Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ Crossing the Boundaries ❯ At Long Last ( Chapter 19 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
Nearly two years have passed since the morning I'd woken to find myself alone in that bed. Sometimes it seems as though it was only yesterday, and others I would swear it was a lifetime ago. Of everything that occurred during those long months, it's that single morning which would constitute the most prominent change in my life.

As I sit here now, recounting this story, I feel so many things. Over and over I have to ask myself if it really happened, but it's a foolish question. All I have to do is peek over the edge of my notebook to see the proof tottering unsteadily through the long grasses of my backyard. He took his first steps just a few days ago.

The sunshine gleams in his hair, which is black as night with the faintest violet highlights running here and there through the silky tresses. He'd been born with more hair than any infant I'd ever seen, and it all stood straight up in little spikes over his tiny head. Even now it hasn't quite grown out enough to lay flat - a real tribute to his Saiya-jin heritage.

The color of his eyes is my own, pale blue giving way to gray in the right mood or light. The rest of his features favor his father's side - from the slightly pointed nose to the smirk that crosses his lips when something doesn't go his way. It's those times when I wonder what he'll be like as he grows older. He's only one quarter Saiya-jin, but I've learned well just how dominant those genes can be. It would be a lie if I said that I never fear he might have inherited Vegeta's personality.

For now though, he is simply my little angel...my pride and joy. Such a beautiful child and a budding genius! Perhaps I'm just a touch biased. It can't be helped. He's everything I'd ever dreamed and so much more. Who could have imagined that so much pain and worry would result in something so precious?

The pregnancy was hard. I won't lie. I'd been confined to my bed practically from day one. Bulma wouldn't have it any other way once she'd heard the details of my first loss. It was Goku who'd told her what had transpired while they'd been in my world, and she'd immediately tracked me down and chased me off to bed. I could see the redness in her eyes and face and knew that she'd been crying.

Vegeta's interest in me grew once he'd caught wind that I was again carrying a potential heir, yet still he seemed reluctant to become too attached. I suppose he was waiting for me to screw up. In a way, he couldn't be blamed. I'd healed enough by then to realize just how much that loss had truly affected the proud prince.

In the last eighteen months, I've discovered things about Vegeta that have completely redefined the way I view him. On that very first morning, once I'd found the courage to wander from the strange bed in which I'd awoken, I'd found myself in the kitchen of Vegeta and Bulma's home. The couple had been standing near the back door locked in a tender embrace and oblivious to my presence.

It was strange to see the Saiya-jin who'd caused me so much grief showing such open affection for...anyone. I'd practically convinced myself that he was incapable of feeling anything that strong besides rage. Funny how easily our perceptions can be thrown off when we don't know the whole story.

I'd snuck back to the room, undetected, and after some time Trunks returned.

~*~Flashback~*~

" You're awake. Are you feeling okay? "

Trunks sounded nervous as he stood in the doorway with a tray of food in his hands. He was worried how I'd tolerated the mysterious journey that had returned him to his home and brought me along for the ride. Neither of us had ever anticipated that this is how the situation would turn out. It'd always been assumed that he'd either stay in my world or vanish with the others just as he'd arrived.

" I'm fine. I think. "

He moved to the side of the bed and set down the tray while glacing at me almost warily. I knew right away there was something bothering him, but the thought of asking scared me. Did I really want to know if he was so worried about telling me?

" Are you hungry? " he asked gesturing to the tray which was brimming with a colorful array of foods. His gaze met mine briefly, then he sighed, " Guess not. "

We were both silent for a few minutes - neither knowing what to say. Given the inclination, I could have found the answer, but I really wasn't feeling so inclined. At this point, I hadn't even allowed myself the opportunity to consider that I would never see my friends or family again.

" Where is everyone? " I asked quietly when the silence became too uncomfortable.

" Ah, Gohan went to see Videl and Pan, but they'll be back in little while. He's really anxious for you to meet them. Goku and Goten went home, too. My dad's out back...training. "

I couldn't stifle the little smile that came with that final statement. Not even a day had passed and Vegeta was already falling back into his routine. Fighting. Fighting. And more fighting. Secretly I hoped it would help alleviate his lousy mood. If nothing else, it would give him something to do besides traumatizing me. Either way, I was grateful.

" Oh and my mom wants to meet you. "

The relief shifted instantly to dismay, and I felt my stomach turn slightly. Bulma. Gods, how would she react to me? I'd misjudged everyone else so far; what would she really be like? It was unsettling to think about, knowing what I'd seen on the show. Bold and outspoken...all I could picture was a louder, feminine version of Vegeta bearing down on me and shouting about the tramp who'd stolen her little boy. " I..." That was the extent of my reply. What could I say? Sorry Trunks, I refuse to meet your mother because she scares the hell out of me? I didn't think that would go over very well.

" If it helps, " he said with an uncharacteristically playful grin, " she's not quite as bad as my father. "

~*~End Flashback~*~

All in all, it hadn't been as awful as I was anticipating. She didn't yell at me, but she was somewhat cold at first. I don't think she knew what to make of the whole situation...or of me. It was like the kid who comes home from college for the holidays and announces that, while he was away, he ran off to Vegas and got hitched. Sorry I forgot to call, Mom, but it was so unexpected...

Later that day Gohan had returned with his little family in tow. The way Videl reacted to me, I knew that her husband had already filled her in on most of the details of their time away, and I tried not to blush as she hugged me and welcomed me profusely, offering to help in any way that she could.

Pan meanwhile, was openly expressing her curiosity with question after question about where I came from and how I thought this had all happened. It was a little overwhelming. I managed alright, but it was something of a relief when Videl offered to take her daughter to visit grandpa Goku - an offer the fiesty girl could not refuse. With a shout and a wave she was out the door.

Over the next few days I met all of the people who would become a regular part of my life. Bra, Krillin and Eighteen, Yamcha, Piccolo...not a single one was exactly what I'd expected, but it didn't surprise me any more. It was impossible to dismiss all those preconcieved notions gathered in my years of fandom, but I managed to set them aside enough to see everyone for who they were as opposed to what I thought they should be.

Through all of this, there remained the nagging feeling that Trunks knew something I didn't...something important. I tried desperately not to think about it. I didn't want to know. The change in reality was enough to contend with; I didn't need bad news on top of it.

It was a week to the day after we'd arrived in his world. Trunks came out to the backyard where I was trying to finish a poem I'd started the day before we'd come here. I'd become distracted by the colors of the sunset and didn't notice his presence until he was right next to me.

~*~Another Flashback~*~

" We need to talk. "

The sound of his voice startled me, and not because I wasn't expecting it. He sounded so serious, so concerned, that my heart skipped a beat. He'd obviously decided that it was time for me to discover what had been bothering him for the last seven days.

" Please, " I begged, " I know something's wrong. I've known it since we got here. This is all still so new, and I don't think I can handle anything more right now. Can't it wait? "

Trunks frowned, " I'm afraid not. Waiting isn't going to make this any easier to hear. "

My tablet and pen fell to the grass as I tried to steady myself for whatever he was going to say next. A million thoughts rushed through my mind in those few short seconds. Perhaps he had someone in this world - someone he still wanted to be with, or maybe he'd just flat-out changed his mind about trying to work on our relationship. Then again, maybe the Earth was in danger of being attacked. Now there was a problem that I'd never imagined I would have to worry about.

He took a deep breath; the anxiety he felt was affecting me despite his effort to hold it back. " You're... " he hesitated, but I sensed what was coming before I actually heard the word, " pregnant. "

" No! " I argued. " That can't be! It can't..."

" Calm down. You've got to calm down. " He kneeled in front of me grasping both of my shoulders and forcing me to look at him, " It's going to be alright. "

" No, it's not alright! What if - if...I can't do this again, Trunks! It's too much of a risk! How could you let this happen? "

It was the epitome of stupid comments. I felt him tense both physically and mentally, and when I dared to meet his gaze, I could see the hurt and anger I'd caused reflected in his eyes. " I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean that, " I gasped shocked by my own cruelty.

He stood slowly, looking down at me, and I could feel his indecision. Part of him wanted to leave, and part of him wanted to blast the nearest object into oblivion. Still, something held him back. As deeply as I'd cut him with that remark, there existed within him a minute understanding of why I'd said it. Through our bond he could feel the intensity of my fear, and it was that alone which kept him calm.

" My father and Goku already know, " he continued in a low, even tone, "and I think it would be wise to tell the others as well. "

I wrapped my arms around my knees and hugged them tightly - nightmarish images of another miscarriage bombarding my mind. What would I do? What if I was incapable of carrying this child to term? This last year had left me so emotionally damaged that I knew I would never recover if that happened again.

The next thing I knew, Trunks was beside me again. His strong arms wrapped around me, and I clung to him for all I was worth. I could feel his uncertainty - his unconcealed fear and knew that I wasn't alone. There were no sentimental words, no whispered promises, but in his own way he was assuring me that no matter what happened, we'd face it together.

~*~End Flashback~*~

That night we'd told Bulma of the impending arrival, and she'd been hysterical with joy. Vegeta had been present as well, arms crossed, princely smirk neatly in place as he told his mate to "shut-up already, woman". She merely waved a dismissive hand at him, ignoring his dour attitude, and rushed for the phone to share the news with anyone who would listen.

I assume that Goku decided to tell her everything in case things turned out for the worst. He didn't want to diminish her excitement, but he wanted her to have some warning of what could realistically happen. I'm not sure if I agree with his way of thinking because after that, Bulma did nothing but worry.

There was one point during the pregnancy when it seemed that our greatest fears would be realized. I had just entered my fourth month and things seems to be going smoothly. Everyone was after me constantly to rest, and I'd gotten more than one lecture from Bulma, Chi Chi, and Videl about how important it was that I stay off my feet - especially following those occassions when I'd been so bold as to go for a brief walk alone on the property of Capsule Corp. You'd think I'd been moving concrete blocks the way they behaved!

Maybe it seemed that I was simply careless, or perhaps they thought that I was igorant to the risks of my condition. In truth, I'd spent the passing weeks trying to numb myself to the situation - trying to convince myself that I didn't care what happened, and that particular day I only wanted a few moments to pretend that my life was normal again.

The evening air had been cool and heavy with the scent of autumn. The trees hadn't yet begun to change, but it wouldn't be much longer before they were once more dressed in their vibrant fall attire.

Apparently this world runs on a different timeline than my own. I had left behind the winter, arriving in the humid warmth of mid-summer. Those days had come and gone so quickly though...giving way to the season of transformation and impending rest. In my mind it was not the most hopeful of omens. Despite my love for the stunning leaves and crisp weather, the fresh promise of spring and new beginnings would have been more readily welcomed under the circumstances.

The sky grew darker, mirroring the tone of my thoughts, as I pondered whether or not my mother had discovered my disappearance. In the time that Goku and the others had stayed with me, it had been a constant battle to keep their presence a secret. Frequent phone calls and visits to her home kept her at bay, and when I'd run away - let's just say that I'm well known for vanishing unexpectedly from time to time. I believe that Goten did mention that she'd called once or twice...

The sun had sunken below the horizon, and the stars were faintly visible bewteen patches of cloud. I tried to turn my thoughts to other things; things such as my mate. Trunks had become quite attentive over the passing weeks, but we still slept in separate rooms. I hated being apart from him, but I think that he was afraid of hurting me somehow.

We'd finally begun getting to know one another. Though I'd seen everything in his heart on the night we'd come here, it just wasn't the same as talking to him about them. His favorite things, which of those memories meant the most to him, and what he hoped for the future, were just a few of the many details he shared. We were growing closer, and I was elated. If it weren't for my relentless fears about the pregnancy, everything would have been perfect.

The pain started out very mildly this time - a small cramp here and there. Immediately I sat down to rest beneath a tall tree, but it didn't stop the pains. After a few minutes I'd begun to panic - afraid to try and make it back to the house and afraid not to. If I screamed, no one would hear since I was a fair distance from the house, and Trunks had gone somewhere to train with Vegeta and the others.

My saving grace was the bond I shared with my mate. He'd felt my distress and knew right away what was happening. That had been the day when I found out that Goku really could do the instant transmission. If it weren't for that technique, I can't imagine what may have happened.

A trip to the hospital, an injection of this and that, and they managed to stop the contractions. No one lectured me. Not even Bulma, but it was frighteningly obvious that she wanted very badly to do it. Someone must have warned her ahead of time that it was probably best not to add any further stress to my delicate emotional state. Needless to say, that was the end of my freedom for the next four months. They'd even hired a doctor to come to the house so I wouldn't have to travel into the city for appointments.

Our son came into the world four weeks early. I was scared beyond belief as the labor pains came hard and fast one grey evening in February. There would have been no hope of stopping it this time, but the doctor assured everyone that things would turn out fine. Four weeks was a little earlier than he would have liked, but the infant was strong and healthy.

The actual labor lasted straight through the night and into the following morning. At times I would have sworn that I was dying, and at others I was wishing that I had. As painful as the baby's kicking had been during the pregnancy...this was infinitely worse. Here and there I think that I actually passed out from the pain and exhaustion, but soon the contractions were so strong and close together that there was no reprieve.

Trunks was by my side almost every moment. He was scared by the whole event, and more than once I saw him worriedly questioning his parents or the doctor. Looking back, it still amazes to think how vulnerable he seemed then - or how concerned. Of course, at the time I hadn't been quite so appreciative of his feelings, but looking back now, it was an incredible thing to witness.

Everyone had gathered at the house - Goku and ChiChi, Gohan and Videl, Goten, Krillin and Eighteen, and even Piccolo had stopped by at one point to see how things were going. People scurried in and out of my room, but I was beyond caring. I didn't know how much longer I could survive the torture, and the doctor was becoming concerned that when the time came to deliver the child, I wouldn't have the strength to make it through.

Nearly twenty-four hours after it had all begun, I somehow managed to find the reserves to bring our little boy into the world. There was a moment of silence before his mighty squall erupted - alerting everyone in the house of his arrival.

The doctor placed him in my arms, and he fell silent. His tiny mouth puckered sweetly, and baby blue eyes opened just a bit to allow a quick peek. I let my fingers brush through the mass of jet black hair then touched a round reddened cheek. A small fist with five perfect fingers found it's way out of the blanket in which it'd been wrapped, and I placed a soft kiss against the knuckles and smiled wearily.

I looked up then to see my mate - tears streaming along his face as he looked down proudly at his son. The Saiya-jin warrior made no move to hide those tears or brush them away. That was probably the only time I've ever seen my mate with all of his defenses down...emotions starkly visible on his handsome face.

Carefully I lifted the infant towards him, and at first, he looked surprised. To this day, I don't know why, but a split-second later, he smiled warmly and took the baby into his arms. That image of father and son will stay in my memory for as long as I live. No matter how many times I've seen them together since then, there was something infinitely precious about that moment.

Not two minutes later, I'd passed out from the exertion, so I'd failed to witness Vegeta's initial reaction to his newborn grandson. Trunks told me later that he was sorry I'd missed it - the proud prince had actually commended my ability to birth such a fine heir. It's a shame that the one time Vegeta had something relatively nice to say about me...I'd been denied the opportunity to hear it.

Time passed quickly after that. It took almost two months for me to recover completely; I hadn't realized just how much the pregnancy and birth of a Saiya-jin child had taken out of me until after it was over. Fortunately, I had an army of willing assistants, and none were more appreciated than Trunks who'd begun staying in my room a few days after our son's birth.

At first, he'd slept on a separate futon - a comforting presence during those restless nights when it seemed that his namesake may never sleep more than an hour at a time. Often I'd wake up in the middle of the night to find him sitting in the chair by the window rocking his son back to sleep. It would be difficult to imagine everything we'd been through before then - impossible to think that I'd been afraid of him...run from him and shed so many tears because of him.

Though I should have taken advantage of the time and slept, I would instead lay there and watch them. Sometimes Trunks would whisper quietly telling stories or even singing, and when the infant had dozed off once more, he would lay him in the crib then slip back into his own bed.

There were many times when I'd been tempted to let him know I wasn't sleeping and ask him to come lay with me. It was hard to love him so completely yet be entirely incapable of expressing that feeling in any way. Things had progressed so far since we'd come here, and I didn't want to jeopardize it. So, I remained silent - fooling myself into thinking that he'd never know.

But one morning, about three months after the baby's birth, I'd awoken to find Trunks laying next to me...one arm draped across my waist. After that, he just always seemed to end up there. We never talked about the subtle shift in our relationship, but I believe we both noticed that a whole different facet had been revealed with that developement. I could have pried into his thoughts and feelings to find out what had prompted the change, but it didn't seem necessary to do so. Trunks knew how I felt, and if the time came that he returned those feelings, he'd tell me in his own way. I'd learned to be patient when it came to my mate.

As for the others, well, Vegeta treated me almost civilly after the baby was born. I would recieve a brief nod when he entered the room, and he'd ceased to make snide remarks in my presence. He wasn't exactly friendly, but I didn't expect much more from the Saiya-jin no Ouji. It's simply who he was, and like it or not, I had to accept it.

Bulma, always the doting grandmother, possessed an extremely over bearing attitude when it came to our child. There were times when I would practically have to throw her out of the room just to have a moment alone with my son. I know that she meant well, but Bulma has a tendency to be very condescending about things - even if she doesn't mean it. Sadly, I'm not the sort who takes well to being talked down to, but usually I managed to get rid of her without too much fuss.

Goku and ChiChi were frequent visitors, though not as frequent as Gohan's little branch of the Son family tree. Gohan and I had maintained a close relationship even after returning, and sometimes I felt as though he and Videl had, in a way, adopted me into their family.

This was something that I came to understand a little better after talking to Videl one day last week. She confided that they'd always planned to have more children, but due to complications after Pan's birth, she'd been unable to carry another pregnancy to term. It was a crushing blow to the couple, and Videl still carried a lot of guilt about it. After sharing this, she'd smiled then patted my hand in motherly fashion and said how glad she was that Trunks Jr. and I had come along. I hadn't known what to say except thank you and that I was touched she felt that way. We've been very close ever since.

The last detailed update that I have to include would be Goten's. He'd come to the house when T.J. was born then showed up about once a week afterwards to catch up with Trunks about this and that. He was always friendly - asking how I'd been and if anything was new. Still, there always seemed to be a barely restrained tension in his face and in his stance - as though he could never quite relax. I don't know if Trunks knew what was going on with his best friend, but he'd never mentioned a word about it to me.

About two and a half months later, his visits became more sporadic until we rarely saw him at all. I'd asked Videl if she knew what was happening with him, but she hadn't a clue. ChiChi and Goku had been worried for some time over their youngest son, and even Gohan hadn't been able to find out what was causing his brother so much grief. Apparently this was something that had begun a short time before they'd vanished into my world and only contimued to grow worse since their return.

The last time we actually saw Goten was over three months ago, at Pan's birthday party, and from what I heard later on, it had been a difficult task for his parents to convince him to go. For the entire length of his stay, Goten had remained off in a corner by himself, engaging in idle chit chat if anyone came over to him. At one point I'd seen Trunks talking with him - gesturing anxiously and shaking his head.

It'd only been a short conversation, but it had left my mate edgy for quite some time afterwards. As Trunks walked back across the room, I'd managed to catch his gaze, but he only shook his head and looked away. He obviously knew something about what was going on but didn't feel comfortable enough with me to share.

He'd only begun to calm down when Goku came into the room carrying the biggest cake I'd ever seen. It must have been a full sheet in size and was laiden with rich red and white frosting and twelve red candles flickering in the mid-afternoon breeze.

The remainder of the evening had gone smoothly, but I sensed that Trunks was still distracted by his earlier interaction with Goten. When the last guests had finally begun gathering their things to leave, I'd retrieved my son from his Grandma Bulma, who'd been showing him off yet again, and caught a glimpse of Trunks and Goten saying good-bye to one another.

Even from that distance, Goten had seemed irritated. A deep frown etched his face, and when he turned to go, there was an abruptness to the movement that surprised me. Never, in all the time I'd known him, had Goten behaved so coldly...especially with Trunks. Goten was quiet, seemingly shy, but that behavior was so unlike him. It worried me.

Later that night I'd tried to talk to Trunks about it, but things didn't go nearly as well as I'd hoped they would.

~*~ Flashback ~*~

" Goten doesn't seem like his usual self lately, " I said folding one of T.J.'s clean sleepers while peeking at my mate from the corner of my eye.

Trunks tensed visably at the comment, and a small frown settled on his lips. " He's got a lot going on right now. "

" Oh? Anything in particular? " I laid the garment in a drawer and pulled another from the basket trying to appear nonchalant. Through the bond I could tell that he was irritated by the question, but why it bothered him so much was beyond my reach. What could he be hiding...and why was he so determined to keep it a secret from me?

" Personal stuff, " he replied shortly slamming a drawer shut.

His reaction startled me so badly that I almost dropped the tee shirt I'd been folding. I turned to stare at him trying to ignore the sense of impending chaos that begged me to keep my mouth shut. He was so sensitive about the issue, but in that moment, my curiosity outwitted my common sense, " The way you're acting, you'd think you were having problems instead of Goten. "

The comment earned me an icy glare. " I really don't think it's any of your business, " he snapped, " either way. " Tossing a clean shirt over his shoulder, he headed for the bedroom door.

" You can be such an idiot! " I shot back rising from the bed. " I don't know why I bother to care when you obviously don't! " It wasn't rational to pick a fight with Trunks over the matter, but I couldn't seem to keep my mouth shut. (In retrospect, I think it had something to do with the bond as well as his odd behavior regarding the situation. Whatever it was, I'd handled it very poorly.)

He spun towards me, eyes narrowed, " What is that supposed to mean? "

" Something is obviously wrong with Goten. Videl said he started acting weird right before you guys disappeared. Since we came back, he keeps getting worse, and his family is scared sick about it! I barely know him, and I can see that he's in terrible shape. How do you think they feel, Trunks? Huh?

Now here you are...I know he's told you something. If he has such a huge problem, then the people who care about him have a right to know! Someone has to help him before something worse happens! "

Trunks took a step forward, " I am trying to help him, " he growled.

" Well, you're doing a lousy job of it! "

The expression that crossed his face was indescribable, " You don't have any idea what you're talking about, and I won't betray my best friend's confidence because you don't know how to mind your own god damn business! "

At that I glared coldly at my mate, suddenly tired of his emotional walls...tired of loving him with no love in return. I'd birthed his child, forgave him everything he'd done, and left behind my entire world for him, yet he still could not find it within him to confide in me. Enough was enough. " There was a time when that statement would have hurt me, but I just don't have the strength to care anymore. You keep your secrets, Trunks. Yours, Goten's, and whoever the hell else is precious enough for your concern, because you're right. It's none of my business, and I'm done caring. "

His eyes widened slightly with those final words. Certainly he didn't expect his loyal, all-forgiving mate to say such a callous thing. In all of our time together, I'd never denied the intensity of my feelings for him, but just then, I meant what I said. Why should I care so much when he did nothing but fight me?

" Fine. "

The word was meant to disregard me and everything I'd said. He'd hoped to pass it off as nothing, but there was a slight tremor in his voice that denied the casual harshness of it. Somehow I had struck a nerve.

~*~ End Flashback ~*~

The weeks following that argument were tense. Trunks had ceased to sleep in our bed, and most nights he didn't bother to come into the room at all. Usually I didn't realize this until morning since he'd still been out long after I'd collapsed into a restless sleep. If that wasn't upsetting enough, he'd begun shutting me out again - to the point that at times, while he was gone, I couldn't feel him at all.

I'd considered talking to Videl about the situation, but there was so much she didn't know about the things I'd been through with my mate. Though we'd often talked about the earlier days of my relationship, there were many details that I'd never revealed. She was a dear friend, but I couldn't bring myself to tell her that after all this time, I didn't know if Trunks even loved me.

Gohan knew more about our tumultuous past, but something restrained me from involving him. Partly it was because the argument had begun over Goten's problems, and I didn't want to remind him of how serious the situation was becoming. Aside from that, I just didn't want to burden him with my troubles. It didn't seem right after the things he'd already done for me. Besides, with work, his family, and everything else, Gohan had enough to deal with.

At my wits' end, I turned, as I so often do, to my writing. I felt that if I could write it all out, then maybe I could figure out some course of action. I had to remind myself of how much we'd gone through to get here, and how foolish it was to let something like this bring our relationship crashing down around us. All those mistakes - I couldn't let them be in vain.

So, three days ago I'd begun writing the story of my life. How I'd come from being a simple cocktail waitress to living in another world as the mate of a Saiya-jin warrior. How I'd learned to accept people for who they were instead of who I expected them to be, and why fanfiction should only be a basic guideline, instead of a reliable source, for dealing with these situations. You see, the universe is infinite, and there's a lot of things we don't know yet, and a lot more we can't begin to understand. We have to be open and ready to accept pretty much anything, because not accepting it will never change it.

Reliving those events really made me stop and think. Two days after I'd begun, I went to find Trunks and apologize for the misunderstanding - to tell him that I hadn't meant any harm and only wished to help. I'd told him long ago that I didn't expect anything from him, that my love was unconditional, and deep down, I still felt that way. It wasn't easy to live with unrequited love, but that was the vow I had made and intended to stand by.

Trunks had been sitting on the living room floor getting T.J. ready for bed. He'd just returned a short while ago from one of his excursions and hadn't spoken a word to me since he'd been home. I watched as he finished snapping up our son's sleeper, talking quietly to the baby as he did so. Trunks really was a good father. For all of his flaws, that is one thing that I couldn't take away from him.

Bulma had walked into the room, asking if we'd like her to put T.J. to bed, startling both of us as her voice broke the stillness of the moment. Trunks had turned around quickly, his eyes narrowing slightly when he saw me standing there. Without waiting for him to intervene, I accepted Bulma's offer with a polite smile then passed an almost pleading look to my mate.

~*~Yes, another flashback~*~

" Can I talk to you? " I asked softly when Bulma was safely out of earshot. He'd begun to stand, and I was afraid that he was going to leave again. I wanted to end this fight, to try to get things back to the way they were. I couldn't stand the thought that he could hate me. As it stood, I was beginning to worry that he'd found someone else.

The dim light of the living room lamp cast shadows across his face, and for the first time in a long while I was reminded of how stunning he was. The way those loose strands of violet had of falling just so into his eyes...the firm set of his jaw and perpetual little frown that was almost a pout. He stood so confident and strong, arms crossed over his broad chest. It was like nothing in the world could touch him, and suddenly I became deathly frightened that the reason was because he couldn't be touched - that no matter what I did, I would never earn his affection. It was the first time I let myself acknowlege that maybe he would never love me.

" I-I'm s-s-sorry! " I stammed nearly choking on the words because I was fighting so hard to hold back the tears that filled my eyes at the thought. My gaze fell to the floor as my heart pounded loudly in my chest. It'd been nearly three years, and I still couldn't control myself when it came to Trunks. Whether I was angry or sad, a confrontation with the young prince would always reduce me to tears. Did I love him so deeply or was I merely that much weaker than he?

He sighed but didn't respond, and I felt foolish. It seemed doubtful that I would ever learn how to approach him...to communicate with him in a way that didn't lead to disaster. I was too emotional. He was too distant. It didn't make for a promising combination.

" Do you regret me being here? " I blurted without thinking and immediately felt the hot rush of blood to my face.

" Regret? " he repeated. To my dismay, he seemed to stop and think about the question for a brief minute. " No. I don't regret it, " he eventually replied.

Grasping at the small bit of hope I could find in that response, I dared to raise my stare from the floor, stealing a quick glance at his face as I did. It appeared that he was still caught up in his thoughts, paying no attention to my curious assessment. I considered trying to use the bond to figure out what he was thinking but realized that he'd know what I was up to long before I managed to find anything out. I would simply have to ask.

I hadn't time to voice the question before he spoke again, " If you weren't here, I'd never have the chance to know my son. "

" Oh. "

The flat, disappointed reply caught his attention because he turned to look down at me. There was confusion in his face, " What's that supposed to mean? "

" Nothing, " I said wearily. " I need to get some sleep. "

I moved to leave the room, resigned to another night alone, but a strong hand on my shoulder stopped me short. Glancing back, I was almost afraid to hear what he had to say. The next thing I knew, I felt the warmth of his lips brushing against mine. The kiss was short, a mere second in time, but it took my breath away nonetheless. Was this his way of forgiving me? Was it an apology for the argument? Whatever it meant, it made my pulse quicken and my heart soar.

" I have a few things to take care of. You don't have to wait up. "

~*~End Flashback~*~

He didn't return that night. I knew because I hadn't been able to sleep a wink. I kept waiting, hoping that he would come to lay with me as he had in the weeks previous to Pan's party, but it was no use. Obviously something more important had stolen him away...again.

By noon the following day, my disappointment had grown to full-blown concern. Since the fight, Trunks had been away a lot, but he'd never stayed out for an entire night. Desperation drove me to ask Bulma if she knew where her son had gone. She'd only said that it wasn't unusual for Trunks to be gone for a length of time and that he was probably with Goten. Something in her tone was unsettling, and her reply brought me no relief.

Two hours later, I decided to call Goku and ChiChi to see if Trunks was there with Goten as Bulma had suggested. The idea of "checking-up" on my mate didn't settle well with me, but my options seemed limited. I just wanted to make sure that he was alright. That's what I'd convinced myself of anyhow. Despite his sudden change in attitude the previous night, I was still tempted to believe that he'd found someone else - someone that he stayed with because he chose to, not because he was obligated to. Someone that he loved.

It was Goku who answered when I finally found the nerve to pick up the phone. After asking how the couple had been since we'd last spoken, I tentatively inquired whether Trunks was at their house. There was a long pause on the other end before Goku explained that Trunks had come over to see Goten last night, but the two of them had left shortly after and hadn't returned. I thanked him quietly and hung up the phone at a loss as to what I should do next.

The remainder of the day found me dazed with exhaustion and worry. Sometime in the evening I'd gone to the kitchen to get T.J. his dinner and found Bulma whispering something to Vegeta. She'd stopped talking the moment I walked in, and they'd both looked at me with odd expressions on their faces. If that hadn't been awkward enough, Trunks had picked that exact moment to walk through the back door.

I'd frozen in my tracks, the baby's bowl clenched in one hand, and I couldn't decide whether to run over and hug him or throw the bowl at his head and start screaming. He'd glanced uneasily around the room, deftly avoiding my gaze before stepping inside and closing the door behind him. The tension radiating from him was impossible to ignore, and after his extended disappearance, it wasn't difficult to figure out why.

Bulma welcomed him home with an overly exuberent greeting, trying to pretend that everything was fine, but the situation wouldn't be so easily denied - not if Vegeta had anything to say about it. He crossed his arms over his chest, shot his son a dark look, and demanded to know where he'd vanished for so long.

~*~The Final Flashback~*~

Trunks met his father's glare without hesitation, " I had some things to take care of, and they took longer than I thought they would. "

" You know, you can't go running off every time Kakarrot's brat has a problem that he can't handle himself. "

An irritated scowl crossed Trunks' face at the mention of Goten. " What are you going to do, father, ground me? " The sarcasm was heavy in his tone, and I could see the tension in his stance and the firm set of his jaw.

" You have a mate and a child to take care of now, boy. Your woman's been miserable all day wondering where you've been. "

He gestured towards me, and I immediately felt the blood rise in my cheeks. My hand gripped more tightly onto the bowl, and I dropped my eyes to the floor when I noticed Trunks' gaze shift to me. No doubt, he'd think that I'd been running around the house all day whining about his absence, and that wasn't the case at all. Damn Vegeta. Even when he was on my side, he was against me!

I could still feel Trunks' stare locked on me when he spoke next, " If she has something to say to me, she can say it herself. It's really none of your business what happens between me and my mate. "

" Vegeta dear, " Bulma interjected when she saw the prince's eyes narrow dangerously, " I think we should let the kids handle this. They're grown-up with a baby of their own, and I'm sure they can work this out without our help. " She layed a hand against his arm as she spoke, obviously trying to prevent a blow-up. Bulma...the great mediator.

" Woman, " he retorted sharply, " it's apparent that you've never seen these two try to work anything out! "

My jaw dropped slightly, and I couldn't stop myself from glancing up at Trunks who had a similar expression on his face. Our eyes met for a split second before we both looked away in complete embarassment. Though it was true we'd had communication issues in the past, there were a lot of strange circumstances surrounding those issues...and, well, we'd both matured since then. Who was he to say that we couldn't handle our own problems?

From the other room came the cry of a hungry, impatient, Saiya-jin infant, still waiting for his dinner. I started at the sound, finally noticing the dull ache in my hand from the death-grip I'd had on the bowl. I moved towards the counter, but before I could take two steps, Bulma was there removing the bowl from my hand, " Regardless, they have to learn sometime, " she said airily and went about getting T.J.'s meal.

I blinked, " I can... "

" Nonsense, " she interrupted waving me away and taking a small spoon from the drawer, " the two of you need to straighten this mess out right away before it gets any worse. There's no reason Vegeta and I can't handle feeding our grandson while you and Trunks go talk. "

Vegeta responded to the comment by rolling his eyes and mumbling something under his breath that I couldn't quite make out, but it was probably better that way. I doubt it was anything that would have made me feel better about this upcoming discussion with his son.

" Come on, " she insisted marching over and grabbing Vegeta's arm in her free hand, and, much to my surprise, he reluctantly followed her out of the kitchen.

Silence descended over the room. My eyes traced the winding pattern of blue and gray laced into the floor tiles as my mind tried to grasp at something intelligent to say. I was furious with him for leaving and for staying away, especially after he'd kissed me and lead me to believe that everything was alright again. Still, I didn't want to yell at him anymore. I'd learned that he didn't react well to being attacked that way, and after Vegeta's remark, I didn't want this to escalate to a full-out battle. There had to be a reasonable way to figure out what was happening and settle things.

" I don't blame you for being mad, but this has nothing to do with you. "

I had to bite my lip to stop myself from snapping at him, but even though I waited before replying, there was still a bitterness in my voice, " As much time as you spend away from here lately, I'd have to argue that statement. "

" You don't understand... "

" Of course I don't understand. You never take the time to explain. After all this time, you don't care enough to confide in me about anything. "

" That's not true! " he exclaimed, and I was shocked by the conviction in his voice. " You know more about me than practically anyone. "

" Do you honestly believe that? " I demanded trying to keep my voice low. " Most of what I know is what I learned through our bond... in those few times that you ever really opened it up. And yes, you've told me things aside from that, but you've never ever let your defenses down...never relied on me to help you with anything, " I felt the words catch in my throat. This was dangerous territory, but I knew there was no turning back. It had ceased to be about where he'd spent the last twenty-four hours and become something infinitely more important. " Tell me, Trunks, tell me the truth...do you feel anything more for me than obligation? Do you think you can ever get past how this all started? "

" What do you want from me? " he said quietly. " What do you want to hear me say? "

My heart pounded painfully in my chest at the sadness woven into those questions. He sounded lost and broken, like a child who's best friend just moved away, and like always, I was helpless to ease his sorrow. I couldn't grasp what hidden grief had caused it. The only conclusion that I could draw was the one I had always feared most.

Raising my eyes to face him, though it hurt almost more than I could bear, I said, " It doesn't matter what I want to hear. After everything we've been through, if you can't look at me now and tell me that you feel something, then you'll never be able to do it. But how can I blame you? " I hesitated then, my calm fascade quickly deteriorating, " I loved you before I ever knew you, but in your eyes I'll never be more than something that was convenient in a moment of weakness. "

To my surprise, he crossed the kitchen, closing the distance between us with a few long strides, though it seemed like a lifetime. For an endless moment, he stared down at me silently. His beautiful cobalt eyes seemed haunted, and I longed to know what secret thoughts lay within their depths. " Is that really what you believe? " he whispered hoarsely, the voice that I loved so dearly strained with unspoken emotion.

" What else can I believe? "

He raised one hand, trembling slightly, and brushed a lock of hair from my face...it hesitated there against my cheek. His eyes were misty, but not a tear fell to betray him. " Over and over I try to protect you from getting hurt, and I only end up hurting you more. Just when I think that I'm doing the right thing, I realize that I wasn't even close. My entire life has been spent trying to be stronger...it was never really a matter of choice. I don't really know how to be vulnerable. "

I couldn't bring myself to respond to what he'd said. If I'd tried, I would have broken down completely. But then he leaned closer, his lips brushing over mine in the most tender kiss I'd ever known and whispered gently, " I will never know what forces in existence brought me to your world, but I have never regretted it for a second. And if Kami came to me now and offered to change it all, I wouldn't even give it a thought. Never think for a moment that I don't want you here, because I ...I do love you. "

~*~ End of the Final Flashback ~*~

Roused from her memory of the previous night, the young woman placed her notebook aside, a content smile gracing her lips as she saw her mate come into view. Goku had shown up at the house early that morning wanting to talk to Trunks, and it seemed that they'd finally returned. She stood from the chair and moved to greet him, but the expression on his face made her falter. " Is...something wrong? " she asked hesitantly though she already knew the answer to the question.

He took her hand and pulled her close, merely holding her there for several minutes. When he drew back, she caught a glimpse of Goku standing outside the back door of the house. He caught her looking and dropped his gaze to the ground before turning and walking back into the house.

Her unease grew to an uncontrollable fear, and she was instantly reminded of the day that Goku had told her of the miscarriage of her first child. Frantically, her mind sought to guess what he was about to say. Trunks was here with her, and T.J. had gone down for his nap a short while ago. Had something happened to Goten? She couldn't begin to imagine why Trunks' eyes were so dark and his handsome face so grim. " Trunks, what's going on? What happened? " she demanded gripping desperately at his shirt.

" King Kai contacted Goku this morning, and it seems that there's a new threat to the Earth. We have to leave immediately... "

Author's Notes: Um, first of all, please don't kill me for ending it this way. *laughs* I couldn't help it. This story never really screamed "happy ending"...ne? *hides behind a chair* I know it's something of a cliffhanger as well, but it seemed appropriate. "Our" story will go on for many more years, so it doesn't really end persay. As for some of the unanswered questions such as what was going on with Goten, what happens once Trunks goes off to fight, and what becomes of Trunks' little namesake...that story may or may not come to be one day. My muse works in strange ways.

I can say honestly that I hope no one is disappointed with this final chapter. I may have rushed it slightly at the end because I felt awful for delaying an update for so long. I knew when I finished the previous chapter that there would be only one more, and here it is. It kind of pulls everything together in a brief look at what occured after "I" arrived in his world. The different relationships, major events, and varying emotions of the time. Truthfully, it could have been drawn out into several chapters, but I think it would taken away from it eventually. I don't know...just my humble opinion. *smiles*

Well, I'm off to work on my book and maybe get some sleep. My most sincere thanks go out to everyone who took the time to read and review this story...maybe our paths will cross again. Odaiji ni.