Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ Chizzari-Raditz ❯ Brother ( Chapter 18 )

I seem to remember a little bit more every day. Some days, what I remember sends me under the bed. I mean that literally. I will wake up from a nightmare, and find myself under the bed, with Jilt on the floor next to it, trying to coax me out. He has a firm rule that I must tell him why I've gone under the bed, and I often make him ill when I tell him what I have dreamed.

The dreams are real, once I've had them, I remember what has caused them. And then I have to tell him about that, too. His bond is weaker than the one I had with Vegeta, but he is still able to compel me with it. He is worried about me. I can feel it through the bond. Like the first one, this bond is incomplete. I have not bitten him to complete the bond, nor do I want to. That worries me. I should want to complete the bond. I know I wanted to with Vegeta, wanted desperately to complete our bond.

I still remember what it felt like to have that bond shattered the way it was. The night I remembered for that, Jilt says I couldn't breathe and the old shame mark made an appearance. He bit me again. That was the night that we consummated his bond.

I don't like to think about that. It feels wrong. I still haven't remembered enough to know why my mate touching me intimately seems so wrong to me. I tell him, when he asks, that it must have something to do with the broken bond he replaced, or possibly with the chizzari bond I still have. Chizzari don't usually have mates, after all.

My mate is in the kitchen, trying to make something that will tempt me to eat. I haven't been eating much of anything. I still eat a lot, but compared to most Saiyans, I barely eat enough to support an infant. I think that is why he is worried. When he brings out the tray, full of things I used to eat with gusto, I only poke at it. I simply cannot make myself take more than three or four bites of anything, and that's with him compelling me through the bond.

"Please, Raditz, eat something."

"I can't." I drop the bite I was going to take, and bolt for the bathroom. When I come back, he looks even more worried than usual. "Jilt, am I pregnant?"

He stares at me for a solid three minutes. "We can find out." A few minutes later, he has ruled that possibility out. He has also installed me in a regeneration tank.

It's kind of nice to just float, and not have to worry about anything. I suppose whatever is wrong with me must be pretty bad. I don't really get tanked all that often. I listen to the muted hum of the machines through the viscous fluid that surrounds me. I hear the voices of a few medics, at least one of which sounds rather surprised. I can hear the screaming of a baby, too, a really, really loud one.

I think the kid sounds a lot like my father. I bet the kid will be louder than hell in the bedroom, if he lives long enough to get there. After awhile, though, he quiets down. I figure someone must have finally fed him, he sounded kinda hungry to me. After that, I hear the occasional footstep, and the machines, and not much else.

Jilt rouses me from a sound sleep when he pulls me from the tank. He seems upset, and I can feel the wash of several emotions through our bond. He takes me back to my room, then, like Zarbon did before he left with my son, swipes a lock of my hair. I watch as he separates it into thirds, and plaits each, before undoing the long braid that hangs down his back and replaiting it with my hair entwined with his.

"You're leaving."

"Yes. I am being recalled home." Jilt taps his fingers against his mark, then leans over the bed and presses his lips to it. I moan helplessly, pulling him closer when he finally bites me. It is a bittersweet undertaking. He loves me in a way Vegeta never did, never can. His touch is both pleasure and pain, delight and torture to me, but I submit easily enough to what he wants from me. I can do no less. It is very unlikely I'll ever see my mate again, and we both know it, pleasuring each other to the best of our abilities.

He leaves me sated and very nearly asleep when he finally slips from our bed. It is the only time I have ever welcomed his intimate touch, and one of the few times I have reciprocated. He stumbles once or twice as he moves across the room, picking up the bag he has been living out of. He turns at the door, looking back at me, and whispers something in his own language. I commit it to my frequently faulty memory, and drift to sleep.

I think about our last night often. It is all I really have to counter my life. It has been… bad. I cannot think of a word horrible enough to describe what has happened. The days when all I needed to worry about was the occasional Moon Burst lesson seem easy compared to the hell I live in now. I have been abandoned by those who promised to care for me.

Nappa tries to make each night somehow worse than the last. He usually succeeds. More often than not, when he comes back to use me again, I am still wherever he left me, too dizzy or sick or weak to have moved. He and the king came that night, the last good one of my life. They came, and I have been in pain ever since.

I don't keep track of time. I don't even try to. If I happen to be hungry, and am able to move, I try to get to something to eat. Most of the time, I feel too sick to try and eat. Or I'm in too much pain to be able to move. I think the only thing keeping me alive is the regen tank. I should be dead.

The Moon Burst is their favorite. One choking me, one fucking me. Swelling and transforming until my body ruptures, then putting me in a tank just enough to heal to do it again. Every day, never less than twice, usually as often as five times. The slightest infraction on my part is grounds for a lesson. Even if it is something I cannot possibly do.

The king seems to enjoy watching more than participating. Early on, he took me to his chizzari's chambers, and told them to fuck me creatively. Each took a turn on me, some more than once. With toys, without them. In groups or alone. Now, he settles just for Nappa. The more painful Nappa can make it for me, the better the king likes it.

I do not know why I am still alive. I do not really know how I can still be alive. I think I may just be having a nightmare I can't awaken from. Vegeta, Bardock, Zarbon, Jilt… none of them come. I know they can't, and I scream for them anyway, begging them to help me.

The scars on my body have multiplied. I am not sure that I will ever be able to bear another child, much less sire one. I have been used and abused so thoroughly that they have to work hard if they want to make a meal of me. The only meals I ever seem to get are the ones licked off their bodies, or shoved down my throat. I don't remember what food tastes like. As far as I can recall, the last meal I ate was the one Jilt made that I couldn't keep down.

Nappa is angry. I have been called to do my father's duty to his youngest child. His latest toy is firmly entrenched in my flesh, and I am not to remove it. I have today to myself otherwise, so that I can administer the warrior rite to this child asleep on my lap. There is one small problem. I have been rubbing myself since they brought him in, and I have yet to have gotten a response.

It is no surprise to me. My groin went beyond a black and blue mess months ago. My hand moves on limp flesh as firmly as I can manage with my fingers broken. My other hand prepares my brother. I can't remember right now what they said his name was. It doesn't really matter. He sleeps, moving a bit as I stretch him. Considering how much he wailed when they brought him to me, I'm rather shocked that he is sleeping so soundly instead of screaming his head off.

He looks like Turles. A little softer-featured, maybe. At least he is the proper age. My Turles wasn't. My hand continues to try to coax my ruined cock to life, but time is running out. I am still hoping that I will manage to rise to the occasion.

My mind turns from my brother. I cannot understand what it was I did to earn the enmity of the king and Nappa. Even at the ceremony, the king was savage with me. Nappa had savagely raped me only hours later. What could I have possibly done? It has been years… six of them? I don't know. I just know that the time can be measured in years. I never expected to be chosen.

My breathing has quickened into the closest thing I allow myself to crying now. I never expected to be chosen. Never expected to become the prince's mate. Never thought he would break our bond simply because I thought I was doing what I ought. Never once imagined the kind of horror that I have lived since he told the king he wanted me.

It is easier to move my hand now. Hurts worse, but it's easier to move. One of the bites has reopened, and the blood is making it much easier to move my hand. Hasn't got a bit of effect, but it's nice that it's not so hard to rub myself. I look out the window. The sun is beginning to set. My brother's second birthday is nearly over. He is as ready as he'll ever be, glistening with the oils I have used.

My limp flesh seems to mock me. I cannot fail at this, I cannot! If I cannot perform with him, the king will administer his rites. My movements become more jerky the lower the sun gets on the horizon. It has not yet set completely when my door swings open. I turn my head, my hand never ceasing its ineffectual movement. "I still have time."

"Yes, I know." Vegeta approaches, sitting on the bed. I say nothing else, continuing to try to do what I need to. His eyes fall to my lap. "Raditz, give me the boy."

I don't even think about it. I try to stand, to give my brother to him. Pain stabs through me, Nappa's toy making itself known once more. My hold on my brother fails. I drop him, crashing to the floor myself. I do not see what happens next, but hear the sleepy protest of my baby brother, followed by a piercing wail I wish I had the breath to echo. I know that Vegeta has performed the rite on the boy.

My brother doesn't cry very long. Vegeta is muttering something at him, then carries him off, stepping over me. I watch as he walks out the door, a single sob escaping. It is a struggle for me to get up, and I only make it to my knees before Nappa enters my room. He comes straight up behind me, and pulls that toy of his out, twists it, then shoves it back in a rush.

I scream, crashing back down on my face. Nappa shoves the thing back in, as my fall had pulled it loose again. He amuses himself while I scream myself hoarse again. I barely hear the blip of the com, and Vegeta telling him that he and I are to report to our quarters on Frieza's ship. He acknowledges the command, but continues to play for another hour before he leaves, telling me to get myself packed and to the pods.

I can barely move. It is sheer agony to get back up on my knees, and a lot of work to get that toy out of my body. Nappa didn't go through any great pains to make it. It's made of ragged, splintering wood squares tiered together. The smallest is an inch square, the largest six inches, about as long as my forearm. Nappa enjoys my screams, and made it especially to ensure that he could hear them. He has yet to fail at shoving the entire thing deeply in my body.

I know I'm a ragged, bleeding mess, but I have no time for a regen tank. I stuff the rag bandages I have made into place, hoping they will stop the bleeding long enough for me to get to one on Frieza's ship. I have very little to pack. I don the only set of armor I have left, and wrap my box in the bloodied robe.

It is a battle for every step I manage to take. I lean against the wall heavily, unable to stay upright without its support. At last, I make it to the pod bay, and tell the crew my orders.

"You won't have far to go. Looks like Frieza's coming here," the tech handling the pods tells me. "And hey, your brother is just getting ready to launch. There, that one!" He points, and I watch as my brother leaves our planet on his first assignment. "Okay, yeah. We'll have a pod ready in about ten minutes!"

I sink onto the bench, only half-aware of my surroundings. A pod lands, and I watch as my father steps from it. I try to rise, only to have my abused body refuse to function. He is gone by the time I get to my feet, and my pod is ready. I hobble to it, and am soon seeing the last of my planet. I have no idea how literal that thought will prove.

Frieza's ship was very close. I get out of the pod, leaving a bloody mess behind me, and make my way to the regeneration tanks. I'm going to need a long stint in one before I'm fit to fight. I find an out of the way med bay, where the medic helps me out of my armor and removes my makeshift bandages. He makes a startled noise I interpret as bad news, and shoves me straight into a tank. He straps the mask on, and closes the tank without attaching any of the monitors. That only happens if the injuries are really bad. As quickly as the tank fills, I realize I must be in worse shape than I thought.