Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ All By Myself* ❯ Lose Control ( Chapter 1 )

All By Myself

By Silvertress and Danni

Disclaimer: Neither Danni or me own Dragonball Z. If there are any similarities of this plot to any other fanfiction that's just chance because this is an original fanfiction.

Author's Note: So I'm posting yet another fanfiction. This one I'm very excited about. It's my first joint fic so please tell us what you think. I'm writing this with my beta reader Danni who totally rules at writing. So you should be nice and tell us what you think. So Read, Review, and above all Enjoy.

Need to Know to Read: This is a/u so the story is tweaked a little.

- Gohan, Trunks, Goten (Gohan's twin), Bra and Marron are all roughly the same age - all 21 at the time.

- Mirai Trunks came back in time when the others (Gohan etc) were 18 and so therefore is 21 as well now.

- All the other major events will be covered during the fic.

On with the show;

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He stormed in, throwing his bag at no particular direction but finding one as the blue china lamp smashed on the floor and the sound reverberating around the room. He looked mercilessly at the scattered mess and aimed a ki blast at it destroying it one. He looked at his bag lying there so innocently by the wall next to the bedside table now absent of the lamp. Although he was in one of the worst moods and he knew it, something told him to pick it up and put it away neatly in the closet. After he put the bag away he sat on the bed in the quiet of his room and tried to piece together the day that has to have been one of his worst.

Gohan was a stranger to love and love didn't even know he existed. That much was obvious he thought angrily to himself. Of course the problem could be summed up in one word and it was the word that had governed his life for the last 3 years. It was the word that had given him happiness, hope and something like love but not love - he never knew what it was. But it had also given him despair, unhappiness and anger. This word was Videl. Gohan remembered the first day he met her and how amazed he was at how beautiful she was. Before then, he had felt that way about only one girl but now she was gone. Videl was the only one that made him feel worthy of life but at the same time, she was the one who made him feel worthless.

Gohan was 21 years old. He finished school 3 years ago graduating with straight A's but to everyone's surprise he did not attend college like his twin brother Goten or his best friend Mirai Trunks. In fact, all the Z fighters except Gohan attended college. Mirai Trunks, Trunks, Goten, Bra and Marron. For Gohan all schooling brought back memories of the mother who hated him and betrayed him and the father who never cared about him or his brother and would rather be dead than spend time with him.

Goku and Chi Chi died 10 years ago but yet they still haunted him. Goku died in the Cell games, sacrificing himself for the good of Earth and the rest of the universe. And Gohan hated him for it. As a warrior, Gohan saw the lack of concentration and all the cockiness as his fault and that to destroy Cell was his task but then Goku stepped in and destroyed himself in the idiotic belief that this would kill Cell. Now that was what gave Gohan the excuse of blaming himself and creeping day by day into his shell protecting himself from the world and any more danger that may befall him. This was not helped by Chi Chi. As soon as Goku died Goten went and stayed with the Briefs so that Trunks could help get over the fact that his father had died and that, as he felt, his brother was a murderer. Gohan knew what his twin felt and knew that his mother would need help to get over Goku's death again that he let Goten leave and spent all his time at home with his mother.

Unfortunately, Chi Chi felt the same way about Gohan as Goten did. She hated him, hated him with a passion. A passion that would not go away, a passion that burned like fire as she stood over him with a knife as he slept in the small hours in the morning. She knew that the only way that her grief would go was if he died or if she died. The universe was not big enough for the two of them. All the z fighters knew what Chi Chi was going through but all of them stood on the sidelines and helped neither of them. She wanted to live, so desperately. All day long she would sit and plot ways that Gohan would die. Yet every chance she got she hesitated as she did not want to become a murderer, unlike her son. His past was not his fault but Chi Chi wished he had never returned after he was kidnapped and taken to Frieza. Then she became abusive. Every time Gohan tried to help her, she knocked him back. She put him down, taunted him, teased him, and forced him into the harsh schooling routine that he hated. Then she became physically abusive. She would beat him, starve him and then feed him food that would give him food poisoning. Of course beating him did not hurt him physically but it hurt him deep down. Deep down inside was this terrified boy who did not have anybody to call to for help or anybody to save him.

As the abuse went on Chi Chi's plan failed. She had hoped that Gohan would kill himself and save her the trouble. But time passed and Gohan became a stone statue who felt everything but showed no emotion. To him it was like stepping back in time to when he was Frieza's favourite 'pet'. Then one day it was over.

The two were sitting to dinner, the silence and strain between them was deafening. The silence rang in his ears the hatred oozing from her was blinding and at that moment, he was about to give up. He was prepared to pick up that knife used to cut the chicken she was eating and he was watching her eat. He was prepared to drive it into her heart and then into his own. He didn't even feel horror as he thought this, he contemplated it happening as if he was choosing what to eat in the past where she loved him and his family were all together. But then the thing that he would never forget took place. She stood up.

"Well Gohan you know how I feel about you. Don't you?" She snarled as he stared at the wall behind her trying not to meet her gaze. He sat there mute. "Well you win." A manic laugh issued from her mouth as a hysterical madness took over. Gohan sat there confused trying to work out what he had won. She carried on. "Ever since you returned, destroying Frieza and saving the universe. I hated you. You destroyed so much. Ended so many innocent lives and the thing I couldn't work out was how you never felt any guilt about it" Gohan listened to the lie, his insides burning with the hatred off this woman, this woman who dared to call herself his mother. "When you came back, you settled in so well and soon you were happy. You forgot about all the lives you had taken all the planets destroyed and all the distress you caused. I thought it could not get worse, well I thought too soon didn't I? You murdered your own father"

The knife had been driven in; a cry of pain escaped Gohan as accused him and tortured him with the truth. He was a murderer and he knew it. "Now I hate to be in your company, my skin crawls when I look at you but astounds me is your weakness. I thought as one who is willing to take lives you would rise against the work I set you, the lack of food I gave you and the absence of love I showed. Yet you sat there and accepted it all without complaint. I cannot believe my son has grown up to be such a weakling. You're not worthy of love" She ended her speech and Gohan sat there emotionless, expressionless. Then she reached into the pocket of the dress she was wearing and pulled out something Gohan had only ever seen before then on the television. The gun she pulled out was silver plated with the cruel, hurtful word 'love' engraved in gold on the main handle. Before Gohan could react she placed the gun to her head and pulled the trigger. Gohan watched in shock as the bang reverberated through him causing his bones to vibrate. He watched as her brain and much of her blood flew out of the left side of her brain. He watched as the blood hit the wall and splattered on to one of the shirts she had refused to wash. He watched as her body hit the floor and her spirit went to join Goku in heaven.

A cry escaped Gohan's lips as he sat on his bed 10 years later reeling from the vividness of that flashback. But still the last words his mother uttered went round his head, "You're not worthy of love". Those words haunted him every day and played repeatedly in his dreams. Gohan had not wanted her to die because then he would never escape her. And still he had not to his utter disappointment. She was right he was weak. He stood up and walked into the living room. He looked around. He looked at all the pictures of him and his girlfriend, well ex now he mused as he picked one up. Then a shudder of rage overcame him and he threw the picture but as the glass of the frame smashed against the beech door to his study, the sound brought him back to his senses. Then in a second of calm thought amidst the sea of rage and anger, which was hiding the sadness, he realised what he had to do. He started in the kitchen. He went through every drawer and every cupboard putting all of Videl's possessions in boxes he had found in the garage.

They had lived together for 2 years and their house was now to become his alone. But the thought of being alone did not scare him because he had been alone all his life. Even with Videl, she was just like Erasa when it came to relationships. She never picked up on his unhappiness or figured out his problems. As he cleared out the living room he could not believe that they had lasted 3 years, he now knew that he should have ended it years ago. But their arrangement suited them and as Videl and Gohan were a very popular in the area, Gohan could not have bad press. His job depended on good press. As the founder, owner and manager of G.S.Z records one of the biggest record labels on Earth. But now he could not take it. He did not want to waste his life with someone who did not love him and today was the day in which he found out in the cruellest way.

He had been sorting out phone bills earlier in the day. He knew how much they were, and they were very expensive. So, he looked through all the numbers that had come up. One number came up for every day of the past month and every one of those calls was between 1 and 2 hours long. He had never seen the number in his life but called Videl on her mobile (cell phone) to see if she knew it. She did not pick up. So, determined to solve the problem himself he went into her drawer and found her address book. He looked through it and found the name Sharpner written in pink pen while every other number was written in black and around his name were pink hearts. Yet, around the number for Gohan's mobile there was nothing. As there was an address, he decided to visit. He remembered the jock from high school and remembered the dislike he had felt whenever he saw him. He then remembered about Sharpner's obsession with Videl and that Videl had a crush on him. Maybe that is where the hearts had come from he thought as he drove to his old enemy's house but it is always nice to visit.

He got out the car and put on the bag that Videl had gotten him as a birthday present. He walked up to the front door. But as he got to the door, he found it had been left open. He slipped into the entrance hall silently and as he was about to shout that he was here, he heard male and female voices coming from beyond the door.

"Videl, you do know that I love you loads don't you?" There was a silence "And you do know that I will treat you so much better than that stupid Gohan geek?"

"Where's this going?" Gohan heard Videl say and as she said it his heart dropped.

"I was thinking about it because I was worried about you" Sharpners voice dripped with worry and concern.

"Why?"

"He can't love you that much can he? If he did love you then you would not be here having an affair would you? He's driven you away." Gohan felt nothing but shame when he heard what Sharpner had to say.

"It's not that I don't love him, it's just he's never home for me to talk to"

"Well if he does love you then he would make more time to see you and if he did love you he would have noticed the long phone calls and you spending all your time here," Then Gohan's doom was confirmed

"He doesn't even notice I've left the house" Gohan felt awful, he drove her away, he could not believe it. "I just feel so lonely and unwanted"

"Well I know how to change that," Sharpner murmured. After that Gohan decided to confront the pair but instead of slamming the door open as he planned he inched the door open. He took one look at what was happening shut the door, ran out of the house and sped home.

As the pile of boxes grew in the living room Gohan's anger was slowly subsiding but it was being replaced with feelings of nausea, helplessness and unwanted-ness. Now only one room was left - the bedroom. He went in and went through everything taking out all of her belongings but looking at every one, smelling it - to remind himself of her scent and reminding himself of a time when she used it and he was happy. But every memory was tainted with Gohan wondering if she was having an affair at that time. An hour later he had finished. He looked at his room and saw the emptiness of it; he was pleased that finally he would be getting a chance to try again. Then doubt came back to his mind. In a frantic five-second thought, he contemplated putting everything back and saying nothing about what he had found out.

When Videl came home, she went straight into the living room so she could watch television. As she entered the house she felt a second of guilt about what she had been doing for the past year but it vanished as soon as it appeared. She had stopped loving him a long time ago and now only the smell of his money attracted her. She had said she loved him but it was a lie so that she could justify spending all of his money. It was dishonest but she did not care, it saved her from having to get a job. When she entered the living room, several things surprised her. First she saw the emptiness of it, she did not know why it was empty but it made her worry. Then she saw the man she had been leeching off for the past 2 and a half years. He was sitting on the sofa reading a newspaper, boxes surrounded him, and all of them marked 'Videl'. Not knowing what to say, she said one of the most common words in the world.

"Hi" She got no response. "Erm, what're the boxes for?"

"What does it look like" Gohan replied not even looking up from his magazine. She looked in a box that was filled with all her books.

"Why?" Was all she could say. She could not believe what was happening. He could not throw her out. Where would she go?

"I wouldn't worry if I were you" Gohan said in a monotone. "I'm sure Sharpner would let you stay with him" Videl's heart stopped for a brief second. The first thing she said was

"I'm so sorry, please forgive me, I tried to stop it. It wasn't my fault it happened, it'll never happen again" Gohan put the paper down and looked her straight in the eye. She quailed; she had never seen anything so vicious, unloving and empty.

"I know it won't happen again," He said slowly as he started to read the paper again. Videl felt a little relief but then he carried on. "It won't happen again because I am finishing it and because you are moving out tonight. Don't worry I packed all your stuff" No matter how Videl pleaded, cajoled, begged she could not get another word out of him and he wouldn't even look at her.

After Videl had, left Gohan sat there. The love of his life gone; now he had none. No parents, his brother still had not accepted him. All the other Z fighters were wrapped up in their own lives but then he realised he could go see Dende - he could help. Then Gohan sat down again, what would the guardian of Earth want to do with a murderer who nobody loves and who cannot love at all. Gohan sat there and calmly went through his life. After a while he found a pattern. He blighted everybody he knew and loved. Wherever he went he brought death and destruction. Everybody he knew started to hate him very soon after they first met him because of the bad luck he brings with him. At that moment, Gohan knew what he had to do. He could not love ever again. He could not think about love ever and he certainly could not socialise with others unless he wanted them to die. In other words, he could not feel anything. He had often felt that alone and he knew that he would feel it even more in the years to come.

Miles and miles away a congregation of people stood. They were standing in a white room, it was so white it looked as if it went on and on and had no end. These people all stood and watched what had taken place between Videl and Gohan. There was no show of emotion on any of their faces yet they all understood what was happening and they all felt his grief through a bond they all shared.

There were 5 people there. All wearing a different uniform yet still they were all the same. A voice was heard. It was booming and it gave them instructions as to why they were there and what they had to do.

"All of you have been pulled out of your lives to fix this mess that has erupted. You have all seen the case study and I have called you because you are the experts. Gohan has just made a promise not to feel anything ever again but for the universe to survive he must feel something. You know I cannot tell the future or show any of you what it may be like. But if all of you want to survive then you must help him in any way possible"

"How?" Called one of them, but it was too late as the voice had gone. As they stood there, they took stock of one another.

The youngest one there was about 4 years old. He was wearing blue saiyan armour and he was chewing on his tail. He was the only one who looked confused, as he was too young to understand. But he looked relieved as though he was just saved from something worse than death. He did not know why he was here because he did not understand the voice he could not see but instead of worrying, he started to play with his long ebony hair.

The next eldest was 9 years of age. But he did not look 9 he looked so much older as if he had seen things that no normal child or normal adult would ever see. He was wearing the same blue armour as the 4-year-old. But unlike the 4 year old he had an idea of what was going on but his suspicion about the others was obvious as his ebony eyes swept this way and that gauging the other's strength.

Then there was a boy who was as white as the shirt he was wearing. His shirt was dirty and crumpled, as if it had not been washed in a long time but the most noticeable thing was the blood splatters on it. Also, the blood on his hands was noticeable. His crumpled shirt matched his crumpled trousers but his socks were mismatched and worn on the soles of his feet. His eyes were blank and seemed to register nothing. His hair was a mess but he did not seem to notice. He was the youngest there without a tail.

Looking at the boy with the blood-splattered shirt was another boy approximately 16. There was a big gap between him and the others and there was a big aura of loneliness and social unease surrounding him. Again he had the black hair and black eyes and those eyes were empty as if somebody had taken the life out of them long ago.

Then came a 30 year old who was still reeling from the shock of what he had seen on the screen. He was incredibly tall and built very powerfully. He had a deep tan and looked weathered - as if he had spent most of his life outdoors. He had a big scar across his right eye and he had a sword sheathed at his side. The sheath was attached to the blood red fighting gi he was wearing.

An old man watched them all. He was very tall and very powerfully built. He had the same scar across the right eye as the 30-year-old. He was wearing tracksuit bottoms with a black t-shirt, which contrasted, with his unruly silver hair.

The 4 year old got up and walked up to the 16 year old and asked the first thing that came into his head

"What's your name?" The teenager looked down at him and decided to answer him because all the others were watching him and it would be incredibly rude if he ignored him.

"My name's Gohan what's yours?" At the same time all the others cried out

"But that's my name - "

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Author's Note: So that's the first chapter written by Danni. I hoped you enjoyed reading it. If you're confused by the last part think about the summary. The only one that can help Gohan is himself. That's it for now.
C ya

---Same thing always goes for the e-mail thing. If you leave your e-mail in the review I'll tell you when it is updated next.---