Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ Deep Circle ❯ Part 5 ( Chapter 5 )

Hello, LadyKATT! No, that vision didn't mean a thing. Simply see that as a simple argue scene. I don't know why they have been arguing. If it makes easier for you, I can tell that for example we can imagine that they argued because: Goku ate Vegeta's ice cream; Goku kicked Vegeta's butt again; Goku mentioned something about Vegeta's height; Vegeta simply had another tantrum and was screaming at Goku how he hated him or whatever. I really, really didn't hide anything behind this scene. You simply can use your imagination and create any reason you want.

I didn't understand what you meant by `Was it one woman finding out?' You mean it was Bulma or Chichi who smashed the table? No. There weren't any women around, and it was Vegeta who smashed the table. As for the first part of the question - yes, you are right, except Vegeta almost killing Goku (I hope you were talking about Goku, not about the guard) - they just had a small argument (well, a big one would be when Vegeta would blast the whole house to hell or something like that). I didn't expect anyone to dig this up so fast. Oh, well, you read very thoroughly ;)

 

Deep Circle by chayron (lttomb@yahoo.com) (beta-read by Vegeta's Mate)

 

Disclaimer: I don't own DBZ. I'm not making any money of this fic.

Warnings: Yaoi, male/male. Goku/Vegeta.

 

Part 5

 

He moaned, twisted to the side, his hand grasping fistful of sheets. His mouth opened again to release a whimper. He shifted again, moving his body into a different position, his nails scratching over the fabric, hips starting to slowly rock back and forth.

 

Goku woke up in a daze, his mind still hardly telling the real world from dreams. He was only aware of his aching need.

 

He reached under the covers, shivered at his own touch. Hard.

 

His body was telling that it was way too long since the last time it had relief. He teasingly, slowly ran his fingers from the base to the head, making his body quiver then enclosed his shaft with his palm, making him buck instinctively. After several strokes the same hot, and dreamy daze came back to him even as the pleasant movements of his hands were waking his body up.

 

He pushed his underwear away and sat down while spreading his legs slightly. He proceeded to stroke himself, his other hand softly fondling the sacks.

 

He loved that feeling when the lazy pleasure would start to turn into hot urge from where usually was no turning back, only the road straight up, before it would fall downwards.

 

He hissed through his teeth, hardly able to keep himself mute, as the road seemed to begin going straight up. His movements were becoming frenzy and desperate, his breath coming in short gasps. Shortcut.

 

He arched, his hips jerking forward as his mind was buried in a haze of lustful nebula and swirling stars.

 

Goku leaned his head back at the wall. He deeply inhaled several times trying to regulate his breathing. He wiped his hand with the sheet, stared at the wet spot on the sheet for some time then decided to take a shower.

 

After the shower Goku wrapped a white towel around his waist and went looking for clothes Vegeta told he'd give him. After opening the closet Goku didn't feel surprised a bit that Vegeta kept his word. Sadly, though, Vegeta didn't share his taste for vivid and bright colors. Blue, white, black, navy, beige, jade and several red colors. Mostly training suits, several sets of armor. Almost everything was tight as the Saiyans liked. Well, he wasn't against showing off as long as those clothes didn't rub him in non appropriate places.

 

Goku chose a navy combat suit with a black armor. Holding the clothes in his hand he looked at the mirror. He spotted a tall, dark haired Saiyan looking back at him. Goku let the towel slide from his waist to the ground.

 

He looked at his body differently this time. Pressed his palm to his stomach, brushed over the taut muscles. Stared in the mirror seeing the creature in it for the first time. Turned away, confused. But then turned back. He observed himself once again.

 

XXXXX

 

Goku quickly ran to Vegeta's room. He was half-hour late. Vegeta will kill him. What would he say in his defense - sorry, I forgot to look at the clock while masturbating? Nice. And again he didn't eat anything..!

 

Bewildered Vegeta turned around from the window to the door and barked, “You start to piss me off! It's only your first day, and you…”

 

“I'm not really your bodyguard,” Goku waved off, cutting the prince's tirade off. “You should have gone where you wanted to without me,” he sat on the same chair he had been sitting when he first came into this room. Goku saw a strange expression cross Vegeta's face. Vegeta was angry but not only that…something else was there…a bit of amusement..?

 

“I wanted to spar, moron. I can't spar with myself, can I?” Vegeta pushed past Goku's chair. “Let's go,” he ordered.

 

They spared again, their spar rhythmically interrupted by Goku's angry growling stomach and Goku's whines for food. Finally, after Goku decided he was too hungry to spar, he ascended and finished the spar in 5 seconds.

 

Vegeta rubbed his bruised shoulder while watching Goku's retreating back disappearing high over the forest. He snorted angrily then shot into the opposite direction from which Goku had gone.

 

Vegeta startled as suddenly Kamala appeared before him. He hardly managed to stop before he collided with Kamala. The Saiyan looked at him expectantly then crossed his arms.

 

“Vegeta, who the hell is he?”

 

Vegeta heaved a sigh. Kamala was his father's mate, but it didn't give him any right to question. Kamala didn't have any real power over him or others. Kamala maybe had his full respect, but not authority over him. Kamala wasn't the first mate the king took thus made him only a bit higher than a common Elite. If his father had wanted he could have given the power to Kamala, but his father didn't want that; and neither did Kamala.

 

“Are you spying on me?” Vegeta crossed his arms too.

 

“No,” Kamala calmly answered, but then smirked. “Only on him. What's going on, Vegeta?” The smirk was replaced by worry.

 

“He's my new bodyguard.”

 

Kamala threw his swaying hair away, behind his back. “Yeah, of course… I saw, Vegeta. He's Legendary too… What's going on?”

 

“Keep it quiet,” Vegeta shook his head.

 

“Quiet?” Kamala laughed in disbelief. “All the damn planet is talking about the second Legendary. I just didn't think that you'd bring him home…”

 

“Where else?” Vegeta shrugged. “He'll be handy…”

 

“Bodyguard…” Kamala chuckled. “Yeah, whatever… Decided to keep him close to watch over him? And I wanted to punish him for sparing with Vedeno…” Kamala laughed bitterly. “Yes, there would have been punishment…only that it would have been for me…” he sighed. “How strong he is? He was holding back, I saw. He is much stronger than you. Where is he from? Where had he been all this time?”

 

“You wouldn't believe me anyway,” Vegeta shook his head, beginning to fly home.

 

Kamala gazed at him for some time then shrugged. “Well, he had a perfect chance to kill us all, and if we are still alive there's nothing to be afraid off…” Then a smirk appeared on his beautiful face. “Wait till his tail grows back…”

 

Vegeta glanced at Kamala over his shoulder. “Don't forget whom you're mated with…”

 

Kamala snorted at Vegeta, his face contorted in anger. “I don't, but maybe if your father would stop fucking those two…” he jumped back as Vegeta's fist stopped millimeters from his nose. Kamala slowly pushed Vegeta's fist from his eyesight. “You're jumpy today,” Kamala gazed at Vegeta's eyes with a straight face. Then Kamala's brow rose. “And I wasn't referring to me - YOU wait till his tail grows back,” he laughed, speeding home, leaving big-eyed Vegeta behind his back.

 

XXXXX

 

After his finally gotten meal Goku followed Vegeta everywhere. Actually that included only Meeting Hall and Dining Room. Dining room, different from what he had expected, was hell - he didn't like it there. Everyone was silently eating their food and pretending that they didn't have anything to say each other. There was some strange nervousness hanging in the air all the time.

 

Meeting Hall was more interesting.

 

All the heads turned to look at Goku as Goku loudly pushed his chair to sit at the table, next to Vegeta. Goku had noticed other bodyguards stay behind the door or situate at the walls in the Meeting Hall. He didn't give a damn actually. Vegeta never went with the rules on the Earth, why should he? He was here with the same rights as they. He was ready to defend this planet at all costs, and the Saiyans'd better get used to him. If the morons thought that he was Elite, he was the one. He was equal to them Elite or third-class. That class-thing was ridiculous, he treated everyone the same and he never cared about that nonsense.

 

“What?” Goku nonchalantly shrugged at them all. He got the urge to put his feet on the table and lean back in his chair like he had seen that in movies - the situation was perfect - fuck them all.

 

Vegeta coldly eyed Goku not impressed at all. He looked at his father, shrugging.

 

“So, you are the second Legendary?” the king comfortably leaned in his seat.

 

“I don't know how about that `second'…” Goku met the king's eyes.

 

The king looked at his silent son again. “I see…” he turned to Goku. “What are your suggestions?” he asked calmly observing Goku.

 

Never in his life Goku had hit the ground so fast. Goku inhaled sharper and let the prince do the talking. He grit his teeth as he almost could see Vegeta and his father exchange amused looks.

 

Goku listened to the endless talks, suggestions and argues. Useless, they didn't know what to do anymore than he himself did. The king used the question just to get him embarrassed and shifty but none of who was present there, had better ideas than he could have suggested if he had chosen to speak then.

 

He didn't know what had gotten into him - something had changed. Not during that night, during several nights. From that time, when Radditz had told him about the Saiyan nature, about male pregnancy, it had been circling in his head, not settling down, drawing small bits and peaces from his mind, obstructing around itself till it became shaped. The shape was still not clear but threatened to change the old one.

 

He knew it would happen. One day or another. That he'd go with it, that he'd forget the guilt and shame he felt and just go with it. It was easy now, very easy - he couldn't deny, he had no reason to deny, he had no wish to deny anymore, he wanted it to come out.

 

He was going with it. The shame and guilt were retreating, letting the shape grow bigger, to expand and thrive. And it felt good, damn good.

 

This night proved the shape getting clearer - he dreamt. One of those wet dreams, but this time instead of unclear faces and merging bodies it was a male. He perfectly could see his naked body and his face. This time he didn't feel shame or guilt after he woke up. He enjoyed it, he went with it, he went with his fantasy, freeing himself from thick and hard boundaries he willingly had put himself in; he was not a human, he didn't need and he didn't want to follow that track anymore.

 

He had never realized that his sexuality had had so much to do with his character, with his comfort zone. After he relieved himself, with Kamala's naked picture in his head, he felt freedom. Maybe he was close to death, maybe he was trapped, maybe the future was uncertain, but he felt freedom. That was him, he didn't want to suppress himself anymore, he went with his nature, with what and who he was; and he had enough power to shut up anyone who'd try to tell him otherwise.

 

Of course, such sudden change shook him to his core. He felt more than a little weird. He knew he became a bit aggressive, even insolent, like someone would be threatening his new shape. It probably was because he always felt threatened, that part of him, that `gay' part. All the magazines, TV, newspapers, all those stereotypes about gay people… It was always in him, that part, he always kept it suppressed, never did what it wanted, refused it, despised it while going with all those stereotypes himself.

 

He had a wife, had two children and was an ordinary man who from time to time used to save the planet on which he lived. He was an ordinary man with a not too bright expression on his face, not too clever; the ordinary man, who was stupid enough to do what society wanted from him, to do what his friends expected from him, what he himself expected from himself as being an ordinary man. Bullshit! He never was ordinary. He never was human! And he probably never would be Saiyan; he hit his head, he grew up on Earth - he was something in between, he was nothing in between, he had a personality, individuality! Saiyan? Human? What difference did it make? Why should he care? Species was not an answer. The answer was what he was, how he felt comfortable, what he wanted. But what did he want? Male/male sex? No, that was not so simple, it was never only about that. He wasn't sure, he didn't know. He was close to something, but he still didn't know if that was what he wanted, because he never exactly knew what he wanted. Vegeta always knew what he wanted, but he never did.

 

XXXXX

 

Vegeta was mad at him. That was no wonder: he agreed to be the prince's bodyguard, but then put on that show in the Meeting Hall. The true was that he himself felt confused. There was no reason for him to act like that, like he did in the Meeting Hall. He just felt angry then, aggressive even because of the looks they had been giving him. Who the fuck were they?! Status? Death didn't care about status. It didn't ask your status before its sharp blade sliced your head off. And he felt angry because of that all bullshit.

 

True, now they and him had bigger problems than status in society, but he already had been fed up with it back on the Earth - Vegeta pissed him off constantly. Third-class this, third-class that. Many times he felt like smashing Vegeta's royal face with his third-class fist to make him shut up finally and see reality. In reality he didn't care about his status, he was just fed up with Vegeta's attitude. And despite he, the lowest crawling being on the Earth, could at any time whip Vegeta's crowned ass, the royal bastard was too damn stubborn to open his eyes.

 

“Goku, what's wrong?” Radditz asked. He raised his eyes from Goku's palm where Goku was holding a bent spoon.

 

Goku sighed, put the bent spoon on the table. He gave an apologetical look to Radditz after he noticed what he did to the spoon. He wanted to talk, badly. But Radditz still took him for a God. God? Can a God be so…human? No, …Saiyan? So…flesh and blood? Now he was too tired to argue with Radditz. All that emotional turmoil had drained him. He just wanted to flee the castle as soon as the meeting ended. He wanted to rest. Even if not to sleep probably, something else - peace maybe; something he couldn't have now. And sleep wouldn't make it better - after he woke up the turmoil would be back. He wanted to sort it out, but he couldn't. You couldn't just deal with your emotions and feelings. Logic never applied to emotions.

 

Logically he should feel happy and freed after he had finally accepted that `creepy' part of himself, but he didn't. He only felt confused. Why? He didn't know himself. Probably he just needed to rearrange his worldview; his behavior, talk, even thoughts too. He was free but not exactly - he was keeping himself down.

 

Logically he should think of how to defeat Cold and Cooler and how to get back home to his children and wife. Wife. Interesting what would Chichi say? He again felt confused. All right, he accepted his `gay' part, but what did it change? Did it change something at all? He'd come back home, live with his children and wife, getting occasional monthly sex. What it would change? He wouldn't simply go looking for a male to fuck, would he? No, he wouldn't. So what has it changed? It would be only worse now - he'd know it's perfectly fine to want a male, but he'd never fulfill that wish. It was like a child and sweets on opposite sides.

 

Goku swore. “Damn it all!”

 

Radditz worriedly observed Goku.

 

Goku sighed and buried his fingers in his spiky hair. “I'm just confused. All this stuff going on has messed me up.”

 

“Confused about what?” Radditz asked. He again filled Goku's glass with crimson wine. Now, when they all thought that the death was close, everyone was pampering themselves as much as they could: used their best wine, stored for centuries; wore their best armors; did what they wanted to do their whole life; lived this minute, now.

 

Goku waved off. “Just things. I don't understand myself…” He drank the wine in one gulp and held out the emptied glass for Radditz to fill it again. After one glass more he decided to talk about that God-thing anyway.

 

Not long after Goku finished talking and Radditz more or less believed him, Goku saw Raaven entering the kitchen.

 

“Hi,” Raaven nodded at them both. He observed the two Saiyans then silently advanced and sat up next to Radditz, his hand diving into Radditz's mane while Radditz was filling Goku's glass.

 

Goku nodded at Raaven. He caught himself thinking that Raaven was very attractive. He thought that probably he should stop drinking.

 

“Hi,” Radditz smiled at Raaven. “How is your father?”

 

“Fine,” Raaven nodded. “Barely alive but he is getting better.”

 

“Did you..?” Raaven turned to Raaven, his face getting an uneasy, awaiting expression.

 

“I didn't need to. He saw,” Raaven shook his head, his long hair brushing Radditz's shoulder. Raaven's eyes lowered to the table's surface. “He knows, he told me never come back.”

 

Radditz closed his eyes. “I'm sorry,” he whispered.

 

“We knew it would be like that anyway,” Raaven shrugged. He grabbed Radditz's wine from the table and bitterly downed it.

 

Radditz sighed. “Yes, we knew, but…”

 

“Shh…” Raaven shushed him with his finger to Radditz's lips. “I want to forget that.” He put the glass down.

 

“Come," Radditz pulled Raaven closer, leaning Raaven at his chest and embracing him. “Stay with me overnight?” he put his head on Raaven's shoulder.

 

Goku watched tears beginning to run down Raaven's beautiful face, watched Radditz embrace Raaven firmer and soothingly kiss the tears away. And then he noticed - a bite mark on Raaven's neck and shoulder conjunction. Radditz mated Raaven.

 

Goku gulped his wine down. He knew now what they had been talking about: Raaven was Elite; Radditz was third-class, with high post, but only third-class. He himself wondered how it happened that Raaven was marked as Radditz's. He still didn't know much about all these things and customs, but it seemed strange even for him. Raaven was stronger than Radditz, wasn't he?

 

Raaven's father disowned him.

 

Goku pushed his glass away and grabbed the whole bottle to swallow several mouthfuls. Interesting what Bardock would say about all this? Interesting what his father thought about that fucking elite-third-class thing? He felt anger engulf him again.

 

“You did the right thing, if the idiot can't understand, then the hell with him. It's his problem. You're not a child anymore. If you felt it was the right thing, it's alright,” Goku said to Raaven then pushed his empty bottle away.

 

Raaven raised his head from Radditz's chest. He observed Goku with his reddish from crying eyes then put his head back. “I'm not a child anymore, but I'm his child.”

 

“Not anymore,” Goku hiccupped.

 

“Goku,” Radditz's voice held a warning note, “you're drunk. Just go to sleep. We'll sort this out between us.”

 

“Ooh, so now you kick me away… And what happened to that God-thing?” Goku snickered.

 

Radditz grit his teeth.

 

“Leave him,” Raaven shook his head, calming Radditz down. “Just stay with me,” he enclosed his fingers over Radditz's ones that were resting on his stomach.

 

Radditz kissed Raaven's dark hair and pulled Raaven higher on him. “Of course.”

 

“Fuck it all,” Goku shook his head. He shakily stood up then stumbling went to the door.

 

TBC