Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction / Fullmetal Alchemist Fan Fiction ❯ Alchemy and Saiyans ❯ Why we Don't Make Riza Mad ( Chapter 9 )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

Summary: A mysterious stranger takes Edward Elric and deposits him in the DBZ world.

Disclaimer: *BritKit and it walks alone are sitting at a cafeteria table*

BritKit: *munch*

it walks alone: *puppy eyes*

BK: No.

IWA: @.@

BK: No.

IWA: *sniffles and does more puppy eyes*

BK: Arg... *snatches food away* No! My lunch!

IWA: *whimper*

BK: Bad puppy! NO! MY FOOD! *runs away*

IWA: T.T <-- *forgot lunch*

BK: *hides*

IWA: Well, I guess I better do the disclaimer. I do not own DBZ. I do not own FMA. I also do not own any food right now. *sniffles* *pulls out hat* Feed the authoress! Feed the authoress!

*someone drops bag of crackers in hat*

IWA: FOOD! *pounces* *munchcrunchswallow* ...I'm still hungry...

A/N: Sorry about not updating on Saturday (I meant to! Really! *cowers*), but I got sick, so I really couldn't stay upright for very long. I hope to be able to go to school tomorrow, though. I don't want to make up anything more than I absolutely have to. *shudders* I hate make-up work. And being sick.

“Speaking” Thoughts (Me to you) “Telephone or other such communication device”

Last time:

“Oh... Alright, nii-san, I won't tell him.”

“Thanks. Now get.”

Chapter 9: Why we Don't Make RizaMad

Mustang was just about to open the door to the meeting room when he heard Al calling him.

“Colonel! You forgot your coat!”

“Thanks, Al,” said Colonel replied, taking the coat and shrugging it on. “By the time I'd noticed, I didn't have time to go back and get it.” That said, he opened the door and walked in, followed by the others.

“I'll wait here, Colonel,” Al supplied, staying outside the room. Mustang acknowledged with a nod.

Fuhrer Bradley turned. “You're late, Colonel.”

“I'm sorry, sir. It won't happen again.”

“Good.”

One of the bigwigs in the room stood up and opened the meeting with the typical “This meeting was called to discuss...” speech, and ended with calling on another to deliver his report.

After a few such reports, it was Mustang's turn. He stood up and announced, “The major occurrence that I have to report is that one of my state alchemists has disappeared.”

Fuhrer Bradley looked up sharply. “Disappeared?”

The Colonel nodded. “Yes. We have reason to believe he is in another universe.”

“Oh? Why?”

“The military where he is has been marginalized for several years.”

“You have been in contact with him?”

“Yes. He—”

“So, Mustang, I have a question for you...”

The Colonel in question froze. He couldn't have...

“Colonel Mustang?” the Fuhrer asked sharply. “Who is that?”

“The missing alchemist—”

“...Gohan told me that Chibi Trunks and Goten sent a bowl of cereal through...”

Mustang's eyes widened. He couldn't have... Could he?

“If this is your missing alchemist, where is he?”

“...And I was just wondering where, exactly, it landed.”

He couldn't have found a way to change his communication point...

Meanwhile, everyone who came in with Mustang was trying to keep from laughing.

“Fullmetal, I swear—”

“Can't finish that, Mustang, if there's others around!”

He did. Dammit! thought the Colonel.

“Fullmetal? You mean the Fullmetal Alchemist?”

“Y-yes, Fuhrer.”

“So where didit land?”

Riza Hawkeye was the first one to actually start laughing. The others soon followed. Mustang turned and glared at them.

“Will you shut up if I tell you, Fullmetal?”

“Umm... Maybe.”

Mustang glared at the room in general. “It landed on my head, dammit!”

There was a pause as everyone in the room stared at Mustang. Then Ed burst out laughing.

“Hahahaha! Oh, man! That's hilarious!”

“Okay, Ed, I think you need to stop torturing the Colonel now.”

“Thank you, Bulma. And Frying Pan him for me, will you?”

“Umm... That'll hurt, Mustang,” Ed said, suddenly sobering.

“That IS the point, Fullmetal.”

“But that Frying Pan is Saiyanproof!”

“Saiyanproof?”

“Yup. I use it on my good-for-nothing, arrogant Saiyan Prince of a husband whenever he ticks me off.”

“Which happens quite frequently, seeing as how he blows up the GR at least once a week,” Ed chimed in.

“Uhh... I'm not going to ask.”

“Good idea. I've been stayingwith them, and I don't get it either.”

“Somehow, I'm not surprised,” Mustang remarked dryly.

“One question, Edward. What is a 'Saiyan'?” Riza asked, having recovered from her laughter.

“Uhh... I don't know, actually.”

“Saiyans are aliens,” Bulma supplied.

“Maybe we should hold this conversation at another time,” Mustang suggested. “I'm in a meeting.”

“Yeah, I know. That's why it was so funny...!”

*Clang!*

“Ow! Bulma!”

“I told you to stop torturing him!”

“Sorry, Bulma.”

“Good. Now come on. You're helping me fix the GR this time, whether you want to or not.”

“Yes, ma'am,” Ed muttered.

“Sounds like she's got you wrapped around her finger, Ed,” Hughes observed.

“Hell no. She just hasn't put her Frying Pan of Terror away yet.”

“I see.”

“Mr. Elric, perhaps you could end this conversation and leave us to hold our meeting in peace,” Fuhrer Bradley commanded.

“Yes, sir.”

“Good. Now, back to our previous subject, Colonel Mustang. How did he get into this other universe?”

“We don't know, sir. No one who was present at the time understood what was happening.”

“I see.”

And so the meeting continued.

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A few hours after the meeting, the Cereal Incident Crew had locked themselves into Colonel Mustang's office. Sergeant Brosh and Second Lieutenant Ross had been posted outside the door and were attempting to answer the questions about what's going on inside by random passersby while trying to answer that selfsame question themselves.

Someone (a random passerby) stopped outside of the Colonel's office. He looked at the door. “Uhh... I need to see Colonel Mustang...”

Second Lieutenant Maria Ross looked up at the nameless officer. “I'm sorry, sir, but I can't let you in.”

“Huh? Why? What's going on in there?”

The Second Lieutenant looked to Sergeant Brosh.

“Umm... Well, we haven't been able to figure that out,” he said. “We keep seeing flashes of light and hearing crashes from in there.” He perked up. “Hey, maybe they're taking pictures!”

Just then, there was a large, very bright flash of light and a HUGE crash.

“GODDAMMIT, THAT WAS A NEW DESK!” a VERY pissed off Colonel Mustang yelled.

All three outside turned to stare at the door in abject terror.

“Or maybe not,” Brosh gulped.

Suddenly, someone inside started laughing.

Just as suddenly, the laughter stopped.

Pause.

“I should run now, shouldn't I?” Havoc's voice asked.

“Yup,” Hughes' voice replied.

“Running.”

*WHAM!*

Suddenly, the doors to the Colonel's office slammed open, smashing the two hapless guards into the walls.

*VASHOOM!*

*BANG! Bangbangbangbangbang!*

“Havoc! Hold still, you god damned *censored*!”

“So you can shoot me? No way!” Havoc yelled back.

Hughes poked his head out into the hallway. “Riza certainly has quite a mouth on her, doesn't she?”

Armstrong peeked around the door as well. “I wonder where she learned it?”

Everyone turned to Mustang, who was sitting (with anger marks all over his head, by the way) behind a tipped-over refrigerator. His brand-new desk (which had been brought in during the meeting) was nowhere to be seen.

“I think I'll come back later...” the unfortunate random passerby in the hallway whimpered, then ran off as fast as his legs could take him.

Hughes turned to Major Armstrong. “Five bucks says Riza turns Havoc into Swiss cheese,” he said.

Armstrong shook his head. “I don't know, the Second Lieutenant can run pretty fast when he wants to.”

00000000000000000000000000000000

Meanwhile, on another floor, somewhere else in the building...

“GET BACK HERE!!”

“AIEEEEEEEEEEE!!”

*FWOOM!*

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Outside the Fuhrer's office:

“SAVE ME!!!”

*BANGBANGBANG!*

“HAVOC!”

*WHOOSH!*

The force of the vacuum left by Havoc and Riza blew the door open.

The Fuhrer looked up.

“Do I even want to know...?”

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Meanwhile, at Colonel Mustang's office...

Al looked at the doors to the Colonel's office, and pulled one away from the wall slightly. An unconscious Sergeant Brosh slumped to the ground with a 'thud'. Al stared at him for a minute, then at the wall the unfortunate soldier was shoved into. It was cracked and dented.

Just then, Colonel Mustang's voice rang out. “Can we get back to business, here? Namely, my DESK?!” he yelled, slamming his hands down on his desk... er, fridge.

Al poked his head in. “What's going... Is that a refrigerator?” he asked, flabbergasted. Everyone nodded.

“...I missed something, didn't I?”

Mustang just growled.

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In the DBZ world:

The two chibis were sitting in the door, seeing as how they weren't allowed in the room, with a huge tub of popcorn. Each.

Gohan finally noticed them and walked over. “You know you two aren't allowed in here...”

Trunks looked up at him. “But we're not actually IN the room... Want some popcorn?”

Gohan stared at him. “Sure,” he said, and grabbed a handful. He walked back past Vegeta to his spot next to Mirai and Bulma.

He tossed a piece of popcorn into the air with the full intent of catching it in his mouth and eating it. However, there was a blur, and it vanished. Gohan blinked, shrugged, and tossed another up. It, too, vanished. After four more, he started scowling. He tossed a few more, his scowl deepening. He followed the blur with his eyes as he tossed his last piece into the air and his gaze came to rest on Vegeta, who had a handful of popcorn and was munching contentedly, smirking.

Gohan rolled his eyes.

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Kind of a lame ending, I know. But it is funny, I mean Vegeta stealing popcorn from Gohan! Anywho, please leave me a review on your way out.