Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction / InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Wishing Well ❯ Lone Wolf ( Chapter 28 )

Wishing Well

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha. Even my shirt is on loan. Don't sue me.

Plead: Please review if you want this fic to continue! Even if it's a flame, I accept all comments with goodwill. Well, most comments at any rate.

Legend: "…" = speech

'…' = thought (usually)

She was free.

She was also close to dead.

She ignored the pain once more, pulling herself back into the painful light that was her life. Her body almost refused to listen to her. It was tired beyond all comprehension. Most anyone else would be dead. However, Kami apparently had other plans in store for her; and she wasn't so dumb as to turn down a second chance.

She maneuvered her unresponsive hands into claws, and dragged herself along the ground. Slowly, inch by agonizing inch, she moved forward. As she made progress, a twisted grimace of joy spread across her face.

She was free.

She was alive.

Kouga stood on his shrine, watching Ginta and Haggaku pay strict observance to him. His face was impassive as they said the words, but it wasn't a sign of disregard. Even dead, he could not stop his spirit from using the usual facial masks that always protected his emotions.

"Kouga, we miss you," Ginta murmured.

The gentle whisper shook him to the core. How could Ginta and Haggaku still affect him? He was dead! No one should be able to make him hurt with their words anymore!

"We know why you died. The wolf clans found your death honorable. You chose us a good leader when you tricked Inuyasha-sama and his friends into killing Nii and Souran. Stupid bloodthirsty raping bastards," Haggaku muttered angrily.

"Inuyasha-sama really is good, Kouga…but wolves miss wolves. Especially their direct family," Ginta quietly added.

Kouga glared angrily as he felt his eyes twitch the same way a living person would cry. He wished he had said it, even once. He wished that he'd admitted to his half-brothers that he'd loved them. And now, it was too late.

He watched as the two youkai stood up and turned away, loping back to the tribe's new home.

"Oi, wimpy wolf, don't cry when people can see you."

"Shut to fuck up, Inukkoro."

"Feh, stop it wolf. I'm here to do my duty."

Kouga glared down at the inu hanyou who stepped out of the surrounding brush.

"I don't cry; I'm a wolf prince!"

The inuhanyou ignored him as he went through the rituals. Kouga dropped onto the shrine, crossing his legs and arms simultaneously. He continued glaring at the hanyou, trying to think of anything but his dumb emotions. He noticed that the hanyou was completely alone.

"Oi, dog-breath, where are your companions?"

"Scouting elsewhere. I needed to talk to you alone."

This surprised Kouga enough to stop his impending bickering.

"I'm going away with the others. We are going to some weird miko to make sure that we don't have the same thing you did. I'll be gone awhile, so look after the tribe."

Kouga nodded, wondering what Inuyasha was really up to. The dogface knew that he'd look after the wolf tribe somehow, whether he was there to lead them or not.

"I want to mate Kagome. I want your permission."

If Kouga wasn't dead already, his shock at the statement would have done him in.

"NANI!?!? Why do you want my permission? She's your soul mate!"

"Dammit Kouga, you and I both loved her! I-I have…there's no other youkai who would possibly bless our union, but you know her…you know the attraction. You know that she is more than a youkai's heart can fight against."

Kouga listened to the words coming from the distressed half-breed, awestruck. He knew what Inuyasha was talking about. Kouga had…well, thought he had loved Kagome. Her purity, her strength, her courage, her kindness; all these things were like flames that drew the moths in. He had been burned, where Inuyasha had managed to dance in the heat. He nodded, smirking as he read the true contents of Inuyasha's words.

'What he means to say is that he has no family to bless him. He doesn't have a single adult male youkai on his side except me, and that's only because I understand the attraction.'

"She could do a lot better, but you aren't the worst pu...Inuyasha."

Kouga's smirk was mirrored on Inuyasha's face.

"Arigatou, Kouga."

Kouga watched him in amiable silence as he finished the rituals. He would never have thought that Inuyasha would ever respect his grave. It was surprisingly touching; something that he was not very comfortable with just yet. He reverted back to his normal mode of addressing the half-breed.

"Inukkoro, you haven't explained why you and your friends can see me but others can't. I'm supposed to be a ghost!"

Inuyasha's face saddened briefly, before his semi-permanent scowl returned.

"Feh! I'm a hanyou, wimpy wolf. If you knew what I did to stay alive…let's just say that I've dragged myself from Death's grasp enough times to know what things look like on the other side."

Now, Kouga could have ignored that, but there was something horrible in the hanyou's tone of voice. The way Inuyasha said it scared Kouga. It scared him badly.

'How scarred and twisted is his soul?' he wondered. 'Not even my life left me so…angry. And those companions probably haven't touched the depth of it. Kagome may be the only one close enough to learn more.'

"My friends understand. They've seen the other side and they've run, walked, or crawled back from the edge. That's why they can see or hear you too."

Rituals complete, the hanyou stood and turned to go. Kouga watched his back as it receded, struggling to find the words that would somehow make the hanyou sound normal. Or make himself sound normal. He wasn't sure anymore. It was the hanyou who stopped and talked.

"You'll find someone too, Kouga. But, I-I need Kagome now. I-There's not much I've ever wanted but now…she's all I want."

Inuyasha was almost too far away to hear the wolf youkai's low response.

"Wakatta, Inuyasha."

Kouga prowled the invisible boundaries of his shrine, his eyes unseeing and his ears lax. He was busily trying to unravel the tangle of emotions his visitors had presented him with. As he thought of each visitor, he unwittingly picked up some present that they had left on the shrine. He was currently caressing the leather belt that Ginta and Haggaku left him. The belt was soft and supple, with no trace of hair to be found. Four rough gold nuggets, obviously found in a flowing stream, were inset in the center of the belt. It would have been a functional way of showing Kouga's authority if he were still alive to lead.

'My half-brothers never challenged my right to ascend. Shimatta, they pushed me to take the lead, even though they could have combined their powers and beaten me. It's not uncommon for twins like them to lead a clan. They've always trusted me, always done exactly as I ordered them to do. And when I'm slipping up, they don't yammer about my mistakes like a bunch of spoiled cubs. They try to point them out in a gentle, non-threatening way. And what have I done for them?'

Images of the several beatings he had given them, all attempts to relieve his selfish frustration, fluttered through his memory. He grimaced, and put the belt over the shrine. His hand grasped another item as he changed direction. His claws absently stroked the stuffed wolf plushie that Kagome had offered before she and Inuyasha left. She had somehow decorated the tail with strands of his fur. He chuckled as he imagined the argument that caused between the two.

'Ah, Kagome; you are more precious than the entire Shikon no Tama, all the more so because you don't even realize it. You have come across the most hardened youkai and humans and you somehow have the ability to make them open up to you. You can control a blood lusted youkai as easily as you breathe; yet you don't flaunt your power. You are the most perfect, pure human alive, the perfect addition to any youkai's collection. And you fell in love with the lowest of beings, a half-breed that shouldn't be alive. Yet that decision to accept Inuyasha for the creature he is makes you more beautiful than ever. I wanted you to love me like that; I'd have been invincible with you backing me.'

He wistfully replaced the plushie, and then frowned as he picked up the final offering. It was a slim, long tress of white hair, made into a small braid. The top of the braid was tied around a claw; the bottom was twisted around a fang. The ends of the claw and the fang were dipped in blood, which somehow managed to stay in place, wet, yet undripping.

'Inuyasha: a hanyou, something that should not exist; something that lives in the void between two different worlds. You were my worst enemy, next to Naraku. I hated the way you were able to wield that sword of yours. I hated your strength, which was equal to mine any day. You were almost as fast as I was, for some unfathomable reason. If it weren't for the Shikon shards I used to carry in my legs, you would have killed me many times over. I still blame you for bringing the wolf tribe to Naraku's attention. If I'd never met you, all those wolves and wolf youkai would not have had to die unnecessarily. Naraku would only have trapped and killed me. As a prince, I am always expected to die for my people, not let them die. Of course, I would never have met Kagome if I hadn't met you.

Kagome. You had something I desired there, Inukkoro; you had Kagome. A most precious gift, and I thought you were keeping her all to yourself like any upstart youkai would. You would not let her go, no matter how many times I taunted you, or got her to save me, or got her to say Kouga-kun. Yes, I thought you were thinking like me, thinking to keep the best human to yourself, to cherish it like a prize piece of land or an exceptional horse. I didn't understand how you loved her, because I couldn't give her my heart the way you did.

And now, kisama baka, you leave me an offering that is almost better than all of the rest. You leave me with enough scrap materials to weave a powerful curse and kill you. I could take your offering and cause you so much pain you would wish you were dead before the sun moved one hand. You have given me an item that would bear your individual scent for years, allowing me to send others to track you anywhere. You have given me the greatest mark of respect that a hanyou with no possessions other than his body, mind, and life can afford. So now I must carry it, because I will not leave it here for anyone else to take advantage of. I'll protect you, my favorite enemy, so your little braid better carry your abnormally good luck.'

Kouga prowled around the shrine, stroking the white talisman.

The sun was high overhead when Kouga got the summons.

A small horned creature, dressed in strange foreign clothes, appeared from thin air next to Kouga's head. With a short trumpet blast, the little creature unrolled a scroll to read his message in a squeaky voice.

"The grand and auspicious master of the Spiritual Check-in Station, King Enma, has requested your presence at the top of the line immediately. Please visit him without delay."

With a curt nod, the messenger vanished.

Kouga sighed loudly and followed the imp's example.

The check-in line was, as usual, long. Possibly even longer than usual, considering this was the Warring States period. Kouga ignored heckles and hisses as he zipped to the table at the head of the line.

"You wished to see me, Enma-sama?" he asked quietly, bowing low.

An enormous horned figure looked up from an equally enormous scroll. He peered at the bent wolf youkai as he racked his memory.

"Hmm, hmmm, hmmm! Kouga, yes, I called you. You still have not been judged you know."

Kouga frowned, but he kept his voice steady. King Enma was not the type of person you purposely ticked off, even if you were agonizingly tired of the limbo your spirit was trapped in.

"Forgive my direct nature, but may I ask why you have summoned then, Enma-sama?"

The horned figure smirked quietly. He could read the frustration in the little wolf's spirit, even if his voice disguised it.

'The suspense must be killing him…again,' he mused wickedly.

"I have an offer that will help to tip the scales one way or the other. Kami has given a dead miko another chance at life as a repayment for both her service to him and her disobedience of the natural rules. You will council, protect, and help her, so that she may use this chance wisely. If Kami finds favor with your work, you will get another chance. If he is displeased…"

Kouga did not need to hear the rest. Under his bangs, his eyes drifted to the doorway to hell. He saw the gleam of fangs, a twist of black fur, and a bloody eye in a battered face. Nii was grinning at him from a corrupted welcoming stance; the best that youkai could do considering the beating that ended his life.

"She is about to arrive at your shrine. You will report to me monthly, on the night of the New Moon. Go."

"I hear and obey, Enma-sama."

Kouga bowed low, and then vanished once again.

The human figure was stretched out next to the shrine. Black hair billowed around the facial area, totally obscuring it. A white kimono and a red hakama were loosely draped onto the body, hiding any sexual definition. The caterpillar crawling on the chest area would have told anyone that the body was lifeless, for it felt no heartbeat, nor did it hear any breath.

Kouga sat on the shrine, a hand on one knee, the other leg dangling off of the edge. He regarded the corpse with curiosity.

'Heh, looks like Kami-sama forgot to reanimate her,' he thought smugly.

A lightning bolt came from the clear blue sky, striking the ground just behind the shrine. Kouga yelped as the hairs on his tail crawled up and away from the powerful residue of the strike.

'Maybe I should reserve my thoughts on Kami until I see his results,' he mused, rubbing his over-sensitive rump.

"You do that," whispered the breeze. Kouga twisted his mouth like he'd just eaten a sour berry. He didn't need to start this assignment with Kami-sama against him.

The corpse stirred. Kouga heard the first indrawn breath of air as he saw the lungs inflate. He distinctly heard the first heartbeat. In a strange way, it made him feel as if he were watching the first birth ever.

The face moved to stare up at the sun. Shadowy tresses fell away to reveal a youthful face. Her eyes, although they were still closed, twitched beneath the lids, causing long lashes to flutter. Kouga stared intently at the face, his mind a desert island in an ocean of confusion.

'But, but Inuyasha just asked me for permission to mate her!' his thoughts wailed. 'He would never let her die without doing that, but this miko looks just like…'

"Kagome?" he whispered, as he leapt off the shrine to crouch over the figure's face.

Kikyou's eyes flew open. She stared into cobalt blue depths, and uttered her only thought.

"Heaven."

She swiftly descended into the pits of unconsciousness again.

Kouga blinked rapidly. Had Kagome just looked at him like that? Had Kagome just croaked the word, Heaven as she stared into his eyes?

The scent hit him, and it was nothing like Kagome's. A scent like the coldest winter day, brisk and clean, so sharp that it almost hurt his delicate nasal passages, was emanating from the reborn miko, a scent that would remain uniquely hers for as long as she lived.

'This time,' Kouga thought wryly, 'which won't be long if I can't get her to some sort of shelter. She's a quick snack for any hungry animal out there.'

His arms immediately went under her neck and knees in an attempt to lift her. He cursed loudly as he saw them slip harmlessly through her solid mass.

"Whoops," came the soft murmur of the breeze, "forgot about that."

"Just great!" the wolf youkai prince snarled to no one in particular. "How come I can touch the offerings but I can't lift her up?!"

"The offerings aren't really part of the living realm. They exist in a shadowy mid-plane between the living and the dead, which makes them accessible to both worlds," came the unearthly reply. "This miko was once like that, but now she is fully alive again."

"Which means I can't touch her. And how the hell am I suppose to do my job?!"

Another lightning bolt flew from the clear sky, striking the same patch of ground. Kouga's ears flattened against his skull.

"I-I meant how can Kami-sama aid his simple servant in the accomplishment of his duty?"

"You learn. You are a spirit in limbo, which means you have been moved from the realm of the dead into that mid-plane I just mentioned. King Enma just sent me the request, so I was only now able to move you there. Try again."

Kouga warily moved his arms into position. Gently, tentatively, he began to lift the miko up. He grinned as he felt the coarse fabric of her clothing, the slowly warming flesh at the back of her neck, and the gentle rise and fall of her chest.

"Enough mischief-thinking cub, it's time for you to begin your duties. Pray if you're in trouble, but don't always expect a response, I'm a busy person you know."

"Hai, Kami-sama. Arigatou gozaimasu, Kami-sama," Kouga replied, as he turned towards the nearby forest to search for suitable shelter for his charge.

"There's hope for you yet," the air murmured.

~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ Flashback ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~

"Kikyou, my handmaiden…how could you?"

"Kami-sama?"

"I know that I asked much of you, but you were always able to serve me. Why didn't you tell me that the burden was too heavy?"

"Kami-sama, I was your servant! I couldn't let you down! You have been my only mentor since…"

"You know that I would have helped you. All you had to do is trust me."

Kikyou tried to weep, but it had been too long. She had buried her emotions for so long that she could not reveal anything beyond anger and hatred.

"You knew what you were, yet instead of doing the right thing, you let the hatred warp you. You tried to kill those who held the fate of the Shikon no Tama in their hands, and then you tried to twist the mind of the Sword-bearer in order to destroy him. You had the Shikon no Tama in your hand, complete but for a few shards, yet you gave it to the enemy. Your conceit was so great that you thought yourself invincible. Do you realize how heavy your sins are on the scales?"

Kikyou met the voice with indifference, but fear wrapped her still heart.

"But, Kikyou, you are still among my favorites, and I, too, have erred. I succeeded, too well, in driving almost all of your negative emotions away, save your hatred. Naraku used the others, coalescing them into Kagura, the wind spirit, who turned out to be a formidable enemy. For my mistake, I cannot let either of you go without one more serious attempt at life."

Kikyou's face remained impassive, even as her heart leapt in joy. Another chance! A true second chance at life!

"Thank you, Kami-sama. I will not fail you again."

"No, you will not, because this time I will let you live your own life. I will not guide you. But you must still pay for your willful disobedience."

"Kami-sama?"

Kikyou felt the white-hot pain as her body set itself on fire. She felt her hatred, her current life-force, crumble before the onslaught of ki.

"You must be purified before you can take this reward, my child. You will then be reunited with your other self, Kagura, who will also be purified of her powers. Then, like other human children, you shall be without memory, without knowledge, helpless, and powerless."

Kikyou's screech of pain dissolved into a voiceless scream as her powers were flayed away by Kami's might. She felt layer after layer of her mind peel away from her and shrivel in the searing wake of his power. An unknown, unwanted companion conscience entered her being, and they clung to each other like orphaned newborns, she and this mysterious new dweller in her mind. Together, they eagerly threw themselves into the dark abyss that yawned behind them, anything to avoid the pain…

~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ Flashback ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~

The woman shot upright, panting weakly, her bangs slick against her sweating forehead. Her eyes registered no change in the darkness as she scanned about her.

Her sudden movement caused a bolt of pain to flare from her head straight to her toes. She collapsed onto her back; too weak to do anything other than draw in one breath at a time whilst squeezing her eyes shut against the pain.

"Stay still, miko. Your body is drained."

A large…slightly furry?…hand swept cool water across her face. She turned her face into the hand, happy that she was no longer alone. She struggled to convey her feelings, but something blocked them. She frowned in frustration as the block over her ability to communicate remained in place. As the hand moved away, she turned her face to follow it, unconsciously nuzzling the limb. When the hand stood still, she sighed contentedly, and drifted into an easy sleep.

Kouga blinked rapidly. He had never allowed himself to caress someone's face, not even Kagome's. He had never thought to touch her there, even when various encounters allowed him to carry her in his arms. He was amazed at the soft flesh that filled his palm, but he could not dwell on the matter for long. He gently extricated his hand from the sleeping miko's face, slinking back into the shadows to attend to other matters.