Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ Clue: DBZ Style ❯ Alternate Ending 2/3 ( Chapter 11 )

Standard Disclaimer: I V.J do not own Dragon Ball Z nor do I claim any rights to the series manga or toys, I also do not own the movie Clue I hope this is satisfactory no need to sue it's simply for fun...

Colonel Mustard: Krillin

Miss Scarlet: Bulma

Mr.Boddy: Goku

Mr.Green: Piccolo

Mrs.Peacock: Baba

Mrs.White: Chichi

Professor Plum: Yamcha

Wadsworth:(The butler) Vegeta

Yvette: Marron (Krillin's first girl friend)

The Cop: Mr. Popo

The Singing Telegram Girl: Pan

The Motorist: Future Trunks

The Cook Mrs. Ho: Idasa and Ikose's Mother (the loud mouth red head seen during the Tornament) I am naming her Hilda

The Pizza Girl: 18

The Security Guard: 17

Clue

Part Eleven

Alternate Ending Two

That was how it could have been…but how about this!

Vegeta began moving about, trying to explain the murders. "When we split up and searched the house in the dark the murderer ran across the hall way, bumped into 17, then entered the billiard room where Marron was stabbed with a rotten carrot! The killer then ran into library and decimated Mr.Popo the cop…funny, as I recall the slang term for cops is popo's hmn…how ironic…anyway, then the killer ran to the main door then opened it and recognized Pan from her porno video and killed her!"

Vegeta by now had to take a breather, he quickly resumed where he left off "Now, the killer is someone that was on the ground floor!" he said looking to everyone.

Baba started to shuffle her feet nervously, and spoke. "But, Piccolo wasn't in the cellar!"

Vegeta glared at her knowingly. "No, but you were!"

"That's bull!" exclaimed Baba over-defensively.

"I knew it was that wrinkly old prune!" emoted Bulma.

"Me, too, I knew it from the beginning. Okay Vegeta, lets call it a day, and return the goblin to the forest." Krillin said.

"It is Baba, you murdered them all, and attacked me in the garden, some how you manipulated your form. You were the only person missing when Hilda and Yamcha were murdered, confess ugly troll dung, and the cook used to be your cook!"

Everyone gasped in shock, Baba's demeanor changed, and she started to sound very all-evil like. "How did you know that…?" she asked suspiciously, hoping Vegeta was bull crapping.

"Ha, a double negative, I believe you just gave yourself away, funny, I accused you of being a murderer, and yet you defend the cook claim, do you not remember your fatal mistake? You told us at diner that we were eating one of you favorite recipes, and saiyan's brains are popular in the Cold Empire and cannot be spread throughout the universe, for it is a rarity being that only a handful of saiyans still exist…" Vegeta was cut off by Chichi.

"You mean like your father the stripper!" Chichi implied rudely.

Vegeta stared at her and was thinking about changing the killer to her; the crowd was gullible, and believed every word he said, and Chichi fits the bill more then anything hmn…well it was thought anyway…

"Silence heathen, now what was I saying …ah yes, being that only a handful exist are not often to be found on the planet earth, which explains how you knew Popo among other guest you killed!"

"Oh my god, what the hell is this, don't I get a trial, you are not judge Judy! What the hell come on I'm Baba, the fortune teller you need me!!!"

Vegeta looked disgusted. "What the hell for?"

"Um, to rub your back to um, to make sweet love to…okay you need me more then you think, I can give you a free day to live…um once you die… I can get the grand Kai, to grant you a free day of life!"

"Boo, you suck!" said Piccolo.

"Yeah that does suck, and by the way judge Judy is small claims court, no homicidal murder case would ever be put in her lap… try King Yemmah!" smarted Vegeta.

Goku screamed prissily and ran in front of everyone… everyone thought he lost his marbles, "Wait a minute is that what we ate, was it really saiyan's brains…Raditz, I haven't seen him in this story yet, oh my god did we eat my brother's brains!" cried Goku traumatized.

Everyone begun to whisper in a conspiracy like fashion; another scandals was brewing.

Vegeta stepped in front of Goku; his eyes sparkling mischievously; of course, it was not Raditz's brains…it was Brolly's brain although it was only a small portion.

"Oh Kakarot, I nearly forgot, such dreadful news…yes you ate your brother, oh the saiyanmanity! You ate your brother now you must kill yourself! Do it now I refuse to be your shadow any longer, redeem me and your brother by sacrificing your very life!"

"Nooooooooo!" cried Goku, drenched in tears. "I'm so sorry Raditz, I didn't know…I was hungry…. Wait, I didn't eat dinner! Yeah that's right, Baba grossed everyone out, and I was giving everyone those neat gift and…." Goku was cut of by Vegeta trying to force the left over food down his throat.

"Hey stop! Baba is chewing her way out of here! And look she dropped a dirty sock!" Bulma screamed in horror and passed out holding the moldy sock.

Vegeta spin kicked Baba in the air, and then Goku piled drove her to the ground. The rest of Baba's teeth came out, and her shirt popped open and everyone screamed of sheer terror.

"What, what the fuck are you!" screamed Piccolo, pulling his pig-tails

Baba tried to avoid the question by wrapping a drape around her, and proceeding with the accusations walking slowly hearing the fire place crackle in the background as she made her dramatic spot light, and stood on top of the soapbox proudly. "Ahem…why would I murder all the others!" she said, but all everyone could do was stare. "Stop staring, or do you find me so profoundly beautiful you can't take your lust filled eyes off me!" she battered her baboon eyes at Vegeta, and flashed the group again.

The all huddled together screaming in fear; 17 spoke and pointed. "Kill it, she's a sailor scout! I saw it the crescent moon thing, gross, is it suppose to be on her saggy boobs! Accckkk!' 17 screamed like a valley girl on helium running into the wall attempting to blind his eyes.

Baba knew her time was almost up, they found out her deadly secret, now she knew they part of the negaverse, for those of you who do not know…

(Caution telling you this will bring harm to your fragile minds) Baba is actually Serena, yes, it is true, and she is now 1,000,000,000 years old! She waited every midnight summer for her beloved Tuxedo Mask and his flowers…ever since he dumped her for Karoni, that guy from the cell saga, you know the one who threw roses. She wears a pink wig to look like her daughter Renee (I think that's how it's spelled?)

At any rate, Vegeta thwarted her plan to dispose of everyone by proceeding with the investigation. (A/N: dating Baba would probably turn any man gay!)

"The reason you killed the others, besides the cook was simply because you were jealous. … Ah yes, it is obvious now… you are in fact, Serena from sailor moon, you gave yourself away! I was wondering why you attacked Yamcha earlier, he was the one who really stole Tuxedo mask form you, was he not!"

"That's Darin to you butt hole, yes he stole my Darin! He swayed him because…. Because Yamcha had a matching tuxedo, and the decide to be Tuxedo Mask, and his twin Tuxedo Deluxe… couldn't he the stupidity before leaving me to rot, he would rather be a duo super hero weirdo! They both look like Sigmund and Freud! How did you know?" She confessed blindly.

Vegeta scoffed, "That's Siegfried and Roy, bubble butt!"

"But, why did you kill Marron, although she deserved it, and that pile of toxic waste outside called Pan? In addition, the cop Popo, and that boy with no name?" asked 18, while holding unto Krillin's hand.

Baba knew she was made out. "Alright, I'm caught, but if you think I'm going to give you a confession, forget it! Shin will throw me away! However, I will tell you this "said Baba dramatically.

"Oh hurry up you Camel face, depends wearing, ass smelling, white diamonds wearing sailor scout!" shouted Piccolo.

Chichi stared grimly at Baba taking her time, everyone knew this was her spotlight and she was going to confess along with her life story, and how she became a sailor scout. The fact she ate a lot and that she and sailor Mercury use to talk about boys and that her and Mercury had an "experiment" with each other, and that she was a prostitute to make ends meet after the cancellation of Sailor moon, and that her brother Roshi, who used to be the incredible Hulk, was her body guard. Blah, Blah, Blah….

*Is she going to take all day with this, I cannot believe this; I swear, I wish I had that rotten carrot to kill her with, the bitch! I have many groceries to buy, and plot the murder of my new boy friend Goku…somebody shut her up please! * Chichi thought coldly.

By then Bulma and Vegeta, were playing strip poker, unfortunately for Vegeta, Bulma was winning. Goku decided to eat some food, 17 & 18 were trying to turn Krillin into an android…Piccolo called his agent and demanded he be in the GT series, and that he be the hero, and Goku disappears from the series for a hundred years.

~*~*~

Now approximately one year later, Baba got on with her confession, by that time baby Trunks was born, as was baby Gohan. Goku became a low life, in which he owes child support; he does not have a job as of yet. Vegeta grew an inch; Bulma was still in the same green silk dress, feeding baby Trunks. Krillin grew hair, and 17 shaved his bald…oh yeah Marron was also born.

18 smoked a cigarette and put the ashes in Marron's hair, she was a negligent parent. Baby Marron glared at her mother.

Baba ranted, "Now I killed Pan because…" Baba's sentence was caught of by Bulma and Vegeta arguing who was going to change Trunks; baby Marron was walking everywhere, her parents totally neglecting her.

"Oh my god!" 18 cried; then she ran in Marron's direction.

Marron was happy to see her mother cared; however, it was short lived once 18 pushed her out the way to get her pizza hat she left there a year ago.

Everyone's attention turned towards Baba, because she was screaming and her breath was horrible. "Quiet, I have to finish this, ahem I mean, I haven't got all day you know. I killed Pan because she was in a porn video with Darin, my brother, and Yamcha! It was called "Tuxedo of midnight dream" such a cheesy tasteless porno flick…. I so wanted to be the star! I killed that boy with no name, because he would not put out! I killed the cop Popo, because we were the same height, and this crappy house was not big enough for the both of us, yes. I know Krillin is around the same height…but come on that guy is pathetic, I mean did you see the cell saga, oh and don't get me started on the Buu saga, and last but not least Marron… she was an accident!" divulged Baba.

Vegeta put down baby Trunks, and spoke. "An accident, then who was your initial target!" he asked intrigued. Trunks had been dropped on the floor upside down giggling, then baby Marron walked past him. Marron glared at him giggling; then smacked him in the face popping out his pacifier; it was apparently for no reason.

Everyone looked at Bulma, she got nervous. "What?" she asked alarmed, and accidentally kicked Trunks sending him flying into the wall; Vegeta picked him up by the back of his shirt, and he was giggling again.

Goku jumped from out of the gutter with a whiskey bottle in his hand. "Gshh…um Bulmashh she'sssh trying kill yousss!" he slurred, walking all retarded like.

Chichi saw Goku and glared handed him a subpoena, ordering him to appear before the grand Kai' for child neglect, and child endangerment. Goku just burped and farted.

Baba scoffed and looked at the group. "Yes, Bulma was my initial target, however…" Baba was cut off by Trunks' crying.

"Shut that fucking brat up!" Baba demanded

Bulma tried to shush Trunks, but as soon as Baba spoke Bulma glared and Trunks attacked. Baba was trying to get baby Trunks off her; he bit, and chewed and clawed at her. The baby was attacking!

"Bulma get Trunks now, or when Shin finally gets here he won't mistakenly take our son!" ordered Vegeta from behind Goku, it seemed he was too scared to do it him-self, for Trunks had razor sharp teeth!

"Get off! Oh my aching sacroiliac! He's demon! Get this baby off me! What is it, a Basket Case, or the It's Alive Baby!!!

Baby Trunks made demonic baby noises like. "Googoo, gaga and Baba, and worst yet mama!" and he gnawed on Baba's face. Then little Gohan attacked by throwing his pacifier at Baba, but he never expected her to steal it, and use it for her dentures, he started to cry. Baby Marron just walked past everybody to run away from home. She positioned herself behind Baba and her mouth expanded to engulf Baba's head

Baba screamed in pure terror; " Holy bat shit! What the hell it that child?" Trunks was still biting Baba. Marron disappeared.

Bulma grabbed little Trunks, as if it were the easiest thing in the world; Vegeta sighed in relief. By then Baba was on the floor confessing to everything.

"I did it I did it all! Take me away Shin, Please! I'll tell you everything starting from the beginning…" Baba proceeded to tell another yearlong story and everyone said screw it and left. "Yes, it was me who cut Goku's tail, and it was me who didn't flush the toilet!" she went on and on. "I also was the cause of the music sensation Brittany Spears, and yes I also used to be Relena from Gundam Wing! I'm also the cause of the controversy between Brittany and Justine Timberlake; I was the Brittany look-alike in his "cry me a river" video!"

Vegeta came back, but not by himself, he was also accompanied by Shin, Kabito, Bardock, and bunch of dudes dressed in white.

"Well Shin, she's confessed to everything, I believe we should torture her, for all her horrid deeds, such as sailor moon and her character on Gundam wing, she was stalking that Heero guy… However she was lying about the video."

"Indeed Vegeta, she has done many terrible things… ha, I got the perfect punishment!" Shin said happily.

"What?" Kabito asked. Vegeta and Bardock were also intrigued.

"We'll censor her and send her to Funimation, where her new name will be Barbara! I can't think of a worse punishment then sending her to that hellish place!"

Everyone's eyes lit up, "That's perfect!" they said in unison. Goku came stumbling around and fell pathetically on the floor, crying about how he had everything and now it is all gone. Vegeta had an evil idea. "Say, Kakarot can go with her …watch this!" Vegeta looked at Baba, whom was still blabbering her confessions " Hey, Troll dung! Darren's here, yes it seems after hitting rock bottom after Sailor moon was canceled, Darren became a hobo and got a facelift, your dream boat has returned to you!"

Baba's eyes sparkled and her and Goku were instantly transferred to funimation's studio, where they were working on fucking up more animes.

Vegeta smiled and looked to Shin "Just like the Mounties we always get our man!"

Shin blinked in surprise, "Baba was a man!?"

Vegeta looked to Shin. "Well, yeah…

"By the way out of curiosity, what will Goku's new name be?"

Vegeta smirked, "His name will be… Zero, or maybe Ace, wait Max is perfect!

…. What in the hell is…?" (Author's Factoids: When dragon ball first came to America it was back in the 80's I believe, before Vidmark, and Funimation. Goku's name was Americanized; he became Zero, but they still kept the Kamehameha wave the same! Bulma's was like Buffy or Brenda something like that… Yamcha's was funny too, but I can't remember it, I think it was like Ken or Steve!)

Everyone turned to see baby Marron walking around unsupervised, "Whose child is this?"

Everyone shrugged their shoulders, "I have no clue, perhaps, we should send her to Funimation too!" said Shin sadistically, but by then Marron mysteriously disappeared.

Bardock looked displeased, ignoring the lone infant to question Vegeta. "Why did you send my son away with that gnome, and why did you bring all these guys in white!"

Vegeta looked at him with a dull expression, then order the men in white to take Bardock to the psychiatric ward. "Take him away, no one questions my authority!"

Shin was about to detest Vegeta's actions, until Vegeta glared at him; the he turned to jelly and backed down, twiddling his thumbs.

THE END?

" NO! My god that baby was the one who killed everyone!" cried Vegeta… just kidding!

Next, time…how it really happened! Very weird chapter, but hell the whole story is bizarre…