Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction / Fullmetal Alchemist Fan Fiction ❯ Alchemy and Saiyans ❯ Spastic Rants and Torture Plots ( Chapter 8 )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

Summary: A mysterious stranger takes Edward Elric and deposits him in the DBZ world.

Disclaimer: (after school, in the library: it walks alone, BritKit, and SailorKMoonie are sitting at a table)

it walks alone: *scribbles madly on a piece of paper*

SailorKMoonie: *tries to sneak look*

*THWACK*

SKM: T.T

BritKit: *rolls eyes*

IWA: *goes back to scribbling*

BK: *in very very VERY quiet whisper* You should have expected that.

SKM: Shaddap.

BK: *evil grin*

BK: *leans over to SKM* *in normal voice* Soo... Whachya readin?

Librarian: Shhh!

BK & SKM: o.o Meep

BK: *in impossible to hear whisper* Why are we here again?

SKM: *in equally quiet whisper* Do you know a better place?

BK: *thinks* ...No.

SKM: Well, that explains it.

BK: Our school sucks.

SKM: Mm-hmm...

BK: It's falling apart.

SKM: Mm-hmm...

BK: Do you like it here?

SKM: Mm-hmm...

BK: -.-

BK: ...Can I have your cell phone?

SKM: Mm-hmm... Waitasecond, BRITKIT!!

BK: ^.^

SKM: *evil glare* Rrrrrg...

Librarian: *glare* Hush!

BK & SKM: *ignore*

BK: Alright you said I could have your cell phone, hand it over.

SKM: Heck no. You tricked me!!

Librarian: Girls!

BK: Did not.

SKM: Did too.

BK: Did not!

SKM: *stands * Did too!

Librarian: *louder this time* Girls!!

BK: Did not did not did not!!

SKM: Did too did too did TOO!

Librarian: GIRLS!

BK & SKM: O.O Meep

Librarian: Honestly! Yelling in the library! How old are you two? Six?

IWA: Yup.

BK & SKM: *glare at IWA*

Librarian: What are you two doing, anyways?

BK: *very perky all of a sudden* Plotting to take over the world!

SKM: *hits BK with book* No we're not!!

*librarian leaves*

SKM: ...>.>

SKM: <.<

SKM: *spreads maps on table, over IWA's writing* So we'll attack Australia from THIS direction...

IWA: *notices she's writing on world domination maps, not her story paper* Oi!

BK & SKM: *look up*

IWA: If you two don't mind, couldyoupleasegetyourmapsoffmystory!

BK & SKM: O.O Mweep

IWA: Not that I have anything against world domination...

BK: *mutters* I should hope not, you're helping.

IWA: But I DON'T think we should be plotting in the GODS-DAMNED SCHOOL LIBRARY!!

Everyone in room: *staaare*

SKM: ...Er, right. *grabs stuff* We'll be going now.

BK: Nice meeting you!

IWA: And I don't own FMA or DBZ and never will.

*all dash away*

Librarian: ...What on earth?

A/N: Anywho! I'm really sorry about not updating any of my fics in so long... I promise, I'll try to update sooner. Say, about a week in between? Reviews help. *puppy eyes*

“Speaking” Thoughts (Me to you) “Telephone or other such communication device”

Last time:

Then, Mirai, being the scientist he is, had an idea.

“Hey. I just had an idea. This might be taking advantage of Al's condition, but... Since he doesn't have a living body, why don't we send him through to our world?”

Chapter 8: Spastic Rants and Torture Plots

There was a pause as everyone absorbed this. Then, hell broke loose in the form of Edward Elric.

“OH HELL NO! YOU ARE NOT PUTTING MY BROTHER THROUGH THAT CONTRAPTION OF YOURS!”

“Would he even fit on my desk?” Colonel Mustang mused.

Everyone turned to look at Mustang's desk, which was broken down the middle with a very dazed Havoc leaning against it. Mustang seemed to remember something, and stood up and leaned over his trashed desk to look down at Havoc.

“By the way, Lieutenant, what was so important that you had to come barreling into my office and make a crater of my desk?”

The poor Second Lieutenant Havoc blinked up at him for a few moments as he processed the question. Then he bolted upright and nearly shouted, “Colonel! You're late for your meeting! It starts in...” He glanced at his watch. “10 minutes and it's on the other side of the building!”

Mustang stared at him for a minute, then cursed loudly and ran out of the room.

Al turned to the Colonel's mutilated desk. “He left his coat.”

Sure enough, Mustang's coat was hanging on the back of said Colonel's chair.

Al then turned back to his older brother. “Nii-san. About my going between worlds...”

“NO! ABSOLUTELY NOT! IT'S TOO RISKY! I WON'T ALLOW IT!” Ed spazzed.

“But nii-san, I want to.”

There was a pause.

“What?” Ed asked, dazed.

“Nii-san, I want to try it. I know it'll be risky, but we have to try. I want to be useful, and this seems to be the only way I can.”

Bulma, looking between the two brothers, decided evacuation was in order. “I think this would be a good time to finish Frying Panning Vegeta. Anyone who wants to watch can come.”

Mirai and Gohan stared at her strangely. Then comprehension dawned and they nodded eagerly.

Bulma grabbed Vegeta by the hair and shoved him out of the room, followed by Mirai and Gohan.

Riza looked around. “And we should be at the Colonel's meeting,” she admonished, and proceeded to drag a still-dizzy Second Lieutenant Havoc toward the door. The other military people followed her out.

00000000000000000000000000000000

Ed and Al were still watching each other.

“Al... Y—you really think you're not useful?”

“Not really. Not usually. But now...”

Ed bowed his head. “Yeah...”

“Psst! Hey, Ed!”

Ed's head came up and he turned to the door. “Trunks? Didn't Bulma ground you from here?” he asked, going over and opening the door, revealing the two chibis.

“Well, yeah, but we're not in there, are we?”

Ed sighed and shook his head. “Okay, then, why are you here?”

Trunks held up something in his hand that Al couldn't see.

More whispering ensued.

About a minute later, (after a conversation that Al couldn't hear) Ed blinked. “Actually...”

“Someone's coming!” Goten warned.

“Hurry! Take it!” Trunks whispered, thrusting the something he was holding into Ed's hands.

“Hey. Brats. There you are,” Gohan's voice said. “You know you're not allowed in there.”

“But we wanted to tell Ed something,” Trunks said.

“Well, are you done?”

“Yep!”

“Good. Get going. Bulma wants to talk to you,” Gohan informed the two chibis.

Once said chibis were out of earshot, Ed turned to Gohan. “Why are they grounded, again?”

“They sent a bowl of soggy Cheerios through.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I think it landed on someone's head.”

“Whose?”

“I dunno. Probably someone important.”

“Oh really...” Despite not being able to see his brother's face, Al could see the evil grin plastered across his features.

“Nii-san...”

“See you, Ed.”

“See you, Gohan.”

Gohan left, following the way the chibis had gone.

“Nii-san, if you wanted to know about the Cereal Incident, you could have asked me.”

“I think I'd rather ask Mustang himself,” Ed replied, smirking. “Say, Al, could you put this in Mustang's coat pocket before you give it to him?”

“Put what, nii-san?”

“What I'm sending you.”

There was the obligatory hum and flash of light.

Al picked up the small device.

“What is it, nii-san?”

“Hopefully something that will allow us to move our inter-universe connection.”

“Oh. But why Colonel Mustang?”

“Well, it's either his coat or his office.”

“But...”

“At least this way he can leave his coat somewhere and have private conversations in his office.”

“But...”

“I'll let you go through, Al.”

“...Alright. But I don't like it.”

“You don't have to. Just put it in his coat and give it to him.”

“...Okay, nii-san.”

Al put the small device in one of Mustang's empty pockets, took the coat, and was halfway out the door when Ed called him back.

“Oh! Hey, Al?”

“What is it now, nii-san?”

“Don't tell him, okay?”

“Why not?”

“I want it to be a surprise.”

“Oh... Alright, nii-san, I won't tell him.”

“Thanks. Now get.”

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Whee! Typed! Sorry about the short chapter, but I think the disclaimer makes up for it! And unlike the previous disclaimers, this one is not based on a true story. By the way, cookies to anyone who can guess (and tell me in a review) what Ed's going to do to the poor Colonel. Please leave me a review on your way out.