Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ All By Myself* ❯ Losing it ( Chapter 2 )

All By Myself

Losing It

By Silvertress and Danni

Disclaimer: We don't own Dragon Ball Z. Or Mr. King even if his books are amazing.

Author's Notes: Yes chapter two. I love how this fic is turning out. Thank you to all of you who have read and supported this. Chapter 2 was written by me Silvertress so be nice to me and Read, Review and above all Enjoy.

Isolation, that's a word that is a plague and prize too many a man. Some in the midst and admiration of many feel they are alone and just want to scream out in the crowd. Most wear a facade of some sort to be accepted into society in some way or another. We hide a flaw or an embarrassing trait or even our true emotions to protect others or ourselves. While some are isolated in society others are alone outside it. Can a person really handle life without human contact? Could you imagine living your life with only you?

This was the kind Gohan Son thought he required. As if everything his fingertip or emotions clasped to would turn to blood. He wasn't going into isolation for himself he thought but for those potential loved ones. Or was it out of fear his character had gone through so much so how much could a boy take? Whatever the cause the circumstance now was to be alone. He would avoid anyone at all cost still staying strong enough to defend. That was what he was determined to do but there were several people that were willing to deter him from that path.

Gohan lay in his bed contemplating his new life. Would you even call it a life anymore? If you don't have contact with anyone or if people don't remember you then how do you live? Part of you is essentially the impression you leave with people.

The Hybrid's eyes were slowly starting to shut, in a new feeling of emptiness; he just let his eyes close. Hoping that his dreams would just be black. No more nightmares of deaths while he was under Freiza or of his Father's/ Mom's deaths which were his fault. But is there a problem that he just didn't care anymore. The unbroken spirit which had survived a form of enslavement and homicide a mother's unkind bringing and a few teenage years that don't even belong in a Stephan King novel. It had broken. Videl had been his true lifeline no matter what at one point they had been in love. Even if for a day or a second it had been mutual. But now everything was gone. He wouldn't feel the pain anymore. Just pitch black.

....

He stood over two sleeping forms. It was time to get rid of the traitor as she slept in his arms. He saw the blonde hair and raven mixing on the pillows; it made his blood boil. So much for no emotion. With a grin he let a dark blue ki ball form in his hands somehow it seemed to emanate a crimson color. Slowly he let the energy ball go and jumped back as the bed was basically vaporized with a good part of the small apartment bedroom. The heat from the blast rushed past him and a small fire started to spread all he did was smile. They had paid for what they did to him. Both of them had asked for it. With a mad look in his black eyes he started to do what seemed an unearthly cackle.

...

Gohan bolted straight up, the sound of his own false laugh in his ears. Covered with sweat he let his rushed breaths calm. He hadn't lost control. But it had been so real.... The boy just let his head rest in his open palms and shook his head

A loud noise seemed to echo though the empty apartment. The noise was continuous and seemed to be a jackhammer to the Hybrids head. As it continued and his name was called out. His eyes slowly opened and the light penetrating the blinds almost made him sightless. It took him a few seconds to get his surroundings and was astonished to where he was but then it all slowly came back to him.

It was the dream of Videl with Sharpner and he had lost control. After that he didn't dare to go to sleep because when that kind of dream happened only more would follow he had learned over time and why expose yourself to that kind of pain?

He grimaced as his eyes finally focused saw several bottles of sake around. His head was at that moment resting on the glass table that was in the middle of the couches. In desperation after the dream to rid himself of the feeling he rushed to the liquor cabinet and decided to drown them away, at least till morning. Now it was morning and he hated it.

Suddenly the doorbell rings stopped. He heard a thud and saw a familiar figure enter the door. "Gohan," the voice questions as he entered the house. The half blood didn't move or say anything as the new figure furrowed his eyebrows together and shook his head slightly. "Gohan… Man what did you do last night? You look horrible." Mirai Trunks said. Seeing all the sake and the tired, overtired, hung over, Gohan.

"Forgetting…" Gohan said not even bothering to get up.

"What happened?" Trunks asked his voice went from curiosity to concern instantaneously.

"She's gone… Videl… She's with that weakling Sharpener," his steady voice cracking.

"Gohan, I'm so sorry but you can't deal with it like that."

"That's not it all. I had a dream." Just with that statement Mirai's eyes grew. He already knew that when Gohan dreamed it was never good. "The two were together and I was there and I lost control. Just like it has happened before I got so mad and it took me Trunks. The feeling was there and I thought I've finally mastered it but I've haven't. I wanted to murder both of them last night. I can't do this anymore. I have to get away. So I don't…. I don't hurt anyone else."

"Gohan, we both know that was never your fault. What do you mean get away?"

"I'll give up the business and go where I can't hurt anyone." Gohan said starting to stand up; but his legs were wet noodles and he sat on the ground once again. He glared at Trunks who was looking at him and just laughing.

"When did you come up with that plan genius? Was it when you were stoned or before then? Either way it's the stupidest damn thing I've ever heard."

"What??? I'm trying to protect people here." Gohan's voice low almost a growl.

"Trying to protect people or yourself? Because I think it's the second. But I assure you that we'd stop you. We all already know what your energy feels like when it happens."

Trunks responded and started to move closer towards him. "You always go for the extreme don't you. So Videl wasn't the one for you. Anyone could tell you weren't communicating anymore. We all go through break ups in our own time and it hurts. But get over it." Trunks said. "Do you want the bitch to win, for you to be ruined over her?" Trunks asked more passionately.

Gohan just shook his head. What if you were ruined before then? Gohan thought. "I guess you're right Trunks. Still be ready for it if ever happens again. I can't live with myself if it ever happened again." I can barely do it now.

"Come on Gohan you know I'm always right. Anyway you have control it won't happen. Now you have a meeting to get ready for. You have that big record signing deal this afternoon." Trunks said smiling, his hands now on Gohan's shoulder. "It'll be ok. Now let's try to get rid of that hang over. Ready to drink about a gallon or three of coffee those head aches can be the death of you." Trunks said trying to lighten the mood.

"You got to be kidding me. Coffee? Isn't there anything else? I mean all that caffeine will have me shaking for weeks." Gohan asked trying to act normal.

"The caffeine is what gives it the kick. Also it's a rush." Trunks said turning towards the kitchen.

Caffeine if you didn't know is overly effective in Saiya-jins. It helped Gohan escape nightmares for a few days and subsequently gives them the shakes. The last time Mirai had too much he had to leave a coffee house because his legs were creating a slight earthquake.

"Don't worry I got something that will postpone the shakes until you get home. Go take a shower you look dead." Trunks called from the kitchen. I could only wish.

Good, all I have to do is keep up this façade. I don't need him worrying about me. I don't deserve it. He is right about the extreme isolation thing. I might have been a little too hasty. I'll keep contact just keep my heart closed. Emotion is weakness anyway. That's what I was taught anyway.

But no it's impossible. I can't freeze my heart. I'm not like him at all. I'll just keep it from others. There is no one else for me. I can't drive anyone else away. I've done it twice before. Never again…. Gohan thought as he got up to the bathroom and got ready for the shower. Subsequently all those thought led to the time before Videl.

When she was around, the first person to show him human compassion since his

Father and Mother were gone.

Flash Back: (Piccolo P.O.V)

He was lost. What do you do when you're all alone? The other Z fighters had expelled him. Out of fear and anger he was alone. To them he was a monster that drove two of their best friends to the grave.

He could feel Piccolo's presence near him, watching over him. But the Namek didn't want to get involved. He didn't know how to comfort and care for the boy. But would look over the boy no matter what, even if he was considered a monster or danger. Those fools had been prejudice against the boy and had condemned him with him not even being at fault.

The Namek had asked Vegita to take him in but the Prince had said he was old enough to be on his own. That his upbringing under Freiza was harder and being alone should be simpler. He also said his woman feared the boy. So he could do nothing.

In disappointment Piccolo started to look for a new home. The boy couldn't go to his Grandfather's because the King had died years ago. You may ask why the Demon King would look for a dwelling for his archrival' s kid. That was simple he owed the boy. First he had let the kid be captured by Raditz. Then when he fused with Kami he saw what the child had gone through. It was enough to bring a tear even to his cold face. Kami had kept an eye on the kid because he had supposed future use. The boy had also saved the whole world so he did deserve a home. Piccolo also felt that his part of playing the protagonist was far from over. The final reason was he had over the years crossed over to Goku's side and before the fight with Cell had trained with the boy. He admired him and the child brought something out in the Namek he never knew he could feel.

He had sent a telepathic message to a girl name Lime's parents who Gohan had met earlier and had helped in a way. Saying they would find a child in the woods and they should provide him shelter and repay him for what he had done. The message was implanted so deep the parents would be compelled to do so. Gohan Son would not be alone for long. Piccolo almost smirked as he sensed the girl going towards the boy.

The ends up his mouth went upward as he heard a loud "What!" from the boy. He would get this good guy thing fully down one day. But he knew that his mission was accomplished. Kid you have stuff I can only begin to imagine in store for you. He started to fly off back to the Look Out as he felt the two powers go off together.

End Flash Back:

Tears burned his face against the cold shower water as he thought of her. Desperately he tried to divert his feelings and luckily he succeeded; or the tears would over come him.

"Never again," he whispered to himself. "I will remain all by myself. I can't risk feeling the pain."

~~

His hair combed and now having ingested Trunks' "miracle hangover cure," Gohan was entering the building to his company G.S.Z records. The glass skyscraper loomed over him and he prepared himself for the meeting keeping up his façade and praying he wouldn't blow it.

Trunks walked quietly behind him, and waved to certain employees as he walked in the door. People bowed and Greeted Gohan hello and he waved shallowly not really in the mood for meet and greets.

"Go in and entertain them with some of your charm. I need to get some papers." Gohan said pointing to the main conference hall.

"You never give me any challenges. Do you?" Trunks asked lightly. "Just keep composure and everything will be ok. You know the vultures will already know that you two have split. Just stay strong." With that Mirai was gone.

Gohan made it to his private office. He opened the door and lost his breath as he opened the door his chair contained her….

"Gohan?" Said the voice he thought he was least likely to hear ever again. His heart once again ripped in two.

"What the hell are you doing here?" He said sharply. "You shouldn't be here, you have no clue what I want to do to you know." He hissed.

"What do you mean?" She asked quietly. Her lavender eyes looking at him with to his disdain he couldn't tell. They had truly lost the feel for each other.

"The very sight of you makes me… I can smell him all over you, and sense him." Gohan said lowly. Gohan could curse his Saiya-jin side right now. His instincts told him to rip her in two for her betrayal. He had gone through years of training to manage it just as every Saiya-jin must. "Say what you have to say and leave me alone. Go be with him and be happy. You do love him don't you?" His voice not a hiss but low and husky almost animalistic.

"I do love him Gohan. I just need to apologize once more. Sharpener can be a real bastard at times. I just need to say a proper good-bye. Gohan, you were my first and I'll always love you. It's just you never let me fully in. I told you at the beginning to not keep anything else from me ever again and I can tell you did. You refused to let me in and I have to have someone that is open to me completely. Then we started to drift and Sharpener was there for me in ways you can never be." Videl said starring at Gohan's now teal eyes.

"You mean you found openness. Something I would never fully give you."

"I could never tell what was going on with you. With Sharpner I know. You were always the mystery Gohan Son. I can't love you because I can't help you. I've seen you scream from those nightmares. Or pace around trying to escape them. I don't even know why you have them." Videl said.

"You'll never know. As I've said before. My past is done and I must live with it alone. I'll never tell anyone of it again." Videl suddenly stepped forward and wrapped her arms around his waist. His eyes grew a darker teal and his hair started to spark gold.

"Good-bye Gohan." Videl said. With that she let go and walked away no more words spoken. Gohan just stood there letting an aura explode around him. He didn't even care if anyone in the hall saw.

He fell to his knees and let his face fall into open palms and he just stayed like that. Letting the new tears flow; yes his past was closed to the outside. But not him it was something he had to bear with every minute of his fucking life.

"Gohan?" Called a feminine voice from the hall, then a gasp was produced as she saw the man.

His office lay in tatters from the explosion of energy; papers everywhere, his furniture in disarray but he didn't care. The girl an attractive blonde of 21 looked at him with serious sapphire eyes.

"I just saw Videl in the hall and… What's wrong?" Marron asked urgently. She stepped back as his power let out one last explosion making things fly around then crash to the ground. After that one blast the aura was gone but his gold hair and teal eyes remained. But she was startled that they now were emotionless.

"Gohan what happened?" She almost ordered him to answer.

" I shouldn't have taught he how to conceal her power so well." He said almost hysterical.

"Gohan I want you to go wait in my capsule car. I'm going to tell Mirai to cover for you." Marron said shoving the capsule in the man's hand. He just nodded. He wasn't in the mood to argue. Actually he wasn't in the mood for anything. That burst of emotion had drained him. He was tired in spirit, mind and soul. He decided to just let Marron take charge for a while. While the bulk of the Z senshi had abandoned him Marron, Marai Trunks, Piccolo and Vegita to some extent had stayed true to him.

~~

"I will talk to him first." Said the old man, "the idiot needs some sense knocked into him." The old man said to his other counter parts. They all nodded. An advantage about talking to yourself is that sometimes you all agree on the same thing easily. With that a white light surrounded the man and he was gone.

Author's Note: Android 18 was an early proto-type of Dr.Gero. That's why Marron and her are part of the Z senshi. 18 joined their side over 22 years ago. (fic timeline.) Next chapter will be out when Danni writes it. Thanks for reading.

C ya.