Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ Deep Circle ❯ Part 16 ( Chapter 16 )

Hello, LadyKAT! Thanks for your review!

 

Deep Circle by chayron (lttomb@yahoo.com) (beta-read by achillona)

 

Disclaimer: I don't own DBZ. I'm not making any money off of this.

Warnings: Yaoi (male x male). Goku/Vegeta.

 

Part 16

 

They talked. No, he talked. Kamala was just listening attentively. And Goku felt that with each word he said, his heart felt lighter, calmer. Goku had been slowly turning aggressive during the past few weeks. He never was used to bottling things up; those few weeks made him frustrated, confused and angry.

 

Goku told everything: about family he left behind, about his guilt, about his feelings for Vegeta, about more guilt, about how he was afraid that nobody would notice his feelings for Vegeta, about more guilt, about how he was ashamed and disgusted by himself.

 

Kamala didn't interrupt him once. He was only nodding to encourage Goku to talk.

 

After Goku finished he felt completely tired and spent, but so relieved that both feelings overwhelmed him, not leaving room for anger and frustration. It was a deep night already, he could see some stars shine through his window, and he could see that everyone else in the castle was asleep. Goku didn't actually expect Kamala to say anything or comment. Goku still wasn't sure about the relationship between Vegeta and Kamala. Goku was glad that Kamala listened to him, not jumping up bristling into his eyes and shouting about how perverted he was and telling him not to ever come near Vegeta again. It was enough that Kamala listened to him.

 

Goku wasn't sure why Kamala played that trick on him earlier, but it worked, whatever Kamala wanted to accomplish. Maybe it didn't solve anything, his monologue, but he felt SO relieved.

 

When Kamala spoke Goku was surprised. The Saiyan didn't sound repulsed, angry or loathing, quite the opposite - Kamala sounded understanding.

 

“Had I known that you have problems with that…” Kamala sighed, scratching his scalp. “Fuck, I just thought you were too shy…” Kamala leaned back in his chair. “I should have left you to deal with that by yourself. Now I messed up everything…”

 

“Messed up?” Goku asked. Why messed up? He felt much better now, after talking.

 

Kamala tugged at his own hair painfully. The thing was that Vegeta saw how Goku and Kamala were groping near the kitchen. Kamala purposely wanted to make Vegeta jealous about Goku, and at the same time to show Goku that Goku didn't really care about his earth-born wife. Now Kamala didn't want Goku to know that Vegeta saw them, Goku might have freaked out. “I mean, you finally have accepted your…how you called that…`gay' part, and you already have been halfway to Vegeta. I shouldn't have intervened,” Kamala squirmed.

 

“Halfway?” Goku bitterly laughed. “Stuck-way would be closer…”

 

“Oh, you think so…” Kamala chuckled. “But just think about that: you were starting to get angry, frustrated and…impatient. I noticed those longing gazes at Vegeta getting very promising. Oh, you have been becoming impatient… Hell, I just wanted to speed up the process, I thought you're too shy… But it seems you would have gone after him one way or another. Maybe it would have taken another heat for you or you would have slipped somewhere during Vegeta's heat…” Kamala smiled knowingly at Goku who was chewing on his lower lip, not a word of protest coming from him. “I'm disturbed about that woman of yours. I thought if I pushed hard enough… Hell, I mean, this is only some female…”

 

“Some female?!” Goku snorted. “She's my wife and the mother of my children!”

 

“Yeah, and that's exactly what I meant,” Kamala sighed, rubbing his forehead. “And I find it hard to understand.” Kamala sighed again after Goku frowned at him, “You are a Saiyan, but you comply with Earth customs. Now you are here and you comply with our customs and your nature. You are in such a deep mess and you don't even know that. How the fuck are you going to get away from this shit if you ever go back to the Earth?”

 

Goku blinked. Yeah, really, somehow he didn't think about that. It didn't seem to be much of a problem in comparison to what he was already experiencing. But he WAS playing a double game without realizing it. He never was keen on keeping Earth customs, but he respected some of them; like marriage or divorce. And there was another side - his true nature. But when you put them together, earth customs and his nature, it didn't work. If he were on the Earth he would be a `gay' married to a woman. If he was on Vegetasei he was a married man, which didn't hold any meaning for any of his fellow Saiyans. They didn't understand `marriage', they saw it as some contract for reproducing. One way or another it didn't work.

 

“What should I do then?” Goku just tugged at his spiky hair being completely confused.

 

“And what do you want to do?” Kamala asked. “What do you really want? I know what you want, you know what you want, but can you finally fully accept it?”

 

“There's no use, anyway…” Goku muttered. “What would it solve? I'll go back to the Earth and…” he raised his head as Kamala coughed very loudly.

 

“Are you sure you will ever go back? You don't know how you got here in first place… It might be that all your life you'll be waiting for an illusion, you'd only be wasting your life...”

 

“Well…” Goku said, because actually he didn't have much to say to that. “Hope dies last…”

 

“And I heard someone say that hope is the mother of fools,” Kamala smiled at Goku. “Tell me, Goku, why do you want to go back? Tell me the reason or reasons.”

 

“I want to see my children,” Goku immediately answered. “I miss them very much. I already left them earlier and I don't want it happen again. And I miss my friends: Krillin, Bulma, Yamcha, Tien and Vegeta, of course.”

 

“You miss Vegeta?” Kamala asked a bit confused.

 

“Well…I'm not sure,” Goku honestly answered. “Kind of. I sometimes think of what he did or said. I see things about him in my head and it confuses me. That feels sort of strange, because in reality he never said or did that.” Goku laughed as Kamala looked at him puzzled. “Don't worry, I don't understand it myself.”

 

“So, you don't miss him?” Kamala tried again.

 

“Well…probably not. I'm just sort of curious. I mean this one is completely the same, only a bit more talkative…” he thought a moment, “Not much. They are almost the same.”

 

“So which of them do you want?”

 

“Huh?” Goku blinked.

 

Kamala rolled his eyes. “For fucks sake, don't tell you had never thought about that! Which one of the Vegetas do you want?”

 

“Oh…” Goku blinked again. “I…I think…I don't know,” he looked at Kamala, scared. “That's bad, isn't it?”

 

Kamala shrugged almost at the point of laughing. “So you don't see them as separate persons?”

 

“I…” Goku was confused. “I don't know. Maybe. I sometimes think that there are differences between them, but… I don't know…I think I see them as one, as the same person… I mean, they are two, but…”

 

“Alright,” Kamala interrupted, before Goku could have gotten them both into the bog with his musings. “So you don't call them Vegeta Nr. 1 or Vegeta Nr. 2 when you are thinking about one of them?”

 

“N-No,” Goku shook his head then laughed as he found that funny.

 

Kamala gave a deep sigh. “Goku, first I asked why you wanted to go back home. You have named your children and friends. Where was your precious wife? You didn't mention her once. I have an impression that you didn't get on very well, I'm right, aren't I?” he asked, shifting in his armchair.

 

Goku's tail tip twitched on his waist. He rubbed his burning forehead. “Yes. We always argue. As soon as I'm home it starts… She drives me crazy… And I drive her crazy… It's something… I mean we respect each other, but it's just that we are so different… We talk, we promise and the next day it starts again… Gods, sometimes I just want to pack my things and… If not for Goten…”

 

“And you are still keeping that non working relationship? You are still keeping that…marriage? Because of your child?” Kamala looked at Goku in awe. “I'm impressed, as much with you as with her. That your understanding of loyalty…she's not even your mate…” Kamala smiled. “Sheesh, you will be a perfect mate to someone…” He laughed as Goku blushed. “But tell me,” he got serious, “have you ever thought that you could be much happier separate? That your own kid would be much happier seeing you both happy?”

 

“B-but…”

 

“Is your son very happy to see you fight each day? I'm not offering anything, as you see, I'm just giving you a bit different point of view,” Kamala said. “Is your wife such a bitch that she wouldn't let you to see your child when you wanted?”

 

“But I want to see him all the time…” Goku nervously shifted, as he perfectly knew what they were talking about.

 

“Alright,” Kamala nodded, “let's put it another way… do you have to pretend that you love that woman to see your kid?”

 

“No,” Goku shook his head. “It's…we just agree on some things… She doesn't love me either…”

 

“So, you basically live with that woman to see your son?”

 

“Err…” Goku fidgeted. “Yes, it appears so…”

 

“You never considered taking you son with you?”

 

Goku shook his head. “No, it wouldn't be right. She was raising him all those years while I was gone. The kid didn't even know me when I came back. He loves his mother.”

 

Kamala thought a moment. “So, here we are with that problem about seeing Goten. Where do you live? In a city? Can't you just build your house next to hers? Or would she go crazy?”

 

“N-no,” Goku blinked. “She wouldn't… She probably would be happy, she wouldn't need to clean up after me…”

 

“So what's the problem? You two would finally stop clashing, and your kid would be able to spend his time with both of you, only in separate houses across the street.”

 

Goku was scratching his head furiously. “So you say I need a divorce?”

 

“I said I'm not offering anything. YOU have to think, it's your choice.”

 

“B-But…Hell…It's possible…But…if she learns that I'm…” he faltered, “…'gay'… I'm not so sure she'll be happy about it…”

 

“For fuck's sake, Goku!” Kamala cursed. “Do you have any guts, or not?! She can't forbid you to see your child. She is just a weak female! What would she be able to do to you if you went and told her that you wanted to see your son?”

 

“Well…” Goku bit his tongue in time before he blurted out about shameful frying pans. And then it dawned on him: he really was a coward! Kamala was right! “So…you're saying… I mean… Oh, never mind,” he waved off. “So, I should choose a partner, build my house near my ex-wife's and live happily?”

 

“'That would be the best choice. But not necessary in this order…” Kamala chuckled.

 

“But Vegeta would never agree…”

 

Kamala smirked. Goku was considering Vegeta, Goku was planning on their future. “Which of them do you mean? Because this one would.” Kamala smirked wider at Goku's stupefied face. “It might take some effort, some persuasion and time, but he'll agree eventually.”

 

“He'd go with me?” Goku shook his head in disbelief. “Nonsense. He'd never…”

 

“And what do you think is keeping him here?”

 

Oh. Goku thought a moment. “His duty to his people, his brother…you?”

 

“If Vedeno went with him and his people were happy and taken care of, it's not a problem.”

 

“Jesus, Kamala. There's a fucking war going on! We are talking about soap bubbles…”

 

“Goku, you are an idiot. You are clinging to that empty hope to get back home, but you forget that this will be possible only then, if we win the war…”

 

Oh. True. “B-but…”

 

“Stop that,” Kamala began to run out of patience. “Let's make a deal, Goku. I'll help you to seduce Vegeta, but you're taking me and my son with you to your Earth.”

 

Goku stared at Kamala wide-eyed. “You planned this, didn't you? You have been doing this from the very beginning, haven't you?”

 

“Yes,” Kamala shrugged. “The first time I noticed how you looked at him, I was waiting only for Vegeta. So how will it be, Goku?”

 

Despite himself Goku felt a growl rising up in his throat. He didn't like that. Kamala had been playing with him the entire time.

 

Kamala's face darkened. “Goku, I can make you very happy, or very unhappy. Choose.”

 

“Are you threatening me?” Goku hissed.

 

“Not exactly,” Kamala just chuckled at Goku's aggressiveness. “I'm letting you choose.”

 

“Grr…”

 

Kamala rolled his eyes. “Alright,” he stood up. “Think about it. It's late, you're tired and paranoid.”

 

“Sit down,” Goku's gaze heavily fell on Kamala. “What's your relationship with Vegeta?” he growled.

 

Kamala fell back into his armchair, laughing truly amused. “Jealous? Figures… We are friends, Goku. Friends only, nothing more. But don't misjudge my intentions here. I'm not betraying Vegeta, no. I'm helping him. I know what he wants. I can make him happy. You can make him happy. It's a very good deal for us all.”

 

“If I decided to go after Vegeta, I would not necessarily need your help…” Goku snorted.

 

Kamala laughed silently. “Well, well, well… A small chat and you are a different man…” He looked Goku in the eye. “You sure as hell will need my help if you want to ever touch his tail. Vegeta is Vegeta, I know him better than anyone else. If you try, you will never have him.”

 

“You said he liked me,” Goku was sure that now Kamala was just trying to convince him that he needed Kamala's help at any cost.

 

“I said?” Kamala chuckled. “I didn't say anything. He actually told me that he is not interested in you at all…”

 

“But you said he'd go with me…” Goku suddenly got very disappointed. If Vegeta wasn't even interested in him, why then these talks?

 

“Yes, he would. You only need to put a little effort in to make things be how you want…”

 

“Kamala, I'm tired and confused, and you are only making this worse.”

 

“Oh, he's interested in you…” Kamala smiled, “he pretends not to be interested. The bastard is lying through his teeth. But the thing is that he has been burnt before, and badly. He decided it's better not to risk trying. He's disappointed in all relationships. He probably doesn't even allow himself to look at you. It's because he's afraid. If you overcome that fear, you will have him.”

 

“Has been burnt before?” Goku repeated. “Vegeta had a lover?”

 

“Gods, Goku, of course he had,” Kamala rolled his eyes. “You're talking like he's twelve or something…”

 

“Who?” Goku asked very calmly, though all hair on his neck stood up in agitation.

 

“First get him, THEN puzzle your brain over hunting his previous lovers. Till then you have no right,” Kamala seriously said.

 

“So, what do I do?”

 

“Finally,” Kamala sighed shaking his head. “So, do we have a deal then? I'll try to help you and you'll take me with you. Well, if you succeed and Vegeta goes with you, he'll take me with him anyway. I just want to be sure, that there won't be any objections from your side.”

 

Goku thought a moment. It was simple. “But I'm not sure if I can go back…it's only a theory…”

 

“I know,” Kamala nodded. “You can't do much about it. I know you have some plan. We'll have to wait now. So, is it a deal?”

 

“Yes, it is,” Goku nodded.

 

XXXXX

 

It was early morning when Kamala joined Vegeta at the table in his room.

 

Vegeta observed Kamala's tired face and reddish eyes. He turned back to his plate. He wasn't happy, wasn't happy at all. Yesterday, he had seen Goku and Kamala near the entrance to the kitchen. He was angry with Kamala. He didn't have any right to be, because he himself gave a green light to Kamala, but oh, how he was angry! And he was angry with Goku. Goku seemed to have forgotten his little problem with his wife while groping with Kamala.

 

“So, where's Goku?” Vegeta asked, fishing some morsel from his plate.

 

Kamala shrugged. “Have no idea.” He dug into his food that was soon presented under his nose.

 

Vegeta observed Kamala from the corner of his eye. “You don't know? I was sure that you'd be fucking each other at least until Friday.”

 

Kamala rolled his eyes at his plate then repeated the same action at Vegeta's face. He then snorted. “The bastard informed me that I'm not his taste.”

 

Bread faltered on its way into Vegeta's mouth. “What?” he blinked at Kamala genuinely surprised.

 

Kamala cruelly stabbed his chicken. “Can you imagine that? Not his taste!” he snorted again.

 

A perplexed Vegeta looked at his bread. From what he had seen he was sure that Goku wasn't concerned about his taste at all. Goku seemed to be affected enough by his heat to forget everything about his taste. “Not his taste?” he repeated. “That's what he said?”

 

“Something like that,” Kamala hid his smile behind his mug. “The bastard said that I was too pushy.”

 

Vegeta proceeded with chewing on his bread. “Well, you really were,” he shrugged. He then sensed Kamala. “You don't seem to be very fazed about this…”

 

Kamala shrugged. “Oh, well, I really like him. If the moron doesn't know what's good for him, it's his own fault.”

 

Vegeta blinked at Kamala. “So he refused you because you had been too pushy? That's…” he thought a moment, “…stupid. Nobody ever refused you…”

 

Kamala suddenly bristled. “Who's this `nobody'?”

 

“Err…right,” Vegeta fished out something from his plate again. “Did he say anything more?”

 

Kamala rolled his eyes. “Well, he said that he liked a different type of person. More…calmer, I suppose. Or shier…whatever,” he waved off. “Of course later he began blabbering that he wouldn't want this to damage our friendship and other bullshit.”

 

Vegeta rolled his eyes too. “I can bet that he preached to you about his poor wife. Until his wife is out of the way, no one is going to get him.”

 

Kamala chuckled at that. “Nah. He's on the way to freedom. He was complaining to me that they fight each day.”

 

“Spars you mean?” Vegeta asked.

 

“What spars…” Kamala rolled his eyes. “They bitch at each other all the time. He explained that he's staying with her only because of his youngest child.”

 

“That's good,” Vegeta purred while chewing on his bread lost in thought.

 

“Umm?” Kamala asked.

 

Vegeta managed to control his blush. “I said that the bread is very good,” he stuffed the entire slice into his mouth to keep it shut.

 

TBC

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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