredible to me." Taichi giggled at this thought and rolled over on his side. He wanted to see Yamato face-to-face.

"I'm tired."

"Of course. You were just with me, weren't you?"

"Don't be arrogant. You already know you're the perfect lover." He nuzzled against Yamato's chest as he was so used to doing. It always felt comfortable and safe, especially when he was tired and exhausted like this. An arm was wrapped around him and he felt warm lips covering the area of his neck.

"Cold," he babbled under his breath. Yamato couldn't understand how he could be cold after such intense activity, but he listened and covered Taichi and himself up with a nearby sheet. They would have to clean up later since Taichi was too tired to do it now.

"I love doing this with you," Taichi said. He was too tired to realize that he was talking because he was half-awake and half-asleep. "Make love to me once more, Yama." He was rewarded with a small kiss to his lips.

 

"How about tomorrow or later if you've got the energy." Taichi shook his head in disapproval.

"Do something now." He said sleepily and yawned again.

"Like this." Yamato whispered as he moved his hand between the legs. But Taichi was too tired to enjoy the delicate caresses and fell asleep within a few short moments.

"Sleep well." Yamato said as he gave Taichi another kiss and removed his hand. "I'll make love to you tomorrow."

I'll make love to you tomorrow, he thought. Love was such a touchy word and he had never thought of their 'encounters' over the last three months along the terms of love. He had always seen them as a way for them both to get what they needed without any consequences… towards each other that is. Why would Taichi go ahead and say 'Make love to me once more' when there was no love involved in their relationship?

"You confuse me." He said under his breath. Taichi stirred a bit but did not wake up. He realized the answer to his question just then. Taichi was too tired and drunk on his orgasm to now what he was saying or doing. But don't tired people do and say exactly what was on their minds? Why would Taichi continue to have a relationship with him, especially of this kind, if he was still feeling the old feelings? Had he the same feelings as well?

This was something that didn't want to think about at all. So he ignored such thoughts and admired Taichi instead.

He had always loved staring at Taichi after being intimate with him. Taichi always tired out easily after being made love to, just like he was now.

"So perfect." He whispered under his breath as he ran his fingers through the brown, messy hair. He leaned in to take in the reminiscent scent of something like sweat masked with shampoo. His eyes traveled lower to the muscular chest. He watched it rise and fall with each breath taken. He remembered. He… they had spent so many nights together and he would spend the next morning admiring his lover's sleeping form. The musk scent alone was enough to bring back such memories: morning kisses, morning breakfast, cuddling while watching a movie. Those times were fun and meant a lot, but why did they have to end?

-------

They were about fifteen or sixteen and at Yamato's house watching a movie one night. It was cold, brisk in the room and there was no heat because the radiator was broken. His father was in the other room sleeping and unaware of what the two were doing in the living room though they were only watching a movie and eating popcorn under a blanket.

"Stop touching my foot. Yours are too cold." Yamato said as he took more popcorn out of the bowl and devoured it.

"I can't help myself. You know that."

"You're going to have to. I want to finish watching this movie and I can't if you're bothering me."

"I'm sorry." Taichi said as he wrapped his arm around Yamato more, practically squeezing the life out of him.

"Tai~chi. Cut it out." Yamato used all his might to get away from the smothering arm. He sighed and rested his head in Taichi's lap, hoping to get peace if he watched the movie from there instead. But Taichi took advantage and ran his fingers through the fine hair.

"I love you." Taichi whispered.

"I know you do. I love you too."

"I love being with you and making you happy." Yamato sat up to listen to what Taichi said. He could always sense when he was about to get angry or serious for that matter.

"Taichi, what's wrong?" He took the remote from Taichi's hand and stopped the movie. If Taichi was getting that serious about something, it had to be bothering him. He wanted to know what it was so he could help Taichi and possibly make him feel better. He took Taichi's hands in his.

"Tell me what's wrong. I want you to feel better."

"But nothing's wrong, Yama. I couldn't feel any better than I am right now. I'm with you, aren't I?"

"Of course you are. I just haven't seen you this serious in a long time."

"Ahh, Yama. I love you to death and I can't get enough of you."

"Taichi," he responded as he planted kisses to the hands in his. " You're starting to scare me. What's wrong?"

"Nothing. It's just… it's just the way you make me feel. I want us to be together."

"We are."

"No."

"No?"

"No, I mean forever. I want to wake up in your arms every morning and kiss your sweet lips. I *can't* live with out this… these little shows of affection. It's just you that I need, nothing more. We belong together. We both know this. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Yamato, …."

He stopped when he noticed the look on Yamato's face. The boy looked as if he had just seen or heard something bad. The eyes were just about bulging out of their sockets and his mouth was open, agape. Taichi didn't know what to make of such an expression. He had just shared with Yamato his personal feelings about him and their relationship. He had practically proposed to him and all he got for his efforts were bulging eyes. He bowed his head, ashamed that he had probably spoken too much, too soon.

"Say something." He whispered under his breath.

But Yamato was confused and all sorts of thought plagued his mind. Of course he loved Taichi. Why else would he tell Taichi that he loved him if it was meaningless? Taichi was his world, his everything. But the thought of living with him for the rest of his life was something he had never thought of before. Did Taichi actually want him to think about such a long-lasting commitment right then and there? They were both young, too young, to be thinking about living together for the rest of their lives and committing to no one but each other. He would need more time to adjust to such a thought and he knew that after thinking about it and getting used to the idea, he would want to commit to Taichi completely. But he needed his space and time. Taichi would smother him if their relationship got that serious so soon.

"Please, say anything," Taichi said after realizing that Yamato was taking too long to answer him.

"I… I'm thinking."

"Thinking?"

"Yes." Taichi stood up, pushing the blanket down till it landed on the floor. He had expected more from Yamato. He figured that Yamato cherished their relationship as much as he did. If he had to think about it for that long and still not say anything meaningful, that meant he didn't all along and their relationship meant nothing. He picked up his bag that was resting on the floor and headed for the door, leaving Yamato sitting there, staring at him questioningly.

"Where are you going?" Taichi didn't answer him. He didn't look back either. He just left without saying a word.

Yamato thought that Taichi needed a moment for himself and left for only a minute. He started crying an hour later when he realized exactly what had happened and he felt foolish for realizing it too late. Taichi was not coming back.

I'm such an idiot, he thought. I'm thinking? How could he say something like that to the person who had given him everything he owned: mind, body, and soul?

 

He knew he had to fix this. He threw on a jacket and headed outside without telling his father that he was going. He didn't bother to take the elevator and practically flew down the stairs. Before he even knew where he was, he was outside the Yagami's apartment door pounding away furiously for Taichi to come out.

"Taichi," he called out. There was no answer. "Taichi, I know you're in there!" This time his efforts were rewarded with the opening of the door and the deathly glare of Mrs. Yagami.

"He doesn't want to speak to anyone right now. Go back home and try again tomorrow." This signified the beginning of "Trying again tomorrow's" that were never answered. Yamato wanted to tell Taichi that he was sorry for being so blunt, that he needed a bit of time before he could commit so soon.

 

He called Taichi the next day. Taichi didn't want to speak to him. He tried going over to his home, but he miraculously disappeared whenever Yamato dropped by. After a week of this childish behavior, he realized that he should not have acted the way he did when Taichi opened up to him. He should have realized that Taichi was truly speaking from his heart. He had ruined the moment by acting the way he did. He knew that he would not have been ready even if he had acted differently, but he couldn't help but feel that things would have turned out in a different way had he acted more proper and open. On the other hand, it was rather rude of Taichi to avoid him and act so childishly, but he was hurting and humiliated.

It wasn't until a week later that he finally got the opportunity to see Taichi. Coincidentally, he was walking home from school that just happened to be in the path of the park. It was somewhat crowded since people usually went there during Christmas to skate and enjoy the holidays. He and Taichi had gone there every year to skate and enjoy themselves. This year was different and thinking about Taichi made his heart heavy, reminiscent of the old times.

But on this day, he saw something that he didn't want to see at all. Why did he have to walk that way home on that day? Why couldn't he have just taken the back way or maybe even a bus? There was no taking back what he saw and when he saw it, he wanted to die. He belonged to Taichi and Taichi belonged to him, and when he him skating with another guy, he had had it. His first thought was that Taichi had found someone new already and he was nothing to Taichi now.

He ran home as fast as he could for fear of having anyone seeing him so upset. And when he got home, he flung himself on his bed and cried himself to sleep.

Little did he know that Taichi was simply taking an advanced skating lesson as they had always given them for free each year around Christmas. He didn't know that Taichi was still heartbroken about what had happened between them and couldn't think about finding someone new yet. And when Taichi called him a few days later to talk and hopefully sort things out, it was Yamato who didn't want to answer.

He had never gotten over the fact that things could have turned out differently had he responded in the right manner and taken the right steps. Maybe having this sort of sexual relationship with Taichi was a way for him to make amends with the past and sort things out with Taichi. Why else would he loose interest in his wife so early in their relationship? Soon after loosing Taichi he had taken a liking to her. They had dated off and on every now and then over the year and even dated other people. Years later they married though he still had not gotten over how things ended with Taichi. Even though they had become good friends again, he still couldn't forget. He tried to do so and move on, but eventually his feelings surfaced and he needed Taichi again.

Everything would go wrong with his marriage because he knew that he and Sora were not meant to be. But if it was one thing that he would never ever regret, it was having Tezuka and Katsuhiro. He would always love those boys and never regret having them.

He began to think about them, Tezuka and Katsuhiro. They were close, as close as he was to Takeru at that age. He knew that they were going to have to be separated. This would have happened anyway.

Eventually he and Sora would have had it with each other and divorced. This was already starting to happen even before he and Taichi started seeing each other again. They couldn't live together without arguing over sex and the way their relationship was going, almost every day. His true feelings were starting to surface no matter how hard he tried to hide them. He couldn't hide his feelings and became frustrated that things were not right.

Before his own parents had gotten divorced, they argued constantly because they were trying to stay together so the kids could be happy and have a normal family. They did only the opposite by staying together. He was damaged during that time and couldn't help but think that they fought because of him and that was why they divorced, because he was born, a mistake. It was actually because they had grown apart and became so different from when they first married. He couldn't help but feel what he felt anyway and still harvested those feelings.

He was sad that his parents decided to not let him see his younger brother, but they shared a special relationship that prevailed no matter what.

It was a losing situation and he didn't want to put his boys through what his own parents had put him through. He didn't want them to feel guilty that the reason their parents were fighting was because of them. He knew first hand that this was the worse feeling a child could feel

~~~~~~*~~~~~~~

Feeling the salty liquid on his lips, he slid off the bed and threw on some shorts that he figured were Taichi's. He went into the bathroom to fix his face up. He didn't want Taichi to see him crying. Opening a cabinet, he pulled out the Visine and applied it to his eyes. He washed the tears off his cheeks and fixed his messy hair a bit. He looked in the mirror and noticed that he looked a bit better, as if he was not crying at all.

I'll make love to you tomorrow, he said out loud. He had been making love to Taichi all along. It only took him three months to figure it out.

"Why are you in here?" He turned around and saw Taichi in the doorway, looking sleepily at him.

"I just needed to wash my face." Taichi walked over to him and looked down at his shorts.

"Why do you wear those? You know there's no need for them." Taichi was still tired and only came in the bathroom to see what Yamato was doing. He rested his head on Yamato's shoulder to keep himself up or else he would surely fall out of exhaustion. He also wanted Yamato to touch him like he always did: play with his hair, stoke his fingers. He smiled when he got exactly what he wanted along with a kiss on his forehead.