Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction / Fan Fiction ❯ Beginning ❯ Training ( Chapter 6 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

A/N: Wow, so many reviews! Sorry guys for the long wait, but this chapter was terribly hard to write. I couldn't even put a lot of angst in it because too much angst would ruin the whole thing (you can only have that much angst without dulling to its effects). It is more like a filler (a necessary filler, mind you!), and this is the first chapter I didn't already have previously typed in. So far, I've always had at least a rough draft of my chapters, but now I have to start from scratch with each new chapter. Please bear with me, I am working real hard on this story, but I also have many tests coming up within the next few weeks, so I don't know how fast I can update. --------------------------------

Training

Slowly, my thoughts are drifting towards the surface of my consciousness as I am gradually emerging from the depths of the dreamless slumber I have been caught in. Shaking off the clammy remnants of a dream already forgotten, I open my eyes that are glued shut and tiredly sit up. The room is still the same one I fell asleep in, and the brown couch I have been resting on is very comfortable.

Only the Ueisutodamupu-jin is here, he is floating in one corner in a lotus position, glowing slightly and dying the whole room in a cold and iridescent white light. His hovering figure looks so hauntingly familiar; and his tall features with the completely focused expression that is turned inwards are concentrated to the utmost extent.

"So you are awake? It's about time."

I am startled by the sudden gruff voice of the Ueisutodamupu-jin, who has been meditating just a moment ago. But now, he is straightening his long blue limbs and stands up to his full height of well over 7 feet. Although he is incredibly tall, his slender and fragile-looking frame make him seem frail and breakable rather than intimidating.

"I told you once before: don't let yourself be deceived by my fragile appearance, I am quite a formidable warrior."

But I know that he couldn't, and more importantly, wouldn't hurt me; I feel as if I could trust him completely, the same feeling I had with General Marduku before. I am safe with him.

"That is something we have to talk about. I don't know how you managed it, but you have wormed your way into General Marduku's heart, although he would never admit to it. He has left you here so that we can work on your mental and physical abilities, and you need to learn more about your reflexes. You don't want to be surprised by yourself in battle. And last but not least, I will have to get through that barrier in your head to free your other personality; otherwise you will never be accepted by the Saiya-jin."

Fear clamps down on me within an instant, choking my throat and stopping my breathing. No, don't make me remember, I don't want to know what is behind the wall that is keeping my other self away from me. I don't want it, the other one only promises pain and agony, it is dangerous to my mental health - and to the health of other people around me...

As if sensing my distress, which he probably does with his mind reading abilities, the Ueisutodamupu-jin hastily reassures me.

"But that part, we will save for later when you have been mentally stabilized and feel as if you can take the risk. For now, you need a name, I can't always call you 'child' or 'boy'. Do you have any suggestions?"

A name? For me? That's right, I don't remember mine at the moment. It is shut off behind the invincible barrier. Strangely, I don't miss it at all, I never think of myself with my name. What I do miss are memories about a childhood, a life, parents. They are all blocked by that wall, and that makes me feel uneasy. I have no place where I belong to, I have no family, and I have no past. I feel strangely uprooted, unknowing, utterly helpless. But that is eons better than having the retreat opened; the shadows I can sense lurking behind the wall are overwhelmingly dark and strong, they would completely annihilate me.

Slamming the lid down on those oppressive thoughts, I turn my attention back to the question. What name? Hesitantly, I ask:

"Could you please make some suggestions which names would fit into this society?"

He is clearly amused, his small lips are twitching upwards at the corners, and his crimson eyes lose their hardness for a moment. Then, he is listing some.

"Seresu, Zupah, Jitsengu, Hattai, Chaduran, Zuroku, Hakizu, Bardoku, Putouruka,..."

Those names sound really strange, and I have to pull myself together to not start laughing aloud. Though one special name has caught my interest. Bardoku. I know that I have heard that one before, but where?

Was it my name?

No, I don't think so, it doesn't roll off my tongue that easily, but it still sounds familiar. It is really annoying having so many feelings of familiar things but never being able to actually identify one. Could it be the name of one of my relatives or friends? An important person on whatever planet I have come from?

Interrupting the flood of different names, I insert:

"Then I would like to be called Bardoku."

He only nods, accepting my choice of name which is probably as good as any other.

"You can call me Rabishu. We are going to start with your physical training and reflexes at first; then afterwards, we are going to work on your mental capability. Wait here."

His light blue frame which is clad in scarlet robes abruptly vanishes through the door and leaves me alone with the rising sun. Why exactly does he want to train me? From all I have been able to gather so far, Saiya-jin are not friendly people, and still he is going to help me to control my reflexes. Even more so, he wants to train my mental and physical capacities. I just don't get it. What makes me so special that at first General Marduku, then another Saiya-jin, and then a Ueisutodamupu-jin want to help and protect me?

A few minutes later, Rabishu-sama reenters the room, now clad in a black and formfitting spandex like mine, but without the hole for the tail. I am glad that he has shed the red robes, because they made me feel uneasy and gave me a dark scent of foreboding. With a short gesture, he motions me to follow him, and soon, we are in front of the registration office again, moving deeper into the infinite maze of the white-washed town.

On the way to our destination, we stop for a small snack at one of the many market stands that are scattered all over the town. The market here is not as busy as the one in the other town, but still all the different smells and sights behold so much new for my curiosity that I could explore the streets forever. Rabishu-sama is guiding me patiently and he is paying attention so that he doesn't loose me in the maze between all the spiky-haired Saiya-jin.

He is leading me through countless bustling streets and alleys to an especially tall building which stands out by having neither windows nor a roof. The walls are at least fifty feet high and very solidly built, stretching for blocks on end. Guiding me inside through a tiny door which I have previously overlooked, he explains the purpose and the different parts of the building to me. It is a very advanced training center which every being on the planet is allowed to use to strengthen their mind and their body. There are countless sparring rooms, many showers, some meditation chambers, an obstacle course, and a healing room with three regen-tanks.

Rabishu-sama is heading towards one of the empty sparring rooms which are marked by a green light besides the door, ignoring the stares people give us when we walk by. This whole city is a strange mixture of high technology like wired houses, micro chips, space travel, healing tanks; and medieval simplicity like brick buildings, no electric light, plastered streets and busy markets. Though I guess that they don't actually need the electric light because everybody here can control his ki enough to illuminate a room, and as everybody can fly, no transportation vehicles are needed, either.

The heavy iron door swishes open with a hissing sound when Rabishu-sama presses the green, glowing button. After ushering me into a big, dark room, I can hear the door slam closed with a loud clang, taking all the light away, leaving me in a black void.

Just when I start getting angst-ridden, Rabishu-sama is lighting several ki-balls and sends them to the corners of the room, dying it in a sickly pale green shine. I stand rather in the middle of an very dimly lit, enormous hall that is 300 by 300 yards big and at least fifteen feet high.

Looking around, I can spot several black burn marks on the metal walls and even some small dents in the hardened alloy. This room is probably used quite often, as the stench of old sweat and dried blood penetrates the air, making me almost gag. Not knowing what to do as I have no conscious knowledge of fighting, I just stand there limply, my hands hanging lifelessly by my sides.

Rabishu-sama senses the predicament I am in and comes at me with a slow punch. In fact, it is so slow that I don't even need to rely on my instincts to avoid it but simply step aside. Rabishu-sama has anticipated that move though, and he launches his other fist at me lightening fast. At the last possible instance, my left hand rushes up to deflect the blow, and we are beginning to dance through the room, me blocking, him attacking.

Slowly, I start recognizing patterns in which my limbs are moving to defend against blows and kicks from all angles. Swipe the arm away, catch the following fist to my stomach, block the leg, and simply sidestep the next assault. Duck under the high kick, deflect the punch aimed for my face, and evade the fist looking for my ribs. Not very hard, as the same instincts from the desert slow all movements to the point where I can easily see them and have no trouble whatsoever at keeping up. Those instincts are telling me a lot.

So far, Rabishu-sama has only been using approximately half of his strength, but now he is going all out. He flies a short distance away from me for the first time in our battle and prepares an energy attack. What must have happened within the fraction of a second seems boringly slow to me and my heightened senses. His left palm is facing me, his right hand is gripping his left wrist to stabilize the hand, which is starting to glow in a golden shine. The shine is focusing a few inches in front of the palm pointing towards me, and a small, radiant sphere is being formed. With a yell, he sends the yellow energy ball hurling in my direction, and to my surprise, I am not swatting it away like the one in the desert but rather catch it easily, holding it suspended in the air between my hands and taking care not to touch the surface.

I am fascinated by the swirling energy of the focused sphere, studying it, analyzing it to the best of my abilities. The energy ball has a unique ki signature which feels kind of like Rabishu, but weaker, maybe a tenth of Rabishu's power. It is made to detonate on impact, and it probably cannot be guided during the flight.

Suddenly, I can feel the energy destabilize and become volatile. I know that if I make one wrong movement, it would blow up into my face with a deadly potential from such close range. The light is not a homogenous golden sphere anymore, it is rather flickering and swelling, and I have to get away from it as fast as possible.

Not trusting in what my body is doing, I watch in horror as my hands start glowing a sizzling blue and clash together, smashing the energy ball. But instead of exploding into my face, the sphere blows up in the refined space enclosed by my hands. To my surprise, I only feel a slight tingling, more like an electric shock than anything else, and my hands aren't burnt either. I try to get rid of the energy coating my fingers, but nothing happens, they are still glowing a faint blue and tingling, and occasionally a spark is jumping from one finger to the next.

I am so absorbed in my futile attempts to shake off the energy that I don't realize that the Ueisutodamupu-jin is sneaking up behind me, preparing a sneaky surprise attack. Suddenly, my body is whirling around on its own accord, and before I even have time to think about what is happening, one of my charged hands is making contact with Rabishu-sama's forehead, immediately releasing all energy into him.

My fingers stop glowing the same moment he is flung backwards several yards and smacks against the wall, sliding down slowly, not moving any more. In an instant, I am at his side, fearfully checking if he is still alive. With a sigh of relief, I realize that he is only knocked out and his rather high ki tells me that he is not seriously injured.

Is he going to punish me for my uncalled reaction? I didn't exactly mean to hurt him, but that is no excuse. I should have had more self control than to knock him out. I can be glad that I didn't kill him.

Shuddering, I turn away from those thoughts. Rabishu-sama will probably wake up within a few minutes and it won't help to mope around; if he is going to punish me, I will accept it because I deserve it, but now I can't do anything, so I retreat to the center of the sparring room, trying to remember as many techniques as I can.

But my mind is so empty, I hardly remember how to block, and that small bit only because I have been practicing it together with Rabishu-sama, who is still lying motionlessly on the floor. My reflexes are so terribly fast, I will have to learn how to control them, otherwise I could seriously hurt somebody who doesn't deserve it. Just like I have hurt Rabishu-sama.

Angry and displeased with myself, I extend a fist as if to punch an unseen opponent, laying my full trust into my instincts to keep me from hurting myself or making a mistake. At first, it feels really awkward punching into thin air like a madman, but my body is gradually remembering what my mind does not remember, and it is dancing, turning, twisting in intricate patterns. After a while, I recognize moves which are being repeated, and I only have to consciously perform a certain kick or punch for the pattern to be recalled. I still don't know how exactly those patterns are going to effect an opponent, but at least I am getting some insight into which moves my body can perform and how much stamina I have.

-----<<<<<>>>>>-----

Groaning, Rabishu shook his head to get rid of the ringing in his ears. That had really been an interesting attack the brat had pulled; he hadn't known that Saiya-jin were able to electrically charge their fists. He had heard of the technique before, but had never actually seen anybody perform it. Luckily, the chibi had not put a lot of power behind it, so Rabishu was just knocked out instead of having his brain fried. Still, he had one heck of a bad headache.

Hearing whooshing sounds and feeling the shockwaves of somebody powerful training, he decided to open his eyes, only to see nobody. The whole room was empty, but he could still hear a presence. It was probably just moving too fast for him to spot, but that was quite a feat considering that his eyes could follow speeds of people approximately ten times more powerful than him. Finally reaching out with his senses, he almost choked on the waves of a huge ki that had peaked at considerably more than 5000 for a split second. No wonder that he didn't see whomever was training in here, the person was far too fast for him. Only Elites had such a power, but why would an Elite train in a room occupied by a third-class Ueisutodamupu-jin?

Just then, the ki plummeted down to rest at 1000, and Bardoku appeared in front of him out of thin air. That had been Bardoku? He clearly was the only Saiya-jin in this room, and Rabishu's senses usually were correct, so the eleven year old youngster had a maximum power level of 5000. Where the hell did Bardoku get that much power from, that was impossibly high. Prince Vegeta was the only eleven year old on the planet with a power of more than 2000, and that was considerably more than most first-class had. Heck, even the king's ki-level was not much higher than 8000, so perhaps all of that had been a fluke. The smiling boy in front of him could never have such a high power level.

"Hey, you are awake! Did I hurt you badly?"

The guilt that lay thickly on the kid's trembling voice made him perk up and concerned him deeply. That was definitely not good, no fighter apologized for hurting somebody. He would have to snap the boy out of his misplaced guilt trip as soon as possible, otherwise the chibi would always have a serious disadvantage when waging a battle. Roughly, he chided Bardoku.

"You are a warrior, and warriors have to hurt other people in order to win a fight, so you can't feel guilty after every punch. Got that?"

The boy just stared at him with clear evidence on his features that the wheels in his mind were frantically turning. Many emotions played on his youthful face that was marred by some deep scars. What kind of twisted personality was able to hurt a small child so badly that it would forever bear countless crisscrossing marks? Finally, the boy submissively cast his soft black eyes downwards and mumbled:

"Hai, Rabishu-sama."

Not wanting to think about Bardoku's desolate expression, he started attacking without any forewarning. After throwing some hard punches and jabs, he realized that none of them had made contact. The boy just evaded his blows with apparent ease, not even raising a hand to block, and Rabishu got frustrated, shouting at Bardoku:

"What did I just tell you? You have to fight back, you can't always run away!"

Growling menacingly, Rabishu powered up completely and let a merciless hail of blows and kicks rain down on Bardoku. The boy still wasn't fighting back, but at least he was blocking with amazing strength. Always trying to find a hole in the chibi's tight defenses, he was surprised when the boy suddenly left his whole left side wide open.

Not missing the opportunity, Rabishu wanted to throw a wicked left hook towards the unguarded spot - only to find out that the presumably defenseless opening had been a mere setup. The boy was suddenly grabbing his wrist millimeters before it would have made contact, and Bardoku let himself fall backwards, planting his feet right in Rabishu's stomach.

Bardoku seemed to be at least as astonished about his sudden attack as Rabishu, but Rabishu didn't want to give him time to think about what he had done, and attacked even more furiously. Slowly, the boy became a more active participant in the fight; at first reluctantly, but getting more and more involved as his Saiyan blood began to sing in the ancient war hymn that had already been driving each one of his ancestors dating back to the very first Saiya-jin of Vegeta-sei.

The boy had an amazing style he had never seen before. Part of it was the Saiyan strength and roughness, but the greatest part was utterly alien to Rabishu who prided himself on knowing more attacks than almost anybody else on this planet. Barduku was performing some very refined and cunning katas which counted a lot on swiftness and agility, but he also had some very powerful punches and kicks which could destroy mountains in store. It looked like the combination of the best elements of several different styles, and that kind of diversity at such a young age was truly remarkable.

So far, the boy hadn't been using ki except for flying, hovering, and that one charge of his hands; but that was not necessary, as it was apparent that the boy was by far the stronger fighter, and his complex moves rivaled the level of techniques the Ueisutodamupu-jin was using.

After almost an hour, Rabishu was starting to feel winded, and the boy's accurate hits were affecting him more and more; whereas his opponent wasn't even breathing harder or starting to sweat. An especially powerful punch caught him in the ribs and the following dropkick almost cracked one of his bones. All air was forced out of his lungs by that vicious blow, and he momentarily lost control over his ki which was holding him suspended in the air about twelve feet high. He plummeted down towards the floor like a comet streaking through the sky and connected with a loud thud, face first. Before he even had time to think about getting up again though, the boy was already sitting on his back, straddling his waist, securing his arms behind his back, and smirking gleefully:

"You lost!"

Shaking his head in disbelieve, Rabishu struggled for a while but never made any progress. But when he was completely depleted of his remaining strength, he finally had to accept his defeat. An instant after his submission, the weight on his back vanished and Rabishu slowly got up, massaging his arms where bruises were starting to for from the tight hold Bardoku had had them in. Studying the happy boy who was still full of energy, he shook his head yet again. Then, he headed for the exit of the sparring room, calling over his shoulder.

"Yes, you are much stronger than me. Now we are going to see how well you are going to fare at the obstacle course where you should learn some more about your reflexes and which should pose a little bit more of a challenge to you."

The child trotted faithfully behind him through some dark, secluded hallways into a truly gigantic hall which had no roof and was brightly lighted by the sun. It was at least 20 times as big as the sparring room they had been in, and the kid's eyes were full of awe when they appeared right in the middle. A huge oval of more than 300 yards in diameter and 500 yards in length was lined on both sides by clear walls that were shooting random energy rays on the track. Excitedly, Bardoku ran to the transparent walls and started watching fighters dart more or less skillfully through the course.

Smiling to himself, Rabishu put one hand on the child's shoulder and steered him towards the line that was forming at the entry. They had to wait for a few minutes, then it was their turn. When the Ueisutodamupu-jin demanded eight laps for Bardoku, the supervisor looked at him strangely as even adult warriors hardly demanded more than five laps; but nevertheless, he scanned the child's chip without complain and Rabishu let Bardoku in. Immediately, the boy was surrounded by blasts, but he easily dodged each and every one of them, proceeding very fast.

Rabishu just retreated to the middle and watched the child through the clear plastic walls. The scanning of the chip was a necessary measure of precaution in case a warrior got hurt so badly that he couldn't make his way to the exit again. Then, a program would be activated to hinder the lasers from firing on the fallen fighter and the supervisor could go in and get the person to the next regen-tank; but the boy didn't need such safety precautions as he was obviously above the level of the obstacle course.

That child certainly was an interesting phenomena, Bardoku was now on his seventh lap and had yet to be hit. Rabishu was quite sure that that was a new record, but to top it off, the child was not even panting very hard and dodging every energy ray with plenty of time to spare. The strangest thing was that his ki seemed not to dwindle, his power-level remained at a constant 1000. Now, for the eighth round, Bardoku even closed his eyes, relying completely on his ki-sensing ability and his other senses. Still, he wasn't hit.

By now, countless astonished Saiya-jin were lining the walls of the obstacle course, all watching the strange boy who was completing it with closed eyes and a smile on his face without getting hit by any of the rapidly firing lasers. Hushed murmurs were passing around at how such a young child could have such a level of strength and skill, and some were even suggesting that the boy might become the next Super Saiya-jin.

Rabishu decided that it was enough physical training for today, so he quickly spiked his ki to see if he could get the attention of the boy. Surely enough, Bardoku turned in his direction, and Rabishu waved his hand, signaling for the boy to come here. A blast was approaching from behind the boy's back while he still was facing Rabishu, but Bardoku swiveled around so fast that you couldn't see the movement at all and deflected the energy with ease. The chibi seemed to have gotten the message as he quickly exited the course and landed in front of Rabishu. Together, they quietly walked out of the room, leaving some thoroughly surprised Saiya-jin behind.

-----<<<<<>>>>>-----

Why were all those Saiya-jin they looking at me so strangely? Have they never seen anyone fly the obstacle course before? And why were they whispering amongst themselves? Did they think I couldn't hear them talking about some strange thing like Super Saiya-jin? I am not one of those, am I?

Pondering those questions, I silently follow Rabishu-sama to one of the meditation chambers where the floor is covered with a soft, white rug that feels very comfortable. We both settle down on the ground in the lotus position and face each other. He is giving me no instructions, so I think he just wants to see what I am going to do. I can't recall ever having meditated before, but that doesn't say anything; after all, I didn't remember how to fight, either. I guess, I will just have to try.

Not knowing how to start, I focus on my steady breathing.

Breathe in.

And out.

And in.

And out.

Slowly, I am sinking deeper; the air flowing rhythmically in and out of my lungs is filling the whole world with a steady, soothing rushing. Together with the sound of my heart beat and the blood streaming through my veins, it combines to the harmony of my body. This strange music doesn't distract me though, it rather makes me more aware of everything that is going on around me. I feel as if I was part of everything, knowing even the smallest life forms.

Focusing more on them, I can distinguish all the different life forces, which appear to me like a steady glow from each of them. Some are glowing brighter, some are not so bright, and one that shines like a sun is sitting directly in front of me. My instincts tell me that that is the ki of Rabishu-sama.

Carefully, I reach out and touch his bright light. Where my 'hand' makes contact with the surprisingly hard, glowing surface, the light dims a little bit and takes on a reddish hue, but nothing else happens. Suddenly, a pleasant voice starts talking in my mind, which has to be Rabishu-sama by default.'Very well done. Now, before you try getting into my brain again, try to shield your own thoughts like I have shielded mine.'

I study the glowing surface in front of me. So that is only a shield. Looking back at my mental image, I can immediately spot the difference. While Rabishu-sama's exterior is a completely symmetric, hard, and a steadily glowing sphere, my mind is pulsing, changing, and flickering like a fire. And just like an uncontrolled fire, it can become a danger to myself and everybody else.

Gathering my concentration, I draw the flames around me and start binding them, building a hard brick wall around the fire so that it can't escape again. It is a very strenuous activity, because just when I think I have finished my task, another hole which I thought I had already mended suddenly pops up in another place. But finally, I have shielded my thoughts, and the dangerous flames are confined behind the wall.

Looking at my accomplishment, I am surprised that I can't see my mental image any more, I just know that it has to be there. It seems that my brick wall not only shields my thoughts but also hides my glow which stands for my ki. That could be of infinite value in battle because I still feel as if I could access it.

Turning back towards Rabishu-sama, I touch his mind again. I am thoroughly surprised that this time I cannot feel any resistance from his shield. My 'hand' is passing straight through, and soon I can see the flame that represents his thoughts. Reaching out, I make contact with him.'Is that better?'

The flame shrinks away from me and I can feel a deep confusion emanating from the fire. I have to smile.'Don't worry, I have only hidden myself so that I don't broadcast anything. What am I supposed to do now?'

Slowly, the flame is approaching me again and licking at my foreign essence, but not burning me. After wondering for a while, I realize that Rabishu-sama is trying to communicate with me, but I am blocking him completely. Sheepishly, I open a tiny slit in my defenses, and now I can understand him.'Not bad. That will be enough for today, though. Return to your body and keep the shield up.'

Retreating behind my brick wall, I can hear the soft rushing again. After concentrating on it for a while, I can feel the breathing in and the breathing out, my slow and steady heart beat, the blood flowing through my veins; and gradually, the rest of my body is returning.

I feel as if I had just returned from a place deep under the ocean, and I try to treasure the serene and peaceful emotions. Then, after checking if the brick wall is still in place, I open my eyes to find Rabishu-sama studying me intently. Seeing that I am back, he only nods and gets up.

Wincing a little bit over my stiff knees, I follow him outside. Just how long have I been meditating? When we had exited the obstacle course, the pale blue sun had been high over our heads, but now it is almost touching the horizon. And as if that wasn't proof enough of the passing time, my stomach decides to start complaining, demanding something edible.

We are silently walking back to the registration office, lost in our thoughts, not caring about the few people that are still on the streets, only stopping to get some peculiar vegetables and some unidentifiable meat on the way home at a small stand that is still opened.

Arriving at his apartment over the registration office, Rabishu-sama is cooking a big meal that sates both of our appetites, then he tells me that I can sleep in the room with the brown couch again if I want to. I nod and take the thin blanket he is handing me, thanking him gratefully.

Trotting to the registration room that is now my sleeping room, I realize that I am not tired yet at all, but nevertheless, I go to bed immediately. Lying with open eyes on the couch, I think about everything I have 'learned' today.

I am a trained warrior, that much is obvious, and apparently I am much stronger than anybody else. I don't think I have even used a small fraction of my ki today, but everybody already thinks me powerful. How in the world did I gain so much energy; judging by what they have said it should be impossible. Is it part of the reason why I had to lock my mind away behind that impenetrable barrier? Is it part of the reason for the pain and the hurt behind the barrier?

Eventually, many hours into the night, I am fed up with my thoughts turning round and round, and I repeat the breathing exercise, but not to the point where my focus would turn completely inwards. Within a few minutes later, I am calmed down enough, and my thoughts have stopped their mad spiraling. In no time the velvet blackness of sleep is creeping over me and snuffs out my consciousness like a candle despite my halfhearted resistance, throwing me into a restless, dark void filled with fitful dreams.

A/N: I know, this chapter isn't that great, it has little to no angst, and I suppose it is plainly boring. But I still wouldn't mind if you could review, I desperately need some inspiration for the next chapter.